Guys: With Bryan Quinby - Guys: Episode 24- Preppers with Kevin Banner

Episode Date: August 1, 2023

This is the first show in my new studio so forgive me if I sound like I am in an echoey church We talked preppers this week We checked in with what sorts of luxury items a prepper would take, how a prepper would defend thier home and of course we looked into food buckets  Kevin is on twitter at https://twitter.com/BannerComedy and you can find out where to get the album at https://t.co/vwjklFSnmc Chris James is at twitter.com/thecjs and his patreon is https://www.patreon.com/notevenashow and you can watch Not Even A Show at https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCrCbpXz1nGdXJbsPmKxMvjQ For more Guys you can hear Guys+ at patreon.com/murderxbryan you can find me on twitter at twitter.com/murderxbryan and I am Murder X Bryan on all of the other social media sites To learn more about Tom and Bunny you can watch the sunday night stream at 8:00pm at twitch.tv/murderxbryan

Welcome to Guys, a podcast about guys. I am Brian. I'm really prepped. Actually, not really prepped at all my office is all fucked up uh this week i have with me chris james of course hi i'm here and i'm actually prepared and i'm in a room that is proper for recording i'm a pro yeah brian calls me up and he looks like he's like robbing a house. He's just sitting in an empty room with a bunch of valuables all stacked in a corner. Yeah. A bunch of, a bunch of Lego sets. Is that, are those Lego sets? I can't. Yeah. Okay. Now I am,

we are getting a chance to see this. This is exciting and not good for the podcast at all of course because this is video but yeah i'm seeing some lego very underwhelming not impressive at all how much money do you think you spent on that brian uh i'm gonna guess that by now we're at ten ten thousand dollars 10 10 000 maybe and our guest our guest's eyes just went like like like a genuine like holy fucking shit i did not think the number was going to be that high um yeah also i i need to inform you i am not a guy with a lot i i recently started making more money but for several years i wasn't even making that much money but i'm going to introduce the guest now he's a dear friend of mine chris doesn't know him uh we have kevin banner what's up hey thanks for having me on the the show let's talk about some guys yeah i and just to be clear because people don't like some people probably don't know that you're doing a joke there like kevin to be

clear you guys don't know each other you've never met before um and kevin is actually my friend but i did not book kevin on the podcast brian said to me oh we have this guy coming on kevin banner and i was like that's my actual friend from like real life why the fuck are you booking my friends on the podcast um but hey i'm excited about it you know most of the time i'm it's not one of my actual in real life friends yeah john john cullen made the connection so john cullen yeah we i'm not and i don't know him which is the weird thing he's a dear friend of mine that chris doesn't know and has never met too most of you know that's why i wore the blue jays hat so i can me and ke. You're a Canadian looking, yeah.

Oh, I am. I am. I like the Grey Cup and stuff like that. He doesn't know anything. He just knows the words. Loonies and Toonies, Grey Cup, Super Bowl. Not Super Bowl. It's the Grey Cup only for me.

Well, I also live on the West Coast of Canada, which I. Wait a second. Hey, be careful. Yeah, he doesn't believe in that. i don't think that's a place so but you know what maybe it's a place to hide if doomsday happens because it doesn't exist you know you guys are being very smart i segued into what we're doing we're doing yeah you're doing really well on your segues i want to tell you that you've actually it's noticeable i know you've been taking your classes. Yes. So we're going to, we're going to look at preppers. One of the reasons I had wanted to do this is because I actually have preppers in my family.

My father and mother and father-in-law are doomsday preppers. And you know, they gave us homemade cough syrup for Christmas. Ah, so what is now i'm very interested in that so but i mean because homemade cough syrup does seem like something right like you could just honey and lemon like there's all these sort of things like that that you can use was it something like that like what what did what did it seem like what was the like what did it look like i'm telling you guys it smells worse than anything i've ever smelled it like almost has a mediciney smell but it's also just a bunch of herbs i i think they just dump whatever they got in there and some honey and they're like this is and the

funny thing is when they when we got it it was on a is a big bottle and it said cough syrup and it had a skull and crossbones on it that they drew. I was like, what the fuck you draw that on there for? Just a kind of a goof or like meant to be like, this is very strong and it will kill the cough. So are you excited to get a cold so that you can try it? I told her to throw it. I told my wife, like, come on, man, we're not going to drink that. And she just threw it away. We're not going to eat, drink that.

And she just threw it away. They also I've talked about them in the past on the older show where they do live in like a modular classroom. If people don't know what that is, they're like out in the middle of the country. And they're if you're remodeling a high school or a school, they'll put these like trailers outside that the students learn in so that they can remodel the school. Portables. That's what they used to be called like in around where we're from where kevin and i are from they call those portables so they somehow bought one of those on a plot of land in the middle of fucking nowhere and ever since then they've been stockpiling stuff they it's only got two rooms oh hang on

hang on a second like you mean they just bought an rv or they bought an actual it's not an rv you're saying it's it's it's an actual portable like it's a thing that it was a classroom before yeah it was two classrooms is what it was it was a really big like two classrooms there's a front room and there's a back room there's like a teacher's office which is the bedroom and And then there is, you know. So you've been inside it before? Yeah, yeah. I go there.

Well, I'm not going there anymore because they just sold it and they're moving some to my brother-in-law, who is also a prepper but hates my guts. Now, did they sell it to a homeowner or to a school district? I've been begging. I have been begging my wife to find out how much they sold that thing for. Because I was like, it's got to be $10,000. You can't sell it for more than $10,000. It's real shit. But half of the place is filled with pickled stuff and jars.

Yeah. So I wanted to get into that a little bit. I think of Doomsday Preppers, I guess, as having the dehydrated stuff you know that you're gonna rehydrate or whatever obviously a lot of weaponry would be associated with it as well because you can go rob people of their stuff that's not why they do it chris the weaponry is so people don't rob you no so you can just have weaponry and the way i see it and then you could just go i mean that's the oldest thing in the book from all the movies and everything. You just need a gun.

And then it's like, oh, you have all this great stuff, but you don't have a gun. Well, guess what? I have a gun. So now I have all your great stuff. But regardless, what makes a doomsday prepper? Well, first of all, they do not like the term doomsday prepper. Well, yeah, it does seem a little derogatory. What is the the term doomsday prepper. Well, yeah, it's pretty. It does seem a little derogatory. What is the terminology they use?

