Guys: With Bryan Quinby - Guys: Episode 33 - Productivity Guys with Bita Joudaki

Episode Date: September 26, 2023

This week on Guys we look at the hardest workers there are, productivity guys.  We learn about Dopamine levels and several other levels. We checked in with Dan Pena to learn how much time per week we are supposed to work.  I made up a game and I finally tricked the players Chris James is on twitter at twitter.com/thecjs on youtube at youtube.com/notevenashow Bita is on Twitter at twitter.com/bitajoudaki And there is more Guys content on patreon.com/murderxbryan so come and pay me $5 to find guys. you can also get the Sunday Night Stream at Twitch.tv/murderxbryan

Welcome to Guys, a podcast about guys. I am Brian and I'm sick, but I came in with such energy that i think we're gonna be okay i have with me is mr too much dopamine chris i'm not sure what that kind of intro is but also that's kind of unprofessional as well to be like hey i'm sick like just you came and you're doing it so i think you know it's good that you're here in the name of productivity, because it's like, sometimes you got to push through, even if you are not feeling well, you got to, you got to show up to work. Is that, is that safe to say? Yeah. Last week we're recording these out of order. So I'm going to say something so stupid,

but last week I was not sick. Okay. So you're saying that because you know the next one that we're recording is coming out before and you are hopeful that by the next recording time which is tomorrow, you will be feeling better and that's you sort of talking to yourself. Okay. And as a

guest, we have writer and comedian Bitta Judaki. And you said it wrong. And you said it wrong even though, and I want everyone to know that she and I both said it moments before. I apologize.

Bita Judaki. It's obviously for a guy who like Brian. It's a more difficult name, but yeah, I do want everyone listening to know that he said it to him less than two minutes ago. It's okay. Immediate forgiveness, Brian, immediate forgiveness. I am the worst host in the world. No, I am really. It's not really.

in the world. No, I ain't, really. It's not really much greater. Yeah, I mean, the way you said it was pretty, yeah, it was like not even really close or anything like that. No, no, it's okay. I mispronounce names all the time, so don't worry.

The reason I called Chris Mr. Too Much Dopamine is these guys believe that we all get way too much dopamine. Who's these guys? Oh we all get way too much dopamine who's these guys oh guys we're talking product oh shit right yeah the guys who are the focal point of the episode um now yeah i forgot even that you do that brian that you sort of use your newfound knowledge to introduce me i was was really confused by that intro. So what do they mean you get too much dopamine? Okay. Well, let's find out. From Ross Ryder on the

Our Productivity subreddit, we're going to learn about his seven-day dopamine fast. We're going to do all seven days. We're just going to do day one. I want to do this, actually. I think this would be good for me. Are you serious? Yeah. I read it and I was like, there's no... I want more dopamine than I get.

I want the most amount. No, no. But if you fast for seven days, then you're going to feel amazing. It's the same as if you don't do some like smoke weed or whatever for you know a period of time and then you come back to it it's just like boom that hit feels so much better so yeah i agree this kind of would be cool when you feel that first little hit of dopamine after a seven day hiatus hell yeah so before i start reading, flubs don't count this week because I'm not feeling well. Flubs, B to R, that's when Brian makes a mistake.

And there's like a big subset of listeners, maybe even the majority of listeners, that are part of a group called the Flubheads. And they basically live for the flubs. And every time he does a good one, Matt Diamond, I think he did recently instead of Matt Damon. September Fish instead of September Fish was a good one. They have not stopped with September Fish every day. Somebody's like, what day did it happen? September Fish?

Yeah, September Fish was a great one. So, yeah, the Flubheads will go crazy. They'll start hammering on the table and chanting the club, flub, flub, flub. So if we do see one or hear one, then we will celebrate it. Okay, shout out to the Flubheads. I like them. I hate them. If we do see one or hear one, then we'll celebrate it. Shout out to the Flubheads. I like them. Here's the first rule.

No social media. Already out. That would be so hard for me. I don't know what I would do. I just sit and stare at a wall. This is a good... It's more. I mean, this is a good... I feel like these are...

We're laughing at it, and it is funny for someone like me to even think of that, too. But it's probably... That at least is a good suggestion. You know, taking that time off would probably improve your life in a lot of ways. Oh, my God. Hell yeah, it would. There are times where

I try to remember what the world was like before social media. Like I try to remember, like you would go to the DMV or whatever waiting for your license and like you would just not have anything to do. Right. Yeah. I mean, I wouldn't because I i think yeah because well no i just mean that like no i just mean that when i was age enough to go to the dmv then social media was the thing pretty much you know so there's like a little bit i think you do like brian aren't that much a different age but it's it's during that time where but i i do i do recall what it was like it i think it's hard to say because I was a kid. Do you know what I mean?

So my life was better and I had no responsibilities. I just like, you know, I had, yeah, it was. So it's hard to compare the two. Right. Brian, are you American? Sorry, are you American? Yeah, I'm from Columbus, Ohio. Oh, okay.

Okay, cool. Well, I'm also Canadian too. Oh, okay. Yeah, thank you for asking that, actually, by the way, because he tries to claim, you can see he's wearing a Toronto Blue Jays hat, right? Oh, right. He went to Toronto one single time

and now he claims to be a Canadian person and he says he's more Canadian than me. So actually getting him on air, on the record, asking him, are you an American? And him saying yes is huge for me profile even says it says canadian it says uh toronto la he also claims to be a los angeles guy yeah okay this includes youtube facebook instagram reddit Okay. This includes YouTube, Facebook, Instagram, Reddit, Discord, et cetera. I'm only allowed to use social media for business and content creation. Ha ha.

Ha ha ha. All right, cheater. Okay. Well, yeah, come on. He's like, okay, so I'm just going to talk to this person. And at the end of the message, he says something about dividends or whatever. And then he includes it as part of the business. That's bullshit. Yeah.

I can do this. I'll be like like but i can still be on twitter yeah for business i'm making content okay then i'm back in then i'm back in baby sounds great i'm making content and i have to watch these youtube videos in order to have content to make for you guys and i guess me as well, I'm just saying, yeah, it's the same sort of thing where it's like, yeah, we could actually say, hey, we're still doing business now when we're watching YouTube videos and or doing social media.

It's perfect. I will also eliminate texting. I'm only allowed to text friends and family in order to meet up with them or set up phone calls and video calls. so normal texting that's right yeah so i'm only allowed to do any and all texting only with family and also friends and all of my best friends if it's business related then you have to be able to do it. So funny. What about voice notes? I,

he didn't mention that, but I am guessing. No, you're allowed to do that. As long as it's friends, family, somebody you're in business with someone you met once or a family member of someone you're in business. Number two,

no digital entertainment. This includes Netflix, TV, video games, and any other form of digital entertainment this includes netflix tv video games and any other form of digital entertainment which he clarifies later on his podcast too so okay so what can so what's not digital what's not final so be the you're suggesting to entertain yourself that you sing for yourself. Yeah, you can sing. You can dance. You can read, obviously. You can read.

