Guys: With Bryan Quinby - Guys: Episode 36 - Foodies with Branson (@necrobranson)

Episode Date: October 17, 2023

Food Glorious Food! This week on Guys we talked about foodies! What does the subreddit think about chicken fingers? When did Chipotle go woke? When did Starbucks go woke? What is going on at Nasty's Branson is twitter.com/necrobranson and he is on the E1 Podcast  Get more Chris at https://www.patreon.com/notevenashow twitter.com/thecjs and on patreon at https://www.patreon.com/notevenashow Get more guys at patreon.com/murderxbryan and on twitch.tv/murderxbryan

Welcome to guys a podcast about guys. I am Brian your host for this evening and I have my friend chicken fingers for dinner. Chris James. How you doing chicken fingers? Okay, so I get I'm sort of I'm gathering from that that it's supposed to be an insult from foodies because that's what you do. You use newfound knowledge but this one is insanely accurate because i love chicken fingers aka chicken tenders and i do eat them a lot mr chicken fingers over here well we'll we'll get back to chicken fingers we are talking about foodies which is a dastardly group of people. And with us from the episode one podcast, we have Branson. What's up, Branson? What up? How you guys doing? I got some comments on the chicken fingers line if we want to get right into that. Otherwise, I can... Okay. So I haven't eaten chicken fingers in about four years, but I will say... Oh, you're missing out. You're missing out. They're so good. Chicken fingers is one of my all-time great foods that I would get, but I've hit a point now of where the shame of getting chicken fingers has taken over the want and desire for chicken fingers.

I'm not going to order chicken fingers at a restaurant. I don't know why. I'm not going to say that's the right decision of why I refuse to order chicken fingers at a restaurant. I understand. I just can't bring myself to do it. Yeah, like I totally get that. That's definitely valid that it's like, yeah, people are looking at you a little bit when you order the chicken fingies,

you know, but I will say my girlfriend who I live with, she's into the chicken fingers as well. So guess what? Ain't nobody judging me that I care about. You know what I'm saying? We're both ordering them. We're both enjoying them. What's your sauce?

I'm a honey mustard guy. Sorry, Brian. We're talking chicken fingers over here. This is chicken fingers. We got some chicken finger stuff, too. My two favorite foods in the world are hamburgers or cheeseburgers and pizza. That's the funniest. That's the funniest that's the best uh i realize we all could be eight years old and say the exact same thing right now we all could just be eight years old i mean that is like i know i listen i

i can't judge anyone because i just said i eat chicken fingers regularly but saying your two favorite foods are hamburger and pizza it sounds like a like a goof like a silly thing that like a fake human is saying to like trick an alien or something like that when we go out to eat for years my i would you know the way waiter come up to the table i'll be like i will have your cheeseburger and my wife would be like of course and like she did it every time to the point now where even when we're trying to decide what to have for dinner, she's like, what do you want, cheeseburgers or pizza?

So I feel shame. I don't order cheeseburgers or pizza anymore. I think that's fair. If I do order cheeseburger or pizza at a restaurant, I say, hey, fuck it. I'm just going to order it. I get real like defensive about it that's a classic move like hey fuck it you know what i'm gonna fucking

step out you're just acting like you don't order it every time like you know what hey it's the fucking weekend i'll treat myself to a cheeseburger you know the guy's like you were in here yesterday eating a cheeseburger um yeah that that's maybe your wife was potentially like sort of being tricky there and clever and maybe didn't want you always eating hamburgers and pizza it sucks so i don't want her always eating indian food but but indian food does indian food has vegetables. That's one thing I would say. Just from a health standpoint, I would say that if you exclusively eat pizza and hamburgers,

that you are going to encounter health problems. It's not the only thing I eat. It is just my favorite thing to eat. But I did check Quora, and I looked up foodie, and I got a question. What does it really mean to be a foodie and why am chantry answered this and he goes it's a vague word that different people use differently and as words are defined by their usage it has little common meaning all right come on just answer the question you're getting lawyer trying to do like lawyer therapy talk when it's the dumbest question in the fucking world yeah just like it's someone

who's really into food yeah well you know what i mean like who's like more into food than a regular person i would say it's part of their personality that's how i would define it who just like eating out everybody i've heard that's a foodie they just don't like doing dishes they just eat out okay but is that a food taco truck yeah i i think people like like foodies who don't have any patience to learn like how stuff is made or how to cook to me you just like eating out yeah you just like going out you're not interested in the actual food i think some people are pretending to be foodies. They say, oh, I'm a foodie. But in reality, like you say, they don't want to do dishes. So they're fake foodies.

But they're just like, oh, this is very interesting. And it's like, you mean it tastes nice in your tummy. You don't know anything about it. Or you don't care about the preparation or anything like that. A real foodie would care about that. If you're getting barbecue chicken nachos and you're like i'm a foodie getting my it's like yeah well you know yeah try the best barbecue chicken nachos restaurant in town yeah it's like being a cinephile if you only watch marvel movies

i just don't think you can say that yeah oh man the decision i just don't think you can say it the barbecue sauce the locally sourced barbecue sauce that they use on those oh oh the ketchup they use is so my goodness honestly they use ketchup it's so red i gotta tell you i used to go to this restaurant i knew the owner and i would go to this restaurant they had uh homemade they had their own ketchup and they put it was just ketchup that they made there and but they put like fennel seed in it and uh every time i was there and every review was like just have some heinz yeah don't mess with we they figured out yeah like ketchup is the only thing i will say this is kind of a bit of a foodie opinion is i i went to los angeles well i was went to los angeles i go there a lot i've been there a lot too so i'll i went to los angeles well i was went to los angeles i go there

a lot too so i'll be able to know exactly what you're talking about so i went to a i went to a restaurant thank you for saying congratulations by the way have you been to los angeles i went once i loved it the weather was great wonderful place didn't have to wear a jacket yeah about what i wore every day was perfect. Great food. Great food. It's got the booty culture. So I had some beet ketchup, and it was delicious, and I loved it. And so that is like, I will say, that's the only time I've ever had ketchup that wasn't just like Heinz, where I was like, ooh, this is actually maybe a little bit better. But I've had beet ketchup since, and it didn't compare.

So it was this specific place, and I don't remember it. There's a related anecdote I have to a place around here called Chicken and Pete's in Atlantic City. Where's that? New Jersey. Yeah, New Jersey. New Jersey. I've been there.

Yeah. So what? Listen, that's not. They let anyone here. They let anyone go there. Los Angeles is hard to get into. There's no checking at the door in Atlantic City. You're in.

You're in. Welcome. Get in here. They want you to come. Yeah. We got some crevices you can crawl into. Have fun. But there is a place in here called Chicken Pete's, and people were really excited about their cheese sauce.

And so people were talking about it. People were commenting. I heard people say how good the Chicken Pete's cheese sauce was. And then somebody posted the recipe, and it's white American cheese and water. I mean, it's a foodie thing, though, because they were so foodies only would understand. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you, Brian.

