Guys: With Bryan Quinby - Guys: Episode 38 - Halloween Guys with Nick Lutsko

Episode Date: October 31, 2023

Happy Halloween my ghoulies, I think that we just created a new tradition by doing Halloween Guys because this episode came out on halloween! We learn about the war about inflatables, christmas and we look at some haunted house reviews and then, the biggest lesson of all, we learned about Swinger Christmas (Halloween) so there is even some gross stuff in there You can find more Nick at https://twitter.com/NickLutsko and https://www.patreon.com/nicklutsko and you can hear his very catchy Halloween song at the end of the episode There is much more Chris at youtube.com/noteveashow and twitter.com/notevenashow and of course https://www.patreon.com/notevenashow And for more Guys content, streams and SHOCKTOBER: a deep dive into shock jocks you can click patreon.com/murderxbryan twitter.com/murderxbryan and twitch.tv/murderxbryan

Welcome to Guys, a podcast about guys. I'm Brian. Murder Brian. I'll be Murder Brian, the shock jock on this one. And I am here with, you know, Killer Chris. Okay, so you didn't have anything for me that time as far as that was nice. You usually insult me in the beginning. He knows I'm panicking about content he's like ah you didn't come up with a case yeah you couldn't even come up with one of your signature uh episode specific insults in the beginning yeah killer chris i guess does work

though it's hey it's this is actually halloween right this is coming out this is halloween day now if you're listening to the day after it came out it's november 1st and if you're listening to it two days after it came out it's november 2nd listening to it three days after it came out it's going to be november 3rd and if you're listening to it a week after guess what it's november like 7th or something november 6th that's my birthday but But anyways, we got a great guest. You could also be listening to it on Thanksgiving. Okay, stop talking about when people could be listening to it. Anytime. It could be two years from right now.

Yes. And still Halloween. Because Halloween, that would be true. And we have as a guest, Nick Lutzko. Oh, my God. I just panicked saying the name. It is crazy. I think you did it.

I think you nailed it. I think you nailed it. I panicked halfway through. What's up, Nick? Thanks for having me. Well, we have a little housekeeping news to cover before we get into Halloween, guys. Okay. And that housekeeping news is this. I'm going to show it on the screen.

My Kevin Smith challenge coin came in the mail yesterday. So for everybody who thought that was a bad investment, guess what? I have a challenge coin now. So that's big news. And what does that? And okay. So this was, I think we talked about this a lot on the, uh, on guys plus and stuff. So you, how much did you pay?

You're on what tier for $15 a month tier on kevin smith's patreon so nick just kevin smith has kevin smith multi-billion uh multi-millionaire uh kevin smith has a patreon by the way so we're he didn't have enough money what's crazy is i'm pretty sure they give those out for free to Alcoholics Anonymous meetings. Oh, it's not thick and made out of metal. And it doesn't have Kevin Smith on it. He's always talking. That one doesn't have Kevin Smith either.

Neither of those. I mentioned this on Twitter. This is a long, you know, I mentioned this on Twitter when you posted it. They don't look like Kevin Smith. One of them looks like one of the guys from Impractical Jokers. And then the other, I know the other side. And then that one,

that one, I don't even really know the other side, what it looks like, but it's not Kevin Smith. It's the other side more time. Yeah. That's supposed to be Kevin Smith. That looks like Halloween right there.

I mean, that looks like Julius Caesar, like back from the dead or something. Yeah, it does. It looks like julius caesar like back from the dead or something yeah it does yeah it does look like somebody who is like a zombie or some type of a ghoul or something i think i've spent 60 so far to get this it's a 60 coin now chris never lets me buy coins yeah well listen are you gonna do podcast money well yeah yeah i mean for all listen it doesn't work

that way exactly we don't i i get the same amount of money no matter what it's he's doing it with his own money but i just try to dissuade him sometimes from you know signing up for a lifetime membership to the chive at 250 you know because he does have a family and everything so if you're giving if you're gonna be like um spending money uh care carelessly you should sign up for my patreon yeah yeah and then if you're doing that that's cool people i mean people are really proud to give me money to buy uh challenge coin i will say i've never sent a coin to anybody so i mean if you've only you know i've had i've had people spend 60 dollars and uh i do send i send cards handwritten uh how i i don't know not to jump the gun here but um you know i was uh self-appointed president of

halloween that's right and uh i one of the first moves my administration is i announced there were seven halloweens a year uh every month that has a 31st is now a halloween so there's halloween one through seven and halloween seven which is actually december 31st i send out a handwritten halloween seven card that's the one that's the one thing i'll send you in the mail if you that's kind of cool that's i i've never sent anything like that out on my Patreon. I would say the one difference, though, is like Kevin Smith might be sending out a coin. But one thing that we do on our Patreon, I think all three of us, that he does not do, is we put out content. That's true.

Yeah, right, right. So we put out stuff. We do shows. Yeah, we do shows and stuff that people can uh you know listen to and watch i'm also sure he's not like hand delivering those coins either i don't think he probably oh no it's obviously jay jay obviously delivers them you know yeah just yeah he does there's a chive coin um it's 50 it's 20 dollars it's 50 anniversary chive coin So I'm going to look into that So we are doing Halloween guys

Spooky Yeah spooky Halloween And listen I feel like Halloween has had a bit of a resurgence I've always Kind of liked it but never been Super into it Brian I think we know Nick he just said he's a

fucking president of the thing so we know how brian what's your you know relationship with halloween i don't like holidays at all i hate them all i dislike every single holiday that there is i really hate halloween halloween's a top hate hall oh wow oh wow maybe we should do a debate yeah that would be cool i could be like the moderator of the debate that would be a fun kind of little thing to do but brian what what um why do you hate it what you know what i think about myself and and i know this is probably a bad personality trait but i i like i really hate to see people having fun it drives me fucking crazy yeah that's not that's you should like that oh no no they get all smiley and stuff and i don't have fun

so no i just don't like them i you know what i think holidays are are their days off right so like people can take some time off and do their thing and they really enjoy it and i really admire that but i work like two or three hours a day so i don't i don't really need days off and when and when a holiday comes around then it's not like a day off i gotta go to like a party or you could be like a month but this is listen i would say to you you you don't want to be having fun having it you could dress up as some very serious type of monster yeah and then you don't you don't smile or anything you're just like and then everyone's like really giving it up to you because they're like holy shit this guy's like totally in character and they actually respect that on halloween the like the more you go for it kind of i just don't like costumes i guess that'll

be where we we land on halloween is i haven't dressed up in a costume since i was a teenager well let's be on i mean not sometimes that your little parties with your the other couples and everything we don't do those that's not i'm not a swinger so i don't and if i was a swinger i mean you have to be naked to do that but not at the end by the way you do about swingers a little later on in this episode. But I want to start. What? Yeah.

Oh, yeah. We got some swinger content, baby. I want to start with a thing that I have. There's two debates around Halloween. And I'd like to see where you guys land on this. And I couldn't find. Well, I found a few things. But first of all, there seems to be a war in the halloween community that nick could probably really help us with uh it is pro inflatable and anti-inflatable have you heard of

this war that's that's currently happening in your community i know i'm not aware of the war but i can tell you where i stand almost where do you stand i'm anti-inflatable. Yeah. Well, here, I'll read you this. I do have a thing here from our Halloween real quick. So he goes, what do you think of inflatable decorations? Personally, those are the main decorations I use. Why? The main reason really is the animatronics you see at Spirit Halloween are well outside my price range, which, by the way, they're very expensive. They're so expensive, I won't consider buying them as a bit so also such things aren't sold in my tiny hometown anyway it's

either inflatables or small decorations like wreaths and stuff you hang off of trees i've noticed online that some halloween fans hate the things because they do not look like creepy like animatronics do as for me honestly yeah they aren't too scary but they're still nice as long as they're dark they're fine by me besides they're normally quite big which in and of itself is rather impressive oh i thought they were going to say scary because largeness can be scary when if you just see something that's so big and it could crush you that's kind of scary but yeah i never even can say i wasn't thinking about that but that's the truth you can't the inflatables are not scary and halloween's all about being scary

and i like realism and things that you know could actually hey that could be an actual you know yeah exactly right so yeah i'd be anti-inflatable as well i think that's like that's christmas shit well here well that's the other that's the natural enemy of the halloween guy is the christmas guy yes uh honestly the motion of most of those things have always bothered me it makes them look cheap in all honesty i mean you see homemade stuff on here that honestly looks better than most store-bought animatronics to me yeah inflatables are technically just glorified bounce houses which they are not that because you can't bounce in an inflatable yeah they're not glory yeah what do you mean is i don't think that's true they're they're glorified wiggly guys that they used to that they put outside of uh like car dealerships they're made

of the same stuff as a bouncy house kind of but even that i think that's like a harder thing the bouncy house one you know what i mean it's like a different sort of material kind of these animatronics by the way i i'm gonna get up a few so we can look at some spirit halloween animatronics because uh they are very expensive i've been to spirit halloween because to Spirit Halloween because Spirit Halloween is so huge. It even found its way up north of the border up into my home country of Canada. Oh, wow. I've been in there.

