Guys: With Bryan Quinby - Guys: Episode 56 - Beer Guys with Pendejo Time
Episode Date: March 5, 2024We had https://twitter.com/jakebrodes and https://twitter.com/len0killer from Pendejo Time https://www.patreon.com/pendejotime on to talk about Beer Guys. Do they like to drink alone? Does making beer... smell? Are the bottles that they put Sam Adams in made out of metal? Then we played a GAME. That's right, A GAME!!! There is much more Chris at twitter.com/thecjs and of course https://www.patreon.com/notevenashow And for more Guys content, streams and SHOCKTOBER: a deep dive into shock jocks you can click patreon.com/murderxbryan twitter.com/murderxbryan and twitch.tv/murderxbryan
Transcript
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Welcome to Guys, a podcast about guys.
I am Brian, Mr. Macro Brew, my co-host, Chris James. What's up,
Mr. Macro Brew? Oh, you said it like it sounds like you said it a second time,
like it didn't hit the first time. It didn't feel as much like an insult the first time.
I mean, I guess it's like the opposite of a micro brew, right? That's what I'm
that's what I'm into is micro brews.
Oh, wait, that's good?
Sure, yeah.
I'm into micro brews.
I'm crazy about them.
I had no idea, so I did not take that as an insult at all.
But yeah, I mean, I guess I don't drink beer at all.
But when I did.
You're a Budweiser guy.
He's into Budweiser.
Just don't listen.
Don't unbelieve me.
I see him drinking all the time before we record the show.
I know you recently, sort of recently, you you stopped drinking bud light but that's like a different
thing yeah yeah even get into that well this week we have some guys that i've been wanting to get on
for the whole year uh they have me on their show to promote guys before there was even an episode
we got thomas and jake from pendejo time hey guys hello thank you
for having us thanks let me I gotta start this because I do know Chris isn't a drinker uh we
actually have a deal that when we then when we hang out we're gonna drink this really gross beer
that uh we learned about in like episode five or something called real ale yeah you guys probably
have heard cast ale real ale yes like it's british guys who are like
what if beer was like warm and flat all the time it's like uh there's a term for there's another
one that's like it called barley wine it's just like super high abv like flat beer which sounds
like piss like it sounds by all accounts sounds like the like it's all the the worst parts of beer
like you know the stuff you're trying to avoid in drinking beer and they're like that's what we're
trying to do but they're also i think they're like they're kind of classic men you know what
i mean they kind of like wish that the world was that way in a lot of ways you know yeah yeah i
gotta ask i'll start with thomas first are you a beer guy? Not in the insult way.
Do you drink beer and do you care that much about it?
I enjoy it.
I wouldn't consider myself somebody who knows a lot about it.
I've had a decent amount of it in my day, but it was mostly really cheap beer.
of it in my day but i it was mostly like really cheap beer right in the past past year or so i've like i've tried a few beers that were more expensive by more expensive i mean like more
than five dollars at a bar and i've liked them but i still like like when i buy beer i get like
budweiser or whatever like i'm i'm a i'm a big brand guy for them oh okay hey
brian why don't you say insult to him i like thomas he's good um uh i will say that like uh
i've recorded with you guys a couple of times and uh i did not think that you guys would be
super uh into like ipas and stuff when i asked you to come on i didn't get that vibe
jake are you a beer guy dude what's funny is i i worked in a lot of like beer gardens when i moved
to austin in like 2012 when a lot of this shit was really popping off oh yeah like like the twirly
mustache like type guys you know what i mean and uh so in order to like work
there you have to learn about it and try all of these and you have to interact with these guys
are your bosses and they really want you to care about it and so big i got into a couple of the
like like super like hoppy like i liked ipas um but i never first of all, I like to drink a lot of weak beers over the course of a 12-hour period.
So I'm a Miller High Life guy.
That's just – it's been my go-to forever, but they would – you couldn't – when I worked at this one place, a guy would be like, yeah, it's bitter.
It's got a little bit of tangerine zest
it's got you know it's very it's very um alcohol forward and then people would ask me like hey man
i just want a beer and i would be like just get a bud white don't get anything with this fucking
like top hat wearing psycho it's like like the guys i was seeing on here over i couldn't find
a really good one so we're not
gonna have one but there is this beer called sam adams utopia it costs almost 400 a bottle
and it's i've heard of it i've heard of it only because bill the guy from um anthony kumia's
network he's like he's like with the main morning host on anthony kumi's network and he was so broke that
he was trying to sell one of them online awesome and then some other some other like troll tricked
him into like selling it like meeting him and some place that had a camera that they could see
him meeting him so that i know of that beer specifically that it's like one that people will
like it commands a large amount online you can
like resell it for a lot 200 bucks is what is retail i believe from what i had read and i was
reading people drinking this sam adams utopia i was like reading what they were saying and none
of them like said it was good they're like it tastes kind of like brian sounds like you don't
get it yeah you're looking for a beer that's
like good yeah that's like a pretty fucking standard way of looking at it but no it's just
it's not about it being good it's about it um uh someone else want to jump in here help you
yeah really big bottle oh the bottle that's big and also it's probably comes in like a cool bottle
i'll show you guys a picture of the bottle here in
a second but i want to actually read this thing that that came up on the subreddit that i don't
know why this made me feel so great but uh i gotta find them here i did it's one of the last things i
i bought oh okay psa you bought You bought? Our beer. Our beer.
This is from them. And it's PSA. Sam Adams
Utopia is not a metal bottle.
My wife bought it for me for
Christmas. As I was unwrapping it,
I dropped the box. It's a clay bottle.
Entire thing shattered into a hundred
pieces with $200
worth of beer all
over the floor now. So if you get
one, be gentle.
That's humiliating. And then
your poor wife has gone to all this
trouble to get it and everything
like that. And just your clumsy
ass fucking... I feel like
it's better to be married to
the kind of
mean alcoholic guy that drinks
Coors. You know what I mean? At least you know
where you stand with him. He's not going you either he's not gonna bother you he'll go in his garage
and drink 24 beers exactly you can find cores at walmart like he'll drink it at any temperature
too out of anything he'll drink absolutely you know it doesn't matter i think there's it has
its own problems that come along with that type of relationship that are sort of different
but yeah i think it's definitely from what we've learned through guys is yeah it's tough to
be married to somebody who's really into something and you're not that into it it's hard because it
can start to dominate your life as well well i think like like there was a when i was working at this
this one specific beer garden i'm thinking right now i was on the water it wasn't like on lake
austin or whatever and uh there were terms you had to learn you had to know what they mean so
like we would take a server test like if you work on a restaurant oh yeah you know and one of the
terms i hated it i still hate it i hate to say it it's called hop head and it's a guy who only drinks ipas and uh and that that sucks yeah and so and because you know the hops are what make it bitter whatever
and and i did i had acquired a taste for these things because i worked there for so long and
would get them for free and i went to a different bar um owned by the same company or the same
restaurateur or whatever and i was like hey man can i just get like a 512 like austin like ip or whatever and the guy looks at me he's got the mustache
he's got the fucking cocktail maker like leather apron for a butcher you don't need it you're
mixing alcohol yeah and he's like oh a fellow hop head oh yeah and i was like, I have a bomb vest on. Yeah, man.
That sucks when somebody's like, oh, you're like me.
And you're like, oh, fuck.
Oh, my God.
That's how I'm like.
Yeah.
I was like, no, I just liked, man.
Look, it's like 9% alcohol.
I got work in two hours.
Like, I need, you know, I got shit.
You know, Chris, I wanted to address before we get too into this. I didn't know my
camera was going to be on.
This was given to me as a joke
by my friend when I got off probation.
I didn't want you to think that.
As soon as I started drinking coffee, I just
saw people's faces go. Just for everyone who's listening,
he's got, I guess,
I mean, it looks like just your
normal sort of American flag.
I just wanted to be upfront about it it i actually use a corn mug yeah i i follow you online and like i've seen your posts and stuff
so like i assumed that it was kind of like a goof but it would have been funny if i as soon as i
take a sip i just i just start grimacing i'm just yeah i do want to say that this guy who dropped his 200 beer if you feel sorry for him i just
want you to know that he posted this on reddit twitter facebook and he was adding sam adams
trying to get a new freebie the thing about it is that's also funny is that most beer in bottles
is not in a metal bottle oh you would assume it's not you
would think it would be glass i didn't even drop that also breaks right clumsy fuck just clearly
dropped i've never a fragile item and it was like oh that they don't make fucking titanium beer
bottles anymore oh i see so this expensive beer and you're putting it in a breakable bottle oh
okay sure here's the bottle for everybody for you guys to see i'll make it and you're putting it in a breakable bottle oh okay sure here's the
bottle for everybody for you guys to see i'll make it the uh oh okay it does look kind of metallic
i don't you shouldn't drop it but you should still i would definitely not i would definitely
not drop it still yeah i would take would take the chance dude if i spend five hundred dollars
on a beer i want to get fucked up there's no way that that's doing the job there's it does but they all say you can only really drink a couple of drinks of it before it's like it's
just too much it's like uh they're like oh it's more like a drinking uh a sipping sherry it's
like get the fuck out of here so it's bad yes yeah i can't drink a lot of it the only reason
i can't drink a lot of something is either it has too much alcohol in it or it's really bad.
