Guys: With Bryan Quinby - Guys: Episode 19 - Horror Guys with Eric Peacock, Mike Hale and Chris James

Episode Date: June 20, 2023

Well, hello there all of you ghouls and goblins. This week we delve into the dark world of Horror Guys We looked at some reviews of Miketober movies American Werewolf in London and Sole Survivor Redditors tell us what happens when your partner dosen't like horror and how to deal with your mean mom There are also reviews for some horror collectibles on amazon and we introduce you to the worst guy yet, Count Jackula. I promise you will not like him Find Eric on twitter at https://twitter.com/Soundtracker_ or at https://twitter.com/UweBollocks he hosts The Soundtracker podcast Apple Podcast link and of coursehttps://www.patreon.com/soundtracker Mike Hale (I am his biggest fan)  is on twitter as dogboner and on https://soundcloud.com/ykspod and https://www.patreon.com/yourkickstartersucks Chris is on Guys: A Podcast about Guys and https://www.youtube.com/@NotEvenAShow twitter.com/thecjs and https://www.patreon.com/notevenashow/posts  There are so many more Guys on patreon where you get access to Guys+: a podcast about Guys: A podcast about guys at patreon.com/murderxbryan and check out the sunday night stream on twitch.tv/murderxbryan  

Welcome to Guys, a podcast about guys. Spooky guys this week, right we're talking about horror guys this week uh i have chris here hey hey hello everyone chris here chris the shark uh checking in and hoping for a fin-tastic episode i i am i'm count dr Non-Sesame Street This show Mike Hale is back for the third time Hey Mike What's up boys

We needed you here Because you're a horror guy I am And I found so much good stuff That I think you're really going to like Collectibles stuff And I can't wait for you to see this Hatable guy in the collectibles stuff And Eric Peacock from for you to see this hateable guy in the collectible stuff

and eric peacock from soundtracker is here what's up eric nothing i'm glad i'm glad that there's michael i didn't know you're a horror guy too so when i came in here i was like am i gonna be like the only horror guy i'm gonna like shit on the entire time so i'm glad i'm not alone chris probably is one too i mean i'm a movie guy and so i i wouldn't say horror is my number one genre but i do like horror movies i just was on a horror podcast where we talked about i saw the devil not maybe technically a horror movie a korean movie but very horrific for sure so i do like nasty movies so koreans can't make horror movies oh they can this just isn't necessarily it's not 100 a horror they do make really good horror movies, actually.

Well, I want to start out with I got some reviews. First of all, what I did was, here's something I did. I went to the YKS feed, and I looked for some Mike Tober movies to look at. Because, Mike, every October on YKS, you guys do all these horror movies. Sometimes November. Sometimes it ends up bleeding into November a little bit. Because they're not the most organized. I like Jesu for Arch

this year. That was good. You guys literally had to change the name of it because you couldn't get it together in time. It's because it was time it was time related so we did it on purpose we did it late ah i can see the meeting you guys fuck i don't know man maybe we'll say it's late on purpose

so uh i looked at american werewolf in london which i know to be a very popular horror movie on rotten tomatoes and i'm just gonna read a few reviews this one is a one star oh no that's the wrong thing this one is a two and a half star review of the movie it has some good ideas such as the werewolf is a pretty good idea it has some good ideas such as the tight-lipped locals are mixing up comedy and horror but it's hit and miss a lot of it doesn't quite add up for example uh the local stance david's failure to be arrested two full moons on two consecutive nights the geography of the final scene this is the coolest way to watch a movie i just wanted to say as well where you're just like looking for inconsistencies like wait a second you've accepted that werewolves

exist but you can't get over the two full moons in a row like well come on yeah the story is simplistic the acting is bad the romance awkward. The jokes are strained. The action is almost never scary. And the makeup and effects, though very proficient, are let down by the direction and editing. So stupid. Yeah. I haven't seen this movie before, so I can't really weigh in. It is sometimes you go back and watch older horror movies and i guess

they have to be scary in a different way obviously because there's not like as much realism or whatever but you can definitely get like i watched psycho recently and i was i was scared like there's scary parts in it for sure i read some terrible reviews of psycho yeah but they were on letterbox and i can't tell if people are doing a bit or not on Letterboxd as much as you can on Rotten Tomatoes, because only freaks review stuff on Rotten Tomatoes. That's annoying. You should have to be serious so that we can make fun of you. Thank you.

That's not fair. Here's another three-star review of American Werewolf in London. Okay werewolf movie starring some random people. I mean, they're older actors, so that's why you maybe don't know them. That's every movie, though. Just random people. They're all random people in every movie. Yeah.

I'll forget about this movie, and T-Minus already forgot about it. So, didn't make an impression on that guy. I'll forget about this movie and T-minus already forgot about it. So didn't make an impression on that guy. I don't know. The thing I've learned about horror guys so far is there are a lot of them that are like, okay, this is so not realistic. Or this isn't really scary. And it's like you sit and watch movies all day where people are getting killed. How could anything be scary to you? Yeah, if you get into it, you get to a certain level where, yeah, it must be very difficult for you to get scared.

I wonder what like a true horror guy goes to for his for his fright. We got some stuff. We got some stuff. Also, the last American Werewolf in London review is so great to me. Wow. I remember watching this movie as a little kid and at the time it was supposed to be good special effects, but watching it now it is barely watchable. Yeah. I know that movie is widely known

to have some of the best special effects in it. Yeah. Best world of transformation in any movie probably like it's incredible so and but but it's like but have you guys seen a marvel's movies it's like they got a big thing and it's so big and it's like walking on the whole town and everything it's like they can't really make that out unknown actors in it. They got all you guys. You got Chris in there and fucking Jeremy. Everybody's in. Mike, another movie you guys did was Soul Survivor.

Yeah, I love that movie. Oh, well, I'm sorry that this guy gave it three stars. And he said, I don't want to seem cold in reviewing this movie, but it's rather bland. want to seem cold in reviewing this movie but it's rather bland it's tragic and terrible to see how these tragedies continue to affect people's lives but this is basically a documentary and not very engrossing documentary i hope these people all find peace and let go of their guilt okay can you explain to me the premise of this movie because again i have not i have not seen this movie either it's uh it's a uh a 1984 um horror movie um starring some unknown actors just some randos fucking randos uh this lady survives a plane crash and uh death is haunting her so So she gets into all these.

Well, it's like, it's like that other movie, the final destination. Oh, I see it. That sounds like a great. It's an,

it's an awesome, awesome atmospheric movie. And it's one of my favorite movies. And it's like a documentary. I don't know. In what way is it like a documentary? There don't understand that. Yeah, it's a documentary. Like, in what way is it like a documentary? There's people on film being recorded. That's like the only thing I can think of.

Well, he says, I hope these people all find peace and let go of their guilt. Tragedies are just that, and they can linger, affecting people for the rest of their lives. So did you give that any thought, Mike? All right, I've made a promise to the people uh i found the worst man in the world i think this michael noland for the listeners is charming compared to this guy uh nobody in the room has seen the name or knows the name. Now I'm about to share the screen and I want you to read the name in the video. I love your reaction to this.

Okay. Why isn't it showing the name? This is what's known, Eric. This is what's known as a flub. It's something that Brian specializes in. This one isn't my fault. I don't know what the flub is.