The simplicity of it. That's what it is. It's just like you don't want to overcomplicate something like cheese sauce. Well, this definition goes on to say, so it's a matter of degree and threshold for self-identification. Certainly, there's people with discerning palate, though they may be called a connoisseur. I avoid calling myself a foodie because it's too vague i prefer the tomb the term you should prefer the tomb when you hear what he said i prefer the term food nerd because i love to learn about the science and history of food

and cooking and the term dining geek because i like learning about new restaurant chefs and trying them out so that's our definition yeah this guy sucks i'm sorry listen we're all a nerd in some way like we've discussed that before it's like whatever you're really into you're kind of a nerd for that but like when you're like i like to think of myself as a food nerd there's something like even nerdier about that that's like a nerd level that i can't really get behind you know go make or go home call yourself a gourmand just do it that's so much cooler than anything else gourmands is such a cooler kind of guy than foodie it is it is and you don't want to be called a foodie ever it seems so embarrassing i want to show you guys is it considered embarrassing brian like from what you're reading like do people do people self-identify as foodie or is it considered to be like a term that's a term

of like embarrassment a ridicule of current times it seems to be of like ridicule but if you read stuff from like 2013 2014 yeah people are a hundred percent just like i'm a foodie. That's how stuff happens, I guess. It sort of becomes part of the culture or whatever. And then the real terrible people online, I don't know, some of them might be here with us today. Us, me. They get a hold of it, and then they start making fun of it really badly. And then it becomes like a negative thing. Well, it's like a diminutive sounding word. It's like foodie. I'm a little foodie. Check it's kind of i'm a foodie it's childish where they're

trying to almost seem like sophisticated you know what i mean where where the name it kind of does the opposite yeah well i put i brought something up in the in the room so you guys could see this those are nice those look good this is from red she had 1080 and he he said i ate because that on our food you do parentheses i ate and then you write the first time you tried something so this guy this is his first time making chicken tenders and fries homemade homemade okay they look good they look good they did he did a good job if these are really homemade i mean too much parsley but uh crazy i was just thinking he went nuts with the parsley he did he put it in the ketchup yeah it's just like glitter food he's just putting it on it

like it's glitter he just grabbed a handful and just like threw it on top of the plate he sort of i guess he probably saw it on like a food network thing or something or like some photograph and he thought oh okay that's like a nice garnish but he overdid it but it does look good we have to admit he looked like it looks like he did a good job on the chicken fingers and the fries and fries are hard to do it's hard to do home fry you gotta usually double you know you know i mean seems to me it seems to me that this this person has a deep fryer or at minimum an air fryer yeah this person who's made these some of the comments on this were not as glowing as maybe we had been and please help me zero one was the first one to say looks like you

put raisin canes on a glass plate and sprinkled dry parsley on it so kind of yeah he's kind of right wait what raisin canes yeah that's a place here that has really good bread the fast food chicken chicken finger restaurant yeah oh i see okay but i mean that's not that much of an insult though do you know what i mean to be like you homemade and you made them like a restaurant like a really popular restaurant like it's it's not like it's a gourmet meal it's chicken fingers you kind of want to make them like that i think it is on our food though i wouldn't trust redditors with any kind of food based you know expertise yeah yeah you know really redditors are great at making rules for each other and not much else you know well that helps a lot when we're talking about guys though because that's one of the big thing about being a guy like part of you know a guy community is you just make all kind of rules for how you're able

to be a guy well it's rigged which is a reddit guy with a the little reddit guy has a maga hat on i think uh it says it's rigged he goes i'm not a foodie but any adult wrong place. Yeah. He took a wrong turn somewhere. He goes, I'm not a foodie, but any adult who orders chicken tenders at restaurants should be embarrassed. And he got downvoted 15 times. Which makes me like him. Yeah. I mean, that's like, that's really funny. That idea of a bunch of people like me, a bunch of manlets out there who are like,

what the fuck are you talking about? Like, excuse me, it's food. Embarrassed for what? For fucking enjoying fucking chicken in a restaurant? Downvote, downvote, downvote. Log into my other account. Downvote. Everybody's hot under the cover.

Well, a guy goes, why and uh it's rigged responds and says because you're a grown adult eating chicken tenders do you want the chef to cut it into dinosaur shapes are you too picky for flavors did your parents fail to make you eat vegetables are the other things you eat buttered noodles and soft cookies did your teeth grow man okay man man hey stop that classic meme that stop stop he's already dead you know like just just leave the guy alone the major point you're you're absolutely correct you're absolutely right okay listen it's anyone on reddit food to stop eating chicken figures yeah it's just a futile exercise yeah as much as i agree with what he's saying it is a pointless thing to do if you only listen i i eat normal foods too though in my defense do you

know what i mean like i eat normal adult foods as well i don't only eat baby foods like when i eat a salad i brag so hard i'll be i tell everybody oh i don't know of too many babies who eat a little thing called sushi ever heard of it yeah that's right well i like this line that he says did your teeth grow in crooked for eating like a subhuman wow okay there's a whole world of options out there and you opt for something from the freezer we got to rebuild shame in our society wait a second that's what we need to do the first step to fixing society we need more people aren't feeling enough shame nowadays i've noticed at least personally i barely ever feel it anymore it's fucking brutal um but who's taking chicken listen you don't take them out of the freezer presumably if you're ordering them at a

restaurant a lot of the times they're making them in house they're breading up a chicken breast and they are you know they're doing it right there like i don't understand what they mean like most of the time they are actually not doing that that sucker out of the freezer no you guys have done three so you guys so you guys are little plastic bags and you guys are showing you guys are showing how fucking stupid you are right now you're showing how ignorant you are about food and about you're showing that you're not foodies because anybody with a with a a palate you know like mine can tell the difference between a frozen chicken finger and a and an in-house made and of course if you're a foodie like me, you're asking the server. Do you make

chicken fingers in-house? Excuse me? Hi, sorry. In the house? You have to go ask? Okay. Branson, I've actually asked that before. I'm not even joking. What kind of chicken fingers do you have?

Are the chicken fingers frozen or do you guys do them in the house? You marinate them in buttermilk overnight and then bread them and let them sit in the container and then you fry them, I presume. You could go ask the chef. What's his name? Blade? Can you go ask Blade how he makes his chicken fingers? Can you go ask Blade how he makes his chicken fingers? One of the things I'm going to do eventually is the tattooed chef as an episode, because those guys, they'll get bacon tattooed on their knuckles and shit.

Oh, yeah. Pink Union 8992 said, not going to lie, those chicken strips look dried out. You're going to need more sauce with that. Not me. Thanks. We're getting cocky about the chicken yeah come on you cannot be like well what's wrong with it and then get like cocky like it's fucking red wine you're judging come on guy yeah well this person goes so basic yet so enjoyable can never go wrong with tenders and fries it's always nice when you get a little tub of sauce on the side too so this guy responds and goes it's always nice when you get a little like like he's acting like

sometimes as a treat they'll give you a little sauce to dip them in like yeah that's a that's a big part of chicken tenders every you always have sauce that's the biggest part of chicken tenders nobody for a lot of people nothing uh. Ariel, my girlfriend, she sometimes eats them with no sauce. I will say that. She raw dogs a chicken figure. That's. Well, I don't. I don't say it like I would not say that.

Well, my pregnant girlfriend. But yeah, she does for all intents and purposes. Yeah. Well, ambulance chaser 12 does say that looks like barbecue sauce which i wouldn't be such a fan of for chicken tenders i would do honey mustard for the tendies and ketchup for the fries oh that's cool so like yeah i'm not really sure about the like yeah okay yeah different that's why they have different sauces that you choose from because different people have different opinions.

Some people like what's the other one? Plum sauce. Honey mustard. Yeah, I know. He said that one. But there's other ones as well. There's a couple. Maybe ranch, perhaps.

