Guys: With Bryan Quinby - Guys: Episode 83 - Rotten Tomatoes Guys with Jon Gabrus

Episode Date: September 3, 2024

We brought Jon Gabrus back, this time we talked about some total weirdos: Rotten Tomatoes Guys. What is Aaron Eckhart up to? Are there Aaron Eckhart guys? Could I do an Aaron Eckhart Guys episode? Now that we have the Aaron Eckhart conversation out of the way we read some reviews. So I hope the movie theater is the exact right temperature and that you don't mind evil talk! See Gabrus with the Action Boyz Saturday, September 7th at 7:30pm PT get tickets at  http://live.actionboyz.biz See Guys Live in October bit.ly/top3weekendon 10/11 and 10/12 we will be performing at the Biltmore Cabaret in Vancouver. Come hang out with, Chris an I and the Blocked Party guys!!! There is much more Chris at twitter.com/thecjs and of course https://www.patreon.com/notevenashow And for more Guys content, streams and SHOCKTOBER: a deep dive into shock jocks you can click patreon.com/murderxbryan twitter.com/murderxbryan and  https://bsky.app/profile/murderxbryan.bsky.social   Guys is on Instagram! https://www.instagram.com/guys.pod Guys has a Post Office Box now! PO Box 10769 Columbus Ohio 43201

Hey guys. Pretty clever what I did there. It's Chris here, the slightly more annoying one from the podcast. I do the editing so I can put any message I want at the beginning. Brian's not going to re-edit. He probably won't even listen. So I'm using this time to let you know about the official guys Instagram account, guys.pod on Instagram. Follow us. We do posts, we do stories, a podcast about guys. I am Brian and with me is a guy with a very low audience score, Chris James. Hey buddy. And that doesn't have a 43%. That's a really bad one too.

Cause when it's really low, it's almost like interest. Oh, maybe I'll check this one out. Everyone hate it, but 43 is just like, no, this is going to be a bad film most likely. I think I'll get into this, but my main conspiracy theory, I maybe have mentioned it before, is that the audience score has been compromised

and they're able to now, because they're just so high now, it's absurd. Well, let's bring on a guest. We have my buddy, third guest on the show ever, John Gabris. Hey, John. Hey, thanks for having me back as a guy. Love to get together with a couple of guys and talk about guys. If I tell you guys the reason I said Chris had a forty four forty three percent rotten tomato score, some

literally staring at a 44 percent rotten tomato store and I was scoring. I was like, oh, fuck it. You know, it was or why would someone go to the rotten tomatoes? Right. I wouldn't think of the fresh tomatoes. I was hoping to get some fresh tomatoes. You're going to want to go to the store next. You get a lot of different store.

But I'm looking at the review of a meat bill that I found that somebody did. What is that? That stars Aaron Eckhart, Jessica Alba and Elizabeth Banks. And he has like a weird haircut in it, right? Or something like that. I believe so. Yeah, on the cover. Well, Aaron Eckhart's cool now because he only does cool movies where he like is

Like I'd so weird he was like the thank-you-for-smoking guy remember and now all of a sudden every time I turned on He's holding like a big gun But I think that he makes a lot of bad movies too Doesn't he isn't he one of those guys that just makes a bunch of those movies that you've never really heard of before or am I? Getting that wrong. I like the guy but he there's never been a like, oh, shit, is Aaron Eckhart in this? I'll be there. You know, like, like, I don't like I. But the most recent Aaron Eckhart shit I saw that really, really opened up my eyes was a it was on Hulu.

I opened it up and it was a dog movie and it was called. Oh, fuck. I wish I could remember what it was called muzzle muzzle He has it was called muzzle and it says like a dog with a dark past and a guy team I'm like the dog has a weird past I've yet to watch it, but I do feel like it's like police dog gets killed guy. That's what I mean Yeah, I feel like he's like police dog gets killed guy. That's what I mean. Yeah. I feel like he makes a lot of movies like that. You know, like they aren't a big, they don't make it to the theaters or whatever.

I do want to be clear that the only reason I saw the dark night is because Aaron Eckhart was in it. Oh yeah. He's great in the dark night. Of course. I don't remember. He is. He's really good.

He's two-faced in it, right? Yeah. He's Harvey good. He's two faced in it, right? Yeah, he's he's Harvey Dent. Yeah. Yeah. Of station is another is 2024 movie is called Chief of Station. Yeah. And he's just holding a gun. And I may miss that one. Although I guarantee based on my awful taste for like I have, I now have fully without ever having a child, I have fully settled into like old man dad

taste and I bet you Chief of Station is about like a guy who thinks outside the box in the deep state or whatever. And I'd be on I'm probably on board 100% if I actually watched too many. Hey, when someone's thinking inside the box, you know, it's going to get you staying in the box. There's no way out of the box if you don't start thinking outside of it. He also was in something called erased, but the cover says the expatriate. Oh, one of those ones got the old late rename. Yeah, those are all that's always indicative

of a great film. I think the only time that's ever edge of tomorrow had a different name and that was actually a great, great movie. But yeah, I think usually that's indicative of a really bad movie. Now we can talk about Aaron Eckhart the whole time? Yeah, that's technically a guy. So he does fit under Aaron Eckhart. Guys is such a funny. We just found a bunch of dudes who really love Aaron Eckhart. We're going to fucking lampoon their little.

I wonder if you could even like if there would be if there's is there an Aaron Eckhart subreddit? There is. Okay. There's a murder Brian subreddit. Chris, remember that one you go to and it makes you mad. I don't go to it anymore. It's like somebody posted it in the discord one time saying, I don't know why everyone hates Chris on the Reddit. And so I was like, well, I gotta go look at it. And then I was like, Oh man. Uh, but no, well, I got to go look at it. And then I was like, oh, man.

But no, I think I went back. I think I've looked at it twice or three times maybe in my life. And one of the times there was a nice thing. Someone saying nice stuff about me, too. So I do have to say that. Well, once a quarter, I once a quarter, I realize I'm riding kind of high spiritually and emotionally. And then I'll search my name on Reddit and just bring myself back down to earth.

No, yeah, no, everyone fucking hates you for some reason. That's what I was going to say to you, because you've been in stuff. Do you even go to Rotten Tomato? I wouldn't even go to Rotten Tomatoes if I'd been in anything. No, I fuck Rotten Tomatoes. I've never used it. I used to think that the audience score metric, just knowing that was always kind of interesting.

But I also don't listen to reviewers who I respect. You know what I mean? Reviewers whose opinions I'm like, oh, yeah, Bilga Abiri. I still don't. If he says the movie sucks, I still like, I'll let you know if I think it sucks. But I'm not going to listen to like 10,000 mouth breathers with dial-ups as to like what I should rent or not rent. Some people say it's not even them doing it either that there's some sort of computer system that's managed to, you know, make the audience score completely.

