Guys: With Bryan Quinby - Guys: Episode 78 - Real Estate Guys with Amar Singh
Episode Date: July 30, 2024We looked at several nasty real estate freaks. What does it take to hoard wealth? How much more should you charge your friends for rent than a stranger, we also got to see how depraved airbnb hosts re...ally are! You can find Amar's special here Please Don't Kill Me and he is on instagram at https://www.instagram.com/realexciting/?hl=en Come and see Guys Live in October bit.ly/top3weekend on 10/11 and 10/12 we will be performing at the Biltmore Cabaret in Vancouver. Come hang out with, Chris an I and the Blocked Party guys!!! There is much more Chris at twitter.com/thecjs and of course https://www.patreon.com/notevenashow And for more Guys content, streams and SHOCKTOBER: a deep dive into shock jocks you can click patreon.com/murderxbryan twitter.com/murderxbryan and  https://bsky.app/profile/murderxbryan.bsky.social  Guys has a Post Office Box now! PO Box 10769 Columbus Ohio 43201
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Hi, I'm Brian. You're about to listen to guys a podcast about guys
Well, guess what on October 11th and 12th in Vancouver, British Columbia blocked party
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Come hang out with us.
Also, if you want more guys' content,
you could always go to patreon.com slash murderxbryan
to get plenty of bonus material that you can listen to
support the show come see us live goodbye Welcome to Guys, a podcast about guys.
I am Brian.
Chris is here.
Hi, Chris, my house flipping king over here.
That's me too.
We're house flippers now, I think.
That's cool.
It's cool that we it's taking us a while
I guess about 79 episodes or whatever
But we've managed to put our differences aside and we're sort of on the same page now no more no more
Okay, no more insults at the beginning of the episode. I appreciate that Brian dude
I'll tell you right now and this is the second episode in a row obviously where I couldn't really insult Chris
The first one was the porno guy's episode.
I'm not going to call Chris, Gris.
Gris?
Oh, good lord.
That's very early, early for a flub of that magnitude.
Because do you know what I mean?
It's like, oh, I wonder if anyone's even going to pay attention to the rest of the episode
or be like into it at all. Or if it's
like, they're just going to keep thinking about grace, you know,
like you will be making a joke in the back. That's pretty funny.
But it's no
so anyway,
I couldn't call Chris a chronic masturbator, it would have made
me feel guilty on that side for the last episode.
And I hate the people we're covering this week. So I would never call you.
I hate them as well. I hate them. I hate their guts and I wish they all died.
And I'm no well, I do need to clarify. I have one friend who is a real estate agent and
she's seems kind of normal or whatever. But in my household, we hate real estate agents. My I'm not I live in Vancouver
I'm not buying a house, but my brother did and had this horrible
Experience with real estate agents that I'll maybe get into a little bit and I'll tell you why you fuck over remember my fucking
Family and you're fucking dead to me. All right, and so that means all real estate agents are dead to me big pussy Chris James
That's your big pussy your big pussy from the Superheros and we have as a guy stand-up comedian
Omar sing hello everybody. Yes, I get his name right and I call Chris gris
Yeah, he was very concerned because ummerar has, his name is written as A-M-A-R.
So it's, you know, us.
It's a problem.
And us Anglos too.
We see that and we're like, hey, that's gotta be Umar.
That's the only way I know it.
And so Brian was really in his head and he,
but he managed to get it.
However, in the whole mix up of it,
unfortunately he did say Gris.
Gris?
It burned out the wires of your brain and you can't say anything right now. It's my name
It gave you one it gave you the capacity to say one correct name in that moment
It's almost it. This is gonna be a Makai a Zomplex one
Did you see how many people were telling me you must have a Makai a Zomplex because I actually said
Makai a zomplex because I actually said Makai a zomplex
Oh, yeah, they're they're slamming the table right now they're chanting it's getting out of control people are actually writing out their
Gris signs right now
W
Toos right now. They're trying to memorialize this moment
So we are talking this week about real estate guys. I don't like them
I found a bunch of very different ones
I found some you know real estate investors, which are guys that I think are universally hated by yeah
Those are yes, though. Everyone hates those people who are like hey, let's commodify
Let's take this thing that people need housing and let's like use it as our little play thing to make money
Yeah, we fucking hate those people. I found short-term rental owners
Which are Airbnb hosts which are I think the most hated people for me. I can't say which is worse. I
Think Airbnb hosts are worse and we're gonna read so much stuff from them where you're gonna be like, holy shit
This is how they talk about us when we see now now I've I've been to a couple of Airbnb's I've had negative
Only with big groups. That's the only time I've ever done it
Like we went to twitchcon or whatever and you got to stay in a big house and it just makes
Financial sense or whatever you can rent out a big house
But yeah, they were always kind of really shitty like really sort of facade of a house
You know like everything felt really
But I never had a terrible experience um or have you ever have you ever like stayed in the Airbnb?
I've only been in Airbnb a couple of times, and you know what it was pretty okay. It's pretty okay
It was pretty fine maybe maybe now
because brian now you have a different sort of story right you have had some issues at airbnb
i'm like 90 percent or 80 percent let's say 80 hotels now i mean anytime i can do a hotel and
for hotel it's got to be four stars or above. I don't stay anything under four stars. There's no possible way.
Grow. OK.
Oh, OK.
I did that when I was broke.
So you can't even don't say, oh, Brian's, you know, making some money now.
No, it's true. I do want to.
I want to be clear.
It's an issue of him being bad with his not being rich.
So you're just like, oh, fancy it just like dumb.
Yeah.
So I have had a lot of experiences because my wife very much likes national parks and
nature and stuff like that.
You're not going to get a hotel said with disdain.
I know it's like, come on, let's go do something fun.
Let's go to a four star hotel.
Yeah. I know, it's like, come on, let's go do something fun. Let's go to a four-star hotel.
Yeah, I mean, this is, let's go hang out
in the bed of a four-star hotel and watch television shows
that we can watch at home.
Yeah, have you seen the lobbies on these things?
They're crazy.
I mean, yeah, National Park, you ever heard of rain?
That happens at a national park sometimes.
Well, yeah, so we went to Alaska,
and there weren't a ton of nice hotels there in Fairbank
So we stayed in the Airbnb in which the room I slept in was 80 degrees the entire time
I was there I could not we don't know you can you do that for us?
I'm her and I are both from Canada. That's like around 25. I think I'm right. It's very hot
20 sleep.
Yes.
It's like 26 or 27 degrees maybe.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, so and I couldn't get it down
and so it's 11, fucking 11 degrees outside,
it's very cold outside.
Yeah.
Because it's Alaska, so my wife was like no.
I mean 11 degrees is not that cold.
The guy who just won't give up the.
That's actually pretty close to root temp, so I don't know what you're complaining about. 11 degrees is not that cold. You just won't give up the
especially close to room temp. So that's actually not bad.
That's actually really agreeable to put your 11 degree.
And when he said it was 80 degrees before, that's so fucked up.
You should be dead.
So that's fucking so high.
So outside, it's minus 11 degrees Celsius.
Oh, my God is what it was there.
Now that's cold.
I was like, I gotta open a window.
I can't sleep in this room without that window open.
And my wife was like, you're not opening a window.
And that's the first time she's ever really like
stuck up for herself in regards to temperature
of the house.
I'm usually in charge.
It's not a big concern of hers.
She's not really, it doesn't,
she's not, it doesn't matter either either way whereas you're really passionate about it
So she just lets you win those battles. Yeah path of least resistance. I think would I would say for her
It's not that she like respects my
Thing it's that she knows I'll start complaining immediately
I was trying to sort of frame it in a way that didn't make you look so bad, but so you ruined it man. That's yeah
So I did that one and I hated it. It was fine. The place was nice and then in Joshua tree
I've rented a couple too and
Toronto I stayed in one in Toronto that pissed me off and we read the review of that one on
An episode of the bonus show where I gave it a five star
review but then complained about several things. Being that they advertise a washer and dryer
and then when you get to the Airbnb they say if you're not staying here more than five
days you're not allowed to use the washer and dryer.
Oh God. That's a fair rule.
That's not a fair rule. That's an unfair rule. So anyway, let's check into some real estate guys
I found this guy
on our slash
Real estate and his name is chasing freedom 1224 and I kind of like the guy for some reason he goes
What's the most practical way to become rich?
For example if someone could care less about keeping up with the Jones and not concerned about square feet in a house
Would you guys buy a cheap ass condo live in a trailer buy a house in the ghetto?
Hoping it would increase because of gentrification all cash deal on shit condo
Let's also assume the comparable returns would be an index fund any help appreciated. So this guy's asking them. I
Haven't heard the term ghetto in a long. Yeah, I didn't know we were still using that one. Is this an old
This is a seven-year-old post, but it's a 37 day old post. So this is current day. This is
2024 he's still saying yeah, no, yeah, no, I just
That's it's kind of crazy I don't think so I think young yeah, he seems kind of young
Yeah, I mean this is kind of cool. Hey, how do you get rich?
I mean, I don't know. I think that's kind of what like a lot of people are trying to do been asking
Yeah all my life Chris. I
Would love to know I know I would thing to know I was looking through. I know the best thing to know. I was looking through, I had a pretty good idea
for getting rich because I found this list of phone numbers
for these guys who are part of the Center
for National Policy in America.