Right.
Yeah.
It's 28%.
Okay.
But even then.
Yeah, even then, man.
Because, I mean, I don't drink a lot, but I used to drink stuff.
I don't want to fucking brag to you guys, but I used to drink stuff more than 28%.
Damn near 40% some of the stuff I was drinking on.
percent damn near 40 some of the stuff i was drinking on well it's like it it's one of those things that you're like you're like okay i this is the thing that i'm into and some guys are into
carpentry or like making cars go fast or hunting guitars guitars some audio files some people are really into lego some people are no into sex clubs
you get to be like uh your buddy's like oh did you get that uh did you get that like
900 year old beer and you're like yeah dude the old lady got it for me but i checked it out i
threw it on the fucking ground and it broke like like your moment the thing like when a guy finally
gets his engine running or he gets that
fucking les paul he's always wanted you get it and then it just your dream shatters into a billion
fucking pieces on the ground well that was something we found on the bourbon guys episode
was that we were able to search for pappy van winkle which is the top level shit and there
were so many bad reviews and those made me immeasurably happy more than a guy spent thousands of dollars
on it took a drink and said this stuff tastes like shit well dude it's the best type of so like
bourbon cigars and and beer are among the types of things that like if you can market something
towards the type of like um like a guy who still has the a 12 year old's idea of what a cool man
is you know like if you can market something to them you can be like oh this this beer is
500 because it's for gentlemen yeah that's what i mean pappy that's what they've they've done it
like done such a great job yeah just sort of making it this i mean and then yeah all those
people online who are so obsessed with it they're the ones that prop it up and make it so expensive obviously you do the legwork for them
the the rest of the legwork for the marketing company that the brewery hired or whatever yeah
yeah well now good old spence replies and he goes my uncle used to run the restaurant at a weston
hotel before he died spelled wrong by the way that's a pretty big but he spelled weston wrong so it
could not be a lesson but he goes he told me one day the bartender knocked a bottle of louis the
13th on the ground and it shattered and a guy replies basically calling this dude a liar
and he goes that's possible but she must have had a concrete floor some bad luck the louis
bottles are pretty damn durable oh that's sweet that's a person's calling
him out like yeah right it broke like this person's like not saying that like i doubt that
you had the louis bottle they're basically saying like i've dropped one before it's hard to break it
he's just saying yeah he's you're a lot you're lying actually you're telling a story that is a
lie to everybody but uh the dude goes they're crystal and then the guy
responds and goes that they are hell i even went through their training program a few years back
still they're pretty solid so now the guy that's telling the lie is like going back on it now he's
like oh they're pretty good you start tossing around the ground i'd be a little surprised to
see one actually shatter i'd expect more chipping spilling of cognac all over the place and a decent dent in the floor.
I feel for the tender that had to break the news regardless.
And he goes, so he's saying it would have to be like thrown down.
So the guy that's lying replies and goes, it was on the very top shelf.
We shouldn't have doubted him to be honest some of the shelves
are so fucking high and then it could fall off there and break easy uh the uh uh i worked at a
like this like cocktail joint for a while and they had all their top shelf like you know you're super
expensive like 200 300 a shot like whiskeys up there and my manager i was a he's a friend of
mine he's like a bourbon
guy like you guys are talking about and there was a guy that would come in and order like a
balvenie like 15 year which is like this insane scotch or whatever it's like a hundred dollars
a shot hundred dollars shot and he would mix it with diet coke i love it yeah he was my favorite
people drink poppy and they have it like jello shooters yes that's the best it made my manager
really it really mad but
there was like something in my head where i was like i kind of like this guy yeah yeah because
you're not like if you're not a whiskey guy that's awesome to like you know to us it's like very funny
obviously because yeah that's uh yeah it makes somebody like that really angry for no reason
i'm a big fan of this guy choco bops that replies to this and he goes i
found this post just now when i did a search for sam adams utopia i found the taste seriously
underwhelming maybe this helps you feel better you probably got the best of it from the aroma
when it was dropped to be honest the beer itself has a funky aftertaste and i still have three
quarters a bottle that i'm hoping will improve in a couple days.
So he just searched.
Buddy, take your three-quarter bottle, smash it on the ground, and just sniff it.
It sounds like that's your best bet.
I like that he searched Sam Adams Utopia so he could tell somebody it sucks.
Well, also the idea that it's going to age and decant over the course of two days.
Like, maybe it'll taste better on Friday.
I know it's fucking Wednesday.
This shit tastes bad.
Yeah, give it a little time yeah i do like that they were like trying to help each other
out but yeah i looked into some home brewers i don't know i can't i can't imagine anybody on
this call has done home brewing well no yeah no i haven't but like when we were younger it was a
big thing like my brother did it and i had friends who did it you know just like oh we get cheap beer this way yeah like make a bunch of fucking beer and i remember
they would be like oh this is like a heineken fucking you know what i mean you have like things
that you could make but it never tasted anything like what they were trying to but you could get
great fucking value out of it yeah no i don't mind home brewing i don't think of it as like the same
as you know i think of it like a lot of people are home brewing i don't think of it as like the same as you know
i think of it like a lot of people are just people who are poor do it to drink you know
i don't know i don't think so that you don't think the prices of this stuff is crazy is it okay
because i just don't maybe it's not the case anymore but when i was younger definitely like
you could home brew you could do a bunch you would go to a place like brew your own beer or whatever
and you'd go there you could brew tons and tons of it for like a very low amount of money i hate to tell you what the beer guys
would think about you for doing oh they that would that wouldn't be good like a kit don't buy a kit
you know you gotta learn how to do it yeah, that is actually a good point. For example, if I was doing Lego, I would want to learn how to make my own mock builds, MOC builds.
Do you guys do Lego at all?
You guys know anything about Lego?
I have nephews.
Yeah.
Not different Legos.
Exactly.
We're talking about a different Lego.
I promise you the exact same ones.
18 and up.
My point being that some people take it and they
just build a set and they're like here's how to make it and it tells you all the instructions
whereas creative people like myself dr mcbrick we would go and do our own mocs like our our own
creations or whatever so it's a similar sort of thing you know you gotta learn how to do it
well let's check in with the home brewingrewing forum. Homebrew talk.
Where a mead rat says, why do people quit brewing?
I mean, some of them liver stuff, maybe liver stuff sometimes, like, you know, issues or whatever.
Grandpa, why'd you stop drinking?
Grandpa's in the hospital.
I liked it when you drank better dad this is like when i went to rehab and there was one day i was there for three weeks and i was outpatient one day all three of those
weeks i had to bring somebody with me right like a friend or somebody who had been affected by my
you know painkiller addiction first week first week i bring
my wife and they're like how did it affect you and she was like i don't i mean not really that much
that's a day one hold it down type lady you know hey look honestly he's pretty funny when he's on
that shit she has you guys have no i don't know if he
like brian and his wife have known each other their entire lives yeah yeah so yeah she was
like it doesn't bother me really and you know he seemed like he was having fun i'm here for him
brian's wife is really the coolest you hear about what she puts up with with brian just like
sulking around because he like has to wear sleeves
when he goes outside or something like it's just so the next week i bring my buddy uh rory who's
a friend of mine and they're like let's draw a picture of how brian made you feel when he was
on the drugs and rory drew a picture of me looking like a giraffe and the lady was like so
what what does that say to you and he was like I think he's like a cool giraffe
Rory's just like was he doing it as a goof was he like goofing he didn't care
that's nobody care about much about it where were you
like why did you go to were you like it was a money thing i was spending like 400 a week but
i mean did you you decided to go to rehab or was it court ordered or what okay no nobody told me i
had to go to re i decided to go to rehab because i had a meltdown in a guy's house at the cable
company because my pill dealer oh buddy could i sorry to stop the epic
can we hear a little bit about you having a meltdown inside a client's house because you
couldn't get a hold of your pill dealer well he was such a pain in the ass like you get up in the
morning i hey if you got you got some pain in your ass i got a guy for you that can help you
you get up in the morning and you call him and you'd be like meet me at one you get to the place
at one i can't get there until three you leave and you're in your work van and you're in a day
of work you have to get all this done in between jobs and you guys know they just change the time
over and over and over this is what's happening you're telling me what i'm waiting for my fucking
cable guy to show up in that window he's waiting for his build trying to get some oxys like yeah that's what i
was doing i'll give him a little bit more leeway if that's the case fair enough i get to this
fucking guy i i'm like i'm gonna pick it up before i go to this guy's house and do the cable so i go
to where i'm meeting and he's like i can't make it
yet you need to give me like two more hours i get to this guy's house and i just can't i can't work
on the cable at all like i just can't do it i can't focus on anything i'm like i'm not gonna
be able to get fucking pills today if i don't get out of this yeah the guy was home i was walking
up and down the steps and out of my van and And I just kept walking back and forth from his basement to my van, from his basement to my van, and not doing any work.