Just prepper. You know, I'm prepper. And this is what they do that's funny. They're like, I'm not prepping for doomsday. I'm prepping for Tuesday. Which means, like, if the grid goes down or SHTF, as they call it shit hits the fan um if that happens so we they have they have those things too oh god yeah they got bsts so kevin this is a big thing with guys and i know it sounds like maybe you've listened to some of them but a lot of them will instead of

just like saying where the words that they want to say they'll like come up with these acronyms or whatever these so yeah it's it's sort of a good way to tell if you're a guy i saw a clip about shtf and the guy said that he was he's like uh we're not prepping for the end of times we're prepping for a couple of weeks where we might have to stay inside our home you've never had to do that before like there's a wildfire on your to do that before like there's a wildfire on your street i was like if there's a wildfire why would i go to the basement of my house yeah i'm not i'm gonna leave if there's a wildfire i'm gonna abandon the place yeah so okay so the idea is hey we're just prepping for whatever might come up we're gonna be ready for

it it's not you know hey we're not thinking it's end of times but might be tough times i mean we could be prepping for eod which is end of days or which is electromagnetic pulse wait wait wait wait wait i think that one slipped in there i don't know that that one what do you mean you're prepping for electromagnetic pulse yeah it turns off all the electronics oh i see then so then there's no then i see anything then you're then we're all fucked yeah that sucks i lose my job because that's close that might be come right before eod yeah yeah yeah um there's also uh t-e-o-t-w-a-w-k-r okay see these ones are do you know what i mean like i'm not gonna remember

that t-w-k-a-w-k-i-w-i favorite one guys what what is that what's that for the end of the world as we know it which you could just literally say it's so much quicker to just say it yeah the end of the world as we know it that's a song as well right it takes a lot of thinking to do t-e-o-t-w-a-w-k-i like it's not like something that i can just i guess you're typing out yeah maybe they're doing a lot of typing these people right on message boards and stuff so it's a it's a shorthand way of typing it out it's not faster to say but it's faster to type here's a fun one hemp h-e-m-p okay and i know for a fact that kevin might know a thing or two about this i don't know do you are you a marijuana i know that you have smoked marijuana before do you still smoke marijuana oh yeah occasionally yeah okay because i know you're

also a family man you're a family guy as well i am yeah my daughter does not uh take part she doesn't smoke she's very she's very she's very young yeah just to be clear because brian has a daughter whose age she could actually smoke she doesn't smoke but she'll eat an edible every now and then she'll have an 18 years old she's allowed to it's like whatever a hemp stands for high altitude electromagnetic pulse oh so it's not so it's not hemp it is but i don't know why they spell it hemp well i think we all know why because they're trying to capitalize on the famous word hemp yeah yeah but so then what is the difference between just a regular emp and an hemp like like planes fall out of the sky uh yeah the falling plane right um factor the the uh fpf uh falling plane factor all right let's get into into the subreddit, which embarrassment of riches for this episode.

I can imagine. I mean, these are the type of people. I mean, their whole thing is just imagining scenarios and discussing them, you know. So this is a new preppers resource guide, which is answers to common questions. So people can come in and sort of ask questions and stuff and uh round black jube said you won't find it spoken of on hardly any prepper sites but the simple fact is quote money or wealth is one of the best resources you can have in the future quote money just you know quote money you know i love that money you know money I love that money, you know, money with the quote.

Yeah. I mean, that's yeah, I, I believe that. Well, I guess we, we aren't likely to go into Mad Max in the decades ahead and people with tangible money like silver and gold, we'll be able to buy the things needed to survive. It doesn't fit well with the baked beans and bullet crowd or those selling solar systems and knives. But the history of civilization proves that those with money do better than those without. But if we're in EOD, like gold and silver, you need to make necklaces?

Yeah, it depends, though, where we're at as far as on the timeline. Yeah, because eventually this money will you know won't mean anything it'll just be resources that you'll that you'll need to get your hands on but i think these people are saying hey there's going to be a long period of time where it's still going to have some worth to it there's going to be some type of currency well exchange wagnus rex in. One thing that I came across in my research of preppers is that there's a big beef between

preppers and survivalists because survivalists say preppers are only as good as the money they have to build their stocks, whereas survivalists can live off the land. The one guy said something very insane. He said that survivalists

will intentionally lose weight and become skinnier so that other people won't know that they have their supplies yes we got a few of that things in here the supply very so that that is like huge that's chess that's real 4d chess oh i got in the end of times well wagnus rex did respond and say golden golden silver it says good sorry that wasn't you know gold and silver are difficult to eat and not really very nutritious at all wait wait this is they're meant they're making i just want to clarify for the listener and everything they're being humorous well this part is true right this is what i've never understood the point of hoarding either. When things get bad, they're only useful if someone has too much of something

and agrees your heavy, shiny metals are more important than the thing you're attempting to trade for. So wonderlust 777 does respond to this and it goes, I wouldn't underestimate underestimate people's vanity and want for luxury goods i mean i don't i i would i would think you're overestimating that if we're looking at an end of day situation i guess i mean i guess though but there is this idea like people will like have a bunch you know become very powerful and sort of have everything and then they will want to accumulate those those displays of their wealth you know that is falling out of the sky and i need a pinky ring yeah i mean i need everyone everyone needs to know that i'm the most powerful but i mean yeah it depends again where you're at on the timeline of things here as far as how important any kind of currency is. Well, Silo Echo Bravo, which is a real prepper ass name, the perfect generator quiet box, a repurposed deep freezer.

Now, instead of soundproofing a small storage shed, which will always inevitably have acoustic leaks. Why not? Why are we doing it? Because you don't want people to hear your generator, so they don't know you're generating power. Of course, okay. Sorry, you're going to need to... You're sort of assuming that I understand it all, the mindset, or any of this. And silo echo bravo, that's military speak for seb so this might be chris's old buddy seb gorka oh i could see him he would be being a doomsday prepper in a very serious way well he

goes uh why not simply cut out ventilation and electrical holes into a large dead deep freezer you'd still need dead vents at the intake and outtake to trap the noise as well as mechanical ventilation to circulate the air so this guy's talking about taking your your generator and putting it in a deep freezer that's old now that's the first part of this post he had to come back and edit this post and it says edit bad idea it's a fire hazard given the plastic and foam insulation should the ventilation fans fail and the plastic melt the thing would likely become a fire bomb thank you for the input i see all right so some people told them that some people needed to tell them that that might turn into well this is really funny to me because I'm just thinking about it. Like, yeah, these are not like experts in the field.

Like, you know, they're not like experts in whatever they're figuring out here. They're just kind of, hey, it'd be a good idea to throw the generator into the deep freeze. And if they weren't on some forum, if they were just kind of doing this in their life like at the you know when it should hit the fan or whatever then they would probably end up a lot of them blowing themselves up in one way or the other killing themselves it's good that they have reddit i i think like reddit has saved several lives it's taken some too i would imagine but uh yeah yeah you're right i mean just overall i think

reddit has probably led to a lot of people dying but well guys i want you to know we did talk about luxury items and there happened to be a thread on reddit that said what is something you include in your prep that is entirely for morale that'd be interesting to kind of look through what music music i would think you know you would want to listen to some music if you could um yeah maybe movies for me that you'd want to take um i'd want to take it uh i'd want to take chris's, his most recent stand-up film. I would have that for sure. Oh, that's great.

Hang on, though. What's happening with your audio? Do you hear it, Brian? Yeah. Do you hear a rooster? Yeah, there's some sort of like something that sounds affected, like there's a different sound coming through. You might have to unplug and plug back coming through you might have to unplug and

plug back you might have to unplug and plug back in if you could well i'll say this i have my luxury item would probably be i don't know legos but oh yeah you would you would take your legos would you like would you take them apart and then redo them or just to look at the finished Legos? Well, the problem with the Legos is they're big. I can't really take them with me. So you,

but, but if they're broken apart, like into just the pieces that they become, you know, then, then you could bring them. I'll bring a big bag of the pieces. Yeah.