Reading is. Dream. Yeah, you can dream. They can't take that away from you ever. You can always dream. No drugs and alcohol. I don't do drugs and I rarely drink alcohol, so this should be easy. Okay.

Probably he probably, I bet you, I bet you when he has alcohol, I bet he imbibes. I bet on whiskey. Seems like a whiskey guy. I also bet MDMA doesn't count for this guy. Yeah, it's small amounts of psychedelics. Yeah, and it helps with productivity, microdosing mushrooms. He's like, starts like making all these allowances. Obviously like, yeah, methamphetamines and stuff

that help you with productivity. Obviously. I like this guy. No processed foods. This includes artificial sugars, chocolate, ice cream, deep fried food. I love that he's just, there's so many foods that he can yeah i think he's just saying the ones that he struggles with you know it's just a list of a 12 year old's favorite foods furthermore

i will be intermittent fasting and only eating one meal per day okay congrats yeah that doesn't sound healthy yeah that's awesome you eat a french fry it's like fireworks going off in your head oh yes i'm feeling so good yeah yeah yeah that's so cool here's number five here is no porn i don't okay well here comes a lie i don't watch porn so this should be easy then why put it in the thing yeah i don't know i mean i'm suspicious i guess there probably are people depending on the age you know when you get older you're not really needing to watch porn all the time i don't think so i think there are people who don't watch porn probably but i don't know if this guy is probably not one of them.

Well, he does clarify as part of this category, I will also include any sort of sexual gratification that is unnatural, such as scrolling through pictures of attractive women on social media. Oh, I see. So now he's going through the ways he does it. Now he's going through his loopholes and how he manages to jail. Yeah. He's just like you

cannot like yeah you're not allowed to maybe this is an instance where you're not allowed to dream as well oh depending on if your dream is appropriate or not that does seem not like natural unnatural but i guess he wasn't talking about like he wasn't being like christian there right he was just talking about like he wasn't talking about like he wasn't being like christian there right he was just talking about like he wasn't talking about sex there right it seems like he can i think he's just doesn't want a nut you know what i mean like i think so edging edging is allowed well brian brian knows a lot about that but oh no i don't want to know about it. I know. Nobody does it yet. He talks about it all the time. I never get pissed about it.

It's because it's really funny, actually. I asked Bita if she wanted to come on and she's like, oh, let me just like listen to an episode as long as it's not scary. And I was like, just don't listen to the sex guys episode. She's like, that's the one I'm listening to. I already started. So in that episode, yeah, edging, we decided that's what makes you a sex guy. When you start edging, that's where you cross over to being a sex guy. So that's why we have a stupid thing that some people hate where we accuse each other of being a sex guy all the time. Is that like an embarrassing thing to be?

No, not not necessarily but apparently um to some people i mean not to my not to another guy no name tom from tom and bunny oh okay that guy for people who don't watch the stream we found out that tom from tom and bunny injected his dick with boner stuff and it also took a hundred milligrams of viagra at the same time he was telling this story he's a sex guy who him and his wife go around to sex clubs and make YouTube videos about it. And yeah, he told this story. It was one of the scariest, worst stories I've ever heard in my life because he took it from some guy that he just met and he hadn't heard of it before. And then he just injected himself with it.

Oh, my God. Into his penis. Yes. and then he was hard for four and a half hours and he said he had sex for four and a half hours and anyways let's let's get it a product how to game how to game here here's this i i got this for you i am dino 87. He has a question. He needs advice. He's had a game without dopamine mess up. What is dopamine mess up? Like just, just the dopamine getting in the way you get too much dopamine and everything. You can't be productive because everything's boring.

He's asking this guy that made the list. Is he asking this fasting guy he's just asking the our productivity reddit oh oh i see which is also a bad choice i mean any advice they give you is not gonna be good yeah some of them i mean obviously they do have the upvote system but yeah but a lot of them are going to be explicitly trolling you and giving you incorrect answers this guy this this question is so funny one of my life goals is to get really good at rocket league so okay listen that's not that funny that's not that funny it's actually a really challenging game and it has a lot of physics involved in it it does

happen to me my favorite video game as well and um it is a very cool game and there are there is like really high level like you can play professionally and it's like one of the best spectator video game sports because it's like cars hitting balls um so you can't see it in real life but it's so this guy i'm really with sorry nothing excuse me excuse me lego lego says what? I don't know what you're talking about. Brian's a Lego guy. Well, yeah, but I only do 18 and upset. Yeah, yeah. No, that's really cool.

I like Lego and I like this game you're talking about. So I play two hours each day at least. The problem is that it seems to mess with my drive to stay on point in other areas it's like my brain can't handle quote less fun tasks and activities is there a way to be an avid gamer without messing up my dopamine receptors or whatever this is a heavy duty gaming question right here. Well, Master Felix did come with an answer. Okay. I had a gaming addiction for about 10 years.

I found that I cannot play awesome games and be productive at the same time. My solution is I only allow myself to play very shitty free to play games that automatically make me want to stop playing after 20 minutes or so that's really smart yeah i don't know like yeah i don't know if that is that does just on the surface level seem like a good idea i think that's a good idea i i would do that i don't know i think playing boring games is a waste of time yeah yeah you you have to not i guess like i don't know it's like i think you have to not game if you're not able to stop yourself from gaming then i think you just have to cut the games out probably but yeah i mean this is maybe a situation where you're saying if you can't if you absolutely can't like me this is what i do you know yeah also well my wife

my wife plays free games all day and night. Like it doesn't matter if they're shitty or whatever. Right. It's just addiction. Addiction to the screen. Yeah. Also productivity wars.com might be the gamification that allows you to connect gaming with productivity.

Yeah. Motivation from it. Yes. Yes. Like, um, like that, that language one one i forget the name oh duolingo yeah yeah i got into that for a few weeks and then i was like you know what never mind

oh uh so that was that let's check in with one of our because we got to learn about how much time you should be working in a week okay this is this is helpful for me because i work i work for myself i do my own thing so i do have to sort of figure out you know how much work should i be putting into a week to keep that like work-life balance because you know you get overworked this is hard for me so i could use some advice even for behind the scenes me and chris have sort of worked out our schedule so that we work hard for three weeks and then not hard for three weeks and just to be clear i i have my other full thing that i do so i have to i have to be continuing to work the entire time but i brian works b Brian works a lot harder than I do on this podcast.

So here we go. Dan Pena, listen, there's going to be some foul language here. There's nothing we can do about it. That's Dan. That's okay. Here we go. There's no such thing as work-life balance. No!

