Going Deep with Chad and JT - Ep. 91 - Chad's GF Caroline Joins
Episode Date: September 9, 2019What up stokers! In this episode, we are joined by Chad's gf Caroline. We dive deep into our Vegas trip, raging rituals, dank songs, Stevie Nicks, our perfect days, and much more. Dive ...on in. Jabwow and Boom Clap. Check out our t shirts at www.chadgoesdeep.com
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oh what's up stokers of stoke nation this is chad kroger coming in with the going deep
with chad and jt podcast welcome to episode 91 i believe that is
right 90 something i don't even keep track but guys welcome i know your mom's listening so i'll
keep it oh your mom listens yeah well i'm she's i think she's listened my dad like listens at work
nice he like told us that i think by accident yeah when we were in newport one time yeah he
said he's listening to at the dealership
yeah yeah like he works at a car dealership yeah but he was pumped yeah he loved it he's like oh
man it's like so funny he loves it oh that's nice i know but yeah my mama listened to this one she
was like how do i say your last name kitzmiller what's up mr kitzmiller my i was telling my mom
that i was coming on last night and she was like well you better be funny oh she said yeah i was like oh my god and she was like it's okay like chad and jt will be funny like
well that's the that's people give that advice like it'll be like reps or something they're like
so what do we do they're like oh just be funny i'm like what does that mean like aren't you be
funny i literally just freeze i'm like yeah maybe something will come out yeah dude my
mom last night we had a show for the troops in long beach it was so fun thank you bro bible
sailor jerry and bob hope uso um my mom i come off stage after my set and my mom comes running up
and she's like oh my god john thomas you have to introduce me to jackie fabulous who is like the
comedian who went up after me and i was like yeah for sure i will i was like the comedian who went up after me. And I was like, yeah, for sure I will. I was like, I tried my hardest up there too, mom.
She was like, yes, Jackie's incredible on America's Got Talent.
She was amazing.
This is Caroline on the podcast, by the way.
My GF.
You can wave to the YouTubers.
Thank you so much for coming on the pod.
I'm excited.
Yeah.
We're pumped to have you.
Thanks.
We've been looking forward to this episode.
I know.
I feel like we've been talking about it for a while. The Stokers want to have you. Yeah. We've been looking forward to this episode. I know.
I feel like we've been talking about it for a while.
The Stokers want to know Caroline.
Oh, my God.
On a deeper level.
Nice.
But going back to your mom is the best.
Because at the end of the show, we were, like, saying thank you to everyone. And we're, like, in JT's mom.
And she, like, stands up with like both
hands she's all in what she looked like jesus yeah she's literally too oh she looked amazing
silhouette of this fiery lady and she's like i'm j i can't do her accent i am jt's mom yeah
i love all of you i love you john thomas i'm so proud of you i am so proud of you and i'm like
i'm on stage with the mic.
I'm like kind of embarrassed.
Like I turned into a little kid again.
I loved it.
But then I just see the whole crowd getting hyped.
And I'm like, I think she's killing it.
I think in true Monica fashion, she got more applause than any of the comics.
She's a killer, dude.
Yeah.
She crushed.
She had the best set.
One of these days, she's just going to walk up and grab the mic.
She should. If there's ever like, I've been at weddings where she didn't even know the couple that well and they're like does anyone want to say anything my mom's like i will she just grabs the mic and
goes he's like i love you i love you so much yo dude she was saying that to everybody she's
grabbing people by the hand she was like listen to me you do what you have to do and you are doing
well i'm like do you know this guy mom oh she's saying that to other people yeah i felt special no you are special you are special she's most
can she's that's number one but she she gives a lot of love yeah that's the best yeah she's cool
look yeah thank you love you mom so carolyn how you doing we we're fresh from our trip from vegas
yeah yeah how's that oh it was awesome it was so much fun. She fell in love with Vegas.
I had never been to Vegas as an adult.
I went one time when I was like 15.
My best friend in junior high's dad got married there.
And so I'd only been that time.
And I was like, I didn't think I was going to like it.
Because I just didn't think it was really my jam.
And then we got there and I was like, this is my jam.
It was awesome.
I want to go back.
What made it your jam?
I like how
like cheesy it is and how everyone's just having so much fun all the time and it doesn't feel like
there's any rules like you can do anything yeah and it's like so i just felt like free i felt like
my best self there we were stoked it was so fun the freedom to jewel oh yeah no one gave no one
gave a shit that was huge people were smoking
cigs in the casino i was like i didn't know this was a thing anywhere in the united states anymore
like everyone's there to have their most wild weekend and he can feel that right like in the
energy like all right everyone like there's no judgment here everyone's just getting after it
yeah and i liked how many like older people there were there too i never thought of vegas as being
it's like you see these like 67 year old couples like on
trips with their neighbors and like at the slots ripping cigs yeah drinking whiskey on the rocks
what do you get the free drinks if you're gambling you get free drinks which is so what
yeah am i dumb for not knowing that no i didn't know it the first couple times yeah oh my god
so some people just play nickel slots all day and then just order drink after drink.
What?
I mean, I think they go to Slur if they know you're doing that, but you can do it.
I love the slots.
When I came back, I was like, yeah, I played the slots.
Everyone was like, why would you play slots?
I was like, because it's fun.
You love the lever.
I won $20.
Yeah, I like the lever.
It does something to your brain, right?
Like, you get like a hit every time it runs.
Oh, that explains it.
We got, we love the wheel.
I'm not sure what you call it.
I don't know what it's called either. Yeah, it wasn't roulette, right? i'm not sure what you call it i don't know
what it's called yeah it wasn't roulette right it's not it's like roulette yeah but it's like
a wheel with like you have a one dollar bill half the slot it's sort of like the fucking
uh wheel of fortune yeah right but upright and it has like half of it's or half of it is one
dollar bills then you have like a bunch of two dollar bills five and it goes down the higher the bill and then there's 20 so there's two dollar bills five dollar bills ten dollar
bills twenty dollar bills and then two forty dollar bills um and we played once and we like
put like a bet on like five or something yeah the first time we did it we did it wrong and the dealer
just like let us do it wrong and then the second time we played she was like helping us out and she
was like you should place bets on what was it it was two five ten and twenty yeah yeah and she was like
all there she has this lady that comes in like only plays it that way all the time and she doesn't
really play to win she just like plays to play but she's like she has the best luck that way
so we started playing it like that and we ended up what was our like highest we got a few 20s
yeah we had like 250 bucks yeah we were up by like 250 our highest? We got a few 20s. Nice. We had like 250 bucks at one point.
Yeah, we were up at like 250.
We lost everything.
Yeah, we got caught up in the adrenaline.
We were just like, let's keep betting.
Then we got down to it.
We walked away with 90.
And what'd you start with?
We don't know.
That's a good question.
We didn't count our starting day.
Well, that's good.
I actually don't know if you lost or won.
It's all feelings.
Yeah.
It's more fun to not play to win. You're just like, won. It's all feeling. Yeah. It's like more fun
to like not play to win.
You're just like,
you're gonna keep going.
Yeah, that's the thing.
It's so hard to stop.
I think if you're playing to win,
you bring a certain stress to it,
which actually makes it harder to win.
Yeah, and harder to have fun.
Yeah.
Because I think if you're having fun,
you're more likely to win.
Yeah.
We ended up walking with something.
Yeah.
We just kept like,
we would like take our chips
and be like,
okay, we're done.
We're like walking away. And then we would like take 50 steps away and then be like oh we want
to go back to the wheel i gotta get back to the wheel there's something about when you like uh
play with like a set amount of money like all right we're just gonna do 50 bucks play with
these bets and you with when you bet that way you win win fairly often. So you get that like. The juice.
The juice.
So when you play with like that little money, it's just like fun.
Yeah. It's not like devastating when you lose.
It's more just like we know we're spending 50 bucks.
We could win.
We couldn't.
I'm like, we don't really give a fuck.
We're just having fun.
I thought that was the most enjoyable.
Me too.
Kind of gambling.
Yeah.
I think I used to win more.
Now I primarily lose when I play blackjack.
Yeah, he plays blackjack too.
I went to blackjack.
He's like begging the whole time.
He's like, I just want to play a game of blackjack.
So we're like searching for the right table.
And you can finish.
Yeah, I went to a $25 minimum.
That's pretty big.
Table.
Threw down my cash.
Got my cards.
I'm like, hit.
I bust.
I lost $25.
It's fast.
And that was the only hand I played.
You can't believe how fast you can lose like $200.
Like you're like, I got $200.
I'm going to be playing for probably six hours.
20 minutes later, you're like, I got no fucking money, man.
Well, I was like to her, I was like, oh, go ahead.
Were you the only one at the table?
Yeah.
No, no. So I was like to her, I was like, I'm going to play at the table yeah no no so i was like to her i was like i'm gonna play blackjack she's like all right i'm gonna go to the slots i'm like i'll probably be a while i lose my first hand i come back she's at the slot
like a minute later i'm like i lost yeah and i had won twenty dollars on the slot yeah
and there's this old lady when i walked to the table it was kind of like the reason
also why i left because she has bad vibes,
and she could tell I wasn't a skilled player.
So I'm sitting down, and she gives me the stink eye.
I was like, all right, lady.
And then I lost, and I was like,
I'll just go back to the wheel.
It's a vicious game, and then the dealer just keeps going.
There's no break where you're like, oh, I'm losing.
I mean, you can sit out a hand or two, but like it's just.
They're so fast.
Especially if you're the only one there.
It's just like it's going to go so quick.
Yeah.
Did you, were you playing by the rules of blackjack?
Like did.
I don't even know.
No.
What would you hit on when you busted?
What did I get?
I think I had like a, dude, I think I had had 12 which you should hit on that's like the worst
uh worst hand yeah and she had an ace and i watched a youtube video on it i was like what
do you do with an ace because you know she turns sideways i'm like i don't know anything
no but an ace is she could have blackjack you gotta you gotta bet yeah or you gotta you gotta
hit rather right yeah yeah so i love caesar's though caesar's is that
your favorite of all the i don't know on sunday we we stayed like till later to wait out traffic
and we ended up what we saw a bunch of the hotels saw bellagio we went to bellagio the fountains at
the bellagio are like the coolest thing i've ever seen they're so cool we watched four different
fountain shows iterations of it yeah yeah it different each time yeah they're
different songs right yeah yeah so i can't even remember they'd like big spender was one and then
all that jazz was one yeah and then um they did like an orchestra like classical music that one
was my least favorite yeah the amount of water pressure must take to jettison all that we were
researching how much yeah how much did it cost to operate like for one day wasn't it like 50 grand or something i think for like a weekend it's like 15
oh no a day maybe 15 okay aaron it was crazy aaron probably knows aaron do you throw down
cash and do you like the bellagio fountain uh the only thing i do when i gamble is i play poker
because that does last right you can be at a
table for three hours and maybe lose everything you had but yeah but not uh and you're also you're
not dealing with like the house always wins it's like fuck it's you versus playing against these
regular jokes dopes from iowa yeah but now like after i still also did it after the poker boom
so it was like these dopes from Iowa are really fucking good.
Right.
I never get at a table where there's Asian dudes.
Oh, really?
Yeah, because they just fuck you up.
Yeah.
Do you have any intel on the Bellagio Fountain?
I don't.
I don't.
I've watched it from the top of the Eiffel Tower, which is fun.
That is the move.
Oh, yeah.
We went to the Paris Hotel, too.
It looked great.
Yeah.
They need to redo the ceiling.
I like in Caesars in the mall, the sky.
Have you been in?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Where it's like the sky.