And then you could put together like something that has a little bit where you could put together a few different things. You know what I mean? Not just one, like you could, you know, has a little bit where you could put together a few different things. You know what I mean? Not just one. It has a little bit. Now, Kevin, let's see how it sounds now. Okay, are we back? Yeah, and you sound fine.

You sound totally fine. I was worried because we have a rooster. Our neighbor has a rooster, and it will not sound. I thought that that was like some sound reference. That's what it's called when you have this like fuzzy thing. It's like, are you hearing a bit of a rooster there, Terry? No, but Kevin, what would you, let's see, what would you bring or what would you have as your luxury items? Or like luxury items, I guess like books maybe because anything that requires power might

not be yeah you're right the power would not be smart so you're right to be going with lego or books so anything like any of the old you know wwe autobiographies i guess i could really dig into oh yeah wwe not as long as it's not like some aew bullshit. Oh, I mean, I don't watch WWE, but I do read their old books. I'm all AEW these days. Thank you. You're AEW. Don't you find that they're sort of ruining

the legacy of wrestling and making it sort of nonsense with some of their bullshit wrestlers, i.e. Pockets and Twinkle Toes? I didn't realize you were a corny guy. Oh, yeah, I'm a big time corny guy. Yeah, I'm a huge corny guy. I oh yeah i'm a big time corny guy yeah i'm a huge corny guy i like the old stuff from the 1940s where it was one hour 45 minutes and it was always a draw at the end

big lutez guy chris james yeah lutez that's one of the names there's other guys too i mean yeah bruno sam or billy watson oh yeah obviously it'll bruiser brody rest in peace you know i can't believe what happened to him um that booker in mexico or whatever well let's hear i'm not i'm not even you're you're the prepper this first guy that brings it up goes i usually this is so funny to me i usually have a couple boxes of single use hot sauces on hand oh wait a second we got a prepper slash hot sauce guy oh this is exciting now what hey now my next question for you when you're bringing this what type of what level of uh what's it called again scoville units what's what's the scoville units on those that you're bringing is there some other some hot sauce guy steps into the prepper

conversation it's like no the hot sauce that you're choosing to bring what is the scoville units on that uh and he also says and i and a box of honey satchets the extra flavor or a slight sugar rust seem like a good trade-off for the minimal weight so it's it weighs less right i mean hot sauce package is an insane like maybe you just bring a bag of hot sauce you know you just throw it into like a like a ziploc bag to save because yeah they they often have those big cumbersome kind of bottles or whatever you know it's supposed to look like a big giant asshole or something you know bad morbid said root beer barrels those little hard candy oh i see so candies bring some candies candies yeah yeah but candies wouldn't they go bad quite quickly well let me mention this and this is going to come up later on in this run of guys by the way

is this fn spaghetti monster which we are doing pastafarians in this run so we will be learning about the flying spaghetti monster he goes like this i have five pounds of stale slash dried out gummy bears oh wait that is a horrifying that's like a one of those like one sentence horror movies or whatever horror stories why do they have to start out stale oh man i have five pounds of stale dried out gummy bears that's that sounds so disgusting uh i figured as long as they stay dry they will last for years and then uh somebody responds put gummy bears in a mason jar and zap them with your vacuum sealer. Don't last just about forever without getting stale that way.

And then F and Spaghetti Monster replies, the stale ones take longer to eat. Not quite hard. So it's a time thing. So you're not going to run through your supply because you're really having a hard time. Because you're sitting there just trying to chew through one for a day and a half. Alive. Because you're sitting there just trying to chew through one for a day and a half. Saliva. Now, I promise you, it will literally take you years to eat these physically.

It's such an unpleasant experience to eat these things. Hexpon says, careful with the hot sauce packets. They don't last forever. Got sick for about a week after using some off the top of the fridge on a taco knew it was bad with the first bite threw the taco away but ate that one bite big mistake so i didn't even yeah i guess that's true i never thought it does last for a very long time hot sauce you know what i mean like years but here's one that i think you guys might might feel better about your choices uh low ad 3139 says uh i have a battery bank that is specifically for my ipod and zune so i can have some music when i need to relax or calm my nerve yeah no that's that would be huge you know to be able to throw on like the songs

that make you feel relaxed or happy or whatever remind you of a better time yeah get your zune going you know guy has a zune that's why i was very impressed with him still having that so um one thing i did look into also guys is I went to Amazon to look at the food buckets. And where the fuck did those go? Well, never mind. I did not. I can't find where. Oh, my God.

I found a Canadian company that makes the buckets, and it's called Good to Go Co. It's 100% Canadian, which is very important to them. And it's important to us Canadian which is very important to them that's important to us yeah very important to me not to you they sell one-year supplies so you can get all of your buckets for one year for it's on special right now for four thousand and eighty dollars how much is it normally forty eight hundred and they what I learned about this I don't know if you ran into this too kevin on amazon when you start looking at these things uh you notice that a lot of the buckets come with packets punctured and uh all the stuff all the powders and stuff all over the place and then they do no refunds and no returns and is that is that good

well it just means you got to get to them quickly so which actually is good because it means that your gummy bears will last longer because you're not getting those right away oh yeah no the gummy bears i mean honestly they'll be sitting there for so long. The thing that I found on Amazon when I was looking up Prepper stuff was Prepper romance novels, which I was not expecting to come across. I didn't see that's Prepper sex guys almost, right? So is this like romance novels to read in a situation where it's the end of times or is this... They're based in the end of time so it's like because also i did uh i did a google search because a lot of the preppers that i looked up were not um attractive people and so i was like are there sexy preppers so i googled sexy preppers and then i got a bunch of those books

but also it's it's subjective because it's like how it just depends on how horny gas masks make you oh and also just how horny you are in general. You know what I mean? Like, think about it's the end of times. It's just like you're changing entirely what is attractive to you as you become just like horny and in need of physical touch. And I think of a guy like Brian in the end of times. Good Lord, because he's already a big time sort of known as a horny kind of guy

horny guy number one and number two everybody y'all have like gross you know you're not able to shower every day that won't matter to you guy like you that won't mean anything you'll start to love the smells oh god the mosque the mosque you'll call it Musk. You'll say, hey, call me Elon because I love that Musk. You know, that's what you'll be saying. What steps would you take to prep your house when you know shit has hit the fan? And this guy's trying to make a list. I'm trying to make a list, and I want to know what you guys would do to your house. Of course, this will be personal, but things might overlap.

Give me everything from closing your blinds to pay one well i'm gonna close my blinds if it's the end of times i'm gonna close my blinds up that's the first things first honestly people can't see inside tell if you're home or not well alien noah uh said i posted a comment to a post like this recently keep in mind i'm in a suburb i would trash the yard in a way that is reversible later. There will be a lot of foul-melling stuff, and I might encourage kids to make... Foul-melling?