He often says that about them. He often tries to put the blame on something else, sometimes the technology. He keeps shutting up. Okay, let me see if I start the video. Of course not. Of course. And you might wonder to yourself, Eric, likeic like oh i guess they'll probably cut this stuff

out but no this is actually what people like the most this is what they're tuning in for brian has frozen and now brian is crying brian is frozen and i think he left the call and what are we supposed to do now? He's gone now. It was a pretty good freeze there for him, though. Face he was making. Pretty elite. I wonder if this is going to make it into the podcast. God damn it.

Eddie's back, folks. Eddie's back. Yeah. Oh, my God. There's back. Yeah! Oh my god! There it is. It worked. It works. Jesus Christ! No, we can't see it. We can't see the name. We can see the name. It's Count Jackula.

Count Jackula. And the name of the video is Top 10 Sexy Monster Girls. Oh no. I have this feeling about how this is gonna go i got an inkling as well this guy is horny for the this guy's a horny horror guy i'm gonna be honest count jackula's not a bad name separated from the subject matter but jesus christ i i think you'll hate his guy whoa is this the guy yeah oh boy oh he doesn't look good to me he doesn't he's got like long half bleached hair he's got a bunch of eyebrow rings he's wearing like a vest over a white collared shirt uh

dracula what was the wrestling vampire gimmick the brood that's what he looks like he looks like he looks like a raven or something from ecw and he's sitting in some big classic chair reading some book and it's got really sort of like dark lighting oh yeah he also drinks red wine which i think is supposed to be like blood. Of course. What do you think? What do you mean you think? I think it's supposed to symbolize blood. Get your head out of your ass. Of course it's blood. You Dracula dummy.

So beautiful. Oh, hello there, Fright Night. Oh, he pretended like he didn't know we were here. I hate the goatee. Oh, that's a goatee. I thought it was a shadow. He's got a long pointed goatee. I hate it so much.

He looks kind of like if Scott Ian from Anthrax couldn't actually grow facial hair. He does have big time wrestler vibes. He definitely looks like a wrestling character for sure. He'd have been better off in wrestling, I think, than when you see his gimmick here. It's your old pal, Count Dracula from the planet Dracula, where horror is life. And tonight, I have a question for you have you ever noticed how attracted we are to monsters no no i've never actually noticed that i can't stop looking at the goatee like it points straight out when he talks yeah oh yeah it's like a video game where they haven't rendered it properly like where when he talks oh yeah it's like a video game where they haven't

rendered it properly like where it's like you know it's attached to his i just saw it recently i think on the golem video game on go off kings where they were playing it and the guy's facial hair was like moving in a weird way i mean it's gel right he gelled it like that so that when he talks it doesn't have any like give wait this guy's popular i'm looking at the numbers this guy's popular yes yeah i mean we don't generally pick on yeah we don't generally pick on but this is about the number of subscribers michael noland has too how many about 19 000 okay thank god i still have more than him well hopefully we'll we'll up his numbers because you know once this guy shows up everybody's gonna start watching all of his videos

to tell us all the nasty things he said and i don't mean in a nice platonic sense i mean sensually let's not beat off around the bush here there's something about the monsters is he gonna keep doing that yes i hope so his first example that he's horny for is the porcupine girl and nightbreed which is like a really funny one to be like here's here's who i jack off to oh my goodness wait till you see some of i'll we'll go a little more into the intro and then we'll start we'll do a few other things but here arouses something inside of us give something the right curve so the so he got the video games and avatar now we're showing avatar woman like that's not a horror first off but also so monsters i guess some of them are just

showing like a naked lady in a horror movie though that i understand like there is a a definitely horny element to a lot of especially older horror movies you know where there was like a lot of like almost exploitation like sort of this like really sexy ladies naked getting attacked or whatever but he's talking about jacking off to the actual monsters, to be clear. Yeah, and let me just say this. I personally find naked women attractive.

Jack offable, yeah. Yeah, I could jack off to a lot of naked women. There's something about a naked woman that just makes you want to jack off. When I see the breasts and the pussy in the ass, I just get horny. That might be crazy, but legs. I like legs and pussy so much.

Red lips, and we're drawn to it. Unable to erase it from our minds. This just seems like a him seeking. Yeah, I know. He's putting it on everybody. But this is his kink thing or his sort of thing. And he's like, you know how we all fucking look at monsters and get horny. You look at monsters, Mike?

We all have a desire to get our heads eaten by Melina from Mortal Kombat. Eric, quick question. You're a horror guy. Do you jack off to Melina from Mortal Kombat? No, I only, I jack off to Jason Voorhees. I'm way different. I'm a whole other level than this guy. Very cool.

Attach words like pornography to the genre. For example, in the 1970s and 80s, John Carpenter was referred to as a pornographer of violence. And of course, we have an entire subgenre that has been given the somewhat disparaging name of torture porn. And in a way, they're right. Ew. There is something pornographic about horror. It's undeniable attraction. It's focused on physical sensation.

Okay. The reason nobody's talking is because it's an insanely disturbing video. He's like looking at the wine glass as if it's like a lady's figure. You know, like he's like looking at the wine glass as if it's like a lady's figure You know, like he's like looking at the wine glass as if that is the thing he's horny for Yeah, and also it has a weird, like the video is weird It has like the sort of Old timey grain Yeah, it has the grainy sort of

He's really gone for an aesthetic here Yeah, so we're going to pop back over uh take a look at a few products that i found i've heard mike on yks talk about you know wanting to drop money on uh you guys just went to a horror convention you wanted to drop a bunch of money there right yeah we went to uh there was a sci-fi convention here random uh randomly we didn't we just found out about it and we went over there and uh there was uh it's like a action figure toy convention and stuff a bunch of memorabilia yeah i would have definitely dropped a couple hundo what were you what were you looking for like what was what

caught your eye um they have a bunch of they had a bunch of you know comic stalls and stuff and uh i was looking at uh you know the old ec comics and tales from the crypt and stuff like that and probably would have bought a bunch of them but it was actually a pocket pussy for melina from mortal kombat he said he dropped a couple hundred dollars that cost two hundred dollars he was like don't buy that dude just fuck my ass so i found this we have a we have a pussy at home and his name is my ass we have this uh uh this chucky um toy from mez scale, talking, menacing Chucky figure.

Okay. I shared the screen last time. From the Child's Play films. Yeah. Here, let me see if I can share this with you without it killing the stream. Careful. Because I want you all to see it.

Oh, no. Oh, no. Literally, he's gone. How the fuck did that happen's gone like he keeps leaving it like on it like i get i'm a co-host of the podcast i am here regularly but still he's the host and just to leave the guests on the call i'm gonna get logged out here in one second because i gotta to get the video back up. I can't share stuff. Oh, it works now. So I was reading reviews of this Chucky doll that you guys can't see because StreamYard's glitching on me. And it's $99.99

on Amazon. And Ryan bought it and gave it five stars and he said, it's worth it. This is a great Chucky doll to have as a horror fan. It's not as big, but it's still cool. And it says different phrases. The only con it probably has is that the batteries come dead.