I'm a ranch guy. Who doesn't love ranch foodies? But I'm a barbecue sauce or honey mustard. Often, you know, honey mustard is my go-to dip for chicken tenders. Well, Green Inferno did say, when I was a teenager, I judged people who ate chicken strips when they went out. I've since matured and realized simplicity and classics done well have a lot of value. If you want to look godly, you need honey mustard. look godly you need honey mustard i think like since americans are just in general like raised on eating a lot of fried food a lot of fries a lot of stuff like this i think what happens is

like a lot of nerds just eat the most generic stuff the easily palatable stuff and then they hit 30 32 or something and then they're like well my stomach i'm constantly taking seven shits a day i'm getting older i don't know if i can keep up eating like this and then they get a little cocky and be like well i don't know if you could eat chicken it's like because you can't eat fucking fried food for every meal every fucking day every meal every meal when i was growing up was was really was that it was really was either fried stuff. There was never vegetables. Brown meal.

That's what I call a brown meal. You have a brown meal most of the time. You're going to have a rough night. I'm lucky. Nobody really teaches, in America at least, you don't get taught how to cook. It's not even a thing that's considered yeah when you're in school where they would be like maybe i'll teach them some of the basics of like even just browning hamburger i think i learned how to cook in like high school or whatever and i live in canada of course but i

don't know that it's that much different but i did when i grew up i definitely had meals with like you know vegetables like normal meals yeah your palate we had vegetables corn corn that was the big vegetable i would have i would have like broccoli and and brussels sprouts and we didn't like salads not missouri get that shit out of here okay yeah butter on it too we don't give a fuck that's my apologies yeah no i uh i live in vancouver soy couver so i mean i'm just i i like all kinds of you guys ever heard of edamame beans yeah basically basically turakamu says i used to judge people quote after the last guy goes demands a certain sauce so he's mad because the guy's a hypocrite how dare you he is a hypocrite he wants a sauce

and uh green inferno replies and says i fail to see the correlation with to which he gets a response and says you used to look down upon people but after a while you realize that chicken tastes good and who are you to blame but you still require honey mustard the little funny being that while you used to do the thing you still do it so i don't know what that guy's talking about but uh no he's doing he's we're we're like out of our element here he's doing reddit or quora or whatever he's like doing it properly you know what i mean he's like squabbling and just like yeah seeking out conflict over nothing and just arguing semantics arguing arguing just nonsense.

That's what's happening right now. You know, the final comment here from Cody Northrup is the green looks good for contrast, but I'm a bit surprised that they added parsley. Looks like they were just trying to make a kid's meal look like an adult meal. Adding it to the ketchup was a bit of a weird one. Am I? Yeah, I think that that person nailed it i think trying to make a sort of a kid meal look at more adult with the garnish you're

not fooling anybody you gotta get some micro greens if you want to do that correctly nowadays maybe some edible flowers on that motherfucker yeah a sauce you drizzle around the pan and but not barbecue you don't want. You don't want to. Oh, you don't want to do barbecues. You got to do a coolest or an aioli, which is not mayo. It's something fancier. Yeah, I hate aioli on me, too. I don't like mayonnaise either, though.

So what do you think of the term foodie was asked in Reddit? And he goes, I personally think 99% of self-proclaimed quote foodies are douchebags when it comes to talking about food but what do i know i just cook for a living and they pay my wages oh oh what do i know i'm only the biggest expert on this in the whole world and i basically fucking support an entire family only based on my knowledge about this you can tell this guy is a line cook because he talks like a fucking line cook because that's how every fucking line cook I know

talks. Well, I guess that's bullshit. Like just immediate overreaction. Just angry guy. They're used to immediately going to 10 because they work in an area that's just hell and hot and it's loud and they just

scream fuck all the time behind you my sister is a chef and like first of all the thing i know is that they don't like any food at any restaurant except for the one they work at every place else is gross and they know everybody else and why things are gross. But this guy goes, but that doesn't mean I want to talk food with them. I'm really a quote. I'm just really into kosher salt right now. So he's kind of goofing on him for. Yeah. Can you imagine someone said that?

That would be a piece of shit. You know what? I'd fucking kill him. Yeah. I'd shoot him dead. I'd shoot him dead if they tried to bring that up to me. I'm going to sit around and talk about salt. So somebody does.

Well, first he goes, I'm not defending the foodie label, which he then goes on to do. I like it that they're all talking like they're a PR like crisis team. Like, I'm not like, you don't have to be here. You don't have to be talking at all. Yeah, you just go eat the food like they're trying to prevent getting canceled by i'm saying like i think foodies are fine yeah i'm just a small town food lawyer what could i well i well this is such a funny he goes uh i'm not defending the foodie label, but not everyone likes to eat. I have several friends who just eat to live, but don't care what it is or what it tastes like. Me on the other hand.

Vince McMahon. Hello, Vince McMahon. Famously never, ever thought about any of the food he ate. Doesn't care. Only considers it as fuel for his body. And so he eats like the plain, just like plain chicken breast and turkey breast and stuff like that just like a bizarre guy yeah he's a very weird guys i love a finely crafted meal meal where every detail has been left unattended i can taste the different herbs and textures

etc etc now he's jacking off he's really it's edible art does that make me a foodie yes i think yeah i think that makes you that you're skipping straight to gourmand yeah you're okay if you chubbing up when you're describing a sauce you're a gourmand man branson is really trying to make gourmand lovely word Lovely word. At the end of this it's what food he used to be in like the 80s and 90s you'd be a gourmand. You used to in order to call yourself

a gourmand you used to have to be able to have your belly bust one of the buttons of your suit as you were sitting down eating. You must have like a cumberbund that bus that you have to at least be 300 pounds nowadays that's the requirements to be now they let anyone be a foodie is like foodie you're like oh yeah okay so your shirt is just completely

buttoned up well he doesn't mention this he does say does that make me a foodie fuck if i know or care it's just a term that people have heard that describes the thing they like does gourmand sound any less pretentious yeah or you know i'm a level 20 eater with a napkin of cleanliness that gives me the ability to wipe my own mouth on successive chews. How about if someone comes into your restaurant and calls themselves a foodie or whatever, and you take that as a compliment that A, that people who think they know food or may or may not be pretentious douchebags are frequenting your restaurant and an economy when dining out is rarer and rarer. I know it's easy to hate on people who make your job harder, but then again, I assume you aren't the fry cook at McDonald's fine dining is hard work.

Hell regular dining is hard work. Okay. Now I got to get down from my high horse. So I don't really, I don't really, I don't, I'm not really like getting a good foothold into a lot of these comments. I don't like,

I'm not, I'm not even that I'm don't like them. I guess I probably don't. I just, I don't really necessarily know what even that I'm don't like them I guess I probably don't I just I don't really necessarily know what their arguments are I seem to I'm kind of getting confused by them like where they even what side they even fall on what they're even talking about at all I think let me just I think they are I think they are what a outsider person would call a foodie. What is this guy talking about in this post? He's going on a Maddox style rant.