What is foul-melling stuff? Foul-smelling stuff. Oh, you said foul-melling. Oh, shit. Foul-smelling stuff. And I might encourage... I hope everyone doesn't comment foul-melling. Well, I have been seeing entering,

which this is after another two weeks legendary if you're not a if you're not a patron, go over and subscribe to the to Brian's Patreon just to hear the flub intro where he messes up the word intro. And then as we try to figure out what's going on, he immediately drops off the call and just leaves me and the guest sitting there. Steve Slaskowski from Pup. So she goes, there will be a lot of foul-smelling stuff, and I might encourage kids to make animal feces with mud. Wait, sorry? I don't know. Make stuff that looks like animal feces or make mud out of animal feces i've been trying to figure that out really sure why are you why you're why is this person involving your children at all yeah either way i'm not sure what the end like make feces look muddy or make mud look like

feces make it look like there's animals maybe you know make the mud look like you know feces so that it i don't know i'm not sure this this person seems like they're already kind of in the end of times mentally yeah yeah yeah they want to uh you know and they're like uh another thing i do is grow thorny plants, roses, fire thorns, et cetera, near windows. It's a great deterrent for the lazy opportunist types. Also, these plants take care of themselves and are edible. So then the guy replies, and who's what? This is the most reasonable thing I've heard.

Install the break-in resistant film on the windows. Like, no shit. You would want to be like at that step already goes fill unused trash barrels with water and if worried about fallout use stucco tape to see all the windows and i hope i have enough toilet bags if sewer isn't functioning fortunately high enough on the hill backup shouldn't be too big an issue so he's just gonna roll his shit down a hill hey yeah i mean hey if the world's falling apart roll your shit down a hill hey yeah i mean hey if the world's falling apart roll your shit down the hill stinky the ferret says ring that ring that we had to wait for a

plumber once during covid we bought a cassette toilet for our little trailer and used it when the plumber issue came up what's a cassette toilet i think that's a flushless toilet, I think. My in-laws are actually moving into a place where there is not a toilet with running water in it. Like, it's a... Ah. So, that's too bad. I'm sorry to hear that. Are they... No, they're doing it on purpose.

Ah. They rely on plumbing. I see. So, then what will they... As far as, I guess, keeping themselves clean, what do they plan on doing in that respect? Axe body spray.

There's a huge cupboard just filled with canisters of axe body spray that everyone uses. That would be... What's the actual answer, brian do you have any idea like i think it's one of those camping showers right you know what i'm talking about no i haven't talked to them in in about a year but i assume it's one of those uh like a bucket

with a that like you put above you with little holes poked in it and then the water comes down so they still have they'll they just get water from like a well or something yeah i gotta tell you i don't even know why they want the flushless toilet like i don't it seems like especially for me imagine what it would look like the best thing about a toilet is that it flushes some of them do some of them do some of them when brian gets involved with them they actually don't flush i saw your yeah you're trashing canadian toilets on twitter and i thought like i'm a i'm a big guy who's done some crap and i don't know what you were doing that's what i'm saying man because i have friends right who i'm not huge

myself and i don't do notoriously big shits but you know one of my good friends was he six foot five 340 pound football player one of my good high school he takes the biggest shits i ever seen in my life he never clogged up the toilet ever at my place or anywhere else that we went to brian what are you doing i wouldn't first of all use the toilet at your place and we can talk about this now what the hell yeah well yeah i mean i don't live at a grocery store why would you well now let me let me correct you now okay i have not since i moved here on tuesday mond, I haven't crapped yet. It's Thursday.

It's been a while. It's all just not working out. And so do you save it up? Is that why you're taking such big ones? It's just because I'm not in my home field, but I live downtown now. And what I'm going to do is when I have to go, I'm going to walk to the Columbus Convention Center and do it. So you're close enough for a walk. Yeah, I can walk over to the convention center and grab real quick and that's a good spot they got a huge amount of pretty nice toilets right they have tons of fucking toilets

and there's always something you could always go in there yeah because yeah there's always an event going on yeah it's smart yeah that. Yeah, that's good thinking. That's good thinking for somebody who has this issue. But I did. Yeah, I saw a lot of people commenting kind of like Brian. There must be something that Brian is doing, like too much toilet paper, maybe in there. I use a bidet. The way he said no there leads me to believe that he barely wipes.

You wipe here no no no i know at home you use a bidet of course but i'm saying when you're out like when you're clogging these toilets at these different places what is it that you're doing to make it happen because it's very hard to clog toilets with crap alone yeah that's what it is it's the because i courtesy flush too after every turn i've talked about this so you're clogging it with a single turn at some point something clogged holy shit but i always make sure lately i've been oh god i just yeah you'd be in so much trouble in a doomsday situation and an end of situation because you would just be filling up bags and bags of shit.

That might not be. Or STCs. What is that? Single turd cloggings. Yes. That might not be like the worst thing um if a complete governmental collapse use your own shit as a defense as leave the matrix okay i mean that's that i understand you're flinging it at people that's what they're talking about right flinging it playing it so much worse put a large deep ring of it around your property line so that flies and maggots build up around it it's amazing how

much of a deterrent growth can be to run people off and it's like bro you're living yeah you gotta live there yeah you still gotta live inside the maggot ring like yeah like are you at that point why not just die i'm moving out she's gonna live in this shit maggot ring use your shit as use your shit as defense is not it's so it's so crazy just like the idea of yeah like make your place so unlivable and horrible that no one would ever think somebody could live there. Yeah. Leave the Matrix also lets us know that a lot of people forget about hand-to-hand combat for that. I never do.

I never do. Oh, I know. For that, he has won a staff. So he's Donatello. Do you know what I have when I'm thinking hand-to-hand combat is i'll have a lighter so i can light a guy's cigarette and diffuse the situation no kevin that's from our everyday carry episode that's one of the guys had a lighter in his pocket he said that was the reason why so he could offer it to diffuse the situation yeah you light a cigarette uh this guy

also has a bat which is nice he also has a cane sword which is oh so it's like a sword but it's also a cane yeah it's like a cane you pull it out you do that that's smart in these times because you want to be you know hey multi-use things are going to be very good a bayonet he also has again five a machete he has a machete uh six various knives and then seven he has brass knuckle knives five knives attached to brass knuckles no this guy this person might be fucking around i don't know i've been kevin have you ever heard of brass knuckle knives no i haven't and like the last four things on his list were knife related so why not just say a variance of knives because

well he did even say that he said various knives and then he said other types of knives i've heard of the brass knuckles with the knife that comes out the side you know what i mean they're like brass knuckles and then a knife is coming out this way so you can like kind of slash people and punch them as well and yeah i mean that seems again just have a knife like you don't need to have brass knuckles on your on your hand if you have a knife you just stab the person slash them with the knife that freddy krueger brass knuckles on your hand yeah that's what this guy's wild imagine you get cut more than it's worth it with those it would depend on the if it was cold out you might not that's another another callback as well knuckles can openers

would probably be more effective in end of days like Like yes. For a can of food tube, like baked beans or something. Fuse a situation with some cold beads. Well, Mensa curmudgeon says, Oh, this guy, listen,

this guy's going to have a lot of smart things to say, but you might not like the way that they say them. This is, this is an incredible paragraph here for me. Shit can hit the fan in a variety of ways. When COVID hit and there were shortages, we grew strawberries and tomatoes on the roof deck. Used the fencing we had left over from our dog's puppy pen to cover the window. We draped blankets over them.