Okay, hang on. So he just, so he, I said, I need to learn about work-life balance he opens by saying there is no sense in his work-life balance period i'm fucked oh no he's he's absolutely he's asking me to leave the seminar he's i'm asking that question he's fucking he i'm i'm look if you know dan pena if i ask that question i'm lucky if i'm not getting the shit kicked out of me by him physically he is angry here we go you guys know him like well we know him in the sense that we've watched his stuff before but i've never met him personally oh i'd love to go see him live i really would but it costs a lot of money because he's really in high demand for these fucking weirdos he's got this real big kind of following online you know

because of you'll hear he's he's like he's pretty funny you know like the way he talks about it and some of these guys like this stuff he owns a castle a castle a castle that people pay like five figures to go to a seven day wow seminar in this massive castle and get screamed at. He just screams at you in a castle and it costs so much money. People love to be yelled at. And in a castle, like in a castle, think of the acoustics.

Yes, exactly. It would sound so good. It would reverberate around. Well, that's what, and yeah, like he he i think that product a key thing about productivity guys is they like to sort of be talked down to and scream yes yes

because elon musk's talks musk's elon musk's i'm sick that's not and that's not a big enough that's not a big enough one we because he that's a flubby. That's not a big enough one. Because he makes so many now, we have to wait for the big ones to really bounce on. Do we do anything? Do we humiliate him in any way? Yes, we start going, flub, flub. Oh, right.

We start chanting it, yeah. So he goes, Elon Musk talks about how he sleeps six hours a night and then he works the whole rest of the time right through the week and he never and i'm sure he does he's a liar he says he only takes two days off a year we got a video of him too of people talking to him too let's check that seems so bad like such a bad life he said yeah no i'm yeah his work is the same as like i work but like i'm not tired when i get done from work you know what i mean i'm just reading subreddits and stuff it's not a not a huge fucking deal so what's dan gotta say here about the work-life balance just fucking do it. Subscribe now.

There are no part-time high-performance people. Even the guys that have jobs that you've talked to, like the Viking bitch. Okay. Did you say Viking bitch? Yeah. Oh, my God. He's a massage.

He's a noted massage. I hate to say it it but that's very funny it is funny every time he gets all mad i want the people to know that we can count the people in the room yeah there's not a lot at this conference they each have a full table to themselves like a big table that could fit three people each person is at one of those and yeah i think there's there looks to be about 12 or 13 people there they all have mics for some weird fucking reason they all have microphones they all have microphones i guess maybe there's like a part where they all talk or whatever but they do they kind of i mean they they're a pretty it's a pretty diverse group

yeah and none of them have jacked off in one year. Yeah, there's no way. Oh, it's diverse. Yeah, it's diverse, but they are all men. They're all men. Full-time job, Andrew's full-time job. Gerard, full-time job. Did you see the little cardboard

it's so cute he has he's walking around with a cardboard cutout behind him like a tiny version of himself I made this work because it's for every time somebody looks in a direction in the room,

they need to see Dan Payne. Yeah. That's the reason it's there. That's so funny. Because they have worked a full-time job, so they're working two full-time jobs. Okay. The average hours of the work of the kids in the seminar that come here before QLA, and we're now in the seminar that come here before QLA.

And we're now in the European Union. We're on a 32-hour work week, I think, or something like that. Or maybe 35 hours. And it used to be 40 hours was a normal work week, you know, back in the day. Well, that's not the case now because of unions and a lot of other things. These awful unions

have made it so that you don't get to work as much. You still get the same amount of money. You don't get to work as much. I'm curious. You as a group don't work 40 hours a week. Oh.

How many? I still, I don't call it work, 50, 60 hours a week. I don't call it work, though. Okay. Well, I work 56 hours a week. 50, 60. I think he said 50, 60. Yeah.

50, 60 hours a week. So that's a lot. He's doing extra. He's probably putting an extra day in there maybe or maybe doing 10 hour days it's funny that these like a lot of these rich guys you know that they actually aren't doing anything like like they count yoga as part of work they count like massage or whatever inner everything is like work to them so they they it's so easy to work i could work a hundred hours a week if i could count everything i do including sleeping which is very important for a productive mind yeah so part of your sleep can be a breakfast

yeah like when you go walk around brian you could just say that you're working. You're like thinking about... I do, actually. Oh, okay. Here's a... I'm going to read a LinkedIn post here. Here are some unconventional things I've done that made me a lot happier. Don't set up voicemail on your phone.

Unsubscribe from every newsletter. Silence calls not in your contacts. Keep your phone on Do Not Disturb. Don't check your email or social media in the morning. And don't read slash watch the news. I'll share a few more and provide details on each

in my newsletter tomorrow. Oh my gosh. That's like a setup. Yeah, I mean, I do. I definitely have my phone silenced and stuff. And I don't, you know, my phone never rings because I do have people who might try to, you know, people have my number try to fuck with me or whatever. Yeah, that's what I do when I'm might try to, you know, people have my number try to fuck with me or whatever. Yeah. That's what I do when I'm like, so sad.

Yeah. The person, what they're describing, it's like someone's really depressed and withdrawing from everyone. I could love that. I'm being productive. i'm being productive i like the numbers these guys come up with so this guy okay code 5165 says i have trouble establishing day-to-day urgency for long-term goals now it's funny to, I'm going to read this first sentence and it's something that they all do that I find to be really funny because my urgency levels are either zero if I don't have something immediately due or 100 if a task is due today or tomorrow. Right. I think that's called ADHD. I think that's what that is right yeah i think like some of this stuff is like there's like psychological stuff or whatever that you can yeah because maybe that's not a normal way to look at stuff my urgency levels is a very funny like what like the way that they

make a number for anything that they're having trouble with. And then you see my urgency levels are either at zero and you're like, that's bad. And then you expect them to say, or 10 when I'm really, when I have something due, but instead he says a hundred. So the urgency level scale is from zero to a hundred. So dramatic. There seems to be no in between. It causes trouble for long-term projects that require day-to-day effort in the beginning of the day i write down a few tasks i should complete by the end of the day and usually end up only finishing half of the first task my efficiency is just trashed if something isn't immediately due and significant ask is going to give some advice and he goes uh

this is very frustrating i've been there what helped me was giving myself fake deadlines or asking people to give me deadlines even when they said oh no rush it's up to you i will not accept that and get a date from them that's good advice yeah i i i'm this is like maybe the closest one that i of that i am like i'm I'm not like, I don't like would never go post in a Reddit about it, obviously. But I, I struggle with that because I, you know, have to be in charge of all the stuff that I do. So I struggle with getting all of my tasks done and I will make lists myself and say, Hey, I need to get this, this, this, this done. And I, and I find it's very very helpful for me to see it written out so i i like oh yeah i feel this i feel this like i i think um i might be a productivity guy well this is the one that's closest to you chris the one that's closest to you is episode one sex guys

with mike hale that's not true the only you know listen i understand productivity and after that productivity and maybe reptile it hurt my i've never had a reptile in my life and it's it's didn't hurt it did not help my case when i announced that my girlfriend is pregnant because people started saying congratulations sex guy confirmed you obviously had sex pineapple bed sheets are the real issue like you can't we're not getting into the final oh my gosh you have pineapple bed sheets he does he does i didn't know that upside down pineapples were a swinging thing oh oh i didn't know that yeah yeah yeah you just thought it was like, oh my God, that's so sexy. I was just like, oh, sweet. It's such a sex-related pineapple. Yeah, no, upside down pineapples means that.