I think what I'm hearing here is a guy who's somewhere between like 33 and 40 years old, who grew up reading the Maddox rants, the Tucker Max style internet age, and is really kind of like those guys love ranting and they can't say anything in two sentences they need three paragraphs to build some point and they need to say like whatever fuck sauce or they need to have some sort of what is he what is the point he's making he's mad that the guy in the original thing is saying i work at a restaurant and you know i i'm it i i

what do i know about food these foodies come in and act like they know everything which if you work at a restaurant oh i see really fucking annoying and so he's he's just saying like hey you should appreciate these people or whatever he's like sticking up for the foodies yes well happy badger said judging someone else's passion makes you look like a tool if i wouldn't chide somebody for loving sport or chide no not the time chris oh sorry we're not we're waiting for my coin still it's it's two more months if i would yeah what day is it today well we shouldn't say because we record earlier but there's just oh no that's a different that's pastafarians yeah we're not very pastafarians have like uh they have a different holiday every day brants and so we

check in on them on the bonus episodes there's some pretty cool ones you know like like obviously made up excuse day and stuff like that. Like, it's very funny. They're really going to they're going to wear those religions down. They're going to win. They just got to keep doing that. Yeah. Honestly, religions are basically.

Yeah, I haven't even heard. I haven't heard much from them lately. Done. I think it's over for religion. Here comes some funny foodie stuff here. Any given dish has a wealth of different sides from the chemistry of it to the history of it to the aesthetic presentation and flavor design. And if I love spices because I love the thousands of years of history surrounding them, when it's very telling of anyone who says, LOL, y'all like Burger King or whatever, shut up. When I make a point of choosing particular variants of paprika for particular properties, this guy sucks. If you don't want to talk to foodies, don't talk to foodies.

It's amazing what one can accomplish when they aren't making pointless enemies of people who like different things. I hate that guy. Let people enjoy things. He's just basically he's like, that's I hate that guy. Let people enjoy things. He's just basically he's like, that's his whole thing. And let people enjoy things as well. You're wrong. Don't yell at me. Yeah.

And just because I like to use different types of paprika. Listen, we're not. You do whatever you want to do. But if you're going to act so stupid like that, some people are going to laugh at you for it or make fun of you about it like i recognize people make fun of me about like being so into sports or whatever you know like and like people do they make fun of like you know like ariel sometimes will like poke fun at me about like you know how passionate i get about sports or whatever it just comes with the territory people are gonna make fun of it a little bit some people goof on me for watching wrestling they think nobody makes fun of me for anything well you're you're let's be you're a big guy thank you i mean you're you're six foot eight or something i mean i would who's gonna make fun of

you for anything i mean online yeah true true yeah yeah but and by the way brian i want to i want to clap the thing people make funny about is Legos. It's not the rest. It's the Legos that people make. So that's actually fucking stupid. Like, it's pointless to make fun of the Legos because it's an adult activity. Okay, listen, we're not going to get into it again. But he ended up maybe 18 and up. I only and of course, a little while ago ago somebody somebody sent us a tweet a while back

um of their child putting together an 18 plus lego set so it shouldn't be allowed yeah one it's bad parenting because the kids shouldn't be putting together such complicated it was just a white house it wasn't like inappropriate it wasn't like inappropriate you It wasn't like inappropriate. You know, it didn't have adult. It's got a little poster that you clip on the side of the inside of the lighthouse that has a little naked Lego lady. It's a white house. White house. I have the light. Sixteen hundred Pennsylvania Avenue. Oh, OK.

Then, yeah, they definitely have like a weird naked lady that you can slide under in the Lincoln bedroom or something. I mean, if they had that, Brian would have bought the set it's a 1400 piece set though which is barely any pieces so anyway f in mike 12 uh now this is a guy i like because the first sentence he says is taste really isn't that subjective oh that that's an internet opinion that's a fucking wait a second so taste isn't subject so great opinion it's the best opinion i've ever seen there's nothing you can say to that what a great opinion that's a fucking banger of an opinion that is really because like if you somebody drops you in that lap what that in your lap what do you do to that nothing he goes of course there are three classes of tasters slash taste buds i fall into the high

end of that spectrum i love this wait a second wait i'm trying let this i'm dumb it is not subjective so it's objective it's objective yeah So it's like everyone tastes the same thing is what he's trying. I think is what he's saying. That stuff tastes good or it tastes bad. Yes. Yes. The same to everyone. I mean, but isn't that necessarily mad?

There's no cultural. There's no. That's physiologically. Isn't there the thing? Like, it doesn't cilantro tastes like soap for some people. Nope. Well, no, actually, it doesn't uh cilantro tastes like soap for some people nope no actually that's what you heard maybe but apparently not i just i love when people have the confidence to just be the arbiter of the universe no everyone tastes the same thing it's such an aggressive opinion that you can only that you

can i i love it because you can tell that he truly believes that and god that is so good yeah that's really that's really he's just great effing mike is great he goes uh but good food is good food i don't really understand your premise here if you suck you go out of business if you're good you have a line wrapped around the building if you're mediocre you embarrass the rest of us critics are important i would much rather hear of a problem and address it rather than hear nothing it's important so f and mike uh probably i guess doesn't understand like like he doesn't he sees the world in such black and white that i think i kind of admire him i'll bet you there's not a lot of subjectivity to him and he's always yelling at people yeah that's a i guess he just i mean that's dangerous like a very dangerous

mentality that like everybody is experiencing the world exactly the way i am it's the kind of confidence to like walk into best buy barefoot and go no i'm allowed to do this i'm allowed to be here i can do this no check the rules i can do this you're not gonna start you're gonna have to drag me that's the kind of confidence you have to have to make that statement well he also comes back later and he goes, people that come to my restaurant are what I call true foodies, at least for the most part. We try really hard to give them new and tasty things to try. We are passionate about the food we prepare and our base tends to be passionate, too. The one thing that annoys me is when a self-proclaimed foodie claims they don't like something.

For instance, olives olives maybe you shouldn't eat nasty olives from a tin can do some exploring so okay so yeah it's i respect foodies unless they try to tell me that something doesn't taste good then i'm like what the fuck are you talking yeah well no not that i think yeah that's what'm saying. Not that I think something that does taste good, Brian. All of it is a good tasting food, and you're going to come in and say it isn't. And then you're also claiming to be a foodie, but you're, like, incorrect about that one food. It is suspicious. I am a huge fan of olives.

I got to give it up to olives. I don't want to hear any disparaging comments. God, I don't want to embarrass myself here. So I just gonna go ahead and say yeah no i love olives i'm a glutton so like olives are a great snack for me because i'll get the pitted olives and if i get unpitted olive black or black or green i like the big green ones the calamari ones yeah um bigger the better i like big olives because it you gotta scrape i like the seeded ones and the Kalamata ones. Bigger the better. I like big olives because you got to scrape. I like the seeded ones. And you'll get a whole bowl of them.

You can eat those olives. It'll take you 30 minutes to eat like 200 calories worth of olives. I love that. Okay. So it has like a function, a snacking function for you as well. Yeah, I used to love olives. The truth is, like, i used to love them when i was a kid and then something happened when i got older that i just stopped like i don't i don't

hate them but i don't i don't love them you regress it's goblin food i always talk about that with andrew uh goblin food is like snails oysters olives anything pickled is goblin food all that stuff is great to me all that stuff i love snails you guys ever have snails goblin i have wonderful snails that's escargot right my daughter had them in france when she was there recently and was not high on them they're like snot butter you gotta lean into it you know i don't yeah just i'll never have them again just because the thing you just said um about snot butter it's gonna stick with me and i'm never gonna be able to eat them ever again but i did have them somewhat recently and didn't hate them uh for that i had them for the first time well here's a problem

with the foodies they're really asking the foodies and we're going to learn a new word here and uh we're going to start by the problem tonight i cooked an awesome dinner it was really delicious i made barbecued chicken roasted potatoes roasted cauliflower and baby bok choy sauteed in olive oil and garlic. My kids devoured their plates and even had seconds of their veggies. My husband had two bites and made awful faces through the whole dinner. I asked him what his problem was, and these were his issues. One, he doesn't like vegetables. He doesn't like to see meat on the bone ever.