I've seen all of the stuff. Everything's, oh, it jumps out at you and everything like that. And it's very impressive. I bought stuff from Spirit Halloween. I bought an Elvis costume. I bought stuff from Spirit Halloween. I bought an Elvis costume. You're looking at Spirit Halloween. I'm looking at Spirit Halloween now. And they got a 6'4 Mr. Punchy animatronic, which is $279.99.

We're really looking at any one that's worth having being over $150, I would say. The cheap ones, the 6'1 Desmo. foot desmo oh wait no that's a six foot one i'm a 21 inch led black jumping spider animatronic it's 49.99 it's 21 inches it's like it's small but it is jumping around that could scare somebody but then even 21 inches seems too but you'd want that to be smaller it's true it's a spider it's a spider so now it's just big enough where it's clearly fake so i think you want that one to actually be smaller maybe a bunch of them you know a bunch of little ones that are all jumping around would be kind of that would be kind of creepy so i brought you guys up on the

page you got the 3.9 foot the cauldron s animatronic which is really nice it looks can you click on it so we can see it because it's not i'm familiar with all these guys are you my daughter is obsessed i have a two-year-old daughter she's obsessed with spirit halloween she calls it the spooky store as a you know a self-employed dad we spend a lot of time just out and about on the town uh we have our various spots playgrounds aquarium the zoo but i took her to spirit halloween i had to pick something up for one of my videos or something and she is she literally asked to go every single day and we don't go every single day we've probably been a dozen times in the past three weeks how long does it stay up for um they

usually open at the end of august and then they close at the end of or beginning of november so that's that's a couple of months that's kind of nice and it is kind of it's cool for like you know hey we we can only go this couple of months so it gets exciting and then she gets excited maybe next year who knows maybe she's forgotten about it all together yeah who knows that's what i don't know what she's gonna do i don't know what she's going to do. I don't know if she's going to be able to wrap her mind around why it's gone or what. Why it's gone. I will say Brian has the Leatherface animatronic pulled up there. That's the first one you see when you walk in the store.

And he's, of course, waving around a loud chainsaw. And my wife is not happy with me because this morning I was dropping off my daughter at my parents' house and someone was blowing leaves with a gas powered leaf blower next door. And Sage was like, hi, Leatherface. It's Leatherface. She knows his name and she just thinks he's like Mickey Mouse. It's like she hears it out of a chainsaw in the distance. She gets excited that Leatherface is coming. See, my daughter was very opposite that,

and that might have something to do with my Halloween. Because I didn't, it wasn't as fun for us as, my daughter, when she's three, she went four, maybe. Four, maybe five. And she was like, I was like, what do you want to be for Halloween? She's probably been watching her TV shows and stuff like that, whatever she was like i was like what do you want to be for halloween and she's probably been watching her tv shows and stuff like that whatever she was up to at five kids are kids are always watching their tv shows they do and then they but they get these high expectations and stuff once they get to

be about five years old they get these huge expectations for like what what is possible and what can be done especially at that time i was very broke and she was like i want to be here's what i want to be and i was like okay well anything you want she goes i want to be a zombie princess so we were like okay she already show was she watching where they had zombie princess i think it was disney princesses was something she was really into and then she saw a zombie together right yeah yeah she saw a zombie on tv she thought that would be really cool and i was like oh it's neat you finally want to be something scary because like for for the first part for probably you know the first four years she didn't

want to be anything scary she she had nothing to do with anything scary she just wanted to be like something pretty you know usually a princess to tell you the truth she's either a princess or hannah montana for the first 10 years of her life but she uh we got the makeup on her and we showed her herself in the mirror and she started crying and freaked out and asked us to take it off of her because it scared her and it was just like man you're no fun you're ruining the fun of halloween kids getting scared isn't it yeah i oh and i don't have a daughter i just you guys have mentioned stories about your daughter it was my turn in the story and so i thought i would just mention i don't have one but yeah my nephew he he like was he's like three and he just sort of like, like a year ago or whatever,

the concept of getting scared, he like sort of learned about it, you know, and seeing like a little kid learning about that. Like he loved it. Like he was excited by it. He wanted to get scared and he would start laughing, you know?

And like, yeah, I just love the idea of watching him like understand what it is to be scared. Yeah, I do. I think my daughter is in this weird like she's almost two and a half and i think she's in this weird place where like she doesn't really understand

why or how something is scary and i think that's why she's so into it like i don't know if she'll be the play next year when she actually like gets a little bit more of the concept that a zombie is a decomposing thing yeah they start to change their minds about study yeah that part of their life they're just constantly changing their mind about everything she has nicknames for all of them though and there's this one that there's a woman that literally snaps her own neck and her bones protrude and she starts screaming and she calls that one the yucky one i think probably let's not look at this one that one's yucky is that six foot lord uh no it wouldn't have been hold on i'm finding a woman roaming antique doll

animatronic not her uh six foot regan there she is on the right uh the widow and the widow animatronic 200 bucks for that that's the yucky one man so a normal person probably isn't spending $200 on Halloween decorations. Yeah, I guess only a rich person or somebody who is working class and really into Halloween. Oh, yeah, that's a Halloween guy, right? So then you look at the Halloween inflatables. I'll bring up a couple of those. We have the inflatable ghostbusters terror dog decoration and that is also 299 dollars i believe uh here we go yeah it is uh yeah that looks like from god's

oh that's from ghostbusters yeah that's from ghostbusters yeah yeah even that it's like you can see they're trying to make it scarier because they have like smoke around it, you know? You can already tell they're trying to manufacture spookiness there. I'm not buying it. Now, let me help you guys. Let me teach you guys a little new thing here. This one that we're looking at,

the 10-foot Beetlejuice inflatable animated sandworm decoration, is popular even with people who don't like inflatables this is the one that like i get it at least because that the the design was kind of cartoony and like it it kind of fits you know what i mean it doesn't look like a cheap inflatable variation of the original. That looks pretty close to what the thing looks like in the movie. It's $349.99. And when you read people who vehemently hate these inflatables, they're like, except for the 10-foot Beetlejuice inflatable animated sandworm, that one I like and I would consider putting in my yard.

I actually ended up with three Beetlejuice Spirit Halloween animatronics two years ago. How did you end up with those? Well, I did one of my songs I did for Spirit Halloween. I said, I need the Beetlejuice animatronic, and they accidentally sent me three of them somehow. As you pointed out, they're not cheap. No, no. These animatronics, it looks like someone just put a cheap Halloween costume on some wireframe and have some cheap motor to make the head move back and forth.

Yeah. Inflatables look like cartoons, but I think they look better overall. That's not true. I'm going to disagree. Oh, come on. Yeah. Come on. Come on.

You're lying to yourself. Like, I don't know. I guess it's less expensive to get the inflatables overall. Would it be like, I don't know. I think you to get the inflatables overall, would it be? I don't know, I think you can get cheaper inflatables You can get that big worm from Beetlejuice

for $3.50 or you can get Leatherface It's great, but it's small so like, yeah It's human size but my point being compared to the worm, you can get a big inflatable. It costs the same amount. It takes up more space, you know, so you can spend less money using inflatables, but you can deflate it and put it somewhere more.

Oh, that's very, it's great for storage. So somebody that has to store those animatronics. Yeah. And a lot of people are very into, I read one person who was like, look, I have one inflatable pumpkin that I put on my roof and this was interesting to me.

This was definitely a Halloween guy thing to do. They go, I have one inflatable one I put on my roof that you can see from the highway a couple blocks over and then people come to my house and look at the rest of my stuff that's not inflatable. That put on my roof that you can see from the highway a couple blocks over and then people come to my house and look at the rest of my stuff that's not inflatable that's kind of cool so it's sort of like lets everybody know hey i'm i'm serious i'm really about that halloween shit

and you're sort of using it as sort of a bad signal yes yes loaf modenar replies to this and goes i don't hate him i think it mostly depends on the style you're going for for example mixing inflatables and the fancy animatronics make things look a little haphazard i have some inflatable eyes that i like because they're thematic for my house but i set them up separately from what i would call my quote serious decoration. Oh, I see. They're in. What is it? Wait, what do you mean?

Aren't they saying they're like in a different part of your house? It's just for you. What does that mean? No, these. This is. That's the funny part of the house. Not the serious part of it. There's a serious part of the yard and there's a funny part of the yard, Chris.

And you know it. Okay. This guy. This guy named G, I believe. I just thought that it's kind of cool that person who has the big um uh pumpkin on their someone who's flying by on an airplane commercial airliner could see it and then they might be like where the boat is that then come by, drive by later and see kind of the cool animatronic. It's very funny. So this is a post from 2011 from a Halloween board that the subject line is inflatables are taking over my neighborhood.