It's like an arched sky.
Yeah.
It's beautiful.
And I was like, I walked around the mall on like one morning and I was like, it feels
like nighttime here all the time.
Yeah.
This is like the sickest thing.
I think they do that to you on purpose so you'll gamble more oh 100 yeah they like keep it dark yeah i
was telling you i was gonna get that in my new place the sky on top yeah yeah my family friends
the bushes they're very religious they have like religious iconography above their dinner table
yeah it's like an angel like stabbing a boar yeah it's pretty wild yeah it's gothic i think
i'm gonna get a greek nude of apollo that's nice why not just get a greek nude of yourself
oh good call do you want to carve it i will do you carve i used to take pottery classes
nice i could i could throw on the wheel well you're you're artistic well she's great i guess
great before but although let's hold that thought because we
gotta talk about the 20 sandwich oh oh how did we not start with yeah yeah do you want do you
want to dive in i'll i'll give us i'll give some background okay so he told me about it like what
like three weeks ago or three weeks ago and he sent it to me on youtube and i was like oh wow
this is cool like i've never heard of this before.
And I, we practiced with each other about how we were going to do it because we were
both so awkward.
We were like, no, I'm going to hand it to the person and whatever.
So we practiced and we decided he was better at handing it to the person.
But all it is, is putting $20 between the card and the ID and you hand it to the person
that's doing your check-in and we did it we did
40 we did 40 because we got there really late we were like maybe we have better odds yeah so we show
up like we show stokes you know this sandwich tip kevin talked about it's like you put a 20
bill in between your id and credit card when you check into the hotel to try and get complimentary upgrade. So we did, we put 40 and, uh, it was like 9 PM at Caesars and I give it to
her. The money just falls on the counter and she doesn't say anything. She just starts typing.
And I was like, Oh, maybe I have to like say something. She's like, okay, so I have a,
you know, a standard room, but we do have a complimentary upgrade available.
You had a 400 square foot room,
but this new room is 1300 square feet.
And we're like, oh, thank you.
It was so awkward.
We were just like, thanks.
We were just like quiet.
We're like, oh, sweet.
And then we got this suite.
It was like a huge living room
and then a separate bedroom, king size bed.
Two bathrooms. Two bathrooms. Yeah. Huge shower. It was amazing. like a huge living room and then a separate bedroom king-size bed and two bathrooms yeah
huge shower it was amazing you guys jacked oh i was like we got room service yeah nice what'd you
order uh i got a grilled cheese that's a great you got like a steak sandwich or something i think
yeah i got yeah i got prime rib sandwich yeah and watched, what was that movie? The Charlize Theron? Long Shot.
Long Shot.
It was cute.
Oh, dude, that's fun.
It was like the best.
It was so nice.
It took us forever to get there.
Like six hours.
Oh, because of traffic?
Like six and a half, I think.
What time did you guys leave at?
Like right when we should have left.
I mean, I had work, and you guys had a meeting,
so we left at like 2.30.
Yeah.
LA to Vegas, guys.
It's at least four hours.
Yeah.
I'm going to fly next time.
Some people say they do it in three hours, but I'm not buying it.
The best part was Joe.
He did the sandwich tip trick.
I think he threw down 50.
Yeah, he did.
He's like, I wish I could have seen him do it.
Like, here you go.
He just got a better view.
Yeah, I saw that.
He was pissed.
I would have been pissed too.
Like you have a view of the pool and he's like, yeah.
I wanted the suite.
Yeah, he wanted the suite.
We were in a different tower though.
I think they were in like.
He was in Augusta.
Yeah, yeah.
You got to get the suite.
You guys made out like bandits.
That's what it's all about.
It was so crazy.
I didn't know what to do with all the space
i was just like pacing around trying to like occupy the space that we had well when you slept
in i did body weight exercises you did yeah i was doing like air squats and then like burpees and
then i was utilizing the whole living room that's awesome yeah i was doing pull-ups off the chandelier
dude fuck yeah yeah i mean Hotel room workouts are really important.
When you get a suite, I think it's like your duty.
To work your booty.
It was so fun.
Yeah.
No robes, though, which was.
They didn't have robes.
Oh, no robes.
We were talking about the robes for months.
Yeah.
Yeah, you need that for like the hotel motif.
Yeah.
I just watched Blue Crush.
That's like a big scene she puts on the room.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, I love that movie. That's when she's really like letting herself go yeah i remember that when you put on the robe you're relaxed yeah yeah when she's when she starts dating the quarterback yeah matt now you
get to stay in a hotel room yeah i love that movie yeah it, it's good. How was the wedding?
How was Kevin's wedding?
It was fun.
Yeah, it was great.
It was like... Probably the weirdest wedding we'll ever go to.
Elvis was there.
Elvis officiated, right?
Yeah, which was amazing.
Yeah, and then Kevin was so funny.
And he had no groomsmen?
No.
No.
But the whole wedding, you could tell how slightly amused he was.
Yeah.
He had this look on his face where he looked like he was about could the whole wedding you could tell how slightly amused he was yeah yeah
he had this look on his face where he looked like he was about to start laughing yeah he's like this
is amazing you know what kevin is he's an alpha schmoll he is yeah like he's a schmoll but he's
like very proud of his schmollness like he planned his own bachelor party he had no groomsmen yeah
he planned the entire wedding yeah made it weird yeah and like is so thrilled about it yeah
he was so thrilled it was yeah he was like messaging me like a day before he got married
like talking shit to me i'm like are you getting married tomorrow he's like admit you're a bitch
bar i'm like what i'm like don't you have like bigger fish to fry right now what the fuck and
i'm getting all pissed off i'm like fuck you yeah you. Dude, I always picture it. And he did Molly the night of his wedding, too.
Oh, he did?
He loves that.
Yeah.
He's funny when he's cranked up like that.
Because he goes super sweet.
Normally, he's very acerbic.
But when he's all fucked up, he's like, I love you, man.
I love you.
I'm like, oh, nice.
Cool.
That was hilarious.
That's good.
Yeah.
What else, guys?
What can I have on Labor Day.
Do you guys have plans for the weekend?
I think she's raging.
Yeah.
Where are you raging at?
Just here.
I just like.
You got to get it in.
Yeah.
I'm going to go out.
Do you have a go-to ritual when you start part?
When I go out?
Yeah, like a way to prep for the rage not really i did in
college yeah in college i was like i mean in college i could drink so much more than i can
drink now because i drink so much more often but um when i was in college i would there was always
like the pregame i would always take like six shots within like an hour and a half. Would you do poles or just regression?
I would do poles.
What was your chaser?
Oh, God.
In college, me and my sister, we always drank the same thing.
It was, it's so gross, raspberry Smirnoff.
Yeah.
Yeah, and we would chase it with Sprite.
That's a classic combo.
It's good.
Oh, God.
Dude, I went through so many, like i used to drink malibu
for a while oh yeah me too then i drank like vodka then i switched to jack do you
i could never drink malibu someone come like after prom i got a bottle of malibu i was like let's go
dude dude i was never a rum guy no it's terrible i went through a huge fireball stage oh you did
i did not like it when that took over no i it lasted like
three months or maybe two months for me but like oh my god i could not do it anymore it was it was
always like fireball and dr pepper it was inescapable for like a year yeah everywhere
you went everyone's like we're doing fireball shots i was like fuck it's there's so much sugar
it's so bad for you you just feel like shit i think everyone has had that phase yeah like a six month fireball phase until you
realize how shitty you feel like where i went to college in arkansas it got so cold yeah so like
when it warmed you up yeah we would have like we'd have like outdoor functions where you'd like go
camping and like just camp for a night and that's where everyone's
like ripping fireball shots yeah like kind of keeps you warm right it does go down warm yeah
yeah it's got heat too it goes down differently than like raspberry smirnoff i always regret i
didn't spend more time with jagermeister i had fun i had fun i had fun i know i know i know i know i know i know i know in high
school i was like all i was doing jaeger bombs i was loving it and then i just never ventured back
so i never i guess i never like got grossed out by it that's what metallica liked to drink
yeah i watched it behind the music and they're like, there's this booze called Jaeger. Oh my God. And they're all just like,
yeah,
there's a bar in Arkansas when I was in college and they did one,
it was one or $2,
one or $2 Vegas bombs on Thursday night.
What's a Vegas bomb?
It's Jaeger vodka,
Red Bull.
I think that's it.
Jaeger vodka.
I think that sounds good.
I mean, I did plenty of them.
Yeah.
I'm with it.
Yeah.
Maybe because I've been sober for a month.
You've like poisoned somebody.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Just give them a shot of that.
Right.
Cool.
I think because I've been sober for a month, I just, I'm like craving like a pitcher of
AMF or something.
Oh my God.
That was a huge phase I had too.
AMF?
Yeah.
Huge.
We would make them. I was going to phase I had too. AMF? Yeah, huge. We would make them.
I was going to ask.
How do you make them?
It's like sapphire and like rum.
I think there's vodka in it.
And then I can't even remember what the mixer was.
Just blue?
Yeah, just blue.
Just the color blue.
I had a phase where I only drank out of beer bongs.
Just anything?
Because I didn't like the taste of beer that much,
and it was too hard for me.
So I was like, but I want to be drunk.
So I would just literally go to parties,
and I'd go up to guys.
I'd be like, Alex, did you bring your beer bongs?
Yeah, I was like, meet me in the backyard in like 20 minutes, dude.
Dude, I love that.
I'd just do like four in a row.
Oh, my God.
Then sometimes I'd vomit out just like a full beer.
Oh, yeah. Just like straight back out. And then just i'd vomit out just like like a full beer yeah
just like straight back out and then just go you know like i don't do this anymore well i still do
it once in a while but you know when like you used to just throw up and then just rally yeah like you
throw up oh i feel better now yeah i can dance yeah okay now this is gonna be funny yeah i i
didn't yeah i had a big beer bong phase i was always just i love the beer bong and um i remember
i would just annoy people because i would always bring i'm like you guys I love the beer bong. And I remember I would just annoy people because I would always bring it.
I'm like, you guys want to like beer bong?
And they're like, it's like Sunday.
I'm like, all right.
Because I love like that big chug.
It's just quick.
It's fast.
Yeah.
It's fast.
Go ahead.
That's why we're sponsored by Helix.
Yeah.
I beer bonged a strawberry one time in college.
I mean, I beer bonged a strawberry one time I mean I beer bonged a lot of beer but like
someone like
someone tricked me into beer bonging
a strawberry like I think it was already like
in the beer bong and they were like
do this beer bong and I was like
okay and I did it and I was like
oh my god
we had another phase where my parents
had a friend from Mexico
and he was like one night they were having like a dinner and he was like astronauts. Let's do astronauts. Astronaut was like you put ground coffee on your tongue or on your finger and you licked it and then you do a shot of vodka. And my parents were like, it's really fun. And then so me and all my 16 year old friends started doing it. And then we all just like one night just ruined like every plate in the house and like everyone's vomiting everyone my dad and mom like had to sit me down the next day they're like john thomas you do that drink once
after dinner to give yourself energy you don't only drink astronaut and i was like we're idiots
we don't know what you're fucking doing we're just trying to be crazy have you ever done pickle
pickle shots i think it's where you do a pickle back afterwards you yeah yeah because it's supposed
to it's like the i think it's like the acidity
yeah or something it's like a vodka shot and then you chase it with pickle juice or something
but isn't it supposed to like knock it has like a health benefit right oh does it i don't know
i just heard it tastes good i love pickles yeah maybe that is what i don't know doesn't pickle
juice help with drug tests? Oh. Am I?
