Guys: With Bryan Quinby - Guys: Episode 21 - Yelp Guys with Lauren Walker and Chris James

Episode Date: July 4, 2023

Meet Tony K. from Vancouver British Columbia. He is my new obsession and I think you will also love him.  If you don't listen to a lot of my stuff from the Patreon or on Twitch you will have the pleasure of meeting Mancow for the first time Guys+ listeners know Draft M. and we got to know him a bit better Finally, we have a Columbus Guy that exclusively reviews some very weird places Make sure to stick around after the plugs for a bonus Tony K review! Lauren can be found at @notabigjerk on twitter and can be heard on Batting Around You know Chris james but if this is the first episode you have heard you can find him on twitter at The CJS and https://www.youtube.com/notevenashow and https://www.patreon.com/notevenashow/posts For More Guys Content and My miniseries and other stuff you can sub on patreon.com/murderxbryan you can watch twitch.tv/murderxbryan sunday nights and of course I am twitter.com/murderxbryan

Welcome to Guys, a podcast about guys. Chris said I don't sound excited enough, so now I'm trying a new thing. I feel like you maybe went too far in the other direction. I don't want to call you out again, but that felt a little bit fake. Nothing's good enough for you people out there. Well, Chris is here. We got Chris James. Hi, Chris.

Hi, Brian. How are you? And this week for Yelp, guys, we have Lauren Walker, the sandwich person. You've got the sandwich. The spinning sandwiches. We love it. Hey, what's up? Not a lot.

First thing I want to ask both of you. No, Chris, I know the answer. Chris only reviews stuff if it's really good and it's a small business. Do you have Yelp, Lauren, and do you review stuff? I had Yelp years and years ago and I left four or five reviews and I kept trying to make my reviews funny

and that's not the right energy for that website, so I stopped. It's funny. The thing I learned is I made some rules for this episode because I felt like it could easily just be an episode where we read funny Yelp reviews. I think people would have been fine with that. But the rule was anybody that we're reading has done more than 50 reviews.

Like that was kind of that makes them a Yelp guy versus just somebody like we've talked about in the past. You know, watching South Park from time to time does not make you a South Park guy. And that's, I guess, the same thing here. So these people are officially Yelp guys. Like it's a part of their existence and their identity. Yeah. And that was sort of that was kind of the thing that I wanted to do, which honestly, it made the show harder to prep because now you're looking for stuff. But the other thing

we did, well, obviously I want to tell the listeners sometime in this episode, man, cow's going to make his guys debut because man, cow's a Yelp guy. Now, Lauren, do you, are you a fan of, or I shouldn't say a fan. Do you know a man cow? Uh, that's, that's a reference that only really ever comes across when I'm listening to Brian's podcast. Yeah. I think a lot of people are the same way with the grease man and stuff. It's like, I really don't need to know this person. Yeah. Man cow.

It's remarkable to me that man cow is doing Yelp reviews with his like own account, real name, real name and everything like that as a public figure and just out there acting like a Yelp guy. But so I'm, I'm excited. I'm not often excited to a Yelp guy. So I'm excited. I'm not often excited to hear Mancow stuff,

but I'm excited for this. Can I also say that Mancow could have made his name Eric Muller and so many less people would find him on Yelp? It wouldn't be like a... But he, Mancow M, is his name. You think it's like a J.K. Rowling, Robert Dildbright thing

where her other novels couldn't succeed without the J.K. branding on it? cow m is his name you think it's like a it's like a jk rowling robert gilbright thing where like her her other novels couldn't exist succeed without like the jk branding on it well i i think it's more that he wants people to know that it's him like he's he's desperate for any type of attention and so he he wants people he doesn't want any anonymity here he wants you to know this is man cow and he is still out there doing stuff yeah yeah that is his goal i'll read you a man cow right now uh because it is very funny what i did also okay here we go uh i'm trying to find the one okay uh here's man cow reviewing texas christian university, did he go to that university? I don't think so.

He just visited. And this is like the off-the-cuff impressions from visiting the gift shop and seeing a freshman dorm or something. Yeah, see, that's what I'm trying to understand here. In what capacity do you visit the university? I mean, was he giving a talk? I hope not. No. visit the university i mean like was he giving a talk i hope not when we get to the columbus so what i did was i found a person in dc a person in vancouver and a person in columbus too when we get to the columbus guy the stuff he reviews is the craziest shit you've ever here's a man cow review right here um it's for lf juice shop and he says the two delightful ladies

parentheses sarcasm intended oh that's very very cool because he he recognized that in text it's it doesn't come across doesn't translate yeah one star i see yeah he goes that open the store are there half hour late almost every single day would love to tell the owner or talk to a manager but your machine does accept messages and i have a feeling that my many messages about the falsified store hours are not getting passed on to anyone in charge so he's like taxi driver in this place he's there every day checking this out at like the crack of dawn waiting for a half hour plus for a smoothie multiple days a week is there a chance he has the time is there a chance he has the time wrong is there a chance that he is misunderstanding what time they open at because i would not put that past him but yeah the idea of showing up and sort of scrutinizing whether or not they show up on time and then putting, I would like to speak to a

manager in your Yelp review and not sort of realizing how that sounds is pretty awesome. He goes, I have a feeling my many messages about the falsified store hours are not getting passed on to anyone in charge. Every day i see many people over that tedious half hour walk away angry walk away angry so so he's trying to really showcase hey this you're losing business here yeah and did he and he said he's walking like he's committing more than a full hour of every day to this i didn't even think about it to get there to get back he's talking about the half hour wait he sees people show up at the time that's posted on the store, and they're walking away in anger.

So, yeah, he's getting there at the posted time. He shows up right at, like, it's supposed to be open at 7. He shows up at 6.59, turning to 7. And then he sort of just surveys the area and sees what happens. And he's like, oh, okay, so we've got 1, 2 got one two three four so then he can report it on his yelp it's very very cool behavior for a yeah multi-millionaire to be doing with their time well one more man cow here that it's one of my favorites i don't even know if it's for a place called da you bati i don't know it's it's a restaurant. Okay. And he goes, recommended to me by the band Devo. Okay, so that's actually very cool.

That's actually very cool. Yeah, that goes on the restaurant wall. Yeah, just clip the rest of the review out and just recommend it by Devo. Is that like Whip It? Like they did. Is that their song? Yes, they did make Whip It. Wow.

So imagine the guys from Whippet that make the Whippet song. They recommend you a restaurant. Well, I would be sure that it was going to be good at that point. Oh, no. This was the place 20 years ago. Most of the locals scoffed when I said I was going to eat here. They are getting by on their past laurels, quote one woman. Wait a second. This is him. He was something 20 years ago, and he are getting by on their past laurels quote one woman this is him he was

he was something 20 years ago and he's getting by on his this he's he doesn't have the self-awareness to realize this restaurant is him yeah yeah this is it's he's like he's stuck in the shining he's in the sign on the wall one woman at the nearby pharmacy was apoplectic about how horrible it was the food was not horrible but it was just okay in italy that doesn't cut it so this is an italian place he's in italy he loves to review stuff all over the world too so he's like this is this is in italy yes yes why is he why is he in italy i wonder he really does travel weirdly enough like when i know that we saw that peru thing and thought that and a bunch of other people sent me it too and said mancow did his latest episode in peru but we tried to watch it and it was in his basement he was

talking about the time he went to peru so i don't know but i think he really goes to places i know he went to monte carlo too because i have a video saved on my phone of him lying and saying easy he's eating with somebody that's been dead for 20 years that's cool so he goes uh he goes the food the service was friendly and excellent the negatives it was very muggy and it's it's in an area that doesn't weather yeah it's an area that doesn't get much air stifling they can't do anything about the hat i mean i get like what it's in an area that doesn't get much air what does that even mean it's there's it's humid it's like and columbus is the same way, and D.C. is the same way. Like, there's just no wind during the summer.

There's nothing anybody can do about it. Yeah, it's muggy. It's probably like by a body of water or something. Yeah. Yeah. They're not going to put a bunch of dehumidifiers in the restaurant. Yeah, the waiter asked that we tip him separately in cash. What?

Also, they have a cover charge, which added eight euros to our bill. Eight euros? Why? Just because? Eight euros added for no reason at all as a cover charge, and they asked for a tip in cash separately. Either they are diluted or classless. Also, very overpriced in an area that is already expensive this place more so oh and when we walked up parentheses up with reservation made days in advance they asked that we please leave by nine it was 7 30 okay well that's pretty standard at a restaurant i will say like they'll have a

couple years yeah like when when busier restaurants definitely they don't want people just lingering around it's really bad for their business and it's tough to make it as a restaurant so i think that's a pretty standard thing that he's dealing with there he he's also clearly getting identified as an american tourist like they're they're recognizing oh go ahead oran i'm sorry i cut you off there no sorry my monitor just started flipping out and went to a static screen. Let's go to Vancouver. Ah, hey, that's my humble abode. That's where I tread the boards, the stand-up boards and whatnot. I'm not sure if you know that, Lauren, but I am a Vancouver Canadian resident.