And so I accidentally, I have pineapple bed sheets. But again, my girlfriend put them on upside down. Normally, they're right side up. Pineapple's not a swinger. Blame the girlfriend. I want to read this to you because I think you're pretty good. I don't know if this is for you. I love you, man. I think this'll, I think this'll separate you from the productivity guys. I hope it does.

Okay. And he goes, I have a week off coming this week where I want to optimize for work, life and professional development. What would you do? do context is that my job is quite time consuming but most likely given i haven't set the right boundaries i utilize a bunch of digital systems to get things done but i want to take this week to reset and improve each of the above what would you do how would you do it what have you adopted for each of the above which has helped and you simply be better thanks and thanks in advance thanks thanks in advance and uh so do you work on vacation because i think that is that's what a productivity guy does he takes a vacation in order to figure out how to work more now what hmm no it's interesting

i believe that when we take our three weeks no no i take around and do nothing i definitely take vacation and i you know i will take time off and just go relax but during that time i will set aside a period of time to get everything back in order like this type of thing and like get stuff set up get all of my like files deleted off of my computer, everything cleaned up, everything like ready to go again and optimize. I'm optimized. That's the fucking word to you. So I'm sorry, you guys, I'm a productivity guy. He's a productivity guy. Yeah. Work on vacation at all. Do you do that at the end of your vacation? At the end of it. I take a relaxing time still.

Like I take time away. Like we went to Los Angeles and I did nothing. You know, we went there and we just relaxed and went to fun shows. And I didn't think about. Sorry. I've been there too. I spent a lot of time there. Yeah.

We went to a bunch of places that Brian's never even heard of. I asked him whether he's like, oh, you know, the Grove. And he didn't even know. It's where the movies are. No, it isn't. It just happens to be there's a movie theater there. It's not known for the movie theater. It's known as a famous outdoor mall in Hollywood.

With a movie theater and also a candy store. I know that it has a candy store. Yeah, someone in the Twitch chat told you. Anyways. Nobody told me there has a candy store yeah someone in the twitch chat told you anyways nobody told me there's a candy store there there's a candy store everywhere it's a pretty good guess yeah it's a mall there's gonna be a candy i find educational videos on youtube and udemy to i don't know what udemy is to be a restful way of gaining new knowledge and broadening my understanding of topics both work and non-work related so she's saying i watch youtube yeah he's like on vacation on vacation yeah he he's like i

don't really i think the thing that makes you a productivity guy is that like you generally really don't want to take the week off right i think is where i'm at with it where it's like you you you take vacation time but if you take that vacation time you can't spend any of that time not preparing for when you get back yeah from i mean i'm i'm i think i'm a low level product productivity guy because i take my time off during the week i don't overwork myself or anything either i work generally like five days a week, six hours. So I work 30 hours a week generally. And the stuff I'm doing is making prank phone calls.

I remember when we first started doing this show, I said, Chris, I don't want to take up too much of your time. You're like, I actually like doing it. Yeah, yeah. It doesn't matter. Exactly. Doing the podcast, I actually like doing it. Yeah, yeah. It doesn't matter. Exactly. Doing the podcast, I just enjoy doing. And like sometimes there's stuff that feels like work.

Like I'm booking interviews. You know, I just booked an interview with the guy who dressed up as George Washington during the insurrection and he just got sentenced to a year in prison. And so I'm doing interviews like that. But that like feels like official stuff. I'm like, you know, communicating with someone. But a lot of my work doesn't feel like work. And so it's hard to think of it as being productive. sleep 1.5 hours every time i work 3.3 hours and i will sleep 5 times 1.5 equals 7.5 hours every day will this improve efficiency or do harm to my health harm what's the exact reason oh my god yeah listen if you're telling me it's gonna to harm me, I want fucking proof. I am really considering this.

I think that some rich people have said this before or something, right? That they take little naps throughout the day or something. I think it's some idea that became popular, but I don't know. I'll be honest. It's unhealthy. I'm not a doctor. Well, I have a buddy that works as a sleep guy. He does.

Okay. Oh, yeah. Oh, okay. Cool. Not that he wears like one of those nightcaps and like. I mean, it definitely sounds like this is all above board. I'll definitely trust everything you say. Now I got a friend who's like a sleep guy.

He works at a sleep clinic and he has told me because i've tried other ways like i constantly when i worked a real job was always trying to figure out some way to change my sleep more than anything there was a period where i was working i had to work from 8 to 4 30 and i made this decision that i what were you doing i'm not gonna say what i was doing at that time every time i say it it becomes a thing so he was a cable guy oh like the movie exactly the opposite of the movie really i actually installed the cable you watch that movie you don't even see him do any any work oh poser yeah climb a pole climb a pole well he climbed up on there's a big huge scene where they're on top of a thing where he's clearly

a satellite, which would only be at the cable company. That's not it's called the head end. So anyway, I had made this decision that I will not let work run my life. So I was just staying up until like four o'clock in the morning and getting up at eight and i was fucking miserable i was losing my fucking mind doing it but i was convinced that i was like doing the right thing so i get this and i've i've lately i've been setting my alarm for eight o'clock in the morning getting up drinking a bunch of caffeine and then going back to bed until 10 30 that's that's like a doctor told you to do that. I'm just trying to optimize it. Like that might be where I am.

Like Mr. Optimizing. Hang on. Hang on a second. Hang on a second. Why do you do that? I don't know. Otherwise,

otherwise you might get up even later. Is that what would happen? Yes, that's the thing. If I get up at 9 or 8 o'clock and I drink an energy drink and then I go back upstairs and go to bed. Not even a coffee. No, it's a Rockstar recovery. Oh, Brian. Nina's reaction to that. oh brian i drink one also two hours or three hours after i get out of bed i drink another rock star

brian is like seemingly he also walks like 40 000 steps like he walks more than anyone else in the entire world honestly holy shit ryan you might be a productivity guy too actually it does help me get work done because i'm not gonna my job is scrolling through reddit all day and and other sites so i'm not if i sat at my team at my computer and did that, that would be crazy. That wouldn't be normal. I can do it on my phone, so I just walk while I'm doing it. If I'm not at home, I'm not

tempted to play. It's not play, really. I'm not tempted to do my Legos. It's play. Yeah. Yeah. I found this book it's called how to be a productivity ninja i love when somebody takes that idea of like being a ninja at something sort of an epic like high level of it or whatever i'm i guess is what it means like a very very uh good so i looked good

to see some reviews and usually we only do bad reviews but i did good reviews too okay oh god that fucking god damn uh discord people are starting to just tweet discord sound at me like because it goes off sometimes during the show i just sold my town turn it off you can i just did i just turned it off i just sold my townhouse bought a new house and had a baby i am a productivity ninja i did all of this while being a full-time teacher mother and wife I did all of this while being a full-time teacher, mother, and wife. Oh. Feminism. Mother and wife are kind of tied together.