This has more benefits than I knew about.
Yeah. I've heard that.
Wow.
If you're getting tested for weed, chuck pickle juice.
Really?
That's great.
Some young stoker out there is just going to do.
Dad's going to be like, why are all the pickles in a Ziploc bag?
It's on their store.
Went out of the jar.
It's on their store.
Like, crush that test, dude.
They're just chugging.
There was always this, like, if you eat too many poppy seed bagels,
you'll fail your drink test for opium or something.
Oh, that's so funny.
I shotgunned a Four Loko one time.
Ooh.
Ow.
It was one that had caffeine, too.
Oh.
Yeah.
And I was getting, like, hammered within, like, five minutes. It was pretty fun. I enjoyed it. Yeah, too. Oh. Yeah. And I was literally, I was getting like hammered within like five minutes.
It was pretty fun.
I enjoyed it.
Yeah, that's quick.
Yeah.
Now like, now I feel like the only like trend now is like hard seltzer.
Yeah.
Oh, the white cloth stuff?
Yeah.
You know, it's good we're talking about this because we haven't talked about it on here.
Yeah.
And we were playing a lot of drinking games in my fantasy football trip to Utah.
and we were playing a lot of drinking games in my fantasy football trip to Utah
and one of the guys without telling anybody
instead of pouring beer started pouring White Claws
and me and all my friends were like
this tastes like shit.
Who the fuck did this?
They're like it's White Claws.
I was like it's bullshit.
I'm an old man.
I was like fuck this.
Yeah.
What does it taste like?
It just tastes like
it kind of tastes like La Croix
but it has like a little Does it have a little spike to it? Yeah it taste like it just tastes like it kind of tastes like la croix but
it has like a little does it have a little spike to it yeah it's like yeah i mean it's only like
100 calories yeah i like it i don't get as hung over when i drink it like i can't like my hangovers
when i drink beer are like yeah you know maybe i gotta just open up and just try new things i
give it another shot i didn't like it at first like when i first tried them like a year and a
half because i always drink vodka water that's like my drink it's just vodka water with
lime and when i first drank i didn't like it because i didn't like the carbonation because
like flat water and then i started drinking them a bunch like two months ago and i like them now
yeah she kind of you kind of sold me on it because of less hangover cheaper yeah because yeah like when i just chug bub lights it like
destroys me yeah but um i'm just but i'm just so sensitive to hangovers now too everything
i have like three beers in the next day i'm like yeah yeah i have like staring down the freeway
yeah i have like one beer and i'm like
everything's basically meaningless no dude that's she she's like are you sad
yeah he i'm a baby i feel like when i my mom and i call it like when we're hung over we get really
punchy like we're just like silly and we like laugh at everything and we feel horrible but
we'll like we'll just like shoot the shit all day and
like die laughing the whole day right that's just like and that's how i am with my friends like the
suffering is almost fun yeah it's like it's kind of fun i feel like yeah it's like hilarious and
you look like shit you go everywhere and you're like oh i look horrible and i feel horrible this
is hilarious it used to be like that yeah and then at some point it turned yeah yeah i think
it's after i got medicated actually okay it's like the combo of the two things it's just like fighting each other i'm messing with too much stuff right yeah
because i used to love hangover same thing like i wake up with my buddies and it was like getting
breakfast after a party was more fun than the party yeah and you just sit there and like laugh
like crazy yeah and now i just i have to go work out or sleep or do something do something yeah
yeah i don't know what it is about like the like maybe it's like the switch to like work out or sleep or do something. Do something. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know what it is about like the,
the like,
maybe it's like the switch to like mid twenties or something.
Yeah.
There's something where it just like hangovers just became a huge burden.
Yeah.
All of a sudden it started to be down.
My parents don't have it.
It's real.
Yeah.
They don't have it.
It's amazing.
My parents do not have that.
Yeah.
I mean, I might at some point.
I'm not like.
I feel like your mom's just like a tank.
My mom is just like the most positive, like, upbeat person.
Like, she just doesn't get down like, you know.
Yeah.
She's amazing.
My parents got down, but they somehow like.
Yeah.
It didn't bother them that they were down.
Yeah.
They were just like, I feel like shit. Yeah. Like, I feel like shit. And then everybody would be like, it didn't bother them that they were down yeah they're just like i feel like shit yeah i feel like shit and then everybody be like it's fine yeah and then like
just party again a couple days later i can't sleep when i'm hungover oh me neither i can't nap
i can't nap yeah i uh i have to like be i'll be like awake and miserable but i it's like i can't
fall asleep i i think it's all mindset if you can get like
that like your parents seem to have that mindset yeah and your parents too yeah um i don't know
maybe it's the generation we're in yeah but i also think maybe they were good at like
not letting me see it too you know yeah i bet you I bet you they got blue. That's a good point. Yeah, my yeah, my
My parents are always like so positive. My mom is just like she's even if she feels down
She just keeps everyone up
She's like she's such a silver lining person like yeah
I know when I was in like junior high in high school
It was annoying to me because I would be like no this sucks like why don't you just say this sucks?
You know and she's always like looking at the positive.
When you're that age, you're so defiant.
You're like, no, I'm right.
And you're angsty.
This sucks.
And like, I know it does.
But now I'm like,
I feel like it's rubbed off on me to an extent
where like, you know, I get down,
but then I'm able to kind of look at that side of things.
And she's just like,
it was such conditioning from her.
I do miss my righteousness
from when I was like a teenager
where I just like walk into a room and be like,
this is all bullshit.
Yeah, you're so short.
Everyone here is just so full of shit.
Yeah, like people are the worst.
Like I hate people.
Yeah, I'm like, you pretend you're one person for everybody,
but I know behind closed doors you're actually kind of a dick.
You have all these like, when you're like.
And now it's like not that big of a deal.
I'm like, yeah, of course he's acting like a nicer person.
What's he going to do?
Come out and be like, this is the worst shit I've ever done to everybody.
I would make these huge statements.
I'd be like, it's not all about money.
I'd walk by my dad and he's like, I'm paying for college.
Yeah.
Like, yeah, it's not all about money, dad.
I don't give a fuck.
It's all like half formed ideologies that they're so convinced about.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
You like realize yeah
wow i know everything now and they haven't been beaten up by like actual life where like your
ideology gets like kind of molded to reality where you're like all right well i can't be
like the perfect thing i thought i was gonna be right yeah i remember i would sag my pants
that was like a big thing you sagged your pants i sagged my pants yeah i really
yeah how did i not know that high school what kind of pain i don't talk i get vulnerable on
the podcast were you wearing tight underwear or loose underwear i was wearing boxers you know
oh my god but i had a big shirt so it was just like my oh my god i sagged a lot yeah what my dad's like he's like pull your pants up i'm like we're not
at the country club dad my dad would just be like jt don't you think your pants would look a little
bit better if they fit more and i'd be like yeah you'd like to think that wouldn't you dad yeah
because you're not smart and he'd be like all right he's like all right my dad would always
say something he's like he's like what are your pants doing i'm like they're doing what ryan sheckler's pants do oh yeah it was like a skate
thing it was a skate thing yeah yeah yeah i guess i've yeah yeah we had an older visualizing right
right yeah now i can see it it looks good oh maybe i should bring it back no we had we had
an older friend wyatt and he sagged his pants like like he would literally have his waist at
his knees yeah
just his ass and boxers were out all the time I thought he was like the coolest funniest guy
so I just started doing it yeah and my dad literally sat me down he's like JT look I think
Wyatt's a cool guy too but we don't need to wear our pants like you do he was like yeah that's
probably fair there was something about when the dude would sag his pants like super low you're
like like that guy knows something I don't he was 17 buzz cut girls
liked him and he was so he smoked cigarettes i was just like this guy is i gotta pull my pants
down more as they come yeah yeah um how was your draft in utah that was amazing yeah i'm really
happy about the squad we got that's great yeah how many people were there 16 cool yeah so it's a lot of guys
a lot a lot of dudes but it was it's fun it's just like we're at salt lake yeah and everyone's
just it's we're all just doing little competitions yeah yeah that's so fun just finding games to
compete against yeah that's all and it's fun yeah they're all great guys i miss them it's it's it's
the best when we go where what friends are are they? Are they like college friends?
High school.
High school.
Yeah.
That's so fun.
Yeah, it's good.
I was going to ask you, what song do you listen to to get hyped when you go out?
Oh my God.
It changes a lot.
Yeah.
You have good taste.
I like a lot of different types of music.
I'm really trying to think of like my one pump up jam.
I really like No Hands by Roscoe Dash. Dude, good one that's one of my favorite that's always been one of my favorite ones
oh and roscoe r-o-s-e-o we mr shawty put it on me i be going ham so what's the upgrade from baloney oh and alanis morissette
i listen to her all the time yeah to get amped which is weird um any jagged little pill song
um you want to know jagged little pill we crush third eye blind a lot a lot of good oh the killers mr bright side
it's i mean that's kind of unoriginal but it's one of the best songs of all time what's that
what's their new song oh the man have you listened to the man by the killers it's not like new new
it's newer like within the last year and a half or so but it gets you really really amped okay
yeah i like their shot at the night too gets me it's got that they're one of like the killer i want to see the killers so bad they're like
one of the number one bands i want to see live that i've never seen i want to see fleetwood
mac really bad we saw fleetwood yeah it was fun yeah i remember but i actually started listening
to fleetwood mac again i was rock climbing yesterday. I listened to The Climb.
The Climb?
No, The Chain.
The Chain.
Whatever the fuck.
But I like that you listened to The Climb.
I also listened to The Climb.
That's a good song.
Yeah.
They're both great songs.
The Chain's great.
The Chain is really great.
Well, I think I was like rock climbing.
I was like, this is The Climb.
It's so fitting. It's crazy to me. Like Stevie Nicks. I talked about it on the podcast like a month ago. Stevie Nicks is really great. Well, I think I was like rock climbing. I was like, this is the climb. This is so fitting.
It's crazy to me.
Like Stevie Nicks, I talked about it on the podcast like a month ago.
Stevie Nicks is so incredible.
But then like Christine McVie, is that her name?
Yeah, she's amazing too.
She's incredible too.
Yeah.
Like they both have like so many great songs.
Yeah.
She didn't have as the, I think like the image that Stevie, like Stevie Nicks was just such.
A siren.
Yeah.
And she was just this like California babe who was like a badass and
like so cool yeah my favorite my favorite fleetwood mac song is dreams for sure which is
funny because my other favorite song is dreams by the cranberries so it's two dreams both really
good songs yeah i think glow an episode of glow had dreams on it oh really i haven't watched that
yet it's good yeah i need to watch it it's really sad though i think it's gotten progressively sadder and really kind of like to turn back to the
rollicking fun of the first season yeah but when that song comes on you're just like
yeah it works beautifully yeah yeah it's such a good song and they have like they've there's a
live version that's really good yeah what about when stevie nicks sang that song like wild at
heart blame it on my wild. Have you guys seen that?
She's like backstabbing apparently on Blow.
And she's just like, she's so effortlessly talented and unique.
It's like crazy.
Her voice sounded exactly the same line.
It was pretty, it was cool to watch her.
I mean, we were pretty high up.
But to just see, uh there's something about like
seeing her on stage and then like that voice that you know so well just like coming yeah it's
something weird to come out of a body right yeah and and yeah like i was she was i was pretty
starstruck by her yeah even though i saw her she's so distant she's one of those people where i'll
get in a hole of watching interviews of her like i'll just watch non-stop interviews what she like in interviews she's very she's like
super real and especially like later in her career she gets really transparent about her
like drug addictions and like she has a really good interview that oprah did have you ever
listened to oprah's master class the no um it's a podcast But I got a Masterclass.