And I don't even remember how I got out of his house.
I just – I think he was like, this guy seems distressed.
I'm just going to let him go.
So then – so did you get totally clean at that point?
It was after that, that i was i was
clean for like two years and i started doing weed again and then now i'm just like whatever i do
whatever i want so i mean i mean it's mostly clean but when he says that he like doesn't do drugs and
stuff i don't know why he said it no i look i have if i can get them, I do them. I just don't, you have to, you know, as a family man, sometimes the Lord calls you, you know,
look, I, I look, I completely understand the Batman symbol in the,
in the sky. Yeah.
Sometimes you gotta do drugs, man. No, I'll do drugs.
Although I have had the same ketamine since 2020.
So I don't think I'm that much of a druggie, but this guy goes,
I just answered this question as to, will you ever quit brewing as a brewer? I wonder why my thoughts
are some of us make it too complicated. We make it too expensive. People do this for the wrong
reasons. When somebody talks to me about brewing, I asked them why they don't want to brew for me.
It's the recipe. I love to cook.
I love to sit down with a real chef and discuss recipes to make real beer at six to seven hours of being attentive and making notes on what you're doing.
So this guy is he's asking why you would quit brewing.
First guy says people quit home brewing. So he's joking.
That's some that is humor on the, like, sometimes they'll do humor on the boards,
and you have to be able to pick it out.
They're kind of goofing with each other.
Like, is that even a thing?
Oh.
Here's a bunch of guys with jaundice sending, like, smirk faces.
The next one says, the tree fell in the woods,
and now we're asking if it made a sound
yeah so that's like yes yeah that's i guess like that one doesn't really hit for me but then our
op comes back and goes so i guess neither of you has an opinion so he's mad now that's another
thing that has that happens a lot too is like somebody who's and this person you could tell
is very passionate about it they're like i love seven hours of sitting there with a recipe and and then just getting a bunch of fucking yahoos
and the replies like goofing off and he's like buddy i'm i want some fucking answers it's it's
funny that like the i always felt the home brewers like the guys who like the guys who make it like
their suburban dad hobby and they spend a ton of money on it like you're gentrifying
moonshining like you're making it like you this is something that like guys in the foothills of
Appalachia did because their meth wasn't moving like they thought like this is and you're like
well I bought a copper still and it costs and it and and it added to the flavor in this way
and they're having like art like forum arguments about it when you're just making you're making a
rich guy hobby out of like a poor man's yeah well it's like i mean the same thing i was saying like
the people i knew used to do it because they were poor they would do it you know they would make it
because they're poor and now these rich people have come along and taken it over and made it
shitty and it's funny because like i've read a ton of homebrew stuff over the past two days.
A lot of them are really bad at making beer.
It generally tastes pretty bad.
I've seen people say, why does my homebrew smell like rotten eggs?
Then the other big problem, it doesn't get me drunk.
They help fuck up and all the alcohol is gone.
Just making non-alcoholic beer for like –
Just drinking egg fart juice that doesn't make you fucking –
Dude, spending fucking three weeks and like three grand to make O'Doul's in your garage is like so badass.
It tastes like absolute shit.
Yeah.
Hey, this is my new beer, guys.
I've been working on it for like a month. I know guys been waiting on it um it's called dog shit it doesn't get you fucked up
and it cost me six grand it doesn't get you fucked at all no it literally like has it has the same
alcohol content as welch's grape juice buddy if you are drunk if you are drunk can you drink this you will sober up yeah i made anti-beer like i fucking made like a a different type of shit completely
we did get a real answer from home brewer 99 who has a very funny avatar it says save water
drink beer nice you guys have heard that i think the number one reason for quit brewing goes hand in hand with a spouse and sick and tired.
Hell yeah.
All ladies said I had to quit making non-alcoholic shit juice in the garage.
My wife was fucking getting mad at me just because our garage smelled like rotten eggs.
I like the guy that says rotten eggs and then
the people uh will correct them and be like it's sulfur it's actually yeah it's so that smells like
rotten eggs it's a thing that they put into um like whatever the stink bombs or whatever yes
and i do think this guy doesn't actually have his priority straight. Because first he goes, it's a spouse sick and tired of their hobby, right?
So he's saying it's a spouse that's sick and tired of them having a hobby.
And that's bullshit because, you know,
everybody's got to have a hobby or whatever.
And then the next time he buries the lead,
because the next thing he says is probably the real reason.
Them getting drunk all the time and threatening with a divorce.
And then number two has to not be pleased with their results this probably stems from a lack of drive and a lack of
patience to allow the brew to come into its full potential and uh i kind of really like that because
he says uh listen the only reason somebody wouldn't get divorced over their beer is if they only made bad beer.
Yeah, if you make good beer, you won't get a divorce.
It's funny to talk about beer you're making at your house like a star rookie quarterback.
It's not quite there.
He's facing it.
It's coming down to pop.
It's going to get good.
Yeah, I can feel it.
Honestly, you're trying to explain it to your wife.
I can feel it.
Honestly, you're trying to explain it to your wife.
You think that the good people of Coors had it nailed in the first eight months? Give me a little bit of time, sweetie.
And she just wants a little bit of quality time with her husband.
She wants maybe a hobby that doesn't result in him getting blackout drunk every time he does it.
I don't know.
Well, there's so many of these hobbies, I think.
And I'm sure you guys have seen a lot of this in doing the show.
Guys, I feel like a lot of this stuff is like what I like to call wife escapement fantasy.
Hobbies that exist primarily for men who are in like dead in marriages, but got kids or whatever, or can't leave, whatever the fuck.
And they're like, I i'm gonna get really into making
beer from 2000 bc egypt in my apartment 2024 or you know i'm gonna i'm gonna get into like
bourbon or whatever and it's all just like a way to like escape the nagging wife or whatever
that she doesn't like it like that's important that's why there's so much of this like yeah
that it's critical that she actually hates it because she can't want anything
to do with it because you want to be a waver.
It's going to create this wedge on purpose.
You got to be careful that the wedge
doesn't get a little too big and then it
results in a divorce or whatever.
Then she could take the homebrew kit and the fucking divorce
and you...
Let me read you this one.
Beer Muncher says, I have two other reasons.
Better than Beer Chomper.
Yeah, you don't want a Beer Chomper.
Love it, but can't do it anymore.
Let's face it.
Brewing your own beer lends itself to more drinking.
It's more handy, more tasty.
It's the fruit of our labor, and there is always the next recipe to try.
More drinking for some will result in a downward slide to the point where they hit the old,
my life has got to change stage in life.
Next thing you know, their stuff is on Craigslist.
I have two fermenters, 85 bottles, a capper, and a bunch of other odds and ends just from such an individual.
So, yeah, that's somebody who recognized that they had a pretty serious issue.
That's the people you really want
to because you can get their shit for cheap you know when they're like oh i'm having this
existential crisis i'm you know my all my relationships are getting destroyed and it's
like oh really care to sell me that at half price please that's what you want to jump in
they uh i mean like it's one argument against like the legalization of all drugs because you know
in america there would be like a new masculine culture and guys would be like processing coke in their garage and oh yeah
goofy ass names marketing companies would get behind it you know wives would leave it's like
oh i'm just making my own batch babe you know yeah i look into i i mean every time it sounds
like they might legalize weed for you to grow here, I've never grown a fucking thing in my life.
I never grow a thing of flour or whatever.
I'm like, I got to grow some weed when it becomes legal, because I think I'd be really good.
I think I'd actually be really good at growing weed.
No, I wouldn't.
I would wager that a vast majority of people who drop out of the home brewing never really made a good batch, probably because they were using crappy kit and kilo kits.
It just had a lot of bad.
Yeah, that's.
Yeah.
Don't buy a kit.
Okay.
That's for lazy people and idiots.
Either that or just looking for a quick buzz and weren't really appreciative of good beer.
Well, just looking for a quick buzz.
I mean, I think those people are going to the bar
and they're going to the store.
That's really not...
Fuck, dude. I need a beer. I just got off work.
I need three weeks to make a fucking
shit-ass bastard piss
in my fucking garage.
God damn, my old lady's barking up my fucking tree.
Boss is fucking
chopping up my beer.