I think I'm going to prove that there are people definitely reviewing stuff on Rotten Tomatoes for you. Yeah, there are. I mean, they're definitely. And I just want to say, I'm a huge, people know, probably listen to podcasts. I'm a huge movie guy. I watch movies. You've seen seven, eight movies. I mean, I go very regularly. I've seen all the police academies. I'm teaching. Now that's movies. I don't think I definitely have not been all of the police. I'm wanting them to make new police academies like I.

It's propaganda, Brian. It's fucking. Yeah. Tackleberry is not real. Let's talk about Brooklyn Nine Nine, guys. I'm just kidding. I just I really do use Rotten Tomatoes, though, as a moviegoer. I will say that it is it is the thing I go to when I'm looking at a movie. I mean, I watch it no matter what Tomatoes though as a moviegoer. I will say that it is it is the

thing I go to when I'm looking at a movie. I mean I watch it no matter what based on the director or whatever but I do trust that the the like if it has a lot of reviews from a lot of critics and it's pretty high generally those movies I tend to like it tends to align with me you know. If a movie has bad scores, and I check it on Rotten Tomatoes, the next thing I do is go read like, some of the audience and so and if they say boring, then I'm like, I'm not watching that. You know what I mean? Like, as soon as somebody says a movie is boring, and it's bad, because a lot of like critics like boring movies, and they're like, Oh, man, that was great boring movies and they're like oh man that was great yeah they're

like it was like did you notice like the subtle references you know and it's like no I wanted fucking some shit happening yeah I see I want to see these killers kill that flower moon for crying out yeah what the hell man that movie does have a lot of killing in it. Oh, does it? I didn't watch it because I didn't think there'd be. Oh, there's killing. I'll tell you what, for hours and 45 minutes, it's horrifying. It's it's very funny at times. It's it's a really I couldn't believe it wasn't boring. Like, yeah, it was very, very well.

I really, really enjoyed that movie. I mean, enjoyed maybe again is the wrong term. And you know, horrifying kind of movie. I mean, enjoyed maybe again is the wrong term. And you like horrifying kind of movie. Not everything that was done in it was very. Yeah, I agree with a lot of the stuff. I read the book and cheered along most of the time. That's how Chris is too. So I found this guy, Carter C, who who is reviewing Finding Nemo.

And I was like, what's he got to say? And he had an interesting and interesting theory and goes, this is four stars. And he goes, this movie started the classic story idea of getting lost and finding your way back home. And even that started it. Really? Like, what about homeward bound with animals and that predates finding Nemo, no less ones with humans in them. Like I feel like this is like 15 percent of movies for 100 years where like we got to get home.

I think that's what the premise of the Warriors is. Yeah, I think it's a well tread upon topic. It's the road history, probably in books and stuff as well, even before movies came to be just maybe in casual storytelling in like, you know, the Bible. I. Bible is not a movie. This is Right to it though. Right, Brian, you're gonna shoot an adaptation of the Bible. Some close ones. There's been passion of the Christ. I think that's not biblical.

Oh, I never saw it. The sound of freedom. That's a Bible movie. Anyway, and even if the plot characters voice asking and humor is great and all that, it can get a bit babyish for all her kids or adults who watch this next big Pixar success. Well, you know, it's a kids film.

Yeah. At times, the lost fish kind of reads for a little too childlike. Like that. I mean, just saying that it happens sometimes. It's like, yeah, like you. So you does have adult parts. There were parts where that wasn't happening because that's surprising. You know, that part where Nemo has to give a head at gunpoint in order to say.

Whistlers got a four and a half star rating from Carter. But what is it? I love whistlers. Oh, I like Brian and I both. OK, Gabers, you like to. Oh, yeah, Brian. I know it's like this big, dumb fucking movie was so fun to watch, like a big, dumb movie.

I wish I'm so happy that big, dumb movies like I want it to do well. Like I like Trap and that's a big, dumb. I loved Trap Gabris. I love Trap. I went and saw an opening night. I loved it. But it was too many false endings, probably, in my opinion. 100 percent. But like other than that, then just the parts in the thing, It's just it's all played for laughs. And I fucking love

it. Yeah, I had such a blast. His review of Twisters is it's somewhat predictable and unoriginal, but this disaster film carries amazing performances, visual effects, characters, story, and terrifying action scenes, making this one making this one one of the most intense films I've ever watched. This guy is like really like this a 14 year old, right? He hasn't watched a lot of intense movies because it is like it's got some moments in it, but it's not it's not I wouldn't call it like an intense movie.

I would say it's it's slightly less of a kid's movie than Finding Nemo. It doesn't even have any dreams in it or anything. Well, now this next one, I know you guys Chris, you might have seen it, Gaber. You had to have what skyscraper with the horse? I loved it. That was my that was that was when I was on my rock shit. Where was that other one with the big, big gorillas? Yeah, I was just watching everything that he was doing.

Is skyscraper the one with Dario in it as well? Alexander Dario, I think that's I think it is. Skyscraper is the one where he is like a helicopter pilot who's a hero and like, you know, it's one of of those there's no way that job would be that jacked. You would be detrimental to be that big and operate a helicopter. But I was like, yeah, he was at his best. Well, now has there been a harder fall off in your mind for him and Van Wilder are such epic fall offs from like,

when they first came out, I was like, okay, this is fun. We have like a little goofy little movie star here. And now he's like, I'm going to change the power dynamic of the DC universe. And you're like, oh, you got the wrong attitude about movies, I think. Well, I'm like, when you said Van Wilder, I'm like the biggest Ryan Reynolds fan.

And Chris gets all mad about that. I hate Reynolds, he's a Van, we hate him in Van. Yeah, yeah'm like the biggest Ryan Reynolds fan and Chris Reynolds. He's a Vancouver. We hate him in Vancouver. Yeah. Yeah. You're a Canadian. So you're allowed to live in like Vancouver. He's from Vancouver. Like he is the he's the Vancouver celebrity. You know, like some I've talked to several people in Vancouver that said, you're you're actually probably right. You know, I'm the minority. I would have met. I saw Deadpool and Wolverine to be. And I got it. I got to quote my wife as soon as the movie ended. She turned to me and went perfect movie.

And I was like, what? I was so shocked. My wife looked at me and was like, that fight scene in the car was too long and boring. And I was like, it was a fight scene, though, at least like she got bored. She was bored at the fight scenes. And then the other day we were talking about it just like we were kind of just chatting about it.