So you have to buy them yourself off the dollar tree or on Amazon. That's cool. That he gives you a couple places that you can get batteries in case you don't know i bought the batteries cheap and it works like a charm overall this chucky's worth the money um so he's pretty happy with it that is kind of fucked up though if what he's saying is true because like it's one thing to come with no batteries but to send it out with batteries that are like already been used seems like really mean corrosion around the the poles you gotta drive to the dollar tree to get new one no just you

can order on amazon as well if you need to yeah you don't have to drive there though uh next review is a three star one and the title is not talking maybe batteries ran out no they didn't run out my friend they came like that i'm afraid to say when it showed up i pressed the button and it didn't say anything so i'm guessing it didn't have any batteries or it just got pressed too many times where the batteries ran out the people in the warehouse the people in the warehouse just like love it so much hey look at this look at this look at this little smart ass hey skeeter hey skeeter you hear this come on we're pressing the buttons again today he said his ass said i'm chucky want to play look at this the box is okay but the top of the box looks like

things have been placed on top of it by things i mean heavy things because the grease on top of it makes the box not as great take the volume down a little bit i do love it so it talks too loud it's too loud as well but also it's like that's that i don't think that's across the board on that box issue i think that might be just on on his you know like it was in the way the way it was stored or something oh for sure uh i like turn the volume down like he's like i'm i'm not trying to bug anybody with the chucky i just want to hear the Chucky talk. This was a three star review because he just shit all over this thing.

Like that's like, it was like everything that he could be mad about. Like it's too loud. The box was creased like three stars. I do love the product. I just don't know how it looks like. I don't like how it looks like heavy items were placed on top of it and sat there for a while. on top of it and sat there for a while. It hasn't affected the product in any way, but it's just kind of annoying to me to think

that my Chucky doll had heavy stuff on it. It's tough. David Mosqueda gave it four stars and the title is It Will Scare the Heck Out of My Son-in-Law. And then the review is It Will Scare the Heck Out of my son-in-law and then the review is it will scare the heck

out of my son-in-law this evil stepfather ass here how old can his son-in-law be because isn't that like he's married to the guys yeah you think at least 18 i mean i would assume at least 18 years old he're scared of chucky dolls yeah exactly married and was scared of chucky doll her husband was scared of chucky dolls i'd be like you gotta leave him i mean he he like yeah it feels like you have to be an older person to even know chucky anyways as well otherwise it would just be mean meaningless to you if you saw although there was a new one right there was a new one people are terrified of a small guy like the saw the saw guy insane chucky is the funniest i think i didn't watch child's play when i was growing up for some reason but i watched the

new one with aubrey plaza i thought it was so fucking good and funny but then i never went back and watched you never seen you never seen the old ones no i haven't i saw bride of chucky because uh call me crazy but uh was it fertility yeah yeah brian was a little bit busy in his childhood to be watching movies. He had other stuff going on, like, what was it? Huffing gas and running around in a field with your friends. Busy. Huffing gasoline. Rereviewed it and says, doesn't talk.

Can't unscrew back to replace batteries. And she said, or he says, specifically wanted a chucky doll that talks and to get one that doesn't is disappointing fair enough my son loves it but keeps saying he can't talk anymore mommy only 10 minutes before it went out the screw is stuck so i can't open and replace the batteries waiting on seller's response so there's a battery problem in that plants uh uh this one says horrible condition i ordered two one for me and one for my mom as a birthday gift they they came in horrible condition looks used the boxes are all messed up and damaged neither of the chuckies actually works

sounds like the batteries died so i had to go out and spend more money on new batteries for both just go to dollar tree yeah so cheap yeah it's like nothing i'm hoping that's the issue and nothing worse i don't have time to test it like i said one is for my mom's birthday so what a great what a great son and maybe we don't know for you know they could be like something that they shared or they watched it when they were younger and it's like her favorite movie or something like that but it does seem like a pretty bad gift for your mom's birthday here's the last review of this i ordered this twice for a gift oh wait i gotta, I got to give you the title of it. Don't expect it to talk.

It says, I ordered this twice for a gift for someone, and both times it came with dead batteries. This is actually kind of a wild, like, are they doing, because how do you even have dead batteries in them? I don't know. you even have dead batteries in them i don't know i i i guess that like they're putting the cheapest batteries in it like they put in your remote control for your tv but if there's but that but that shows up and it works for a while initially at least these people are saying it's showing up and it's not working immediately like that seems like there's something wrong with the batteries

i do have a fear well i was gonna say have you ever gotten something where you take the battery, the battery pack off and it's got like a paper cardboard thing to show you what the battery is supposed to look like? That's what they're getting. They're getting that. These batteries don't work. I put junk batteries in my fucking doll. I could get good batteries. i could get good batteries uh i have a theory that maybe they sat something heavy on the button oh it makes chucky i'll tell you what i would have said that's crazy before i heard somebody else mention it as well i think you might be onto something they're fucking weighing

these things down and it says i ordered this twice for a gift for someone, and both times it came with dead batteries, and the speakers were both shot. The second one I ordered, the foot fell off. It would not go back on. I do not recommend. That's some chunky stuff. Let's check back in with Count Dracula.

Experience the forbidden. We have such sights to show you. Sick, sick sound editing as well. Fantastic. I mean, maybe he's trying to scare him, but it was fair enough. He's like, I'm going to go really low and then I'm going to hit him with a jump scare sound

hit here. With uncovering the body's secrets as a striptease. Except in horror, the striptease. Except in horror, the striptease doesn't stop just because we've hit bare skin. We like to keep going. Whoa.

We like to reveal all of the body's secrets. What's that from? What's that? That's Hellraiser, yeah. Oh, it's Hellraiser. Okay, yeah, because this kind of a cool idea is like, you know,

they're peeling off even more layers in horror, you know, getting you closer to the good stuff, I guess. I don't know. I don't know how to jack off to this. I'm sorry. I can't do it. It looks nasty. It looks all slimy and red, and this this is not not turning me on you guys anybody

feeling anything down there i could do it yeah i was gonna say i i think i could i think i could get one out yeah see these guys are horror guys brian we're not on their level we got a couple of real horror guys over here well let us pull back from the more extreme grand guignol i feel about this haircut i hate everything about him i i have never hated somebody as much as i hate this he has dragging pewter dragon pendant necklace i mean he has like he has black hair shaved like clothes but then he has long hair just on one side and it's dyed blonde i mean i'm sure you guys will see you're gonna post this up yeah can we all agree that he's wearing leather pants we just can't see it yeah oh yeah oh yeah 100 yeah a simpler more Self-evident truth. We find monsters sexy.

Whether we're talking about the silent allure of Bela Lugosi's Count Dracula or the siren's call of the succubus. Okay, the succubus is a video game for people. Yeah, but not very good graphics either. It looks like the metaverse. Yeah. He's beating off in the metaverse. We eroticize our terrors.

Even the monsters you think would be immune to such treatment find their erogenous expressions. Jesus. He posted a sexy Godzilla. It's very sexy. Not bad. Yeah. He's got great titties for a Godzilla. That's for sure.