We only went out at 3 a.m to collect mail exercise the dog and throw away garbage we kept off any visible lights at night by the time we re-emerged our neighbors told us everyone thought we had moved victory why what is how come you acted that way like just to see if you could do like it was just a test for them or did they think that it was happening i don't know what it i thought most of these people wouldn't care as much about covid but they all care a lot about covid because it's a pandemic and they've been prepping for these these pandemics and stuff but I don't understand why these guys like acted like the whole world was on fire yeah I guess maybe I mean they are on this

forum right they are on this subreddit so I guess they have those tendencies probably would have been really smart for me to like go back to March 2020 and read some posts on this there we'll do that on guys plus sometimes yeah that's a good idea definitely uh ben jankowitz asked what's the best depiction of real world prepping you've seen in film tv show movie or even reality tv oh i like this i'm excited about this i was like a good film or tv Well, there's only one, and it's OK Salamander 8499. And he said, Ron Swanson, first of all, you're being made

fun of. Yeah. Right off the bat, he goes, hiding a bug-out bag in an air duct of City Hall, ready to disappear at a moment's notice of his ex-wife's presence. Yet another case of guys thinking Ron Swanson was an aspirational character and not a goof so ron swanson like for me is like he's my chuck norris you know also brian

exposing that he's not very canadian by saying goof so flippantly oh yeah of course yeah thank you kevin yes goof is a really horrible thing that you would you say about someone in prison actually around here so yeah interesting that you um claim to be such a canadian guy and you didn't realize that i'm just i love canada and you know what i didn't know that um it's not something my dad taught me when I was young growing up in Toronto. So this sounds like hell. Just you saying it with your accent is so funny. This sounds like hell. From XXTJCXX, off-grid days at home.

Summer holidays are coming up, and I was thinking that it could be a fun prep with the wife and kids to see how we manage without main's power and water for a day oh that could be fun no i'm sure they're i'm sure that the family's all really excited about that don't get the kids involved with this stuff just they're gonna be fine it's not gonna happen well actually just to play devil's advocate here brian the kids are the ones who are probably most likely to encounter this type of a scenario being that they of course live longer than us fair enough fair enough uh he goes uh basically switch the lot off for 24 hours and see how we get on we're not particularly geared up to be off the grid which oh okay so

you're this is not something that you've like discussed and is like something you okay so this is not going to be fun for anyone you're not ready for it you know and you're bringing your kids and your wife into this thing where you're turning off all the power one day though i will say one day that's you know one week that would be sort of cruel but one day is it could be kind of just a fun little thing you light some candles and you you know you just fucking remember that i don't know what you turned off a breaker yeah i don't know what you do i just realized i was like you light some candles and i was kind of i was out of ideas after that i don't really know what you do because

we're not particularly geared up to be off the grid so i think it would be a very useful lesson for us all to realize what we take for granted and what life might look like if the grid went down we're pretty keen campers so first of all they already do this for fun this isn't like some new but i i listen i kind of like that i'm sorry i know that we're supposed to hate these guys and but i kind of think this is taking for granted all of these things it is kind of a good exercise for people to say hey this is all the stuff that we take for granted and just you know for your mind or whatever i don't like taking things for granted yeah me too i would never do this shit myself but i do i sort of applaud him for doing it i'm i'm take things for granted guy if i was a type of guy it's guy that likes to take things for granted because i like convenience and a sex guy i'm not a sex guy

no i'm not a sex guy you got the gas doing it now i love that well because he's listened before and i've observed your behaviors and heard you on other shows like you are a guy that likes to you know get it on get it on yeah no no i it on. This is the part about it that sucks because I do like to get it on. The part about it that sucks is your damn freaking lips. The worst part of EOD is going to be trying to get to

Hedonism. Oh yeah, exactly. Brian's just going to be like, does anybody know if a boat to go to Jamaica, please? So I can do a three-way before I die. That's not what's going to happen. A. B.

I don't think hedonism's going to be running at the SHTF if the shit hits the fan. I kind of feel like it will be one of the last places that you could go and still have a good time. Maybe me and Tom and bunny can go over there and you know yeah tom and bunny tom and bunny dead day one if things go all right they're in that they're at i'm telling you you've never if you're not a patron or if you've never watched the stream uh we did a stream recently where we looked at a Des Moines,

Iowa swingers club. Yeah. Kevin, it's really quite these people, Tom and bunny. They do sex. They travel. I was going to say tourism,

but sex tourism is a different, it has really negative, but they, they like travel around the country, go to sex clubs and they are just like two classic swingers. And yeah, Brian, this place that we saw, travel around the country go to sex clubs and they are just like two classic swingers and yeah brian this place that we saw there's box fans everywhere and like it just the lighting was bad then then they go into what we've learned through tom and bunny which is nice we've learned that

playrooms are the most depressing places on the planet the playroom is where you go to have sex at the sex club and that when they ever they show them yeah this one had a rolling medical cart in it you know just like with a bunch of little like lubes and stuff on the side and it was just it looks like like a prison bed like a single oh it was really like somebody said it really sent a shiver down there like it really made them feel uncomfortable when they first showed it and i agree it was it seemed horror like definitely but to be clear tom and bunny taught that's what chris and i learned from them but brian you've kind of known that for years because of your involvement yeah brian oftentimes kevin will

be watching this stuff and i'm just like well what the heck's going on here and brian's just like well that's a you know that's a firm holder that's where you you know that's the thing that holds up your nuts while you're getting a blow job or whatever at the blow job bar and i'm like i've never heard of any of that 10 grand in lego and like 1500 of that is all pineapple based oh yeah he's got all of these apples a question pineapple sheets at his house well that is true i do have pineapple sheets it's a little bit it does not bode well for me and also ariel my girlfriend who i live with she put the mod upside down and took a photo and posted it yeah and so it did it didn't look good for me um but yeah listen the pineapples i have a right side up

non-swinger sheets they can still be uh so anna scrabba from our preppers had a question that i thought maybe we would we would dive into here. And the subject line is sour cream and mayonnaise. Okay, I like where this is headed. So I ran out of sour cream and busted out my powdered Hoosier Hill Farm sour cream powder. Oh, Hoosier Farms. That has been sitting in a spare refrigerator for a few years. It's shelf stable and only expired in October 2021.

This is from seven days ago, by the way. Okay. So I got that going for me. Anyway, it did not go well. Started with just a small amount of water and kept adding the powder. More and more, I gave up on this lumpy, runny mess, which leads me to have concerns of a potential great apocalypse and not having any sour cream or, God forbid, no mayo.