But it's like dad and husband. Yeah. You're just kind of like you're that member of the family. Right. It doesn't involve a ton of work. Being a wife. Well, it does emotionally, perhaps. Yeah.

But it does involve work, but it's not like... being a wife well it does emotionally perhaps yeah but it being a yeah it does involve work but it's not like being a wife being a mother does being a wife does it but a wife does you have to basically like mother your husband well that's hopefully not the case that's hopefully not the case. That's hopefully not the case. Hopefully he's doing his own stuff. I worked that out for 20 years almost. It didn't work out for you. You're required to do some of your own stuff. Good for you. That's awesome. I go to the store, which I like going to the store.

That's fine. I did all this. But I think calling yourself a full-time teacher is impressive enough. Yeah. When you start making these roles in your life work. Yeah, I think that mother is fine. I think it would be fine if you had a younger kid and you're like being a mother. And but yeah, to say that you're also being a wife is like, I don't know. It's also kind of rubbing it in people's face that you're not single and everything.

I don't know. It's also kind of rubbing it in people's face that you're not single and everything. This book was helpful to me, but included a lot of things that I naturally do. According to Blinkist. What's Blinkist? I think it's probably a website about. Thought it was a person. I got to tell you all. I think these people only read about product. I don't think they do anything else that's another thing i think they listen to the audiobooks on like the two speed or

whatever i agree yeah they double speed listen and you're right they're not even reading the stuff they're anything they can get audio because then they've got that going and they're reading something else at the same time so that they're getting both of them right they're not getting either really if you're listening to something and read no i can do i can listen and read and take in both of them yeah i'm gonna listen to music while i'm reading it's like i literally listen to podcasts and read things all the time you're done you do yep do you and you retain things i retain things from both of them. Yeah, I have to sort of, you know, you have to dip back in and out. So I'll maybe miss certain points.

But yeah, I can listen to something, understand what's going on in the podcast. What is that? Sorry, I live right by a fire station. I thought there was a plane crashing. Oh my goodness. crash in some way. Oh my goodness. Productivity is a learned skill and with the right techniques and mindset

you can reach ninja levels of elite productivity by staying agile, mindful, and organized. Even the most daunting to-do list can be swiftly dealt with. And here's some more actionable advice. Don't give yourself more time than you need. Ever heard of Parkinson's law?

I've heard of it. I've heard of Parkinson's something else. Yeah, I've heard of that a few times. Work expands to fill the time allocated to it. Whether you have two weeks or two days to write a report, you'll probably still be putting the finishing touches on it when you hit your deadline. So be ruthless with the amount of time you allocate for specific tasks there's no point allowing yourself five hours to do your expenses when if you really knuckled down you could get them done in one i think i could get my expenses done in 15 minutes oh wow what do you mean like where you get them done like oh like an hour to pay the bills less than an hour 15 20 minutes i see so you're not but are you looking at your expenses do you have like are you budgeting in that way where you're looking at each expense because maybe they're doing that you know i just pay the bills and

look at my balance over and over again for a month. Not great. Here's another review from Zafik Zinet of the book, and it's one star. Did not like it. I wanted to like this book. The ninja theme and the drawings on the cover and on the initial pages were fun, and they dragged me into reading this book up to page 90. It is at that point I realized I still haven't learned a single useful thing from this book. All it did was introduce meaningless and vague metaphors and make ludicrous and simplistic assumptions. The ninja is ruthless. The ninja is mindful. Well, that's freaking great, but it isn't helpful. The assumption that we have a static rhythm of when our attention is high or low is overly simplistic and asinine. You can't make schedules based on that, as the book proposes you should do.

Do you want to hear a ludicrous assumption? What? That when I move, you move. Oh. Okay. Let's check in with Dan Pena. I'm punishing you with Dan Pena now. Everyone, please let me know.

Send me a message. Let me know. What did you think of my ludicrous assumption joke? Oh, I really like it. I'm making you watch more Dan Pena. Boy. Okay, here we go. And I'm supposed to be part-time two-thirds of my time

is pro bono for free cherries and shit like that and one thing my time is with you guys shit like that i i like this next line oh yeah yeah he says he says the f word he says the answer here goes my time is finger fucking with you guys so he's finger fucking and i'm still working 50 60 hours a week so he said my time is finger fucking with you guys see he's finger and i'm still working 50 60 hours a week he said my time is finger with you guys see that that's what kind of made him famous is just like he talks about this productivity finance stuff but then he would you you would say that like you little fucking fuckwit like you know i'm over here finger blast in your ass you know like just saying the most ridiculous shit. So you started going viral and becoming, you know, bigger and bigger. We played a video on the stream or on, uh,

the sales guys episode of him where he just screams the C word right at the beginning of the video. It's just, Hey, I'm not going to say it because he's not saying it on here, but he just yells that. And it's like, so that's kind of how he,

so you can, it's sort of, it's not super surprising that when they show the audience that it is every single time, exclusively men. I don't know that we, have you ever seen a woman in the audience of one of those things? I wonder if it's like a men's only thing.

Like, are you allowed to do that? I imagine it probably is. I feel like I would go and laugh my ass off oh it would be so funny to go if you like had the money you know what i mean like if you had that or like someone would sponsor it to like for you know for something for whatever reason it would be really fun to go there definitely i think you also have to do an application so they they i don't think they want people that can goof.

I could never. Listen to this guy talk. I worked on my 75th birthday. There was a time from 1971 to 1997, summer of 97. I worked 27

years, 26 years straight without a day off. This is crazy that this is like something he's bragging about. I've never had fun in my life. I have a terrible life. My life has been so bad for 26 years.

You know the years of your life are supposed to be your most fun? During that time, I never took a break from work. One day off. Oh, my God. He didn't take one day off, not one day. So I wonder what actually made him take a day off eventually.

I would love to fucking know. Like a heart attack? Yeah, like something, some sort of medical thing. And I wonder how pissed he was. He also has kids. Yeah. He has kids? Yeah.

Does he know that? He does. He also has kids. He has kids? Does he know that? He does. He'll bring it up. I think he might even talk about it on here. I'll let it. Including getting married. Including my kids the days that they were born. Oh my god. What a bastard.

So he worked on his wedding day. What a loser. Yeah, he's like, yeah, I wasn't there for my family uh i don't think you should be calling the trillion dollar man a loser yeah thank you very much for this guy is a this guy is the poster boy of winning huge success this guy huge success he's still working he's 80 years old he's still working he missed all of his kids birthday parties i think he's still working. He's 80 years old. He's still working. He missed all of his kids' birthday parties. I think he's got even more here.

One of the webinars you're going to hear today or tomorrow from one of the doctors, his wife's giving birth. He's trying to close the guy on the phone. Push, honey, push. Push, honey, push. He's an MD doc. Push, honey. His wife doesn't like that story.