Usually I carve the chicken ahead of time so he only gets nice slices today he came home yeah this guy has like this he might have like some sort of like psychological issues with food or something so i don't want to make fun of him too much but okay he does seem like a baby because sounds seems like a baby kind of like you have to cut his food up for me i mean i've never heard anybody as a a grown-up say they don't like vegetables like any vegetable there's you know you'd be i can't believe there's men out there criticizing their wife's meals i cannot believe there's men out there getting away with that yeah i mean i it couldn't be me

you know i mean i could get served up a big plate of feces and i would i would i'd eat the whole damn thing the whole thing with a smile on my face that's objectively bad though feces yeah of course of course but i yeah i i i think this i mean that's you have to eat vegetables right here's what you're asking i'm brian you have to eat vegetables right sometimes you have to eat that ryan you have to eat vegetables you have to eat vegetables yeah listening to this and you haven't ate a vegetable today just eat one yeah you have to it's not going to hurt you i ate broccoli today i i had lunch for For lunch, I had chicken, rice, and broccoli, actually. So I did have...

Oh, look at the fancy boy over here. It's not a fancy meal at all. I had a smoothie. I get smoothies. That's how I get all my vegetables. I put a ton of vegetables in a smoothie. What vegetables are you putting in there? Yeah, what veggies?

Spinach. Okay, that's a good start. Kale. Nice. Carrots. Nice. Chia seeds. spinach okay that's a good start kale nice carrots okay chia seeds that's not a vegetable but still good yeah it's basically a vegetable yeah it's so if it's not like brown or fried avocado avocado goes in there too and then i put nice good protein in that avocado as well that's nice i put three i put some hemp protein in there and then like a few cherries and a few pineapples blend that fucker up a few pineapples what color is this this shit's gotta be like mustard oh okay the kale and the

spinach will take we'll we'll make it green yeah definitely i'll sometimes have an acai bowl in the morning um that has you know hemp hearts in it and granola and uh almond butter oh real nice it's kind of a smoothie type thing as well you know i feel like if i had that i i i'm not i don't want to say it that's why i don't eat it because i don't want to say it acai if i did that i'd fuck up i'd immediately say yeah i had an acai bowl and then somebody would question me on it and i'd immediately shut down acai i said i don't know i don't know yeah yeah yeah it's okay though like then i have a place directly below like where i live like it's still directly below me and so i know them really well so if i and i'm going in there and it's just me when i'm ordering it so So it's like, even if I mess it up every time, they don't care.

Yeah. Well, what I did now is there's a few fine dining places in Columbus that are like Michelin star, I think, restaurants or James Beard winning restaurants. And I went to look at some of the reviews. And the first review i read was was uh over this place is chapman's eat market have you been there before i have but i got a cheeseburger so i don't know what the other food is okay i ordered cheeseburger what kind what could what type of a like is this a fancy fine dining it's fine dining yeah okay yeah uh overall this is a four-star review you don't usually read for it this is gonna be interesting to hear branzan

because he doesn't usually usually does one star review so i'm interested to hear why he picked this four-star review because overall a really great place they forgot about one of our appetizers but quickly brought it out and comped us my boyfriend mentioned an allergy then his plate was brought out with that exact item on it the flank steak was very tough the coffee pork belly had not even the faintest hint of coffee otherwise all the food service and flavors were exceptional the mushroom ravioli was by far the best dish highly recommend for anyone in the area so the reason i put that in there because they didn't seem to they had a lot of complaints for a four-star review that's like we know a certain gentleman in vancouver named

tony k who will give a one-star review just if the music is too loud so i mean or the water's too cold or the water's too cold like sometimes he's mad he wants room temp water only and if the water is too cold even if everything else is perfect he will give a one-star review to it and he lives in my hometown he's a legend um but but that is kind of this person is obviously a very kind person. Well, actually, no, a really kind person would not do not say the negative things. This is a weird person. It's a Yelp person that takes their reviews incredibly seriously. And it's like, well, I can't give them the five. Obviously, I can't give them the five.

Yeah. This is such a renowned place. And I don't want to step out and you know like because i'm just wondering why the four why like i don't know i can never figure out reviews i was talking about this earlier in the week but like i really don't i think we need to go to like a three review three star system where it's like good medium bad because a great opinion by the way i don't think americans have what it takes to work on a five-star system i don't know what makes three stars or two stars you're right what's good and what's bad you're right it's like you're looking at these fucking

reviews you're like oh this is a four and a half star restaurant but is it because everyone is using an entirely different metric to to do this so we're not on the same page so you can't get an actual good read on any of this stuff they need to come up with like a uniformed system and it has to like have things in place where it's like and you're not allowed to give it less than a two or whatever if it has this this and this you know like we need to agree on that i think yeah well nicholas hood is from columbus and he travels a lot and we're going to follow him around congratulations nicholas oh very cool friend i wonder if maybe does it for work or i wonder if it's for leisure he seems like a leisurely guy but i i mean you know i travel a lot too so it's a pretty impressive thing to do uh actually i mean you go to aew events okay but

i'm going to alaska and there's no wrestling there yeah i believe that's because you're because your wife wants to do something actually cool right what is it that your wife wants to do watch the aurora borealis yeah so your wife wants to do something that's like actually cool and it's like had to like like basically said like listen we we go non-stop constantly to aew events do you think we could fucking go out and experience the world once and brian's like oh fine i'll go look at aurora borealis and you can watch clips on your phone yeah exactly what i will do right i'll be sitting there watching orange cassidy with his hands in his pockets headlining some bullshit you don't even want to know what's going on in wrestling these days branson it's i work as a job coach with a lot of uh uh autistic guys and they keep me really up to date oh so you probably know how

ww aew is making a mockery of all industry. They were talking to me for 30. One of my guys was talking to me for 30 minutes today about the upcoming programming shift for WWE moving to a different day. And that's changing his schedule. Yeah. Well, they don't know if it's going to move yet, but it could. It could. Well, that's not what I heard.

But Nicholas Hood reviewed the same place and gave it three stars and he said oh really this is what people were raving about oh this is that's a that yeah you know you're that is a good intro to a three-star review because it's just right down the middle it's a gut punch really like this fucking mediocre ass shit is what you guys are all popping off about yeah like it really is and that's a real sort of standard foodie kind of opinion too or not even maybe a foodie just like a review opinion of like really fancy restaurants you'll always find those like really this is what you know it's because they don't understand what they're a lot of times like because i was reading bad reviews of like the best restaurants in the world and it really felt like a

lot of them were people who who were like hey i wanted to take my wife somewhere that's really expensive and they don't because i do the same i'm that way too like when instead of figuring out what would be the best thing i just find out what the most expensive thing is and i'm like that's what we're gonna do and it might have a small menu it might have like a small menu and it might not have things that would necessarily be things you would enjoy well like if you're going to like a french afghani fusion restaurant and you're like what the fuck are yogurt dumplings it's just like get out of there just get out of there yeah you're like what are you man cheeseburgers you know like

yeah if you google the menu they have pictures online you can look at the pictures you can look there's no reason to go to a restaurant you don't like if you go to a restaurant you don't like and you chose it you fucked up you fucked up the honest would be like hey this restaurant looks beautiful but i fucked up i fucked up it's not for me they didn't have any ketchup here they looked at me weird they didn't have any ketchup was a big like right when i walked in the door i said where's the ketchup and they said we don't have any and i knew it was going to be a long night well this guy gets into it uh so he goes this is not the first time in columbus or german village i felt the rave did not match the