They're all these really highfalutin people.
And I got their cell phone numbers and stuff.
And so I was like, I'll just call a couple of them
and ask for not a large amount of money.
Yeah, 60,000. But you know you know I mean if they have a billion dollars and just try to explain to them in
Like plain terms why it's a good idea or why it doesn't matter to them to give it to me and see if I could
Get myself a bit of cash make sense smart actually so the first guy says the practical
Answering this guy's question seriously is so funny because what a stupid question. You would be like, this is an incredibly stupid question
is the answer, but the guy goes,
the practical way is to make more money
and then invest the money while trying to enjoy life
while doing so.
So make more money is the key to,
that's the practical way to get rich is to make more money.
I mean, I'm not gonna disagree there.
I think it is a key element to-
I'd say the number one.
The number one thing to getting rich.
Richness, a key thing to richness
is to make a lot of money.
Otherwise, people will not consider you to be rich at all.
Well, if you have a lot of friends,
some might also consider you to be rich.
No, fuck that shit.
Fuck that.
It's fucking cash, man.
Oh, I'd rather have a bunch of money
and a bunch of friends, I'll tell you that right now.
I wish I could sell my friends for money
I thought would be a random out. I would be a great way to sell mine. Unfortunately, they're all fucking worthless
Thank you
Well, the guy the LP responds and says how does someone even make enough money in 2024 to create long-term wealth?
enough money in 2024 to create long term wealth.
Like what job do you need to have while living and living high on the horse
with a nice and nice house surgeon?
So now he's saying, first of all, high on the horse.
Not an expression. And Sir, is surgeon is like surgeon.
That's not a rich guy's job.
It's like, man, I really want the path to money, you know I guess I'll get into surgery like there's a lot of schooling and a lot of like really serious
Surgeries that you have to do to save people's lives if you're in it for the money. I feel like yeah, that's not good
I think probably you want to get into investing or whatever. Yeah, so I respond
So cry bully mods suck
Responds so this guy hates mods and he goes patience and discipline
I've never made six figures in wages yet. I'm not I have a net worth in the mid seven figures
My start was with a not great three unit house in an area. I expected to appreciate due to demographic changes
Gentrification these guys are just like no they're actually Brian. It's called demographic
It's not gentrification. That's a really bad word to use its demographic changes
It is it's it's called a demographic evolution actually and what I guess I'm just gonna grab water real quick
I've got to grab a glass of water. No problem
And what that means is there used to be some people here with less money and now there's people here with a lot of money
And that is the demographic change we're looking for. Yeah. Well, I mean that's good. Yeah, that's that's good, right? Okay
I'd say good better than not having done it. So he goes, um, I
Okay, I'd say good better than not having done it. So he goes, um,
I lived in unit, spent a little money fixing it up a bit,
then rented that unit out and repeated for the other units.
I lived in one unit while the other two paid the mortgage. If you want roommates, you can also house hack this and turbo charge the returns.
When I moved out, that property was suddenly cash flowing 2000 a month.
Our cash flowing means somebody's money that they worked for they were
Charging them for that money in order to live in that place. That's what they're referring to almost should have had a game on this for
us to
Figure out the words, you know what I mean?
So he goes our next house was a single family with a detached in-law suite
We rented that out and it covered two-thirds of the mortgage.
At this point between the rents from the first house and second house, both mortgages were
covered and we still had $1,500 a month cash flow.
Now this, I wrote blah, blah, blah after it because this goes on for several more paragraphs
of this guy saying this.
OP responds and he goes, thanks for the comment, but I'm more concerned about limiting expenses than getting rich in real estate currently
My income is low and I need to stop the bleeding with profiteers and real estate
I need a place to live for two hundred and fifty dollars a month
Seems like maybe so you need a room to stay
like is this is more of a
Just a situation where you need
Accommodation can I be clear I would also like a place for two hundred and fifty dollars a month
I I think I can really make a run at some some good investments in that Ryan
Brian, let me tell you if I were able to only pay
Brian let me tell you if I were able to only pay
$250 a month for my fucking housing I could take the rest that I'm spending on the other
3,000 some odd dollars. I'm spending on rent every month that would go straight into investment, so I'm with him I would love to get a place. That's two hundred and fifty dollars. I it's my dream two hundred fifty dollar a month condi
I did such a good idea to pay only $250 for rent
It's actually like I never thought of it
I'm gonna talk to my landlord because she's like she's touching way more than that at this point
So he goes I need a place to live for $250 in a month a month and then utilities my life would be 100 times better
If I owned a shit little condo and could stop the profiteers ruining my life.
So basically what's happened is he has gotten himself into,
or he's paying too much rent.
I mean, I think he's in the same situation as me, honestly.
That like, yeah, it's fucking bullshit when you are,
the thing is though,
he's talking about the people in this forum. Well, here's the thing
They are the profiteers, right?
That's who he's talking about the people who are landlords who are taking money out of renters and stuff like that
You might want to take this guy's side, but now I'm gonna read you his next post. Okay. Oh, no
Yeah, but what if the goal is to hoard wealth and be cheap piece of shit and be single and not have to worry about
School districts I'd assume a shit condo with $100 HOA and $100 a month taxes that you pay cash for
Has to be the best way to hoard wealth
so now I
Have never heard somebody describe it as I would really like to hoard wealth
Describe it as I would really like to hoard well
Any of the money I would love to just make it all thing that's like the negative way that it's viewed usually You know, I mean that's how you which yeah
That's how you yeah
That's how you like normally insult like a billionaire like you're fucking hoarding well
Yeah, well everyone else is fucking dying
But this person's like that's what I would like to do and and another thing there Brian that I think the hoarding well thing
Is obviously disgusting and sickening to hear but there was another detail in there that was even more disgusting
It was the fact that he planned to live as a single guy. Yeah
Sorry, I'm are we we have a big problem with single guys. We're involved in the pineapple lifestyle
Not we don't do swinging, but we know a lot about it
We know everything about it again though well
Single guy, but if you're a single guy they are treated like dirt. They have different set of rules
They are like not allowed in certain areas. It's incredible so he goes the next person says
Live in a car or buy a cheap piece of land
That's that's yeah there, you know get a little of cheap piece of land and then just you know camp on there
Basically now here's an incredible sentence for a person who is so
Aware of the world they live in
Why do you hoard wealth? That implies there's limitations
to how much wealth someone can acquire.
Like that is the thing where a guy thinks
we have infinite resources on the planet.
Like why do you think there's a limit?
Because there's only so much water and wood and plastic.
It's bad.
Yeah.
Guy realizing that there's limits to stuff as he writes this post.
Yeah. And that's what I thought about that.
I is an infinite stuff.
I hate the I hate these guys so much.
And I'm realizing that like these investor people, these people who are like
their whole thing is trying to like game the system.
Jesus Christ.
I just got a phone call from some fucking crazy Christian
guy on my fake producer phone number right while that was happening. But these people
are like their whole thing in life is like I need to beat the system and like try to
figure out how to make all this money and shit. They're like playing against us. There's
all these guys who are out there doing this. We're not spending all day figuring out all
this stuff. And so that of course we we're always gonna be at a disadvantage.
There's guys who are like 10 hours a day,
they're like, how can I game the system
and like make as much money and investing as possible?
Yeah.
Well, here's a good question from r slash real estate.
What's it like to be a landlord?
So now we're gonna hear what landlords think of tenants,
which is really something because they do not like us.
They do not like us as much as we do not like them.
Thinking about investing in some rental properties
and managing them myself, though I'm not sure at all
what being a landlord is like.
What does a day in the life of a landlord look like?
The pros, the cons?
Whatever, it's nothing. You fucking sit there. You don't do anything at all
What are you days not different the day is it's complete
It's eclectic be it depends on what their life was like before because it doesn't fucking change like
You have more money that's coming in for not doing anything
You get money and that's the only thing that's different
Yeah, and then sometimes listen to this guy
It can be tough if you plan to do the maintenance yourself
Tenants always seem to break the strangest things that are not easily fixed. I've
Listen, I've never like, you know things do break in a place sometimes, you know, but like,
yeah, I've never had I've never like asked them to replace big things or cause big damage.
Never.
For example, I had a tenant damage the stem that holds the knob for the stove.
It was a pain in the ass to fix.
By the way, I've rented.
I've never bought anything.
I'm never buying a house.
I've always rented've never bought anything. I'm never buying a house. I've always rented. I like renting
I think it's the best possible situation and I know that's bad money wise but I just want to be
able to leave you know what I mean like if something cool happens I don't want to be like
I can sell this house before I can you know do what I got to do so anyway move to I also yes I
also like to play I was like yeah if you decide one day you're like you know what I got to do. So anyway, move to the also. Yes, I also like to play.
I was like, yeah, if you decide one day or like, you know what?
I think I might have figured out a system.
Yeah, Jack.
Well, I play roulette and I guess that's.
You'll also have the usual.
Not the way he plays, just to be clear.
He played he he somehow makes it the worst odds the way he does.
You'll also have the usual stuff like tenants that hide pets and end up destroying the carpet
Also the classic tenant that is told not to mount anything on the walls yet ends up destroying the drywall to hang a flat screen
Things will go wrong at the worst times too
I remember getting ready for a night out on the town when my tenant suddenly calls with plumbing issues
Can you see here?