Oh, yeah. I'm imagining a guy bringing a girl like home
from dinner or whatever it's like the first date he's like want me to get you a drink and she's
like sure and he just like starts like he like grabs a bunch of like mash or whatever he's in
the garage for the next six hours just comes out his face is like black or whatever he's all right
come back in like six months explaining to her the
process i mean that's i think some of the the reason you'd feel if it's not for being drunk
and just being a maniac you have to feel for the wives having to hear about the process of this
because i read so much shit from homebrewers and the process couldn't be more boring to read and
i'm sure they think it's
like incredibly interested the last guy here said drunkenness i'll quit when i have to save my
marriage or i'll quit being married when i have to save my brewing one or the other hasn't come
up yet so that guy's doing it that's cool his wife is like they're staying out of each other's
hair for yeah for sure yeah yeah that's it's it like a lot of guys haven't haven't had gone to some meetings of my own and haven't and haven't, you know, like I spent some time and, you know, as as not exactly as Brian did, but in a mental health facility and a lot of addicts and struggling with it.
you know it's funny as fuck to like to be like hey look not you know guys sober guys that get sober they need a hobby so they get into aquariums or carpentry you just get into making alcohol
like you know what i mean like like in aa they tell you to like find something to occupy your
mind and your time in your hands and then you're like oh i got it i'm gonna make utopia in my
shitty fucking bathtub and and sell it to my
friends.
Yeah.
So begging me to quit pills and alcohol,
they are literally texting me every day.
And you're like,
no,
I got it.
I'm going to get past it.
Yeah.
Well,
you got to understand guys,
is this beer that I'm brewing?
It's fucking basically doesn't have any alcohol.
Well,
here's a question. they asked on beer advocate
prefer to drink alone
good post here it's always been my preference to drink beer alone i enjoy beer more in a quiet
solitary environment ideally sitting outside on a nice day with a cooler of ice cold
beer so what's your preference drinking alone or drinking socially so i guess i understand what
he's saying a little bit like i think though drinking socially is the way to go right i'm
sharing some good times with friends and it helps to like get you a little bit more
social and a little bit more like talkative or whatever that's drunk probably you know i think
you're way likely to get more drunk alone oh i don't know about that oh i disagree with that
your boys will get you my friends are some motivators i'll tell you oh yeah mine too
when i was younger, it was like –
I've got some boys who push me to the –
they're like David Goggins, but like drinking.
Yeah.
We used to have –
we would go to the United States of America
because you could just get some –
I live in Canada.
What a great country.
We would come –
my friend had a like –
I forget, some sort of like a place that he um like his parents had a summer place and we
would go there and we would have competitions like vomiting competitions where we would just
like be drinking so much of this beer you know and just trying to make ourselves puke and get
the biggest pile so like that's how much they could motivate me to drink. You know, like they could get me drinking like 30 beers at a time or whatever.
Right.
Well,
I like the,
I think the drinking alone thing is,
is I want to,
to his comment,
I understand and really can appreciate after a hard day of work,
you crack open,
maybe you have a few tall boys,
but he's the operative word in that post was cooler.
He had a full cooler.
He is not talking about having a couple of cold ones.
That guy was going on vacation by himself, essentially.
Yes, he was sitting there and getting drunk.
And I think that probably, although I mean, hey, listen, I'll eat a weed edible, I guess, by myself and watch a movie or whatever.
So I can't really judge but i mean i think it is more indicative of
having some type of an addiction to it if you're sitting there by yourself and just
getting completely hammered you know but you know in a way maybe he's training you know
where next time he's out with his boys his tolerance is super high he's slamming beers
he's doing great he's not throwing. He's the life of the party.
And people think, how did this guy become so cool?
He's only 45 and he drinks so much.
How could he handle so many beers at the tender age of 45?
Yeah, that's actually smart, trading it up.
Because, fuck, if you're out with your boys,
I don't know if you guys go out with your boys.
Do you guys go out with your boys ever? We like going out with our boys sometimes. Yeah, yeah. So sometimes you're out with your boys, and if't know if you guys go out with your boys, you guys go out with your boys ever like going out with our boys.
Yeah.
Yeah. So sometimes you're out with your boys and if,
and if they notice,
they look over there like,
Holy fuck.
Thomas is fucking,
you notice Thomas is knocked back about 10,
15 today.
They're fucking going crazy for you.
He's driving home.
That's crazy.
He's awesome.
He's awesome.
I'm getting a ride with him.
Yeah.
I,
yeah, it's the idea of, of being a person who's like,
okay, just from the base level of this current thing we're discussing,
you're going on a forum to ask alcoholics if it's normal to be an alcoholic.
Like, hey, guys, I don't know how your your guys lives are going i got a 24 beers in a
cooler and i'm alone and everybody's like so yeah that was pretty cool to me sounds like your life
is going great big doggie sitting on their porch with their own cooler saying like oh good this guy
does it so yeah totally so much of like my pill addiction got out of control because of that it's like oh i took six
last night but he took like 15 so i mean come on right i don't crush him up he crushes him up that
was such a thing for me for a very long time i don't crush the pills up and snort them so i'm not addicted to them i
just take them all in one that's then i got to crushing them up and pouring them crushing them
up on a paper plate and like wrapping it up and pouring them into my mouth and then i was like
okay now i gotta i'm really addicted to it give me credit for that you didn't try to justify it
as soon as you started crushing them up, you're like,
oh, fuck, I'm doing the crushing them up thing.
Well, Sparty1965 said,
I had a friend who always said,
I only drink on days that end with a Y
and only at parties of one.
Okay, hang on.
Oh, that's bad.
At first, I'm like, yeah, it's like a thing people say,
but only at parties of one.
Dude, that's bad.
Yeah.
I drink alone every day.
It's just what I do.
But not being willing to drink around other people.
You're just so dead set on it.
You're like, no, I got it all figured out.
Just by myself.
It's like masturbating.
Thursday, Friday.
It's every one.
Every single one of them.
Literally every one. I just did the math on it i just drink it damn near any day bub seymour says i'm fine either way not
sure i have a preference although i get frustrated drinking a new craft beer i've never had before
in a party slash social situation outside of a bottle share as i don't fully appreciate the beer i would either
prefer to drink that beer alone or sharing and commenting with one or two of my close beer nerds
oh brutal so i know this is a fucking loser sorry i'm and i apologize because i know there's some
beer this fucking loser is like i can't enjoy this beer because i can't talk about it with people
I can't enjoy this beer because I can't talk about it with people.
This guy's like, I kind of like putting the beer up my ass.
Yeah, no shit.
Like, what the fuck?
You need to have that conversation about it or it's not enjoyable for you.
Like, that's fucked up.
If you have to gust, like, I knew a lot of sommeliers.
Like, I worked with a ton of them and, like wine people and they swear up and fucking down
that you can taste like it's just grapes in there dude and you can and you can taste apricot and
coffee no you're but anyway to to dress up being a lush in like artistic language like oh you know
the i wonder what the brewer was thinking when he went with orange peel. You're drinking 15 beers.
Like, you're not any better than some dude from Alabama who drinks piss water and fucking throws his kids in the pool.
We did wine guys, and we talked about wine guys being.
That is a lot of them are probably beer guys.
Same thing.
But, yeah, a lot of them are just.
Which, fair enough
we all want to like justify our like existence or like right reason we do stuff or whatever
and not feel like uh but yeah there is an awful lot of wine guys who are alcoholics that just
want to feel you know but i i feel like like wine and like bourbon and stuff like that, those are at least, at least have been high class things
to some extent for a while.
But being a beer guy, it's like, why would,
just drink regular beer.
Or like go to the bar and get like an ale or something.
Like they have, every bar has like 40 beers now on tap.
It's like they're good. And the bartender has to now on tap. It's like, they're good.
And the bartender has to talk to you.
It's his job.
Like he has to have a conversation with you about it.
You know,
he's forced to,
he's stuck there.
I was going to,
I was,
when,
when you asked us to do this,
Brian,
I was going to ask you if you heard,
so after the Bud Light deal,
did you,
did you see that that guy made the ultra right conservative American dad beer?
Oh, the guy that made the candy bars, too.
Right. Is it the same guy?
Buddy, I not only do I know that guy, I interviewed him on my show.
The guy who did the no way the anti woke beer.
The ultra right is what it's called yeah and and he did a he did
a uh he did a commercial for it where he was throwing a baseball yes yes um and so i did this
whole interview i have a channel where i trick like conservative people into coming on for
interviews oh okay that's cool yeah so but yeah i had him on and i and the crux of it was that i
was like a baseball guy who was teaching him how to throw because he didn't know how to throw.
And very funny.
He was so fucking mad at me when he realized what it was that I was like taking the piss out of him.
That guy is one of the biggest fucking losers I've ever seen with those guys.
So Dan Crenshaw, a politician from Texas.
And I and I.
Sorry.
Sorry. I also called him and pranked him on his cell phone once.
I'm really sorry to do this, but it was the only one that people got in trouble and got mad at me for because I said, hey, there's something you're missing, Dan, with this whole thing.
And I think I know why you're missing it.
And he was like, why?
And I was like, because it's just to the right of your face.