food i honestly looked around thinking is it just me am i too picky but i am not i eat at far less prestigious restaurants with a better summary brussels sprouts like every other restaurant in columbus lately for first of all going in on brussels sprouts that shit was fucking eight years ago bud with bacon bits they found that shit out eight years yeah dude you're totally right you're just catching up on that shit you're gonna find out about turmeric in three years they're they're they're doing they're doing the crispy brussels sprouts like maybe not eight you're like then they start but that even that was like four years ago when they started coming in with the real crispy kind of brussels sprouts uh but yeah this is a common thing in restaurants

now sir and he goes it's like you're gonna find out about the brussels sprout salad where they shave it to do a salad in about a year and you're gonna be really wow i like that it's a trend and fine they're good but small bits of mostly mild flavored burnt ends not enough so to contrast the quite monotone flavor of the veggie and its so-called horseradish companion was muted entirely some radish vegetable monotone fucking flavored like it just has one fuck it's a fucking vegetable yeah yeah that's why they put one flavor that's why they cooked it in the stuff that's why they put this stuff on it's eating this stuff it's got one flavor it's like it's like why would you eat this oh it just oh it's got i guess all these nutrients and stuff that you need or whatever

some radish and apple mixed in to generate some texture dynamic it was fine well made but a bit unexciting the general so cauliflower well prepared but any good gooey sweet asian american smothered veggie is bound to be tasty and while they were so so now he's saying like yo this shit was good but it's like of course it was he's trying to he's trying to prove his credentials he's trying like, yo, this shit was good, but it's like, of course it was. He's trying to prove his credentials. He's trying to prove I have the ability and the vocabulary to talk about food in a meaningfully engaging way. So what we have learned is that this review is really not about the food he ate. The review is about himself.

Oh, yeah. This next line. And while they were still, it was a two dimensional. Any pairing or anything with a bit more flair to contrast would have helped. It felt like a la cart side more than a starter. The chicken wings apparently dry rubbed, as bare as I could see in the dark. Mostly just spicy and genuinely left me looking for anything with game or meat flavor or garlic or lemon. As plain and boring as any well-cooked

chicken wing i've ever had which by the way why yeah so you're just ordering chicken wings i mean they're just chicken wings they don't have any lemon or garlic it's like what who fucking does that for regular chicken wings it's butter and hot sauce 50 percent of the time they didn't have the chicken wings with the stuff you like on them. Now he goes, honestly, the pasta was smoked bacon. The noodles were so beyond al dente. They were squished and served in a plain bowl. The ragu or sauce had good smoky elements with some muted acidity and compliment to tomato. But anyone can add smoky to a dish and let it talk for you.

Hang on. Hang on, hang on. Sorry, sorry. What did you just say there? Read that sentence again. Anyone can add smoky? The ragu or sauce had good smoky elements with some muted acidity and complement to tomato, but anyone can add smoky to a dish and let it talk for you.

Fucking moron. So anyone can add smoky to a dish and let it talk for you. So anyone can add smoky to a dish and let it talk for you. That is. Can we get that in the comments? Is it common? Like, it's really easy to smoke pasta. Yeah. Anyone can get a smoky taste into there and let it talk for you.

I mean, yeah. Add a little liquid smoke. It'll cook out. It lacked. Find out for yourself. And I believe if you're going to have titles awarded by the New York Times and compete with other central Ohio food stops that are so diverse and creative and hardworking, you should really make sure you knock it out. That is not what happened here. I found myself thinking of what Gordon Ramsay might say, usually pushing the narrative of less is more true, although it may be.

It was too less here and american bistro with no specials no flair just good ambience and tired dishes not good enough and maybe the remaining dishes were to die for but i had three of the four starters and only two entrees so there is more chance to impress here i assume but five dishes in a row shouldn't be a snooze i'm usually quite reserved with feedback such as this but i really felt it was warranted well you ate five fucking dishes bud yeah yeah good review of a restaurant you didn't hate it that much you were fucking shitting and you woke up at 2 a.m to take the most painful shit of your life i think that's a good endorsement of a yeah as i started to follow this guy around i started to look at maybe some of

his other reviews and here's one from chipotle mexican grill okay so this is all right i mean can i guess the star yeah i'm going to guess two stars he put. One. It's a one. Yeah, dude. Are you kidding? I don't know. I thought maybe it could be stuff. This guy strikes me as a contrarian.

You guys are going to love the first sentence of this. Like most Chipotle's around the world. I know because I've been. This one is no exception. No exception to the new brand of Chipotle. And I'm glad to see others speaking out. I have not seen people speaking out about Chipotle. The only thing I remember is that South Park episode a long time ago

where they eat the Chipotle, and then they kept shitting or something. I mean, they do have it now, and it's made its way here. Maybe I've had it a couple of times. It was always pretty, I don't know. It seemed just kind of like normal shitty mexican food you know it's fast food it's fine you know there's it's not very they don't really have anything actually mexican about it it's it's it's a great you know i'll i eat chipotle probably like once a month but you know it is what it is. It's a food diaper. It's a lot of food wrapped up conveniently in a way that's pretty palatable, and it's better than getting McDonald's.

Yeah. And it is good. When we were on tour, I would eat Chipotle sometimes just because it's like, well, they have vegetables and the other places don't. Yeah. It's like when you get sweet potato fries at a restaurant you're like that's fine that's enough yeah maybe corporate will do something about it but overall the issue is every single staff member acts like you've inconvenienced them asking for anything different than what they apparently do oh good for your bowl or otherwise

wait a second whoa whoa so you're trying to like so he's either saying let's go at him he's either saying that they are trying to tell him what he's allowed to have in his bowl or he's trying to ask for special things that they're not allowed to put in there and they're like no we're not allowed to put that in there it costs extra and he's getting mad about that so i don't know what do you think is happening i think that's an off-menu order an off-menu addition that got denied and instead of getting mad about it what he did is he went and then he made a mental note to himself yeah one star that's one star yeah do you think this was a parking lot review brian yes because there's so much more here. Okay.

He didn't even start the car before he started writing this one. There's a parking lot review. Sometimes they give confirmation of that, right? Where you're just like, I'm sitting outside right now in my car. And you're just like, you don't have to. Don't tell on yourself. You're so mad. You're so fucking mad.

You're so mad. Staff are consistently modern part of the new era of arrive when i please groan and show my discontent for the world to see so wait a second he's concerned he's they're not arriving to work on time is he aware of their schedule they should do what he does and complain only when you're able to do it online in his business don't just complain for the sake of it you got to go and actually affect somebody's business oh man i i just everybody was like me you know it'd just be such a better world well i mean everybody tastes food the same as i do wait wait it's like so yeah like what does he mean he's just saying the general sort of idea

like the way people are nowadays just kind of like workers aren't very good like he's not actually anymore yeah it goes way it goes into more detail managers not dare reprimand staff or just as bad as their staff or worse management fearful of being ganged up on or fired for being too tough on their staff you see a lot of resentment when you come in a stroke past 9 30 p.m which you know a lot of us don't do that if it closes at 10 a lot of us are like you know what it's nine yeah yeah you don't it depends on what it is but yeah if you're gonna require them to make you a bunch of stuff or whatever and you can see that they're closing up it's just kind of a bad move to pop in there and expect them to make the food for you but it sounds to me like this guy

had a very specifically bad experience that he is now sort of describing in a very general way about society. Was very unsatisfactory. I prefer a different location. What's a much better behaved burrito slave. We do have a second Chipotle too, from this guy. So we wouldn't know.