I am about to go out on the town and spend all of this person's hard-earned money
And they have the audacity to call me because their fucking toilet won't work and they can't take a shit ever heard of going to
A department store, buddy. I'm trying to go spend your money on my heat toes
Yeah, go to the department store use the toilets there
Yeah, well Brian
Shits at the grocery store and the convention of the Columbus Convention Center
In his defense in his defense that's because his shits were too big and they were clogging his own toilet
Chris has now seen one and
You know, it's a nice well, not just me pretty a lot of the people listening
Yeah, it got posted on Patreon it got posted on that you want
I just want to be clear Brian just somehow he said in passive voice it got posted on the patreon
But nobody else has the fucking posting capabilities on the page. It's only him right, but people ask for like a robot
I really did it or something. I don't know what happened. I contacted patreon
Here's another one.
First time landlord, very excited.
Hi all, first post here.
Closing on my first rental property this week.
Three bedroom, one bath, 1240 square feet, single family renting for $7.25 a month.
Bought it for $55,000 with 20% down on conventional loan at 3.5% monthly pay.
Wherever this is, fucking suck my fucking balls.
$55,000 house, fuck you, I'm sorry.
Fuck you.
It's inside, it's probably in the worst place
in the world. Do you understand
that in the city I live in, there is literally not a home
that costs less than a million dollars
Like when I hear fifty five thousand dollars for a fucking home I get sick in my stomach you wouldn't it's in
They said it's in, Ohio. I guarantee it's in one of those dead towns in Ohio like where there's nothing I live here. I know what it's like when you leave the city. That's probably where is that he goes a
Praise for 60k and is located directly across the street from my primary residence. Oh, do I hate my my landlord?
That's nice right now in that's ideal
That's ideal because they can check up on you and make sure that everything's going well and just sort of they can pop in
Any time which is nice come by say I'm 27. I mean this guy's 27 too. I do want to
Peel this back a little bit and talk about why we're doing real estate guys is that my daughter
I'm so we have a podcast that we have a podcast where we talk about guys and stuff, but
My daughter is in college
this is she's in her sophomore year and
almost to the person
Every person that dropped out said they're getting their real estate license and becoming realtors like to the fucking
person
No, it blew my fucking mind. It's like already. I don't need college. I'm gonna own property
It's like, uh, no, what happened?
I don't need to take in the knowledge of the world.
I don't need to become a doctor or a lawyer. I'm going to be a guy who has a key.
Can you imagine being 19 years old and then deciding that your path is realtor?
Like it makes me so sad to think that people are dropping out
of college and it's not to be in a band.
It's not to be a comedian, to be a writer,
to do anything like that.
It's to fucking be a realtor.
It's to make money.
That's what it is, right?
It's just like the quickest path to be a rich person.
That's the way they're saying it.
So like something in their mind is, you know,
which is not a new concept, but like the way they're seeing it. So something in their mind is, which is not a new concept,
but the stuff they're learning, obviously,
is saying that, hey, just get that fucking money
any way you can, quickest way possible,
and they're figuring out that it's real estate.
I don't know, maybe, maybe I don't wanna,
I was just gonna say, it kind of makes us,
I think you're on a bit of a delay as well, Umar.
I think that's why.
There's a slight, slight one, and so that's why. But yeah, I wonder if there on a bit of a delay as well, Umar. I think that's why. There's like a slight, slight one.
And so that's why.
But yeah, I wonder if there's a connection between them
all watching like Impulsive with Logan Paul and like Big Mike,
his fucking co-host and shit like that.
Because I listen to the way those guys talk and stuff.
And I don't know.
It's kind of fucking weird.
You know?
I know that when she was in high school,
I didn't know about Gary Vee.
You know, you guys know who Gary Vee is.
Yes, he's one of those.
I get rich by doing this and this.
I didn't know about him until my daughter told me kids in her school
in ninth grade were watching it.
Yeah. And I was just like kind of in disbelief.
And I think that's what has happened.
These kids got their hands on these motivational guys that that are like own real estate. It'll be fucking great
They get their fucking hands on it. And then it's like
Well, there's not any other job out here that's going to make me the kind of money and none of them are going to make money
No, by the way, like yeah, not like the amount of realtors out there
It's so huge when I started reading about this and and seeing there are
So many realtors out there that it's almost like you're a fuck it like trying to get to play professional hockey
You know
There's a million zillion professional hockey or guys out there that want to be professional hockey players and only a few of them get to make any kind of money
Doing it but the difference the difference of it is that these real estate agents you can take that test and I think it
Must be so easy, right?
Then you can say you're a real estate agent versus like you can't say you're an NHL hockey player if you're not an NHL hockey
Player so they are able to be like, yeah, I I'm a realist That's my job my life and stuff, but yeah, I think a lot of them are going to yeah struggle to find clients
Yeah, like so I want to read you guys this next guy here. This is crazy to me
When I bought my first property I rented it out to friends or friends of friends
And I was very lax about the security deposit. Big mistake. And our OP
responds, it goes, I was going to be lax. I was going to go the lax route because they're close
friends and someone I entrust with my life and safety every day. But after a lot of reading,
I learned how fatal that mistake can be. We're signing a lease, two month rent security and
first last month upfront. They're very understanding about my my reasoning this man is
Charging his friends more than he would someone he doesn't know
He goes I definitely don't expect most people to have four months up front
But this is my partner at work and we both make a pretty livable income
He understands the reasoning for it too, but unless you have terrible credit or exigent circumstances
I would generally just require first and last and security deposit
So you're using your personal relationship with him
Not only are you not using the personal relationship to like give him a break
You're using the information you know from that personal relationship
To charge him more money because you know how much money he makes
Very cool very cool. Hey, you know what hey
We could all live we could all use a friend like that
He gets a response this is that's really high for such a cheap place
I've never even rented a place that one at first last and security deposit though
I know it exists and our OP responds and goes it's only that high because it's a friend
I wouldn't expect it from anyone else, but this is what we both agreed on
Saying it like it's gonna make sense, but he keeps repeating it like, no, we don't understand why you're
charging your friend more.
Less, less. It's the opposite.
Yeah, it should be less.
It's evil, right?
This is one of the most evil things you've ever heard,
is a guy saying, like, I doubled what I charge him up front
for the rent because he's my friend
and I'm afraid he'll take advantage of me.
And you have to remember
He lives across the street from this guy, too
It feels like it's going to be hell for that and they will not be friends
When by the time this leaves it there's just no possible fucking way
Yeah, you know can't be casual with your friends
You know I mean like I like I understand, you don't want to get into some situation
where you're getting taken advantage of by a friend who, like, you know,
doesn't pay and just won't leave or whatever.
But it's like, I don't know, if it's your friend,
that's the whole thing of having a friend is you have like some level of trust in them.
And you know, you care about them. That's right.
So I don't know.
I think he's kind of trying to like trap because he sees him at work.
He's his partner at work. And now he lives across the street from him
I think he's trying to trap him to be his friend all the time like 24-7, you know
I see knocking on that fucking door
He does not want him he does not want to lose him and he's maybe feels like him. He's slipping away
Maybe he's got another job offer something a girlfriend a girlfriend girlfriend oh no yes not a single guy he turned from single guy to not single
guy in now now our landlords were now all of a sudden we have to go through
separate doors at the club sounds like it's a done deal already but going
forward I wouldn't be any harsher or nicer to someone because they are friends someone
You know business is business and our OP responds and goes
Absolutely, it was actually his suggestion because it's my first time written no way
That's not true. No way. I don't believe that at all
Yeah, I that is a lie and he goes
It's my first time renting and he wants me to have peace of mind due to the risks
Of renting to someone, you know personally, I totally understand though. Thank you and then a response
This is the most guys. There's the most landlord response you'll ever hear
These are the actions of an actual friend not the people who want your business to give them free or discounted stuff
And this is a business best of luck.
It's not a business. It is not a business. A fucking business is
this is you making money off of someone else's labor. That's all
that it is. You know, it is like you taking advantage. You don't
doing a fucking job.
Well, you want to hear this is unfortunate that in this case my mom's
credit score is very low. So now we're going to hear how you treat. Are you are you telling
us that sorry is that. Yes mine is too. But now this poster is talking about how his mom
has a very low credit score. And he goes, my mom's credit score is low with stable income.
Previous tenancy of 16 years, been at her current job for the state.
Fifteen years. Her credit is shot because my dad was a deadbeat alcoholic
who couldn't keep a job.
And she had to she had to decide between P.G.
food, rent and credit cards cards the latter had to suffer
I know landlords have to cover their asses and a bad tenant is a nightmare
But it's too bad that people decide who you are based on your credit score
And he gets one response and the guy goes my only eviction cost me 10k
Don't blame the landlord blame the laws that protect deadbeats
In a roundabout way did he just call that guy's mom a deadbeat? Oh yeah.
Well, no, the dad, the dad, I think, the dad who screwed the credit up.
But yeah, I mean, that's a really good point that you can have bad credit early on in your
life and have a completely different situation now.
And like, I know I'll have trouble renting often times.