And that's the only time anyone has ever gotten mad at me and like got mad at me about being ableist or whatever anyway sorry no that's okay they they um i watched
guys who are like like hardcore you know fucking american like pro whatever you know guys realize
what monopolies are in real time because these guys were like oh i'm boycott and bud light i'm gonna drink
michelob and then i would see posts from like guys i went to high school with it were like
i don't know if y'all like they were uncovering secrets of the universe like guys i don't know
this but anheuser-busch they own corona they own michelob they own carbac even your favorite craft
beers owned by anheuser and they all support the trans
movement so what am i supposed to drink and it's like are you gonna quit drinking alcohol because
you're so transphobic like you're gonna quit you're gonna go sober because you like hate you
know gay people so what ended up happening was they were too big of alcoholics to actually stop
and they just kept drinking bud light that's what happened yes they just gave up on the boycott
because they're and now it's like accepted again because That's what happened. And they just gave up on the boycott. And now it's accepted again
because there's so many of those fucking people
just couldn't drink anything other than Bud Light.
Those guys got really...
I saw one dude get pissed off
because he switched to Miller.
And then somebody just...
It was on a YouTube video.
And he posted on Twitter too
with some fucking conservative journalist guy.
I was like, never liked Miller.
But had to make a switch.
You know, blah, blah, blah, blah blah blah and in the replies someone sent a screenshot of the miller cores website home page where the mountains had a fucking rainbow the peaks were all like rainbow
colored and the dude was like like in the replies to his own post like i can't live here anymore
like just completely losing his mind this guy rue, Rue Jean says, I prefer to drink alone,
but not an ice cold beer because I keep the best beers for me.
Wink.
When I go out,
I have to share the beers of people that don't have the same taste as me.
And in bars,
the best beers cost a fortune.
Also,
when you drink with more people,
you need to drink more to keep the party going.
That's an interesting one that this guy knows he might
relax a bit uh as from oz says solo drinker i can go at my own pace do what i want read a book
stare at the clouds write some highfalutin nonsense i'm beer advocate and enjoy the company
of oh my god so this guy has included in his daily routine posting on the beer forums.
He's actually like thinking about how that he's going to drink a beer and post on the forums.
That is a true beer guy.
Does Heifel Luton mean poetry?
I think that's what he's saying.
Yeah.
Or like he's writing literature about his beers, you know.
And the last guy, this is for the big guys heads here.
Dog bite Williams.
He says, I'm a loner in general.
I don't like loud rock music.
Many bars and nightclubs would have a terrible ambiance for me.
What's that guy's name?
This is an inside thing.
We have a famous guy from it's called Tony K who that's this this big gripe is every every place he's ever been
into he gives it one star because the music is too loud rock music it does not matter what he's
at a pizza place he's like it's the best pizza i've ever had in my life one star because they're
playing loud rock music and so yeah uh we got a guy here let's see here uh well let's see let me see what we got here
uh oh here's a question from b walcott on our beer as an avid our beer reader and drinker
i decided i recently received some heat from one of my buddies claiming i drink too much
and my buddy my or my wife or buddy whatever you want to call it i explained to him my passion
and hobby relating to craft beers and logically the consumption of them i explained that on
average week i drink between 10 to 14 beers i usually drink two to three man sodas a night
that's a different that's a way of for a beer guy beer you guys yeah man soda would be a
way it's kind of like a soda but it has it's got alcohol so how many more beers like what number
do we think that's not a lot of beer i was gonna say who's this guy's friend a mormon or am i
fucked up no you're not fucked up that's not. But also, I think he's probably lying about it. His first estimate was two to three.
It was what?
Ten to fourteen.
And then he said two to three at night.
So that's fourteen to twenty one.
Yeah.
So I'm and I'm thinking that a lot of the times people who are addicts or whatever will try to minimize whatever the thing is that they're addicted to.
I usually have like a sip every night.
I have a sip of one beer i have one single sip i'm almost done my first beer this year that i opened up january
1st um but yeah this guy i'm guessing you're probably like if one of his friends is like
who knows him really well is concerned about it or whatever it seems like maybe it you know he
does probably have a problem but who knows who knows yeah yeah i was gonna say it's it's if your friend is like dude you are acting like an absolute
asshole yeah i'd like to course banquet tall boys your friend is like yeah like a deacon at a church
or like you know or you really can't handle your alcohol yeah like yeah like you weigh 10 pounds like you're a bug like you're
i think it's four i would guess it's four to six high test beers per night like four to six
ipas that have a shitload of alcohol in them is what i would guess but then he goes like this he
goes uh he made a fairly articulate rebuttal claiming that I shouldn't be drinking more than a six pack a week.
Citing health jargon.
Okay, hang on.
So I'm sorry.
Alan Dershowitz.
Yeah, I'm kind of back on this guy's side now.
I don't drink at all, but I shouldn't drink more than six beers a week.
That seems low.
Somebody linked the CDC like definition of alcohol abuse
and for men it was like more than four to six a week no it's like it's like 10 to 14 i think
is it i thought it was way less for for women it's like 10 or something like that a week
but like last time i was at the doctor they were like do you drink and i was like yes and they were
like what would you consider
your level? I just said, can you just
put whatever the normal
amount is?
I was like,
it's not like anything crazy, but I don't
want you to yell at me. Just say normal.
I was at
my doctor, and my doctor
asked me if I drank. I was like, yeah, I do.
Then he's just like, would you like whiskey? want whiskey or you want he had a whole damn bar there
he was serving drink well this is where the the subreddit really gets into a uh interesting spot
here actually according to a number of studies i have read you are well under what is considered
unhealthy to drink in a week a lot of studies i've read say to keep it at 21 or less per week and try to
keep it at two a night.
It also has a lot to do with culture.
I mean,
I drink one liter of beer a night with my family just eating dinner and that's
standard,
but we are in Germany.
So this guy is now,
okay.
So now he's like,
I drink 14 and this next guy is like, well, you could drink up to 21.
You could have another one.
Hey man, like I drink 14 a week in the like all 10 replies are like, dude, you got seven more to go.
Well, that's what it is.
This guy goes during the week
i drink around three to four beers a night each beer averaging anywhere from six to ten percent
abv i drink maybe around six to eight beers on friday and saturday nights since i'm usually at
a bar with my friends the beers i order at bars are normally not as high in alcohol and he's 100
lying about the amount he drinks when he goes out to the bar
with his friends he's also an alcoholic even by his estimations though this person like you're
drinking three to four a night on every weekend you're having six to eight or whatever drinks
that's an alcoholic to me you know 60 drinks a week yeah that's a quite a few drinks yeah and
this guy goes i've been told that i drink much, just like what your buddy said to you.
I may drink a lot, but I'm never late to work.
Oh, I love this.
This is because I'm a drug addict, so this is beautiful to me.
I'm never late to work.
I don't get mood swings.
I keep promises.
I don't drink until I black out, and i can easily go a day without drinking listen if a
guy tells you if a guy who drinks a lot of alcohol has to say hey i keep my promises that guy has
broken lots of yeah and i mean i mean there are i'm there are definitely people who drink more
than like the amount that we're talking about.
And it's not a problem for them.
Sure, sure.
So I think that definitely exists.
And depending on what your life is and what you do.
Jake and I were talking about this recently.
My favorite dumb guy excuse for just being kind of a bad guy is you just say, hey, I handle my business.
Yeah, yeah.
Because that doesn't mean anything. It means nothing. i handle my business yeah yeah because it doesn't that doesn't mean anything it
means i handle my business when a week comes around i you know i handle my business i do a
lot of coke i do a lot of heroin but dude i handle my business at the end of the day dude i used to
say that to people who would like just hey hey bro like you good and i'm like listen man i fucking
can't pay my rent but i handle my business i handle my business
like when my landlord bothers me but i have the conversation with yeah i handle my business
guys who like like are not on good terms with their kids love to say like dude yeah i handle
my business i take care of my family at the end of the day at the end of the day i take care of
my family pay child support once every four months yeah i keep a roof
over my head you know what i mean a bare minimum of what an adult man has to do is like a herculean
effort yeah you're like the day i handle my business and yeah by that he means like literally
like puts clothes on and goes to the store um i like this guy this is a problem uh from this guy l4 adventure and he says how hard
is it to find a heady topper by the alchemist i drank one of my friends the other day and feel
kind of bad about it wait what i don't know what that is oh we're gonna find out so i went over to
a friend's house i don't know him super well, so we're not very close
yet, but we were a couple of people in his house. I brought a six-pack and shared. Everyone else did
like a usual get-together, you know. Well, I opened his fridge to grab another beer, and at one point
during the night and saw he had a four-pack of heady topper near the back. We had just got back
from Vermont, too. we were in the west coast
i'm not super knowledgeable about beer but i did recognize the can and knew it was a very highly
rated beer i grabbed one and i was like oh damn i hear this beer is amazing right can you have one
he was like uh yeah sure drank the whole thing it was delicious thanked him whatever thing is i later
looked it up to see if they sold it near me and now i see that this beer is apparently the highest rated beer in the u.s and i just see forums of people talking about how long
they've been on wait lists to be able to get one of these beers and how people fly to vermont from
all over the world to snag a four pack also he's kind of shy and i'm afraid that if he didn't want
me to drink one of his prize possession beers he might not
have been confident enough to have spoken up and tell me no it's like current beer enthusiasm
style yeah I was like like that's a real classic you know sitcom kind of thing listen he told you
you can have it as long as you didn't pressure him as long as you didn't you know what I mean
yeah like if you just literally asked can I have have that beer? And he said, yes, there's nothing else you can do at that point.