Not even I get every monster kink, but it just goes to prove my point. Put a lovely set of tits on something and someone, somewhere, is going to want to fuck it which brings us to the subject of our erotic discourse our erotic discourse we're getting to the subject of the erotic discourse now guys erotic for real that's the most sex guy thing you can do to say like i'm about to do something really erotic yeah like you've never heard a normal person say erotic ever ever he really is just taking his own kinks and putting them on everyone else like he's like yeah you know we've like

i don't remember who said it earlier but he is he's like yeah you know uh everyone wants to fuck a godzilla with tits on it like no you want a a godzilla with this on me man one guy never thought about it before even one time no no there's nothing about that that i want uh i did go to the subreddit for horror movies and i'm thinking eric and mike have probably had a problem like this uh so uh okay we're sorry we're switching now switching gears to erectile dysfunction what's going on they don't deserve to be treated that way on this joe um so we're gonna take a look at if it on the subreddit a lot of conversation has to do with like my my girlfriend or partner doesn't like horror how am i how should i deal with that on on the reddit horror thing and you know we all know the obvious answer break up with them yeah watch it without them yeah yeah yeah that could work hey goes uh atlas fox has ever dealt with any anti-horror

types so while take so while talking horror with a co-worker today and another co-worker piped in about it seems like she is not a fan after thinking about the interaction i was wondering if anybody ran into any opposition to your enjoyment of horror for me i haven't had much opposition it's always been a you like or don't like kind of situation and no one has tried or spoken out to me against horror as a whole has anybody done this to you so outpost 7786 says i had a girlfriend who made it very clear it was either her or being able to watch horror movies and potentially write my own horror. Okay, well, maybe she wanted you to, like, take life a bit more seriously.

And also, or maybe, like, get a real job and, like, help support the household. You gotta make some money outpost. Yeah, outpost. We got bills to pay. You're sitting in your room fucking smoking, writing your great script. Writing a book about fucking vampires. Sexy vampires, by the way. I couldn't justify it, not because I couldn't do it.

Sure, if I was really truly in love with someone, I could easily give up the horror genre. But I don't... I could quit any time, man. I could quit any time, man. It's like they asked him to quit doing weed or something like that. He's like, look, I'll quit watching horror movies if somebody hot shows up. Totally.

But I don't think I could truly fall in love with someone who would put such a restriction on me. That's fair. That's fair. If it's the truth of what he's saying, you know, the idea of like something you can't watch horror movies and it's the thing you love, that's probably not a good match. So I would agree with him there. Xeno Chimp replied to this and said, my best friend met a girl in college. He collected Simpsons figures and played video games. She demanded he give it all up, and he did. They got married.

She cheated on him a bunch of times, then divorced him. If they're going to make you give up what you love, they're not worth it. And then... All that time he could have spent collecting figures. Throwing at the party yeah like yeah she cheated on him a bunch of times and then he puts in parentheses at the end that's why i married someone who accepts all my godzilla figures and transformers and then i just think that is good again you do want to find somebody who accepts you for who you are, for like, you know, doesn't make you change up major parts of your life.

Well, the Hill sees you had to reply to this, too. And he said, well, OK, I'm going to say this and you guys are going to laugh and then everybody's going to feel bad for a second. Well, as someone that is single and desperate to find love, if I met the girl of my dreams right now and she asked me to give up the horror genre i'd tell her to f off so yeah super desperate and also like just sort of his you know like f off like fuck off like it just seems like maybe he's got a little bit of women hating in him already you know you can't ask me to give up everything i own movies books games like come on horror is who i am my whole identity if you don't like it it's fine but don't tell me not to like it either that's where the problem comes in you gotta have other stuff no i don't wanna i

don't want to tell him how to live his life but having your whole identity be like an entertainment thing an escape type thing does seem a bit weird well how does that work like does he have like how does how does your whole identity based around i don't get that it's like a horror big horror fan how is your whole identity based around a movie genre or a or a book genre like how does that work like i don't know what do you how does it manifest itself in your daily life like surprised to scare people all the time like he like creeps up behind people and shit like i don't like how does that work eric one thing with the central thesis of this show is that like it's fine if you're several types of guys it's bad if you're one type of guy so like if you're like oh i you know like chris chris brian's a sex guy he loves hot

well brian is a sex guy not me right not just to be clear i am not any of well i'm a few of the guys i'm a bourbon guy now uh not a sex guy though that's kind of the opposite of me but yeah i know what you're saying and you're right about that when you if you're so hyper focused on something listen not to say, I know people have that. It's not necessarily wrong, but it can become dangerous where if it is your entire identity, this just one small little aspect,

it can be a little bit strange. I mean, I, that is Halloween, all Halloween, all year, like somebody that would go to a, and I looked at,

I looked at some of these reviews, somebody that would go to a haunted house. at i looked at some of these reviews somebody that would go to a haunted house because there's one in okay there's a haunted house in columbus that's 365 days a year they they it's not just halloween it's like every day oh brian's house my house is not haunted mike don't say that crap dude watch out man no i feel i'm in danger now now you got me thinking uh but it was 365 days and it was like who goes to a fucking haunted house in december and then i started looking i was like what do they do and in december they do crampus uh i went to that in december i actually went to that haunted house in December.

To answer your question, see, you're touching on, like, I'm a few of the guys you've talked about on this show now. Hot sauce, horror, guys who jack off to monsters. Like, you're really, like, you're getting me right now. He's a sex guy too, everybody. How many Scovilles can you take?

How many Scovilles can you handle? What's your Scoville number? 7 million, 7 seven million seven million oh come on we read nine million nine million that was an extract not a sauce to bear point it is it was an extract but we did read a nine million one and uh they said not only can you use it to keep squirrels off your fence it also tastes good it's multifunction yeah the best thing about hot sauce reviews the best thing about hot sauce reviews is you know it's probably too hot for you but i mean i can handle it yeah it's a two for me it'd be like a 10 for you yeah i've seen that shit wonderful orch said, this is my current girlfriend. If I even so much as put a horror movie or show on, she'll leave the house and return when I'm done.

She absolutely cannot stand anything in the genre. It's a bit disheartening. Wait, did he post a photo of her? No. Oh, I said, this is my current girl. She doesn't want him watching horror. Yeah, yeah. girl no it's she doesn't want him watching horror yeah yeah right like okay i dated a girl for almost four years in my 20s who doesn't like right i'm sorry sorry who who didn't like horror and

like you know how you get around that by being fucking normal like we like you said like i just wouldn't watch them with her unless she you know i'll sit and watch this with you sometimes she would do that it's very easy i don't understand where they're making it seem like there's some sort of like logistics issue with like dating somebody who doesn't like everything that you like it's yeah you can do separate things yeah my my current. Who I live with. We sleep in the same bed. Well, it's just for the purpose of the story, it makes sense to discuss that we live together.

That's all. But I just say, yeah, like, I'll, you know, if I want to watch a horror movie, she just does something else. Or, you know, it's not, it's never become a big issue for us. Yeah. I mean, there is this time when you're like,

I don't know, I would say like 16 to 25 where it's like you had, like I remember like just the thing I would brag about about my girlfriend to people is like she likes Limp Bizkit. She likes Coke. Dude, we're perfect. We're like the same person. It's awesome. Yeah, we decided that our wedding song is going to be bow to the bow oh god i told this story at a pod cast but there's an orgy song called revival and uh it has jonathan davis singing it and i fucking would try to convince my wife all the

time this can be our song what what do you what do you mean what is it oh okay it's a new metal band and it's hard to tell because you're such a sex you know about all this music that i don't even never heard of but i i would sit down and she didn't even like it and i would just be like this is our song this is like ours whatever okay fine it's our song but that's when you're so young it's like you can't like go see movies without but i mean just tell her to leave at least his girlfriend leaves for a while i don't know why it's disheartening if she's leaving and coming back when you're done you know let's check in with count jackula myriad monster girls that are out

there which one is the hottest oh this is one of the guys i do too i fucking hate this guy if you get you guys who are listening just be happy that you don't have to look at his fucking face while he's saying these things because it makes it so much worse which dot tv slash murder x brian every sunday night i'm sure count jackula will show up now that i know how much chris hates him most serious inquiries of our time so i've spared no expense in capturing and torturing earth's best scientists to get to the bottom of which monster girl is the hottest but don't you worry about sexism both male and female scientists were equally tortured and in equal numbers in the end they boiled it down to a few candidates but But ultimately, it had to come down to a personal preference.