Oh, and this would be when it was happening. Right. Like this inflatables were not in 2005 i never saw an inflatable well the only time you'd see him is at the damn macy's day parade you know it used to be strictly for parade people people like that now and then when it became yeah for regular consumers i guess it was probably around then when did spirit halloween become a thing they're 40 years old spirit halloween is a 40 year old company yeah right i don't remember i don't recall ever seeing old spirit halloween is a 40 year old company yeah right 40th anniversary i don't remember i don't recall ever seeing a spirit halloween pop up somewhere until maybe 2010 around i mean maybe earlier than that yeah me neither i i would agree i just saw that it's

their 40th anniversary it was like wow do you know who uh they're like a mothership uh company is that owns spirit hallow. I did read it yesterday. Now I don't know. Spencer's gifts. Yes. Yes. Cause somebody said they weren't able to use the Spencer's gift card at spirit Halloween.

Oh, they were upset about that. Yeah. My fucking family will not go to Spencer's gifts for me with me. When we go to the mall, they just think it's so lame. And I'm like, well,

you know, you go in there, you get a whoopee cushion. So my parents actually met, they both worked at Spencer's gifts. That's the most beautiful thing I've ever. They, they, you know, you go in there, you get a whoopee cushion. My parents actually met. They both worked at Spencer's Gifts. That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. They claimed they would tell that story when we were younger, and they would insist that it was nothing like it was.

It was different back then. It was very different when I was a kid, and it was very exciting to go through. They didn't put the sex toys up as high back then. You could just walk in. They didn't have sex toys. I remember I went there could just they didn't have sex toys they had like like i remember i went there he would he would have noticed if they had a chick i went there one time and bought this stuff called no fart spray oh went there one time i guess it wasn't a strip club because lord knows how many times do we find out you've been to the strip club just more than 20 this guy's not known as a strip club regular it wasn't known as a strip

20 hey brian hey brian how's it going hey the usual brian you know and the usual is six caramellos we're talking past tense or this is an ongoing no no no no long since i've gone to a strip it was before his daughter was even born i think which his which his daughter's 18 now, so it's a long time ago. Before and after. I wouldn't say that I stopped going because I had a daughter. Well, hey, if I were you, I would say that. Even if it's not true, I would just say it publicly that you did stop going when you had your daughter.

Well, sometimes you got to get out. So this guy goes, first of all, I appreciate all Halloween decorations. All. I do like inflatables for their ease of setup and wow factor they make a yard look great blah blah blah etc i have a lot of homes decorated in my hood they all say hood i don't know why so i'm just gonna keep reading it that way and i'm not gonna change it okay and all of them are inflatables. Again, fun to look at. Glad they're there, but it gives me anxiety. It takes at least two days for me to set up and I refuse to set up

until at least the second week in October. All my Halloween goodness is unable to be unleashed. I live, I have a house in my hood that has an inflatable arch incorporated with props and it looks very nice. I feel like I'm missing out on weeks of halloween fun i put some lighted vine glitter pumpkins and a stack of its lit jack jack-o'-lanterns on the porch and a grinning skelly sign that says spooky my son saw it and asked me why i was going to the light side i said i don't know i need something to decorate until i can decorate guess i'm just venting here so this guy mad at inflatables because they're getting put out too early well what's the what about the jacko former the jack o former no because you said the jack o ladder all right that's known as a flub nick and i hate to keep referencing things and some people hate this but i just like to fill our guests in sometimes that's

known as a flub and brian made a ridiculous one two weeks ago oh yeah where you didn't put the theme music on the episode that was a mistake i'm not gonna do that this time can you imagine that so so what happened was this is the best part is that what happened was ever you know the theme music usually comes in this like heavy metal theme music so there's no theme music and brian just comes in and says like welcome to god and then so everyone was like holy shit like is he like gonna make some really serious announcement you know like everyone was like what the fuck is this all about and it was how you were dying yeah just a normal episode though where the guy forgot to you know just put the only thing on that to put on there i can assure you i will never give it a serious announcement on this show um no i can't imagine

uh so you'd rather just walk away yeah i'd rather just you know i'm done yeah uh pumpkin eater replies and says i don't like inflatables if that that was the only thing I had, I wouldn't put it out. Put a little effort into it, people. You know what? Speaking of effort, I have a fan that turned their yard into Pirates of the Caribbean. That is so. And it's, I mean, I'm watching the video they posted on Instagram, and I feel like I'm just watching someone walk around Pirates of the Caribbean. They have the, you know how, surely you guys have been to Disney World, Disneyland.

I don't know if you're familiar, but you pass the buildings and you see that there's like, they have it to where the windows look like the inside of the buildings on fire. They have all the windows like that where there's like flames and they have the skeleton with the pirate.

That's the themed. I was just going to say, I'm a big fan of that. You know what I mean? Not just the random stuff. Doing a themed one that has a specific scene or whatever, like that to me is extremely cool. And you can display a lot of artistic merit through that.

You can really do some impressive stuff. I think some people, though, they just throw up a bunch of wild shit. Yeah, that's what I'm looking at. The stuff I was seeing was just people like, yeah, put five inflatables and then maybe a leather face or something like that. None of it makes sense. These guys on this halloween board are all like going crazy like nightlights 13 says for my two cents i don't really care for the inflatables either we have one only because it was a gift that i feel obligated

to use it that's a weird gift to give someone a halloween inflatable it kind of makes sense though if it's a halloween guy yeah i guess their friends all know that they're a halloween guy but they probably i guess they didn't do quite enough research to see that uh inflatables aren't necessarily the beloved fucking decorations amongst the community no and that's exactly it like they just don't like them so the other big war that i see is there's a big problem out here in this world and i'm just going to start this braxis teal on halloween on our halloween says this i'm looking forward to the costume party coming up this weekend however it got me thinking about how every other holiday is shoved into our faces early except halloween which by the way

that's not true you just said spirit halloween opens in august it is shoved in your face a little bit i mean you go to the store and it's you know all the halloween candy and stuff starts popping up definitely early october it's barely around for the month of october yet that's not sure that's a lie i know i agree it's why is that guy lying to us the people he's talking to live out in the world as well why is he trying to lie it's confirmation bias i think i think it's because when you go to the store like i they do have christmas stuff out at the stores in my neighborhood, of course. But, like, it doesn't mean that, like, Halloween is really all-encompassing. It's like a month-long holiday, really, compared to other, like, Christmas, I guess, is kind of the same. But Halloween is,

like, every weekend people are jockeying to have the halloween party yeah there's not really another i mean christmas and halloween are the two i mean christmas obviously you know you get a whole week off work you don't get off work for halloween but they're both what other holidays do you celebrate more than just the day exactly exactly you know it's um you know it's something that everybody loves as well about halloween that i think we haven't even talked about at all and i hope we get to a little bit more that's the candy well okay it's well uh i will say this i was reading a post yesterday well let's finish this and i'll tell you about the thing i was reading that drove me insane okay um he goes uh it's the fault of the public this happens every year when halloween

happened for fuck's sake we barely get a month of spooky and it's littered with christmas crap can we just let halloween and thanksgiving come before you shove slash inundate that make people go broke holiday crap towards us please there are a ton of people who push for christmas to take over the latter half of the year which by the way there's nobody doing there is not a single person who's like christmas should start in september yeah i've never heard of somebody doing half the year we're talking july yeah i've never heard anyone i guess maybe like um maybe some people in like australia could be pushing for july just to try to get it out of the summer time or whatever well here's somebody this person does have a good strategy

here he goes one of these days i'm gonna start carrying a halloween mask and a trick-or-treat bucket so when people start putting up christmas lights before turkey day i can ring their doorbell and say trick-or-treat when they tell me it's not halloween i could tell them it's not christmas lights before turkey day i can ring their doorbell and say trick or treat when they tell me it's not halloween i can tell them it's not christmas either they're not going to say it's not halloween they're going to call the police on you you're at all you're at all even if you went on halloween they would not greet you favorably if you're a grown adult they're going to tell you to the fuck out of there you get off their property some of them might answer it doesn't i don't know where you live some might

answer the door with the damn gun and it's true if you're in texas there's a good chance they'll be like what's going on here why are you wearing a mask yeah why are you wearing a mask at my door some people might not answer the door at all they might just shoot straight through it is the unfortunate part i mean i would not advise it. I would never advise going knocking on people's door in a mask. No. I did make a proclamation earlier this year that fall, starting this year, summer ended on September 1st when Jimmy Buffett died and fall began.

So I think starting fall uh three weeks earlier yeah from here on out only makes sense with the passing of jimmy buffett in mind i feel like fall there's fall creep anyway because people love fall now it's like they're big everybody's getting so hot in the summers that people are just dying for a reprieve and even if it's still 90 degrees outside they want to to just kind of force their will upon nature and just declare its fall. I think Jimmy Buffett dying had a... Jimmy Buffett's death can't be... A lot of people, I don't hear them even mentioning it in the conversation.