Oh, Soul?
It's not Soul Sessions.
It's different than Soul Sessions.
Masterclass is,
it's pretty much like,
I think they do an interview and then they take
Oprah's voice out of it
and it just sounds like
a monologue of the people.
So like Stevie Nicks has one.
I like that.
I think Will Smith has one.
Like Dr.icks has one. I like that. I think Will Smith has one. Like Dr. Drew has one.
Oh, I've listened to a bunch of them.
But Stevie Nicks was really, really good.
She gets super like transparent about like all of her ups and downs with like her addictions to like uppers and downers.
And like how when she got off coke, they put on a bunch of like benzos.
And then the come down from benzos was like worse than the come down from coke and she was just like it's just like an
interesting perspective into something that was part of her entire career yeah how long has she
been sober uh i think like i feel like since like i might be making this up i feel like since like
2004 but it might have been longer than that.
That's fairly recent though.
I don't know.
I might've just made that up.
I don't think anymore.
Yeah.
I mean,
Tom Petty,
when he died,
had like,
yeah,
I guess you never really know.
Yeah.
Like Prince,
I think died from,
yeah.
You assume these old rock stars that they just like give it up at some point,
but some of them just,
uh,
would Prince die from,
is it fentanyl?
I think so.
Oh my God. Yeah. So was Tom Petty actually too. They found out that he is it fentanyl i think so oh my god yeah so
was tom petty actually too they found out that he was on fentanyl so it's bad so it's bad oxycontin
for both of them it was accidental for both of them yeah for sure oh man that's yeah this this
fentanyl is a nasty oh dude it's so so they're gonna settle for like the company that manufactured
it is gonna settle for like 10 or 12 billion dollars i don't know but but people
want even more because they do like 34 that angel's pitcher died from fentanyl too oh is that
what ended up happening with him oh god oh man oh i watched a documentary last night about studio 54
oh it was so cool and i was thinking about that because it's like they were in that club just coats like filled
with like coke and like um quaaludes and all that I'm like these people weren't even scared about
like fentanyl or yeah anything like that because it wasn't really a thing anymore but it was so
crazy to see they were just like video clips of people just like doing blow like all over the club
It's just like that's so crazy. Yeah
It's weird in movies when you see it like they had this spoon the coke spoon. Yeah. Yeah, they had that in the yeah, I
Had nothing else
I'm right there with you
But yeah studio 54 looked like a
funny banging spot I've only seen the movie
the video with Ryan Philippe what up
Ryan says he listens Ryan what up Ryan
Ryan if you're listening I love that movie
and
yeah just the way that people
partied there and stuff and like the
weird intersection of people that were there
it's cool like Diana Ross and like Truman Capote
just like characters well in the night before they all went the two guys went to jail their names are ian and
steve before they went to jail they threw like the biggest party they've ever thrown like right
before they were booked yeah then they like went straight to jail what what did they go to jail for
uh like uh like skimming profits like oh really and he was like he was like flagrant about it
like he went on a news interview show yeah and they're like how much money do you make he's like 10
million dollars or at least that's what i tell the irs yeah yeah and then like the next day they
like raided them and they found like a bunch of coke and like hilarious because he's such a party
guy and that was so much a part of his image and then like people talk about him he was like a
really nerdy guy yeah who built the coolest place in the world because that was like the only way he'd get let in basically.
Yeah.
But he was like, one of them was super introverted
and like super like to himself and he like designed the club
and that was Ian and he's still alive.
And then Steve was kind of like the socialite one
who would like be in with the celebrities
and he was more in front of the camera
and he loved the money and the attention and the fame and stuff.
But he was still just like a fun, loving, extroverted guy.
And he died of AIDS.
Oh, really?
How long did they go to jail for?
Three and a half years.
Oh, wow.
Yeah.
And then they came out and Ian, the other guy, I can't think of what his last name is,
but he got out and has built like tons of incredible hotels.
When they got out, they both kind of invented the boutique hotel.
Oh wow.
Yeah.
Which is now everywhere.
It's the standard.
Yeah.
The standard.
The standard.
Is the standard boutique?
I don't think so.
I don't think so.
I think it's too big.
Yeah.
It was good though.
We went to the pool there one time.
Oh,
it was weird.
It was so LA.
Oh yeah.
It was like the most LA place.
We were, the one in downtown? No ho right it was fun it was fun because we were in the sun
but then like we didn't we didn't fit in yeah everyone was like everyone was like too manscaped
i mean yeah yeah and there was just like this air about everyone like everyone's just
sitting on the side of the pool but there's something well yeah there's they had that la
like disconnect you know it's like you go to like a hollywood party and like like blase cool yeah
yeah like no one yeah no one gives a fuck they're they're you know for themselves to like say they're
at a hollywood party and it's so performative we just wanted to like lay out yeah and get in water and that yeah that was fun it was fun i mean it was fun yeah when i was in
just graduated from high school my friends and i we all had fake ids that we got from like
macarthur park which was like terrify us and then we went to the standard in downtown and we got up
to the pool area it's like where they shot the cover of entourage dvd yeah like we're an entourage
and then we're like all, what's everybody's backstory?
So we all made up lies.
I was like, I'm a screenwriter.
And the guys were like, that's good.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And then me and three of my buddies,
we tried to hit on some older girls.
And we were like, where are you guys from?
They're like, Orange County.
And we were like, where?
And one of them was like, Tustin.
And then my buddy, just like trying to nag her,
was like, that's not really Orange County.
And then she got super pissed. but she was like really smart.
And she just ripped him a new asshole for like 20 minutes.
She's like, you think you look cool in your like older brother's borrowed jacket
while you're trying to be a big shot in LA?
And like while you spend money with daddy's credit card?
And then my buddy was just like, he got so mad.
He's like, spend money with my daddy's credit card.
How about working nine to five every day?
He didn't have a job. I was like, what are you even talking about? I was like, you money with my daddy's credit card. How about working? Nine to five. Every day. He didn't have a job.
I was like, what are you even talking about?
I was like, you don't have a job.
Oh, that's so funny.
And they just started screaming at each other.
But it was fun.
That's hilarious.
Yeah.
Do you ever get to drop the screenwriter line?
Yeah.
I do think I told a couple of people I was a screenwriter.
How did they react?
I think everyone was pretty nice to me.
I probably looked 12.
I'm a screenwriter.
Like, oh, okay. Yeah. Or maybe they thought I was like a wonder kid. And they're like, this is the new hot kid in LA. Yeah. I think everyone was pretty nice to me I probably looked 12 I'm a screenwriter like oh okay yeah
or maybe they thought I was like a wonder kid and they're like this is the new hot kid in LA
yeah he's writing scripts and he's five foot two you should have added that I'm kind of like the
wonder kid of like LA right now kind of the biggest hot shot yeah I think I was I was even
I was pretty smart I was like I write screenplays but right now I'm like a writer on a reality
television show called 24 7 yeah like i
try to like sound industry savvy yeah yeah that's hilarious i remember one of my friends too he wore
like too bro of an outfit like we all wore like what we thought was like cool stuff yeah and my
one buddy just wore a long sleeve shirt with a t-shirt over the top of it you know that look
yeah and then like a backwards independent hat and like the leader of our crew ross was like
fucking change jared was like what the fuck dude he's like he looked at me at one point said part of i look
stupid i was like just change bro that's so good yeah i was thinking we could do the perfect day
thing oh yeah this is my favorite game do you want to do that yeah let's do it so like what
would your perfect day be do you is there any do you have any more description of it? I'll just do it.
You'll get it.
Okay.
Oh, shit.
I feel like I have edits since I did it last.
Okay.
Just let it flow.
I wake up at 7 in the morning, and I get...
I have a Starbucks coffee, black coffee with a little bit of half and half,
and a bacon, egg, and gouda sandwich. Shit. I have to start over. I coffee with a little bit of half and half, and a bacon egg and gouda sandwich.
Shit, I have to start over.
I already fucked it up.
Go ahead.
I wake up at 7 a.m.
It'd be funny if you just changed that to like 7.05 a.m.
That was the big change.
I wake up at 7.05 a.m.
Nice.
I have a Starbucks coffee, black coffee with a little bit of half and half
And a Shirley's bagel
This is in Newport by the way
I watch Good Morning America
And I drink coffee for two hours
Until nine in the morning
And then we go to the beach
And we serve
I'm really good
Suddenly
I took her two weeks ago she shredded okay well i'm even
better at this point okay and we serve for two okay great so we serve for two hours and then we
lay out and it's very peaceful and i get slightly sunburned not Not like torched, but like a little bit sunburned. And I go home and I take a nap for like an hour and a half.
And I'm like, there's like sand in my bed from being at the beach.
And I get up and I'm like so hungry and ready to eat.
So I take a shower and then we go eat at Mama D's.
And I get, do you know Mama D's in Newport?
No, I don't.
It's an Italian place.
It's right across from Malarkey's.
Okay.
It's like, it's so good.
I eat cheese tortellini with pink sauce.
And I'm so full and uncomfortable from eating so much.
Then I go home and I play The Sims for two hours.
And then I go to bed.
I love it.
And that's my perfect day.
That's been my perfect day, I think. I love it. And that's my perfect day. That's been my perfect day.
I think.
I think you could make that happen.
Well, it's happened before.
That's how I know it's my perfect day.
Minus the surfing.
But it's been my perfect.
It's been my day before.
And so I already know.
Yeah.
That it's my perfect day.
That's like when I'm the happiest.
Okay.
Yeah.
Can we use like fantasy in ours?
I mean, yeah.
It's your perfect day, but...
Okay.
Yeah, mine has a lot of fantasy components.
Well, now mine's boring.
No, not at all.
I think there's a lot of beauty in the realism.
Yeah.
Okay, cool.
You're more practical.
Okay.
Should I go?
Yeah, baby.
All right.
I wake up.
704 AM.
I get a venti iced coffee It doesn't have to be Star Wars
I just get a large iced coffee
And it gets me jacked
And then I go surf
Where do I surf
I guess I want to be in
Let's see
Newport
I surf I'll go surf huntington
beach pier for three hours and i come out just pumped great sesh and then as i walk out a rock
climbing wall just shoots out of the sand and i climb up the wall and then i base jump off and then I get um then I get pokey for breakfast salad based
do I get pokey yeah I'm gonna stick with it I get pokey for breakfast I go watch a matinee movie tons of popcorn, M&Ms, a big soda.
And then I go surf again.
I lay out in tan until the evening.
And then another rock climbing wall just shoots up.
I love it. And I climb to to the top and i paraglide off
um and then i just go malarkeys and i crush bud lights that's fire dude that was really good thank
you the only fantasy was just like extreme sports shooting like becoming available to you
odd times they should make that a thing.
That's a good idea.
Thanks.
It's like a power someone would have as a superhero.
They could just make rock climbing walls appear.
Or we should tell Kelly Slater to install that at the surf ranch.
Oh, that'd be awesome.
Yeah.
My perfect day, I wake up 7.03 a.m.
and I go back to sleep for a couple hours.
I wake up for real at 10.
I come outside and David Halberstrom, the author whose book I'm reading right now, is just sitting at my coffee table.
And he says, Mr. Parr, sit down.
I'd like to hear your thoughts on what you read from my book yesterday.
So I download him on how I feel in general about his work.
We chop it up a little bit. I go outside to go to the gym. and what you read from my book yesterday. So I download him on how I feel in general about his work.
We chop it up a little bit.
