Guys: With Bryan Quinby - Guys: Episode 49 - Weed Guys with Chris Locke

Episode Date: January 16, 2024

Hey Buuuuuuuuddy. How's it going, this episode is about weed guys, not like weeds in your yard, guys that smoke that wonderful piff. Chris got high for the episode and I don't think you can tell because he is such an accomplished weed smoker. We talked about how to handle getting "too high" and bong maintenance, read some leafly reviews of weed strains and we learn a few ways to pass a drug test (and a few ways not to) Chris Locke is https://www.instagram.com/chrislockefun/ on Instagram and was in the film Who's Yer Father? and he does the Evil Men podcast There is much more Chris at twitter.com/thecjs and of course https://www.patreon.com/notevenashow And for more Guys content, streams and SHOCKTOBER: a deep dive into shock jocks you can click patreon.com/murderxbryan twitter.com/murderxbryan and twitch.tv/murderxbryan Rate and review us and don't be mean

Welcome to Guys, a podcast about guys. I am Brian, your host. My co-host is the ultimate narc chris james you're an arc what you're an arc well listen there's only one there's only one of us right here on this call i believe who is high and that's me so i think that the the only person here who could be accused of being a narc is you with your with your hooded sweatshirt on officer i'm wearing a houndstooth hooded sweatshirt it's one of my favorite shirts and uh with us this week to talk about weed guys we have chris lock what's up chris hell yeah chris lock i say i'm

gonna say his i don't know i guess we'll figure that out as we go. Chris Locke. Well, what do you mean we'll figure what out? How to know which Chris I'm talking to. Oh, I see. How about I'll go by Chris, and then Chris can go by Lockie. Lockie. Okay.

Loch Ness Monster. Okay. Loch Ness Monster. Okay. Loch Ness Monster and Chris J. I might just call you Monster Nessie or something. That'd be sick. Yo, Monster. I'm on an edible right now. 50 milligrams of CBN.

You're going to get sleepy. That's the sleepy stuff. My knees feel great. Okay. Okay. I mean, I sleepy that's the sleepy stuff my knees feel great okay okay i mean i guess that's good i guess you know hey listen you've got something in you that's more than i can say for officer uh quinnby over there canadian man not smoking weed Just life's tough. I'm on a 50 milligram CBN edible and some green tea. Okay. So green tea is probably the thing that's good. I used to take CBN every night before I went to bed because I was convinced it was making me sleep.

But I was starting to take so many of it that I would wake up in the middle of the night just fucking ripped. And I was like, what's CVN? It's the sleepy compound. That's what I call it. Isn't that THC? No, THC can do several things. You know, it could be a sativa. It could be an indica. It could be a hybrid. There's

plenty. There's a lot of cannabinoids and the wonderful plant of marijuana. And we're going to learn about a few of themabinoids and the wonderful plant of marijuana. And we're going to learn about a few of them maybe tonight. You know, I ate half a weed cookie last night. That's some guy gave me a nice guy gave me. So he was trustworthy. I'm pretty sure.

But then it was that kind of high where when I was half going to sleep, half still awake, I had the thought, hey, my thoughts are in 3D. Nice. Well, I went all over the Internet. You know, this is the least kind of Reddit based episode we're going to do for a while. Nice. Because I went to the Grass city forums and uh what are those what are the grass city forums it's a forum for people who like you know smoking grass dude okay so should we let's let's go through i think this is a good thing to do as we start what's

everybody's because obviously listen i'm i'm a weed i'm not a weed guy i mean i do you're really good at smoking weed i think you are you're really good chris at taking weed i'm good at taking weed i'm i've done it before i like it and i'll take some mushrooms every now and then as well just a small amount about that another day you'll take mushrooms and watch movies by yourself right exactly yeah i might do that actually today i might go to wonka i might go to wonka and take like a half gram um but yeah i took 50 milligrams of wonka but yeah so i think we should go so i've i've used marijuana i've never really gotten into the culture of it i've always i guess maybe it's like a little bit of a way where I can like feel a little bit like, hey, okay, I might use weed and stuff,

but I'm not like a weed guy. But I also think that I do find it a little bit like annoying, some elements of it. But like, Brian, what's your relationship to weed and weed guys and Chris as well before we get into the stuff? I was in the, would you say the culture like is that what we're calling it? I think I was probably a big time weed culture guy. Okay, so you were actually like at what age and did something just happen to your microphone?

I'm high, but I turned it down a little bit. I turned the monitoring down. Okay, I got it. Something happened to it. high but i turned it down a little bit i turned the monitoring down okay i got something happened to it i i wasn't sure because again i'm not listen we record early so i'm not usually high when we do these but this for this episode i got high and i'm i'm high i'm like not like i'm really actually very high right now well I was just trying to turn down because the monitoring is super loud. But anyway, I loved all the weed stuff. I was big time into weed when I was a teenager, when I was like, I smoked it when I was 12.

Yeah. That's me too, I think. We discussed this. Yeah, I was so into it for like 10 years. And then I quit so that I could get addicted to painkillers. And then I quit painkillers, told the story on another show, went to rehab, and then was like, I'm going to start smoking weed again. And then I was right back in it. I was right back in the like, like 420, dude.

And really, the only thing that stopped me was seeing people goofing on the weed culture online. You know, I see see so you like didn't even you're like oh you thought it was cool and then you saw people being like yo this isn't cool and you're like oh okay i was like 420 yo i love 420 and you know and then you get them people were like goofing on all the time so it was like i guess i'll just say weed's not cool but honestly i think i am a weed guy i i love the culture i don't hate it at all yeah i i mean i guess i do like i like reggae music no i don't um i like that i like reggae music and i do i mean listen i love to get stoned and be looking out over the ocean and listening to some good tunes or whatever.

Do you like giggling when someone else is trying to be serious? Yeah. Oh, yeah. I do like that. One of my favorite things. I mean, yeah. Listen, I think there's a lot of positive aspects of it, some negative. it is there's a lot of positive aspects of it some negative i just i think that the whole idea of basing your life around which i don't think you do brian but maybe did at one point oh yeah

it's not something that you should be doing because i think it is like it's something i do to sort of escape you know so from the life so if you're like oh okay this is what i'm basing my life around escaping from you know responsibilities in life i i i don't i don't think that's the best thing to do but i can't really judge weed guys either chris what's your relationship to weed guys i was like you guys then like i just smoked weed all the time in high school yeah um then i quit it like i had panic attacks like in my early 20s all the time then i quit it for a long time then i started casually getting into it late 20s early 30s and then uh now i just casually do it i'm a lightweight but i like it because i

like having like a lightweight buzz well that's something we should start with here the weed guys really their whole goal is low tolerance i've only seen one guy say that high tolerance is good yeah of course how how do you get a low tolerance so that when you smoke like one bowl, you feel like you've taken 10 hits of acid, you know, that's what they want because it's so fucking expensive to be one of those guys that smokes like a half ounce a day.

It just, it's too much. Whoa. Like, are there, I guess what I'm saying? I, I have been somebody who at times,

not anymore, but at times has smoked, I think, quite a bit of weed. But the idea of going and i won't so i just i i can't imagine what that feels like on your throat every day to be smoking that amount of marijuana you know hardcore guys get halitosis too yeah and also like you're saying their breath gets bad from smoking too much i don't know what's on, but I swear there's a few people I know that are chronic that have that fucking dog shit breath. And you think you're drawing a correlation. You don't think it's a coincidence. You think there's a correlation between that? Want me to Google it right now?

Yeah, Google and see if there's a correlation between heavy weed smoking and dog shit well i thought we'd start simple with the grass city forums and the question is what's the best way to smoke weed okay i like this is a really good question this is a great question this is a great important question so the dank bank says in my experience it depends on the tolerance dry pipes with no tolerance so you can take little hits then once you get a decent tolerance a bong i like 8 to 12 inch simple bongs there's less air inside for the smoke to resonate and get stale and it's easy to clean so that's helpful i mean i haven't hit a bong since probably like 2003.