Oh, right on. The only person with a worse housing market than me. Oh, let's get into it. Yeah, $2,850 average for a one-bedroom. We just topped the list of the most expensive places to rent in all of Canada by $300 more than Toronto. Yeah, give it up for Vancouver. Unlivable. My new apartment is three bedrooms and a basement and uh it's in one of

the most desirable neighborhoods in columbus and it's 21 2100 a month yeah way less than mine like way less than what i pay for a one bedroom uh apartment in vancouver not even in the most desirable area so yeah it's a real fucking joke around here. Grocery prices are out of control. It has become genuinely unlivable. But, hey, let's hear some of these Yelp reviews. Billy Galaxy? Have you heard of Billy Galaxy? What do you mean, have I heard of him?

Like, you think he's a public figure or something? It's a store. It looks like it's a store to me. Oh, Billy Galaxy. No, I have not heard of that at all. I think it's a comic book store. No, I have not heard of that at all. I think it's a comic book store. No, I have not. I'm not a comic book guy.

Paulo reviews it with one star and says, the girl who claims to be the shop's manager just sits in front of the computer all day and has zero PR skills, which I think is weird. Public relations? That's an odd expectation. I've spent some time in comic book stores there's never been anyone with any kind of pr skill and anyone i've ever been to

no it's kind it's kind of like it's kind of understood that you know they're kind of maybe a little bit rude and in places like they're not rude but like you know you're not going to get that same customer service i think they meant customer service not pr right yeah well comic scene he also reviewed a place called Comic Scene, Chris. I know you probably haven't. So these are all comic books. Like, I don't. It's only two.

Paulo's only two. Okay. And it's one star. And it just says the guy behind the counter is weird. Well, yeah. Yeah. It's a fucking comic book store. Yeah.

Yeah. That's that's. I hope that if I go to a comic book store and I do the only time I ever do is to get sports cards for my dad or something for Father's Day or a birthday. And I expect the person working there to be a little weird. I'm disappointed. They're normal. Absolutely. The skill set he needs is like comprehensive encyclopedic knowledge of swamp thing not like how to talk to

you politely that's not what he's being paid for exactly exactly he's able to tell you between marvel man and mr marvel not anything else our our vancouver guy is tony k he's new he's different guy he reviewed the flying pig okay i know the flying pig i have eaten at the flying pig before which is seven restaurants called the i don't know i don't know which location it's just one of but he goes two stars this is two stars chris okay used to love this place not anymore to be fair i used to go at lunchtime and it was pleasant went for dinner and didn't realize it turns into one of those bars where the rock music is not only played, but played loudly. No, that's not true. I asked the waitress to please change the music or put the volume down and she said she would, but she didn't.

Sorry, you can't appeal to one sense, taste, and do a good job on it but butcher me on another sound oh this guy's insufferable he's bringing like the senses into it like you know he thinks he's being all profound in this review now listen yeah you go to restaurants sometimes and there's some music playing now i've eaten at the flying pig before i have never noticed loud rock music like making it sound like it's some club or something it is not like that it just has music playing no i think this is uh just based on him the the use of the phrase the rock music i suspect this is someone who's like 80 something years old and just had his hearing aid adjusted before going he actually does not look old to me oh he looks relatively young here's here's another maybe he has maybe

the photo is one of those old photos though from a long time ago using a 30 year old headshot yeah yeah well he also reviewed z's grilled cheese oh yeah i've had i've had a z's grilled cheese i think that's a food truck i believe i believe it's a food truck maybe it's maybe it has a storefront now but yeah i've had one of those because he says been there twice and enjoyed the cubana each time it's a three-star review okay been there twice and enjoyed the cubana each time however only three stars instead of five because of the uncomfortable rock music that was playing. Oh, this guy, this guy is fucking haunted by rock and roll. He goes to a restaurant.

He wants jazz or classical, nothing else. Yeah. And honestly, I just, I don't know, man, I don't go like the things he's referring to as rock music.

I feel like it's not what you're thinking you know because i don't know that i go to a lot of places around vancouver here and definitely when i've gone there it's not like heavy rock music it's like top 40 kind of stuff maybe yes i i think he's not hanging out in restaurants where they're playing guar yeah this is no no no it's not heavy like the pretenders yeah yeah totally oh yeah yeah for sure yeah really like talking heads like nothing crazy you know because you wouldn't put that in a restaurant like the flying pig is a nice restaurant just to be clear like it's not super upscale but it's a nice restaurant it wouldn't have heavy music play no when a restaurant owner is going to understand that there are certain kinds of music that are simply unpleasant for certain demographics to hear.

And rock music is one such demo. Particularly hard rock. Just because you, the owner, or you, the employee, like it doesn't mean that the paying customer does. Play something neutral and you won't lose any business. This guy fell through a time portal from 1952 like these are the first times he's been to that weren't segregated yeah yeah what is this it's true he seems to have a total misunderstanding of the world in general i mean and the idea that he would have the audacity to go to somebody at a crowded restaurant like the flying pig and say

can you change the music, please? Like whatever, turn the music down if you're an only guy, but can you change the type of music you're playing is just so entitled. Can we have a little buck with my rib sandwich? Yeah. So he's got other issues too, Tony. It's not just rock and roll music. He also reviewed straight out of Brooklyn, New York City pizza.

Okay, I've had that before. That's just kind of a pizza place. Not a sit-down place. It's just kind of a by-the-slice kind of pizza place. Well, he gave a one star. Uh-oh. And he said, great pizza. Okay, well, hang on a second.

That's the thing you going there for like there's nothing if a place has great pizza there is nothing that could make it a one-star review because there's just not that much involved in ordering the pizza you know what i mean great pizza but one star for their water policy oh no i asked for a cup of tap water with my meal uh no we don't have any cups they said okay i'll take your bottled water but i can't drink cold water but they only had refrigerated water for fuck sakes man are you fucking kidding me what do you mean these guys got sensitive teeth and now it's everyone else's problem like are you kidding me man taste is the only thing this man can experience at a normal level of reception i mean it always feels like that easy he isn't even like even good

at that i mean the water policy and now obviously it, it is a bit weird that they wouldn't give you a cup of water. But there is a weird, like, reusable cup fee thing in Vancouver that has been happening at some points in the past couple of years where, you know, it's like they're getting charged for non-reusable cups and stuff. So some places did stop having cups. So that could be it i guess but yeah i mean come on man water can't drink cold water can't allow noises can't drink cold water he probably walks around with like the the glasses you get after going to the optometrist and getting your eyes dilated he just wears those 24 7 everywhere he goes he goes but so he goes i'll take your bottled water but i can't drink cold water.

But they only had refrigerator water. They offered me the demo bottle, which is displayed outside the fridge. But it was cold, too, which, by the way, like even that was too cold for him. He's like, no, no, I need the water to be like kind of warm a little bit. Like you do not understand how sensitive my teeth are. They cannot take any coldness. I don't mind paying a buck or two for water, but not for cold liquid, which

upsets me stomach. Oh, no, no, no. It's not a tooth thing. It's stomach. Wait, is that even... Maybe I'm ignorant here. I've never in my life heard of the concept of cold water upsetting someone's stomach. That's an incredibly fake thing.

No, that doesn't make any sense. This guy sucks so bad. I'm embarrassed on behalf of my city. He said, and they weren't willing to go to the stock room to get a room temperature bottle. Oh, well. Prior to COVID, they used to have self-serve water on the counter. Hey, charge me 25 cents for a cup i'll be happy to tip you for going to the trouble of filling the cup but please don't force me to drink ice water like i said great don't force me to drink ice water this guy is

fucking so he just has such a hard life he's being forced to drink ice water. Enjoy your slice of pizza. Go home. Have a glass of the water at the perfect temperature for you. Oh, yeah. And honestly, if it's that big of a deal, then just go somewhere else and get that water. Marry the fucking water with you. Bring your own water. Yeah.

Bring your own water. And you could definitely go get water wherever this place is. Does it say the say the location brian no it didn't i i screen capped it because because it's it's like i think this is a downtown place so it's like around all kinds of other businesses and places that you could go and just get yourself some water well i do i do like the idea of a guy carrying around like a 96-ounce double-wall insulated water bottle at exactly body temperature warm all day long. 12 hours of perfectly preserved. Yeah, he has to watch where he goes. If he goes into too cold of an environment, he has to leave his water outside.