And because I was a comedian for so long and still am and like my source of income is so strange and like sort of hard to wrap their head around or whatever.
So, yeah, it does suck that people can't just look at it and be're like, oh yeah, you have the means to pay clearly.
So I'm gonna rent this to you
and give you a chance to pay it, you know?
Yeah, I have bad credit.
And do you know how I got this apartment?
Is I literally opened the Patreon app and showed her.
And she was like, okay, you can live here.
That's the only way I can figure it,
because I was like, my's kind of weird, but yeah
Yeah, the patreon it does well enough that it'll get you an apartment. That's nice to know that's nice to know
I'm gonna start using that one. Yeah, you just show them the thing so here's
Your patreon and see what I can get
Well, yeah, and I just realized my name is not on the
Patreon anywhere, so I would struggle to have that hold up.
I'm going to write your name at the top here.
Now we're at the Airbnb hosts, everybody.
I'm showing you a listing for a cute garden level, two bedroom, one bath.
You see it? I see it.
It's really bright. It's really white. It's got like
colorful you know duvet cover on there whatever it is. It's really meant to you know it's it looks
aesthetically pleasing. It looks very clean and fresh you know. So let's read the question that this
host has to ask screening guests before approving a stay. I have a cute garden level suite that I list.
It's really nice, but it's not a luxury apartment.
It's a great place to come visit my city affordably,
but it's not designed to compete with hotels.
One very clear pattern is that the older generations
hate this space.
There's nothing misleading on the listing,
but they'll always complain and leave a bad review.
This is where the meat of the post is. I should be able to screen a request before approving
I know that they do it so you can't profile for whatever reason race religion social class age
And then she raises her hand it says raises hand after age
But I'm looking I'm looking out for a guest that I know will be unhappy and myself so I stopped getting their shit boomer reviews
I'm not I I have to, listen, I hate Airbnb hosts, but I don't want old people staying
here as a pretty understandable opinion to have.
I mean, I wouldn't want any fucking old people staying, I was like, get a nasty old man smell
on the pillow.
You don't want that reek in there, that reek of age. You don't want
that reek, you don't want that reek of death, you know, that impending death reek. No, no,
that's, I mean, listen, there's, this person's like, I understand why they have these rules
in place so you can't discriminate, but I would like to discriminate. Yes, that's exactly. Listen, but it's not by race or sexual orientation.
So I think it's fine.
It's by age.
I just don't like old people.
They make me sick.
And listen, I don't, in all seriousness, like I, I'm not a huge fan of like old people past
a certain age, but like, I mean, you know, like, like past 90, I'm really not a big,
not that I hate them or anything
I don't like to hang around with them or see them. They like they're too scary to me
They look too much like like they're skeletal or whatever. You know what I mean?
It's like too much reminder a spooky reminder of death or whatever
Like I couldn't watch Larry King at the end and everything like that
But but I mean the idea of saying yeah, like no 60 plus people
But but I mean the idea of saying yeah, like no 60 plus people
Staying there. Well, they're annoying and they don't like the apartment and that's a real huge issue Is that they're old and annoying and they don't like the apartment but that's true, too
They are old old people are annoying
So be stinger by boy responds and he goes I'm well traveled and a super host and a boomer to boot
I would not know readily what a garden level apartment means when I lived in one and I didn't mind it at all because it was
What I could afford at the time. It was simply known as a basement apartment, which that is a
keyword
That is what we're looking at
a
Base this is a basement suite a basement suite.
A basement suite, this is very common.
I don't know if it's worldwide,
but it's very common in Vancouver, yes, nowadays,
to refer to them as garden suites.
I see it all the time.
A basement suite is called a garden suite now, yes.
You can easily describe it.
Like as though you're the nutrients for the garden?
Like you're under the garden?
That is a good point. You can make it though. You're the nutrients for the garden like you're under the good boy
He goes I can afford
This may explain the generational problem
You could easily describe it as a cozy clean comfortable basement apartment with windows and a highly affordable way to stay in a hip
Desirable part of Denver. I doubt this would cut your bookings and it would head off people who don't get the appeal at an early point
Before they have time to form the wrong idea you have a nice place. I've seen advertising
I've seen I have an advertising background
You've got to get the drawbacks mentioned clearly and quickly while drawing attention to the greatness of the amenities
You could try this strategy and I believe it would eliminate some worrying about bad reviews
If not, you
could just go back to your original wording, just something to consider and hopefully helpful.
Good advice. That's very good advice in my opinion to be like, yeah, I think the reason
people are getting mad is because they think it's a different thing than it is and they
get there and they're yeah, so that's really yeah, that's good.
Don't trick people. Yeah. Yeah. don't fool people. Don't fool people.
They might be upset if they're fooled.
I don't think you guys understand
being an Airbnb landlord when you say don't trick people.
That's part of the thing.
I guess it's like one of the main things is tricking people through some sort
of subterfuge, like there's like photographs, like angles, like
maybe even things you put out for the photos and then they're not there anymore
Maybe even calling it an apartment and it not having a kitchen
might be
An interesting like you might not want to call it an apartment if it doesn't have an I have a kitchen
God have a kitchen what to be an apartment you fucking do
Yeah, this person responds and goes I'm a gen X millennial
I've never in a million years what I think that something you claim is that garden level is actually under the garden
The garden is on the ground
Garden level means on the ground. It means first floor
It means you're on the same level as the garden
You absolutely must say that this is a basement and that there's no kitchen that it's not an entire condo
It's just a few rooms with zero access to any sort of kitchen. It's a couple of rooms in a basement with no kitchen
It's not a garden. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. I didn't read this listing doesn't have a kitchen. No. Oh
That's why people are mad I think I think they want to be they want to cook their food to eat
Okay, so you want a refrigerator to keep their food their perishables in this is your entrance to this apartment
I'm showing you guys
American flag American flag there on the patio very cool. Yep. Yeah. Yeah. It's great. It's just a really, it's, it's a crappy Airbnb,
by the way. It's just, and, uh,
this next person replies and goes situated in a shared building on the ground
and garden facing floor in the back as a good way to start the shared building.
Let's the renters know that there will be other people and potentially noise
when renting in Europe.
It's almost always a shared building and we enjoyed that aspect of feeling part of a local community
It isn't just tourists if OP does decide to try and scream for age
He's gonna get a younger group of people and that has its own issues
These photos and I would love to chill in front of that American flag on that couch
Not even joking like it kind of does have decent chill vibes on the patio beside the American flag.
It kind of has a good vibe to it.
Yeah, like I could see myself sitting out there with a couple of boys
having a couple of brewskis, perhaps maybe smoking a joint or something.
Just chit chat and you know, that's kind of it's kind of a you You know what I might stay in a place. Oh, no, there's no kitchen. I literally just forgot. There's no
I might actually stay here, but no no I would need I would need a kid. Yeah, you're in an air
I couldn't have cold beers
No, there's no fridge. Yeah, there's no good. Be one point on the beers would be room temp. Yeah, so
Yeah, this person got yelled at a lot, but let's get to
Oh
This person. Oh, I got to do this
Extreme onion six seven three one goes turn off instant book be super clear in your listing about what it is and is not
Before approving any bookings ask prospective guests to confirm and writing in the app that they have thoroughly read and understand the listing.
You're likely not legally permitted to discriminate against older folks, but there is nothing
preventing you from using language in your listing that makes your rental unappealing
to them.
So just say things like say things like, you know, like, fam and and shit like that, you
know, just like you were slaying.
Yeah, just use new slang. You know, say like like Riz and stuff like that, you know, just like you were laying. Yeah, just use new slag
You know say like like Riz and stuff like that
Must have Riz
Just just put on there must have Riz and you will not get any old people at all
Next person that replies goes I love that my place has stairs weeds them out
What I love that my place has stairs, weeds them out. What? Old people.
And also people in wheelchairs as well.
Also, okay, so yeah, you don't like people with disabilities?
Well, they make it very difficult.
I can't even do it.
I can't believe somebody would say that. I cannot in real life on Reddit,
on not on an unused subreddit,
on one of the big one.
For Airbnb hosts.
People can find out who you are.
Like it's very public.
Yeah, this person goes, from your listing reviews. So now this guy's gonna throw some reviews at her and I'm very excited to read you guys this from your listing reviews
Entrance door is falling off hinges and hard to close and turns walkway house
That's a tough start when you arrive at the Airbnb and you open the door
It's like falling off the hinges like that's gonna be the first thing that you notice at the Airbnb and you open the door and it's like falling off the hinges.
That's gonna be the first thing that you notice
after the American flag.
Yeah, the review should say awesome American flag,
regrettably doors falling off of hinges.
Yeah, it's interesting that they didn't mention
the American flag there.
Maybe that's a new addition because you feel like
the review should mention the
American flag unless they're not a patriot.
In that case, they know where the door is.
You're leading out the non-patriots.
Or maybe they're freaking blind, in which case I don't want them walking down my stairs.
I know they're going to fall.
I don't want them coming up my god damn stairs anyway.