Okay, so... Giving up on this lumpy, runny mess. My ex-wife tells people that this is this is this person's just gonna have to die again i'm sorry to say like if you're concerned with like oh i can't have my mayo or sour cream you're dead you fucking die i'm sorry the world is no longer for you at these end of days is there such a thing as canned runny sour cream or mayo i suppose i could learn to make mayo just eggs and oil in a blender right does anybody do that or just you don't have to eat it it's not an essential food what are you gonna put it on when you're in this situation root vegetables yeah

yeah that's what i'm saying you're just gonna be yeah that's this is this person's got to die i know and you just can't be worried about the mayo when moon lambo says i have freeze-dried sour cream and it's awesome get a freeze get a freeze dryer i got like five to six buckets that were five pounds each at a restaurant depot on clearance and freeze dried all of them so this guy has five or six bus buckets of sour cream so he's gonna you think he'll be kind of popular i guess with the with the taco and burrito crowd you're having tacos and burritos i looked at these fucking buckets yesterday i looked at several of the buckets and i'll get i'll get some up here because like i was looking at at the buckets and uh i think i would i will say this i think kevin would be good during end of days. And that is because I know that he knows how to shoot a gun.

Yes. No, you do. So he knows how to write there. That's my gun case. I hunt and fish. I'm not like a, yeah,

he's like hunts and fish is not like trophy hunting either. Like proper, good, good hunting. And for the right reason for meat and stuff like that. But yeah, so Kevin, I think would be somebody that I would go to. I have meat and stuff like that. But yeah, so Kevin, I think, would be somebody that I would go to.

I have a few people like that. My other big friend that I mentioned who takes the, he also has a firearm license, has his firearm, hunts and does things like that as well. And it's kind of the closest to a doomsday prepper that I would know. But yeah, there's definitely people I think about. That's my doomsday prepping that I would know. But yeah, there's definitely people I think about. That's my doomsday prepping is thinking about like, who would I go to immediately if things hit the fan?

I'm not going to prepare myself, but I'll probably head over to my friend Tim's place or Kevin's place and just be like, okay, what are we going to do here? You know, us together. Oh, sorry. Go ahead. it feels like like i don't i don't know about kevin but me and chris both live in the city i mean basically our only hope is that like the people that live around us decide to be normal and work together to make

that's what i've always felt i've always just felt like well if the end of the world comes i'm not going to be fucking prepared for it oh i don't i don't put things away and stuff like that uh but i'll live in a place and hopefully be able to you know but do you have people like i'm saying do you have like you have specific people in your life that you think of like this person will be prepared for it my friends are idiots like none of them yeah see that i i have i definitely have some who so so that's the wild thing about i mean of course it's i don't think in our lifetime but you know we laugh at at your in-laws or whatever and talk about them in this like portable classroom that they're living in but at the end of the day you may be going to them if things did get wild i did i'll say this on 9-11 what on 9-11 i did go to my in-laws house i went home from work you thought 9-11 yeah it was like uh you thought it was like happening dude i went to get gas that day which

it's kind of like it was six dollars a gallon because it looked like it was the end of the world and it went down to the normal price the day after on 9-12 it was back to the normal price but i had i was so broke at the time had to fill a 79 Nova up with fucking $6 a gallon gas. And then I went to my in-law's house and we were talking. And I was like, well, we can build these booby traps. Because he had like this book of booby traps that he got from his ex-marine. And then Brian's. And then they had to calm the whole situation.

Because they're like, no, Brian, booby traps is a different. Let's not get, you know, I can see your pants getting shorter over there not right not right well i looked up these ones right and it's called four patriots four week food basket right so this is you know one month this will give you one month or Patriots four week emergency food supply survival kit. Perfect for camping freeze dried preparedness food designed to last 25 years. Be ready with 192 servings of delicious breakfast, lunch, and dinner. So I go down to the Q and a part where, you know, they can mix it up. The, the people that buy the stuff can mix it up. The people that buy the stuff can mix it up with the people that make this stuff, which I just realized this week.

And that's going to become a thing now permanently on guys because I like this. It goes, how are three packages going to last 72 hours? Okay. So the big complaint here is that they have each package or three packages last 72 hours so like you have servings for four and three packages which isn't gonna work unless there's four or something he goes uh how are three packages gonna last 72 hours and he goes common sense would say cook only what you need option a would be to eat one third each package a day which seems like a lot you know which the directions in directions indicate is one cup one cup oatmeal for breakfast one cup of mac and cheese for lunch and one cup of creamy rice and vegetables for dinner

that would equal 72 hours aka three days are going to eat all of your creamy rice? Can I have a little bit of your creamy rice? I'm very hungry. Yeah. And it goes, all the four Patriots packing has the issue of storing after cooking. Dividing the packages into portions is a problem because some of the contents tend to settle on the bottom of the package so you have different results with each serving the meals have way too much salt and too little protein my solution i have a solar powered frig fridge oh no that's spelled frig i can show you guys that it's this guy needs to like show things you know he like needs to defend himself with screenshots these days yeah yeah so anyway i look at the one star reviews for this and uh here's here's one here uh this is from texas pete which i think i do want to say just quickly maybe people did think i'm living

in canada so that's why it was like funny to me thinking 9-11 was like the end of times you know no i i it was a gross exaggeration okay because i don't know what i don't know what it was like maybe people in america are listening and like no that's what it felt like or whatever but to me it was funny and also i was in high school 11 was funny oh no that's not what i meant that's not what i meant i didn't that's not what i meant that's not what i meant that's not what i meant that's not what i meant on top of all the wars that it started to i mean you know we're looking at a million or so people dying no i did not mean that 9-11 was funny do not print in your newspaper all that day i didn't think it was funny at all i was nervous i went out my girlfriend suggested we get married so that because she thought there

was going to be a draft and that i would be drafted into the army same same here same here we were we were talking about getting drafted do not print in your newspaper that i said 9 11 was funny there was also the the funniest thing for me for 9 11 like, so I lived on the east side of Columbus, Ohio. There's nothing here. There's fucking there is absolutely nothing here of any strategic importance at all. But there is a decommissioned air base called Rickenbacker Air Base. Right. And my wife also worked at a place for Medicare where she was.

And like they got evacuated because they were like what if they decide to bomb all the federal buildings and that's Medicare and I was like they're gonna bomb they're gonna bomb Rickenbacker and and when I think about it now it's like nobody in Afghanistan is thinking about how they're gonna take down a random air base in Columbus Ohio so it was just a weird day, you know? And I just was like, I'm going over to my in-laws house.

Weird, not funny, weird and not funny at all. Definitely nothing funny about it. That was definitely a misspoke. The only funny part about nine 11 is Steve ran as easy pretending that he was in it, which is extremely funny.

And the fact that he lied about it for 17 years, and that's funny. Yeah. So, so Texas Pete, one star, extremely disappointed. Based on previous use of their food and their reputation for quality product, I was really looking forward to making future purchases from four Patriots. In fact, I have another order arriving within one week. But when I open this container to take inventory, imagine my dismay when I see a loose powder at the bottom of the container.