Yeah, I don't know. Bongs I haven't definitely hit in a while. You know, a good bong. But I'll definitely, I will. I'll hoot out of a bong. I don't mind that. Put some ice in there and some water, you know? I think it's something people generally quit first, you know?

Yeah. I think it's something people generally quit first. Basically, I think the most adult thing you can do is one hitter. If you have a one hitter that you just kind of hit all day, that's what adults do. You hit it all day? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Dude, I think you know you're an adult if you take a one hitter hit while withdrawing cash at a bank just people behind you in the lineup you just put yeah fucking cover it with your head kind of

yeah yeah or having like a meeting about like getting a mortgage or something yeah and adults adult weed guys i mean i would say the best portion of them use you know the little wood thing where you can put extra weed in yeah it seems cool little cigarette look i love that it's painted like a cigarette by the way i think it's great but you shouldn't be hitting out of metal so they make glass ones now yeah keep that and that's all you hit like everything all the weed use in your life revolves around the one hitter because you only need one or two hits it's like how a priest would have like a flask you know what i mean it's as it's as regal as that you can't

take bong hits when you're in your 30s it's crazy yeah that's that's wild that is what i i'll smoke out of just a little pipe that's what i'll smoke out of a little a little pipe or whatever but i that's because i don't i'm not out in like i don't have i'm not smoking out in like situations where i have to be discreet about it you know i I would be smoking it around my house, you know? Well, here's another good question. Okay. Getting high can be great, but have you ever felt you got too high? Mind you, this is the grass city forums.

Yeah, I think probably. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I've been too high, I think, but I don't think i've ever been too high on weed really just gone to sleep i just gone to sleep oh i can't that's lucky of you yeah like i don't know what what is what is it being too high how would you get too high on weed everything you're uncomfortable yeah your brain is like louder than the outside world i've been uncomfortable before but that like i don't know i can attribute that to weed i think

i just was uncomfortable probably who knows but no i don't think i've ever been i've gotten like so high on like weed edibles or stoned on weed when i was a teenager that i just had to go to sleep yeah but the gerkin did say yeah lots of times i go in a dark room close my eyes and think of nothing after 15 minutes i'm good nice that's like maybe with mushrooms or like stuff like that hallucinogenic drugs or like even when i would take like ecstasy when i was younger you know and i had like all kinds of weird drugs in it uh then i would have those kind of freak outs uh but not because like during like high school i would leave at night during weeknights to meet up with my friend to smoke joints and then i'd come home and i'd have

to like avoid my parents and it'd be around bedtime so i'd go to my room turn the lights off and this is the 90s too so there's no you know yeah it's like a dark room for real but would you listen to music yeah i would i definitely would i'd listen to my disc man what what do you what would you like what would you think you would be throwing on at that point if you're all high hiding in your room in high school sonic youth fried my mind oh yeah that's a tough i did cypress hill oh cypress hill yeah cypress hill i definitely listened to i definitely listened to like uh to snoop dog doggy style as well oh that'd be great yeah that's how deep in i was is like cypress hill one of my favorite bands for a period of my life and it was really i remember seeing them that it was uh far side

311 and cypress hill went to the show to see it and took a whole cigarette pack full of joints and it was the highest i'd ever been that's such a sick move i know you know what i mean don't you you just feel like the coolest fucking dude you got a full cigarette pack like all 20 of them are joints and you're just like oh nobody feels cooler than a guy with a cigarette a teenager with a cigarette pack filled with joy and then that sound comes in you know i mean and you're just like the whole crowd's like i want to get high yeah you're like just holding it up like passing it around offering joints but i wanted to say like what without music sometimes if i was alone in my dark room after just smoking weed and back then i didn't like my friends were

mostly dealers so i didn't even like know it would just be weed to me you know what i mean like i didn't know the difference really but sometimes i'd be so high i would be like i'm schizophrenic because my brain would be so loud saying a million things at once by myself in my room that i'd be having these insane these characters would be having insane conversations i mean that is yeah that's pretty scary obviously as a young person yeah you've heard about this concept of schizophrenia you know like you know of it only sort of what you hear about it from whatever and and then to be sort of experiencing something that seems to be that while you're also very high and unable oh that is they i definitely never had any experiences like that i did on again on you know i took way too

many mushrooms when i was younger and i had experiences like that. Definitely. I would often like if I got way too high, I would listen to ICP because it was funny. You know what I mean? So I would be like, okay, that's what I'm going to listen to. Bander boy has a story about getting too high. And this one's a good one. What's his name? Weedhead. I should have known better when I left a co-worker's house and couldn't remember how to put my car in reverse. When I got about halfway home, I pulled over onto a side street, reclined

the seat all the way, and opened up the sunroof. I was totally limp. Not fun. Yeah. Sometimes that doesn't sound fun. Sometimes you shouldn't drive yeah i know brian in any any night where brian's totally limp he is not having fun i know that chris he's a he's into like the lifestyle if you know the pineapple lifestyle do you know it's the

are you familiar with the lifestyle pineapple lifestyle no it's called the pineapple lifestyle but i'm not into it i want to learn okay well brian brian can be your sensei he's he loves to teach and he loves to bring people in as well it's just looking up the pineapple lifestyle it's good duff says i love. This is my first favorite one I'm going to read. Okay. One of my favorite things. Yep. I'm a retired scientist and I did my project combined smoking different amounts with drinking

different amounts of alcohol. And I know exactly what I can smoke or drink without waking up with a big ass headache. Smoking an entire bowl where I usually smoke a third to a half bowl will give me a raging headache the next day. I've never felt nauseous though. I live really far out in the country and have 10 to 12 plants in various stages of growth at any time. So I always have plenty to experiment with. So this guy, this guy was a scientist. Yeah, he was a scientist. So we're talking about a scientist here who is now sort of just using his expertise in science in the field of science he didn't sort of specify but

he's a scientist and he's sort of using it now to do some scientific experiments of his own where he drinks a bunch of beer and smokes a bunch of weed it's like dr frankenstein it's like dr jekyll and mr hyde science in a way you're not like oppenheimer yeah you're not supposed to use yourself that's the uh thing you're but i guess it's better than you know being like sitting down with your like wife or your friends and they're like i'm gonna need you to take two drinks of this beer and three puffs of this specific weed oh he needs to he needs to know because also he's doing the research so it's best for him to do it because then he can trust it better do you know what i mean otherwise it's being filtered through a person who could be like lying about it or like

not able to describe it accurately so this is definitely the best way to conduct this research from a scientific standpoint can i tell you guys some research i found out here from uh museum smiles dentistry yeah in summary the use of marijuana could cause bad breath there are a number of mouth rinses that can reduce the harmful effects on the breath flossing brushing and keeping up with dental visits help in preventing the occurrences of periodontal disease however the use of thc must be properly discussed with a physician so i gotta tell you chris that uh that's from a dental yeah they're trying to scare us hey yeah they they they have a dog in the fight i don't know that i would necessarily trust them on it what about the

people whose breaths i've smelled well i believe you i mean i mean and you're doing your own stuff okay i'm on cora.com now Someone says, as for my own experience, I'd have to say yes. Okay. I mean, it dries your mouth out and you are smoking. So I can get down with that. So I have another sort of slightly anti-chronic sentiment from my experiences as a teenager.

I would say that in university i was also smoking a ton that's why i'm a dropout uh and this other chronic girl smoker we hooked up one night because i think we kind of like we're crushing on each other obviously and then i went back to her room and sorry to be crass, everybody. Oh, Brian doesn't mind. Brian doesn't mind. I know. He's in the pineapple lifestyle.