Really? I think that's wrong. people i don't hear them even mentioning it in the conversation and really i think that's wrong because i think that when you consider margaritaville and some of the you know hits that he had it's got to be connected in some way well let's let's check in with uh cool treat ideas that won't break the bank oh here we go looking for things you've handed out that seem popular things that you or your kids have received that were cool but not too expensive i've tried little bags of pretzels in the past which were not a hit many rice crispy treats seem to do pretty good last year

any unusual treats or little toys that kid would actually like i got about 200 kids last year now okay i want to answer this right now it's candy candy. It's fucking candy, you dolt. The regular kinds of candy, they're known. The popular ones are fucking well known. Don't try to go outside of the box on this one. That's your big mistake, and that's the initial mistake, and you'll never recover from it. You just have to go within the box.

Well, here's a counterpoint, but it's not it's i know it's not what you're talking about but the the first time i took my kid trick-or-treating there was a house that had shots for the parents and i was i was very into that and i think that maybe that could be adopted by all that's kind of uh that's fun that's kind of fun that's cool and it does not hinder the children's ability to eat candy because presumably they had candy for the kids still they didn't have candy for the kids yeah you gotta have candy for the kids you know and it and as far as it's up to the parents after that well how much candy they want to let their kids have and blah blah blah or whatever but you as a house man how much did you hate the fucking houses that

didn't have candy there's one house chris in my old neighborhood yeah that does hot dogs and like capri sun that's just novel no it's fine no i would i would egg the shit out of that house i don't care i don't want a hot dog. I want fucking candy. I can get a hot dog any fucking time I want. Candy like this in a big sack only happens once a year. And if you don't give me candy, I'm coming back with two dozen eggs. Did the Easter Bunny not bring you candy?

The Easter Bunny brought me candy. Yeah. Yeah. Easter Bunny always brought me some eggs He knew it was good for him Here's a bad idea here, I'm saying Dollar Tree had little boxes of stickers last year Oh, what?

Oh, yeah If you gave me stickers, I'd get All my friends would go back and get all of those stickers And we'd gather them all up And then we'd stick them on your damn windshield And then cover your whole fucking windshield of your car With your stupid little stickers And then we'd write and we'd write candy next year motherfucker on the side stickers is such a useless give to people man dude greasy cups come on yeah

somebody pops in and and really helps out here. My kid never liked these when they got them trick-or-treating because Halloween was over the next day and they wouldn't use Halloween-themed stickers or tattoos after Halloween. You're damn right, Dobby is my hero. Oh, yeah. What's the worst candy? What's the candy equivalent of stickers?

Well, there's mung. We used to call it mung. I don't think that's the real equivalent of stickers? Well, there's mung. We used to call it mung. I don't think that's the real name for it. It's like molasses candy. Mung is something else atrocious. I know it is. I know it is. But when we were young in Canada, we used to call this candy mung.

And it's like orange and white with the little like it would have the little witches and stuff on it. I don't know that candy. I think that's Canadian. Oh, really? Oh, OK. It was it was like a brown molasses kind of candy. And there's a name for it. Some people are going to know what I'm referring to.

Some people are going to be horrified because they don't. They only know the other definition. But, yeah, that was known as like the bad candy. And then raisins, little box of red raisins get out of here with those it's not even candy that was something that you would get in in uh yeah when you're trick-or-treating a healthy fucking house some house that's like we don't do candy here here's raisins we in in columbus at least there were these peanut butter candies that are like these uh they're wrapped in like orange and brown uh wax paper yeah i think that's the same thing i swear is like the one that i'm talking about yeah and they were just fucking i think i

know what you guys are talking about yeah yeah nobody was ever gonna eat that candy it's just you look it's like a depression era candy like if you were trick-or-treating in 1920 and you got that it would be the most exciting thing that ever happened to your life yes but in the 1990s it was 2000s it was not this person goes uh this person after they say that goes uh weird i've been a halloween nut as long as i can remember guess it would have been a good idea to have random ones mixed in. Um, this person goes,

uh, uh, I guess they always have had plenty of Halloween tattoos and stickers, et cetera, because we would buy them and use them leading up to Halloween, which makes fucking sense. Giving somebody a Halloween temporary tattoo. It's useless.

You got to wait another 365 days to use the tattoo. It doesn't make sense to have. Yeah, that's totally that's that's wild to be. That's like terrible foresight. It's why we should have seven Halloweens, frankly. Well, yeah, your world, Nick, it makes sense in your world. The world that Nick lives in and the people who follow Nick and his music live in. This does make sense because you

can use it what when's the next halloween december 31st it's also okay of course so so that's you only have to wait you know a couple of months and we don't have to get on this but my my version of halloween actually uh i got rid of candy altogether oh no you're making a mistake i'm going because it's because i don't know i think uh first of all one of the proclamations was uh You're making a mistake. I'm going to say First of all, one of the proclamations was this happened in 2021 and there's just an insurrection. A lot of other horrible things

were happening and I didn't think it was safe for kids to be going out and going to strangers' homes. No kids allowed for Halloween. Me and Chris actually were at the insurrection. Well, we were there, but we were just hanging out eating candy. We weren't doing any of the bad stuff. Listen, Nick, I understand your stance.

I respect it. I find it abhorrent. Well, I got to make this one other point. We replaced the candy with high-end foods like pasta oysters filet mignon okay uh i don't what that's gonna work what do you mean um first of all kids don't like filet mignon kids are gone the kids do like filet mignon but i'm down with kids being gone it's just getting rid of the candy i think once the kids are gone, why can't the adults go get candy? You know what I mean?

Well, let's move to haunted houses, which is a very important part of Halloween. Oh, sorry. I just, they're Kers Molasses Kisses is the name. And I think they might be Canadian because I'm finding a CBC News article. That's what they're called, Kers Molasses Kisses. I'm going to look. All right. I'm here. I'm finding a CBC news article. That's what they're called. Curse molasses kisses. I'm going to look. All right. I'm here. I'm on it.

So anyway, did you guys do the Halloween? Yep. That's what peanut butter kisses. That's exactly it. Did you guys do the haunted houses when you were growing up at all? Or do you do them now? Even Nick? I don't.

Nick, do you still? I haven't done one this year, but I went to... For like a decade, I went to Halloween Horror Nights. What is that? It's Universal Studios. They have like 10 haunted houses, and it's all

based on... A lot of them are based on popular IP. They have the Halloween franchise haunted house. like popular ip like to have the halloween franchise haunted house and the and uh i would love i would love that so much i mean i love universal studios so much whenever i go to los angeles which is a lot i go there a lot um a lot more than but but it is yeah i just love that shit so much that would be we have a thing called playland here, the PNE in Vancouver, and they do like a fright night, which is a much worse. You go there on the rides and stuff, but they have like people jumping out and scaring and stuff like that.

And they have all that kind of shit. That's the closest we have. Here's a question that was asked in the subreddit for haunted houses. And it goes, are tasers allowed in haunted house. Okay. Are you guys familiar with this? McKamey Maynard guy? Yeah.

Yeah. People showed me, it seems like he's a very bad guy. He's a real sick bastard. It seems. Yeah. I don't, and it's not like a,

it's like, it's like he'll give you a $10,000 or something. Maybe even more. I don't remember what it is, but if you survive as haunted house and it's literally not a haunted house. It's like he just like – They beat the shit out of you. They fucking hit you and punch you and beat the shit out of you.

Hypothermia and like apparently some Marine almost made it. And then he like – he told him like you got to stop. You're going to die from hypothermia. And I don't know i have a lot of other people know a lot more about that than i do but he was in tennessee at some point i think he keeps getting chased out and has to keep relocating um this person goes we went to a haunted house last night and there was a room where they used a taser on people is that legal we're in oklahoma this person replied several replies of people saying where's it at i would love to go to that

there's an audience nowadays audience for everything but yeah that's i mean so this guy's like trying to be like like the saw guy or something like he like yeah what's that guy's name who you were talking about mr uh mccain mccame Maynard is the name of the house, but his name is... Is it Russ something? Oh, okay. That's the name of the house. I was going to talk about him,

but he's not funny. He's really evil. It's not funny. He's going to kill somebody one of these days. It seems like he's trying to do that in a way. Yeah, and i was reading like this interview with these guys and i thought it was like kind of kayfabe to them that they were like i beat the shit out of them and then you start reading people's experiences like

no they beat the shit out of you they hit you and punch you and beat the shit out of you so uh here's joe p uh he's a scare he has a dilemma he owns a haunted house and we're all here to fix dilemmas right uh we have been open for two years and i've been arguing with myself about the compensation for the actors pay cash or take care of them other ways yeah well i would say personally as somebody who's been sort of employed at somewhere and also at the same time had to deal with the bills and the basic expense of life, I would say go with the money is what most people are going to enjoy. Then they can sort of decide themselves what kind of things they want to get. Well, he goes, we're restricted by our zoning, so we only get 14 days a year parentheses love the government uh currently the actors get a free t-shirt that is actor exclusive six combo passes

i will say the free t-shirts better than a free shot glass like at least they're getting yeah yeah yeah well he's probably gone to shot glasses at this point. I like the free passes to the place that you work at. Yeah, that should be a thing already. That's kind of at most places you would just got to expect that to be built. How would you get scared? How did you get scared at the place you work and know everything about? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly.