And then upon further inspection, a noticeable slice in one of the packages. At least it was a slice and not made from a rat nibble. I will close inspect all remaining packages now though, but I am now very worried about my second delivery arriving 100% intact. I'm so incredibly pissed off that I will look at August and ReadyWise and ReadyHour products more closely now. Not able to return or get a refund. So yeah, right now this is poor roi um matthew says uh no returns content spilled out upon arrival the bin was open inside the shipping box and food packages were spilled out

would not recommend so it seems like four patriots has a quality control problem you should you should you got to take refunds you have to if you send somebody a product and it's all spilled out, you know, and the packaging's all broken and it spilled everywhere, you got to give them a refund. And is it for Patriots? Is that F-O-R or is it for like it's a print song? It's the number four, Patriots. But it's also for Patriots.

It is. It's probably run by four Patriots, four guys who are patriotic and it's also four patriots and when they thought of the name they all like looked at each other like at the same time and they're like we got it fellas all just a ton of idiots it's just that's what you really see when you're looking through these guys like it's just like here's another one here uh i feel like all any all anyone's gonna talk about is how i said 9-11 was funny i know i shouldn't bring it up again because it's sort of making it more of a thing but god well you know the way that people reacted was in different places like if i'm in new york

i get it but people in like columbus Ohio were also panicking, which is silly. Like that's nothing's going to happen. Would you say that it's funny? No, I wouldn't. Dave, not what you think. This 72 hour pack comes in three packages, breakfast, lunch and dinner. The directions are for making all of your food at the same time. For example, making 72 hours worth of dinner at one time instead of this food, purchase freeze dried like Mountain House or stock up on cans, Kraft Mac and cheese, etc.

Your taste buds will thank you. So these guys are also eating this stuff. Yeah, so they're eating it to see what the good stuff is so they know what to buy a lot of buckets of. So they're testing out this bullshit, horrible end of days food. And do not buy multiple punctured bags from Damien Y. I really wanted to like this product and plan to buy more.

When box came, I opened it. I found five separate pouches punctured in the tub. Tub was full of material from the damaged pouches. You cannot return. Truly disappointed. I love this. separate pouches punctured in the tub tub was full of material from the damaged pouches you cannot return truly disappointed i love this i i need to start looking for no refunds no return really yeah you know because that's so funny i mean that is for us i mean listen i these people are stupid for buying this stuff maybe you could say that but it doesn't mean that this company should get you can't send someone a product that has a you know like a broken packaging and stuff spilled

everywhere and then just not take it back well yeah cloudy one eth which is ethereum that's a crypto guy which seems like wasting your money on crypto as a doomsday. It's kind of an odd thing. I don't know. Is there a lot of crossover? Like people who don't want to use like, you know, regular currency or whatever? I don't think so. Because I don't think you're going to be able to use that crypto.

Power goes out. And EOD, you're not going to be using that crypto on anything. You're SOL. EOD, you're SOL. And that means shit out of luck for everybody. And guess what? You're not going to be selling your NFTs. Yes. That's another one of the things.

No returns, not for 72 hours, not perfect for camping. Designed to last 25 years, yet not able to be returned despite all the false advertising because it's a, quote, perishable item. Claims to be perfect for camping. Designed to last 25 years, yet not able to be returned despite all the false advertising because it's a, quote, perishable item. Claims to be perfect for camping. How is it perfect to eat all your oatmeal on the first day? Well, it's what you'd have to do since all oatmeal is in one resealable package that can't stand on its own. Same goes for the mac and cheese and the vegetable dinner. Claims to be for 72 hours for that to be true you'd have to gorge on oatmeal the first day wait 30 hours have the mac and cheese for lunch then have the vegetable dinner 30 hours later claims to be for patriots how patriotic is it to lie about your product and then prevent unhappy customers from being able to return so uh that's not very patriotic in my opinion no it's also not patriotic

you know to say 9-11 was cool or funny or whatever it was you said i didn't say it was cool i said it was funny yes cool i guess thank you very much do not misquote me i said that 9-11 it was funny not helping not helping yourself ch. Not helping yourself, Chris. Not helping yourself. But, yeah, that seems to be a problem, though, for all of our buckets. So, roundhouse provisions, emergency food supply bucket, 76 serving bucket. That's a lot of servings. I got to tell you.

We like it. And let's see the problem with these. The meals look terrible. Rice and gruel. Sounds like the famous Jim Baker survival buckets. Eight people found this helpful. So, yeah, the roundhouse are also the same. Most of these buckets have ripped stuff on the inside.

Ooh. I would think that you would but i guess they they probably went cheap on the packaging but because you would want to have these you'd want to have the really good packaging that would be able to resist a lot for this type of a product and it's interesting because like i didn't i always thought the buckets were like full of something but the buckets are full of packets of stuff you know what i mean yeah you thought you're picturing like the bucket just having a bunch of slop right in it well yeah i picture it all as slop by the way i see a lot of these people do the five star reviews and say that it actually tastes good but i just don't i don't believe that it actually tastes good 100 it doesn't yeah it tastes like shit it's just like

somebody being like well i guess uh it's better than i expect it like you know like i expected like some of the stuff i've had before like actually tasted like shit yeah and it seems like these guys go camping to test it out instead of just like you know getting it in the house because i'm looking emergency food to food supply let's look at this 13 different meals you get creamy vegetable rice santa fe style beans with rice chicken flavored teriyaki with rice mexican flavored chicken fried rice chicken flavored vegetables chicken flavored vegetable stew chicken flavored vegetable stew yeah okay tomato basil soup that's not i just had some tomato basil soup yesterday why are you eating soup in the summertime fuck off

you don't eat soup in the summertime i'm sorry that's very strange i apologize i don't mean to be an ass i just i would never eat tomato basil i may maybe gazpacho um i would never have a gazpacho i would never eat a cold soup personally you wouldn't nope here's here's a review would give zero stars if i could oh we love these these are some of our favorites kevin when it's like they make a point of mentioning i if i could give what zero i would well he goes would give zero stars if i could no negative five stars oh my fucking that's way worse it's bad negative five is bad negative five is one of the worst i've ever heard somebody say they want to give and he goes uh these have no meat

they require you to buy a separate bucket with pouches of chicken and beef and whatnot so that they can make these meals appear cheaper than other emergency preparedness meals. It's deceitful and shady. They also were out of the lunches and dinner buckets, so I ordered, and they just decided to ship me the cheaper meal kits with less food, and much of it being servings of orange juice and milk, all while still charging me for the more expensive buckets. They didn't ask if I wanted the replacement. They just shipped me the heavy tubs of crap.

So you're saying, is he saying that the company that is shipping people buckets of fucking dried food for when the world comes to an end is not totally above board and is trying to maximize profits and capitalize off of people's stupidity? and is trying to maximize profits and capitalize off of people's stupidity well he goes they just shipped me the heavy tubs of crap i didn't want and made me haul the tubs to the ups store to return it that's funny that's fucking funny it's so funny having to haul these big giant buckets to return them at least you can return them though. Yeah, yeah. Aaron Cody says, don't pin your chances of survival on this bucket. Huge bucket, but when you break the seal, a few

slim packets of dry crap. So here is a how bad is it? The box this product should really read, in case of emergency, only open and consume the product after you have already bent over and kissed your ass goodbye.

The food is not just bad. It's horrible. Made by the quote wise company. I would consider consuming any more of this product. You guessed it. Unwise. Oh, man. The wordplay on that.