Well, he's asking if he should go buy him some.
And all the guys are like, yeah, go buy him like a $25 pack.
You know, go get them the expensive.
That's what I would do.
Everybody knows how I would solve this problem.
I'd go to the store and buy the most expensive beer and give it to him.
Yeah.
Even if it's bad or you wouldn't even look at whether or not it's good.
No, I wouldn't Google it it i wouldn't do anything i would walk into the beer store and i'd say sir
give me the most expensive one and then he'll hand me the 200 sam adams utopia i'd be like
the second most expensive one i don't think that they sell sam do they just sell it at a regular
liquor store but you have to sign up uh so let's look at some reviews i found
sign up you have to sign up for what so what it's like pappy you have to wait on a list waiting
they're ready to give you yes yeah that's what i mean it's not like sitting there you can't just
like pull up and buy it you know so we got this brew fashion beer maker kit um i it's 150 and it's you can make your own beer out of it which is exciting
really uh martin clark bought it and he said great if you want to make yourself sick
i have been looking to do that lately yeah i'm in the business of getting fucking sick as shit, bro. As long as I don't get drunk first, though.
I hate getting drunk.
It's easy to follow instructions, which I did to the letter.
Unfortunately, made myself and the two other people who tasted it sick.
Oh, brutal.
You had other people as well.
He, like, pulls the pamphlet out and, like, opens the first page and peels the sticker back, and it says,
Poison-Making Kit.
Like, he's like, No, not again! Fuck!
God, I got my ass again.
Could you imagine how bad you would feel?
Because he goes,
I was brewed to be ready for a party.
Result was party ending rather rapidly
when every guest who tried the beer started vomiting.
Dude, what the fuck did he make?
Yeah, what the fuck?
I don't know.
Like, EpiCac?
Like, he just fucking took a sip and they puked?
The thing about this review is this is a four-star,
four out of five star.
No, this is a one-star.
But this beer-making kit is four stars, 913 reviews.
Okay.
So whatever this guy did.
He was just shitting in it.
He was just like, I had to pit.
Yeah.
And then Wayne from the United States says two stars, no alcohol.
I did this set and seemed to be no alcohol in it.
So that was his whole review.
Wait.
So I wonder if he thought he was buying a kit that had beer.
He didn't have.
Or did he make beer with no booze? Like he thought he was buying a kit that had beer he didn't have or did he make beer with no booze like he thought he was getting i think it's very easy to make beer that doesn't
have alcohol my guess i'm not into the science or any of that i don't know any of that stuff
i wonder if the process by which you make uh the fermenting happens takes a certain amount of time and if you're impatient
and you just fucking are like that's been enough time i'm gonna do it it might not have the right
amount of alcohol in it yeah because you know you don't just add alcohol you don't just like
it's a little bottle and you put it in right it's like something that happens in the process right
yeah you you can make like people that make
meat it takes like a month yeah it takes time yeah when you do wine you from yeah it takes
it takes a long ass time durango's so pissed off about this uh craft brewing uh kit that he got
that was uh 65 and he's pissed he's like what a waste of money. Worst gift ever. What you don't get are the bottles.
So you have to buy either Grosbeer, $10 for a four-pack.
You need two.
Or special bottles, caps, and a capper.
About $40.
Wait.
So those are your only two options?
Just buy your own bottle or Grosbeer?
Yeah, you can Grosbeer.
It's because Grosbeer like screw-on tops or something?
I think it has those weird tops.
The thunk.
They have the little.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
One of those.
And he goes, I followed the instruction and got to fermenting,
and the tube blew out, spreading brown sticky goo all over the floor.
Oh, no.
I hate when that happens.
Thankfully, it was all in tile so all i have now are some near worthless gallon jugs some tubes another 25 to try again no way for six bottles
of beer i'd rather really want to never drink again what a ripoff i did contact the company
never got a response so that tells you a lot Tile implies he was doing this shit in his fucking kitchen.
You know his old lady's done.
If you want to hear a question, guys, I'm going to read you this question real quick.
I think you're going to be like, oh, no, this guy's in trouble.
I got to find it.
Yeah, these are the ones relating to alcohol because we deal with it on guys a lot.
The relationships, how it like you know but when alcohol is thrown in the mix as well you know that i feel like this is just like the biggest recipe for like a relationship killer to be
really into alcohol or here's a tough one here's a tough one here's the question i was going to
tell you this is from arlto DC. Brewing in a condo.
My wife wants to make sure we can deal with the smell.
I have never brewed before, but I'm interested in making smaller batches since I don't have a lot of room for equipment.
I live in an 800 square foot, one bedroom condo.
My wife is concerned about the smell, but is okay with it for the brew day.
I do not have access to vent out of a window i'm looking for a system that will contain all the smell has anyone
successfully done this with very small little smell in a small space i'm willing to purchase
something to contain everything if required uh i've been reading about crap like homebrewing people and you can't
there's the smell is there it's just my wife's okay with it you i would love to have heard the
tone in which she said she was okay with it you know what i mean like oh yeah okay yeah
yeah it's like yeah in the same way that you're like hey yeah like me and the worst guys that i
know personally we're gonna go out tonight and you know what like okay great yeah like it sounds
like she's she's actually bringing up a concern so you know she has a problem with it she's like
but what about the smell like i've heard that you know that there's a lot of smell issues
and then he's just like listen we're fucking doing
homebrew and whether or not you fucking you know and she's like okay sure yeah 800 square foot
condo is not big enough to do this stuff and there's like a weird like to the thing really
about the bourbon guys like they're a part of this too i feel like is in a certain like part
of maybe the internet or just culture at large in general
like it's manly to be a drunk guy like like men can oh i can oh tony he could really put it away
he's a heavyweight you know what i mean and so like if you get looped into that like however
through like marketing or your friends or all beer guys or whatever and you bring it to your wife and
you're like hey this new thing i'm gonna get into means i'm gonna drink more and i'm gonna spend hundreds of dollars extra on it also
yeah like not only am i going to drink and consume more alcohol which is probably already a problem
that we have i'm gonna spend hundreds of dollars and i'm gonna do it in the living room of our
800 square foot and it's gonna fucking stank here's like a totally different thing than some of these things because like when we did bourbon
guys there was all the i couldn't find people sneaking beer into the house because bourbon
guys be bourbon guys were like my wife doesn't want me spending a bunch of money on it so i
keep two bottles upstairs and then i sneak the other ones down to the basement and she just doesn't know that it's a new thing part of the collection we did
that with the guitar guys we're like i you know i keep one guitar in the living room and then i put
five guitars that's hanging around for a long time beer doesn't hang around for as long right
you get beer and then you drink it right like beer you're not you know you're not sitting and
like having it like sit around so i think you know you're not sitting and like having it
like sit around so i think you don't have to hide it in that that's my thing it's like it's not like
a fucking five thousand dollar gibson you can give your son you know what i mean like oh yeah
even even like a nice bottle dude maybe even you could stretch it and be like a really rare bottle
of scotch that if you're that type of guy you give
it to your boy yeah maybe when he turns 18 but a beer if my listen i was about to say if my dad
gave me a beer as a gift my dad gave me many beers as many and your dad's a home brewer he'll get
he'll pass you down some stuff actually it ain't gonna be anything worthwhile i'll tell you we got
a game this week but i'm gonna read this one yes that's right ch I'll tell you. We got a game this week, but I'm going to read this one.
Yes, that's right, Chris.
A game.
Wait, what?
We got a game this week.
I thought you completely abandoned that like 30 episodes ago.
Nope.
We're playing a game.
We got a game.
This guy.
Don't say it in that voice.
People are going to get excited about it.
Every game we've done is a huge, gigantic failure.
So we'll see about this one, which is exactly like all the other ones.
Quest for a beer to last for 21 years.
Hello, our beer.
My wife is pregnant with our first child because beer is something that is important to me and my life.
I thought it might be a cool way to share this with
my unborn child beautiful oh this is actually kind of so i see he wants to buy a beer and then
have it last for long enough so his boy could drink it yeah 21 years because then yeah in canada
we could do it 19 you would only have to keep it for 19 years till your boy could drink it that's
actually a good idea i have as brian you know this i've got a boy on the way it's going to be coming my first
boy is going to be coming in about a month so maybe i'll look into this getting a getting a
beer that i can share with nobody could give him one nobody they're like is there anything that
might stand up to a 21 year cellaring process a really monstrous sour a barley wine any suggestions
would be much appreciated no and this is a bad idea sir this is a stupid idea your first beer
should be like a budweiser yeah it should be like oh i got a peach ghost or a kolsch or a nice sour
for dude i'd be your dad hands you like a flagon with a
fucking cork and a dude in 21 years it might be all different too it might be like whatever the
beer you get for him now might be considered like really a race i'm really here you know you have no
idea i'm really glad you actually said that because a lot of the people in the comments are
like this is a really good idea because if you're if your
kid's first beer is a really like fancy craft be like a really nice 21 year aged craft beer
then they'll have good taste in beer when they you know they're like maybe we'll have them drink
maybe you should have them drink only 16 17 years old then he'll know what good beer is and he will
know how not to binge drink in college and
i'm like you just want to tell people with i i have a 19 year old there is nothing you can do
to keep them from getting fucked up in college your dad handing you a beer at 21 and he's like
i saved this for you your first beer when i was, I had already had like 20,000 beers.