So Tony went to Sal y Limon. Oh, Sal y Limon is one of my favorite mexican restaurants they have incredible what they have incredible coconut horchata there that is just so so good um and yeah there's a couple locations now and i used to go here all the time they have just wonderful pulled pork tacos and and tremendously polite. And just one of the best experiences, never had a bad experience there ever. Just a great place. Two stars.

This is the first time I have been to this restaurant. I had the Cubana torta, which was very good. And it wasn't too pricey either at about $11. That's amazing for Cubana torta. First off. And it is. And especially for Vancouver, because

stuff is so expensive here. Sallie Lamont was very, very reasonably priced, definitely. Service was fast, and the servers were pleasant. Okay, so what? Everything is perfect so far. Everything that you would possibly need or want at a restaurant has gone

perfectly. Now let's find out what went wrong. I would have given four stars, but the music was so loud. No, it's not. It is not. This guy, this is what I can say for sure, because I have been to every Sally Lamar location numerous times. This guy is fucking crazy, man. The music is reasonable, and it's not at all loud. It's exactly what you'd expect. Why do restaurants feel the need to have to bombard us with such loud music? I didn't mind the selection.

It was Mexican, and it was pleasant enough. At least it wasn't rock music. I know. That would have been bad. But my head was swimming after only five minutes, it didn't let up look you're going to the trouble to cater to my sense of taste and you're doing his heartbeat again he's this is his fucking line man this is like his big thing that he thought of one day and he was like oh fuck i'm going to incorporate that into my reviews hard he's also like he's one of one you know what i mean he's acting like

you're turning off all of these people but he's the only person i have ever heard claim complain about the water being too cold and the music being too loud sally labelle by the way is like does very well like it's always very busy and people love it and it's not hurting for business at all and he goes on the basis of taste the price and the surroundings i am most amenable to returning so kudos for three of the five senses taste okay so what so touch yeah he doesn't have an issue with the there's an issue a problem with like the tape the textures on the cloth napkins or something. Yeah, or that one's just neutral, I guess.

It doesn't come into play, I suppose. But the big issue is the sound. But hearing? The volume was so loud that it negated the positives you got on the other senses. So he reviews by senses. One star for each. Yeah, that's kind of interesting, I guess. I mean, this one is the first where, like I said, this is a regular place I go.

I just went the other day. What about Famoso Neapolitan Pizzeria? Yeah, these are stuff on commercial drive. That one's close to Sally Lamont, so that's on commercial drive. Yeah, I definitely do know that place. I've only been a couple of times but i definitely know it great pizza place one star went there to have their wonderful meatball sandwich which i had earlier in the week and a draft beer the waitress asked if i wanted to sit outside or in and i responded inside as the only seats available were high chairs i asked if i could to sit outside or in, and I responded inside, as the only seats available were high chairs.

I asked if I could sit at a table in a section that was empty. She responded curtly, nope, that section is closed. I said I don't like sitting in high chairs. He's really short. Short King confirmed. He doesn't like having to dangle his legs around no this is so i hate when people say this shit too because it's like if you a restaurant they have like sections and stuff and it's it's for the server you know so the server doesn't have to go all

over the place and just has that so they'll block off certain say i mean this is just common knowledge anyone who's ever fucking eaten at a restaurant and uh she responded curly nope that section is closed i said i don't like sitting in high chairs hoping she would let me sit in the closed off section a place i had sat in numerous times before when it was closed off oh my god every time okay oh yeah he's a problem i started to leave and reminded her that the section closed off was only 15 feet away from the rest of the seating she didn't stop me and i kept going they don't want to accommodate me i don't want to give them my business so he so he left yeah yeah what's this guy's name again tony k he also went to mensch jewish is this tony Is this Tony Khan? No, it's not.

He would never. Mench Jewish Delicatessen. He gave one star. I've not been here before, but I'm familiar with it. Mench's is very un-Mench-like. It was with great anticipation that I went there. Few places in the city can boast authentic pastrami. And by all appearances, for for example the photos and descriptions

here on yelp menchus has it alas it was not to be arriving i placed my order at the counter for a full pastrami sandwich at 16 yes it is expensive which by the way sandwiches like that are actually 16 yeah and that's very standard around here like prices for stuff are outrageous around here it's hard to make pastrami it's it's a time intensive process and it's yeah and and the sandwiches are usually a lot of meat too even it's like a whole thing 16 is normal here for like yeah for like pastrami and stuff no i think the one i got like like a couple weeks it was like 24 for yeah but if the quality is there worth every cent then the cashier asked me what i wanted to drink and i responded just tap water oh no but replied the cashier we cannot give you tap water because

of liability issues or some such nonsense my alternative presumably the mineral water available from the menu for two dollars no way i don't mind shelling out sixteen dollars for a sandwich as i said assuming the quality is there it's worth it but i refuse to be gouged for an additional two dollars because they won't provide me with tap water chlorine at all i don't mind wait a second wait a second because he told he said before in his review that he didn't mind paying for a bottle of water as long as it wasn't cold that was a dollar i think it's an extra dollar or maybe it's the mineral content he objects to he yeah he doesn't like minerals he feels like that's an upsell that he doesn't need

i mean the minerals upset his tum tum especially if they're cold minerals. He goes, I don't like surprises or sneaky attempts to pad my bill, so I walked out. What? Are you kidding me, dude? You've been waiting to have this sandwich, and you wouldn't even. Are you kidding me, man? Not only will Mench's never get my business, but I will make it my business to spread the word of my experience to my fellow foodies.

Mentions should rename itself gougers. So that's I mean, listen, I'm not a fan of this guy, but that that is a killer line at the end. Gougers, it's such a good playoff of mentions as well. Well, here's the last tony one that i'll read this time there's plenty more tony for guys plus but he reviewed granville station okay so granville station is a sky train station yes so i take this i take this often it's a very it's a big uh sky train station downtown uh right of the downtown core. I just got off the train there. Hey, it's a pretty standard station.

It's a public transit stop. You kind of know what you're getting. I'll say it's... I don't know if he touches on this, but it is very, very far below ground because it's in downtown. You have to go up on these huge escalators.

You have to go... Oh, is that... I got the news You have to go. Oh, is that? I got the news about the escalator. Oh, no. But yeah, it's other than that, it's a very standard stop. You know, Bridget S. Writes of the escalator inducing vertigo vertigo. Well, it certainly does that to me, too.

The reason for it is, I believe, because the tiles on the walls on the side are lined up parallel to the inclination of the escalator barrand has a long escalator as well but its tiles are parallel to the wait wait wait wait wait what did you just call it burned baron b-u-r-r-a-n-d no it's he he made a mistake it's barard barard has a long escalator as well but its tiles are parallel to the ground, not the incline. And you don't get vertigo on that one. At least I don't. The solution is to retile the walls so that the tiles are aligned with ground level and not the incline.

Until that happens, I will continue to keep my eyes closed whenever I'm on that escalator. That's the only way I can prevent the vertigo. I'm on that escalator. That's the only way I can prevent the vertigo. I will say, listen, I don't want to defend Tony, but it does give you a weird sensation going up that escalator. And I do tend to look right down at the escalator as I'm going up. Um, but I don't know that it has to do with the tiles. It's just, it's just a larger, longer, steeper one than Berard by like a long distance, you know? So I think that's all that it is, is that you're just going up a really steep incline. So it is a little bit off-putting.

And my partner doesn't like to go to that station either. Like, we'll go to the next stop so we don't have to go up that huge escalator. So this might be like a Burrard. This is the first time where other people are probably on the same page as him. Yeah, this is the first time that he's not totally on his own with his feelings on something yes so john b is from columbus ohio and he reviews things a little differently than tony k um the first review i have from him is for a shell gas station so okay yeah this feels like this he's an unnecessary reviewer oh for sure okay it's really and this is what you're this is the irritating thing about him it's really just

a plain gas station he gave it two stars the quality is not real clean the value is not real good you just go get your gas and leave nothing real special about it i mean that's set by like you know oil prices and stuff like that you're talking about the value that you get at the gas station i think this guy probably just moved here from like oklahoma and he's been going being going to bucky's his whole life like the real like five-star classy gas stations that's what he's used to yeah bucky's is great yeah he reviewed the city of worthington which is about 10 minutes away from me what do you mean a uh in what way like a business in the city no worthington the city you're you can do that on yelp yeah i've seen

a fair number of reviews like this it's usually people like litigating their yearly like tax payment like the the cost of their taxes and stuff or like the city didn't come out and like rake my leaves when i asked them to come out and rake like stuff like that oh i see yeah like pure pure grievance mongering yeah gotcha it's a place with a lot of old money which it's not it is also a place that is very low on diversity it's kind of old looking city downtown is old looking but there's's kind of old looking city. Downtown is old looking, but there's a lot of old money in Worthington, but not a lot of diversity at all. Wait a second.