That is 9-11 funny oh stop it stop after i carefully followed the instructions to properly prepare this product that still ranks up there with the worst i had ever seen or tasted now i grant you that i did not expect anything as good as my mother's home cooking when i placed the order for this grossly overpriced product. I didn't even expect cooking as bad as my own, but this product does not fail to disappoint. And my judgment, this product sets a new standard for bad. Wait, what? That was such a confusing sentence. I didn't even expect it as bad as my own, but like he got a little he really confused i essentially saying it tastes bad though it tastes bad and it it is it if he tried to because this i here's what i think this

guy's like my father-in-law he doesn't know how to cook anything literally my mother-in-law cooks everything for him like he doesn't know how to brown a hamburger like he doesn't do any cooking at all so if he would so if she left or stopped being with him he would die yeah he would have to figure something out you'd have to order food or whatever yeah he'd probably eat out of food buckets to tell you the truth because the thing he always said and this drives my wife nuts is we would spend i would i would smoke pork shoulders and take them over there and you know that's a 13 hour you know you're it's a real it's it's a passion thing that you do and we get them over there and we'd be like so everybody would like oh this is so amazing it's so great they'd ask my father-in-law what he thought and he goes uh it'll make a turd so yeah it's like not a compliment really because all food makes turns yeah he just sort of thinks

of it as like fuel he's saying hey they'll give me the nutrients and fuel that i need that's a similar guy i look up to a lot thinks that way as well um his name is vince mcmahon ceo of just wrestling pony con and also by the way i also i just want to clarify i don't actually like vince mcmahon he's a really horrible man today i said 9-11's funny and i love vince mcmahon yeah yeah evil. It's evil, Chris. So how bad is bad, you ask? Well, my answer is I've never wondered how bad something a frog would spit out actually is. Wait, what? Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. This is, can we go back and just read this whole, all as one, not interrupt it?

Just so we can hear. This is one of the great reviews of anything. Let's listen to this. The box with this product should really read, in case of emergency, only open and consume product after you have already bent over and kissed your ass goodbye. The food is not just bad, it's horrible. Made by the quote wise company, I would consider consuming any more of this product, you guessed it, unwise. So we're good, right?

Like he's doing this. Now we get it. We get it so far. Like so far, I understand what he's saying. All right, here we go. This is where the puzzle starts. After I carefully followed the instructions to properly prepare this product, it still ranks up there with the worst. Still makes sense.

I have never. So here's what he does. It still comes as a worse. And here's where it gets confusing. He puts an exclamation point after the worst. Okay. So it says the worst exclamation point I have ever seen or tasted, period. That's where it gets confusing, right?

period. That's where it gets confusing, right? And now I grant you that I did not expect anything as good as my mother's home cooking when I placed the order for this grossly overpriced product. I didn't even expect cooking as bad as my own, but this product does not fail to disappoint. So it's very confusing. It does not fail to disappoint. So it's very confusing. Does not fail to disappoint. That's like a triple negative. It's very difficult to understand. He's saying his cooking's bad and this cooking is worse. Yes, yes, yes. And my judgment, this product sets a new standard bad.

So how bad is bad, you ask? Well, my answer is I have never wondered how bad something a frog would spit out actually is. So he's saying I've never sat around and thought, like, what would it take for a frog to spit out some food? Neither have I. I never even considered it. They eat flies, though. So, yeah. never they eat flies though so yeah um but were i to take the time to ponder just what a frog would spit out i would start with the unwise purchase i made from the wise company he's

going back to that wise well again he loves the wise stuff if something works you guys and honestly it's like he couldn't believe that it's like when he when he's like this is so bad and then he looks at the like name of the company and it's the wise company and he's just like what the fuck like okay i am using this like i have got to highlight this it's like um i've noted this over like the five past five or six weeks. If you go on Amazon and you take the type of guy we're doing, uh, this week it's preppers and you say, uh, prepper Bible and you go on Amazon, there will always be a prepper Bible or a Bible for the thing you're doing. And every time the one star reviews are all,

and they have the nerve to call this a Bible. This is not a Bible. Religious people getting upset about it. Yeah. If anyone needs further clarification, I would simply say, I'm glad these products have a 25 year shelf life. And I trust it will take me at least that long to forget how bad this quote

food actually is. Do you remember when your parents used to say, if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all. Keeping that in mind, I will say to the positive, the picture on the package is nicest picture I have ever seen on one of the worst food items I have ever tasted. This is one of my favorite. What's this person's name? I cut the name off somehow. We need to give this guy a really long review, so I can't see the name, but I think I can find it.

Okay, yeah, we need to. We need to give this person credit because they are a great reviewer. So now we get into capital letters. Truth in advertising. This product will be labeled as follows. In case of dire emergency, when your life is at risk from starvation, you will still deeply regret having chosen this meal as your last. 258 people found this helpful.

Wow. Okay. So people agree with me that he's a great reviewer and agree with him 61 i think now yeah absolutely i gotta i'll find him and we'll get him on guys plot wow won't get him on guys because he'll join tony k from vancouver as one of the great reviewers of our time right you know if you if you haven't heard tony k go back to the yelp guys episode he's one tony k david the shark and michael noland are my three favorite guys well kevin would would appreciate the tony k as well because he of course he doesn't live in vancouver but he did

before and he lives in the lower mainland so he lives close enough that he will know these places that he's talking about and he will be able to understand how outrageous the claims that this man is making are. He doesn't like rock and roll, which is a huge problem. He basically always claims that there's a horrible, loud rock and roll music in every place he goes, like meat and bread or something you know

and the water's too cold and the water's too cold that's an issue as well right he gets upset it makes his tum tum upset yeah well that is preppers we'll do more of this stuff on guys plus there was so much guys it was crazy um but uh kevin you have an album coming out. Tell people where to find you and it. I have a special coming out video and audio on July 28th. It's called Heavy Favorite. And it'll be available on KevinBanner.com or my YouTube page, which is Banner Comedy. And anywhere that you buy albums and listen to them with your your

whole but i buy my i buy my albums from a guy in a van and out behind my building so i'm hopeful that he has them um he's mostly got a lot of older stuff right now uh but i hey i gotta vouch for kevin because maybe some of y'all don't know him and i know brian doesn't even know him i know him well i know him probably better than just said he had an album and it's uh it's a special so that was fucking humiliating for everyone involved but uh kevin is fucking hilarious stand up he's a great comedian so uh check out his special check out his stuff go watch him and also i want to say that i appreciate kevin did prep he went and read up about preppers i mean it's a little you know a little ironic but he prepped for the prep uh episode night do we do appreciate that as well so yeah somebody preps for the episode

it's really sick and it's not expected just to be clear if you're listening to this and you've been on an episode, we didn't expect you to prep. I don't want anyone who was a guest to feel bad, unless it's Stefan. Yeah, I want Stefan to feel bad. He should feel bad. Sometimes John, I think.

John should feel bad. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Well, we'll see you next week with... Nope, not even going to say it because I don't know yet. Actually, it's probably going to say it because I don't know yet I don't actually it's probably right going to be a weather guys which I think is a very odd thing I

chose but we're doing it goodbye bye