And she was like, I know who any of those people were. And like when when they started to bring in the cameo, she's like, guys next to me were just going fucking ape shit because I saw it. I saw it. I saw it on opening night at eight o'clock. I dress, or that bit like where I because I do. Oh, I do own a Deadpool shirt where it's him smoking weed.

And it's like a baby Deadpool sitting on top of a Nike symbol. It says just hit it. That's kind of like what you base your religion around, right? I do have some Deadpool and Wolverine reviews. We can read Colleen's review who gave it a half star and said, I didn't get to see the movie because I was away. And then they wouldn't let me exchange the ticket. You don't get to do it on the internet. Fandango wouldn't let me exchange the tickets. It's like this. You don't get to do a review of it. She gives it a half star and she didn't see it?

That's what's wrong with the entire system. You have to review Fandango on the Ticketmaster app. We all know. You have to reach out to the BBB. You have to go to Better Business Bureau and you have to do a Quora. You can't do this review. You're not, it's not applicable. These are my favorite reviews in the world.

We read a lot of reviews on the Ticketmaster app. Yeah, it's a new thing. Yeah, oh, my God. Some bands have like 4000 reviews and you can just scroll through and they're all like this. Oh, wow. These are their night of often as well, you know, at the venue or whatever. So she goes, I missed the deadline by less than five minutes. Sorry, I have a life and couldn't get on quick enough. After we

use our other tickets for the next movie, I will be canceling my account and deleting the app. Things happen. So you got there late and you're like, sorry, I have a life. Well, it's like, OK, but you get to shoot that you missed out on it. That's that's what the world is. You know, let me check in with with Nicola and not sure if it's only me or what. But it was really cold in the movie theater at Vox. No, this is a half star. Listen, I can't. That's not fair to Marvel at Disney.

I can't control that. Come on, be nice to Disney, would you? Yeah, give Disney a break. Come on, they're having a tough time these days. I want the movie theater to be cold, but I do find that this can be, you know, sometimes they'll over it. I've had that happen to me. My man. Yeah, but it's but it's really hot outside, you know, on the really

really hot days. So I'm literally in a I'm in like a linen t shirt and like shorts and then you go in there and it's it is too cold. I you gotta know though, I think I'm with I'm with Brian on this one. It they they are cold that movie theaters are cold. So I know I know I know how cold they are and I go and I don't want to have a fight with the guest again. I've been fighting with the guests a lot.

But I know how cold they are. It must be all the guest's fault. I know how cold the movie theaters are. Sometimes they go overboard a little bit. It's a little too cold. Do you know what I mean? You got to plan accordingly. You got to throw a little card again over in your purse or whatever and just be ready.

That's good. Yeah. And I and I and listen, I do that mostly. It's just sometimes, you know what I mean? Hey, sorry, I have a life and I don't always have time to throw a fucking cardigan in there. OK, well, wait, there's more to this half star review than that. Just came back from work, met my friends here, a bit tired and sleepy, writing this review while the movie's on.

So yes, I find it boring. The mix of popcorn I'm having is nice though, especially with the Pepsi Zero not feeling hungry anymore. Even though I skipped lunch. Sorry for nagging about that. That's a half star review. Wow. Writing it during the movie means you have not finished the film.

So you got to imagine, like, extrapolate out these two fucking freaks and how that just changes the authenticity or the believability of Rotten Tomatoes. There are people who are just like, I stubbed my toe in the bathroom, and that means that half of and because Deadpool is there, you know, you're like, what the fuck are these people's lives? Like, weird one. This is a one star for Deadpool.

Wolverine, the worst movie I have ever seen. I thought it would be nice to see though. I didn't watch Deadpool 1 and 2. I like Wolverine. What? I mean, it's the first two. It's just weird that you would go to the third one, but then I did forget Wolverine. There's the big time hardcore Wolverine X-Men fans who might go to it.

That really makes me laugh. Like unfamiliar with Deadpool and just being like, Oh, let's go check out the new Wolverine film with my favorite character, Wolverine, and just have the most annoying guy in the world. Not seeing the first two Deadpools and just being pumped that Wolverine and like, you're just like, can we get this guy with the fucking slim gym face off the fucking screen? Yeah, I get it. I get his whole shtick. It's like, is he going to stop? And like, I promise you, he's not. He's just never going to keep.

The other problem with Deadpool and Wolverine is that they can't be killed. So none of the action means anything through the whole entire movie. They just are stabbing each other and shooting each other and all kinds of stuff. Nothing means anything because neither one of them can be killed. My entire issue with Marvel in general is that nothing fucking matters anymore because it's like, well, let's just go back in time and do a time heist. And it's like, no, we'll just go to the alternate universe and get dead Captain America back to life. You know what I mean? This happened like with comics in general back in the day.

In books. And that's when I gave up on it, when it was like, oh, death of Superman. Whoa, intense. Well, actually, Superman is still alive. Don't worry. I got total sense because I didn't I wasn't I'm not smart enough to put my finger on it, but it's like it's obvious to everyone that something happened with these superhero movies where they like went off a cliff, you know Right. Yeah, and they're and they got to like restart it or like start a whole new thing or whatever

It's kind of gone to the end of it But you're right that's one of the main things is that it's like they've just done so much stuff and that you don't ever you don't care about anything anymore because Nothing is like nothing Finite and yeah, nothing. There are zero stakes like fucking our DJ is back like that like Finite and yeah, nothing. There are zero stakes like fucking RDJ is back. Like that, like people are like, yes, finally. Now, and is he back as the same character? No, that's what I'm wondering is Tony Stark is Tony Stark

like revived to become Dr. Doom or is that I don't think I don't think that's true. That's not like canon or anything like that. But isn't but isn't no one's is anyone going to comment on how much he looks like Tony Stark like in movies when he's apparently going to do his tropic thunder makeup so that he comes across that'll work. Yeah. Well, I know the second I get in that theater and he comes out, I'm like, he looks like Iron Man. Are they going to do prosthetics on his face for real or something? Or I think he wears a mask most of the time.

He's just always wearing a mask. But then why? Who cares that it's him? No, because I like Wolverine, but there was so much profanity and evil speaking in this movie. I lost count of all the profanity. If my car's battery wasn't dead, I probably would have left the drive-in theater Dead car battery watching a movie Trying to fucking like calling the V. Ah, what the fuck, you know

Use of triple a right in that moment, too, as roadside assistance doesn't help them. Oh, this movie sucks. Do you have any jumper cables? Try to get the guy next to him to agree that the movie. The guy's like wearing like a full Deadpool fucking outfit. He's like really into it. The reason I didn't see this movie, I just want to say, is because Brian loves Deadpool.