It makes it seem like he's not sensitive, right? Or he doesn't care that his first child is going to be with his first kid. Oh, my God. He's going to say something crazy. Fear is false expectations appearing real. Oh, okay. But to you, they're not false expectations. They're your expectation of you failing again.

Like, I got to say this. As I mentioned, you know, I'm having a baby soon. Yeah, baby boy. And I just, the thought of it, it also will be my first child. That you know the thought of doing any kind of work or like being preoccupied in any

way during the time that my child is being born is not like I couldn't even imagine that yeah I'm so mad that i know this guy exists now when when my daughter was born i had a full week and then i had to go back to work and uh i did not like going back to work no i wanted maybe two or like you want two or three weeks off just to because you're really

settling into a thing you know yeah jesus unless you get over that kids it's gonna be a motherfucker aside that the the the march guys went out and you know they finger fucked themselves oh did it mostly wrong and and i I would be I would be a liar if I didn't tell you for those of you that already started down the wrong path. It's harder for you to get on the right path than the guys that haven't started on the path yet. Oh, I'd be lying.

What does he mean when he says like finger fuck? Like I don't know. Hanging out like fuck themselves like instead of saying fuck themselves you know they finger but he's he said like I'm here finger fucking you guys

yeah I guess it's just maybe as a catch all for like doing anything anything is finger fuck yeah I'm here finger fucking you guys let's check in with another video oh god another guy another dance another dance Yeah, I'm here to figure fuck you guys. Let's check in with another video. Oh, God.

Another guy? Another Dan. Oh, another... Another Dan. Okay. Because I think it's important we learn about this here. Okay. There's no such thing as work-life balance. No!

That's like his fucking catchphrase. Subscribe now! that's like his like fucking catchphrase subscribe now it's so funny to me that that's the way his videos yeah that's very funny i'm gonna open this show he's got a feature in comedy i'll tell you that i agree i agree uh jack ma the hero of China, right? Jack the Ma, as I call him. Smart kid, old school teacher, turned entrepreneur, turned rich, 10th richest guy in the world,

or whatever he is, okay? Nobody talks about Jack 996 program. Nobody talks about it. So he has a sign behind him that says one guy 23 deals in 2019 so if you're not if you're not doing 23 deals at least which seems like it leaves some weeks and i don't even understand what deals are really like i guess like mergers or something like i don't even know what he means necessarily yeah just between two men the man he took 23 men's hands

do you know about what Jack Ma's 996 program I don't know it Dan no you're about to find out and six days a week correct but no nine hours a day six days a week okay that's not bad wait wait wait that's only two letters that's only two letter that's only two numbers i mean

nine hours a day i'll look it up yeah and they hate it they hate it and uh but in china they don't let you write that shit you know because he's friendly with the government okay but i mean and he's a slave driver okay he's speaking of this guy positively yeah wait a second yeah this is a guy that you are friends with the 996 working hour system is a work schedule practiced by some companies in china it derives the same from his requirement that employees work from 9 a.m. to 9 p.m. six days a week. Oh, no.

Oh. That's bad. He's a driver. 72 hours a week? Is that... We have lawsuits here in Britain against Amazon. You know how you see all these Amazon commercials? If you're not in Britain, you don't see Amazon commercial and I'm here and I Britain, you don't see Amazon commercial.

I'm here and I get flexible hours and they show that smile. That's all this. He's made a jack off motion. Now he's in Britain. He's battling this bullshit in Britain. He's going to say something really Brittany here in a minute here. I'm not

that innocent. Not that more British lawsuits from employees. I don't know if it's a Manchester or Liverpool that say you know, that enforce within not the company policy, the employees policy, they're enforcers, like the mafia. 80 hours a week to keep your job at Amazon. Oh, okay. 85 hours a week to be considered for promotion.

90 hours a week to get promoted. There's people in this room Well The average work week for this group If you didn't lie to me Lies in the papers Is maybe 45 hours a week

He's going to yell at him Maybe And that's giving you the benefit of the doubt The benefit of the doubt 45 hours a week he's gonna yell at him maybe 45 that's giving you the benefit of the doubt filling in some 45 hours a week and if you do 45 hours a week and you're gonna fail oh you might as well just run in front of a lorry bus like this this guy is like but you know this guy's like whole shtick is just like sort of reinforcing this whole idea that of like twerking all the time it's like terrible yeah what else does he talk about no this is basically it yeah what does he do for fun yeah what does he do for fun i wonder i've never heard him say oh i watch football or like everything he says is work it's all work all he does is work

all the time well you know what i decided to do this time chris and i i don't need your your smart mouth here um so i made the decision that uh we will play a game oh these are always a huge colossal failures thank you thank you i made up 10 books well i have 10 oh by these guys okay hang on so this is one of the real or fake that's what i can do that's all i can do okay so this is yeah this we've done this game before it always it did i think you've done it we've done it twice before right we did it with the dough boys and we did it with someone else uh steve slagowski from from pop the band yeah we we've so we've done this twice before both times it was very unpopular segment everyone oh but he said it was unpopular. No one said anything about it. It was just. Oh, no. Yeah, it was really.

So let's see if we can. Let's see this time if we can make this happen. Maybe it can become a recurring segment. We can play a game or we can listen to Grant Cardone. Well, we'll play a game. Play a game. Grant Cardone is worse than this guy. Okay, so these are names of books about productivity. I Googled productivity books.

I made up some, and I got some real ones here. Okay. Number one, The Checklist Manifesto. Bita, do you think it's real or fake? Real. Yeah, I think it's real or fake real yeah i think it's real as well that sounds for one it sounds very believable and it just sounds too good i don't think brian could make one up that good and if he did i am no i just don't think you could make one up that's that good if you did i am going to give you a huge congratulations, but I think it's real. Fucker.

It is real. Yeah. Yay. See, I knew it. What's the congratulations? No, no,

that I was going to, I would, congratulations here. Hold on one second. No, I was going to give him a congratulations if he got it. I'm going to give you a congratulations right now. That's what happens when you win.

That's Greg Opie Hughes from the Opie and Anthony show. He found out there was a French wine and he did that. That was how he reacted. French beer. The next one is nuclear business blowing your manager away with creative blasts.

Is that real or is that fake? I think that's fake. Yeah, that one is very obviously fake. That is how Brian's brain works. Too many blowing words. The word blowing too many times. That is Brian's brain working 100%. I mean, this is definitely fake.

You both got it right. Okay, okay. Next one. It's just how to be productive. Okay. This was smart on his behalf. Because it obviously could be one, but then he would do something like this too.