No.
I'm not pretending.
The pressure of pretending.
You can't tell your dad you don't like the 21-year beer.
Dude, you could be like, Dad, this tastes like shit, and I fucking have had a billion beers.
I just realized I quit drinking beer when I was 23, and I was like a seasoned drinker.
You know, I already done so much drinking.
My last time getting drunk was 26 years old.
Yeah.
You have like, you're really hedging a lot that you raise like a Puritan, like Quaker
son, you know, that's going to love like an old nasty ass fucking glass bottle beer instead
of just any normal adult, like youthful adult in the u.s that's like by the
time you hit 21 typically oh my god hang on though i just had the best thought can you imagine he
hands him that fucking beer the 21 that he fucking drops
that would be the that would be proper comedy right there the look on dad's face
or if his dad was like not a great dad and he gets it he hands it to his son and his son just
throws it on the ground oh yeah son here's your beer it stinks like eggs and there's no alcohol
yeah i made it myself yeah i made this myself in 2001 it's just for you
this beer is the reason why we have two christmases
i mean i it didn't come off like his wife was like that's cute you should you should get a
21 year old beer for the kid and like far i i would actually agree with the point that like, if you have a kid that has expressed interest in weed or beer when they're 17, 16 years old, then I mean, you can, they, you can teach them to be much more responsible with it on your own.
You know what I mean?
Not that I did it, but like one of my favorite things that my dad used to say
to me when he would like give me like some sort of high octane alcoholic beverage when i was like
13 or 14 he'd be like you're gonna drink uh away from the house so you need to learn how to uh
drink alcohol and what your limit is but when you're in when i was that age i was like
oh no i'm just getting drunk with my dad and that's what it was for him but you but to do it
with your kid like again it's like gussying up something that white trash families do like i'm
just getting fucked up with my old yeah yeah totally but you're dressing it up yeah this is
like a thing a passing of the torch or kind of but it's like no you want to be drunk now and you have to
look after your kid yes your kid's not eight anymore and he's already smoking weed and
drinking so you're like fuck it you want a budweiser like here dude like i never did i
never did i never drank or like my my dad had stopped drinking and uh doing any kind of drugs
when i was young and my mom drank a little bit, but was an alcoholic,
and she got sober.
So I never went through that.
And I personally am happy that I didn't.
I didn't have an admiration for my friends
who would get fucked up with their parents.
I did because I wanted to go to their house.
It was always so cool to be able to go to somebody's house
and live free.
Dude, I mean, it was cool, but I knew.
I knew even
at a young age i was like ah man i'm happy that i'm not you know i was the friend people would
come over and want to come over because you could smoke in my living room yeah that was my shit and
and my dad would just let whoever was at the house just drink as much as they wanted and it was like
people like if we oh well let's go over blake's place oh no blake's parents are religious oh well we could play halo we don't
want to play halo we want to go watch jake's dad drink like 18 budweiser's and with metallica riffs
on his fucking bc rich warlock in the garage i want to be clear i would have been there every
single weekend at your house and i would have been having the best time ever yeah in the back
of my head i would have been like you know i bet i bet jake would maybe like sometimes if his dad was like
you know less of one of the guys and more of like you know a father figure i was thinking that in
my head you know to the point of this guy's post it's like listen man just fucking just be one of
the guys that's like here's a this is called a miller yeah you know you don't have to
fucking home drink 114 in one night yes exactly all right it's game time everybody i made up some
fake beer names and some real beer names okay all around in a circle and you just real or fake
so last time last time we played this i think we were
playing with an expert right where um somebody who it was like a musical one and somebody oh
yeah steve slagowski from pup but i got him a bunch of times too prog rock yeah that's right
but so i think that was the last time i sent you a quiet message behind the scenes and i said don't
you fucking dare embarrass me like that again in front of everybody by playing these games
where i don't know what gaming down this one is more this one's more even because you guys aren't
proper beer guys or anything jake you might have a bit of an advantage because you worked in you
know at the bar and everything but it's pretty much an even play i don't know if you can really
have an advantage with the craft beer thing because a lot of them are very real names are so stupid it'll be like wizards
lament stout you're like well our first beer is voodoo ranger and i'll start with chris real or
fake fuck okay it's not funny so brian if he made this one up it's not a funny one so i'm gonna i'm gonna say that this is
a real one all right jake that's real baby thomas thomas it's real that's all right yes
did you almost call him tom and then you realize you didn't want to call him tom because tom
well but you have to understand.
We figured out that a lot of people involved in sex
clubs are named Tom.
A ton.
I could send you a
list of guys named Tom that are
in the swinger community.
Yeah, there's a guy we watch
named Tom and he hosts a thing
for Tom's trips, but guess what tom and he hosts a thing for tom's trips but guess what
he's not the tom from tom's trips it's a different tom that owns tom's trips and his name's also tom
and he's the host of the show and he employs three more toms and i'm not even fucking lying
it's crazy really weird our next beer is rascally crazy you didn't say did you oh it was right yeah you it was real it was real
we're all tied here rascally critter ale chris well i know brian pretty well i feel like this
is some of his fucking brain would come up with so i'm gonna go with this one's a fake one okay jake i'll say fake
thomas i'm gonna say fake but i'm i don't know after i said it i didn't want to i didn't want
to say fake for now yeah but i didn't want to spoil anything but then when i said that i he
got that look at his face like he was all proud of himself so now well i um no actually
it was fake yes yes i know i know rascally career that's the kind of thing he thinks of
in his head i would never said rascal in my life how did i know that it was fake then, Brian? Okay. Our next one is pizza, pork, bacon, and eggs.
Chris.
Pizza, pork, bacon, and eggs.
Okay.
This one I feel like, I just don't feel like you would come up with the phrase like this.
I feel like it's one of those stupid ones that the company came up with.
It's kind of like, oh, it's kind of stupid and silly and meant to catch your eye i don't think you even know a phrase like that
brian so i'm gonna say this is real i don't know pizza when you asked me what my favorite
food was and i said pizza and hamburgers you made fun of me for like three weeks
well that is funny for a grown-up to say that that is so awesome
that's so sick just and i love the honesty i i can imagine how brian literally said that
and they just but just be like it's like a house you know like you know so many achieved things like i fucking love kids cuisine
i like little seasons this is so sick um yeah pizza port bacon and eggs jake i will say because
one of the beers it wasn't a draft as a bottle uh at this place called ables that i worked at in
austin it was a pizza flavored beard that we had gotten from a local brewery so i'm gonna go and
say i don't i know they're not the same because I remember the name was different.
I'm going to say it's real.
It's one of those fucked up, weird,
savory type shitty beers that they try to make.
And Thomas.
Just so we're not
all doing the same thing, I'm going to say it's fake
even though it's probably real, but I'm just going to say
it's fake.
Thank you for doing that, Thomas.
We got to keep it a little competitive. Thank pizza pork bacon and eggs is real now i'm fucked
well uh this next one is an interesting one alpine nelson i'll ipa alpine nelson
ipa and i just i try to think it like his brain You guys should go first because I don't think it's true.
Okay.
Jay, Alpine Nelson IPA.
Since we last played this game, I've learned so much about this guy's fucked up brain,
and I understand it better.
I'll say IPAs always have the dumbest, stupidest fucking names,
and so I'll say that that's real.
Thomas.
I'm going to say it's fake.
I'll be the skeptic.
Okay.
So I'm trying to think of Alpine nelson like what what was he thinking when brian but then sometimes he'll think like oh i'll just make a real sounding
one to try to like fool them you know and then also half nelson i'm gonna say that that is
i'm gonna say that's fake that one one's real. Baby, take it home three for three.
The next one.
Yeah, I should have known you.
Fuck, I tried. I got two in my own.
You know, I was like, oh, he's trying to do reverse
psychology. I'm
giving him too much credit.
Sexy
beer is the next one.
It's called sexy beer.
I'm going to go with real. No's called sexy beer. I'm going to go with real.
No, I'm not.
I'm going to go with fake because I did fake twice in a row,
and I got to fucking land it at some point.
And Jake?
Sexy beer.
Is that just – there's no – it's not an ale.
Sexy beer is what it's called.
Sexy beer.