And he told, I was like, hey, how was the movie? When he went open at night and he's like, it would like had some really strong parts. You know, he gave the classic response of a guy who wanted to like it, but really did not like it that much. I didn't hate it. I expected to hate it, but they didn't. To be honest, my review of the movie is I came in ready to hate it. Did not like the last couple of Deadpool movies.

But Hugh Jackman brings actual gravitas to the movie. In a way, it's almost as if they were like, okay, every scene with Hugh Jackman alone is emotional and interesting. And then every scene with Van Wilder is just goofy bullshit. And also, I'll say it's the reason I didn't like is because ugly. It's just the hideous movie that looks like it's not a good looking film in the same airplane hangar. Like it all looks like it was filmed in the same place.

My dad told me, sorry, but my dad told me he hated it, but it was because it was way too violent and then that made me kind of want to watch it because I like super violent. I do. I love it. Yeah. The highlight joke of the movie is the Chris Evans joke. I will leave it out for listeners of guys in case they haven't seen Deadpool yet, but that...

If you're a listener of guys and you haven't seen Deadpool yet, quit listening. We don't need that. Get off the Patreon. Cancel your subscription. I don't want your money, you fucking pigs. I would like to say I disagree and I appreciate all of the non- because it makes me feel like there's some normalcy in the audience of people who don't rush out to watch that crap. No, I'm going to watch it. I don't think I'll go in the theaters because of the baby and all, but I gotta use up those for real important movies,

but I'll watch it when it comes out on streaming for sure. I was listening to Shadow Wolves recently on the Action Boys Patreon. You guys are talking about the bike riders. Oh, hell yeah. I was like, let's look at some reviews of the bike riders. And we've all seen it. And I liked it as well.

I loved it. One star, Jimmy K. Wouldn't this is the weirdest, this is gonna be one of the bike riders. And we've all seen it. And I liked it as well. I loved it. One star, Jimmy K. Wouldn't this is the weirdest? This is going to be one of the weirder reviews we read because his first opinion is crazy. Wouldn't suggest this movie to anyone. It was utterly terrible. It seems tailor made for the tick tock generation.

Wait, what? I'm trying to remember, I'm trying to remember what could possibly lead him to say that. I would go as far to say one of my favorite things about the film is that it's so antithetical to modern filmmaking. It feels like a 70s movie, like it's like a hangout movie. Not a lot of stuff happens. Yeah, it's Jeff Nichols, right? I mean, Jeff Nichols, he does. I don't think he's really like a hangout movie. Not a lot of stuff. Yeah, it's Jeff Nichols, right? I mean, Jeff Nichols, he does.

I don't think he's really like a tick tock. I know that he's not done. He says it's catering to those with a short attention span. In what way? He goes, he goes, you can easily doze off an hour in and wake up without having missed anything significant. Right. Not a lot happens in the movie at the opposite of TikTok? And then he goes, I thought Hollywood had moved away from relying on

cigarette portrayals. But in this film, the cigarettes completely overshadowed Tom Hardy. The cigarettes overshadowed Hardy. He was like, these fucking cigarettes, they're just everywhere. I mean, they were they were 1960s bikers. They were they all smoked cigarettes. Too many cigarettes. I will say the movie features like maybe

eight different sequences in which Austin Butler lights a cigarette. And every single time it made me question like what the Q and LGBTQ might mean for me because I was like, he looked he every time he lit it up. There was a couple sitting there or friends sitting next to us, a woman and a gay guy, and they would just go ape shit. They were like, they literally would be like, holy shit. Oh, my fucking God. And he does. He's so gorgeous.

And then he looks. Yeah, he's obviously like a super attractive dude. But in the movie, he just looks so fucking cool that he's like, yeah, he's really sort of almost in attractive dude, but in the movie he just looks so fucking cool And that he's like yeah, he's really sort of an almost intoxicating his care Yeah I would say that's weird to talk about Deadpool and Wolverine and bike riders back-to-back because they seem to be two of the gayest Movies I've seen in the movie. I saw challengers and I thought these movies might be gay Like it felt more like a two hour Marlboro advertisement than anything else.

So I was like, watching it was like listening to an old drunk brag about their past coolness. The motorcycles barely even featured in the story. What on earth was this? I'm still struggling to understand. The whole experience was bizarre, but not in a good way. So he wanted more, more motorcycles. He wanted more technical stuff about the motorcycles and like the engines. Funny thing to be like, I watched bike riders, not enough motorcycles.

And what's your platonic ideal motorcycle movie then? Like what has more motorcycles than bike? Cause they're always on motorcycles in it, you know, like it is there. It's just they're not talking enough. They're not discussing them enough. They do sometimes, but one of them is a mechanic and he discusses quite often this sort of, you know, but I guess it's just not happening enough for that guy. Well, that's the next two star review says great cinematography and cast, but the story was very slow.

I feel that I wanted to learn more about motorcycles. And you can just go on YouTube and learn about that. The frequency in which negative reviews are someone expecting a different movie than what they got. It's such an insane, it's such an insane, like this is so indicative of American culture. It is so self- centered that people are like, I didn't like this film because I expected one thing and I got something else. And it's like, what?

You didn't order the movie. It's not like I asked for a quesadilla and I got a burrito and now I'm a little let down. You went to go see, sit down at a table where it's like the meal is made by the director. Here you go. And then you sit down. Like I was expecting something else. It's like that's such an insane. Yeah. Like you have to keep that account. You can't go like two stars. I thought it was going to be hysterical.

I was like, what the fuck? I had to get guys in here. There will be a lot of guys, episode movie people. So this is Cinephile F. I found him searching clerks too for reviews because Kevin Smith guys, we had to get Kevin Smith on the Rotten Tomatoes episodes for sure.

And he goes to- What do you think of Kevin Smith, Gabris? That's a good question. I used to absolutely love him. I do not really care for his new films, but I love that he exists and continues to make movies. That's right. I'm part of the evolution. So for the listeners, Brian's holding up a challenge coin. And if you follow him on

social media or listen to his podcasts at all, you know this is a serious issue. He has these guys. Yeah, he just bought one for me. I guess I watch you guys fighting online. I've like, don't send it to me. I already sent it. It's already gone. I spent $30 to ship him a Bill Murray challenge coin. It looks like a looney. Well, I think of you every time I'm at some random shithole bar and the chive TV is on every time I think I like I'm like, Brian would go ape shit here at this random railroad bar that's playing the chive. My daughter asked them to turn chive TV on at BJ's when

we were there the other day as a goof for me. Brian bought me a chive shirt and sent it to me. What was the old prison mic for president? It was the you know, it's a character from the office That website man that I well I read this thing yesterday off that site that in Fear it was for the coin that I I had sent to Chris the description of it whoo so this guy goes four stars too crude in some parts but overall I still found it funny and enjoyed it I love the ending also the 2000s were such a different time in this film as a time capsule of the anti-pc culture what is it what is what is what? Oh, this is clerks, which, by the way, Kevin Smith

is PC. Like, I don't get this idea that he's gone woke. He's woke. He always was. Yeah, he's always been. Yeah, he talked about raunchy shit, but that's not on PC to be raunchy. Like people, people love that. You'd be more like he went woke. It's like, no, he's never wasn't like, but also his movies were just about like sad guys jerking off and shit.