So you actually might want to enjoy picturing this. But she started giving me a BJ. And I will always remember it as the driest bj i've ever felt oh she was too high she had that dry mouth yeah like that classic dry mouth that we've all experienced yeah cotton mouth that is a drawback yeah you want a yeah that's fucking that's that's an interesting issue that you deal with if you're in you know one of these classic stoner relationships you know what I mean

honey can I make a request could you suck me before we smoke today or at least get some of that mouth lube oh yeah I guess like what would be both i

guess uh water water water some type of uh maybe butter mountain dew uh astro yogurt astro yogurt yeah yogurt yogurt would help or i'll but oh oh wait i just thought of something i'll give her yogurt that's smart yeah uh yeah wait you're gonna yeah later you understand yeah brian does i don't really i get it i don't fully get it pineapple lifestyle was but i didn't know pineapple was associated with it when you said lifestyle that's what i figured yeah upside down pineapple if you ever see an upside down pineapple that it means that the person's a swinger basically and you just you don't want to you don't want to say the lifestyle because it'll get you demonetized on you that's why they say say pineapple yeah yeah they don't say swinger this person says

all the time for some reason sativas or indicas in general just don't work for me. But you'll find people at my knowledge who will say they feel high when they're stoned, even though I don't. My knowledge. Guess it's part of the experience that every person is different and has different effects with different drugs. We never know if that person who tells us they never felt high is telling the truth at any rate yeah i remember feeling really high one time after smoking with my cousin who

had smoked a couple puffs before turning to me and saying yo bae want to get high and my response was yes so i don't think that person's ever been too high no that person's yeah that i like coming on the forum to say that too well here's something we know that it can smoking weed being a weed guy can really like i guess demotivate you at times you know what i mean yeah that's that's fair a question on the forum is, how often do you change your bong water? So this is a good question. Yeah, I think if you're smoking out that bong, you got to be changing that up daily, I think. If you're regularly smoking, I don't think you can. You got to keep that bong water clean and clear.

They don't do that, though. You know they don't. Of course. I know. Like when I was younger and I smoked out of a bong, I definitely didn't clean it all the time. Ever. Ever. We never cleaned.

Oh, no. I cleaned it sometimes. I didn't clean the bong. I didn't clean the couch. I didn't clean my bed. I didn't clean the bong. I didn't clean the couch. I didn't clean my bed.

Puff a luffagus says I put new water in every smoke sesh, even change it between ball packs sometime. Yo, puff a luffagus was here and I missed him again. What's the point in leaving the water in there? So that person changes it every single time and that's like the idea of like a super regimented uptight hardcore stoner but that's the right way to do it that's the right way to do it but yeah you're right that that is i feel like that is a rarity somebody who's like i'm gonna smoke weed all the time but i'm also very organized

and i'm gonna keep up to date on all of the cleanliness and everything. Yeah, they have a brush cut and wear like Under Armour clothes. Argent butt sniff says, yep, I can't stand a dirty bong. The other day we smoked all day from 10 30 in the morning to 2 30 at night change the water three or four times man that's what i mean like i i just and i guess when i was a teenager and we thought that there was like maybe a year of my life you know when i was like 18 or 17 or something no maybe 19 around that um where i was like yeah let's smoke weed all day but so i guess that's who's posting here probably oh yeah because i

don't think right you can't be an adult you can't be in your 30s ed you can i can tell you a story 30 to 230 well i can tell you that you can when i got injured at work i just i fucking smoked weed from the time i went got up till the time i went to bed every night i mean 10 a.m to 2 30 in the morning is a lot but okay so i guess it depends how much you're smoking because i i suppose i don't stay up till 2 30 but it's bongs too how much you're smoking because I suppose I don't stay up till 2.30 but it's bongs too but if you're smoking yeah like maybe I can see at the height of my smoking even in my 30 you know like that I

would smoke maybe once in the early afternoon once in like the early evening and once at night so then I'm technically smoking for that period of time but they're talking about just regularly smoke like smoking probably like every half hour wake and bake yeah i know some people that wake up in the middle of night and need to get high to go

back to bed i used to be that way for a period of time i had a pin next to my bed and i would just get up and just huff a bunch of it down. So did you find after that, that you were like weirdly getting reacquainted with your sober mind again? No, I just, I would buy an Indica, which by the way, I'm not big on the, every strain does something different, you know, but I would at the time you know buy an indica and lay in bed and if i wasn't falling asleep i would just grab the pen and keep smoking until i fell asleep and it generally worked yeah that's and and that your psychiatrist told you to do that

right yes yes she told me my medicine is to smoke a bunch of weed in the middle like just continue to do it until it literally knocks you out and then you're that's the best way to get to sleep well i found out that you're like not really supposed to smoke a lot of weed when you're a teenager because that's the prime moment of like your brain. Yeah. Building and evolving. But I found that out in my late 30s when I've already realized two decades in how fucked up I am. This person says I change it every use and clean it every few days. Otherwise, there's no flavor. I've seen people take fat rips out of a bong with black resin and weak old water.

It makes me want to puke slash bitch at them for being disgusting. So it does make sense that these are all the replies because who's going to come on and be like, I'll fucking leave it for five months. It's all nasty. I'm so gross. Like, obviously, it's going to be everybody who is going to be, you know be all holier than thou coming on here. It says one of these says my buddy used to save the water with bits of weed and strain it through a coffee filter and smoke the bits of weed. He caught LMAO. I change my water every day.

Oh, it sounds to me like he did that. That's what I'm saying. These people don't want to admit to any of this. He's like, my buddy used to do this really nasty shit because he knows it's nasty. My buddy used to get his dog to suck his dick. Yeah. And it's like, he said it fucking felt great, but like, still nasty, right? Right.

Should I tell my buddy not to do it anymore yeah should i just like yeah let him like keep doing the only thing that fucking brings him any fucking happiness in this world the thing is is my dog is used to it now i mean his dog his dog is used to it now i feel like the dog would this would actually be bad for the dog funk doc says i should change it more often but i would say every three to five days i'm gonna start changing it every day on my next pickup pieces are soaking away so they guilted funk doc yeah that's hey that's something good came out of this forum somebody's gonna clean their bong a little well let's be honest i don't know what they are and i don't know if any even all the people who say that they clean it every day are yeah if you're listening let us know how you're

doing these days and honestly i would like to have seen some pictures or whatever you know like some pictures with the day's paper beside with the bong to show that it's clean every day because i'm not believing it i mean he they really pressured that guy and now he's feeling bad about himself probably like i am kind of gross yeah yeah but you know what that's what a community is for yeah yeah you know when you're being gross a little bit when you took it a little too far you need to reel it back in stop being so gross yeah i'm sorry no no yeah uh i found a very uh unpopular dispensary in vancouver british columbia oh this is interesting that's my uh home uh turf my home stomping grounds chris has been there before chris is of course a fellow canadian yeah uh and so he and he's been here well you were just here

yeah like three weeks ago yeah you didn't even message me but i had no time i knew you were here too and i didn't message you so i'm just as guilty where the hell hell were you? I'm busy these days. Too busy. Yeah, but we always get breakfast or lunch or something. We do. We usually do. Yeah. It was a blitz for me this time. But so Chris will not possibly know this place, but I would say I will most likely know it.

Cannabis culture. Well, that's not a dispensary, really. Is it? It's not? It seems like people are smoking there and getting... Yeah, they do. See, that's owned by Mark Emery. He's a very famous figure.

The Prince of Pot, they called him. He was actually arrested many, many years ago in America for selling seeds online. And he served like five years in American prison. And he's like a big activist. And he's like the big activist and he's like the big so that's his company cannabis culture i think i read a vice article on him yeah he's a real scoundrel oh is he yeah he's not he's not he's not he's not um he's apparently a real scoundrel that allegedly quite a scoundrel not a good guy he doesn't scoundrels are good but no no no no

no no chris you got that wrong scoundrels not good oh i would love to be a good scoundrel i know that's where you want to be a mischievous scamp yeah uh tyler f gave it one star which seems like this mark emery just doesn't train his cashiers is what it looks like. He goes, terrible experience. The people working there acted like they knew something about smoking that I didn't. Oh, well, that's also here. That's bad training. You have to understand that this guy, what's his name?