He goes, entrance walkway has solar lights, but none work and it was very dark possible intrusion into you
possible intrusion into unit to do previous laundry, so the landlord the the Airbnb host
Started doing laundry when the people weren't at the
Airbnb
Which I don't think that's cool
Like while they were out like well they were out for the day like doing their thing
The landlord comes in and does laundry and the laundry is in
The laundry you got laundry, but that's yeah, that is good that you have laundry
But I would almost say it's like almost better if you didn't in this case
I mean like it's almost better because then it would mean that they they wouldn't come into your suite at the end of your stay
Possible intrusion into unit to do previous laundry very uncomfortable
There is a storage rack of personal items for the host very junkie
The outside appearance has grown over with weeds and shows no pride of ownership at all so that American flag area
Actually kind of nasty now. That was an old picture. There's weeds.
Maybe maybe they're just doing a rewilding. That's kind of a new thing that they do these days.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he goes, these are all addressable issues on your end, one weekend
worth of work. And you've made some major upgrades, multiple mentions of the unit being used for host
storage, multiple reports about doors and windows needing work. Multiple people mentioning dismal curb appeal.
You can do this regardless of having noisy upstairs complaints or not being in a separate
union complaints. These are physical things that you can do to enhance experience and
property value. They're trying to help this person. They are trying their best to help them because yeah, that's if people are saying hey your doors fucked up over and over again
You got to fix your door. I mean, that's just so pretty standard
You guys are saying that cuz they're old. Yeah, yeah nasty old people gross. They old people notice weeds. That's the problem
Yeah
Totally kid like yeah the younger generation Were we actually love the weeds. We roll them up and smoke them
They they honestly say that like deaf people have a heightened sense of sight
And they would see the weeds and probably get mad
So you'd probably want them to you don't you don't need you don't want them in there
Well, and you can't explicitly say that they can't come but you can make it pretty clear. You know you must be able to hear
All right, so this person dense moose
Asked a question on the Airbnb host read it
I really hate vague questions that are easy to Google but but Airbnb dings you if you don't respond promptly. How
do you handle these in inquiries? I get a lot of
you. So these are people who are opposed to doing just the
smallest amount of customer service work in order to earn
the large amount of money that they're going to earn?
Well, aren't you? He goes, I get a lot of what's there to do in the area or is it good for families?
I get the second one a lot either that or are there activities for kids?
I don't 100% know what's going through someone's mind when they ask these questions.
I think I could I could take a guess.
I would say they're going for a vacation with their family and their kids and they're
Wanting to go to a place where they would have fun and have activities for the whole family and their kids to do I don't know. It's just a stab in the dark
What could these fucking people be thinking?
Honestly, what could be going through their fucking deranged heads when they ask me what a family could do in the area?
I don't know why I get only psychopaths
In my listing that is getting only serial killer levels psycho
I don't know hundred percent know what's going through someone's mind when asked these questions because I would never message a host to ask this
I might ask for local recommendations for restaurants or anything they recommend once I'm already
or anything they recommend once I'm already booked but a simple Google
search could easily answer these questions. In fact sometimes I'm
googling kid friendly activities plus area name when I answer these things to
make sure I'm up to date on what's going on. But that's fair but I get but don't
use that's not always the case right you're going to a community it community. It's maybe a smaller place. There's often things that somebody
would know about in the community. You know what I mean? Like they would know all of it.
And this is this is like this person just like hates talking to people, hates people
or whatever. Like it just sounds like a nasty person kind of. I would would I honestly when I go to a hotel I guess they're not
trying to be a hotel is something that we're kind of learning right is that
like they're a different thing but when I go to a hotel I can go to the front
desk and say hey is there something to do around here and it's a simple
question that can be answered very easily
And so she goes how do you deal with so the next the first person make a list make a list if it's getting asked
So many times make a list. Okay. Here's the different things just have it out there for you
Just have a resource send it to some not that hard. It's not that hard. Just send them the thing
You might become even a better more desirable host
You know if you send out this type of stuff next person says they're seeking that personal local touch and then go so you're like
Oh, this person's on our side. Well, don't worry and some people just don't know how to travel or Google or navigate the world
Have you been outside? They're everywhere
So but you understand you in the beginning you understand what they're looking for
But you hate them
Understand but no empathy is awesome
Yeah, why do you why do you know if you understand why do you not?
I
Found that most people asking these questions don't end up booking if they haven't booked yet
I answer very generic and vague answer says there are so many things to do in places to eat in Florida
The list is endless. I got tired of being a local tour agent for free if they've actually booked
I do give them free no not for free you're getting paid you're making money off of it
off of it. You're passing money. You're charging the money. It's not free.
Finally, our answer from Curve D says, like he's posting a question that he gets annoyed to answer. And I'm going to read this question. And the question is, is
it safe to leave stuff in my car? So they're saying is it safe to leave stuff the answer to that is yes or no
Yes
They're asking if it's like a safe neighborhood do cars tend to get broken into in this area or is it sort of a safe?
Is there a lot of you know, cuz they they keep records of that a lot of the times you can look on Google Maps
well
Maybe the person should have just looked on Google Maps and seen one of the things and found out where the demographics
Of car thefts are and then like cross referenced it with yeah, I mean, that's probably what they should have done. Yeah
This is from real estate investing and it's titled entitled tenants
How do y'all deal with entitled short-term and mid-term rental tenants?
I have some staying at one of my properties that are incredibly rude.
They're continuously complaining about what they pay us, although they sign the lease.
They asked my husband if he would take them for a boat ride, and when I brought up gas
money for him, since he's getting laid off in two weeks, they cited back that they pay
mine to what they pay, mind you, the boat is not in the lease. I'm just frustrated
I hate unappreciative entitled people and this is a new level for me thoughts now asked your tenants who?
for gas money
Yeah
Yeah, I mean, I think that's a little bit, you know a little crazy
I will say I don't think I would ever ask my landlord to take me for a boat ride
I will I will I would think I would either it seems like like do they have sort of a friendly relationship?
Or that's what I like. It sort of seems like maybe it's a casual kind of situation
But yeah, I mean I wouldn't ask my landlord to go out on their boat. Definitely not. But yeah, I mean listen
It's frustrating to pay all of your rent to a landlord.
So I understand, but it sounds like these people
are in a friendly situation,
so that's why they feel comfortable
complaining to them about it and stuff like that.
Yeah.
Yeah, it seems a bit different.
This guy says,
tenants shouldn't have your phone number or email.
Use property management or email property management
Use property management software that only allows communications via work forms problem solve
The person OP says what platform specifically would you recommend and the guys like there are so many some are free some are paid
Some are only available for certain states, etc. You'll have to look for what meets your criteria and it's called Google
It's called Google dipshit
This guy's such an asshole. He's even telling the other people in the thread like I can use Google idiot
The guy he gets a response that says an answer that doesn't help op at all great job
So we got ourselves a little bit of a tiff here. Yeah
And the guy says how about you learn to use Google it's great for answering questions
And then the next guy says raise the rent so now they're like raise the rent get him out of here. You know
First rule of next guy goes first rule of tenets you do not negotiate with terrorists
And they'll take a fucking mile
with terrorists. Give them an inch and they'll take a fucking mile. Don't be afraid to be a hard ass with these kind of people. These kind of people? These kind of people. Do you mean
people who like can't afford a property? Or does it mean bad tenants? This is like...
Does it mean friends who go on your boat with you? I don't. Yeah. This is really this is really this is really
this this is like as an episode has made me feel the most upset, I think.
Like overall, not at like even the type of people again, it just like
that there are so many of these people just living in the world with us
that are just solely focused on hoarding and gathering as much wealth as possible.
And you can't really win against them unless you play the game and the game is horrible.
I said that I think I hate these guys the most and we've had a few that like people probably
would expect me to dislike more like police guys. But like in real life, I, I
know people who love the police. You know what I mean? I like, I know I'm like, I
put a face to it. I don't know anybody that does this for a living. So I really
extra hate these people so much. This guy goes, uh, it's a business. Emotions
shouldn't come into it. And tenants really shouldn't know you beyond your name
Familiarity breeds contempt that said for tenants. It's all personal
What?
Yeah
So it's also so for and they're saying like you shouldn't even they shouldn't be able to reach you
That's the best way to do it is like just don't have an email or a phone number
Like I will say my landlord is just like an individual and you know
She'll text me and stuff and I'll text back and it's very it makes things a lot better for both of us having that communication
Open, you know, like it's just she's able to send me something and say hey, did you get that form?
There was it something sent to the email or whatever. I need you to fill that out or whatever it is
I think communication is generally good.
Yeah, you're paying them so much goddamn money,
you think you deserve to be able to reach them,
you know, without having to fill out a fucking form.
I'm giving you $40,000 a year.
Can I get ahold of you every now and then
if my toilet doesn't work?
Yeah, chances are you're giving,
chances are you're giving them more money than you give anybody else in the world.
Yeah, most definitely.
I never I don't give anybody as much money as I give my landlord.
That's a really horrible, horrible thought.
Thank you for that. Oh, you're welcome.
Here's a Airbnb.
This is from an Airbnb for hosts forum
where they're on their worst behavior. And and you guys are like on their worst behavior that one lady said she doesn't want to rent
to old people
this is where they feel fully confident being totally unfiltered here because
It's only no no tenants come on this forum. Yeah
Hello from Nashville dear hosts. I have a question. We'd like to see what you what do you think about it?
I rent my place as a long term 28 plus days.
Normally to people who have contract job nearby.