I believe they like it that way. So this guy just he said the same exact thing twice. He didn't hate him. Well, he also reviewed Sam's Club. What is Sam's Club? It's like a Costco where they don't pay people as well ah it's owned by walmart yeah it's basically walmart's version of costco you can go buy bulk shit that's not yeah we have costco but we don't have sam's club here in canada you're better it's it's not as good yeah man although you if this is this is my grievance mongering for the episode is that

uh recently uh you know since the pandemic costco got rid of the onion machines, the diced onion machines. Recently, Sam's Club introduced diced onions for their hot dogs to try to seal some of Costco's customer base. That's so smart. Man, I would write that in my review, definitely. Well, John reviewed Sam's Club, and he gave it three stars. smart and i would fucking i would i would write that in my review definitely well john reviewed sam's club and he gave it three stars and he said if you have a business or somewhere where you need to purchase food in bulk sam's is the best but if you don't need bulk you're basically going just to be going you don't really save well no you're probably not well i mean you're

i mean i think you're going because like i mean mean, we used to shop at Costco without a business when I was younger. And we would get like large amounts of certain things, you know, whether it's paper towel or whatever. But like, what do you mean you're going just to be going? No, actually, I did that for a long time. Yeah, I got in the routine of, you know, Sunday morning, I'm going to get in right at 10 when they open at Costco. And I just I had to stop because like, I don't need there's I morning, I'm going to get in right at 10 when they open at Costco. And I had to stop because I don't need... I live by myself. There's not anything I need on a weekly basis.

So you did. You did. You were going just to be going. I was going just to be going. The prices are good here and I should be, but I don't need to be going there. Now, I have a question. You would get there right at opening. They would be open at the right time?

The people who are opening would be opening up at the right time every time costco has their shit together they would never make that kind of rookie mistake what's the temperature of their drinking water perfect it's exactly 77 to 79 they actually have the giant uh machine right at the door of just water bottles that's's another Costco thing that I actually really appreciate. The $1 water bottles. You don't really save any money. I don't like the hassle where they check your receipt when you leave. I feel like I'm trying to get out

of a lockdown facility. I paid for it. I should be able to leave without having to show the receipt. If they don't like that, they should have all the registers open so you have to check out through a cashier. So I can't stand the fact that I have to wait in a long line after I scan my own self out that I didn't get paid for and then show a receipt. So I only go if I'm getting stuff for my company.

I'm getting ready to stop doing that. So he's right about that. They check the receipts. They do that at Costco still, too. But I always found they just don't really check it. That's a jobs program for people who should be retired but can't

afford to be. Yeah, that's a nice thing. That's a living in a society thing. We just have to let those jobs exist. They just kind of look at it quickly, look at it, and then sign it off. That's what I always found at Costco. They would never look real deep at what we had and scrutinize it john also reviewed a sunoco gas station okay is that a horrible place i don't recommend this place at all i wouldn't go

like what i think people go there because they need gas though you know what i mean it's not a matter of they're not like making a decision like hey i gotta go fucking go grab some gas or whatever they're like driving by and they need gas and they get it or they live close and they need gas you would never i would never review a gas station just because the experience it's kind of like going to the bureau of motor vehicles or something like that it's like well you just have to do that you know what i mean you you and he reviewed one of those too don't worry about it but you that's just shit you have to do and the reason it's a shitty experience is because the people that run it know that you have to do it yeah uh he goes i he was like i i won't i wouldn't go here again i would run out of gas before i would go here and walk somewhere else no come on man you

don't you guarantee you would not do that 100 if you're running out of gas and you're close to the gas station you would fill up your car but they don't have the right kind of chips i need the i need the sunoco with the right kind of chips if they don't have the sun chip the harvest cheddar sun chips i'm i'm not there that's not i like the french onion personally there's like a half a percent chance that sunoco even looks at Yelp to see their reviews. You know what I mean? It's a gas station. Why would they do that?

He goes, the quality of service is horrible, and there is a gas station right next to it across the street. The parking lot of this one has a bunch of holes in it, so you can mess up your front end just driving to go get gas so he's pretty mad about that he reviewed walgreens and he just said just a walgreens nothing special at all okay so then yeah maybe don't do a review on it that's five stars yeah maybe just don't even review it well i'll give you two more of uh uh i'll give you two more of his he reviewed pickerington local high school okay again these ones so is this is he a administration there does he have a child there i don't think so he just said school looks like a small college david threestone it's a big school i'll give him that it's it's a big school yeah i did notice in that's

one thing i noticed in america when i would go there like to los angeles or something like that is the high schools are just massive and huge like like nothing i've ever seen in canada listen to mr los angeles over here well i've been a number of times to los angeles i don't know if you've ever been lauren i've been to los ang times to Los Angeles. I don't know if you've ever been. Lauren, have you been to Los Angeles? I have and the schools are actually, the public schools are quite nice in part because they all get used as backdrops for movies and... Yeah.

Yeah, they film a lot of movies. So there's a bunch of famous LA high schools. Yeah. I've been a bunch of times to LA. It's kind of a second home. I'm actually going there again at the end of August. I'm going to go at that time too Just to have gone the same amount of times as Chris Well, you'd have to go about five, six times to catch up

But it's all good I don't mind doing that I'll fucking do it, you wait That was great, yeah John reviewed America's Best Value Inn Now, Chris, you might not know this This is a one-star hotel it's one of those motels that is like 35 a night and you can pay in cash if you add an extra 20 and it's just it's the

nastiest like pay by the hour like pay by the hour not that bad but it's like it's like if you're expecting less from a motel 6. Yeah, it's nasty. Motel 6 kind of upped their game a little bit, right? They did, yeah. They revamped their rooms and they're pretty okay now. Well, John gave it one star. He said, bait and switch. First, they didn't honor the Yelp reward, which I'm not 100% sure what that means,

but he does complain quite a few times about the yelp reward which i did not figure out um and he goes next the room didn't look like the pictures online no oh no shit buddy are you kidding me next you're gonna tell me that the fucking burger at mcdonald's doesn't look like the same as it is in the fucking commercials finally it smelled so bad we had to just leave and find another place the room that smelled the entire hall up had a tower door tower down by the door and the window was open so they tried to place us next to this room never go here bedding have marks on it also blood in the heater no iron no coffee pot horrible okay so this is one of those situations where he should have known that. Like, everybody knows that's what you're getting into when you go to that hotel.

Yeah. Like, okay, blood is pretty bad. I don't want, even for a very cheap motel, I think blood is probably drawing a line somewhere. Blood in the heater. I'm a little sympathetic here. How does the blood get in the heater, I wonder? No, that's best not to know. You don't want to know that. So in Washington, D.C., there's a man named Dan A.

And he reviews quite a bit of stuff, some interesting things. And the first thing he reviewed is Pizza Hut. I'm familiar with that Washington establishment. I don't know where you find Pizza Hut in D.C. You've got to be way out in, like, northeast or something. Dan A. said said one star the person who helped me was not professional or nice he was literally screaming at me not talking extremely unfriendly and aggressive i waited inside the store for a long time and he didn't even give me my pizza he was talking french or whatever

language that was my pizza was really dry and cold when i finally got it i won't come back so he this guy so the way he's sort of this situation as he's painting it is he walks into this fucking pizza hut and this fucking french guy just starts screaming at him in his face and then he sits there waiting for his pizza the guy just doesn't give it to him for a long period of time yeah okay this sounds this sounds like a trip to paris this sounds great yeah i mean i mean i will say like french people maybe do sometimes talk a little bit louder french canadian people definitely but not i don't know i don't know that he's really painting this you know i think he might be lying a little bit or changing around some details here but not, I don't know. I don't know that he's really painting this.

You know, I think he might be lying a little bit or changing around some details here. No, I think people pay 35 euros for this experience around. Well, he did. He is painting it as though he didn't say anything to the guy before the guy started talking loudly, I think would be what I believe. Like, they often do this they leave out the part where the thing they did cause the yeah where they're a weird dick where they've like

asked him three times where's my pizza like it like at like 30 second intervals you yeah like he's just like he walked in and the guy's like you fucking american piece of shit. Like screaming out of a way. Blah, blah. Oh, no, that's not it. It's a flop. Nope. There it is. That's Opie when he just Opie from Opie and

Anthony when he discovered that a beer was from France. That's how my kind of guy. Chipotle Mexican Grill. Oh, I know i know hey i know this establishment as well that's cool i didn't realize i knew so many dc uh eateries he gave it a five star which i like okay okay i don't know i don't know about that no disrespect to the people at chipotle but i have never had a five

star experience at chipotle nor have i expected one you know i've never had a three star experience at chipotle i have been to countless chipotle restaurants and this place is not the best but it's not the worst either uh it's pretty clean and typical as you can find everywhere they will get you in and out fast, which is something I like. Everything he's saying could be written by AI. Yeah. And so he's got every Chipotle in the world. Yeah.