Tyler. bad training you have to understand that this guy what's his name tyler tyler he knows a thing or two about a thing or two about weed and you don't need to be lecturing him yo you're fucking talking to tyler here man the biggest issue at places like that he's just like fucking hey so this is like really really good for like you know if you're looking for uplifting. I know. I know, motherfucker. I fucking know, man. Treated me as a three-year-old and also acted as if they were better than their job.

The atmosphere was okay. Whoa. That's a really weird comment. It sounds like a personal projection this is very bizarre to say somebody acted like they're better than their job so you're then you're making a judgment on their job oh yeah yeah yeah i mean i think this guy was annoyed that somebody said hey this is this can be good or or you know like I think they gave him advice. Or corrected him on something.

Maybe he said something. And then they're just like, well, actually, no, that's not right. The process takes this. That's the weed you're looking for. Yeah. No, you don't. And maybe he seems like somebody who, yeah, they tried to tried to yeah share some sort of expertise with them and he took that yeah he took that very poorly because he's the expert he's the one who

shares expertise yeah and he goes ever since i went there that's what i think of when i think of smoking in canada cringy as fuck if you see reviews that are like four to five stars they probably wrote them for themselves to look good. Don't trust those reviews. Don't go to cannabis culture. So wow. So he's he's saying bad review. And also, I believe that all the good reviews are fakes.

Yeah. Sam S has two stars and he goes, the first weed we got did not even get us high. I went back to get my money back or return it but they just gave me another kind and it was better it was just kind of annoying having to go back the vibe was chill though so yeah i mean that sounds pretty reasonable that they're like oh it didn't work we'll give you some different kind that work. That seems pretty reasonable. I think so. Yeah. I mean, listen, I'm all for the customer, you know, but I think when you buy a weed, if it doesn't get you high or whatever, I don't think you can return it.

No, you can't return the weed. Not based on that. Like if it has like mold on it or it's like so dry, you know what I mean? If there's like something like that, but if you smoke it and you actually use it and you just find the effects aren't what you i think you're in trouble there i think that's you're not getting your money back you got ripped off i've returned half a tall can of coors light to the beer store before yeah and they and they were like yeah okay well let's get you let's try you a little rum you might you look like you might be a rum guy. I was like, yeah, I know. Yeah, I know.

I know I'm into rum. They bought the beer by accident. Excuse me. Do you know who you're talking to? Tyler. I'm Tyler. I'm Tyler in the beer store. Time to get some positivity in the room. And is off the website leafly um i don't know

leafly i've heard of this place sick well they have reviews of every strain of weed there is out there damn i gotta tell you guys almost all of them are four and a half stars or five stars well they're fans of weed what can they say they're like we like all the stuff ain't none of it bad if it's green and it's sticky then it's getting a 4.5 or higher from us yeah it's great it's the most positive site i've seen really and then where are the reviews coming from brian are they like uh user Brian? Are they like user reviews? Yeah, they're user reviews on Leafly. You can go on there and you click the weed you have and then you can write a review of it. I guess.

Yeah, I guess. Yeah, that is weird then because normally you do get some bad reviews. You get those angry people who go online and they want people to know how bad. Maybe nowadays weed is just really good yeah i'm gonna review that pot cookie and say it made my thoughts 3d yeah people would get you would not be the is a strain of weed. He's a basketball player. Yeah.

And this person reviewed it, and they said it made them aroused, focused, sleepy, and provocative. Sorry, sir. Not too bad. It gets you a boner, it seems like. He goes, as a connoisseur, I've had a lot of great strains in my life. This one is the best. Can we just talk about the immediate fuck you this strain will give you?

Whoa. Okay. Yes, we can. Let's talk. Hang on. Can we for a second? I think we should reply to him and say, I'm not getting a boner over here. Hey.

Hey, buddy, I'm smoking the gary payton i just smoked an ounce of it i can't get hard to save my life all these chicks are mad at me i'm sitting here with a bunch of babes i got a whole room full of babes here and they are all waiting for for me and i that is how in amsterdam like that story uh watch yourself if you think you're just smoking another regular strain to quote get through the day okay that's do you know why it's called gary payton because gary payton was a basketball player who mainly gave out good d pause and if you ever give out good d what usually comes after that wait wait wait wait so is this person trying to say this is a sexual strain i've i have never in all of my

years of smoking marijuana heard of a sexual strain that gets you horny and makes your dick hard. Guess what? Gary Payton. And also, this guy's making his own connection as to why it's called Gary Payton. Well, I guess he is. Who knows? Maybe that's a well-known fact. Maybe people know that about it. But I think you're probably right.

I think he's gotten hard. And I think he's fit because if there was a weed that got you hard and got you horny it would be so popular oh yeah it would put all the other weeds there would be a lot of them would be gone then there wouldn't be a need for him you know yeah i've never gotten hot horny off a weed ever ever uh well i don't know i i bet you probably have a couple of times shut up stay active while using this in spite in spite oh you know what this bong looks like brian because it rhymes with dong yeah brian stoned horny brian oh my god this bong looks so much like a dick yes uh it's like sucking on a dick it's really like sucking someone off when i smoke this they

should get weed smoke to come out of a real dick that would be sick i did somebody that looks like a dick somebody did send me a link to a nudist uh weed subreddit but i'm not gonna show the pictures uh i know that's probably why i got kicked off of fucking zoom this person said it's euphoric giggly happy and relaxed and he goes uh i just tried this and it's so strong and i smoke daily so if you're a new smoker i don't know about this one for your first time oh yeah i would say probably stay away from this one this is only for the for the veterans dank i don't know where to start i feel so happy i feel like i can't get in a bad mood like he's trying he's like thinking about like yeah he's thinking about things that like really like stress him out but it's like not even working visually staring at things is so nice you can

get easily lost watching something fascinating well that's just in general it tastes amazing and smells so good it's very euphoric so take it slow with this one or you'll be knocked on your ass it delivers a good head high i feel comfortably numb and overall great buy this if you can get your hands on it 10 out of 10 which he didn't have to give the 10 out of 10 because of five star they do a five star but he wanted to clarify this is more than five this is really good so this is for the gary payton yeah yeah this gary payton's weed sounds really good well well this person says gary payton is the shit i shit you not i tried opening my apartment's front door with my debit card until i realized i was in the motion of putting the card in the key slot i laughed at myself and how goofy what i just did was it was the highest thing i've ever done before

110 percent recommend if you're losing your mind you're starting to lose your grip on reality and there's five stars for you that's a five five stars you're unable to complete the basic tasks that you're required to be a human being and this is a five star experience hell yeah yeah that's a good scale though like it's a good scale to be like i smoked this weed and then i tried to open my door with my debit card yeah i mean listen that's that's a classic though out of a movie kind of you know that is kind of funny like it's weird when people smoke a lot of weed just to be normal though yeah yeah yeah the that's the all-day smokers it's just you just all come back up to normal well i garlic breath, which is a four and a half star strain.

Sounds like that might be. That's the weed you'd get at Boston Pizza. To me, it sounds like it might be the weed that your buddies are smoking. Yeah, I know. You know? Oh, yeah. Garlic breath. More like dog shit breath.