And there's a review. Okay. Did you review that one after he reviewed this one? Is it a spite good interview for a different Chipotle? This is a three star. Yeah. Okay. But this one, he goes, you see a lot of resentment when you come in a stroke past 930 PM.

And unlike the years when Chipotle was top notch, they start clean up and close pre prep super prematurely and are then inconvenienced by your presence. They're so often out of something. And don't dare. Yeah, when you come in 15 minutes before it closes and they're using fresh ingredients, yes, they are going to be out of stuff. It's how things work. Yeah, you're there at the end. Every single place is like that.

I went down to the bakery. I couldn't get a lemon loaf because it was near the end of the day because they sell out i mean chipotle you're not like you're not treating yourself no yeah exactly don't dare and i mean not any chipotle anywhere dare to order online lol i mean the degree to which they ruin orders is incredible this is what a company looks like that's allowed politics of the current era to dictate how they choose to address the children or grown children working for them it's really bad and hard to remain impartial so he's he's making a lot of leaps here unless he like works at corporate for chipotle or has like been there

because he's like basically saying like the reason that we're having these issues is because of the like the woke stuff we're not allowed to hit the fucking burrito slaves anymore they're not allowed to have a whip don't have a whip we don't have the chains anymore and the chains were like he didn't even barely have to use them just having them there would be enough to sort of make them understand. We're keeping the avocados in the Iron Maiden. We're not even using it. Yeah. His Chipotle was the very same. A poor experience with rude staff who rush you through, even if you're the only one in the building,

and demand to know what you're getting in advance, but can't remember when they get there. The place is dirty. They're out of this and that. And the manager has a chip on their shoulder, but no tortilla chips in the building. Awful. That's kind of a funny joke, though. I got to give him that, that he did throw in a kind of a good laugh line there, like a chip on his shoulder, but no tortilla chips in the building.

That got a laugh out of me. Well, here's the three star one from Indianapolis, Indiana. Chipotle, Mexican girl. Chipotle generally has fallen off staff are afraid of punishing or leading woke staff and being labeled god goodness knows what or managers are as bad as their team i found this to be true at basically all chipotles and i travel globally can you can you can sorry sorry can you imagine like i know there are plenty of people like this where, like, they're so, like, infected with this idea of, like, woke destroying the world that, like, they're seeing it everywhere. So this guy is, like, going into Chipotle and he's just like, hmm, they seem to be kind of a little bit angry at me for showing up at 945.

And he has found a way to make that about the woke stuff in his head. Like, that must be exhausting to be doing that all the time a peter griffin looking ass at another chipotle i think i'm taking my business elsewhere it is so weird to call a chipotle made fun of by a single black teenager and that permanent yeah i mean it's conservative it just turned him into yeah totally all right um and he goes uh this chipotle however i had a decent experience but maybe just luck of the draw so first of all he said that but then he he did some starbucks and got one in uh valley park missouri oh I ordered a chai latte made with oat milk and one pump of vanilla and a shot of espresso. No more complicated than the average custom order, I think.

Hope nothing bad happens. Well, I'm guessing you just got that order totally fine and went on with your day. Well, I'm going to tell you, he did do a misspelling that i am going to say that will sound like i flubbed but here goes okay i got a cup of hot oak milk with a shot of it okay hey we got it hey we got a review flub folks this isn't this is a non-brian flub we love flubs on on the podcast but every now and then we've got one from a guy. This is a guy flub. Oak milk, folks. We can let that rain down in the comments. I'd be mad if I asked for oat milk and got oak milk. Yeah.

With a shot of espresso instead with no chai. Espresso, though. That one's all Brian, everyone. Espresso is all Brian. And now he goes like this. Is it a tiny espresso? It's a fast one. This is very indicative of Starbucks and Chipotle and the sort of modern establishments.

And they're seemingly begrudged staff and terrified managers who dare not reprimand staff. Okay. So these managers are living in fear. You don't have to make burrito. Whatever you want. He obviously complained to a manager and the manager was like fuck off man i don't care like that's what happened he's like can i talk to your manager and the manager came out and was like yeah i'm not gonna help you out here sir we're not doing anything crazy here we're not gonna like it or you don't this is it man you can go we're just we're just chipotle man you have your

burrito you go about your day nobody's making any decisions about what's woke and what's not in fucking valley park in the st louis suburbs nobody's going you know guys chipotle we got to get more woke out here no honestly i i love the fact that he's reviewing Starbucks and the incident at Chipotle is so fucking burned into his brain that he's just like everything now. He's just like, well, this Starbucks thing is just like fucking Chipotle. There's no reason to do outreach politically to guys like this because they're getting radicalized by fast food. Yeah. And there's no hope for them to have any kind of independent no no i mean and this guy really i think because a guy that writes these this many reviews he's he's up at like 400

reviews or whatever on google and a guy that writes reviews like this and takes all the pictures and stuff like that you gotta think in his mind he thinks he's changing. He's like making a change like that. Some fat cat like the Howard Schultz guy or whatever is looking at Starbucks one star reviews. And he's like, I mean, I am sick of this wokeness. We've discussed it, though. I think it might have. Personally, I think it's more to do with like, they don't think they're doing that. I think they're like influencing the consumer.

They're like in a small part, like I hurting this business i am like affecting it i am part of this like people are reading this and it's part of this overall score for this and i am like able to like put my two cents in but you're right i mean some of them might actually be crazy enough to think that like this is gonna you know this might actually this is a strong enough review that this one actually might go straight up to court you guys ever looked at google reviews of jails no really really nasty they're like one star this jail sucks fair enough i look fucking awesome to look at the jail reviews sometimes they'll be really elevated and well thought out.

And they'll be like, well, the food here is better than Santa Vista. But if you want a visitation, it's going to take like four weeks. Like very few of those. It's mostly fuck this jail. Yeah. I looked at this hotel that's like disgusting. You can. And it got like a one star review from a guy who said, if you pay with cash, it costs $60.

But if you pay with a card, it costs 45. That's bullshit. And it's like, yeah, I worked at a motel that was $33 a night. I can tell them exactly why that's happening, because they looked at you and they thought this guy doesn't have a credit card. I don't want him fucking up my shitty motel charge him more money one of the other bad reviews said it had mustard on the sheets and i was like i don't know if i that's mustard i don't know what it is but if it's mustard that's the least of your concern yeah totally you're you're you're happy when you if you smell that mustard smell

when you put your face my boss i worked at the worked at the America's Best Value Inn in Columbia, Missouri. And my boss, when we would get a bad review, would go to Google and do everything they could to fight it. But when they weren't able to get it off, what they would do is make dummy accounts at the motel across the street from us and be like, I like just doing fake reviews on the motel across the street that's awesome uh he goes uh he goes and so yet so you get this madhouse of mistakes which is truly odd anyhow cheers to milk that was different won't order that again maybe if i order a cup of hot milk i'll get water with a shot of caramel next time at least they keep you guessing so he gives this next starbucks three stars and it's in paris france so we get a pair this fucking guy goes to paris france and goes to starbucks i love that it's fun like i