It's not even the best one in his five stars. And he likes them because they're, they're quick. The fast casual restaurant is prompt. I do feel like Yelp guys, the thing we're learning really with this is they don't know how to do a star system no it seems like none of them quite understand that like if you've been to a better one and you've also been to a worse one that is not a five star it's gotta be four four three fouritionally. Or if you go to the pizza place and you order some food

and it tastes really good, but the water is too cold for you, that's not a one-star review. That's a three-star, four-star review because the stuff was really good. Or if you go to a restaurant and you order your sandwich and they're playing loud rock and roll music, that's not a one-star review. That is four. So, I don't know.

I wish they would learn. So, he goes, staff are very hardworking and seem to work together well. Out of them seem friendly and hardworking. Bravo. Okay, now we got Tiger Sugar. I don't know this place. I've never heard of this place. It seems like a bubble tea place in DC.

Two stars. I'm very disappointed. I have been coming to Sugar Tiger regularly. I love the bubble so much. That's such a great way to describe liking bubble tea i love the bubbles so much well i'll tell you this guy would not get along with some of our cask ale friends though brian of course who hate those bubblies they don't want extra bubbles for sure and they i asked them for extra bubbles and they said no they said they can't even add although i was willing to pay extra

by the way this guy wants a cup of bubbles for sure now like the little globs right like the tapioca balls yeah yeah yeah so that's what he's talking about so he just he doesn't even want the liquid he just wants to give to get a cup of those yeah just a bowl just a bowl of mush yes spherized mush yeah he seems like he likes bubbles to me i don't know he goes uh and they said no they said i can't even add extra even though i was already paying extra they refused to add extra bubbles and were showing me the tablets for tips and i was like what you said no to extra bubbles and expect me to tip yeah that's an automatic setting like you turn the thing around that's just what's on the screen they're not lauren it did seem like a lot of um y'all guys don't understand that that no is a default screen i think a lot of people in general don't understand that because i've seen

that complaint quite a bit from all sorts of people who i think just don't spend a lot of time they have not been to a restaurant since COVID maybe. I'm not quite sure how, but it's, it seems like a prolific problem that people just don't understand it. That, that says the tablet system, the swipe card system is kind of built on that screen being the thing you

get before you get the receipt. Yeah. So let's check out Nick M from DC. I'd like to introduce you guys to, he, he reviewed Burger King another class of dc establishment another place i've definitely been to i don't like burger king for fast food i i find it to be really really bad i also don't know where he's finding a burger king in dc there's

there's not very many of them these are all so i'll tell you how i found the dc guys because i've been there a bunch of times um i looked at adams morgan and then scrolled through a place until i find a weird guy and then found him and then went in so be careful when brian says he's been to a place a bunch of times this is maybe like one or two times. Nick M reviewed a Burger King four stars and said, by far one of the coolest Burger King experiences. Oh, I know what Burger King this is. I have to know what Burger King this is. Please continue.

It is one of the few that have not been renovated and preserved of its charm. Also, the Impossible Burger that burger king makes is like actually really good i feel like burger king is very undervalued so disagree and yeah the idea of having an impossible burger from like i i there's nothing i want to eat less than an impossible burger from burger king so there is some context here that I think is worth mentioning. Is there is like a sort of local, locally famous Burger King that is like a shrine to eighties and nineties action movies. Oh,

I don't know why he doesn't mention this in the review. If that's this one. And there actually was a local controversy because the guy who owns it is remodeling it to get rid of all of like the movie memorabilia and posters. But yeah, that is like a local Burger King thing that I had never been to to but it is like a is fairly well known here okay well he also reviewed plnt burger that's plant burger yeah that's a local chain that does so this person

might be this person might be vegetarian oh he is he is he goes so excited to see plant and tyson's he's tyson's corner uh lauren that's where he was i ordered a beyond cheeseburger god i wish i He is. He is. He goes so excited to see Plant and Tyson. He's Tyson's Corner. Lauren, that's where he was. I ordered a Beyond Cheeseburger. God, I wish I remember Mike Tyson's trainer because I could have made a good joke there about Tyson's Corner. It's a city in Washington, D.C.

That would be the funniest thing that's ever happened in Tyson's Corner if you had pulled that off. It's a terrible... I've been there. I've been to Tyson's Corner a bunch of times. It sucks. The fries, honestly... Probably went once. more than once uh the fries honestly outshined everything do not get the chili though if you do not like sweet food i was a little surprised when i tried the chili but to each their own whole foods nick m reviewed gave it two stars and this is where my theory of there are guys this guy is not one because he has more than 50 reviews i'm gonna give him that but when you go to read reviews and you click on one star or two stars and you start reading through

the star ratings of these reviews you start to realize that like a lot of guys just get really fucking mad and review and then never review anything else again they review a thing one star they're furious and they never review anything else again and that to me is the richest i mean like obviously the vancouver guy has a rich story behind him he's great he doesn't like rock and roll he doesn't you know but i like the guys that are like i got so mad i created an account parking lot yeah yeah i made an account just to do this and yeah and it like never became a thing in my life. It was just I had such a moment. It's almost always like the service related to it's almost always like this waitress didn't get my drink right.

Yeah, they made me wait for an hour and they said I would only wait half an hour. And now I'm and now they're going to pay and now they are going to pay. They think that they've got the best of me. Well, we'll see in the end, you know, as I fucking ruin their rating. Now, if I did a review of Whole Foods, I would say say fucking one star they should call it a whole paycheck sure yes they yeah but nick's too and uh remember nick has really given us some five-star reviews for some pretty you know he gave us a five-star review for burger king that's very nice and he goes two stars this is by far one of the best places to visit in dc if you love

horrible customer service oh you had me at the beginning you're like i might fly out there to go to this okay oh no hang on no i don't like horrible service that's not that's not a place for me at all i can guarantee you that's not true yeah plenty of places in dc with worse service that's part of the charm yeah the dc yeah the further south you go the worse the service gets and dc's this weird like in between place uh i do not understand how whole foods market has allowed for this store to be this way for this long the cashiers practically cringe at the sight of a customer and all other staff try to avoid eye contact with anyone this guy might have an off-putting vibe yeah oh i mean like maybe that it's unique to him people are not trying to have eye contact with him and they're like

looking at him and cringing or whatever yeah why are you trying to get icon like make eye contact with the guy who's stocking the shelves yeah What are you shooting for? He's busy. He's doing his job. Yeah. He's a stock. I mean, I used to work at a grocery store, and the stock people aren't really customer service. They'll point you in the direction or something, but they're out there to be putting food on the shelves.

Yeah. He goes, Whole Foods needs to straighten up. Not going to keep paying $7 kombucha when your staff lacks basic customer skills. Other than staff, it's a decent Whole Foods. Don't pay $7 for kombucha either way. I know. It's not that hard to make. Yeah.

And you can go to Aldi and get it pretty cheap. Nick reviewed Milk Bar, which is a place that I have heard of. And actually, they have cookies now all over the country it's like uh one of the grocery stores now yeah ice cream too is spreading all over so what it what is it's a place that has cakes okay yeah like their big trendy thing was the cake with the unfrost with no frosting on the sides was like the big trendy cake from a couple years ago it's okay it's fine but it doesn't have milk well it does have milk yeah there's dairy in it yeah they don't know but i don't sell milk as a

separate thing yeah yeah that's what i'm saying it's not like a milk bar like i'm thinking of where you go you get like a strawberry milk or whatever no that would be that would be a lot more charming in my opinion cool to me i mean it's probably not the best you wouldn't do a lot of business but but like getting like a nice like cup of two percent with like like two cookies to dip in it that's a maybe not a viable business model but it'd be pleasant yeah it'd be cute you could charge more for the milk too then you know charge five dollars for the milk make sure it's warm so some people with upset tummies don't have a problem uh nick m says uh this place has one of the most Instagram ice cream in DC.

Too bad the ice cream does not taste as good as it looks. Based on the employee's recommendation, I got the cereal milk ice cream swirl, which is really good by the way. You can say it's not good. I went, there is a fucking pizza

shop in DC and I can't fucking remember the name of it but it's like one of the popular sort of hip hipster like chain pizza places and they sell uh cereal like cereal milk flavored pop and i tried it thinking it was gonna suck and it was so fucking good so it is a good flavor. I'm sure it's a good flavor. Yeah. Yeah. He goes, the best way that I could describe the flavor is awful. I literally had two bites and threw it away.