That's true as well. everything about yeah yeah yeah yeah exactly that's true as well we got a t-shirt that's active actor exclusive six combo passes which is 150 value he said yeah yeah okay we supply all the drinks they can drink and feed them every night we supply all their cough drops which i don't like i don't like the idea of cough drops contact lenses and all the sugar they can stand we supply all the cough drops yeah that's why they don't draw any attention to why that's necessary yeah why is that a is that a serious part of it what is that meant as a joke of some kind doesn't seem like it's meant as a joke it seems like cough drops is a part of the thing because Because they can't cough, maybe?

Maybe they need to scream so much they're losing their voices or something. That's a good point. Yeah, that could be it. I was thinking they had to be quiet so they couldn't cough, but that would be, you know. We are open four hours a night. My dilemma is about two-thirds of the crew refuse cash. They want to leave it as is because they understand that if it goes to quote pay unquote, it's an official job. And most of the other perks disappeared.

Now I'm going to say this, the six combo passes shouldn't disappear because they're a hundred percent free for the guy that's for doing it. Right. He goes, uh, he goes currently the perks average around 300 in compensation per actor i don't think that's true i that's not why would you do it then you're telling me you're doing it you're doing it out of the kindness of your own heart because you don't believe they can make their the right choices on these things like what look of course you're doing it because it costs less money for you why are you lying to the people this is truly like everybody knows that on my old show i talked about small business owners all the time reading this was one of the worst cases of this that i've

ever seen i've never seen somebody say like you know should we actually be quote paying people like there are quote labor laws that state that you actually have to like there's no sort of there's no you know wiggle room on that by the haunted houses is the question yeah yeah yeah step into show business nick and and like uh that's like an exposure thing really if you think about it yeah you're getting a lot of exposure think what all the people hey you could scare a big hollywood executive my so he goes uh my question is even if you pay them minimum wage, which is just under $8 an hour in Florida, you're looking at no more than $40 a night.

Is that enough to get them to commit for 14 days a year? I would argue that that's enough to get them committed four days a year. More than nothing. Like $40 is more than nothing like 40 dollars is yeah that's saying you can have free passes and all and you can come eat out of our food trough you know what do you think oh it's a all kind of mixed parts and everything yeah i mean come on this is this guy is this is a ridiculous thing and by the way when is this post from this is 2015 okay i was gonna say i hope that's is that still that's still not the minimum wage in florida is no it can't i

think it is actually but uh even the ones that are complaining about quote no pay that would quote why what do you mean quote you're not you're not paying them now now they would probably bitch that the minimum wage ain't enough your thoughts well they're probably right about that as well that's what i would say even in 2015 paying somebody eight dollars an hour seems very low so i think they'd be right to bitch in that instance as well. I don't know. This guy, man. I can't believe these people are composed of. Oh, it's up. Yeah, I got this.

He doesn't mention who he is. Like, you can't. Oh, yeah, he does. He's Joe from the shallow grave, Winter Haven, Florida. So can you look up the shallow grave, Winter Haven, Florida? See if it's still running. I'll finish reading the thing. So can you look up the shallow grave winter haven in Florida? See if it's still running. I'll finish reading the thing.

He goes, even with the compensation offered currently, there has been grumbling about it being for free. Being the one paying for said free stuff, I know it's not, but I understand their point of view. I'm torn. We have a family atmosphere now, and I'm worried that the, quote, job environment might hurt the overall show. Because let's face it, paid employees are going to have a shorter leash than volunteers. And that is the shallow grave in Winter Haven, Florida. He does not want to pay his workers.

It looks like this is still running. Okay. Oh, the last one was on september 2021 still looking for a new home and then that's the last post so maybe it didn't keep going please don't please i hope it's not that is the that's one of the i've never seen somebody just and it happened a few other times when i was reading uh haunted house owners like a lot of them have this dilemma Where they're like should I pay And there's to be clear they're charging For it right like it's Like I had a buddy whose dad would do a haunted house

In his garage Every year and he wouldn't charge anybody For it and it just made sense for the neighborhood kids To help out and they loved it But listen different that's a community Just doing a thing together Yeah that's Kind of a fun thing. And nobody's making any money.

No profits being made. But yeah, this is a business. This place that we're talking about, this had like 37,000 likes on Facebook. And it was like a big business that had a lot of people coming to it every year. Yeah, and these places are expensive to get into too. I'm gonna read a few reviews of one of a couple but these places are super expensive to get into like a lot of times people are paying like a hundred fucking bucks for them

and like two kids or whatever or one kid i i don't know uh i do have cougar creek's house of horrors it's a haunted house in surrey british columbia whoa hello surrey represent that's it that's in my area nick that's the in the greater vancouver area surrey's a suburb of vancouver very large city in itself i also found it i also found a chattanooga one uh the ohio one is i'm gonna tell you a story that happened to my niece. I guess I'll start with Ohio. Okay. Because I don't have any reviews for it.

So in 2018, we're all hanging out at my house. And my niece goes to a haunted house. It's called the Haunted Hoochie. It's in Pataskala, Ohio. The Haunted Hoochie? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I've been to it in the past. It doesn't sound scary to me. It sounds like silly. The haunted hoochie? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I've been to it in the past.

It doesn't sound scary to me. It sounds like silly. Yeah, yeah. Dirty a little bit even. And a little because coochie. Yeah, coochie. It is the best one in this area. You know what I mean? It's the top one.

It's like, is that at someone's house? Or is that what type of a city? Oh, no, no, no. It's in a big field and gotcha. The rural part, not even the suburbs. It's like a more rural part of town. Gotcha. And I

have a news article about it that I'm going to bring up here as soon as I fucking find it. But so what happened was in 2018 there was they caught they found a little bit of controversy by doing what's called swastika night oh man and uh sorry a haunted hoochie um like my niece was there and it kind of freaked her out a little bit you know she was like she she was standing at this

place and there were uh so here we go uh a Halloween venue in Ohio that hosted a swastika Saturday, the day a gunman opened fire at a Jewish synagogue in Pittsburgh, has apologized. Alex Schiff and Ashley Schifflett are both performers at the Haunted Hootie, which builds. Oh, hang on. How are you going to have someone named Schiff and someone named Schifflett? And we're just going to move right past that.

It's like a little version of the other one you got a little ship and shiflet that's yes a bill as itself as being one of the world's most extreme haunted houses on his website it's just extremity in its purest form and potashless as employee alex shift extremity extremity yeah which I don't think is how you would say. I think they mean like extreme. I don't think extremity isn't a word, but I think that's what they're trying to say. Yeah, we kind of see the Haunted Hoochie as one of the last bastions of true free speech.

Oh, wow. Okay, didn't realize it was a touring stand-up comedian because that's actually the last bastion of free speech what happens on swastika night yeah yeah let's let's get a rundown of what it is like are they there are it's they're against the swastikas right yep i mean i mean truthfully uh everything to do with the nazi party is very horrific i mean there's some pretty as bad as horrific as you get. If you're really trying to lean into a real scary, horrific event. I don't know.

But, yeah, I think it's tough to – that one's a tough one, though. You know what I mean? It's really tough to navigate that as far as – It's not a good – it is – It's optics of it and everything. Yeah. You just don't want... My niece is, I think,

she was like 13 when she was there. She's not understanding all of this. Your niece went to Swastika Night? Yeah, not on purpose. You went to Swastika Night behind a luchi. Sorry, that's such a funny... your niece went to swastika just as a sentence on its own it's very funny yeah she sent me she sent us pictures and and i was like you should probably like

leave leave yeah yeah uh she goes i was like you should probably leave she was a little freaked out You know kids are raised like Totally different now and Yeah, I think maybe when we were Younger it was a little bit I think when maybe when we were A little younger it was different like because I know a lot of hardcore bands