So like it doesn't even fucking matter. Here's some interesting these next two. I want to read in a row American Hustle. You're rating five stars your review. This film was awesome. I love movie set in the 70s much better than films made in 2023 and 2024. Now, I'm going to go to the next one, The Doors. I don't care what critics think. This movie is so much fun. I always love watching it. I love 1970s era American film. So I think he believes.

He thinks American hustle is from the 70s. He think movies set in the 70s are 70s movies. It's what he said. He doesn't like the new movies, 2023. But there's there's movies being made in 2024 that are set in the 1970s. So what does he do with those? He probably loves them. I couldn't find any. He did review dumb money.

And that was that was that was the one about the GameStop. Yeah. No, I liked it. I liked it. I think I liked it. I liked it, too. I just thought it was okay. It was kind of an interesting story.

It was a little bit corny, but I like Paul Dano a lot as well. Yeah, Paul Dano can do no wrong. The movie was kind of boring and kind of sucked, but I still enjoy. I have no desire to rewatch it like now. You're that's true. I don't have any desire. And I didn't really think about it like just when you said it right now was kind of the first time that it's gone. I was like, oh, money. Oh, wait, I did see that.

Yeah, that's exactly kind of like it. I did. I remember liking it at the time. I enjoyed it. It had fun, but I never thought about it again Yeah, he gave dumb money three stars He said one of the better mainstream movies I've seen in a while It's still clearly went through committees and had to check some boxes, but it was okay. So these guys Thing where it's just like it's my only Criteria for if I like a movie is whether or not it's woke and it was and it was given the woke treatment

And it had white p. No, he saw somebody that wasn't white and he's like I just checking boxes I know there was a committee for that character of color, you know There's like people of color who are like, yeah, what do you say when you go to a restaurant? There's a Latino family eating there You're like, oh they checked another box here restaurant. There's a Latino family eating there. You're like, Oh, they checked another box here. Maybe probably do say something like that. Because it was okay. Definitely better than the superhero on sci fi movies that are being pushed out like fast food.

Then I got to say this guy, this guy's a little caught up in the sort of lexicon of now where he's, he's throwing out some like shit you hear around Hollywood, which is where I'm currently situated, where you hear shit like it's slop. It's this like, oh, they're checking boxes like movie by committee. That's some shit that like, you know, if you're just going to see fucking dumb money in Nebraska, you're not thinking about the movie by committee. But like, that's so just like pulling from like, you know, random shit you heard online and just being like, I'm super informed. This is a movie I give six stars that he reviewed next.

The equalizer three, I would give it a fucking hundred stars if I could. That movie you're saying you. Yeah. But he gave it one and a half. And now that's the one that the equalizer three is Denzel. Italy. It was pretty bad. He'll getting an entire Italian village on his side. And then he's fighting the mafia.

He could do no wrong. I mean, like equalizer one, he's got like a kid who he's helping like learn the responsibilities of like painting and shit. And then in Equalizer three, it's just like any other movie. It's like accidentally heightened too much. And he's like, the Italians finally respect you, you know. I want the equalizer for so bad. You'll get it. Yeah, you're going to get it because I think it did pretty well.

But yeah, I mean, I think it was you're right. It was way too heightened and it was absurd. And it was like I do. It made me feel like, OK, I can watch this one. I like this. This is great. But it did make me feel like all the fourth one is going to be so bad. You know, that's the better. It's going to be like Fast Five.

They're going to like bad boys, too. He's going to like fight Cuba or something. It's going to be something because they can't they can't. How are you going to heighten it more than, you know, taking on the whole Italian mafia? And the first movie is like him being found out. Like he's like a Home Depot employee. They learn is the equalizer or accidentally shows. Now he's just like straight up like I'm world traveling, ass kicking Denzel.

And I am here for Denzel Denzel doing like medium movies is like such an interesting dynamic having like one of the best Actors of our generation just doing like middle-of-the-road action makes it makes it so much more elevated than it has to be And he's going to cause is a great director too Like he makes good action movies, but the movies don't even need to have much of a pre because as long as it's Denzel going, are you OK, son? You're like, yeah, I'm going to be all right. Please. Can you just get to watch Denzel for the whole time?

And you got like this kind of cool action and right. Exactly. You also just get to hang out with Denzel. And I do love when they start getting older, too, you know, and they're like doing the action still. And then you can tell in some you know, and they're like doing the action still. And then you can tell in some of the scenes that they're like a little too old to do it. That's why people were like talking about the Irishman where like that was a negative.

I was like, you're just not a wrestling fan because it rules when somebody's so old, he can't do anything. And then just try it. Like when Ric Flair had his last match, he had a heart attack like in the match and laid down for most of it. And then they just rolled them on top of somebody. That was incredible. Yeah. There's a sequence in the Irishman where Robert De Niro has to like throw a gun in the

river. He's like, he's supposed to be one of the young versions of himself. And it is like absolutely brutal. You like waddles over to the water's edge. You like he did. I mean, in Star Wars, they they have they what's his name? Harrison Ford, way too old in the most recent one. Oh, yeah, I was upset. I was like, let the guy just sit down. Let him just be driving the Millennium Falcon.

He doesn't have to be doing shit. So he gives Dune to one and a half stars, which seems absurd. And he gives the gentleman three stars. Now I'm going to go to his high rated ones. Legally Blonde, three and a half stars. This movie is cute and fun. It's a good date movie parentheses at home making out part of the time. It's not serious. It's just he's describing the stuff that you can do sexually with your partner. Also, I'm losing my mind here a little bit. We're three married men.

You ever sit down with your wife, watch a movie and make out through chocolate at home? Like me, should we restart? Sorry, we really got after each other there. It's like, I've been with my wife for 20 years. We haven't started making out during a movie that at home. Miss Congeniality three and a half stars. I really enjoyed

this film film. It's cute and fun and something you could watch during an at home date night parentheses kissing part of the time. It's not a serious film, but it deserves higher scores that much pussy. I'm so jealous. I'm just bragging about it in his Rotten Tomatoes reviews. I enjoy Scary Movie. Three and a half stars.