My friends, though, had a much better experience. They got the party cake flavor and they said it was delicious. Also, the gluten free dough balls are pretty good. This place is worth trying out. Just lower your expectations. So I also, I did also find a place and I don't have the review. We're going to go. We got one more guy that we want.

I want to look at that. We had promised on guys plus that we would take a look at draft M. Oh yeah, of course. When did he pop up on which episode? It was one of the guys plus episodes where we talked about bourbon guys and we read the reviews of Four Roses. That's right. He got mad because there were kids on the bourbon tour

and people who don't know anything about bourbon. Yeah. They're there to learn. Well, no, that's too bad. No, that's not what it's for. It's for people who already know. Yeah. Well, draft goes one star for Puerto Madero,

which he travels all over the country. I think he's an Atlanta guy, but he also goes a lot of places. One star. Guys, massive slide. Service and quality have slipped tremendously. You can do better. What has happened? 20-year customer who was totally

disappointed this evening amateur staff are really a non-delivery he used to be on top five maybe in bottom 100 now oh yeah that's a fucking steep i don't know how many people how many numbers are going off of here so that doesn't really help me like i don't know how many different places there are i'm telling you the the unifying characteristic of yelp guys is that they don't understand numbers or ratings that is really like i don't you know listen chris thinks he knows a lot about this but he doesn't but people rate wrestling matches on like a five star scale now i don't do that and the reason i don't do that is because i wouldn't know how to do it the reason that the pod cast scale is broken is because i don't have any concept of how to rank things so i just don't do it i don't well i got i mean i got an easy way for you to know about like how to rank a wrestling match is, I mean, if it's an AEW, it's definitely not going to be five stars.

And if it's in WWE, then it possibly could be. This is the other way around. But he goes, he goes, maybe in the box, get things back to where you know they should be. He's like a dad. Yeah. This is like, this is like, he's like giving them a pep talk. Like he, he really believes that they're going to read this

And they're going to be like alright you know what We got to do a bit of soul searching here Of what we're trying to do business wise He sees himself as a bit of a guru This next line Will draw you such a picture of draft M It's one of the most Beautiful Yelp lines

That I've seen Awful tonight And that I've seen. Awful tonight. And now I've been waiting 25 minutes for the bill. So he's writing this. Steaming in the chair still. He's still in his chair writing this review. It's in present tense.

That is remarkable. An unmitigated raging disaster this evening from a consistently great restaurant get it together so to your point about the kinds of guys who are doing these just when they're at their most angry a lot of them are probably written if not in the moment within like an hour of getting home from the restaurant yes yeah i actually saw a guy yesterday and i should have cut it out but i didn't uh he was reviewing an urgent care at the time he was there and saying it took too long for them to treat to get the person he was with in and i just pictured him in his mind he's like well i'll fucking give it a yelp review they'll see the bad yelp review and they'll get me right in because that is really what i think the mindset of these guys is that's why they do it while they're sitting at the restaurant or in they're in the car like their dream is that they get out out to the car and

some the manager like chases them out and he's like i'm sorry about that i'm gonna comp you the whole dinner we saw the yelp review and we've really thought a lot about it and you're right and we're sorry yeah the yelp siren in the kitchen started blaring i think i think a lot of it's meant to be punitive too where they're just like it's their little bit of power you know where they're they're powerless in that situation they feel powerless and they feel aggrieved and they want to snatch a bit of power back. And they're like, I'm going to give a negative review and that's going to hurt your business. Like they really believe it's going. Yeah, it is exactly like it's sort of like the people who think that if they tweet enough the democrats will start acting like you know leftists

you know what i mean if i just tweet enough at joe biden he's gonna act like a leftist and that's not gonna happen that's what these guys think this guy loves this place in the past he had one bad experience and he's like i want to come back here but i need them to know that they're on thin ice because i already gave them one bad experience. They're on notice. And if they don't step it up, I might have to do another negative review because I guess that's probably the end of his power and what he's able to do. I suspect they're also all like if you're talking to this guy in day-to-day conversation about anything, somehow the conversation is going to switch over to the most recent bad experience they had at a restaurant oh for sure or at a gas station or whatever that's their idea of like a fun party anecdote is how what a shitty

time they had at circle k the other day and again like the one person said i'm gonna i'm not only gonna not show up but i'm gonna take this opportunity to tell everybody so yeah like they think that's also them doing something like hey i'm getting negative word of mouth going so i am i am affecting their business and their bottom line and yelp guys don't have a there's one defining characteristic of them and it is that they do yelp but like a lot of these guys, they all seem very much like a one-of-a-kind guy. I'm a guy that walks 20 miles a day. And if I started reviewing stuff under the expectation that there are a million other people that walk 20 miles a day, that would be silly. And I think that's a lot of these guys think that they're a

way more common type of person the guy that thinks that hot cold water is upsetting his stomach he thinks that there are like people coming in every day that are just suffering through the cold water that causes stomach so yeah i think a lot of these guys i think this is something you see in like a professional food criticism a lot as the the critic tries to write from the perspective of the every band like we're trying to find value for the regular customer i think that mindset does kind of infect these guys a little bit so they think they're they're speaking up for like the majority of people uh but uh not not the case when you're just like a biological freak yeah not the case when like everyone likes cold water

it's the best kind of water it's like i it's the kind people are looking for generally i only like ice cold water i'm upset if it's not ice cold i i i actually worked for a while at a water filtration company i was like the receptionist and my boss uh if someone complained about the taste of the water after changing the filters would just tell them to wait for it to be cold in an hour and suddenly it'll be fine yeah that's the definitional thing with water is everybody just likes it at a chilled temperature yeah he reviewed studio movie grill which is one of those movie theaters you get to eat at which i don't like either no i don't like that i hate that idea is the smells and the you know even at cineplex in canada they'll allow people to have like poutine or like even there's some

type of indian food sometimes or hot dogs and it's like i don't want to need to be smelling that i just want to be smelling popcorn that's it it's either a compromise on the like the movie watching experience or the the food experience you're not going to get a high quality from from both right and everybody's talking during that is like the the tables and the food encourage everybody to just be talking through the whole movie i've found too drafts that uh this is a completely inefficient setup in-seat service service is a raging disaster he likes that line and should be discontinued not enough soda options in and out service during the start of the film is annoying refills require request i mean okay how many you're getting pop refills on those gigantic fucking movie theater pops like

relax man it's not good for you you're're going to be here for two hours. Yeah. Why do you need refills on it? And why can't you go get a refill? And this could also be a situation where like the standard has been set. The bar has been set pretty high in terms of soda flavors with the mix and match machines, the freestyle machines. Yeah. If they don't have that, I can see. And you're used to that at your movie theater. I can see why that would be like a step to not be able to get mellow yellow with raspberry zero here's where you start to really

hear this guy's psyche he goes uh if any parentheses if anyone's around but you really don't want that to be the case while watching a film getting your bill handed to you on the ending of the film you get the idea can't put your own butter and salt on your corn which wait yeah i've never been able to put butter and so like you we get the seasoning here i don't know if you guys have that but we'll have like there's like salt and vinegar barbecue all these or you know all these different types of seasonings that you can put on you don't have like you don't have like the fake butter dispenser yeah oh oh yeah maybe we do have the fake butter when i just always go real butter. Okay. I have a Canada-related popcorn story. Sorry.

The only time I visited Canada, I was in Toronto for an afternoon after visiting the Falls. We went to a movie, and I saw someone putting ketchup on the popcorn. Maybe for five or six years, I thought that was a very Canadian thing to do, but I don't think anyone else does that actual ketchup yeah from the oh yeah no that's that's not that's i've literally never seen that or heard of that in my life that was just a weird

guy that was a weird guy yeah the positives nice remodel uh pleasant staff comfortable seating popcorn is good quality nice bar area popcorn is good quality i mean popcorn is one quality i know i've never had a different that's popped it's like it's not burned that it's good quality uh fix the full service issue or at least offer an option to order your own in the lobby as well two stars for the positives okay this is a place called or and i think it's just a restaurant but this is how we learned about draft m so i thought we'd we'd get to hear him he gave five stars review to or this is a gem of a place manly men yes is it what kind of is this a gym is this like a sauna a strip club i i i don't know i should

have kept this one upscale approach and higher end delivery that was unexpected and welcome recommended to discriminating connoisseurs that appreciate the effort um he also reviewed ruth chris steakhouse oh ruth ruth's chris right isn't that the one that always makes fun of the name He also reviewed Ruth Chris Steakhouse. Oh, Ruth's Chris. Ruth's Chris. Right? Isn't that the one that always makes fun of the name? Unfortunately, he gave it one star. Okay.