More like dog shit. Well, what did they make that? How did they make that garlic? Did they fucking mix it up with a bunch of dog feces yeah did they get dogs is is it the shit from the dogs that ate at the uh lady and the tramp yeah come on possible from that italian restaurant yeah that was that had garlic in it was it their feces because that's how your breath smells like dog shit right yeah you you fucking stupid

friends of mine stop smoking so much weed you dog shit bread get some gum right yeah xl mint yes uh this person says uh this shit threw me into outer space super talkative intense body high felt like my body was jello and my mind was opening a new google search every 10 seconds that sounds wonderful yeah that sounds cool i mean i i these people are i guess better at describing their i can't really describe my like marijuana stoned experiences i don't think you know sorry did they say their mind is opening and it feels like their mind is opening a new google search every minute it does 10 seconds actually felt like my body was jello and my mind was opening a new google search every 10 seconds whoa man it feels like that's kind of a uh uh you were very it sounds like they were doing it in their head it didn't sound

like they were using their phone to me as their head has a google search situation going on well probably pretty soon that that's probably will be the reality i would love a weed strain that yeah it gives shows you where all the information of the universe is inside your own damn mind that's okay cool yeah chris you can have all that i'll take the stuff to get you hard chris wants the gary gary payton gary payton you know what i mean i want that but i'll know what that strain is because i'll just google it in my brain. Yeah. Well, yeah. Guess what? While your brain Googling, I'll be walking around fucking full rod stoned off my off my arse. Here's something that people don't know, actually, to the listeners out there.

When your brain is actually self Googling, it's impossible for your dick to get hard. That's a good point. This is more of a forbidden knowledge. Yeah. You do have to choose one or the other eh yeah and i've made my choice this yeah we know this guy with the google search every 10 seconds thing gave it four out of five stars he didn't give it a five star review okay well he's had better That's because the answers Google came up with sucked. Yeah, because he's stupid. All the answers are stupid.

Every answer I came up with was stupid. He gave a five-star review to one strain, and that was, of course, Gary Payton. Gary Payton, top strain. This next one about Garlic Breath is five stars and uh this is one of the most stoner things i've read ever pretty sure i broke my collarbone taking a fat fucking globber of this in micro diamond form pretty sure this was also the strain that i broke my rib from like two years ago worth it but in case you haven't gathered this will make you cough and cough and cough and hurl and cough some more but what you receive out of it afterwards is

incredibly rewarding just harsh as fuck bro oh yeah see i can't this guy they're talking about coughing so hard that you're hurting yourself yeah that's awesome yeah i mean that is fun sounds just horrifying and i guess i have been there again because we did when i was younger when we smoked out of a five foot bong i got it that made me cough like that it made my friend throw up but we had this we had this like nine person bong that was like thick and it was a like a hookah like thing so five or six people are filling the bong you know what i mean sitting around with the uh with with different plastic hoses and i was like yeah let's do it man and those motherfuckers filled the bong and then when it was time to inhale,

they put their fingers over their thing. So I inhaled the whole fucking thing. And that's the most I've ever been. And they were fucking going, they were dying, laughing about it. They really thought it was funny. How did you feel? I laid down on the floor and they got up like six hours later and was like okay i think i can move around the last the last time i ever like even had any experience smoking out of a big bong was my friend whose nickname was gina that's a good name yeah nickname gina he was wild he was like would take his clothes off at a party all the time and just be sitting there you know nude at a party out on like a chair or whatever he was really out of control guy um but in it was in a shed at my friend's house and i remember him just straight

up taking a rip of this massive bong and just looking me right in the eyes and then throwing up and then passing out and just falling over you know like on you no just on the ground but just falling falling like you know because i was far enough away from him that there was room in between us to for him to puke but then he just fell straight over and passed out and was completely unconscious and i was like you know what i don't know i just use a small regular size bong from now on you know what, you know what? I don't know. I just use a regular size bong from now on. You know what, China? You know what, China, man?

He got a man up. You know what, China? You puke like a... Yeah. China, China. Yeah. I mean, this guy, listen. Is it Jaina or China?

Jaina. Jaina. Yeah. Like vagina. Like vagina. Or Regina, sorry. No, it was like vagina yeah that's i i kind of i mean i love throwing up so it doesn't that it doesn't affect me at all that's weird i i mean i think most people don't we've discussed this it's most people don't like that it's my second favorite bodily function of all of them what's your first fucked up nutting and my last is kidding

you like puking before nutting no no no dude no after just nothing nothing comes first then puking do you um um like if you're nutting and then you start puking does is the orgasm better i don't know i've never done it but i just like i don't i like puking more than i like doing any of the other body stuff i know why body stuff because you feel wonderfully model thin after you puke well and you feel sick before you puke and then after you puke it's like oh okay i genuinely puked from drinking recently and it blew my mind because that hasn't happened to me in like a decade or more you know i mean that's incredible it was weird were you at home were you at home in the safety of your own home or i was at home and my wife and two daughters were that just shows you what kind of dad i am like they're gone for the weekend to her mom's house

like to their nana's house yeah and i'm like yeah i'm just going out to do a stand-up show and maybe have a couple drinks with friends and i like literally went back to like i drank too much i'm puking but i also think honestly because i can i can tie one on when i need to you know i think i i got a little caesar's pizza do you guys have little caesar's where you are oh yeah we do i just had a little caesar's was part of what fucked me up not just the copious amounts of alcohol i agree i just had it for the first time in years the other day and yeah i would i would say that that that could have been the culprit on its own i actually wrote a stand-up joke about it about how like i had little caesars then i went out and drank a million drinks

yeah then i came home and puked and i was like i don't know about little caesars man i mean you gotta you gotta blame something uh this guy said tastes amazing first time smoking this strain on the wake and bake usually not a morning person but smoking this changes all that definitely will be buying again no i have to start a brand new bad habit nice so sorry he said he's not saying he's smoking in the morning yes he did he said this is going to be his wake and bake strain i see so he's found one that is going to allow him to be stoned all the time now instead of just 75 of the time why is that garlic breath that's garlic breath, yeah.

Damn, because they should make morning strains called like cinnamon raisin oatmeal or something. Totally. Yeah, sunshine breakfast or something like that. That would be awesome, yeah. My wife likes purple Urkel, so I had to get some purple Urkel

reviews. Oh, really? Did you do that purple urkel just makes me picture like steve urkel's dick or something yeah really hard though really fucking hard like as hard as possible yeah like him after smoking some paint and yeah like him seeing laura and he has to be like held back here's a five-star review and he says it tastes like sweet grape soda and fruit and i got so high i forgot my soda was open and put it in my coat pocket oh hang on a second wait a second wait a second what did he say it tastes like

grape soda and then what did he say the second part he forgot his soda i think he was drinking grape soda i know he thinks it tastes like that this weed tastes like grape soda no wait now it tastes like sour cream and onion chips dude that's not the weed man that's so funny goat strain for medical users packs an indica body high but instead of indica brain haze i get super happy giggly and talkative most of my best writing this past year has been fueled by purple oracle and it's also guaranteed to improve my mood that's not good that's fucking i hope it was feel like wasn't it fueled by your fucking brain and ideas mostly? Like, okay.

The only downside, this is a great downside, guys. The only downside is that there's a hard cap for how stoned you can get. It's still high, but it's stuff is pretty strong, which is good for daily use, but not for trying to get absolutely flavor blasted. I've gone back for this strain three times this year so purple arco purple arco all right i'm gonna look it up i'm gonna order it we got a a great question here that i think from trees the reddit it's r slash trees and this is a marijuana uh subreddit yeah okay this might be this and grass city are

great like they're just there's you could spend all day there finding funny shit but this question i really liked because this is something i don't think you guys you would remember it from when you were younger but i don't think this is something any of us really think about anymore. And he says, how do I go about asking our pizza delivery guy for some weed? Yeah, yeah. We had like a, what's it called? Bottle delivery guy in high school. We get like, yeah, we get alcohol, weed, cigarettes, and like chips. Yeah, we had somebody specifically that would yeah there was

like a service locally where you could call and they would go get booze for you and then drop it off uh yeah but not for weed when we were when we were young that was not a thing you had to go meet somebody to go buy weed but there were weed dealers i lived hey listen i lived in vancouver so it was a real weed like we had weed stores when i was younger even like you know way before it was legal or anything so it was never hard to get it we never had to like go to crazy lengths like you know there was a door run by the last time i was there when i got the burger with you and stefan yeah um i walked like that same trip i walked into i might have been two years ago i walked into a shroom store even yeah oh yeah i love yeah yeah there's shroom stores uh around for sure but yeah there was

the black well i shouldn't say that i think toronto's just starting to get shroom stores now oh there's a ton of them there. When I was just recently there, it was like a shroom store on every block. We were like, I Googled shrooms dispensary when we were in Toronto. You came to visit Toronto. That's sweet. Where are you out of? Columbus, Ohio.