I go outside to go to the gym.
No scooters are available, so I have to hop on Pegasus.
Pegasus is in the mood to fly.
We fly to the boxing gym.
I go in there.
It's me, Vasyl Lomachenko, Terrence Crawford.
We chop it up for a little bit.
Then we hit the mitts, get a good workout in.
My left shoulder somehow doesn't feel any pain.
It's just clicking beautifully.
Then I fly to meet you at the pokey shop, get some pokey.
Best pokey on the mainland because it came from Hawaii.
They sent it over here fast.
Chow down on that.
Then I go probably do some comedy,
probably do some stand-up.
Oh, yeah, I forgot.
Short set, three minutes.
Just three?
Just three minutes.
Just crush.
Big laugh sound. Crush.
Razor sharp material.
It's like one joke and then you drop.
I basically just hand the audience
small audience 50 people a diamond i just hand them a diamond in three minutes splits up they
all get to take it home then i meet sally at a dance club oh and they're playing my dream playlist
and everyone's got the right energy and then i just freaking rip up the floor john travolta and
saturday night fever enjoying the moment in my element my truest self we dance for hour and a
half suddenly there's a there's a wedding a wedding pops up i love a wedding party goes next level who's getting married just two of my buddies
whoever
and someone announces
they're pregnant
fight breaks out
you know
some guy tries to blow up
the wedding
he's got a henchman with him
I gotta fight the henchman
it's a good clean fight
nobody gets too badly hurt
but I win
I'm lauded by all
for my defense of the party.
And then we wrap up.
And now I want to redo mine.
I do too.
Really?
There's so much detail.
You were including people too.
Yeah.
We crush Bud Light Simulator.
Yeah.
I've always played it as a solo game, but we would go surfing together.
That is smart though to like because
yeah you have more control over that you can actually make that perfect day happen right
right right i mean my perfect day did happen at one point in my life i was probably 16 but it
did happen were you cognizant of the fact that it was a perfect day yeah i'm i'm like very aware when
i'm having one of like the best days ever right sure we had one like two weeks ago when we surfed
when we went surfing and then we went to see a movie and i was just like this is the best days ever. Right. For sure. We had one like two weeks ago. When we surfed. When we went surfing
and then we went to see a movie
and I was just like,
this is the best day.
Like I'm so happy about this day.
And then the next day,
I'm kind of like,
I wish it was still that day.
Right.
But it always has to do
with being in the sun
and being in the water.
Like me being in the ocean,
I get like a high,
like I get so happy.
You're right.
I got to hit the ocean.
Yeah.
You got to get that dose.
That's going to go in.
I think we ate pokey at the ocean. Yeah gotta get that dose that's gonna go and i think
we ate pokey at the ocean yeah yeah yeah and you took a dip after yeah and played some volleyball
all right that day we had is we can recreate that oh yeah i mean that's my best days are pretty
simple too it's always like my and i have like a really poignant memory really of like most of my
favorite days ever usually like one of all of the
people that i'm closest with my mom and my dad and like father's day with me and my dad was one
of the best days it was just me and him and we like went bar crawling and like yeah i remember
i was driving with my first girlfriend and then just two of my best buddies in a car to get lunch
and i was like this is it you have those moments i'm like i'm surrounded by like the best people
yeah it's on yeah it like the best people. Yeah.
It's on.
Yeah, it's the best.
Like I had a lot of those in college too,
especially at the end of college.
It was just like me and like my two best friends from college
pretty much at that point.
And we would just like, we were in Arkansas
and it was like so pretty because it was spring
and we would just like drive around and listen to music.
And I would just have these like euphoric states
where I was just like, this is,
I'm like the happiest I'll ever be right now I had that often with
Mimosas on Saturday. Yeah, when you drink mimosas on Saturday, especially in college. It's like
It really doesn't get better than this. I kind of had last night was like I was like, this is really special
I was last night. Yeah
Yeah
because it was just like where there was family there and then there was like you and strider and then there's like fans there and it's like we're all mingling afterwards and i'm like this is like really
your mom looked angelic yeah she was she was on yeah she's the fourth of july is a big one for
me too i'm always in that state on the fourth of july yeah i gotta use the restroom super quick
sorry guys bon voyage i shall return i think it's going great yeah yeah should we chop it up
how are you i'm good how are you i'm good just um sore from rock climbing i know
i'm just getting stronger i can't wait i'm gonna be like 18 forever no that's okay my voice cracks as does it yeah i heard that i mean
i don't know i'm just trying to make you feel better thank you but it could crack i will take
note when it does but i don't think bloomer i was a late bloomer were you late bloomer yeah
100 when did you start blooming in 10th grade probably i was super super awkward were you short
um i was pretty small yeah i was i was short until like i was a sophomore i guess yeah it wasn't i
was just like pretty dweeby as like a junior high kid it's hard for me to picture like i know you're
smart and stuff but oh well i wasn't book smart ever i had horrible grades but you're horrible
grades but i but i've always been like with it to an extent. Yeah. But I was nerdy.
I was, like, nerdy in the sense that, like, I did things like played The Sims and, like,
rode a razor scooter until I was, like, too old to be doing that.
Yeah.
Like, sleeping with my mom, like, until I was in ninth grade and, like.
Those are all good things, though.
Oh, yeah.
No, they were.
It wasn't bad.
No, I didn't mean to paint it that way.
Yeah.
Yeah, I love to play Roller Coaster Tycoon.
Yeah.
Did you ever play that?
Yeah.
It was good.
But The Sims is just like...
The Sims is good.
If you play The Sims 3, like, the graphics are crazy.
You can build any house you want.
I know.
I got, like, The Sims 1, and I just never kept going.
The Sims 1 kind of sucks though.
You know what I think is interesting about those games?
Is that like you basically realize how long it would take you if you were God
before you became just like an empty sadist who just liked hurting people.
Like I'll be playing Roller Coaster Tycoon for like an hour.
Oh, dude, you just kill people.
And I'm like, you know, the park's running great.
Everything's where I want it to be.
It's time to just kill a few people for fun.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's like you have these little voodoo dolls
that you can, like, do anything to.
Yeah.
When people got in the pool in The Sims,
you just had to, like, delete the ladder.
They, like, die in the pool or, like, delete the door
and they, like, can't escape.
Or, like, every time they, like, reach to eat food,
you're like, nope.
You find glitches in the game.
Yeah, you can, like, I think you can, like,
change their actions.
Like, if you don't, if you, like, aren't't making them do things then it'll decide things for them to do
on their own you can only like operate one sim at a time yeah so if you're like focused on one sim
then the other sim will be like oh i'm gonna make pasta and they'll be like burger scholarberg like
you know they talk yeah and then it's like they talk like with such they're so sure about what they're saying but it's
like flugger blogger gnog yeah yeah scooper dangabah yeah i forgot that they didn't speak
in yeah the games we played we played battlefield it was like oh dude yeah they would do like fake
muslim languages really yeah oh my god it was just all sound based oh yeah i i loved uh command
and conquer oh that's one of the best i love those games oh yeah when you get the obelisk
we played battle for middle earth which was like the same idea but with lord of the rings
yeah i could never get into like the the like lord of the rings kind of style yeah are they like are
they like kind of simulation games yeah it's sort's sort of like playing God, that whole thing.
I think MMORPGs.
I had a Nancy Drew computer game.
It was the scariest game.
It was like simulation, like you saw out of her eyes.
And they were in like haunted mansions and like graveyards and stuff. And she was always like solving mysteries, whatever.
graveyards and stuff and she was always like solving mysteries whatever and there was there's one thing you would like you would like put her to bed so you would like touch the clock to put
her to bed and she'd be like oh i'm so tired i'm gonna go to bed and so you would like hit the
clock and you watch her like get in bed and like close your eyes and you're like okay she's sleeping
like what's gonna happen and then she suddenly it's
like you you don't have control anymore it's like it wakes up and it's almost like it's like a video
and there's like a dark cloaked like person standing over her in her bed i'm like that's
horrifying that's so scary yeah and then she like follows the cloaked person out of the hallway
and it's like do you want to follow them or do you want to like go back to bed and of course i was like i want to follow them so she follows it like clicks go back
to bed yeah yeah right nerds huge nerds nerdier than i was for even playing the game in the first
place it was at target and i was like it got half this game um but it was so i was i was like scarred
from that i uh i did something similar to that.
I did like the, you remember when we went virtual reality?
Oh, yeah.
So before we met, I went there one time and they had a final destination one.
Oh.
So like you're just walking through a house in like virtual reality and things would just like pop out at you and like
my brother was watching me and i was like literally had these goggles i look like such a nerd i was
like walking i was like oh oh oh with like the goggles on if you go on dates you know with like
like if he was like her second date yeah and you watch if you watch the other person, it's like so embarrassing. I think it's hilarious, but you realize, like, go ahead.
Well, you had to stop the game before I did because yours wasn't working.
Yeah.
But I didn't know that because I had the headphones on and the mask on
and the harness and stuff, and I thought he was still playing.
And then I, like, this is literally our second date, I think.
Yeah.
And I took it all off, and I was like, whoa. And he was like, how'd you do? And then I like, this is literally our second date, I think. Yeah. And I like took it all off and I was like, whoa.
And he was like, how'd you do?
And I was like, what?
I was just like.
He told me, I was like, where are you guys going on your date?
He's like to virtual reality.
And I was like, that's genius.
And then when other people would ask me where to go for dates,
I go virtual reality.
It is a good date, but it only takes like 15 minutes.
That's true.
But you got the farmer's market right across the street yeah yeah we uh what did we do it is funny watching
people do virtual because they're just yeah my friend tom had me film him like where he's like
doing the john wick game yeah and he like posted it on facebook just three minutes of him dancing
you feel so much cooler than you look oh yeah, yeah. Because you feel like you look like the, like I thought I looked like the hot robot.
You did.
Yeah.
You did.
Aaron, how many people have you killed?
How many people have you killed in a Grand Theft Auto?
How many innocents?
That's a good question.
Probably most of them.
Most of the people.
Wow.
Would you say it's in the thousands?
Oh, yeah.
Me too.
I used to just get up on top of a building and just murder.
It's like the most fun you can have. We used to just play, but my sister was so funny watching her play.
She would just follow the rules of the road.
She would just drive the car as you're supposed to,
and it's actually hard.
It's impossible to not bump into it.
Yeah, and it's kind of like slidey.
The car naturally slides, kind of.
We would just die laughing
because she would just be trying to follow all the rules.
I love that game so much.
It's so genius.
Yeah.
Yeah, Aaron, I could see you going on a rampage.
And I could see you purging, too.
Aaron would be great at the purge i just imagine you like in the gang and the uh warriors that is baseball players yeah the furies
yeah yeah they were cool all right should we get to some questions yeah all right help getting
friends out of scam so normally i uh browse through these first so i have some
idea of what we're reading but this time i mismanaged my time i apologize so this is all
fresh to all of us what's up dudes i'm a big fan of the pod but i would like to stay anonymous
given the sensitivity of the issue i'm confident that your wisdom can guide me through a bit of a
sticky situation so a really good friend of mine has been dating this girl for a while who's nice
and all but she's balls deep in a pyramid scheme that seems to be taking over her life.
It's all she talks about, and she firmly believes she will get rich doing this.
I want to tell my bro that I did some research and found out that her company is a really shady scam where most people lose money, but I'm afraid that they will become defensive and say I'm just hating and turn on me.
I don't want her to get fucked financially by this, but I also don't want to create beef between friends.