He said, this Ruth's Chris is an unmitigated disaster. Ah, yeah. As a veteran customer of Ruth's throughout the USA. Yeah, that's a really cool way to describe yourself, too. As someone who served in the Ruth's Chris Steakhouse fucking military. And that is a very guy who travels for work a lot kind of thing to do. That's a business lunch you can reliably write off in any state of the union. And yes, internationally internationally this by far

the worst location no atmosphere or vibe to the place booked several weeks in advance and had atrocious seating location in the restaurant there were a number of opportunities to improve our experience which we brought to the attention of the staff. Nothing was done. Zero. Scored would be negative on Yelp if allowed. Seriously disappointed. So then the next review he has, these happen right in a row. It's Wahlburgers. I've been to Wahlburgers before in Toronto. That's the only time.

I don't think we have them here in Vancouver, but I have been to a Wahlburgers and they were playing the wall, like the TV. Oh, what's that? Yeah. What's oh, this is beeping.

Is that? Oh, sorry. I live right outside of. Oh, that's okay. I just thought it was maybe. But yeah,

they were playing the wall, the Wahlburg reality show on all of the televisions in the restaurant which i thought was very cool well he just gave that ruse chris one star uh for wall burgers it's five stars pleased to see wall burgers in the atl atlana uh ready to get my grub on with the opening weekend festivities here in early February. Welcome to the neighborhood. So wait a second. It hasn't even opened yet.

He's just giving a five-star review at the thought of it being open. He's such a Wahlberg fan. He's a Wahlbergers guy. He loves it. Top spice. Loves the manly men. Yes, he does. Well, yeah, he wants to be somewhere with manly men for sure. Oh, well, the Wahlbergs are manly men. Yes, he does. Well, yeah, he wants to be somewhere with manly men for sure.

Oh, well, the Wahlbergs are manly men. I mean, what's more manly than using a hook to seriously assault an elderly man and steal beer from him? As Mark Wahlberg did in his younger days. Very manly. This seems like an Indian place. It's called Top Spice. And Draft gave it one star. And he said said you used to live a couple of blocks away check-ins are 14 but reality is i've been here probably 30 or 40 times tonight so he wants he just he wants you to know that he's although

you would only notice him checking in that some of the times he didn't check in so he's actually more of a regular and a veteran of this place than you would even see online letting them know draft is letting them know you know not just 14 experiences 30 or 40 experiences 30 or 40 almost more than double what you're what you're thinking take whatever you're thinking and double it well i hate to say this tonight's return was an unmitigated disaster. Oh, no. Oh, no. One hour wait for food.

Wrong food delivered. And at the end of the experience, after noting wrong food, parentheses, since no one came by after we got our meal, when seeing the bill, no apologies for the hour wait or wrong order, but question did i give it everything on your bill are you kidding me capital letters failure uh give him one star so yeah i mean i think he's lying one hour is a long time to wait for food i think he's lying about it i think that that's that's a lie in my opinion yeah people will wait that long for like a really trendy place but this is like a neighborhood Indian restaurant, right? Yeah, I think probably he's

exaggerating how long they waited. Yeah, and I do think, yeah, you're absolutely right. Let's do one more. Brian, I have a question. Do you have any more man cow reviews? We do. We'll get two more man cows in here. Mug and Bun is a place that

man cow reviewed, and he gave it three stars this is eight months ago so this is matt this is man cow miller and this is so this is this like a mug and this is a bar or something or a beer and burger place yeah it's it's it's hot dogs and root beer okay oh like one of those drive-ins that sounds great yeah that's not what i was expecting but yeah that's cool throwback yeah and i would love i love places like that i mean most of them are gone but you know at times a and w used to be that in the united states yeah and i'll be way better in canada just always have to clarify that it's a you you should be excited to have it brian when you come here because it's like it's owned by two different companies completely and it's a you you should be excited to have it brian when you come here because it's like

it's owned by two different companies completely and it's like people in america think a and w's where it's the best fast food here i'm getting it this week uh man cow says three stars a tradition the name says it all old-fashioned hot dog and root beer stand. Back when Americans were cool and drove big gas-powered metal beauties, we ate at joints like this. Mmm, chili cheese dog. The car hops are nice enough, too. Time travel for a chili dog and chill, baby. Are you in a Prius?

Keep on driving, bub. Oh, shit. I love when Mancow sort of makes it a political statement you know he's just like you had to know when they're talking about an old traditional place like this that he was going to take this angle you know for sure for sure that is that is the most man cow thing you could possibly do it's also very much a reference from 2005 i know nobody's mad at priuses at all anymore i know the fact that they ever were mad at priuses made them seem so fucking stupid but like now i don't even think they're that mad at them i know a lot of those conservative guys drive priuses now no everyone likes the prius

remodel it's cool now yeah g, Gus's World Famous Fried Chicken, reviewed by Man Cow, four stars. Ah. Excellent friendly waitstaff. Why don't more places get it? Your crew matters. These are nice folk. While on tour with the Smashing Pumpkins,

we stopped in. Very cool. He was with Corgan and the band. and the the band very cool i see you always like start fucking in these reviews like oh earlier this is part of the deal this is his whole deal lauren this is his whole deal now i he he famously says that he is the last person i mentioned this on the last episode so i'm sorry But he always says he's the last person To talk to someone before they die So like Brandon Lee

Or Chris Farley or like He is actually the biggest name Dropper that I've ever heard Anything you know one time he was doing a live stream He just answered his phone And he and it's or He'll say oh I just got a call from like this person Some B list like celebrity from the 80s or whatever.

And he's just nonstop with it nonstop. And people, they might not even like remember this, but he I forget where I was going there. I'm sorry. I was looking for the Vince Neil review on Yelp that Mancow did. Mancow reviewed a strip club that he went to with Vince Neal from Motley Crue. And he just... Incredible.

Gus's world-famous fried chicken. No frills classic chicken joint. Many startups all over now mimic this classic. It's odd that this place is ancient and yet so many hipsters are now trying to mimic it. They ain't original gus is and the prices ain't gentrified but still reasonable so he what he's using hipster what what what is this from this review this is a eight month ago oh yeah it's too it's not a good we don't people

don't say hipster anymore either he's really kind of speaking in a whole different time for sure he's still stuck in like the Iraq war years yeah which is when makes sense like honestly because that's when his career was thriving and when he was like really somebody and I think people tend to do that be like public figures and stuff or you know they go back to the time when they felt the the most proud of themselves or they're you know like they were really somebody they just stick themselves sure yeah everybody probably does to some degree or another but when you're like when you're after your celebrity years and not really bringing in the kind of money or self-respect anymore yeah i mean i always i find that so odd lauren because in my mind

it's like once you've made the money, once you've made the money, why not just fucking call it a day? Why do you got to be like Opie and Man Cow and like try to hold on to it? And, you know, obviously aren't aren't successful at holding on to it. Most people most of the people online that know Man Cow know of him because I make fun of him. people most of the people online that know man cal know of him because i make fun of him yeah i think that he i think it does it sort of makes sense it's like at one point they were really beloved and famous and that was like what made them feel the most fulfilled in life or whatever by far and so they're desperate to cling on to that even if they have money they're like they want to have be these beloved you know radio

hosts or whatever and feel that feeling that they had before but they're the right they're the right in the cage like mashing the button that releases the treat over and over yeah yeah despite all my rage i am still just a hey smashing pumpkins i am i am rolling through his trying to find that vince neal review real quick and there's so many pictures of him with roger stone and his wife oh yeah that's kind of interesting i don't know if you guys know that roger stone and his wife are famous swingers yeah well man cow's not you know he's not a swinger that's probably satanic in some way have you seen any pineapples on his yeah upside down pineapple is uh means the swingers club yeah that's that's if you see an upside down pineapple anywhere it means or someone's wearing

that jewelry it means hey guess what you can fuck me or my wife chris told me about that because he's that's not true brian told me about it it was actually live on a stream so i have verification brian's a sex guy he's trying to work it oh going to hedonism too no i'm glad i'm glad three people have their own hanky coat i think that's cute i'm telling you i am not going to hedonism too uh he goes back before the colonel tried to hide fried this was how it was so pc culture you know i remember when kfc said probably what it was fried chicken babe keep it up gus oh so he's also following like email chain conspiracy theories about the kfc chicken being like because

it's it's called kfc not kentucky fried anymore. That was like the email you got from your grandfather in 2002 being like, yeah, they're genetically modifying the chickens to have 16 legs. Yes, they can't. They're not legally allowed to call them chicken. I do. You're exactly right, Lauren. That was the thing. That doesn't seem like man cow to sort of buy into a conspiracy, though. No, he's a pretty smart guy.