I enjoy laughing. And this film made me laugh. I think it's so, so, so funny. And it's a great spoof up there with Not Another Teen movie and White Chicks. It's a great stay at home date movie. The only negative is this is a guy that this guy does not. This is another example of cinephile F not getting a joke. The only negative is that some of the actors selected are way too old to be in high school and they probably should

have gone with a younger cast. Scary movie. And finally, scary movie. And finally, Norbit. This is this is a high rating one again. No, this is a two and a half, two and a half. But it's better than two, by the way. Which one's Norb? It's with Eddie Murphy, right? Eddie Murphy is a spaceship. So it goes, it's definitely funny in parts,

but just wasn't great overall because the story itself wasn't very good. I hate political correctness and do not mind the stereotypes and crass humor. But this was not really worth watching, in my opinion. And then in parentheses, he goes, even for most fans of anti PC goofy comedy. So he's basically saying like this listen that must suck to hear because they're like if you made that movie and they're like hey listen This is not woke. It's like it's completely anti woke and I love that but still it's really not that great So and I also have two movies. He gave five stars. Okay, here we go. You guys want to know sin city?

hmm gave five stars. Okay, here we go. You guys want to know sin city? Hmm. visually groundbreaking, edgy, sexy and fun. I love how hyper masculine and hyper feminine the characters are as well as the dialogue which is clearly straight out of a comic book. Not everyone's gonna like this, especially not people who are easily offended. But it's fantastic. Recommend 100% it's the best comic book graphic novel superhero film ever made The next one that he gave five stars you will not believe this This is never file X. It's gonna file F and this is

Big star. Why do I pick for he wears like a fucking luchador mask with an F on it? Like YouTube reviews or some shit like that. Five stars, The Dirt. Wow. Movie based on the book. Movie stocked so fucking bad. I never say that about a movie, but that movie was like unwatchably bad.

What is one of my wife's favorite books and she put on the movie and she was like, I have to shut this shit off. The acting is like it's unbelievable, like the line delivery and shit. I just I could not believe that it was I didn't understand what they were going for. It was like one of the most confoundingly bad movies I've seen. That is is one of his two favorite movies of all time. Fantastic entertainment. If you're someone who's easily offended, you may not like it, but I loved it. This is a very fun film for adults.

Don't take your kids to watch the dirt on Netflix at your house. I don't think they're going to be interested in watching it. Anyways, your kids probably imagine any told you give a fuck about Motley through. No, I was like, I'm fucking believable. Five stars for the dirt is five stars for the dirt is what are that? What are the reviews you have to like score? I have the score. Thirty eight percent critic, 94 percent audience.

I think that's what I'm saying, man. I'm telling you, look at any like modern day movie like that. And you'll see these insane audience scores. I really, truly believe that like the studios or whatever have figured out a way to game the system and just have all these bots like inflating those numbers, because I just you can you can see it's it's only 100%. Yeah, it's only the recent movies like over the last like four, four years or so. Before you look at like older movies, it wasn't like that at all.

Well, I wonder what the criteria to become an audience score. There is no real criteria to becoming an audience score. So then all of a sudden you just get more and more people doing that. And this is one of those disparaging things that I don't trust. When the audience score is super high and the critic score is super low, that's usually a bad movie that's got like annoying defenders. When the critic score is high and the audience score is low, that's my wheelhouse where I'm like, what did everyone hate about this movie? I'm so curious. And critics, of course, have like

one notch more of like open-minded taste of like, it's actually a really sad story about a walk a donkey walking across Peru or whatever. Oh, I love that movie. Did you know are you talking about EO? Are you talking about that? I don't know anything about EO, but I am referencing it as like, oh, man, that movie was incredible. And artsy pants. It was wild. I watched it at the Vancouver Film Festival with my partner, Ariel, is like, like she was so she was bawling at the end. It's a very sad movie. And she was like very upset with me for taking her to the movie not to spoil the ending for anyone. I didn't know how it ended either. But she was like upset with me for a period

afterwards because it is so sad. But it was incredibly well done. Let's look at Seize T real quick before we go to some really fun movies that I'm gonna let you guys guess the movie by the review. But Seize T I found on the Mallrats reviews and he said, not quite American Pie or scary movie, six out of 10. Okay, so Clash of the Titans. Wait, so it has a built-in review system of five stars.

A lot of people do that job. And he still puts six out of 10 in the game. He has his own one. It gives him a little more leeway. He doesn't have to use point five. He doesn't have to do half points. Yeah, it's just a different system that he finds that works better for him.

Wait, can we just run through the three movies again? It's a review of Mallrats. And he says it's not American Pie or scary movie. Scary movie is probably a nine. American Pie is probably an eight is my guess. And he's right. The movie he saw is not those other two movies.

So thank you for that. I might go into Mallrats expecting it to be a completely different other feature film that was made. Yeah. And by the way, I'm excited for Mallrats too, if he ever gets around to making it, the guy's always fucking around. He's got a new movie coming out and I am going to the premiere of September 8th. And I am going to go to a Q&A with Kevin Smith on September 8th. That's four hours.

After probably this episode's already come out and I've already gone to it possibly. And then we goofed on it on the stream or something. Clash of the Titans. I figured this would be a good Gabris movie. One and a half stars. What is this movie? Which year? Which year?

This is the old one. This is the one with the... The Harry Hamlin one. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. This is, yeah. He goes, evil, inconsistent gods. Why not stop Calibos yourself and spare many innocent lives? Three out of 10. No good.

Watch Star Wars Episode four instead. So mad about the plot, like mad about the like he's not mad about it being a bad movie or he's mad about a decision that was made by one of the characters. He's he he took what happened in the script as reality is like we should have just defeated Calibos. Imagine sitting down to write that. You have to just be in your head of like, I wonder if people are going to care. You know what? They care.

They care what I have to say about Calibos. Calibos. Calibos reminds me of the Star Trek episode we did where everyone was saying all these names that they were making. Tuv making. Tuvok. You don't remember Tuvok? I don't know. I don't remember any of them except for the Spock or whatever. This was for a movie called The Lives of Others that I've never heard of. I have. The Lives of Others is a great movie. It's a German movie. Is this the German one or the remake? There's a remake. I think this is a German one, but this guy gave it two stars and he said boring people stalking boring people. 4.4 out of 10. Read 1984 and watch The Matrix instead.

Well, those are two completely different films. The Matrix. Right now. Now I'm starting to like this guy because his reviews feature alternate options of things to do that have nothing. It's like I did not enjoy Minority Port. You might as well titty fuck some chick with big naturals. You know, like, yeah, no, that sounds awesome. Like, what the fuck?