We have a lot of mutual friends, so so if shit got tense it would really bring down
our cruise overall stoke levels what will you what would you dudes do hope to hear from you
thanks a lot for your time i've been approached by one of these companies beach body and they do
sound they make it sound very enticing but then when you realize
you're like oh i'm such an idiot why would i have actually believed that they would uh
do anything i think with companies like that honestly depending on what the company is i
mean there's obviously some that are more promising than others it's like if you get in early i think
you can actually make a lot of money because you have to like pyramid scheme have a bunch of people beneath you doing stuff then you don't really have to do anything you can actually make a lot of money because you have to like pyramid scheme, have a bunch of people beneath you doing stuff and you don't really have to
do anything.
You can still make money,
but it's kind of shitty because you're kind of coercing people to be like
below you.
Yeah.
It's not longterm.
I don't think.
If I were you,
I would create a better company for them to invest in.
Yeah.
Like just cause like you got,
you're a cool dude.
You got ideas. Let's put those into action
and then you'll create a more seductive path for them
that's not built on a false premise
or on bad business practices.
And then y'all will make a lot of money together
and everyone will be getting along great.
Be a play on Herbal Life.
Yeah.
Herbal Nation.
That's better than Herbal Life, I think is the name. Herbal. Herbal Creation. Yeah. Herbal nation. That's better than herbal life, I think is the name.
Herbal.
Herbal creation.
Herbal passion.
Herbal balance.
Yeah.
Herbal vortex.
Herbal legend.
Ooh, that's good.
That's a great word. good yeah i mean i don't think i don't but i don't think it would like create much of like
resentment if you told her the truth unless she's like so obsessed with it that she like just doesn't
believe you it is kind of a great point that like if you approach it right and you're just like hey
guys i don't know if you're aware of this but i've heard like if you bring especially if you have
like an article or something and you're like have you guys guys, I don't know if you're aware of this, but I've heard like, if you bring, especially if you have like an article or something and you're like,
have you guys read this article?
Like you don't have to come at them like,
Hey,
you're in a pyramid scheme.
Oh,
you feel for that?
Yeah.
You could just like subtly circle around it and try to make them aware of
certain information in a way that's,
and I'm sure they'll catch on at some point,
but there's a way to do it where they,
if you're slippery enough about it,
they're not going to get directly upset.
Yeah.
They're just going to talk shit when you're not there
and be like,
I hate how he's always questioning our business.
How's it going with losing money?
Yeah.
You don't get it.
All right.
Hey, dudes.
I was curious what you guys do to do
for a little stoke boost throughout the day.
I recently injured my back lifting
and started doing yoga in the mornings
to combat the pain in jabow, boys.
I'm thinking about adding it to the morning routine.
I think I read that wrong.
When I do yoga, like emphasis wise,
when I do yoga, I feel like I just hit the Nas
in Fast and Furious while on 12 pills of Cialis.
What sort of things throughout the day
do you guys do to get you more amped?
Also shout out Brent Von Brock for the fire yoga suggest.
Love the pod, keep on killing it guys
the global stoke has never been higher oh thank you dude what do we do in the morning it gets
jacked yeah or what do you do in your routine what's like a little thing you you might do
during the day just to give yourself a stoke boost lately i've been watching clips of cliff
cliff booth from once upon a Time in Hollywood.
I'm like, he's so cool, man.
That's like, I'm going to be like that.
That's what I think.
That's great.
Like, I'm trying to think of things I do when I'm not working.
When I'm working, I just like drink coffee
and like look at memes occasionally.
Memes like really get me through the day.
Really.
I don't know know morning routines are big
for me they help me a lot drinking coffee and watching good morning america is my number one
like favorite thing to do in the morning yeah yeah watching funny little videos is always great
just something stupid that's like kind of mindless that can just give you a little pep like oh
everything's fun yeah and then sometimes i watch more serious clips that like deeply inspire me like the ending of
six feet under which huge spoiler alert guys it just goes it shows every character's death
basically and then you're like all right now i know what life is all about let's get into it
well i've been watching that's probably not a daily thing i won't since you're talking about
christopher hitchens i've been watching him oh he'll get you fired and he gets you fired up in like a weird way he's so ballsy
yeah i think have you watched any of this stuff he's like he's like this intellectual but the way
he just fires back at people you're just like i need to like study vocab and they would bring him
on like he's very anti-religious and they'd bring him on tv after like jerry falwell died this big
like televangelist and they're like christopher do you feel bad TV after Jerry Falwell died, this big televangelist. And they're like, Christopher, do you feel bad that Jerry Falwell died?
He's like, I don't feel bad at all.
In fact, I'm very happy that he is dead.
It's a pity there's no hell for him to go to.
Yeah, I wish there was a hell for him to go to,
for all the people that he has deceived.
I don't want to hear about this tiny little charlatan.
And yeah, he's really witty and just fucking does not give a fuck.
I also, I love to drink coffee and do a workout.
I do love watching clips from movies that just get me pumped.
And yeah, and then just stand in the sun and just absorb.
Get that shot of vitamin D.
Yeah.
Good morning, America.
That was fun.
Yeah.
It just gets me in a good mood.
Yeah.
Uh, before I start, I just want to say huge fan and sup Aaron.
You're a legend.
Okay.
So I'll start off by saying I played college baseball for four years and just graduated in May. I've always worked out and I am
in good shape, but having saying that I'm a lover and not a fighter. The issue is every time I go to
the bars with my best friend who, when drinks get super aggro, he always wants to fight someone.
The issue isn't that isn't with that. Cause I would always jump in if it came to fists. Of course,
the issue is I've never gotten in a fight and don't know how it would go as I if it would go as I think if I get clocked it'll be a
tough one to swallow my mind is always super chill sometimes more chill than the GFF likes but it is
what it is I also think if I was in the position I could really fuck someone up so I just don't
know how to go about it if I had to hop in with my boy if the time came let me know your thoughts y'all keep me stoked so he's asking if he should start fighting more yeah i think is that what he's asking right
i think he just more wants like some uh explanation for how he should feel about all this or some
context for how he should feel about this stuff. Caroline, how would you feel if I started fighting more?
I don't know.
I can't imagine that.
You already fight so much.
Yeah.
I throw down.
You mean like what if you upped it?
So it would be exhausting for you?
It would be exhausting.
To watch me win so many fights?
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
That makes sense.
But I don't want to dampen my primal nature
i think i think it's just i think it's just right yeah thanks i don't know i don't know
my ex-girlfriend actually broke up with me because i was getting into too many really
yeah we just go out drinking and then i'd smash a beer bottle slit some guy's throat
yeah and at first it was cool and then
after a while she was like well that's how you hooked her yeah that's the thing that's why she
liked me yeah she saw me kill a couple guys at a bar one time i didn't even know she was there
yeah i was just killing for the kill yeah and then i was like oh what's up hottie and then um
and then her brother was there and i thought he was another one of the bad guys and i almost slit
his throat you know but just ended up gashing his arm a bit.
Well, that's actually how we met.
People think it was because I helped her move,
but right before that, I, like, beat the shit out of some, like, gang on her street.
And then I finished them off.
You texted me during the fight.
Yeah, I was like, I'm about to film a Daily Motivate.
Yeah.
And, yeah, you kind of got involved.
Yeah. I don't know if we should talk about it well you had boots on yeah you stepped on this dude's face and you broke his
face yeah the whole thing chad texted me he's like dude i think i met the one i'm like how do
you know he's like dude her front ball kick is incredible dude yeah thank you yeah i mean you
had that like right hook and you just like took out this dude i was like let's get pokey but still
positive too yeah it's all like it's all in good fun it was like you're saying aya but with like a
smile like aya and then he just can't believe you remember that oh i think about it every night i used to in
karate i'd fuck with people by doing different ayah sounds when i'd punch at him yeah
like a juke they thought i was talking to them yeah they were like what are you saying i was like
wait did you do a lot of karate yeah i did really for how long for like six years maybe
that's such a cool skill to have yeah but you know
what it's so funny like it did make me a little bit better at fighting but then like the toughest
kid in the class no matter how good i got at karate would still fuck yeah like i remember i'd
like i know karate i'm a black belt right and then i'd fight this kid and he would just maul me it's
all because he had like a sadistic older brother yeah i took like a self-defense class one time
but the guy that was we did it
my friend's mom like hired this guy to come to her house and all my like little friends we were
like nine did this self-defense class and he kept making us like actually kick him in the nuts
and we were like we don't want to do this like this feels this sounds like an hbo not right
you make full contact uh i i i think we kind of stuck to like the inner like leg area.
Okay.
We didn't want to kick his nuts.
Look, he's clearly a pervert.
Yeah.
100%.
Yeah, just kick me.
Yeah.
I brought up to my sister like a couple weeks ago.
Honey, how was work?
I had all the kids kick me in the nuts.
Yeah.
I did a lot of good today.
Were some people or some of the students just like
pumped to do it i mean it was all my no it's like all my friends and like my one of my older sisters
and we were just like what the hell what what is this to this dude too if you're really curious
about fighting don't get into a real fight go to a boxing gym or jujitsu and even if you're chill
it can work with your personality because a lot of it's just process so it might it might it might feel good and you might want
to keep doing it and then you'll feel confident without having to prove it word all right um
let's do this what up my name is terry i'm 45
and i just realized that february is spelled with two R's. Is God even real?
Dude, Terry, what up, dude?
Thank you for writing in.
I'm sorry that this revelation has taken a hold of your faith.
You know, the English language is tricky's it's probably the trickiest language
in the whole oeuvre of languages um
and i think the two r's in february that's you should look at that as a test from god
you know he's like i'm gonna throw this'm going to drop this hammer of knowledge on you during what may be your midlife crisis.
Because I want to see how strong your faith is.
So I'd stay strong and, you know, follow your gut.
Yeah, it's not for me to say what's real and what's not.
I think it's up to you.
But I promise you, more revelations are coming, my friend.
Yeah.
This isn't the end.
He's going to be shaken up again
by information like this.
Well, Wednesday is a tricky motherfucker.
Yeah.
I've been saying Tornalini my whole life.
Really?
Only to find out it was Tornalini.
Instead of John Turturro?
How did that affect you?
A lot.
It's one of my favorite foods,
so I order it constantly at restaurants.
Did you lose faith in pasta?
No, I just still say tornellini.
I didn't change it.
Sticking to your guns when it comes to your idiosyncrasies is the move because it's actually cool when you are different.
Yeah.
I used to say salmon instead of salmon which was also one
of the guys arcs on hard knocks this year and strider beat it out of me he's like you're not
unique say salmon say salmon not salmon and i stopped wow yeah yeah and i miss saying salmon
you should say it say it you can say it yeah say Say it again. No, it's like you can't put the feathers back in the pillowcase.
Just say it.
Salmon?
Tornellini.
What's a word I didn't know?
Outfit?
I used to say, I thought the word outfit, you know, like what you're wearing,
was a French word spelled A-L-P-H-E-I-T.
I was like like nice outfit and then my english teacher was like jt you know it's not like a french word like it's
just outfit oh interesting a friend of mine used to think you know goodness gracious sakes alive
that like saying goodness gracious isn't that what it is goodness gracious great balls of fire
i had to dance to that song it was hard he married his 14 year old cousin what no way
he's a wild man oh there's probably a better way to describe what is a good word that you don't know abril abril i thought april was abril abril interesting a b r i l
yeah say it your linguistic curiosity abril are you able to say abril
abril um there's also another word
i thought it was omnipotent yeah it's omnipotent that's a big word so that's not that
bad i don't think so yeah that's one of those ones where no one's confident in how to say yeah
you can almost tell them that they're saying it wrong i say words wrong all the time oh me too
especially lately i've been trying so hard to throw out big words.