You see what could have happened here beta is he could have just been like i have no more ideas i had plenty of ideas um i mean that that's probably the name of a book even if you made it up yeah wait what's the book what's the book uh title again how to be productive okay i think that has to be the name of a book yeah it has to be it has to be so yeah i'm gonna go real as well no actually i think that brian is gonna he's gonna say he made it up he's gonna google it and then he's gonna realize there is a book called that and he's going to have to change it so that's my answer wow you know brian well he does but only all the worst but so it is real how to be productive but you did but did you initially

make it up as a fake no okay oh it's a real one though i don't okay cool so still we still brian we've you haven't fooled anybody yet i know i'm so bad at this okay here's the next one uh why is china growing so fast i am gonna say that's a real one brian would not go into race i would i would go into global race relations he would not he would not do that so that's my guess yeah i think i've seen that book all right we got that one yeah oh yeah i knew it i knew it brian he wouldn't do that he wouldn't like you know he wouldn't be throwing strays out there like that all right here we go time power oh i love this for getting more done in less time say it it again. Say it again. Time power.

A proven system for getting more done each time. I love the name time power. I do too. It feels like it could be a movie. I think you made this one up. Yeah.

I mean, the way he said it feels like it could be a movie sort of feels like he has sort of written this movie in his head already. And that's where this name came from. It's too cool of a title. It's both wrong.

I didn't say it. I didn't. That's BS. I was actually not going to say. I was going to say that it. That's not fair. But yeah, okay. He was too excited to have fooled us.

And that song that he played, there was a tuna fish song from the Grease Man. He's 80s shock jock. Okay. Why don't we do a little Gary Glitter here? All right. And who is that? That is Bob and Tom. Oh, that's from Bob and Tom.

Another shock jock. We'll do a little bit of Gary Glitter. Gary Glitter. The next one I'm going to do is talk hard, achieving hard goals by talking to people. That one has hard in the title too many times. And I think maybe you were like looking at Netflix and you saw Walk Hard, the Dewey cox story and then you did a play on that and all you're you're definitely on to something with the too many because brian just got the word hard running through his mind constantly number one yes this one's fake but let me explain that it is actually fake because i named it after uh the movie pump up the volume where like uh christian slater says talk hard he like plays a shock jock on a fire station says talk hard but you guys are

four to four oh wait no chris is four to three got that one wrong yeah yeah yeah i'm winning i'm winning okay it's important to me to win these as well, Vida. Okay. It means nothing to me. It means a lot to me. The next one's called Deep Work. Oh, I love that name. Anything else?

Just Deep Work? Just Deep Work. That could be the title of a book. Yeah, it definitely could. Deep work. This is a good one. See, this is like, this is, if they were all like this, this game would be hard. Thank you.

Okay, I think it's fake because it doesn't say anything about what the subject is. Okay, I'm going to, well, how many more are left after this? Because I'm going to well how many more are left after this because I'm up by one right now I'm going to be totally honest here I don't remember so I have a bunch here I think we're almost done I think I got one

okay so I'm going to say that I think I got two left here or three I'm going to risk it I'm going to risk it I'm going to risk it. I'm going to risk it. I'm going to risk it here and potentially have it tie up because I'm going to disagree with Bita. I'm going to say that that's a real book. Deep work is a real book. Damn it.

I thought that sounded like something I made up. Yeah, it did. That's why I was saying it was a good one. It was a really good one. It was tough to... The next one is Your Neighbor Works Harder Than You. Oh, that's so good. Pete is just so impressed by all the names.

The names of these books. I mean, Your Neighbor Works Hard harder than you is a good name for a productivity like motivation anxiety that would cause in a in a deeply disturbed individual that's real that's real that's that's yeah that's a real book that's a real book that is fake you came up with that brian yeah oh my god i'm so impressed that is good brian nice job that was that's your best work yeah that needs to be the title of a yeah your neighbor works harder than you what made you think of that how did you think of that does your neighbor work pretty hard i don't know my i don't know my neighbors at all but i will say that's kind of like that's kind of odd why oh you just moved in well yeah but also i just don't look at them when i walk outside i kind of

do the head down oh man you gotta get you gotta get to know your name i know listen i don't want to tell you how to live your life but it's more funny you get to know your neighbors they have a nice pleasant relationship with oh no people don't like me like that what do you mean you're one of the most likable guys i mean i just look like yeah but whatever it'll be a problem let's see that's the problem first off no he does but but but brian when as soon as you start talking to them and they realize you're not and you're nicest guy in the world that's what you have to do whereas if you just let them see you they're going to continue to feel that way you know i talked to the ones that just moved in but i was embarrassed when they asked me what i do for a living yeah everyone's a podcaster though yeah no you're right it's not even that silly anymore

it is in ohio i think there's a big difference between like people in Columbus, Ohio that call themselves podcasters. I see. You could just say that you're a writer, you know, I could, but I don't ever write anything. The next book is Muhammad Ali. You write these titles.

Yeah. No kidding. You don't write anything. The guy who just came up with fucking my neighbor works harder than me. Tells me he didn't, doesn't write anything. Three times. Okay.

So Muhammad Ali boxing with business people. Okay. This kind of throws me for a loop too, because Brian would do through some shit like this as well. I would, this seems characteristic of me does he talk about muhammad no but he would like do like a stupid one like this you know like a famous athlete and then like using them for uh but then also so would these people you know these these sharks so to

speak i'm gonna say it's fake because you would have to clear the name of the celebrity right i don't think so i actually think you could just write about a guy and say like this is why he but it has to be like a top level athlete you know what i mean it can't be like it has to be like michael jordan or because remember that guy on his Jordan. Because remember that guy that caught the ball on his helmet? Do you remember that? Wait, who? The guy in the Super Bowl that caught the football on his helmet. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, the Eli Manning pass. Yeah, and he wrote a book, and it wasn't super successful because what he did was so lucky. Yeah. But, yeah, Muhammad Ali, boxing with business people. I'm going to say that that one is real i'm just gonna say real because chris keeps getting them right i wrote that one brian i should have said gone with my gut yeah i thought it was obvious because

it said boxing with business people like i couldn't imagine like a one of these guys say a business person their job yeah that that is kind of that should have been a tell you're right here we go here we go i think we're on um now when you say i think we are now do you not have the list in front of me there's only one left okay it is called planning for zombies how to get ahead of anything that could happen anything that could happen i see like like they're saying like zombie apocalypse that's worst case scenario we always talk about so this is having you being prepared for everything yeah anything like people think oh there could never be a zombie apocalypse. But this author says, what if there was? And I believe that there could be now.

I didn't used to. But when I saw the way people bowed to the lamestream media. We might even be zombies now. No, honestly, the way people look at their phones now, it actually feels like it's already kind of happening. That's awesome. Thank you. Only four zombies.

I think that's fake. I think that's fake. I think it's real. All right. Well, it's fake. Yes. That's the first one I made up. Now, here's the deal.