Like Earl Godzilla proves, not all things are for all people. And so without further ado, it's time for Count Jackulas! It's so crazy to be named Count Jackula. so crazy to be named count jack it really sounds like it's about beating off like it doesn't sound like anything but a guy that

off but his other videos are like reviews of movies and shit maybe his real name is jack jack yeah is there a chance that he like no because the way he's playing it up clearly like he you know we hate him and everything but he is sort of aware he's trying to be silly and funny in a way so i think the name is probably uh like a beat-off reference well i'll say this as we

record this as as we watch this up in the corner there's a new michael nolan video about uh roger waters coming out he really hates oh okay nobody cares brian these people they don't care about michael nolan okay people people have mentioned i've seen people mention how you'll get distracted by your recommended videos i do that. Top 10 sexy monster girls. This guy's a libertarian, right? Like, no chance. Oh, yeah. Amazing atheist energy.

We are definitely going to get some indications of his politics. I promise you that. Oh, good. Yeah. These are a regular fixture of erotic fantasies, and for good reason. They tend to your physical needs while you're laying in bed. And even if it's just to get your temperature, they touch you in intimate places. Especially the nurses from Silent Hill.

Since they were first introduced to it. So Silent Hill seems to be an extremely popular movie with horror guys uh i or did they is it a game it's a video game that got made into a movie right yeah that movie's incredibly popular with horror guys i saw it all over reddit all like everywhere where i looked they were like oh but you got to get that silent hill type stuff and i'm like i never heard of this fucking thing yeah i haven't heard i mean i've heard of the game i didn't know it was made into a really good movie did they make it like a couple different times i forgot they made a sequel that was really bad the first one's not bad it like

definitely nails the aesthetic of the game oh god, God, I sound like Count Dracula. Let's just... I know sexy other nurses in the first one. Very, very sexy, actually. To us in 1999, the Silent Hill nurses have captured the secret fantasies of the entire gaming generation. No convention, it seems,

would be complete without cosplay of at least one Silent Hill nurse. And who wouldn't want to be one of these bloody beauties with their sensual curves, their lovely legs, and their elegantly disfigured faces?

The Silent Hill nurses. Just lie back, and they'll make sure you feel everything. Number nine. Look at those pretty little eyes, that sleek little physique, and that adorable smile. Now that just melts your heart.

You know what? If playing God produces results that look this good, you gotta do what Cheech Marin says. Fuck it. He's horny for the splice girl that's yeah he is he he is very horny for that he he literally just had cheech say fuck it like he wants to fuck it brian how bad is your main youtube page when you log on with like suggested videos it's probably like the worst thing that's ever existed I might want to introduce you to mine actually

I think it's the worst ever I know mine are mostly like Opie and Bubba and mine are the most like horrible far right yeah mine is just like the worst mine is just like normal shit like uh uh sexy transformations and stuff like that.

So there's like a really low resolution GIF video of a woman transforming into like a car. Oh, wow. Stuff I'm into. I don't know. Hey, that's cool. Yeah, that's fine. That's what Adrian Brody did. Oh, what's that you say?

That's like fucking your own daughter? Y'all like, get that shit out of here. I ain't no Woody Allen. But technically, Dren's only made from Elsa's DNA. So it's closer to fucking your baby mama's mutant clone. Which means it's mutant cock. Hello? Oh, he got a phone call.

It's my offense attorney again. Look at that small phone. Good lord. What is that phone? Is that a fucking Blackberry? I've never seen it. What the fuck kind of voice is he using? Let's see this again. Yeah, you gotta hear what he says here, too.

What he calls the person who called him. Is that an iPod? Yeah, I don't think it's a phone Hello? It's my offense attorney again He tells me whenever something I say is offensive Oh Yeah

The music That is a blackberry longer the preferred nomenclature. Now, the Charles Xavier Foundation can sue us. That is a blackberry. Look, you tell that reverse speciesist Uncle Tom motherfucker that that weak ass shit ain't gonna fly over this humpy bumpy, you tell him that if he wanna get real about race, he gotta tell me what race this chick is. I would've pulled this guy's vest over his head like a hockey player and like fuck man what the fuck is he even on about now this is a photo of rachel dolezal yeah yeah rachel dolezal

but believe me his joke to end this makes me sick why is all catching strays here though that's not fair you know she's done her time he's talking about race okay his offense attorney called got a suspicion mystique has gone off message from the count jackula show we really don't give a shit about what race this chick is the fact is you shouldn't either the only reason you care is because you think you should what you're fucking white people and you're fucking racist so stop stroking your own racist dicks and get off ours yo whoa wait a second what wait why am i being accused of being racist now what did i do what is he talking about racist guy watching that video and then getting to that point and turning it off and just being like oh okay sorry i did not did not realize this was not for

me okay what if i had a terrible realization and broke down in tears right now because i realized i am racist because of this is like my awakening moment because how when is this from brian when was this seven years ago okay so this is when dolazal was still hot and he's still going so we have more well you want to know what's best about dren she's a monster chick that turns into a dude think about it you could fuck her then brag about it to her yo bro your pussy was tight i know man high five dread i thought he was gonna say something cool like you could fuck her and then you could suck her cock he just went the lame road i know that would have been the thing you can and suck her off uh new amazon toy is from uh brand trick or treat studios a nightmare on elm street for the dream master deluxe freddy krueger glove brown um 184 89 99 it does have real metal

uh fingers i i don't know what kind of metal but it it is like a wrap replica and garrett turner says it's okay for what it is i got it i got it for halloween to scare some people here and there but it's in no way a good here and there oh so yeah halloween you're not gonna scare people with that do it in fucking june yeah i had one of these though not this exact one but i will say when i was a kid i had one of these like a freddy krueger glove that i just thought i fucking loved it like i wore it all the time for like months on it was it metal yeah it had like

really flimsy kind of metal like it was cheap maybe it wasn't maybe it was just hard plastic because i was a child but i remember like to me it seemed very real if it doesn't make the noises it seems sort of like pointless to have you know that thing because freddy's my favorite horror guy um my favorite horror people are are are really you know they're they're not uh popular ones it's freddie and jason i'm kind of i'm uh not well known guy kind of go for the deep cuts wow i've seen friday that all the friday the 13th you see when they versed each other I love that movie I'm actually bummed they never made one that's your fucking Superbowl

all my guys are here you mean I don't have to turn the one movie off and turn the other one on I remember seeing that alone because my wife didn't care to see it and then coming home oh fuck her man sorry i don't even want to say that as a joke your wife is so nice but my wife was like um my wife didn't want to go so i went and saw it by myself and then when i got home i remember being like i hope they do another one put michael myers

tell you up the ante just add more guys leather face maybe leather face can run in at some point i like leather face i saw the most recent one of that it was kind of like some sort of a remake of it or whatever that i thought was pretty good i like leatherface as a as an evil villain i read that it's woke yesterday um yeah there are there are people of color in it yeah sounds low to me garrett turner says i got it for halloween to scare some people here and there but it's in no way a good deal for the price of a hundred dollars plus and it's just gonna sit in my closet for years if you work in a gaming store or something you might like it but it's just sitting there it's only out there at night round elm street fans so this is only made for fans he's just sitting there like you get to choose what you do with it here's a five-star review from brad coop uh title is i have small. The pinky doesn't work for me.