mean they're kind of known to happen for having cafes. Does Paris have a Chipotle? Like most French Starbucks, they seem to resent the place despite being employed. So they work and treat service like a casual glob. Bathrooms are really dirty, too. Unfortunately, we get it. The French love all things French, and Starbucks is hardly that. But a Frenchman's got to work. So very mad about that. Now, I got two more reviews from this guy and we can go nasty sports bar and restaurant

is wait hold on is that the name of the sports bar it's called nasties yeah that's fucking awesome so fucking i will say this that if you have i'm gonna wait and hear the review but i think some of the stuff maybe might be covered just by the name you know that you just kind of kind of lower your expectations a bit losing it at nasties is that close is that close i used to live in hilliard for a little bit for like so so could you go to nasties i could go to nasties if i i could how long would it take you it would take me 15 minutes to drive there probably buddy okay let's let's hear this review but i might we might have to send you out to nasties if you're not gonna go to i'm looking i found the nasties website i actually don't know i i had never heard of it but he said three stars and and then when i started

to read the review i was like what the fuck he goes the number of times they have undercooked their grilled chicken whoever hires these cooks doesn't vet them at all assumably no exaggeration i have ordered and gotten raw chicken a few times and just gave up all together i mean it's nasties he loves going to places he reviews poorly he just keeps going and he's just like fuck it sucks still it sucks buddy that's one of the dishes at nasties that's the rare chicken that's the chicken you know that's just like a standard dish there they have all kinds of nasty shit like the staff seems confused about what to do or how to customer service it is called nasties after all so yeah you know i i knew that the name was going to come into it in the form of a joke but i really thought it would have been like they were really correct when they named this place nasties you know yeah that's what's going to be the line

i'm gonna let you guys guess the amount of stars on this Dave and Buster's in New Orleans. Okay, so I've never been to a Dave and Buster's because we don't have them in Canada, but I know what they are. I'm familiar with it. It's like an arcade type place, right? Yeah, it's kind of like adult Chuck E. Cheese. Gotcha. Okay, so it's not a high end type place, right? No, you're playing time crisis and you're

drinking like manhattans until you run out of money okay yeah okay uh branson do you want to guess the stars five i i feel like there's got to be like a a sideways move here like i'm going five i am going one five it's a five starstar review of a davin busters if you think about it what does he complain about customer service davin busters they talk to you like you're a fucking dog and to a lot of people uh that's what they think like good customer services it's like welcome to davin busters you want to have fun? Are you great? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. See, this is not fair. I didn't know Dave and Busters. I have, you know, as I said, I've never been to one before. So I was at a disadvantage here.

You had the inside scoop. It's Dave and Busters. They're all the same, mostly, with exceptions for locale or staff. Personally, I'm just gracious to have a place to come play games with friends and a drink if i wish as americans i feel like we take for granted our privilege man yeah starting more sentences with as america as americans i don't think about how lucky we are we could go to dave and busters and just we're so glued to our phone yeah you can americans ipod iphone sitting here on your phone playing your video games how about going out with your friends and playing arcade games at

dave and buster's you know why not you know talk in real life instead of talking on an app you know as americans we just lost our way and you can get an appetizer at Dave and Buster's. He goes, as Americans, I feel we take for granted our privilege. And often in just this sort of way, not many countries have establishments. You can drink and eat parentheses, not good food, in my opinion, and take the family or adult friends, et cetera, and play a large variety of carnival games or arcade games or modern VR and so on. This place is seemingly short-staffed. Nothing too impressive, but it's fun. Enjoy.

That's a five-star review. Doing a seemingly short-staffed. It's like no one came by enough when you were playing Rampage World Tour and anything else for you, Master? He just loves arcade games quite clearly or like you know like carnival games so like that's basically what he's saying like just the idea of having a place where he can do that and feel like a kid again and go and play his little games that that just makes him happy he doesn't even care if they don't have enough staff there yeah well he's a foodie though and uh one last thing here we got a review of the french laundry cookbook which is the most

expensive restaurant in the country yes michael kitts gave it one star and he said french laundry cookbook the most expensive restaurant in america with food that the average person will never eat the cookbook has very few recipes yet what are included in this overpriced book of garbage is food the average person would never want to eat. It's same to say I returned the book and the restaurant couldn't pay me $3.75 a person to eat there. So Michael Kitts will not be eating at the French Lingerie. Well, yeah, that was a chain he'd go. I mean, that is exactly what you're talking about like yeah that's just it's not for you it does not have any dishes that are like that align with the type of food you like that will make your

tummy feel okay or whatever you know i have a very specific complaint with this and it has to do in kind of like bone appetit or something not hand, but you know what I mean? Like more supposedly upscale recipe places. There's a huge thing that people will review the Bon Appetit recipes and be like, this sucks because. And then they'll just talk about like in all of those fancy cookbooks, they're going to fucking make you get tarragon. They're going to make you get mustard seeds. They're going to make you get a specific type of red wine. You got to get cabs. Have you got to do this?

It's super like specific shit and people just go i'll just replace the red wine with white wine i'll just replace the mustard seeds with chia seeds i'll just replace you know the whole milk with uh uh half and half and then they fuck it up and they're like this recipe doesn't fucking work it's like you didn't fucking follow you have to do it exactly yeah cooked a single thing out of that French laundry cookbook. There's no way he was, like, sautéing green beans and slicing almonds. There's no way he was doing any of that. Yeah, he just looked at it, read it, and was just like,

this is a bunch of shit. What the fuck is this shit? It was something like caviar, but he called it fish eggs. And he was like, i need no goddamn fish eggs like he's very mad at it you know that's what i think it's always caviar to me it's caviar and sushi my favorite defense of people who don't really eat a lot of ambitious stuff is also um the move of you know it's what normal people eat yeah so you're just talking about yourself you don't like normal people wouldn't eat this yeah you'd have to be some sort of freak to eat this

yeah it is so funny when it's like uh it is always so funny to hear them like like put their like normal people in america eat like five things there's not like a lot of variation on what normal people in america eat like fucking morons my dad eats frozen pizza four nights a week you can't do that you can't teach that to somebody yeah i know i know i know somebody who wakes up in the middle of frozen pizza i know none of my clothes fit i know someone who wakes up in the middle of the night and eats three king-sized caramelos and then goes back to sleep and drools brown shit like drool all over his pillow and then he has and then he has to wipe it off and clean it before his wife sees that and he lives in america i don't even know what you're talking about. All right.

That is the foodie episode of guys. Very fun. Branson, tell people where to find you. And just look out. You know, E1. Just figure it out. You know, figure it out. E1 podcast of Pixar's sodas.

That's sort of taking the internet by storm a little bit. Check sodas i'm not gonna explain it don't explain it but check it out it's doing really well and it's all over the place yeah i am uh murder x brian on patreon i think when you're listening to this it's the end of october so i have no fucking idea what we're doing on the uh on the bonus feed but the stream twitch.tv slash murder x brian me and uh chris do a stream basically every sunday night that wrestling's not on and watch my channel too please if you listen to this not even a show watch it i'm using ai now i have a lot of famous people's cell phone numbers and i'm calling them as each other and causing a lot of issues in their lives. So coming over and taking away by AI,

I guess the impressionists are fucked now and check me out. I'm going to be performing at nasty's bar and grill. I'll open for you, Branson. That's very close. When I say I'm doing a set, I mean, I'm eating a hamburger and then a hot dog

and then some pizza oh hell yeah i'll do a couple of i'll do a couple of reps of that set if you know what i'm saying