And it's like, read 1984 and watch The Matrix. By the way, do people online, have they read any book besides 1984? No, I feel like that watch the Matrix. By the way, do people online? Have they read any book besides 1984? No, I feel like that's the reference if they've even read it. No, they haven't read it either. Yeah, not since fourth grade or fifth grade or whatever they make you read it. This is the one that pissed me off. This may be mad.

Actually legit. The King of Comedy, one half star. What the king of comedy is. So listen to his review is so. His reviews like there was no Bernie Mac. There was no Steve Harvey. Well, he goes like it says on the poster. It's no laughing matter.

One out of 10 terrible editing pace comedy acting drama lighting and music watch quick Quick change instead for more likeable kidnappers and anchorman to redeem mustached presenters So then I was like wait a second There was trying to do his own thing. He's trying to do his own little thing here. He's got a gimmick Yeah, well, then I looked at his review of quick change since that was the movie he told us to go see. Okay. Three and a half stars. Good but forgettable. Six point five out of 10. You don't have a better recommendation than that. You know, he doesn't have a better one to offer us. How about this one? Teen Wolf two, two and a half. No, an didn't know they made a second one with

Jason Bateman. Yeah, it's also it's also okay. Okay. Horrible pacing. Watch Rocky instead. Five out of 10. Watch Rocky. It said I'm still rather than watching a sequel to an iconic movie that everyone knows is not as good as the original. I would say Teen Wolf 2, boring, six out of ten. Watch Teen Wolf instead.

I can't believe you're thinking about watching The Matrix instead of the lives of others. I don't understand. The lives of others is about like, there's a government monitoring of this playwright, like who they think is a communist. I mean, is that similar to the Matrix? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Matrix fan 1984. If you mix them together. Because the Matrix has the action. 1984 has got the message. Boom, you got yourself the same movie. We all know that famously I have never, this is true. I have never seen any of the Matrix movies and I can't really explain why. I just like never watched them before. And then I don't know.

I can't everyone gets really mad at me. But yeah, I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what. Trying to watch the original Matrix now. It it is so 90s. It is so I might have missed it. Like when you put it on now, it's still pretty cool, but it's I have nostalgia missed it. You put it on now. It's still pretty cool, but I have nostalgia for it. I recently rewatched all of them and lead up to the new resurrections coming out, and I did not really like any

of them on a real. I mean, I didn't dislike them. I definitely hated them less than when I saw them in the theaters, but the first one still rips. But it is hard to watch without any context because it is just like industrial music and leather jackets. And it's all the worst shit that when you watch the original Matrix with now, all you think about is how much bad shit has ripped off of that

in the last 30 years, and it makes the movie almost unwatchable. So to me, it would blow your you would hate it because it'd be all the stuff so many times. And it's like, oh, my God, this is before. Yeah. That's everyone. Rip this bullshit off. And it's like all the worst. It's like one of the only movies from that, like, look that succeeded. But so many movies had, like, the fucking, like, power techno of the night, all that bad shit. The late 90s were just so fucking awful. Yeah. Yeah. That was in my teenage years.

This is really good. It's good to say that because this guy also reviewed American Beauty. He gave it five stars and his review is the real Matrix 9.5 out of 10. The real Matrix. Yeah. Watch the Matrix. But if you of 10. The real Matrix. You should watch The Matrix.

But if you really want to watch The Matrix, which is a fun way to follow this guy around is jumping from his like instead watch because he's like, watch this instead. You go to watch. He's like, that's also a three and a half. And then eventually, eventually it's just like, now go ahead and watch the mirror and look at the man there. And that's the person that you really have to impress. You know, like it all comes down to this beautiful moment in the end.

All right. So here I'm going to read you guys one review and see if you can guess the movie. This is from Sean P. It's five stars. Fantastic comedic storytelling that nails the social commentary. I must see for any comedy fan. However, it's become more of a documentary than a comedy. Almost 20 years later, that's got to be fucking we all. I mean, come on. We all know that's got to be what's what's it. Now, now I'm now I'm forgetting the name.

We all know. Idiocracy. Thank you. Yeah. The most fucking the most like friend of a friend joke you can ever have in life. It's just like just real life is like idiocracy. Now you're like, totally, man. Thank you. The accuracy.

My fucking target bag. And let me get out of here. It is it is. It seems like it's becoming more of a documentary these days. And believe me, 90% of the review reviews say that this guy goes, the first five minutes of this film are pure genius. However, the film as a whole falls flat. The concept is great, but the film suffers from boring writing, lackluster

acting, and above all, some very bad casting. Both male leads are horrible. This movie may have been a super hit if they had cast a couple of interesting or funny actors in the main parts. I think Steven Root as the president and Ashton Kutcher as the kid. Oh, yeah. Whoa. Ashton.

I mean, Steven Root. I'm never going to say no to Steven Root in any day. Steven Root compared with Terry Crews. Oh, wait, wait. As the president? Like the big, strong, crazy president? His name is like Camacho, right? President Camacho. I don't know.

I don't know that Steven Root would would. So it's funny to pitch Steven Root to a Mike Judge movie, the guy who like kind of broke Steven. For a while. And for a while, probably if he if he even can, he would have been in the movie. If either, you know, if he did. Yeah. Yeah. He wasn't so goddamn's the thing about the movie. I mean, I think that's the thing about the movie. I mean, I think that's the thing about the movie. You know,

Yeah. He wasn't so goddamn talented and grounded. Like the movie needed Terry Cruz. And it needed Luke Wilson too. Cause he's a fucking dummy blank character. Like, yeah, he just needed a blank guy. You know, To arrive and have everyone layer shit on top of them.

I've also never. I've also never seen a person suggest Ashton Kutcher as an actor in a movie? Not one time. I really couldn't think of one. No, he's in a movie recently called, I don't know, BJ Novak's movie, whatever it is. Oh, he's good in that. Called Vengeance. He's good. And then, but he has the most annoying, like he does a good job in the role, but the character is the most annoying character, the way he talks and the stuff that he says, you know? So that's the last time that I watched.