What is this? Are you sure this isn't from freaking Donald T? On that note, I love the glove. It is awesome. I have always wanted one since the first Nightmare on Elm Street. I'll be using it for Halloween. I dress up as Freddy Krueger and hand candy out. Thank you for a great product.

I deserve one million stars if there was such a thing. Thanks. So he really wanted to give it a million stars, guys. The next product, before we go back to Count Jackula, is I have to read you the name of this. Because when we get to the reviews you're gonna love it this is from the brand twink t-o-y-n-k and it's child's play chucky wanna play three inch mini snow globe with swirling glitter display piece by horror movie collectible keepsakes okay we're gonna get to the review uh first review is one

star it says the size of an egg this thing is small i just look it up say it say it says how small it is it says three inches and many in the description i did not realize three inches was egg sized i didn't realize three inches was mini um yeah three inches to me actually seems pretty big more than you need in a lot of situations this is too big if it's three inches the next one says do not order this it was so damn small it was a joke and it was a waste of money so they were not a fan of it either and now now sorry to the to you guys know chop play right what's the snow globe eric do you know the snow globe like is it from the movie no no i think it was just they thought it would be like

another way to make money off of a snow globe really oh cool okay next one says do not uh no the next one is just titled size and it says not worth the price now we got a four-star review that says very small very very very small for the price not worth it so that was a four star one instead. But yeah, people really mad at the size of the three inch mini snow globe. I mean, that is very small. What's the point in even making it? And what are you supposed to do with it? But again, it is advertised right there in the name. So it's kind of on them, honestly.

Well, here, check this one out. This is from the Silver Buffalo Store. Nightmare on Elm Street, Freddy, two inch collectible snow globe. That's a whole inch smaller and the first review says uh disappointment the item was extremely disappointing it was very small i'm so embarrassed on how small it is i'm not giving it as a gift we've all been there though where you're like you're embarrassed about how small it is i love it i love that the name is right fucking there

uh yeah well we got uh uh also a leather face from neca n-e-c-a have you guys heard of they make some good stuff over there yeah they made a leather face And here's the review It's four stars What do you mean a leather face Like the mask the doll It's a doll it's an action figure Okay Great but minor flaws

Keep in mind that the odds are Unless you buy a used you'll be getting the re-released version Which includes a Slightly different design to the box uh and alterations to the apron including a new blood splatter design this figure looks amazing in the movie it looked like leatherface's shirt had a pinkish color and that's something about this and something about this figure's max mask looks off and he goes i think it's the narrowness and the color. But overall, I love it, and I'm happy with my purchase.

Highly recommend picking up one of these to any horror movie fans. And then now he's going to give us the cons. The hands are a hard plastic, which makes it difficult to insert the chainsaw. And then he says, I find it easier if you do the left hand first. The next one says the small knife makes no sense. It has a string slash stick coming out of the side, which makes it impossible to hold. And now this is the item I bought was new, but it had white scuffs on the butt and crotch. Thankfully, the apron covers that one.

So and we got one more here for this one by peaceful prepper so you know there's gonna be a normal guy yeah is this guy is like a doomsday prepper he has to be well peaceful one no he's not he's not he's prepping but he's not putting guns and stuff in his preparation kit. Well, he probably has one. Yeah, he has one, but he's only going to use it if he has to. You know? Yeah. What do you think's in his EDC, Chris? Oh, you guys know EDC guys?

Oh, yeah. Everyday carry guys. Yeah. I mean, I'm thinking about, are you an EDC guy? Either of you guys? No. Yes. Very much so.

I kind of am too I have a I have a wallet that folds out uh with like a magnifying glass and all that crazy shit I had the ridge wallet I talked about this on the EDC guys episode I had the ridge wallet and I got it for my birthday and then I looked up or for Christmas from my wife and I looked up how much it was I got it for my birthday. And then I looked up or for Christmas from my wife and I looked up how much it was. I think it was like 65 or $80. And on day two, the 26th of the year, I, I went out to buy something and I realized that I have to take all the cards out and sift through them and put them back in every time. And then there were other times where i'd reach in my pocket and there are no cards in it because they all fell out it's really one of the worst designs

i've ever is is the ridge wallet the one that protects you from getting your information stolen it's metal yeah that's what that's what that's the whole design of it is like that people can't use like a scanner to steal your credit card information. But that's so funny, Brian, that your cards just fall out of it so that people can do that. They just have to walk closely behind you instead of scanning it. Well, the Peaceful Preppers has a nice action figure, but it is a great figure, except for the blood on the apron is not even close to the picture it looks painted on not sprayed as in this pic the rest of it is outstanding i may send it back due to poor blood work on the apron

neck normally does a great job but this needs some rework again the rest of it's great and really good likeness in every other aspect. Well, it would be embarrassing if your friends come over and they see it and they're just like, that blood splatter is fucking not consistent with what I saw in the film. Those white marks on the crotch are supposed to be there? Oh, hey, cool action figure. Did you pay extra for those white marks? Are you rubbing that on your dick, sir? Yeah. Do you have to put

the chainsaw in his left hand to get it in first? Just roasting this shit. The nerdiest guys in the world roasting. Being just mad as hell, Adam. What's Cowjacula up to? Never let it be said that the Cowjacula show is not the perfect example of enlightened

gender fluid acceptance all right number eight of all the classic movie monsters such as vampires and werewolves ones you would never describe as sexy would be zombies unless of course you're talking about our number eight girl julie from return of the living dead three more than any other girl on this list julie is an artist turning her own body into a living canvas a sculpture she's just a beautiful sexy actor who's like has a little bit of makeup on like this one i get yeah i knew this would be on here because this is like uh uh the ultimate like guys horny for a a 90s like movie monster girl person yeah yeah her breasts are out it seems like because they're they're like censoring it so it seems like you can actually see her boobs in the movie. I remember when some left to the imagination, to tell you the truth.

But also those nurses from the first one almost seemed like zombies. The way they moved and stuff. They had a zombie-like quality, too. Can you imagine if that was your girlfriend fucking walking all slow in the mall and shit? Walking all fucked up

behind you in the mall. Hurry the fuck up. I'm embarrassed hanging out with my zombie wife booty in both pain and pleasure showing us a sublime truth that when we can embrace our monstrous side what is dark and beautiful inside can come to the surface. But unfortunately, sublime truth often comes with pain. Poor Julie simply cannot

accept her undead state, making her story ultimately a tragic one, and an example of why we must learn personal acceptance, no matter how aberrant we find ourselves but beyond all that sometimes this guy sounds like he's kind of woke and then but the whole video is how he wants to monsters that doesn't seem well in not a woke way count jackie was not a very woke name you

know what i mean like that it just seems like he's jacking off to these women All of his talk goes out the window When he gets to the bangability score At the end of it She's a freaky goth chick Who doesn't love freaky goth chicks We know you do Wait you

You don't like freaky goth chicks I didn't say that bro Get out. What? Okay. I'm serious. You get out now. I would love to get out.

Yeah. Number seven. I'd love to see this guy's house. I'll bet it looks like one of the Mike's porno guy's house. I could guarantee it. Cat women are longstanding, but often overlooked creatures in the pantheon of monsterhood, vastly overshadowed by their lupine counterparts.