Look, even if it's fake, and you say it's's fake if i google it and it's real i get my
point back because i'll say fake i'll say that's fake all right and chris i'm the same as jaygan
that i think that you made it up brian because brian isn't he's he's like involved in that kind
of stuff and he thinks i'm not involved in the sex world and so i think that he's constantly thinking about it and i think he made it up but i also
do think it's real and i don't think he did the due diligence of googling the ones to see if they
are real even yeah i think it's gonna he's gonna say it's fake but then we're gonna look it up and it is gonna be real so what what's your my guess is fake well it is real and i searched sex beer like a one that was called
sexy beer nice all right can you tell us a little bit about that one do you have any more i just
googled it you gotta look it's a stout apparently oh that sounds about right what about stamp
collector hazy ipa jesus fucking christ um the thing about the ipas again is is it a really
popular one out here is called electric jellyfish yeah um and uh there's like a bunch of fucking
like like the the four horsemen. Like it.
So when it comes to IPAs,
I'll take the gamble and say real,
because they really go over the top of the dumb ass names with them.
I'm going fake.
I have to be right at some point.
And Chris Jake has been right on every single one so far,
except the last one.
We were all wrong.
So,
but I'm going to,
I'm going to stick with Thomas here. I'm going to say Brian made that one up.
I'm going to say that one is fake.
I made it up.
Fuck.
Two for goddamn.
I made it up.
Okay.
That means I'm only one back of Jake right now.
So is there any more?
Yeah, there's more.
Okay.
So I could.
I've never won this before.
You're tied with Jake.
Is that true?
Don't even.
You do this every fucking time yes okay okay i'm being
really responsible here with you do it every you're like are you sure what's how do you know
what anybody has i'm yeah score right here okay so i'm tied right this is exciting for me okay
the next one is big Daddy Mad Logger.
Big Daddy Mad Logger.
Jake, I'll go real.
Thomas.
I'm going to say...
Fuck.
I'm going to say, you know, fuck it.
What did Jake say?
Real. I'm going to say fake you know, fuck it. What did Jake say? Real.
I'm going to say fake.
Fuck you, Jake.
And I'm going to say, I'm thinking Big Daddy. He's thinking like Tom Likas.
And also like Big Daddy is a sex thing as well.
It's not a sex thing.
So Brian's probably got that in his head.
I'm going to say, say though that this one is i'm gonna try to take the lead on
jake here and i'm gonna say fake it was fake shit yeah i do say the score is five to four to four
so this is very close here wow okay this is huge okay so we got three more left we got tomato goes
tomato goes jake i'll go real uh thomas
real yeah i feel like that one is like what would you because you wouldn't you wouldn't
make up something so stupid do Do you know what I mean?
That like, doesn't even sound like a, so I think that's real.
And you all got it right.
Nice.
Five to five.
All right.
Here's one.
Uh, bung lover, IPA.
Bung.
Bung lover.
IPA.
Uh, Jake, I'll go.'ll go god damn it man this is what separates the fucking men from the
beers all right i'll go i'm gonna go fake on that i just think i just there's something tell me this
and i'll say this i on the last one i should go first because it allows me to because i'm one up
on jake i can just guess whatever he guesses and then
I could just win.
Okay, Thomas.
Real.
And what did you say, Jake?
I said fake.
I do think that it's
fake probably because
I think that's something Brian
would make up to try to push it
a little bit far on the sex thing it's not a sex thing bung isn't a sex thing it's a beard
well for you bung for you it's a sex thing i'm gonna say fake it's fake
yeah you got it right and our last one is farting troy imperial stout chris okay so this is it farting troy imperial stout and so if i get
this one right i win it you win and jake oh no you and jake are tied what you and jake are tied
six six five is what i have so this you guys heard that right he doesn't know how to keep score
you can hear why why i'm Now, I just took the lead
there. It's 7-6-5 now.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That does make sense. I'm sorry.
You guys, you understand
now he just jumped down my throat about
giving him a hard time on it. Now
everybody got to hear the reason why.
I can't wait to see the comments on this
episode. I can't wait to see
an actual flub, so they'll need
something.
I may have fucked the score up.
What's it called again?
Farting Troy. I'm going to say real.
Okay, I believe that that's real as well. That's my guess.
Real. So Jake, you got to say fake
if you want to have a chance to tie it.
I'm going to lock it in and say
fake then. Just Jake and Chris
tied? I cannot believe this and i don't
have another one fuck man i was like i should get a few extra ones man it'll really be professional
nope it's just gonna end like a tie this is like wrestling you gotta draw that's all right
sometimes you just you go to a draw you go to a decision and
no fuck that man come on get a get a fucking come on go find another question on google quick man
we gotta fucking settle this right now gpt and put generate 1000 real and fake your name
they just play this till like two in the morning tomorrow when we did what's funny about this
is when we did that we had the dough boys on to talk about hot sauce guys
and i did this same game and the one that everybody got wrong but
said should be real was farting juice or fart juice hot fart juice was what it was called yeah
so i put a farting one in thinking like you know we'll trick them but you're right jake's right
though a lot of these beer guys would put fart in the name of a totally they're all so stupid
that that's kind of what makes this good for the game.
Is that like, you know, it is.
It's right for it.
Well, I feel the hot sauce one is complicated because anytime I go to like a gift shop in the south, like if I'm visiting somewhere like we went up to Tennessee on a road trip my birthday two years ago.
And in like the Pigeon Forge, it just had a whole shelf of like hot sauces.
ago and in like the pigeon forge it just had a whole shelf of like hot sauces and obviously it's a dead horse at this point but it's like if it's not just like a mexican or hispanic or south
american like caliente it's like shittingblood.com yeah yeah you know like this will kill you
fucking poop sauce or something sex because i remember we had a few sex ones when we
did that episode too with like hot girl farting on the cover or whatever you guys do us like a
like a swingers guys episode oh that's episode one and one that's why we talk about it a lot
on the title yeah one could say if they watch the stream every single week, they will see us.
Yeah, we tour sex clubs with Tom and Bunny from Tom's Trips.
They do tours of all the sex clubs in the country, and they show the playrooms, and they are fucking horrifying.
Yeah, we saw an Austin one. So some of our most popular episodes where we just go and we read reviews from strip clubs and sex clubs and swingers clubs and
we just read the google reviews the good and the bad yeah yeah and like some like a lot of them
like 80 of them are just like ah expensive but then you'll get a like you'll get a couple that's
like wow quite a bit of hispanic guys jacking off in the corner while me and my hubby are trying to
watch me take loads and you're like dude i thought my life was in shambles well but yeah there is a jake where we can't really get into it but there is a big problem
with single guys they're disgusting we hate single guys in the in the lifestyle they're like
little vermin you gotta shoot them out oh they're disgusting every club has two sets of rules
one for couples and one for single guys there's like
a whole like a literal like rules for single guys like you're not allowed to go to the same places
do the same things because they ruin it everything for everyone one of the saddest pictures ever
painted by anything that we did was at this it was at some sex club and tom and bunny are touring it
and they're like the rules in this playroom is that if you're a single guy, you have to come back with a couple.
And if the couple leaves, you have to leave with them.
Yeah.
Picturing that, we just love the idea of that.
We've talked about it all the time.
Like security coming and like shooing out single guys, like trying to stick around in the sex area.
They're like trying to hide in the corner. Like, get know like fucking brooming them out right yeah like yeah just they either
it's really it's tough to be a single guy in the in the lifestyle let me and chris just give you
tom and bunny tours okay you don't want to in austin of colette and oh okay if you watch a couple of them you're like oh my fucking god
these places are horrified there was one in austin called eden and oh yeah yeah yeah yeah and it was
like uh used to be called something forbidden but it's literally just a red shed off i-35
um oh we've seen a couple beauty sheds man yeah yeah they're really they just look like a
big barn or whatever and they like a big thing about sex clubs is they somehow don't have a
root like a ceiling on the on the on the rooms they look like a movie set kind of oh yeah yeah
like it's all just kind of like there's a big high ceiling above but it's not like over top
where the walls are the walls like in taken when liam neeson finds the camming warehouse or whatever yeah exactly it
totally looks exactly fine well i want to thank you guys for doing this show it was really nice
of you and it was nice of you to have me on absolutely no time to to uh promote guys before
it was out so tell people where to find you guys oh we are on uh spotify
apple podcast thomas you want to give them the uh open yeah so it's padeo time we're on all
basically all the streaming stuff we're also on patreon at patreon.com slash padeo time
um five dollars a month for the audio episodes We also do video episodes
For another tier
And we just put out a free video episode
On YouTube
Pendejo Time Worldwide I think
That is our Instagram
And I think our YouTube is just Pendejo Time
If I recall correctly
But I could be wrong
I'm wrong about a lot of things
But yeah check us out
On the freaking
social media. Give us
a shout. Let us know if you like our stuff.
If you don't, you can come to my house and kill me.
Thanks for doing this, guys.
We will see you guys, listeners,
next week on
fuck, what is this show?
Beatles Guides.
Oh yeah, with Nate
from Fun.
That'll be a good one.
Good night.