So they're at work during the day.
Now it's very hot.
97 to 100 degrees Fahrenheit.
I don't know what that is Celsius, but it's very, very, very, very hot.
It's like 38 or something.
It's like
Incredibly high today. I found out that they keep the thermostat at 63 Fahrenheit when they're not at home besides that My electric bill will skyrocket in my AC and it may not last
Is it okay to ask my renters to turn the thermostat up to 76 when they're not home?
Greatly appreciate your opinion
so in my opinion, no they're not home. Greatly appreciate your opinion. So in
my opinion, no.
Oh, you don't think you you don't think that you're entitled
to regulate the temperature of your tenants home? Okay, that's
interesting. Yeah, no, I did. That's a little weird. I think
if I want my tenants sweating profusely, I should be able to
do that. I should be able to turn it up as high as I want.
And similarly, if I want to freeze them out, I should be able to do that. I should be able to turn it up as high as I want. And similarly, if I wanna freeze them out,
I should be able to go below freezing.
That's my right.
Sometimes you want them hot, sometimes you want them cold.
Sometimes you want them hot, and sometimes,
it depends on what you're looking to do.
Pizza.
Yes, sometimes you want them hot,
and you know, if you want them really sweating,
if you're gonna sort of throw a bunch of information At them that you don't really want them to be able to process then you want to be really hot
You know whereas you know if you want them to be like really sort of lazy
You know whatever then you cool it off a little bit. Mm-hmm. Well, let's get into some answers to this question
I think that there's a cover with a lock that can be placed on the thermostat
So renters can't change the temp
I would do that after these guests leave so you don't have this issue again
How do you know these guests have the temp set at 63? Did they tell you if so?
That was a missed opportunity of asking them to keep it at 76
Perhaps you can send them a polite request through the platform asking them to keep it at 76 when they're at work
Explain to them that keeping it so cold will damage your unit
Um, I don't think it will damage the unit. Yeah, I mean if if if you can't run your air conditioner
Uh in my opinion falling apart
That's probably
I
Think the place I lived in before I moved here had an air conditioner for a much smaller
Building like men for a much smaller
building and like it would it would get really because I keep the house cold all year and
It would get really it but it never broke
You know, but I know I have I have one right now I have two air conditioners and I want the one in the big main room. It is
Way too small. That's like same situation. It doesn't even do anything. So you have to get a big giant one
Sorry Chris, I mean I was just gonna say that like I
guess that is really low that amount the
Like 60 whatever like super super low right it is, but I've kept my house at that to be fair
Yeah, I think I enjoyed it
Right it would be and and the lock thing you can't do that
Can you yes you can you can lock the thermostat and make it so that the tenants aren't allowed to choose what temperature they live in
That's there's no way that cannot be the case. We're gonna read some comments here from people the original poster says
Thanks for your quick response
I was visiting the place per guest approval as we recently service the AC to make sure it worked properly
Fucking snooping on them. Yeah person is fucking snoop. There's no fucking way they needed to go over
there and check the air conditioner. They they wanted to see what temperature they were
keeping the house to make sure it worked properly and was shocked to see the temperature set
to 63. Do you recommend what do you? Also may invest in a nest that operates with
code remotely all the best. Now we get a response from somebody giving some advice. Let's get
some advice. Yes, tell them to set it at 76 during the day when they're not there invest
in a nest system or in a cover and set it on econ settings with a timer if possible.
I've had guests guests ask if they can control the thermostat and I've
asked why.
Here in Florida?
Why?
You really needed to know why they wanted to control the thermostat? You couldn't use
context clues?
It's an incredible question. Why? Why do you want to control them?
What the hell are you doing in there that you need it to be a little cooler?
What do you you want to control the thermostat to what end?
Yeah, what are we what are we getting towards here? What's the real thing going on here? Let's come on I
Just want to control the temperature. why why would you do that what are
you in there doing sometimes you want to make me spend more money don't you um sometimes at night
I get a little cold my unit would burn here in Florida if you kept it at 63 my unit would burn
out quickly and it's too cold I tell them that the room will be comfortable, but they can't set it below 74 as that as at that number. The room gets to 7072. I've lost booking
because I won't let them manage the thermostat, but it's okay as they won't pay $12,000 to replace
my HVAC. Gosh, I remember when my family first moved to Florida, my mom used box fans in the
windows and refused to turn on the AC. When passed away my dad closed all the windows and turned on the AC in the heat. She was brutally frugal
So now he's like, you know, I mean honestly you could live with box fans
You can honestly do it with box fans. My grandma did and she died of dehydration
of dehydration. Muddy says, 63 is way too low, even when the guests are home.
Somewhere between 68 and 72 is considered
to be the average temps at which the majority of people
feel comfortable.
So I would invest in a way to lock the thermostat
so that you can control from an app
so you can adjust it reasonably at guest requests
if they find it a bit too cold or warm.
So now remote access to the temperature.
We've got remote access.
You can be out enjoying a nice
imbibing on some Pappy Van Winkle
at the local bar and you decide
I'm a little drunk.
I'm going to fuck with my tenants a little bit
and you can just jack the heat up on
them in the middle of the night.
That's fucking fun.
Can I also kind of point out that the other part
of that post is that they can call you
and ask you to turn it up.
Yeah.
Why do you want that?
Yeah.
Why do you want that to happen?
So you can tell them no.
I think that they'll just ignore the call probably.
They think it's going to like dissuade the people from doing it I guess.
But yeah, I mean just a minute.
Calling somebody to ask them to turn the temperature up.
What's interesting because now we go to Jacko who's a monitor.
He goes even that it's even then it's not exactly warm.
I always have my AC at home set at 78 and I work from home
So I live at that temperature 63 is completely bonkers tell the renters immediately in the future try to develop a system
That doesn't allow renters to be so cavalier with your AC and fuel bill 78 too high
78 is insane 70 is too high. That's like 20
High 78 is insane. 70 is too high. That's like 20
That's 25 degree 25 to 26 degrees Celsius
So, I mean that is like that imagine living in that constantly that's way too hot sweaty
Guy responses the temperature outside shouldn't really have anything to do with the thermostat
63 is 63 whether it's 75 degrees or 100 degrees The AC has to work harder to maintain the thermostat temperature if it's really hot out
And walking in it. This is so good. This is such a primo real estate guy
Paragraph that it's just good. You're gonna love it and walking into a place that's
Refrigerated to 63 degrees from an outside temp of a hundred is actually not good for people physically
I'm actually worried. I'm trying to help them
There's gonna get sick yeah, they're gonna get sick. They're gonna get a hypothermia
And then and then I got to deal with the fall and then I got a sick person
I don't want a sick person living here. Are you kidding me? It's so sick
It's so cool that you said that because the next line is there's a reason why
people who are suffering from hypothermia need to be warmed slowly.
Oh, so there's an actual hypothermia reference in there. I thought I was joking.
Going from one extreme temperature to another is hard on one's body.
And Cece says, I have a home in the Palm Desert and I let the guests know that
to set the AC to 80 when they're away from the house.
I think 65 is too low.
I don't even set it to that when I'm there.
I don't give a fuck what you said it to when you're there.
Yeah, what does it have to do?
People are different.
It's one of the big things about stand-up comedy
that I learned in the 80s is that men and women
are very different when it comes to how hot
they want the bedroom and all of a sudden she's,
oh, you're not cold.
Maybe that's because you got all the blankets, sweetie.
You know, because she's stealing the blankets from you.
But I do.
It's like she forgot everything.
Kevin James taught us, you know, she forgot everything.
The big daddy James and his brother, Gary Valentine taught us about men and women being
different, but yeah, it's, it's different for everyone.
People have different body temperatures.
People regulate differently, you know, so people want it, wanted a different temperature.
It doesn't matter what yours is.
All right. I have a few more.
I know we might go a little longer this time because I have a few more that I think need to be.
Amir, do you have do you have anywhere you need to be?
No, no, I love hearing these.
This is great.
Deerich says, yeah, but is it private?
Curious if anyone else has these questions posed to them.
We're considering booking, but just wondering how private this is. is like can you see your house or another house from the cabin or how private is?
The cabin or how many yards is the guest cabin from the main cabin we get these questions periodically and they make us suspect
What do you plan to do that you desire not to be seen by man?
not to be seen by man nor the
Talking about You you don't understand the concept of people wanting privacy on a vacation
Who the fuck are these people Brian who are these fucking people do they like walk around and
Interact with people I told you they're evil
Like so crazy that's so crazy like cuz that's of course that is such a concern and what people want you know
You know it's a could be they're going away for like a I know like you know my my wife
And I we have a kid say we went away on a vacation. It's supposed to be some romantic getaway
We're only have two days away. We want to have that privacy. You know and it's like that's all of a sudden wrong
I don't want a guy in a cabin watching me and my wife kiss. I don't know. Is that so crazy?
Crazy I don't want you to be able to see me and my wife and then it's just like yeah
What's that guy and and it sounds to me?
Like you would be leering because you're like you are like already saying I'm
Suspicious of what they're up to so you're that kind of
Person who would have binoculars. Yeah, I'm on the window
I'm at their window with my like shielding my eyes and looking in what what are they trying to hide?