However, while the werewolf represents man's bestial nature, the Catwoman is the tale of a woman overtaken by latent sexual urges. Oh, wait. She represents not the... A Catwoman? we're supposed to understand that about a cat woman that i don't know i i actually am not totally sure i got cats are inherently sexy yeah it sounds like that's kind of what he's saying that he's like kind of turned on by cats and also i didn't know that there are a lot of like i just know cat woman

from the batman films i didn't know this was are a lot of like i just know cat woman from the batman film i didn't know this was like a regular thing in horror movies is it there's a famous movie called cat people that i know about yeah yeah see how the horror guys just respected me there yeah very nice i felt very respected uh i'm gonna read a couple more of these reddit things uh my mother is constantly on my ass about horror stuff he wants me to get a job fucking move out and i want to watch every horror movie i'm collecting vhs now uh which by the way the intersection when when we do vhs guys the intersection of horror guys and vhs guys yeah i mean that's me

just talk about my film every time i hear you i'm like where's he getting these vcrs and stuff i actually know a guy that collected a lot of vhs and it's really fun but he was more into like getting like less horror movies and more just people's like home movies yeah they made so you can look at the commercials mike i get it i just picked up the hitcher on vhs at my uh the original hitcher obviously at the record store in town as soon as i saw it i was like I don't even have a VCR right now. My VCR died, but I'll get one at some point.

Have you guys ever heard of freaking Blu-rays? Never heard of it. That's what people watch on now is the Blu-ray technology. There's a thing called VOD. That stands for video on demand. There's this website called Plex, where I know Mike has a ton of horror movies because

i'm on your place and it's it's horror movies and 90 day fiance that's pretty much it yeah that's mike i like to collect movies more than i like to watch them so it's like i'll just download stuff yeah i've never heard of before i'm like that looks good and then just never never watch it again yeah i i was listening to yks one time god how often you fucking listen to that show i love it i was listening to it one time and and you were talking about movies that you watched that were like actually not released it was like uh uh that stuff that you found like short films that people made and i was like i don't know how he's sitting and watching that that's yeah crazy to me there's uh just movies that were never released on like blu-ray that only had like a dvd release so i'm like hunting them down and stuff like that just rare films um that i think don't look interesting that i'll never again never watch so but if someone looks at your plex they'll be impressed damn this guy loves fucking movies

i am i'm very impressed by his plex i'm like he's never watched any of never seen a movie he doesn't even familiar with like how they work he's made it all the way through 90 day fiance and all of his spin-offsn't seen all the horror movies. Because my mother's constantly on my ass about horror stuff. She's convinced that there has to be something wrong with me. Like, she'll be like, what did you do on your weekend? And I'll be like, watching scary movies. Like, always.

And she's like, I wish you would stop surrounding yourself with all that demonic stuff. And then he goes, just to clarify, I'm not a child living at home with my oppressive mom i'm a 40 plus year old doctor but first of all i don't believe the doctor part and she just continues to bug me about this because she's crazy i don't need to hang in there it gets better sentiment so uh he wasn't interested in people even telling him you know um so this guy is gonna kill his mom yeah and so i wanted to ask you guys because this i couldn't get a lot of good posts about it but i wanted to ask eric and mike like what do you guys think of elevated horror because it seems like a hot button issue with the horror guy.

Okay. My whole thing is this with elevated horror. I've said this before. I hate when they assign weird names to genres because it's like chill wave. Look at the chill wave is a genre of music. Chill wave on its surface level was not bad music, but everybody got so mad at that stupid fucking name. And I think that's the deal with elevated horror what what what is elevated horror for dumb people like me movies about like it's it's stuff like hereditary or midsummer or gotcha um movies about trauma

that are filtered through horror which is what was afraid but was afraid would be would be that you watch that i did watch bo is afraid i posted but i took mushrooms because joaquin phoenix said don't take mushrooms and go watch bo is afraid i posted but i took mushrooms because joaquin phoenix said don't take mushrooms and go watch this movie and i thought he was doing i thought he was legitimately doing reverse psychology like you know he can't say it publicly so i took a bunch of mushrooms and i went and watched it and it was the most it was so fucking scary it's like about somebody having a panic attack for three full hours and it was the worst experience ever but also kind of fun yeah short answers i think it's fine i think if it didn't have a dumb name i don't think i need

to see another movie about here's like this person's trauma but like i'd be lying if i said there weren't parts in elevated horror that work well so i'm fine with it i just don't like the name that's my opinion that's my hot take fuck the name elevated horror but it's fine as a genre it seems like mike would hate it now and and i'm going to tell you why because it's kind of an intelligent thing for people oh okay that's one of them that's one of the more insulting things well i'm kind of a dumb guy that's what he's saying now there's too. I think that's what he's saying. Now there's some like elevator horror stuff I do not like, but there's some that I do like like it follows I guess if you classify that as that's classified. That's classified that no not classified.

That's classified as well. And one more you're also you're by the way you're thinking of Jesse with the dumb guy movies. He Jesse's the one who likes all the real dumb guy movies horror movies are mostly dumb guys yeah i mean i think like 99 of them are dumb guy movies and then the ones that are the thing i was seeing was the elevated horror is horror for people that don't like horror to watch and then still feel intelligent. They, that happens a lot with pro wrestling too, as people will assign, like,

actually these stories are very meta and it's really interesting. The kind of stuff they're getting to and stuff like they'll, they'll say that it's like this intelligent thing when it's really a bunch of dumb fucking carnies, like just doing whatever they think can get. Yeah. I mean, in AEW,

it is not in WWE. You gotta stop that. You're going to make me mad. One thing I can't have you talking. You don't know. He's been, you guys won't know, but he's been listening to Jim Cornette, which is like

the worst possible thing to do. I only listened to it. I don't listen to it anymore, but I, I started listening to it and then made Brian really angry. So now I'll bring up Cornette all the time and he hates the AEW, which is what Brian likes. And so I just love those comments because it really does bother. brian likes and so i just love those comments because it really does bother it's so funny because i don't know why i would even get mad about it if because you didn't it's like something

you haven't watched that you're saying sucks and i'm like don't fucking say that man i don't want people hearing this to think that somebody doesn't like it so yeah well when you got like twinkle toes out there as one of your one of your main event guys i mean don't forget about pockets oh yeah pockets sorry this is all real inside oh yeah but somebody listening right now oh he said pockets yeah all right here we go depression of murderous rage but the fear of erotic pleasure but we not going to pick a serious girl for this number. No, I think this time we're going to go with someone a little more fun. Felicia from Darkstalkers.

Hey, not all beautiful monster girls come from live action films. And when it comes to sexy monster girls, anime and manga got that shit on lockdown. You can check off the cartoons, too. He said anime and manga got that shit on lockdown. Yeah, there's a tentacle. He's got some tentacle. For pronouncing it correctly, manga. Respect. The otaku nod to this guy.

This literal sex kitten claws herself to the top of my personal anime sex pile. And it's not rocket surgery, you see why. She's voluptuous, fun-loving, and has those adorable little cat ears. Hey, sometimes a girl doesn't have to be brooding or some complicated metaphor. Because as the great John Waters

once said, sometimes cute and stupid is enough. But of course, with really bad vibes, it's getting bad vibes for me. I'm course, bad vibes. It's getting bad vibes for me. I'm feeling pretty bad vibes. I also don't think that's red wine even. I think that's grape juice and he's full of shit all the way around.