Oh, nice. Oh, he admits it. Oh, folks, we got him. We got his ass, everyone. We got his ass. You can cut it out i have no he can't he doesn't actually know how to i'm the one who's gonna be editing it so he can't cut it out uh was that really a secret well it's not a secret so much as it's not a secret i'm canadian he lies and says he's canadian and he also lies and says he's from Los Angeles because it's like some big dick swinging thing.

Like I was saying last week, we call it LA. Guys like me, we call it LA. So this is what I'm saying. To put him on the record, say that he is in Columbus, Ohio. No, he just said he's in Columbus right now. Yeah, my Twitter says Columbus, Ohio on it, Chris. Well, it also

says Canada and LA. la yes because i'm from those places more it sort of clouds up the thing i i believe i think on purpose i think you make it a little cloudy on purpose by having all three of them in there we don't need to get into it the gray cup is so much so good i just love it okay see canadians wouldn't say that i'm gonna get into you know what i'm gonna get into gray cup i never was but the argos were good this year i think the argos were good so see see this is that that's an actual canadian response not like oh the gray cup's so good we all love it this guy is such a fake canadian we think the super bowl's stupid you know we know we actually in canada most people watch the Super Bowl over the Grey Cup, to be honest.

Not true. Not in my family. Honestly, totally just exclusive content just for you guys today. I'm actually going to join the CFL. Okay. Yeah, man. I could probably play, right? Yeah.

What position do you see yourself? There's some really good players up there, especially on the Argonauts. They're all American, right? Yeah, they're all American. They're all American, but they're just smaller. Well, listen, some of them do make the jump. We had, of course, the quarterback for the Lions. He ended up as a third stringer, though, Nathan Rourke.

And I don't know that he's going to stick on but players do make the sorry he was great all right let's let's i don't i can't even go about asking our pizza delivery guy for some weed i've never smoked or done any drugs i would really like to try out weed but i have no idea how to find slash buy some i believe our pizza guy smokes but i don't know the keyword slash code words to ask him if he deals oh you don't know all the classic code keywords that you have to use yeah there's a lot of keyword codes that he is i mean why don't you just say hey i want to where do i find weed yeah he's a pizza guy he's not a cop yeah come on first answer is ask him do you have any marijuana yeah there you go that's a good answer uh the answer is pretty much this i don't know of any uptight pizza delivery guys so the worst that will happen will

probably be nope just try not to sound narky yeah this guy goes uh yeah don't ask for grass yeah well this guy actually does he goes it's probably best not to use the term marijuana i always get suspicious when a purported toker uses the official name uh i get suspicious when someone says purported toker so what do you have to say about that you gotta go like this i'll get a large pepperoni with bacon crumble green peppers mushrooms and a sack of that sticky icky yeah that's kind of over the phone say it over the phone leave it on their voicemail uh could you say reefer is it not legal in all of the states yet not all of them no it's it's not it just became recreational legal uh here in in in columbus like two months ago yeah and uh

you still can't buy it i have a medical card so yeah yeah that was like what la was like about five six years ago yeah the medical he has no idea i know that about that having delivered pizza i can tell you that no co-workers or people at other locations would ever take offense to being asked just ask straight up hey man you have any weed by any chance i would say you could have a 50 success rate with this method yeah that's yeah probably pretty i mean it depends i think a lot depends on like is this a local pizza guy that you see all the time you know what i mean like is this how small of a place is it if in a real small town kind of area i don't know i might not work hey man hey man hey man you got hey man do you have mini like one bite brownies

yeah maybe you could actually like maybe instead of just asking straight up you could just say like hey dude do you got any brownies that you guys sell you know i'm kind of munching right now you know what i mean and then see how he responds do you have anything that helps enhance the taste of this pizza okay now you got to hear the former pizza guy here speaking hypotheticals hell yeah boy pizza soda if only i could score a dime of some piff off you i'd be whoa whoa sorry sorry sorry you don't want piff what what it what is that a dime of some piff yeah you say i'll read it again boy pizza and soda if only i could score a dime of some piff off you i'd be set wait wait wait wait is that is that a regional i've never heard that a thing that people say yeah yeah i've never heard it i've never is it like when would it be cool to

use it it sounds very uncool it well i mean the uh there's a website where a lot of people release mixtapes like real like like lil wayne really are Oh, yeah. I think it's pretty cool. Okay, you think it's sick? It's cool. You should say it to the guy. I don't think that's the way to go. I've never heard it before, so I'm not cool enough to know it. Well, you know, that way if the kid is a douche,

you can play it off like you're joking. But if he's peddling his wares, he should realize you want some. Can you imagine that? Like Sean was like, Hey man, like, fuck, I'd love to imagine I get some piff,

you know, to score to fucking enhance this meal a little bit. And then he's like, what'd you just say? He's like, I'm fucking with you. It's like, Oh,

okay. It will be like the most uncomfortable. Can I get a bottle of piff it was so funny that was only one of the thing if you go to trees and search pizza uh pizza delivery guy there are so many people like oh you know if you need something call your pizza delivery guy call your local pizza delivery guy he can probably get it for you imagine you're just like a total straight edge pizza delivery guy must just be so annoying like i don't have any piff for you no actually well here's our our last subject here is one that a lot of people have dealt with i don't think the three of us

well i did once but well how do you guys get clean for a drug test i am looking for a job i've never had a drug test in my life you know what i use someone else's piff yep yeah can you piff in a cup for me i'll tell you that's beautiful i'll tell you a story about this guy he used to work with uh he's gonna at the place where i he got a job at the place where i was a roofer oh so this wasn't your cable guy job no and he got hired chris brian was in that was a cable guy like the movie cable guy i like the movie just a regular guy that installed and serviced cable they based the movie around him were you obsessed with one of your customers oh he was obsessed with one of them so he he and he yeah he ended up fucking got so obsessed with

them they drove his truck on top of the guy's corvette oh shit i'm sorry is that not true brian am i making that up, I'll tell you this. I worked with a guy, though. Brian, did you or did you not drive your car on top of the guy's car? On top of a Corvette. Thank you. Corvettes are like little ramps, though. I know. On the front.

Yeah. That's why we're asking for it. And if you got a head full of pills and you're driving one of those big cable trucks, you know, and you're obsessed with one of your customers. I wasn't obsessed with my customer. That guy hated me. If you go to court for driving your truck onto another person's Corvette, you could just say to the judge,

yeah, but look at the way that Corvette looks, Your Honor. They were asking for it. It wasn't that big of a driving around looking like a ramp looking like a ramp in front of my ass i did work with a guy that got fired because uh he did a job at like noon or something in the day and the guy had just offhandedly to be polite kind of mentioned like uh oh i'd like to know, I wish you could come over and have dinner with us or something. And then the guy left. And then after he was off work, he went to the house and knocked on the door and said, I'm here for dinner.

So they ended up firing him. So that is kind of, that's it was that is like the cable guy because guys will offer you a beer because they know you can't take a beer you know what i mean like you go into somebody's house and they a lot of people want to be nice to you they're being they're doing the the court like just like hey that's what you do is you offer a beer but they don't expect you to take it yeah yeah yeah yeah, yeah, yeah. You weren't just, you're not even like supposed to use their bathrooms. But you did. When you're working.