I don't get it what I
I'm looking there and it's like they seem to be closing the fucking curtains
As soon as I
look in there. What are you trying to hide from me?
We get a response that says maybe they like to have sex outdoors or they want to sneak
in a pet or extra guests. And I'm surprised at how many cabin listings in the countryside
I see that have no window coverings. Like the host thinks just because it's in the countryside
and private with lovely views, the guests will be okay feeling like they're living in a fishbowl. So that's respond
That's a response at somebody coming from the other side to say like yeah that this is
Privacy is a is a natural human instinct. It's something that we we definitely longed for at times, you know, yeah, I
Don't believe I don't believe that so okay this person says uh
Maybe guys are peeing outside
And that's why yeah, that's a good thought that could be the reason yeah, cuz yeah, they're like hey before I
I love watching these guys brainstorm, man
Yeah, yeah, maybe there's people who like, yeah, they're like, oh, fuck, are you going
to book that honey?
And it's just like, oh, yeah, yeah, I was just about to book it.
And oh, just, could we ask about the private?
You know how I like to, you know, drain my lizard outdoors.
Maybe we get, just give a little message to see if we're going to have privacy so I can
piss outdoors. I will say that I used to piss off my back porch and my old apartment
Yeah, when I picked up smoking again
I would go outside to smoke and I would just stand on the thing and piss off to the side into the yard
So it could be a grass
You would
Consider that then maybe if you were going to an Airbnb, I love peeing outside
It does feel great
It's great. You don't even have to hold your dick or anything. You can just stand there. You just free bow. No, it's great
Yeah, you know what this comment has more merit than I realized as I'm talking about it. I'm like actually yeah
I do want to fucking piss outside. Yeah, wait a second. Wait a second. Yeah, they're right.
This could be one of the main reasons
why people are asking this.
We said correct it.
Being outside rips.
The response is, I don't believe that when guys pee outside,
they consider it a private activity.
They consider it normal guy stuff.
And as every guy I've known just turns their back
to anyone who happens to be around,
unzips and pees if they feel the urge while outside
I guess I consider it normal guy behavior, too
So I doubt a guess would ask about how private a listing is just because they like to pee off of a deck
Thanks, I mean the yeah, I've even done a soccer piss before you guys ever heard of a soccer piss before no no
A soccer piss is because you play on us and out in the soccer field and you're all wide open
There's like you'll be on like a bunch of different fields, so there's nowhere to go to piss
You know what I'm saying, but you got a piss so you just go on one knee
And then you open your shorts up and your underwear like pull it to one side, and you just literally piss
Oh, I do that too. Yeah, you just piss out the bottom of it and no one can see you or anything
Like that. It was like it was like a necessity
You'd have to do a soccer piss because it's like the yeah, the washrooms and trees are too far away in the game, you know
Here's another reason maybe additional reasons nudist famous having an affair body conscious and one two sunbathe
Yeah
Famous is very funny.
Yeah, it's a famous person that's
fucking the Airbnb.
Or I mean a nudist.
We know all about nudists.
We did an episode on nudist guys.
So we know all about them.
And yeah, they're an odd bunch.
And I would think that they would.
There would be a possibility of nudists
going on vacations in Airbnb's
I mean a lot of them are doing things like RVing and stuff like that, you know
There's nothing wrong with what well, I mean, you know
But now I sound like I'm defending nudists and then people are but there's nothing wrong with being a nudist that an Airbnb
No, well hang on
Hang on. I am thinking about it now. I'm thinking about things like sitting on the couch
Nudists you know nudists carry towels around
Sitting towels and everything they have their sitting towels obviously and their covers and stuff
But I would have a little bit of a concern like if I I wouldn't I wouldn't want a nudist saying I would be worried about their bear
Fucking anus being pressed up against my furniture that would be I guess I would discriminate against nudists
Yeah, I might discriminate against nudists or I would say like
You can't that hey that fucking balloon. Nod of yours. It better not come anywhere near my goddamn
Coach all right
this person says we live in a fishbowl with walls of glass in every room we're on a mountain top
with no neighbors no curtains of any kind anyone who needs darkness more than the lack of lights
at night can bring a sleep mask seeing stars sunrises sunsets and the vast wilderness view
is a plus for our home.
Anyone seeing it would need to be flying.
Those are birds.
We appeal to nature lovers."
So she's just like, we don't want to give you a curtain.
That's fair though.
That's a different situation.
She's just bragging about how nicer her house is.
How sick your pad is.
And that is though, that's a different situation I feel like.
If you are literally in the middle of nowhere and there is nothing else around or nobody else around then I
can see you don't need curtains you know we got two more here the first one is
from Lenick 4442 and he says I have guests that are staying for a week they
left for a couple days and then returned fully paid for my Airbnb is a suite
above my home it's disclosed that I live below so I would notice if guests don't come home and honestly
I do worry if they don't come home
Mommy land very sweet very
This is kind of cute like it is overbearing but in like more of a sweet motherly kind of way though
You know, but it is too much like, you know, like way too much
I just text messages like everything going okay, like, you know, like you need somebody to come pick you up like it's
Are you okay?
Are you near a phone?
Well, this guy's is gonna real estate guy the shit out of this though by promise
I do worry if they don't come home for the night while I realize it's not really my business
I think it would be considerate for them to have let me know that they would be gone for a couple of days
I would park my car in a more obvious spot and lock up the front entrance, too
I'm trying to decide if I should leave a private note to them in the review to let them know it would have been courteous
To let me know I have no intentions of docking them for not telling me, but this is not
I don't think you could I don't think you would I don't think you would have any
Legal precedent or standing too. I don't think you could say hey
I'm gonna charge you more because you left at one point
Can I say that I did that in Alaska by the way when I said this could be me and
Katie in Alaska because we spent one night at a resort a crappy one
But we spent we paid for the Airbnb for the week
And then we spent one night out at a resort where they took you to a mountain and you can look for the Aurora Borealis
But you told the host you told didn't tell them why would I tell the host?
I don't know what do you mean so that they know where that they can park their car in a better place perhaps for the Aurora Borealis. But you told the host. You told the host. Didn't tell the host. Why would I tell the host?
I don't feel like I can.
Well what do you mean?
So that they know that they can park their car
in a better place perhaps?
Yeah.
What if they wanted to come with you
and maybe experience a moment of magic
with you and your wife?
What if they wanted to hang out or something like that?
And what if they were just worried
about what you were doing?
God.
They don't know what you're getting into. Drugs maybe. They don't know if you're okay. They don't know if you're safe. They don't know what you're getting into.
Drugs maybe.
They don't know if you're okay,
they don't know if you're safe,
they don't know if you've gotten into a bad part of town
maybe and you're lost.
Maybe you're hanging out with a bad crew, a bad company.
You might have fallen in with a bad crowd,
they don't know.
Bruisers.
You might be with some bruisers at a local music show.
Yeah, slicking your hair back,
wearing a leather jacket, beating up guys.
God.
Honey, there's bruisers all over this town
and if you don't let us know,
we just assume that you've been victimized by bruisers.
You don't understand how many of our tenants
we've lost to bruisers.
And when we don't hear back from you.
People come here to visit and then they live here as bruisers for the rest of their lives
The one of the bruisers who killed one of the last tenants was an old tenant of mine
And he was so old and I hated him
Finally here's the last one. This is from Luop and they're asking a question.
I'm not going to read the title yet because I think if I just read the thing it's where
we switched from using refillable shampoo and conditioner bottles. Now we're returning
to the single use. More sanitary. No chance of somebody urinating in them. Anyone concerned
this could happen to you? Anybody concerned that somebody will piss into the shampoo bottles?
I had never really thought of it, I guess, if I'm being honest.
It was never really something I'd considered.
I guess. Yeah, the only time I've thought of pissing in a shampoo bottle
is hearing this post right now. Yeah.
Now is the first this is the first time it's ever crossed my mind.
And it's obviously putting it in my head.
It did put it in my head.
I'm not joking.
I like literally thought about it.
And it's like it quickly went through and I was like, no,
I don't I don't need to do that.
You know what I mean?
Like it was quickly like, oh, there's no real benefit to that.
Like you evaluated it and you're like, no.
Yeah, I don't think I have to do that.
Why would I would presume it would be somebody would be doing that too?
Because they're mad at you or whatever
No, I don't know this reply goes pee in a bottle of shampoo. Are you serious?
What a bizarre concern put a dispenser on the wall of the shower
If you really think someone would do that and if someone did that's not ever likely to happen again
So going to single-use bottles makes no sense. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you
At least somebody came in there with like a reasonable bucket
So I guess they probably took the advice and they accepted and said, you know, I agree
Maybe I'll just go back to the shampoo bottles. So a few people call it a tall tale is what they were saying
This person respond the original poster response says tall tale. Lol. Y'all know packaged food comes with tamper-free lids
Do y'all know why?
When we switch the okay, so this this person
This person's not not well, I don't think this person is
Is well because I think that they're like, you know know what I mean? I think they've fallen into the thing,
they might be obsessive compulsive or something like that,
or they've fallen into something
where they have this obsession
with things being tampered with or whatever, right?
Because nobody thinks of the tamper-free,
I never consider that anymore.