He's not the type of guy who who would forget he's got 3 000 pictures on yelp he is the most yelp guy we even talked about uh you can just click on why does he have pitch who has pictures on yelp for what purpose like uh like i guess maybe you take a photo of the product or the food or something that you're reviewing. Interestingly, no. That's something I've always been very confused about by Yelp is people just upload pictures of like their family eating at the restaurant. That's incredibly common is to just post a picture of like your husband with a club sandwich in front of him. Yeah, I'm looking at a review he did for the Blackhawks hockey team. Okay.

That seems weird. I like it. Go ahead. This is a picture of him with the owner. Is the picture. Okay. He put on the Blackhawks. I feel so sorry for the Chicago guys that have to kiss the man cow ring.

Now, or ever had to. Yeah, not ever gonna find this he he reviews so many like uh conventions and shit and uh yeah he's he's i don't know where he's at he's the ultimate yelp guy and that is kind of incredible you don't i mean i guess it makes sense i i feel like after what we saw of bubba on the stream where he was complaining at the drive-thru about how long he had to wait and asking to speak to a manager maybe we should check out to see if bubba himself has made a yelp account or has a yelp account because he strikes me as someone who could do the same sort of reviews not right he's not writerly though you know what i mean he's not whatever the video equivalent of yelp will be at some point in the future i mean like a 90 second like he does youtube reviews of food so that's where we saw it you know the issue was

lauren the issue was that he had to go into the special drive-thru because he has a dually i don't know if you know what a dually is uh it's a big truck that's extra wide. He had to go into a special drive-thru. Then he noticed the other cars in the regular one were going ahead of him. He just lost it on the person at the drive-thru and started demanding to speak to a manager. It was really quite... It's one of the maddest I've ever seen a person in my entire life. I've never seen somebody... There's no cuts because he doesn't know how to edit so it's just you're seeing the entire thing in real time it's really quite remarkable that's beautiful that's a whole kind of that's a whole kind of

disability i wasn't aware of is is being discriminated against because you drive a double wide truck yeah you viewed a jazz funeral i'm to just share the pictures real quick just of what I'm looking through. Oh, please work. Hey! It did it! Okay. He reviewed Jazz Funeral, which is a gift shop.

So he did get it reviewed, but I'm going to go back so you can see. Okay, this is a New Orleans thing. Yeah, okay. There's dozens of these places in the french quarter so if you if you scroll through like you will find there's several pictures of him with like roger stone here he is in japan and here he is yeah he goes to japan a lot so he's just really uh and there's a bunch of bikini ladies on here and I'm not a hundred percent why you would put bikini ladies on, but yeah, I wish I could find the script strip

club review with Vince Neil, but we'll find it for, find it, find it for guys. Plus we will got Wrigley field. Oh, look, who's on the picture for Wrigley field. Oh, wow. BFM baby.. Oh, wow. BFM, baby. Bill Murray, everyone. The Chive Hive. Absolutely loving that.

Everyone got their coins? He said, this is a lie. Oh, my God. He's lying. This was a life highlight. Ran into Bill Murray. He took this with my phone. Hilarious and Cubs won.

I'm going to tell you right fucking now. He did not take. He's lying. He's trying to get a good viral Bill Murray story. I know it. I just know the guy too well. Picture dated October 31st, 2016. That would have been one of the World Series games that year.

He might have taken that from someone else who was hanging out with Bill Murray at the time. Bill Murray was almost certainly at that game. Oh, yeah. Yeah, he's truly... Mancow's just such a great liar. But that was Yelp, guys. Lauren on Twitter is not a big jerk and also makes the Batting Around podcast.

I have all of the info in the description of the thing because I've started doing the description before I do the podcast and then just boom, you type a few things in. It's professional, I know. Chris is DCJS on Twitter and not even a show on YouTube. I am Brian.

MurderXBrian on everything. Come on Twitch on Sunday nights. Me and Chris will fuck around there. And Patreon.com slash Murder X Brian. You get more guys content. Guys Plus, which we've mentioned a few times in this, and which I feel Yelp guys will be quite a resource for that later.

I know I'm going to be reading that Vancouver guy for the rest of my life. Oh, that Vancouver guy. That was. he was the best of them i think yeah that was embarrassing he's so good so good i want him to have like a tv show solving mysteries like a monk style where he's yeah yeah he does have a monk vibe holy Holy fuck. Yeah, he does. Yeah, yeah. We'll do one more of his, and then we'll get out of here. Best smoked meat in town. However, you're going to pay. Wait, where is this?

This is at Dunn's Famous. Don't know this place either. It's nine years ago. Best smoked meat in town. However, you're going to pay a premium for the pleasure. At least double what you would pay in Montreal. to pay a premium for the pleasure at least double what you would pay in montreal few if any restaurants in vancouver that offer smoked meat allow you to order it lean medium medium fat or fat i've never been to a place that does that i don't know if either one of you have ever been

i've heard a place is doing that but it's in montreal yeah yeah ah okay okay yeah that makes duns allows you to and their meat does not disappoint the fries are excellent too i only ordered smoked meat fat that's the only way to go as far as i'm concerned their triple chocolate cake is one of the best chocolate cakes i've ever tasted and well worth the 6.99 so this is great so it's great five star review yeah however my complaint centers around the small portions of everything especially the poutine where if you want it inside, which if you want it instead of fries with the platter, you pay extra for. Okay. Yeah, of course. Okay.

Fair enough. But what you get comes in one of those small bowls. If you're going to charge me extra for poutine, give me a healthy portion, please. My other complaint is the music. Oh, I was wondering. Just rowdy Quebecois punk, I'm sure. I was wondering if he was going to fucking say it. Most times I am there, they're playing hard rock, which I cannot stand.

God, I wish I knew the songs. I just wish I knew the hard rock. I want to know how hard the rock is. Yeah. I'm not going to be forced. If I'm going to pay an arm and a leg for food, I'm not going to be forced. If I'm going to pay an arm and a leg for food, I'm not going to be forced to listen to music that unnerves me.

Unnerves him. I eat out a lot. Dunn's has lost 90% of my business simply because of the music they play. What does that mean? Wait a second. you still go sometimes but you go like 90 less often yeah you used to go like 10 times a month now you go one is that

what you're saying i'm trying to figure out 90 uh he goes when will restaurants realize that you will lose customers with music that not everyone likes but won't lose any customers with music that not everyone likes but won't lose any customers was music that may be bland but doesn't offend but but what like he's under it's subjective like some people like some types of music what is he think he just this is the thing that brian was talking about exactly where he's just like listen we can all agree on this particular type of music and we all like this kind of music you know which is not the fucking case matt he goes there is a reason musac is a billion dollar corporation okay he does actually okay he wants musac he wants to feel like he's in the mall at all times yeah have you ever heard of somebody i mean other than like vaporwave people but somebody who seriously prefers music out of anything yeah i don't know

but yeah i mean a guy who refuses to drink cold water because it makes his tummy hurt might be the kind of guy i would expect that from yeah three stars instead of four because of the music even the small portions and the overpricing would have gained them before because the smoke meat is excellent there was also reference in there to a small like the universal sized small bowl we all know and love yeah it comes in one of these small bowls one of those you know those small bowls that you get when you go to a place yeah oh man he's good he is uh he is quite a guy i am a big fan of uh i'm a big fan of tony k he has he has preferences and he's not afraid to

flex he's won me over he's he's right about the high chairs too those are awful on your back i agree but you know they're i i feel like a lot of the stuff he's mad at is a standard situation i know that the high chairs suck but i for some reason restaurants feel like they have to have them and i know i don't know anything about warm water the water thing is mind-blowing to me just in the rock and roll i get it i mean i feel like any level of sound of this rock and roll is too much because like chris said he didn't even notice it when he went to the places the flying pig chris didn't even notice them i don't and it's sally lamal like it's i'm telling you it is not loud this guy is absolutely he doesn't affect the decibel yeah it's it's not the decibels of the

problem it's it's the genre but it is sometimes that sally lamal it was the decibels he he said i don't mind the music it's the mexican music but i it was too loud okay and that that one definitely was not too loud and i i do have noise sensitivity too like i and i have never had a problem never had a problem so this guy is fucked absolutely fucked yeah well that is the show this week thank you for coming in. We got a little post-credit Tony K review in and we will see you next week with Hype Beasts. Will be the next episode. So

enjoy. And I won't be there. So all of my haters, you're going to be excited. Stefan is taking the Chris chair. That's too bad. And Tony Boswell and Tom Sexton. So it'll be a big fun episode. We'll see you next week. Goodbye.

Bye.