What? I didn't. No. Sometimes you just can't stop it. You got to use the bathroom. Well, it makes sense that Brian didn't though. Well, just the only reason I say that is because it's like,

it could have become a very big issue. Yeah, yeah. Very quickly. And then it's like, what does he do then? He's he's on the job and now they need to call in another tradesman to deal with the situation that he caused yeah that's not good you got to be yeah you got to be a combination cable guy and plumber no he this is when he was a roofer this is when he was a roofer but yeah if you could have been a roofer

and a plumber that would have been helpful then you would have been able to use the washrooms one time i see we'll have you on the stream or something and you can hear the story of brian on the airplane no are you the one that made the airplane turn around no but i think what if they considered it i'm sure yeah i mean you came out of the bathroom did you say me and some shit just joined the mile high club i didn't want anybody to know what i did in there i'm sorry i'm really sorry because yeah that is a nightmare to imagine happening yeah of course and then think about if one of the think about you're like so stressed out that you're having to shit and then you're you're look so fucked up that the that the steward that

person comes out and says like you look insane like that's what the person the person working on the plane said you look insane like can we help you like they they moved him beside the toilet yeah yeah yeah they moved me they were being super nice she just said you know you you look nuts man like not doing well are you oh my god yeah it was embarrassing it was not cool just i'm sorry he just destroyed the bath i did do that too i did do that. You look insane. Yeah. I just got back from a three-month trip to Nepal, and I need some employment.

Looking at working at the container store. Anyway, how can I clean out my system in a timely manner, and how long will it take? Well, I was going to tell you, the guy that got me the job at the roofing place, he started before I did. And what he did was, I think I was clean at that time. I think I was like not smoking weed at that time, but it might've even been like my wife or my sister. He had us pee in a cup and then he poured the pee in a condom and then drove, you know know roped it off like a balloon and then drove

to the place with the condom in his pants between his legs yeah and then when he got there he he he pissed clean they fucking hired him but i just always think about a condom driving in your car the condom full of piss between your legs seems horrible yeah and then and then he just like he just like cut the little end of it and then i don't know how i think you know i i i'm not sure because they don't need all the wheat all the uh piss they only need a little bit of piss i think what you would want to do if you really like if they were watching you because i know you know i won't watch if you're doing no the really strict the really strict places watch you piss into the cup so if that's the case but yeah if that was the case he could still do it he'd just get a little nail and poke the end and then you can make it look like he's being yeah jobs piss test for probation a lot of times

they'll watch you but for employment they're just kind of like going to bathroom, fill it up to this amount and then leave. Because I've seen so many. I've been friends with so many guys. I was friends with this one guy that was about to get a job. This was probably not good for him getting hired or anything. He's about to get a job and he needs to pass a drug test. And we're smoking weed all the fucking time when we're teenagers and uh so we're like well it you know no internet and we're like well you gotta piss all the weed

out you know so he was like uh he was drinking so what we would do is he would drink a shitload of orange juice that day just like a lot of it so he had to pee all the time and then he drank a bunch of vinegar because he thought that like would clean your insides out because you know like apple cider vinegar oh no vinegar white vinegar because white vinegar to clean you know what i mean yeah so he kind of felt like that would clean all the weed out and then he got there and his big fucking plan after that was to keep pretending he didn't have to pee and he brought me with him to his drug test as just like somebody to hang out with him oh that's here let's here's my fucking stoner friend which again chris you have to see what this guy looked

like when he was younger i mean he just it was the most suspicious looking guy ever like here's yeah no i i brought my fucking ne'er-do-well stoner friend to my fucking drug test just to hang out it's such a red flag it was so weird i think now when i think about it like the the receptionist and stuff had to think that was kind of weird that's really funny yeah uh this guy first answer is uh very useless he goes don't work at a job that invades your personal privacy and conducts conducts unreasonable search and seizure of bodily fluids stand up for your rights so that's a freeman of the land that's the kind of guy that guy later this week will be screaming in a courtroom that they have no right to detain

him as i have a right to be high as fuck at a job. I have a right to not have to give you my piss. Listen, fair enough. That's fair. But I think some people, maybe they don't have an option and they need to get a job. Yeah. They're trying to get hired. Places like this says, I had this same issue a few months ago. I started drinking more water and I started taking niacin.

You can buy it at any store that sells vitamins. I got mine at Harris Teeter, if that helps. Just be careful because niacin flush can be a bitch. I got it a couple of times pretty bad. Anyways, I dropped weed for a month and took niacin and I passed. Now I need to read this from answers.com no niacin does not clean drugs any drug out of your system and massive doses of niacin can be toxic in extreme cases it could result in liver failure at the very least it will be extremely unpleasant so

you're saying that wasn't good advice you're saying that that guy's advice might actually cause you to die yeah hunter s thompson over here well all i did was take some niacin like all the time take a lot of nice just take as much as you can take different more dangerous drugs yeah and it says niacin flush can be a bitch so he's had some rough yeah he's had the issues associated with it you know he's dealt with he has a name for it that he's come up with two things i need right now a job and tons of niacin at the drug test place hold on i gotta take my niacin niacin doesn't count hey guys that's what he says i remember also like at one point saying like why don't you say you ate a poppy seed muffin that was another big plan that was for heroin right oh my god for any drug we didn't know it

was you didn't realize it was only for opiates yeah we thought they were saying it was for drugs and we're like hey you ate a poppy seed bagel then they can't get you you know i love all the idea of all these guys being like busted in a crack house with like poppy seed bagel crumbs being let out by cops now here's my coffee shop brown bags blowing across the shitty floor now here is what i did on the very last job i had uh i ordered a bottle of synthetic urine online and i kept it with a heating pad and thermometer set ready to go this is another person answering yeah and i did this too i actually bought the the synthetic piss works holy fuck and it is asked how do you execute your plan and the guy lays it out for us so we have the whole sort of uh way to do it goes one find a reputable online retailer

now that's hard when you're buying piss piss yeah yeah it's not like it's not like when you're buying a bed or whatever there's less information out there on who's reputable i feel like i need a reputable piss manufacturer i need somebody to sell me fake piss weird but i'm looking for good piss yeah it's harder to come by than you'd think microwave the product for 10 to 15 seconds i'm low some come with a heat pad so don't i'm i'm talking the pads you use in your gloves when it's cold as fuck outside rubber band one or two of these pads to the bottle it will be good to go for about eight hours or so keep it between 90 and 100 degrees and you're good to go compression shorts will

hold it right in the area between your asshole and your balls now what happens what happens if your compression shorts oh shut up if the hole rips out of the compression shorts because that's another thing that happened to brian on the way to alaska on the plane chris is he ripped he's he was just getting so sweaty that he ripped in the hole like a hole and in his compression shorts right i'm sorry i did my balls were sweaty because it can happen sometimes and on the plane i felt like i was going crazy so i went in the bathroom and just ripped the whole crotch out of them and how funny how funny would it be i'm sorry how funny would it be if you went to the piss test place and your fake piss condom started breaking in your shorts? And then you're just like, I'm starting to pee right now.

May I please have the container? I'm sorry. I got so excited for this that I just can't wait any longer. I'm starting to pee really fast right now. I didn't time this well i'm sorry well here's a good go to the bathroom is the next one he goes for any employment related drug test i've never i've ever been to they don't watch or even come in the room when you get in pull out the bottle and pour it into the specimen jar i usually actually piss while i do this just in case they're listening or something smart which is go home and smoke some herb get job and he says if random

tests are a possibility buy another test and keep it in your glove compartment with everything you need so that's how you do it but then another guy had a maybe simpler Ansel. Ansel. Ansel. Ansel. Yeah. There's no flubs. That's not as a flop. Pickle juice and cranberry juice is what this guy says, which I can guarantee don't work. Do what with those?

Drink them. Just drink those and then you and then you're fine he's a what is it pickle juice and cranberry juice oh it's a it sounds i think this guy might be playing a prank yeah you know try just getting stoners to drink nasty shit yeah i gotta say this is the saddest section of the podcast yeah yeah it's funny i mean this person says niacin always worked for me it's a natural vitamin supplement and if you take one a day or two at your caution it can sometimes make you rashy and red because it expands your blood vessels or something or something or something or it expands your blood vessels or something.