Yeah.
I'm fucking up left and right, dude.
Names.
I'm so bad at reading last names.
That strider last night was like one of the guys who we were hanging out with.
He got his name completely wrong.
And the car is like, dude, Warren killed it tonight.
I'm like, who the fuck is Warren?
And I don't want to offend who it was.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But the name was like the farthest from Warren.
Sometimes you just name someone what you think they look like.
I had a friend.
I was just like, your name is Travis, man.
He's like, my name is Mike.
I thought you were Travis for like a year.
It just looks like a Travis.
Yeah. Dude, Warren was. Not a year. It just looks like a Travis. Dude, Warren was...
Not a year.
Warren came in, crushed it.
Aaron, do you have a word that you mangle?
No, I'm good with words.
Oh, dude.
All right, should we do the next one?
Yeah.
What up?
My name is Richard.
My fiance demands we get a hyphen on our last name,
but her last name is Cheese.
So yeah, my name will become Dick Cheese.
She won't budge.
How do I explain to her that she's setting me up
to be roasted for the rest of my life?
Also, I don't want to bring my family shame
when I am called Dick Cheese at my wedding.
I think Dick Cheese is a cool name.
I would just fucking own it. Yeah, 100%. Like I would rename my business Dick Cheese is a cool name. Me too. I would just fucking own it.
Yeah, 100%.
Like I would rename my business Dick Cheese Inc.
I'd change my license plate to Dick Cheese.
Imagine your Christmas card saying like,
happy holidays, love the Dick Cheeses.
Yeah.
Wow.
And now for their first dance,
Mr. and Mrs. Dickrs dick cheese yeah that's beautiful
he could move to wisconsin and then he could you know do like a play on be like
yeah it's because uh you know i'm the king of cheese names his son after him he's like
little dick cheese over there i love you little dick cheese dude he could um
yeah he's gotta to own it.
Yeah, I think every negative is really just an opportunity.
I heard someone say today, like, when they say you're terrible,
they're just doing promotion for you.
So just make an impact, dude.
Everyone's going to remember him.
Why not just flip it the other way and he'd be the cheese dicks?
The cheese dicks.
I like that.
That's good. So his name would be cheese richard wait is dick his last name or his first his name is richard oh his first
people shortened to dick right right so what's his last name i don't know oh well let me see on the
because it would it could be like you know like dick like Dick Smith Cheese. His name's Meyerowitz.
Meyerowitz Cheese?
But you know what?
Dick Meyerowitz.
Dick Cheese Meyerowitz.
Dick Cheese Meyerowitz.
That's so good.
That's an awesome name.
Dick Cheese Meyerowitz.
That sounds good.
That's a Jewish name, and I think the Jewish people always circumcise, too.
Yeah.
It's kind of ironic.
And everyone loves cheese.
What up, Legends of Stoke?
If you two and Strider could weigh in on this,
it would be greatly appreciated.
My girlfriend broke up with me after five years.
Oh, damn, dog.
We both recently graduated college,
different colleges, that is,
and are both pursuing our careers.
The main problem is she works second shift
and I work first shift.
Thus, it is really hard to see each other.
Her reasoning for the breakup is
she needed to find herself
before she could give herself to me. It's been eight months and i still think and dream
about her i love this gal and she has a great possibility of being the one i want her to give
her the time she needs to find herself so i don't want to contact her but then again what if she
thinks i moved on because i haven't made efforts to pursue her need major help do i contact her or
wait it out dude if she wants to get a hold of you she will get a hold of you you just got to live your life dog yeah i can yeah just keep doing your thing he seems like a really nice guy yeah yeah i'd say
get out there yeah don't wait on something right out of college yeah those are the best years and
yeah you can't just sit on your hands you got to be living your life and uh getting new
experiences and finding out what you're good at and what you're not good at and and meeting more
people yeah it's going to be torture if you're just waiting around for a text or something like
that you got to just take action get out there he's still dreaming about her yeah but i'd say
you know go try a new hobby you know know, go do square dancing, go hit up
a saloon and just fucking rip it up.
And yeah, no one's life was ever worse off because they picked up square dancing.
Yeah, that's so true.
What's the dance you can do?
Is it Irish?
Oh, I can't really Irish dance.
I can pretend I can. but you have a dancing background
don't you yeah i dance like i did ballet like my whole life and then i taught dance for three years
have you seen center stage yes i've seen them all we watched step up on her birthday yeah that's a
great that's one of my favorite movies awesome god was awesome. God damn it. It's okay.
Can we do a little revisionist history on Step Up?
Yeah.
I don't think her first boyfriend who ditches Mario is that bad of a guy.
Yeah.
Because it was the label's call.
The label said, we just want you.
No, I agree with you.
I agree with you. But when you look at the movie it's like
i feel like it's all friendship and when i watched that i was like how could he do that
but i agree with you now you're like it's his career he has to do that and i think she was
already fixing to hop over to channing tan and he calls her out for that he's like you've been
thinking about this from day one and i think he he's right. But did he create the tracks?
Did Mario create the tracks with him?
Mario did create the tracks.
But I don't think they wanted the tracks.
I think they wanted to put more new tracks.
Oh, they just wanted him?
Yeah.
I don't remember exactly.
Yeah, I don't think they wanted the songs.
Oh, that makes sense then.
That dance scene in Step Up when they're on the club
and Drew Sidora is like singing the song.
She's on stage singing. And then the guys and the girls are like dancing against each other.
That's one of my favorite dance scenes.
One of my favorite scenes in any movie is when everybody already knows the dance.
You know?
Oh yeah.
They're like, it's how?
Yeah.
But it's so fun.
And then it's already got it worked out.
Right.
That's like how it was with Cupid Shuffle in junior high.
Everyone knew that dance. What was the other one where he's like, it worked out. Right. That's like how it was with Cupid Shuffle in junior high. Everyone knew that dance.
What was the other one where he's like, take it back?
The electric slide.
Electric slide.
Dude, there was this place in Nashville when I was little.
Go up two times.
That would make you do it on roller skates.
Oh, that's awesome.
It was pretty fucked up because everyone would fall.
Yeah, that's hard.
There's like a bunch of
seven-year-olds trying to do the electric slide on roller skates just like eating it yeah take it
back now y'all everyone's like i just pictured the guy in the phone booth yeah music but just
dying laughing oh yeah now slide backwards six times just going down it's like stomp it's like
stomp your feet yeah it's like how what was the one where it's like the break he's like stomp it's like stomp your feet yeah it's like how what was the one where it's like
the break he's like it's something like go wild or something shake it out shake it out was that
what was that real slow or real slow now dance or maybe he's just like saying now dance
is that a it's the same song oh it's like take it back now you know
now dang it's it's cha-cha real slow oh right right that's when you freestyle okay yeah that's
what i've done this i've been around the block the electric slide you know you know
what up stokers my name is julia and i'm in need of help. My two older brothers are out of the house living life and doing college,
but I'm stuck at home with my parents since I'm still in high school.
This sitch has definitely brought my stoke level down.
My parents will offer to go to the movies or something,
but sometimes I don't want to be going out with my parents on a Friday night, you feel?
Otherwise, I'm often left alone in the house with my deaf pug, and it gets pretty lonely.
I don't have my license yet, so I can't drive anywhere either.
Not a dang time.
Do y'all have any tips on what I can do to raise my stoke as well as my parents love the pod and chad's flow
from girls who just want to have fun who just wants to have fun this i'm the youngest and so
i was the last one in the house you were as well yeah and it's weird when your siblings are all
gone away at college and you're like the only one left um i had a lot of fun with my
parents being the last one i think i got really really close with my parents in a way that i
didn't i wouldn't have with my sisters being there but also we kind of like all of my very
best friends would just stay over all the time like school nights and they became like my parents
kids you know it's just we
kind of had this like weird satellite family of like my closest friends because i had a really
hard time with that too because i hate being by myself yeah yeah yeah so you you took advantage
of the time you had with your took advantage of the time i have with my parents then also just
kind of like enmeshed our family with my friends. Just included them in things that my sisters would have been included in
if they had still been living at home.
Yeah.
That's good.
I would say like write down all your dreams that you want to do.
So just think about what's coming because it's all coming.
You're going to get your license and you're going to be out of the house
and you're going to be doing whatever you want.
So just like maybe just take a little vacation to those places ahead of time
and think about how great it's going to be.
I was similar to you.
I got really close to my mom.
I remember one summer we watched Last Samurai a bunch,
and then we had these plastic swords.
We just watched it a couple days ago.
Yeah, we had these plastic samurai swords, and we would just spar.
It's fun.
Yeah, and then my stepdad would come over.
This is when they were dating, and he's like,
you guys just fight with samurai swords?
I'm like, yeah, what up, Jack?
Yeah, that's definitely what the soon-to-be evil stepdad says in the movie.
Yeah, like the stepdad who doesn't get it.
No more sword fighting.
Yeah, he hits his foot on one, and he's like, ah, stupid swords.
You're like, don't throw that away.
You're not Tom cruise what but in the movie the dad always like died to like you
know right yeah they're like everything's been different since dad left on christmas to give me
my toy his car went off a fucking bridge now jack jack's great though what he brought to the equation
is he brought macaroni and cheese but using cheese whiz what i was like dude thank
you so much when new people come into the fold and bring tricks their tricks of the trade yeah
that's an exciting time yeah yeah you can do that you have your you have a way of doing things
if jack presented it to you i think you'd be more is it cheese whiz in addition to other cheese i don't know okay i'm open to whatever i think it's just
cheese whiz okay if jack put if jack put it in his special bowl yeah okay yeah you would look at it
and you'd be like this is the tits i i know like when i go to when i have philly cheesesteaks
and everyone's like you got to put cheese whiz on it.
I'm like,
I'm just going to do provolone.
Yeah.
That's not a real Philly cheesesteak.
I'm like,
I guess I'm not a real cheesesteak eater.
I guess I'm not really from Philadelphia.
Yeah.
I guess I'm not like a real cheesesteak superhero.
Sorry.
All right,
guys,
let's get into our of the weeks.
Chad,
what is your beef of the week?
My beef of the week is with my showerhead.
It's low flow.
And you guys know me.
I like to grip it and rip it.
I like to get after it.
I like to hit the gym hard.
I like to loofah hard.
I like to condition hard.
And the showerhead just does not match up.
I mean, it's like sprinkling water on me and um there's no water pressure and it's just uh you know it it interrupts
my flow and it's bullshit honestly and i'm gonna have a talk with the landlord i'm gonna be like
look you know this is i want to be i want to feel like I did in Vegas when we, in like our shower, it felt like there were like six shower heads and it felt like
I had a bunch of firefighters like hosing me down. I'm like, that's what a shower should be. Yeah.
So that's my beef. And, uh, I just wanted to say to my shower head, work on your flow.
What's your beef of the week
oh my beef of the week i don't have any like recent i guess my beef of like the last year
would be my manager at the restaurant i used to work at in santa monica paul he was just
hands down the worst you know all about. He's the worst person ever.
He's so mean.
Like, yeah, just like talks down to everybody.
He was like super negative.
And it's like every time he was around, like the job wasn't hard.
Every time he's around, you're just like, oh.
His energy was just so low and like just mean.
I don't like him.