Used um I know a lot of hardcore bands use swastikas and Nazi image imagery and stuff like that, that they weren't. But that's not doesn't go on now. Schiff admits everybody. They say that on the last Saturday of the attraction, the employees go all out in celebration of the end of the season, dressing up in crazy costumes, including some with swastikas and calling the event Swastika Saturday. Everybody lets loose. you see overweight men and mankinis running around and tutus it's basically just to make us laugh they admit that this year's

event was poor timing hang on a second so it's that make you laugh yeah it's a little goof i see so like i guess i'm getting it a little less now are they like doing the thing that like the nazis are so silly like the they're like likening them to the fat man running around in the little tiny like i don't really understand that like what's why is it funny for there to be a nazi i don't know dude i i so they did an apology but it's not a good apology and uh they're they're pretty nasty even every day so that's the ohio haunted house like i uh they are really nasty motherfuckers and uh so let's look at the surrey one that is a little less nasty motherfuckers okay surrey does have

so again surrey kind of a big city in itself so it's got you know it's got some tough areas and some nice areas well this person says uh two stars and this is my favorite thing that they do not scary waste of money so sometimes sometimes i think people are like hey it's not i wasn't scared you know what i mean like in a kid way like you have a kid that watches like a horror movie and they're like and that wasn't even that scary to me you know and they're like going on to prove it on the like on on yelp or whatever do their little review like yeah like but if you're a grown-up yeah i think it should be pretty hard to scare you and haunted house like legitimately do you know what i mean like the worst thing is when you get behind someone that's just like paralyzed in fear and like it's like

get it together it's all fake it's like yeah i remember i was at a wrestling show years ago and and uh one of the guys was just bleeding all over the place. And this woman behind me was like, uh, they got to stop this match. And I just turned around and was like, it's fake. It's all fake. They don't have to stop the match. Everything's okay. Yeah. I feel like, I guess you could get scared by like jump scare at a haunted house. You know what I mean? Like that type of thing so i guess maybe this person's um uh they're they're saying that there wasn't any jump scares a lot of people feel like jump scares are unfair though like they're not they're not they would prefer like a scary

atmosphere i know what i mean i guess there can be a little bit of a spooky Atmosphere but again If you go in there You can suspend your disbelief but You know it's a haunted house How are you going to get really scared By anything other than a jump scare I don't know As annoying as it is to see those People that are just like

Cannot keep it together I'm a little envious as well Like I wish i could experience something that fully and if you're going to haunted house like the hope is that you're going to get scared but i'd never really do the same thing i love scary movies um and i watched a lot of them but it's very rare that i'm genuinely affected by them in any legitimate way do you guys think that so when i do them i don't do any kind of like reactions to anything do you think like i'm i think i'm more annoying than somebody who's actually getting no i don't know i mean i'm

kind of that guy too i mean i think i don't know a lot of people are that it's yeah as long as you're not playing it too cool as long as you're like yeah very funny like you know yeah yeah you kind of goofing when you're walking around and stuff you know like ah yeah you thought you got me here's a problem with cougar creek's house of horrors that that this person came up with that i will agree might be bad update there were no actors across the midpoint of the tour so first of all they didn't have enough people working there so when was this when was this because there is an issue with um three years ago okay yeah no there should have been there should have been plenty of employees then nowadays there is a staffing shortage around the lower nobody wants to work anymore honestly needs more jump scares also felt

that makeup wasn't believable enough well i mentioned this, the Halloween Horror Nights where they have the 10 haunted houses, and it's awesome because it's movie quality special effects and makeup and all that stuff, but the thing that sucks about it is because it's a theme park, you're literally going through a conveyor belt. There's never

a good haunted house I feel like you can go in with your buddies or whoever, a couple people at a time, but this one, it's a constant stream of people, so it's very much luck of the draw. You could go in, and it's always the person five people in front of you that's getting scared. So it's like all the scares are happening peripherally to someone else, and it's insanely frustrating, especially after you've waited in line for what can be like hours for like a five minute experience i've read this complaint like over and over again that like they need to separate so they're trying to feed as many people through this thing as possible it's like it's just a follow the leader a line a constant line going through there's no break in it yeah and there needs to be like a maybe two minute break so something yeah

yeah everything can get yeah i guess the closest thing more recently like as an adult that i've been to was at universal studios it was uh walking dead yeah uh pets by the way sorry it's now the secret life of pets that oh walking dead very cool that's not scary at all yeah secret life of pets never scared me not even for one second yeah not even when you were little i'm sure but that's what that was like hey nick you've been to that i presume the the walking dead one no i actually went to the hollywood actually never been to hollywood ever until we played the roxy last halloween night actually exactly one year ago tonight. I've been there. I've been to Hollywood a few times. He's been twice or something. I really love it.

It's kind of like a third home along with Canada. Wait, where are you? What's your first home? I'm in Columbus, Ohio, but my main home is in Los Angeles and my other main home is in Canada. None of that's true. None of that's true. I actually

live in Canadaada and i actually go to los angeles he always says he lives on the west coast but he also lives in canada it's like you can't do that i live in vancouver it's literally right on the coast on the water that's not how it works uh so this person here's another issue with this place one of the zombies slash undead was wearing their reading glasses well i mean yeah if you say yeah maybe that's how it goes down sometimes you're wearing your glasses when you contracted the virus what do you know what do you know and also even if that's not how it goes down the motherfucker's gotta see what's going on maybe he's got some important reading he's got

to catch up on in between spooks. Well, this person says average. First of all, this is a three star, which I think is a good review. Anyway, out of five, right? Yeah. Which, by the way, Nick, me and Chris have we're on a crusade to make it so there's only three star reviews. Oh, really? Our system.

One is bad. Two is OK. Three is good. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, really? Okay. One is bad, two is okay, three is good. Americans can't handle five. Right. No, it is. And you need to get uniformity. Yeah. I was listening to the radio today, and the host asked his co-host to rank their life on a scale from one to five, and I think

she said 3.7, and he was just like, oh, I'm so... He was appalled by it and i was just like that's that's above average that's well above average that's pretty good that's pretty good gpa yeah people don't believe that because we don't have uniformity yeah that's why there's no uniformity so what your 3.7 could be my 4.5 could be brian's 2.5 it doesn't have any rhyme or reason we need to get together and and you know figure it out and come to some consensus so that these fucking things mean something when you go on yelp you know yeah and here's something we we just complained about that's why i wanted to read this

one he goes uh average not scary actors kept saying you're too slow thought the idea was to appreciate the way it's been decorated, too. So that guy's walking too slow. So this, yeah, you gotta keep it moving. I know. You gotta keep that moving. Yeah, it's not your house. You can't just go sit down

and just hang out. I like to take it in. I walk in a leisurely state and people are telling me to speed it up quite often. I don't like my crotch touching the stranger in front of me's butt like they do at Universal Studios. And Hedonism too. I think you're fundamentally misunderstanding what a Halloween haunted house is. It is a thing that people pay $40 and they push you through this thing as fast as possible and then pocket the money. I mean, I know that's not what it's supposed to be.

And in a perfect world, that's not what it would be. But that is what it is. It's not changing. So the next Vancouver one is reapers haunted attraction. That is in Chilliwack. Okay. So that's out in the, that's,

that's still the lower mainland, but yeah, it's further out farmland kind of. Okay. Okay. Well, that's a good place to do one of these things. Yeah.

Right. Like you can have a hayride and like the, the, the apple cider donuts and and hot chocolate and stuff it's like kind of a nice place to do something this person says me and my friends went to october 30th 2022 and it was horrible only saw about four actors and they all looked 14 and not scary at all very short extremely overpriced oh i thought you were still talking about the actors these guys were very short i'm gonna be scared by a fucking guy

five four give me a break like a bop him on the head you know it would be a really funny twist about this haunted house if it was just one guy that worked there and he had to run around and jump out of different spots. He's doing Roger stuff from American Dad, just like playing every character. It does feel also, like I have to say, it does feel like if you're going to a place like this, like it's weird that adults go to these things and get mad because they're not scared because these things are for kids and teenagers these things are not these things aren't even for 25 year olds they're not made for that they're made for teenagers and children i would say though i would say this i just thought of this they could they're also kind of made for very old people like because they could be really scared

like you know like someone who's right on the precipice and and then so they see a skeleton or whatever and it's like it's much more you know present in their life the idea of death and that and also they're easily scared they're just unaware of their surroundings and whatnot well i will say someone who does go to these things and again like i go to the one universal and i go to this one in atlanta called netherworld which is a big one and it's another one that has kind of like the movie quality special effects and makeup and that's what i'm there for i'm not you know i'm not i'm not measuring by how scared did i get i'm like yeah how cool theatrics yeah how immersive was it how impressive is the is the whole thing yeah yeah i'm

totally with you on that that's how yeah that's what i see a lot of like 25 year old saying like used to be scarier and it's like no fucking shit like when you were 15 it was a whole different yeah yeah brandon says actors were half in costume and walked behind us because they had to pee. Well, people have to pee, Brandon. What the fuck, man? Like, what do you expect? I know. You can't get mad because people have to pee.

Like, that's not something that you show up in a review. Hey, this is actually a really great opportunity for me to pee, I think, maybe. Just because you guys talked about how it's just a necessity. Oh, yeah. Is that cool if I do that very quickly? Yeah, of course. Elizabeth says, I could see the people in the corn maze before they jumped out at us. Superman. The haunted house worth its money, though, I doubt will go back.