But just take a bunch of it every day. This is, by the way, the stuff we already found out can kill you. It can make you die from taking it. And you're getting rashes. And you're getting rashes. And it's because of something or rather, I don't know. I didn't look into it. I just kept taking this stuff.

Reminds you of Tom injecting that shit into his dick. Yeah, we can't get into Tom. Tom is a guy we know. He's a sex guy. He's part of Tom's trips, but that's run by another guy named Tom. Oh, like the needles that give you a boner for like porn? Yeah, I guess. but he just got it from some random guy that he just met and he didn't know what was in the needle and he just stuck

it into his dick and then anyway we've been talking about this this story too much lately on the pod well it's quite exciting it is you'd love to hear the story it's crazy so the answer the so the op the original poster does answer this about expand your blood vessels or something that cleans all the thc out um and he replies how many and how long would you take niacin so well it depends how are you do you like waking up every morning how how interesting ledger took niacin yeah i mean it depends if you want to if you're looking to continue living i would say you want to keep it to a minimum it's so funny reading that explanation and all that stuff and then the guy going well i mean how much like asking like the person's a doctor how much should i take and that person literally said or something in theirs that's

the thing about like being too hardcore chronic is that yeah others like stoners just like you become your doctor like you say you're like taking advice from these people who are completely out of it and you know you're out of it too yeah you know what i mean like you know who you are but you think there's a because i i you know sometimes when we're younger you know you'd hang out with people that do like you'd hang out with people to get fucked up and like uh you decide one of them is a genius i had one uh he never left his house and you his parents just let him smoke bongs in his bedroom so we would all go over to his bedroom watch monday night raw and uh smoke bongs all night and uh we all thought this guy was like the smartest guy in the world and i I got to tell you, he was not that smart.

But he was just smarter than that. And let me tell you, everyone willing to be smarter. If you're saying, oh, my group didn't have that smart guy. Guess what? It was you, dumb fuck. was you dumb fuck but when you're young too like you get smarts mixed up with like just a confident charming person yeah that's true somebody who just speaks confidently yeah i had friends that i knew were probably most likely full of shit but their attitude still calmed me down yeah yeah i'm the same way i i was just like i had friends that like

i would just any there there was like two or three guys that would just like they were willing to sort of have an opinion on everything and they were willing to say that they knew stuff and you would kind of believe them i the guy dropped out of school in like ninth grade and we're like if he stayed in school i mean he would have made it really high in college. Damn. Because we didn't. He wouldn't have. He was supposed to drop out.

He never, ever, ever left his house and lived with his parents. And we thought he was just we thought he was a fucking genius. The person does come back and answer them and says when i took them i took one when i woke up and went one before i went to bed and i took them while i was smoking and then when my drug test was coming up i would stop smoking for like three days and keep taking the niacin so the answer is nice so much and what's that person's name that uh it's deleted it's one of those ones where it's deleted oh oh because they're you're not allowed to have an account anymore after you die yeah so the niacin for those listening you know don't do the niacin i think niacin has their name

removed from the site anything just just consult a physician if you're gonna make any kind of you know at all they're not gonna be honest with they'll say stop smoking weed yes get your friend's advice but then get someone else's advice like that you it's just like you don't want to hear the doctor say stop smoking weed yeah that's all it is no no no no i don't want to hear that how about niacin i'll fucking take a bunch of niacin yeah like you want to you want a doctor who will say like man protect your rights you shouldn't have to give your job piss so you want your doctor to be like in a fucking trailer, like in the middle of the desert, like nowhere near anybody else. And you want him to be noticeably not connected to reality.

Yeah. You want him to be wearing a bone necklace. White guy with dreads. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Rollerblades always on his feet. Yeah. Even though there's no roads around.

Yeah, he just walks through the desert on rollerblades. You walk out. I remember somebody told me in LA, like when they went to LA, I don't remember where it was, but it might have been on Facebook or something. But a person told me that they went to their appointment. This is like 2008 or something like that. appointment um this is like 2008 or something like that this person went to their appointment for medical marijuana and there were like three guys outside uh doing hacky sack and uh they walked in and then one of the hacky sack guys just walked in behind him was like yeah that's your back hurt buddy those guys i love i you know what we're gonna get out of here now i love the doctors who just go into uh

weed doctor because i go to a weed doctor every year and say like they're like how's your ptsd going and i'm like oh it's worse than ever you know i gotta get this weed it's well i've been watching more movies about v, so I feel fucked. Is there ever sort of a discussion surrounding like, hey, if it's getting worse, does that mean that maybe this medicine's not necessarily helping? I'll try to move you up to purple Urkel. Hey, listen, man. I was thinking the weed that you're smoking right now isn't helping you want to try a little something called gary payton get that dick card supposed to really be

nice but uh the doctor i go to if they don't write you a card they refund your money i mean it's pretty much a sure thing when you when you do it nobody i've never heard of somebody getting turned down it's a very easy situation to get through but uh that is the weed guys episode they're gonna be sick custom grow 420 on the stream sometime we'll have to do that have you ever seen that no he takes a one grand dad graham dab and it fucks him up oh i can't listen i can't i know we're leaving but yeah i can't take him again smoke a lot of weed have smoked a lot of weed i took a dab once at a comedy show that i was doing at like one of those weed smoke lounges and was that here in toronto was that my greatest show no it wasn't it was in

vancouver it was a vancouver one but i just i got so fucked i was like didn't feel like i was high on weed really you know like i was just like i was like felt like i was high on a different drug altogether yeah i did that with keith one time i didn't know it was so much stronger i scraped it from my grinder and just dumped it all in and, uh, took like two hits of it. And then I remember all I remember from that night is that I was in my bedroom with the lights out the TV on 2020 and I was, or no PBS. Cause it was the only thing that like operated on a calming level for me.

And I took my shirt off and just paced back and forth until I felt normal again. Holy shit. That's beautiful. It's crazy. Well, that's the show. Chris, tell people where to find you. I usually am more like an Instagram guy, at ChrisLockFun.

And, yeah. I got a podcast called Evil Men with my friends James and Mike. It's very funny. I've been on it before yeah chris you were on it with the uh that doctor killer doctor yeah the one that did that series with joshua jackson that was sick it's a great podcast you should check it out and thanks are you gonna plug it are you gonna plug the film you watched a film last night right i watched i watched this is the first for me is that i watched a film from my friend chris he's a star of it somebody else wrote it and directed it jeremy larder is the guy's name yeah right jeremy larder so this is it's a film from

pei which is like kind of a very distinct cultural place it's what most americans think of canadian culture like you know is those like hey what's it you know like that kind of like some weird sort of look yeah the shire chris chris plays uh um uh private eye it's called who's your father y-e-r you can um rent it on youtube i'm telling you it's genuinely a funny fucking movie it's a good movie it's well done it has really really good reviews and it's very very rare for a canadian movie it's a good movie it's well done it has really really good reviews and it's very very rare for a canadian movie to be actually good in this way an independent movie like this so yeah check it out and chris is fucking great in it thank you thank you yes i'm

very proud and also lucky to get that opportunity in canada and be part of that small echelon of like, it's actually good. Yeah. Yeah. I laughed out loud a number of times, like real actual laugh out loud. Amazing. Oh, I love that.

I could reviews too. Yeah. On IMDB. Yeah, dude. Um, we, yeah,

it's cool on patrion.com slash murder X, Brian. There is all this stuff, you know, kind of, we do, we do a weekly show called guys plus usually, or gut fell or gut shot where we watch gut failed,

but, uh, it's, it's on murder X, Brian, Patreon sign up. There's so many episodes of guys plus along with shocked over. Holy boys,

all that stuff that I've done is all there. And we love you and sunday night eight o'clock twitch.tv slash murder x buying you can learn about the sex toms so that's the show dang yeah