I lost track of the score. I won by one. Chris wins. Well. Thank you, B Bita I appreciate that He's got an advantage over you though So I'm going to say you win Oh yay He knows That's kind of fucked up

When everybody can clearly hear that I got more correct But okay No no no that's totally fine No no no that's not a big No, no, no, no, no, no. That's not a big deal. Yeah, yeah. No, Bita wins. Hey, congratulations, Bita. Well done. Thank you. Those were good titles, right? Like I got some. Yeah, you had some good ones. At the beginning, it started a little slow. You know, like it was kind of like, it was like, oh, they were very obvious and we were kind of laughing at you. But then the middle of it it sort of brought it around i

mean the neighbors one is an incredible title yeah i think you know you could probably go on youtube and type exactly those words and get a video from one of these guys uh we'll check back in with dan pena and we'll get out of here oh no we do okay oh yeah we'll just see a little bit more i guess just a bit truck did we just come back and he was saying fuck you've heard he's in truck actually he says uh got hit by a lorry you might as well go out and get hit by a lorry because and then he said truck because he realized, oh, it's also going to be in America. Video. Elon Musk say, you give me a guy that works 80 hours a week and we'll get twice as much done. And so, you know, and that's all true.

Elon and Bill and myself. That's fucking smart business. You got a guy working 40 hours a week or you got one working 80 hours a week, you get twice as much done. Business 101. I like it when he puts himself with like the the guys that are looked at like i don't think elon i think elon musk is a dipshit but he's very clearly more successful than he's the richest person on planet earth yeah jeff bezos is definitely steve jobs those guys are on another level from dan pena whose job seems to be to yell at people

living like these guys always have i think the interesting thing about these guys is they talk about deals and business but i think um steve jobs passed away no when did that happen wait you didn't you didn't really know because you're talking about him like he's a current eyes looked up to him because he started in his garage i mean he died he died 12 years ago i'm not i'm not making that up off of my list did you really think he was a current ceo he's one of the best current ceos it's tim cook. Tim Cook is the Apple CEO now. And Steve Jobs. Steve Jobs.

Okay, anyway, sorry to cut you off. And he's good because his last name is Jobs. Yeah, we used to have Jobs and Hope and Cash. Yeah. And we used to have Jobs. You know that? Oh, yeah. Oh, right.

Yeah. Now we have, Is there a second? There is a second part. I don't remember what it is. I'm trying to... Well, no, it's an actual... I think it's specifically from a tweet, I think. I know. Cat Will Ferrell. Those are my friends at Cat Will Ferrell.

Yeah, don't follow that account. It posts some of the most grotesque images you'll ever see we all slept in our offices uh sir Richard Branson uh you get so much more done in a 24-hour day I lived in my office the first 10 years of CNN y'all say the same thing oh one you know what? Before we go, I'm sorry about this, guys. I want to say that this is the video. I want to play the video.

It's a TikTok. And I want to play the thing that made me want to do productivity, guys. And I meant to do it, and I fucked up. That's okay. You actually made the – Sorry. Bita really wants to be part of a club moment she's really

she's like heard about it heard about the excitement surrounding it and she's sort of trying to yeah I understand yeah I'm just trying to play around there's ways to make them there is ways to sort of force the flubs a little bit you can do certain things

you shouldn't force a flub agreed Evan Carmichael is a very famous guy that is famous for clipping as a productivity guy and he has a normal looking face evan carmichael finds i see 30 second or whatever clips for tiktok of productivity guys and he shows them. I got you. Then he shows up. Evan Carmichael sometimes shows up, and he's wearing a neck brace. It's very odd. Is he doing a comedy?

I don't think so. I think he's just... This is the video that made me want to do this. That's so sweet. We got to check this out. My day is 6 a.m. to noon, and I'm not crazy. You're crazy for thinking it takes 24 hours, just like some dude in a cave did 300 years ago. My second day starts at noon and goes till 6 a.m. to noon, and I'm not crazy. You're crazy for thinking it takes 24 hours, just like some dude in a cave did 300 years ago.

My second day starts at noon and goes till 6 p.m. Okay. Yeah, I actually saw this. It was on my For You page. Okay, so his first day goes from 6 a.m. to 12. Yeah. And his second day goes from 12 to 6.

Okay. That's day two. And then the next day is 6 p.m to midnight what i've done now is i have changed a manipulated time i now get 21 days a week he's talking about's so cool. He's fucking, he found, yeah. You know, I love him. I got to give it to him. It is, that's a good, I think 21 days a week is a crazy thing to say. He found a loophole. He found a loophole.

Sorry, you guys are working on your seven day weeks. Dan Pena is over there talking about working 70, 80 hours a week. And this guy's like, I got 21 days a week. I got 21 days. I'll work hundreds 70 80 hours a week and this guy's like i got 21 days a week i got 21 days i'll work hundreds of hours in a week it's ridiculous it reminds me of uh hulk hogan saying that he wrestled what how what did he say he wrestled 400 400 times in a year because he would cross this cross the international time zone when he would go to japan So he would claim, he claimed that he wrestled 400 different days. Of course it's not possible. Cause when you cross the other way, you. Stack it up over a year. You're toast. Stack it up over five years.

My entire life is different than it would have been otherwise. Oh my God. I really want to see what he's doing right now. I wonder what his, yeah. Like I wonder what his business is, like what type of stuff he's doing, but see what he's doing right now. I wonder what his business is. What type of stuff he's doing. He's on to something there that he's got more days than us. The fucking thing that drives me nuts about these guys is

what the fuck are they doing? They never tell you what they're doing. They're doing deals, dude. They just tell you how you should be doing more i guess is the way that i think that seems like the job for these guys yeah that was productivity guys it was very fun yeah next week what do we got next week i gotta look at what we got next week chris but yeah we're that was that was a lot of fun and hey i realized i'm kind of a productivity guy which is kind of fun i think maybe i guess it autograph guys i kind of i'm a

sports card guy more than that and i guess i would yeah maybe but that's the only one that i really have found kevin smith guys i was when i was younger was younger. The next week's episode is naked guys, non-sexual. Oh, yeah. We clarify non-sexual. Yeah. They just like being naked and like playing volleyball. Nudists. Nudists.

Yeah. Yeah. So we got that going on. Bita, tell people where to find you. You can follow me on twitter it's my name at beat touch you back you and thank you for doing this chris i love you oh you were it seems like you were gonna let me i should plug this is a main episode i should plug it i never talk about my thing. People sometimes will comment like, oh, I didn't even know you.

I have a channel where I use like AI and I prank politicians and people like that. It's called Not Even a Show. Kind of like a Dennis Miller sort of thing. It's a bit of a Dennis Miller vibe. In fact, well, it's a bit of a Bill Maher vibe because, yeah, I've recently I've've got a perfect AI Bill Mar voice that I've been using. It's really fun, but yeah, go check it out and subscribe to that on, on YouTube. If you, if you like me, it is how I found Chris. Oh, wow. And, uh, we'll see you next week with naked gut and with guys. Plus we don't ever do that either. The Patreon is patreon.com slash

murder X, Brian. We do guys plus once a week there plus we do uh uh we just did a gut shot recently that was very well received so and we're going to try to figure out how to get more of that uh we will see you all next week with naked guys