No. And I never gave it back to him like i should have i mean when i quit i wasn't i didn't have a smile on my face i was like i'm out like i'm done
but and then on your birthday he like didn't even acknowledge oh yeah we went there on my birthday
and he was just like he just hates everyone he's like one of those people that just like
hates everyone and he thinks he's like so above it all like he has all these like great ideas or like theories about things and you're
just like what are you talking about yeah he was just so mean bottom line he was just like a mean
person he's like a malcontent who thought he deserved better yeah and he would just like he
would walk around and be like everyone who works here here is a loser. Like, blah, blah, blah.
Like, you low life.
Like, whatever.
And I'm just like, what?
Why?
I had a roommate where every time something went bad for him, he'd come home and he'd be like, I'm so pissed.
And I'm like, hey, man, I'm here for you.
And he'd be like, we're all such losers.
Oh, no.
I was like, what?
That's horrible.
All right, see you.
I was like, that's deflection.
And then I would like, let it go.
And then the third time he'd be like, I mean, what are any of us doing?
We're all just losers. I was like, alright, dude,
enough, man. I'm here
for you, but I'm working
pretty hard.
Yeah, he's the
worst. My beef of the week
is with the
just all the noise surrounding the Dave Chappelle special.
I watched it and I
thought it was pretty good, but I just didn't think it was good
as some of the preceding specials. But no one's even talking about the aesthetics of the jokes and
like the joke writing everyone's just talking about like who he's picking on and whether that's
the greatest thing that's ever happened or it's the worst thing that's ever happened it's like
i mean i disagree with him on some stuff i think it's too much but it's like whatever i'm not he's
dave chappelle yeah like there's too much rhetoric around like the words and not about like the formula of everything.
Yeah, and you can tell his intentions were to upset these people.
He's trolling.
And they're like taking the bait.
He's trolling 100%.
Yeah.
And they just don't like the targets that he's trolling anymore.
But it's not like a totally –
but I just don't think his jokes are as good as they were on like his first couple of days yeah they're just like a little he's still hilarious but like
like his opening anthony bourdain joke i howard kramer he's a really funny stand-up i think has
like a kind of better version of it i don't think they copied each other at all yeah just parallel
thinking but yeah i just don't think he was sharpening as much as he did on the other ones
obviously he's great have you watched his first h HBO half-hour? No, is it great? Oh, it's amazing. Have you seen it? It's awesome. He was
96 he was like 24
But it's incredible. He does this thing about how like detectives always find semen on crime scenes
He does this thing about how detectives always find semen on crime scenes.
I have seen this one.
And so he's walking, and the detective walks in the scene,
and he's like, oh, my God.
He licks it.
Semen!
All right, Chad, who is your babe of the week?
My babe of the week is The Wheel in Vegas.
It's The Wheel. babe of the week my babe of the week is the wheel in vegas it's the wheel um the wheel just provides so much fun and uh good vibes and then a little bit of cash that we spent on bottled waters on
sorry environmentalists um we spent on sunflower seeds on the way back and jewel pods although i
don't want to encourage kids to do that. No, we gotta quit.
The stories coming out
are like scary.
Like people with like
lung failure
and all this different stuff.
Oh fuck.
Yeah, so none of that.
We didn't get jewel pods.
There was none of that.
Every drug when it breaks
on the scene,
it's like there's no problems
with it.
And then sooner or later
it catches up to all of them.
None of them are good for us.
No, it's not good.
Scary stuff.
But the wheel did not is not
to blame here the wheel just provided good times and fun and uh i just want to say what up wheel
you're a fucking babe and you spin well and i can tell you've got good bearings and you're well lubed
nice carolyn who's your babe of the week my babe of the week my babe of the week is rosie my dog
she's always my babe of the week i'm like i have an unhealthy obsession with her she's like my best
friend and she we just get each other and we just have this connection that is everything to me and
she's been at my parents this week i'm gonna going to go pick her up this weekend. But yeah, she just makes me so happy.
She's the best.
I've had her for like two and a half years.
That's cute.
You know when you have that,
you just like have that one dog in your life
and you're just like, that's my dog like forever.
Like she's going to be my dog forever.
I love her so much.
That's awesome.
My babe of the week is Josh Jacobs from the Oakland Raiders.
He's their first round pick at running back.
And, you know, he's projected to have a good season.
And I was hoping to scout him when he was on Hard Knocks,
but he never appeared on the show,
the reality show that follows around the Oakland Raiders
and the buildup to the season.
He's not on the show at all, even though he's their first-round pick.
Typically, those guys are high profile.
They get a lot of camera time.
Turns out Josh Jacobs intentionally avoided the camera
to stay focused on the game, I guess. And I wouldn't be like that. If I was there, out Josh Jacobs intentionally avoided the camera to stay focused
on the game, I guess. And I wouldn't be like that. If I was there, I'd be all about the camera. I'd
be more AB than Josh Jacobs, but I like that move. And so typically hard knocks makes people
draft guys too highly in their fantasy drafts because they saw him on TV. So they're like,
oh, I want that guy. I think he's going to be good. I think this guy's getting the same boost
for not being on the TV show because we all like where his head's at. He's focused on the game even above entertainment, which is rare. So lots of love
for you, Josh Jacobs. I hope you have a good season. Chad, who is your legend of the week?
My legend is Jenny P. She accepted our $20 sandwich. Oh, yeah. Jenny P uh she hooked it up fat gave us a nice two-bedroom suite with the proper
shower that gives you the right kind of flow that the right amount of pressure that really you know
that like it was pretty much like microdermabrasion vacation pressure yeah i was like i have a whole new layer of skin but i
still maintain my tan and um she was really chill about it didn't even say like you know ask us to
say thank you you know she was just like didn't even say anything she was just like here's your
room i'm bumping you guys up because you dropped the 40 for us and you guys seem cool dude i got
a freakish twilight zone episode where you finally get the shower head you want but the guy who makes the deal with you says you have to shower and only that shower and you agree to it
because the water pressure is so good but every time you do it washes away your tan that's dark
people think tanning is so easy it's like a lot of things can get in the way it's hard work
we've been working hard at it we found a baseball field yeah we laid out a baseball field yeah good you gotta i got a
wedding tomorrow i'm tanning beforehand oh yeah booth or uh real no i'm gonna get the real stuff
where you going i haven't done a booth in a while so the wedding's in dana point i think i'm just
gonna tan up here and then drive down with the tan yeah yeah that's the plan yeah you don't want
all that pressure in the drive before right yeah like Get there in time. Yeah. I think peak sun time is like 11 in the morning.
Yeah.
That's a great time to be tanning.
Yeah.
My legends.
Well, there's technically two.
They're my sisters.
They're the best.
One is a nurse, Emily.
They're both older than me.
The one is a speech pathologist.
She's 29.
And they're just like smart and their jobs require
so much patience and like brains they're both just really smart and really patient
and they're the best they're my best friends they don't live in california which is the worst thing
but yeah my legend of the week is Ari.
Yeah.
Our buddy Ari.
He did the standup show with us last night.
Ari Maness, guys, he's a standup, look him up.
He's just a really great performer and a provocateur
and just a lot of fun to hang out with.
Funny, funny, funny.
All right, Chad, what is your quote of the week?
My quote of the week is from Ferris Bueller.
Ferris Bueller's Day Off when Cameron says to Ferris,
I'm dying.
And Ferris goes, you're not dying.
You just can't think of anything good to do.
I forgot my quote of the week.
Oh, you did?
Or JT can go and you can think.
JT, you go. All right, my quote of the week. Oh, you did? Or JT can go and you can think. JT, you go.
All right, my quote of the week is from the movie Good Will Hunting.
So Sean has finally gotten under Will's skin
by saying that he might have all the theories in the world in his head,
but he doesn't have any real-life experience.
So then they start talking about this gal that Will's dating,
played by Minnie Driver.
I think they date in real life too.
And then so Sean's like, so call her up, Romeo.
And Will goes, why?
So I can realize she's not that smart and she's fucking boring?
You know, I mean, this girl is like fucking perfect right now.
I don't want to ruin that.
And then Sean goes, maybe you're perfect right now.
Maybe you don't want to ruin that.
That's good.
I guess I'll just do the quote that's on the top of my head which was
my senior quote in high school and the yearbook was um from napoleon dynamite when he says
are you guys having a killer time and that's it man i think that is really in keeping with
the spirit of the podcast yeah really yeah oh good. That was my senior quote. That's a great quote.
Chad, do you have a line this week for getting after it?
I do.
Yeah.
Let's loofah our taint and strap on our boots.
I love that.
Because that's like we're taking care of ourselves.
We're having fun.
And we're not embarrassed to be taking care of ourselves.
What? Isn't that how you read it wait what which part was confusing the part wait what are you what what is this oh right so like getting
after like when you're ready to party like what are we gonna say instead of saying like let's party
what would you this is like a new phrase for let's party, a replacement phrase. Yeah.
So Chad wrote that.
That was, that was beautiful.
You like that?
Yeah.
I did.
I'm going to have to go last.
Mine is, and I didn't write this, but I think it feels like something I would say when I wanted to rage.
Pain times resistance equals suffering. that's a good one what's up boys pain times resistance equals
suffering let's go then we just fucking beer bongs we helped helped Joe get one.
Do you want to?
Yeah, I would like that.
Dead Poets Society.
Robin Williams. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
This is great.
Bring it back to him.
Yeah, yeah.
I enjoy the collaboration.
Who's on your shirt?
I don't know.
I've had this shirt for like seven years.
I have no idea who this is.
It's a cool shirt.
Looks like Bane.
Yeah, it does.
But this was before Batman.
A nervous Bane.
This was before, what's it called?
It looks like a shaper. Dark Knight Rises. Dark out it looks like what is he wearing i i don't know
if it's like a gas mask or what it is it looks like a he's like a painter or a shaper yeah it
looks like he's about to what about take off your gas mask and breathe in that fresh air oh like a
little post-apocalyptic time to party.
Yeah.
Yeah.
What else?
Let's see.
My pants are really tight.
I want to unbutton your pants.
Let's get some range of motion.
Let's get some range of motion.
That's good.
Let's bust out of these pants.
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
I'm about to Hulk.
Because he always shreds his clothes when he turns into the Hulk.
Let's throw on the gas mask and get dangerous.
Let's reinvent ourselves like Taylor Swift.
Whoa.
Oh, that's good.
Yeah.
Let's get investigated by the irs
yeah let's give the irs something to talk about oh i like that let's get our social
security numbers suspended let's embezzle some good times. Oh, I like that. I like putting a criminal element on,
like just having fun.
Yeah.
Um,
let's sex traffic some beers.
Dude.
Dark.
Yeah,
that one's not going to work.
Whoa.
Put on your gi,
cause we're about to kick this razor into high gear i love that
aaron you got one can we end with you getting one that's a lot of pressure my dog but i have
like so much fucking faith yeah my buddy and i were i don't know what how this came up i can't
remember in text but like he said something about melting cows and And I said, isn't that just cooking?
So my phrase is, let's go melt some cows.
Wow.
Nice.
All right.
Cool.
Guys, that'll be it for episode 90-something of Going Deep with Chad and JT.
Caroline, thank you so much for coming in.
Thanks for having me.
It was so fun. That was awesome.
Thank you.
It was great.
Thanks for opening it up. And I think. It was so fun. That was awesome. Thank you. It was great. Thanks for opening up.
And I think we learned some new things.
It was fun.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And guys, stay stoked.
Write a review.
We love the reviews.
And keep on manscaping.
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You want anything to say?
Boom clap, Stokers.
Later, dudes.
If you need advice
These guys are really nice
And you wanna know
What to do
Where to go
When you need someone to guide you
Just to have the girls beside you
Go and see
Go and see
Let's go deep
Go and see
Cat and Jane Deep Let's go deep, we're going deep, we're driving deep.