I think when I was a kid,
somebody opened up a Tylenol,
before they put the thing in the little
Yeah, somebody like opened up a Tylenol bottle
I remember when I was really young and there was some big thing where was all over the news
Yeah, it was like this. Yeah the idea of like making sure it's like but I haven't thought about that in a long time
You know, can I posit another theory that this person is just on Facebook and like
these kind of sort of conspiracies
are so big over there that people are worried
about things that aren't really there.
But it's like when my in-laws are like,
I'll never come to your house, it's dangerous there.
It's Columbus, Ohio.
You know what I mean?
I don't live in fucking Manhattan.
I live
So like they live the in-laws live in a chicken coop and they shit into a bucket
Which is unsafe for me, that's not not that's true. That's 100% true
Yeah If those chickens turn if those chickens turn on you I wouldn't like it. I'll tell you the surface it does seem more
If those chickens turn if those chickens turn on you I don't know and I'm also thinking about I've seen a lot of incidences of foxes and whatnot going into the chicken
Oh, he did have themselves a little snack, you know
he goes, uh
When we switched to refill bottles, it did make me think twice because of the possibility. Then I read a story.
Maybe it happened, maybe not.
The way the story was told, I think you'd be a fool to think it would not happen to
your Airbnb.
We switched to larger refill bottles because we had complaints.
The print was so small and light print, many folks needed glasses to read, which is-
Now get them out.
I don't even want them staying at my place anyway.
... glasses.
Muddy says, I'm trying to picture a guy choosing a shampoo bottle
Which usually have an openings about three-quarters of an inch across to pee in unless their equipment was an especially tiny little thing
They'd end up peeing all over their hand. Oh shit. So this guy's saying the only way you could do that is with the straight micro
I love this. I thought the riff was dead. I'll be honest. I thought the riff was dead. I'm glad to see it's been resurrected
I've run across some small ones in my life
I've run across some small ones in my life, but never that small except on my newborn grandson
Like listen I have a newborn son, you know he's four months. Yeah, he's got a tiny little dick, but you don't talk about
Talk about their dick size until they're like 17 and then you're like how's the dick
going it's a long way off for me so I don't know you know I'll leave it up to
him how comfortable he is discussing his dick size with me but you're not
supposed to want your little baby and be like I bet you could piss into a shampoo bottle couldn't you look at you with that
little micro cock you got you little fuck
sometimes I do that sometimes I do that it makes area really bad I'm like look
at your tiny little fucking dick your little micro I mean there is the possibility that
somebody comes and stays at the Airbnb with their son with the tiny penis and
has them pee in the shampoo bars of course did you by any chance get any
fucking annoying messages beforehand asking about family friendly fucking
places in the area cuz then I'm sure that's what's happened
Last thing here. It's from our slash Airbnb house, and this is just special for the show
Many swingers rent Airbnb for sex parties. What have been the consequences for hosts?
Well, I would say if you have leather furniture, I would imagine many holes in the leather furniture. That's from stiletto heels
They should say that they have that's a big issue in sex clubs is there stiletto heels
You're not allowed to put them on the furniture
Now yeah, this is we talked about just to be clear
We talked about swingers like every week on the stream. We we do these tours of sex clubs and stuff
So it's like it's a big part of the show
Take off the select if you're staying here
You're gonna need to take off your stilettos if you're going to fucking suck on the couch
Say you're standing up on the couch well like a shorter gentleman
You know eats your pussy you want to take your stiletto heels off first
Yeah, he's not even gonna be able to get up there if you don't take your heels off
It's you gotta get the heels off from this guy's five two and he and he's he's got a real nice tongue game
Big cock he could never piss in a shampoo bottle this guy
And then finally the guy goes I had a mom's weekend booked and it ended up being a swinger party
They had a good time. LOL. First of all, I don't know how he
Listen, how does he know they had a swinger party?
fluid cleanup I
Mean did they leave a ton of condoms? I guess maybe
Around the whole thing maybe just the general smell. Yeah when they come in the mosque that they
Yeah, like a wall of heat, you know like when you like hit that like and it's but it's a smell it's a mosque
Yeah
One of the bed frames broken half and there were occasionally naked slash near naked people wandering by on the wall
Well this on the well disclosed marked obvious outdoor cameras, but otherwise the check cleared and no neighbors complained. So it's cool
We did not get to the cameras Airbnb recently banned cameras in in in
Fuck how you supposed to fucking watch every move of the tenant. How you gonna look at us?
How do you know if they had a good time at the sex party?
How am I gonna know what they were doing
in the bedroom at night?
How am I gonna whack off to them having tons of sex
in my apartment?
Excuse me, am I supposed to imagine it?
You're gonna get rid of the cameras and Airbnbs?
Well, what am I supposed to whack off to
amateur porn they're not really amateur god those women those videos i've never even
i've never spoken to them before
it's like a personal connection yeah like a personal connection that I only I'm aware of.
Yeah, it's my house. So if you know, I keep it at 78 degrees
and I watch to see if there's any fucking or sucking going on.
And then if in my listing, I oftentimes in my listing, I'll say,
please go ahead and fucking.
I love it.
And sometimes I'll notice if they're like, if they got too too many clothes on I'll just fucking crank the heat up, you know
Those things off
I'll turn the air conditioner on a few guys fuck in front
Straight up I want to do it
Like the saw movie. I will turn the air conditioning up if you suck him now
This is really horrifying and the really horrifying thing about it is the thing is like, you know
There is a large amount of fucking Airbnb hosts who are like doing legitimately
fucking creepy camera things
Serious nasty shit like that and it's that really I'm never staying in an air be 60%
Yeah, yeah 60% easy are filming and masturbating to the tenants. I'm never staying in an Airbnb ever again in my life
I'm not joking freaked you out. It got me too. I was like I actually were ending the episode
But I was like I never really liked them before at all
But I really fucking hate them now like Jesus Christ. What is going on with their nosy as fuck?
I didn't realize how nosy they were I had always kind of thought like well, they're happy they rented the place out
You know what I mean?, well, they're happy. They rented the place out. You know what I mean?
And people stay there.
Yeah, they're making tons of money.
I thought they were turning a blind eye to all this.
They're just enjoying the money.
Like hotels.
I think that they maybe have one bad experience
or something like that, you know what I mean?
And then they become just psychotic with it,
become so worried or whatever.
But I think, honestly, a lot of them are really bad.
Like from what reading, they seem like bad people, like really bad, bad people
who like don't really care about other people or whatever, you know,
nasty, nosy freaks.
And we do not like these guys.
These guys will probably come up a lot on what we have, a guy
that Chris has a video of that could come up on a stream
But uh, he's the worst. He's a real estate investor and he is the worst
Yeah, so we're gonna get out of here Armour tell people where to find you
You can find me on Instagram at real exciting and that's my main thing right now
I stopped using Twitter after turned into X
Well, I started using it more because a lot of people quit I was like, hmm
I'm not on a very thing in common. Yeah, I'm not on it much either. I'm not really hitting the X either
But also um, are you have a do you have a something is coming out or yes?
comedy special Come out july 6
6 I don't know when this is gonna come out, but it's art this yeah the special is out already no matter
I don't know matter what so yeah, I'm called. Please don't kill me. It's on YouTube
And I am happy with it.
Please watch it.
Very, very, very funny.
And Amor is I mean, you guys heard him on.
You could tell that he's funny, but his standup is really funny.
I did comedy with him when I,
you know, back when I did comedy in Vancouver, comedy and I
were a modern day court jester.
I was sort of a bit of a samurai who would basically slice up any target that was placed in front of me. Yes
destroyed hecklers
Robing the land
Yes, but I always I always found ummer to be one of the funniest dudes and he's doing super well in comedy
And you all should check out his special. It's super funny. I was at an open mic with him
That's where I ran into him and asked him to come on this very podcast
And he told a joke that I was one of my favorite jokes that I've heard in a long time
I'm not gonna say it. I'm not gonna repeat it, but it was so fucking funny
So go go check him out support him. Thanks, man. Yeah
I'm sorry to bring you on though the worst people
It's a good thing because people like the episodes where the people are really bad
Yeah, I really enjoyed how fucked up all these people are I think we really never gonna stay in an Airbnb
Never yeah, I think we learned that Airbnb. I mean, I think I learned that they don't consider them the same as a hotel
Yeah, and then what that entails is
they can be as creepy and fucking nosy as they want to be because it's their house because it's
their place. Yeah, my home. Why can't I look at a camera of my home that I fucking paid for? Yeah,
that's like the mentality of it. Every Sunday night at 8 p.m. Eastern, me and Chris do the Sunday night stream.
You can also get those on demand on the Patreon,
patreon.com slash murderxbrian.
And that's twitch.tv slash murderxbrian for the streams.
Come there, it's free.
You don't have to pay for a subscription.
You can watch live for free.
But if you are on our Patreon,
there are probably 50 swinger club tours
with Tom and Bunny and I think you'll really like them and you'll really hate
them and you'll watch one of them and you'll say oh I don't actually want to
be a patron of the podcast at all anymore so who knows please just go on
and look for the Tom broke his dick stream yeah watch that one where he
describes how he broke his dick and then had to fix it like seven or eight times because he had
Too much sex. Yeah, definitely watch that
And you'll learn about the AMS 700 implant. We will see you all next week. Goodbye
Bye