So they are not coming back we got a few more things here chris uh we do have the chattanooga haunted house dread hollow so should we wait for to talk about dread hollow maybe he's been there um we got a few costume reviews uh the cheapest costumes and then we'll hurry up and get to the our swingers halloween party oh yeah we should i mean we're running a little we're running a little i mean this might be a 90 minute guy here because we we have a few things like this one is uh we haven't definitely have a few more things that we it's all good i'm going to killers of the flower moon but that's not for a few hours three hours i'm doing uh psychiatrist at five and then choppo at 5 30. i watched a uh choppo

trapo choppo trap house the the the podcast i'm i'm are you are you hosting again yes co-hosting on there that's great people had really enjoyed your last appearance hey and hey shout out to you and i uh everyone go check out uh episode one e1 e1 episode from it would be about a month ago now on on their feed go check it out brian and i playing wrestling guys on the on the e1 yep i got to be like hulk hogan the holster brian got to be like hulkster and also brian a lot of compliments i'll say because you don't do that type of stuff a lot where you're playing a character right no i didn't think i got a lot of compliments you don't go on the discord brian there's a lot of people on the discord that are saying that you fucking killed it as as you're a wrestling

character yeah you guys have a guy's podcast i mean a guy i know you have a podcast because i'm on it but you have a yeah yeah yeah that's what this is uh yeah we have a guy's discord yeah we have a guy's discord it's um it's a pretty cool place a lot of times a lot of it has been discussing brian's flubs and the different mistakes that he's made his famous ones like september fish um that's the most famous flub when he meant to say september 5th and he said september fish or my lifestyle you know how famous it is nick is that somebody on the aew which is the second rate wrestling promotion it's the wrestling i watch it's the one he watches so on their their show was it on Dynamite? It was on Collision. Collision, AEW Collision.

Somebody brought a sign on TV and held it up that said September Fish to confront Brian with his mistakes outside of the podcast, which I encourage. I very much encourage if you find out any way to remind Brian in his everyday life that he made a flop, definitely do it. I have a wrestler called Trent that follows me. You guys familiar with a fellow named Trent? Trenty Locks?

Yeah, I think that's him. Yeah, that's Trent Barretta. He is an AEW wrestler. He's part of the Best Friends. He's a good wrestler. He's one of your best friends? No, he's in a group called the Best. His faction is called the Best Friends.

I see. Okay, nice. So this is Dread Hollow. It's in chattanooga tennessee is this something you've heard of nick yeah yeah well okay you don't sound too you do not sound too enthused about it he's saying i honestly i haven't been in years but i think it used to be at ruby falls i'll let you read your your your synopsis and then that'll probably explain uh jeremy hated it he said uh one star worst haunted house i've ever

been to not a single scare and it advertised a 45 minutes experience and it took less than 15 to go through well relax then man sounds like you're rushing through it sounds like you're running jeremy sounds also like maybe you missed some of the scares because they happen after your ass had already run through the damn thing well this guy is nasty he goes we encountered less than 10 actors the whole time save your money and walk through downtown chattanooga after dark it's sure to make you more scared than this haunt okay nick can now nick you live in chattanooga yeah yeah yeah what can you can you comment on that? Is it scary? I mean, no. I'm one of these guys that will...

I don't know. I'm trying to choose my words wisely because a guy literally was killed just a couple weeks ago and it's been a really big story around here. But I've never had any experience of... I mean, people talk about you can't step foot outside in downtown Chattanooga and i just have never experienced that people say there are some people

that are you know uh homeless and like like they've i've never they've never bugged me and there's i've never had any issues um and i don't know what the circumstance was specifically where this guy got killed but um but anyways but to the to the to the dread hollow what i can speak on that place is i'm pretty sure i could be wrong but i'm pretty sure this place used to be a haunted house that took place at ruby falls which is a uh very chattanooga famous location it's like a uh an underground uh cat like waterfall in a cave so you they would have this haunted house in the caverns um like in these tunnels underground and that was kind of the big main selling point the big appeal that like you're doing a haunted house it was literally like you go in that's cool

many stories underground yeah and then i guess they no longer do it now they're doing it like in a old kmart and it's that's where they mostly end up yeah yeah yeah travis is pissed off about it the employees trying to scare you were more concerned about guests wearing their masks above their nose the location looks like it replaced a food lion would not recommend for anyone don't waste your money and now he replied to the owner who seems the owner uh replied and then deleted his reply he goes i actually did walk through the haunted houses i bought tickets in advance thinking our group would be going through the haunted houses separately from other groups that however wasn't the case when we arrived the line to get in was

incredibly long so this next line is so good because remember in the early part of this he's complaining about them making them wear masks right i would argue that dread hollow should worry more about maintaining social distancing between groups if management is truly concerned about covid19 so it's really his big somebody said can you please put your mask back on and he immediately got onto his fucking phone and started writing this review in just like pure anger nothing to do with anything else other than that which judging by the go walk around downtown chattanooga comment from the first guy, it might be a very particular

subset of people that aren't a fan of this haunted house. I didn't enjoy seeing the group in front of us, quote, get scared by the same employee that was supposed to, quote, scare us. I understand the business is trying to get as many groups into the building to make

a profit. However, employees shouldn't be hypocritical if social distancing is not maintained by management. Now, he doesn't care about social distancing for COVID, right? Yeah, he wants to go. He's being all sorry. But listen, it sounds like he does have a point about this in the same thing that you were saying, Nick. If you're going through this thing and the scares are happening that shouldn't be the case you know what i mean you shouldn't be just watching somebody else be scared up ahead of you and not getting any of those scares yourself that is a

bit of a rip-off it well yeah it's bad that it happens but it is like a signature part of the yeah and i guess they want to get you got to get all those people through so you can do that really scary thing which is dun dun pay your employees oh no you don't want to do that there's so many different ways you could uh pay your employees with cough drops you could give them an old pair of shoes you found i I mean, it's different types of compensation. Well, I had some cheap costumes. Maybe we'll do some of those on Guys Plus. Some cheap costume reviews from Amazon.

I would like to know what kind of cough drops. Because some cough drops are like candy. Re-Cola. Hopefully it's Re-Cola. Some of them are like. I love Re-Cola. They said you can have as much sugar as you want as well so i'm thinking there's a lot of candy going around in that house which would you know what i'll be honest with you know

as far as i'm concerned i had many a jobs uh people call me immature for this but i used to always ask can you pay me in candy you know i'd say i worked at like best buy and stuff but i'd be like can you pay me in candy? And it never worked out for me. So I would probably be okay with. You'd be fine with the candy and the cough drops. Because honestly, if you're telling me, if it's all you can eat candy, I can eat way more than the amount that I would get paid.

You know what I mean? Right. Me too. I could go fucking wild on that. That guy would regret offering me candy. No, seriously. I'm doing a bit. Brian is dead serious.

Brian eats. Everyone knows this who listens. But he eats. He famously wakes up in the middle of the night. And he eats six king-sized caramelos in the middle of the night and he eats six king-size caramelos in the middle of the night. Is this true? The look that Nick...

Nick was looking down and he looked up at the camera there with genuine shock at hearing that. And that's the right response. Listen, yes, it's true. And then he just drools brown poo-like drool onto his pillow. Because it i i we're gonna we're gonna when you guys get you guys see each other in real life never i've never met him in real life

how do you know about the drool or what is that he talks about it on a podcast because i thought it was funny and now sometimes he does that he thinks he thinks something's funny and cute and endearing and it turns out it's like so nasty and so fucked up and everybody's like what the hell also i think it's normal i'm a normal i i you know i've been informed by people that i know mike and jesse one time said i'm really glad you're my friend because uh i've been informed by people that i'm like not as normal as i might they might believe i am well i listen i was so i'm so concerned with the six king-sized caramellos today before we start a podcast so i'm so you do every night or this just happened once oh this doesn't just happen once no say that right now it happens all the time no we're so concerned i i actually like after we were done recording that time i went like talked to my girlfriend about it and i was like discussing like doing a podcast

with a nutritionist or whatever to try to like get that like eating habits for both of us so that brian could get to a place where he's not eating six king-size caramellos and yeah it's listen we'd laugh about it but brian we gotta get you down to two king-size caramellos. And, yeah, listen, we'd laugh about it, but, Brian, we got to get you down to two king-sized caramellos. I'm doing better. I am doing three now. Okay. Hey, everyone, give it up.

Give it up. Brian is only doing three king-sized caramellos. And I'll sometimes eat a crumb cake. So, anyway, I went to our swingers Who are our favorite people Now I need to tell you something Nick You might have something in common with them Because they call Swinger Christmas

Halloween is Swinger Christmas They call it So they also Swingers love Halloween Oh because they love dressing up they love dressing up of course yeah yeah yeah uh i did watch uh an insanely depressing tom and bunny video where they talked about spending uh halloween and thanksgiving at hedonism too yeah okay that we don't are we gonna watch we're not watching that no it's like a two-minute thing.

They're just doing like a commercial. They're our swinger friends. So anyway, on our swingers, they go, Halloween party costume ideas. Does anyone have any ideas for a Halloween swingers party costume? I'm a 26-year-old chick, and I'm trying to avoid something overdone. Essentially, it should just be lingerie, though. I couldn't think of a better place to ask. Thank you for any input.