I'm starting to think that's the case now. It should be thicker. Right. Put some cornstarch in there. Who places Felicia on this list is all the Felicia from Darkstalkers cosplay.

Holy shit. Oh! Now he's just Oh yes! God bless you! He's just posting photos of real women wearing these cat costumes and getting outrageously horny on his video.

Eyeballs bulging out like the old wolf in the cartoons. I've never seen somebody get so horny, like zero to horny in like one second. He was like, yeah, sure, it's a cartoon, but check this out that I see. If I was a woman that was a cosplayer and I saw Count Dracula, I would cover up. Yeah. I'd put my robe on. Japan. Number six.

Of the sea. What greater metaphor for the deep unconscious and erotic is there than the ocean? Always erotic is there than the ocean and the greatest metaphor for man's deep yearning to connect with that deeply erotic and feminine place is the mermaid but even with a metaphor so elegant mermaids aren't horrors i genuinely thought this guy was gonna say jack's off to sharks for a second because he's like proved that he can jack up to anything so far we know somebody we know someone who does that his name is david the shark and he's a sales guy from linkedin and he believes he is a shark and that's why i made the reference in the beginning about fintastic that's something he says he's like he uses all this weird and it goes back and

forth between like he believes he's a shark and he's just kind of using a metaphor for it. So I'm sure he jacks off to shark. Actually, I won't play any more Count Dracula before we go, but I think showing Mike and Eric David the shark is pretty fun. Yeah, I'm curious about this

now. Here he goes. You see this mug? Number one teacher, it says. This, my friends, was a gift from my seven-year-old daughter back in 2002. She gave me this because she said I was doing a better job of teaching her than her actual school teacher. I've been sipping java from this chipped, faded mug

for 21 years. So, if you're wondering, by the way, if you're wondering if he speeds up the videos, he does. He speeds up his audio for some strange reason, just to make it seem a little bit more concise. As you notice, do he has a shark behind him? Yeah, I was going to say, he doesn't look concerned at all.

No, but he's a shark. That's like his friend. That's like a friend of his. Somebody knows, yeah. We read him the latest David the Shark post before we get out of here. Yeah, sure. Let's do it. It's not the one where he actually makes reference to him being a shark furry and talks about, like, the medical condition that he's dealing with, is it?

It is not that one. But he is the only person that I follow on LinkedIn because I don't necessarily need LinkedIn. So I come on there every once in a while and just check David the shark. All right. The first one is a comment on a post and he loves commenting on women's posts. Shanae Moret said leaders prepare for the future. Leaders know change is inevitable. Leaders embrace change over ego and they adapt to upskill for the future. Leaders prioritize. So this is just a bunch of shit.

David, the shark. Absolutely. Shani leaders are forced to be reckoned with and they go above and beyond to make a lasting impact. Here are more things. Oh, wait, this is, he's not sharking it up on this. Wait, what? Wait, wait, wait, wait, though. That's a big, I've never seen a post. He's not sharking it up on this. Wait, what? Wait, wait, wait, wait, though.

That's a big. I've never seen a post where he's not sharking it up. Is he starting to have second thoughts? Is he? This is actually kind of scary. Yeah, we got to find one where he's sharking it up. It doesn't have the emojis in it, Chris. And that is.

I wish we could find the original one. We could. Okay. We could find the original one. We could. Okay. We'll read the original one to these guys. Because he's very weird. I think he'll love them. And then we'll get out of here. Hey, do you guys remember when Brian tried to play the video and it kicked him off the call?

I will. I don't know what happened. And I'm furious. You don't even know how much People are gonna love that Like it's all they're gonna talk About it's actually not fair to the rest Of the episode it happened immediately It was so perfect

I mean you know I committed Two weeks ago the biggest flub that you could Ever possibly commit I i left in six minutes of a show that we had to start over i left in all of the intro it's like seven minutes and then it all of a sudden started over and uh it was and we said the same like we said many of the same things in the second intro because we of course believed that brian would be editing out the first intro as was

discussed but he just left the entire thing in there now listeners have the flub cut where they're uploading because i replaced it and so now people have a sound cloud where they can listen to the original yeah somebody made a one to listen to the flub cut so you can hear us embarrassing ourselves well here's david here hi grant david the shark here surfacing for a moment to share some thoughts and surfacing uh i couldn't agree more the mind is like an ocean filled with a current of thoughts and our self-discipline is the compass that helps us navigate it all starts with mastering the art of controlling your thoughts which in turn drives our actions it's kind of like being in the shark world we don't

spoiler alert a lot of things he's noticed are kind of like being in the shark world you guys are thinking like david the shark he must think he's from shark tank no he literally fucking thinks he's a shark actual shark It's kind of like being in the shark world. We don't just swim aimlessly. We have to be disciplined to hunt, to survive and to thrive. The same goes for our thoughts. Let them be your guide, not your anchor. Remember, a shark doesn't swim backward. Keep moving forward, conquering your thoughts and shaping your destiny. Stay focused destiny stay focused stay disciplined and keep riding those ways of success spread shark love david the shark what's what's cracking me up

about this is that this guy looks like one of the cops in my town that's like he literally looks like one of the cops in my town so yeah you don't live in new hampshire do you no i'm in ohio that's where he's from he's from new hampshire which is a, we spoke of libertarians, a big time libertarian state. So he may well be a libertarian as well. Like most of the original Street Fight listeners were hams, hamsters. I almost said hamster from New Hampshire. And they were like anarchist. And I think they got mad at me when we went more socialist.

But that is the Horror Guys episode. It was incredibly fun. Find Eric on Twitter at UWA, U-W-E, bollocks. And Soundtracker is his podcast. I've been on it twice. And it was very good. And Mike is at Dog Boner. He does not post.

But you can hear him on your kickstarter sucks every week like i do as a big fan that's right and chris you know what he does like not even a show and guys podcast i'm on the guys podcast as well and i'll be listening to yks uh twice in the week because i also do the bonus episode I do too nice slam on Brian I listen to the mail episodes this guy listens to the mail this guy

I even listen to the mail bag episodes which are universally agreed upon as not good I think they're fucking fun, man. I love the mail. Mail call. Wait, I think that's the wrong. That's Blue's Clues.

Mail time. This guy is being, he's absolutely being exposed right now. He has never heard an episode. Oh my god. Now everybody's gonna be like, I can't believe you don't listen to one No trust me They'll only be talking about the time when you

Tried to play the video and got kicked off the call I mean every time Mike's on It's like 500 flubs But you're One of the best people to have on In the world one of my favorite people to have on in the world. One of my favorite people to podcast with. But if you'll remember correctly, Mike was there when I couldn't say Yoda. So very hard.

You can get more guys on Patreon dot com slash murder. X Brian for guys. Plus where me and Chris go back and look at old guys that we've covered that uh we've recently looked at some hot sauce reviews uh one of them very funny because the uh line the uh title is just chest pain which is very funny and also sunday nights twitch.tv slash MurderXBrian It's getting put together A little more You know we're really I'm really getting down that tech

So at one point it's going to start being good And we will see you all next week I think it's CrossFit right Yeah we're recording with Joe Mandy I think it's CrossFit we're doing No Yelp No CrossFit, right? Yeah, we're recording with Joe Mandy. I think it's CrossFit we're doing. No. Yelp. No. CrossFit. It's CrossFit. Oh my God. Why am I doing that?

You don't need to tell them. I know. Good night, everybody. We love you. Bye.