We're going to get some suggestions on the types of costumes you wear to a swinger. Where is this? This is on our swingers. Our swingers. And that person just happens to be from Vancouver Island. Are you going to respond? Are you going to write can you are you going

to write our answers in response to this or was this a really old do you have an account some of these some of these are two days and some are four years i'm not i i don't have any suggestions is there going to be a lot of is there i have a question are a lot of people asking for photos yeah that does happen and my daughter actually found that too that she went to she went to the facebook halloween guy page to kind of check in and see what they're up to and she sent me she sent me some stuff one of them made me laugh out loud right uh he goes when did everyone start to decorate for halloween i started july 5th so that one uh uh this person says scary movies just don't do it for me anymore nothing scares me anymore

is there something out there that is actually genuinely scary i want to not be able to sleep i want it to ruin my life and uh the first reply to that is check out the Biden administration. Oh, the all time great horror films. Wow. This one says you've inherited this house and it's a haunted house. It goes, you sell it, be move in and become the town, which This person responds and says, depends on the property tax. You can always count on people on Facebook to keep it light and to help you have a little laugh.

You get that levity going on. Every time I need a good laugh, I'll go to Facebook and I'll check the memes. And the other things that she found is that they're incredibly horny, which brings us to this. Bird Baby Burn 2019 said, I was wondering about the same thing. At this point, it seems every costume for adult females are sexy versions of whatever the hell is a regular attire. You don't say. I've never heard that concept before. It's a good,

it's a good observation. You know, definitely a good observation. Well, I had a suggestion for the, for the swinger, the woman who was inquiring about a costume idea for her swinger party. I don't know if she's listening,

but I actually created a brand new character this year. He's called pumpkin man. Oh, I, I, I know pumpkin man. I really do like pumpkin man. He really like uh halloween's answer to santa claus oh it's a yes he's a he's a man he's a he's not really a man actually he's more pumpkin

than man and he he uh he goes into his kids houses after they fall asleep and he makes sure that the candy's safe to eat oh that's so nice if she's listening i think maybe a pumpkin man costume could be a cool i think it's gonna be i think a lot of people gonna be dressing up as pumpkin man this year what do you leave what do you leave for for pumpkin man he's he's not he asks of nothing in return ah he actually and he's not he's not um you know he's not like santa claus who gets and choose and, you know, judges everyone who's deserving of candy. He visits all children. I had to do this with the Easter Bunny, Nick, when my daughter was very young.

She was afraid of the Easter Bunny. We told her there was an Easter Bunny and the concept of it scared the fucking shit out of her. Yeah. We couldn't get her to relax. So what we did was we told her there's a guy named Easter Joe. And he comes up to the house at night when she's asleep. And he wears a hard hat. He dresses like a construction worker.

And he watches baseball with me. And then these are her Easter basket. And she was so okay with Easter Joe. Was there a guy who came over and watched baseball with you? No, nobody ever wanted to watch baseball with me. That's probably why I don't watch anymore. This person says, I'm all for costume parties, but if it's going to eventually come off,

I'm not going to spend too much time slash effort or money in getting dressed up. That's what I'm talking about. Smart. It's smart. I ain't going to spend $200 for a costume that's going to be on the floor while i'm getting my dick sucked and we also know that it's very expensive to get into the swingers club

especially halloween night's got oh buddy it's gotta be what yeah especially if like what they're saying it's like their christmas or whatever like everyone's coming out and it's gonna be high yeah it's gonna cost you a lot definitely we've heard 90 a person for one of them the the columbus one when the guy got mad yeah but they charged up 90 but advertised 60 well 60 because it costs money to go to a swingers party oh man oh yeah especially if you're a single guy if you're a single guy it costs you so much i don't know well that also doesn't really make sense i guess i don't know is there a difference between a swingers party and an orgy if you're i thought a swinger

implied that you're couples no there is a different like you can go to someone's house and just have like a swinger party of your own but there's these like swingers clubs there are sex clubs that you actually go to and they have like dungeon rooms and and uh all these you know sex rooms and you go there and presumably have sex with other people you have to bring nick on the stream to show them what a swingers club yeah we could show you some of the playrooms and whatnot there's some of them are pretty pretty pretty scary themselves to be honest they do have pretty halloweeny type vibes well i mentioned jimmy buffett earlier and apparently uh he has a large a large a large

portion of his audience are swingers would you guys oh yes that is that is 100 the truth i could i would stake all everything i have in the world on that with zero information i would just say that is guaranteed 100 so if if that's true and uh it's also true that halloween is swingers christmas maybe it doesn't make sense to end summer on jimmy buffett's death yeah maybe we extend the summer all the way through maybe this summer's got to keep going in honor of jimmy buffett and maybe people got to step it up and maybe you got to add a add somebody else if you've if you've had say you're a swinger or whatever you've had a fivesome say maybe you got to step it up and have a sixome this year yeah in honor of jimmy in honor of jimmy the margarita man in there yeah so

this person mike replied pumpkin man gets a stick a hole cut a hole in there stick your dick in in a pumpkin man or whatever i don't know i'm just spitballing mike connor says uh best costume is prostitute or playboy bunny okay it's creative that is creative yeah here's one fun island couple says uh me and my wife are going as the mcmurray's can watch the show Letter Kenny will get it, which I got. Oh, see, I'm Canadian and I know somebody on the show Letter Kenny. My friends on the show. Oh, I do, too. But I know most of the characters from Letter Kenny.

But I don't know those characters. I guess they're the parents, maybe, of one of the characters. I don't really know. Well, Canadians get it. This person says, this year we went to the L.S. Nudist campground. I don't know what that is. Halloween party. I went as an eight-foot-tall inflatable chicken.

And the missus went lingerie-clad with cattail and ears. She had a sign that said, i have the largest cock in the park and i had a squirt bottle and a sign that says i make pussies wet oh fuck you brian oh god that's a good place to end the episode oh there's a few more i think we're trying sexy steampunk this year and the collection grows. This person says, I was going to dress up as a train and her as a cop,

which I don't know what that is. This guy says, I'm going as a dick, D-I-C-K, tater, T-A-T-O-R. Johnny and baby from Dirty Dancing. This guy says a lot about himself here.

Not original in the least, but I'll be fulfilling my fantasy as Fred. Wife is Velma. Our girlfriend is Daphne. And there's about a dozen other Velmas going to this party. So we'll get them all together for a photo with, quote, Fred. Yeah, I'm sure. We're going as a sexy. That guy wants more than a photo with all the

velmas you know what i mean it's a velma a daphne orgy it's well i'm confused is it scooby-doo party all right not even scooby-doo it's just fred daphne and velma party yeah there's no scooby-doo it's i don't think i don't think there's a scooby-doo costume you can wear to the swinger club i don't i don't think it fits the vibe of the place i would you want to know you want to hear a good uh um costume for like a sex party or whatever there's a legitimately good one that's like kind of creative too is you go as a glory hole well yeah there here's one we're going as a sexy bride and groom then we will walk around and ask sexy couples if they want to be in our quote wedding party okay i see i see okay that's kind of cool i guess that's kind

of creative creative way to have sex with other people this woman says i'm a pumpkin and he has a shirt that says Peter Peter. All right. I have an Alphacostinator. No, Brian, I got it. I got it. I understood it. I hate when they're making their little jokes, Brian. It really bothers me when they're making their little jokes, you know?

Yeah, MaskEye70 says she's going as a and always that's very revealing black dress that shows a lot of cleavage accessories to go with what she was this guy replies and goes never thought of itself to be a costume wow how did that go uh and mask guy says i guess i should have said dressed slutty she got a lot of attention his wife's getting all the attention at the club and he's like uh man i should have a better costume so those are some swinger suggestions if you're a swinger out there and you want to really show people the halloween spirit i think you you just yeah you address as uh peter peter pumpkin eater and that is the show um nick tell people where to find you well hey wait quickly

we're gonna find them right after we stop recording too because we're gonna play a fun one of it's one of the great halloween songs it's one of Nick's songs It's basically a spirit Halloween Theme song essentially And yeah we love it so much We're going to play it to end this episode But yeah where can people find you other than that You can find me on the internet At Nick Lutzko

You know all the places Twitter, Instagram, YouTube Patreon Nick It was so fun having you yeah it was a pleasure thanks for having me guys to get you on the stream so you can look at yeah i would love to that'd be cool uh this uh go to patreon.com slash murder x brian for more guys and shocked over uh we're just finishing it up i probably this this week with we're going to have shit. Well, last week we had John Gabrus.

Yeah, we did Opie and Anthony with John Gabrus. Go check out. We got me, DB and Brian doing Shocktober on the Patreon. We did Greaseman. We did Howard Stern, Bob and Tom, Opie and Anthony. And yeah, we're going to finish it off with Man Cow. Man Cow. And so, yeah.

Also, the stream is MurderXBrian. Anywhere you find stuff, it's MurderXBrian. Next week on Guys, it's a big one. It's one of the biggest ones. We can do audio files so that's it goodbye bye