He's supposed to be annoying and sleazy, and Ashley Kutcher manages to pull it off perfectly. Perfectly, but he's like, he's so annoying and he does it so well that I hate the character so much that I was just like, oh, I don't even want to see him. Like, get him the fuck off the screen in like a really like the way they were trying to do it. They want you, they hope you. So maybe he's got a future as a as a villain. Yeah. I don't even

really like EJ Novak but he really impressed me in that movie. I really enjoyed it and I like him being a little unlikable as a person helps the movie too. I think I didn't want to my wife made me go to that because I was like I can't watch movies about podcasters I just don't ever I can't handle it. He twisters Well, right. That's a he's a he's actually not a podcaster. He's a YouTube guy, but the same thing basically This guy didn't give his name But he says a really good movie about the Idiocracy of the regressive left that keeps that gives us a hint of what the future will be if we value stupidity before merit. I like saying that the left listen, I think Joe Biden's a dipshit, which is who was president when he wrote this.

But I don't think picking Trump as your guy shows that you're the ones that aren't more stupidity. Terry, I think that's a bit more like the Trump thing I think is more would be from the movie Idiocracy. Like guy from like TV or whatever. You know, weird. Yeah, that's more of a than this like establishment politician who fucking you know, here's Terry Oh, who is definitely the most annoying man you've ever met in your entire life. He says, I found this documentary very entertaining.

It is important that you have a good understanding of the first five minutes of the story to understand the full concept of the movie slash documentary. Now, that's funny because he's like he remembered at the end. He's like, remember the movies? Oh, no, I forgot, I'm calling it a documentary. Let's throw a little slash on there. Do either of you guys remember what exactly happens in

the first five minutes of an idiocracy? Because now it's been mentioned twice. I think it's like that's an old explanation of how Earth has come to be where it is or whatever before you meet him. I think. I haven't seen it for a long time, but I think it's kind of a whole rundown of like all the stuff that's happened and then you meet the main character. But I could be wrong. Or you're sort of eating him and then he's watching the TV shows and stuff. It's just sort of giving you a basic rundown of what the world is

now. I'm definitely going to watch the first five minutes of this movie when we get off there. I might have to do the same. This guy goes, this is just a documentary at this point. Watch now to educate yourself and prevent this future from coming about in full. The next movie I want to guess is, I want you guys to Chris that you might have an advantage on this one. Chris, I'm saying this is a guy's movie. The first review is it's really funny. It's crude because most of what he says in the film is true. It's like Family Guy real life. That's Carlos G.

So is that going to be a way to die in the web? Oh, my God. I thought Chris was going to say Ted. It is a million ways to die. Holy shit. I know my Seth, baby. I know my you know, you know, I love my God. So I love that and I follow his career quite well.

So I know I yeah, I have. Have you guys seen that movie? Million. Absolutely not. I saw it when it first came out and I have literally none of it in my brain. Yeah, I never I never watched it. I could not bring myself to to watch that. It's one of those ones with the insanely low reviews. Right. Like the numbers are it's the singing.

It's like, I don't know why, but he annoys the piss out of me when he sings. Like we play him sometimes on the stream. I love his singing. And on the bonus shows. And it fucking drives me insane to look at him up there going, hey, how's it going? Because I don't like that career music. My baby now. Yeah, he really thinks that he like you can tell that that's what he wants to be doing.

And he's like, yeah, we'll be a little silly with it first. But now let's now he just puts out albums of him like singing old classic Sinatra songs and shit. Yeah, not now. I mean, he did that. But Grant A gave it one star and said, Seth MacFarlane must have set out to make one of the stupidest movies ever made. I doubt that I doubt that. How could he take such a great cast and flush them down the toilet unless it was on purpose? And that he succeeded. It's just bad fart jokes. Get old. The next movie I'm going to have you guys guess from a review is this is Cork B.

This is a three star review. And he says there's some really witty, insightful, comedic dialogue here. It's too bad that it's overshadowed by obscenities and a horrible horrible donkey scene and Anthony T says five stars the donkey show topped anything I'd ever seen before so That's how you could see there's two different types of people in this world The people who get offended by a graphic donkey scene and somebody who will remember it for the rest of their lives. Is it the road to Nardo?

I have no idea. I'm lost here. You have a guess? This is definitely a guy's movie. This is a, oh, this isn't the same. This isn't the same movie. This is a new movie. Yeah.

Apologies. Read it again. Read it again. There's some really witty, insightful, comedic dialogue here. It's too bad that it's overshadowed by obscenities and a horrible, horrible donkey scene. And then Anthony T says the donkey show topped anything I'd ever seen. Uh, and then I can, I don't know. I don't, I don't think I know that I'm trying to do the last review. Probably the most overrated movie in existence.

That one and two are ranked near 90 percent is beyond insane. If you think cliche adolescent violent gross jokes are funny. I hope you're 16. If you're over 20, you've seen these jokes a dozen times before. Hangover hangover. It's got to be. It is still laughing. You need help. Have you seen these jokes a dozen times before? Is it hangover three? Hangover, it's gotta be. What? It's awesome. Dawson co-stars only makes you shake your head.

Then we have cameos. Lee and Sykes? Which is strange because if I had a reputation, I'd do everything in my power to avoid this movie like The Plague. Poor dialogue, story, acting, you name it. A total flush fest. Avoid it all costs. Is this scary movie three? It is clerks to that was the clerks to reviews. But he said one and two.

I don't know why he said to. So he said first two movies that he mean like clerks and mall rats or something like that. Oh, I do. Yeah, I might have meant clerks and more. They are sort of in the same view as you as you a verse. I can't believe we all had that phrase right. Oh, well, I believe that we do because we fucking know about it. I've been here. Here's here's what I got one more.

And then I'm going to read you one of the worst reviews I've ever read in my life. And then we can get up all a four and a half stars. One of the best movies I've ever seen, even if you didn't know anything about nihilism before watching the movie. I assure you that you will start gaining interest about this topic. Amazing movie. Trust my words. And all this H says many top critics don't have the capacity to appreciate the

disdainful absurdism at its finest for all their high words of seemingly astute observation. They're just not very bright. Never have been their critics, man, just about the lowest profession on the planet. Every person I've ever talked to about Coen brothers film says this is their favorite. Wow. I mean, uh, every person I've ever talked to says this is their favorite.

It's the only one of theirs that I will watch again. No questions asked, except maybe if I have just watched it. OK, it's a masterpiece. You don't have to clarify. It's a masterpiece of the first order, and I have seen it at least five times and we'll watch it many more before encroaching nihilism strips me of all artistic appreciation. Wow.

I have no fucking clue. I'm old enough that I learned nihilism from Big Lebowski. And that's the movie. Oh, yeah. I was just going to say, yeah, just as you're saying. Yeah, that's a big part. I mean, notice that scene, right? They're not.

Yeah, they're fucking nihilist, Donnie. They're nihilist, Donnie. They have nothing. Yeah. And I did not understand. It's so funny to latch to that in your review of like not a lot of people can handle all the nihilism and big Lebowski. It's like it's mostly Jeff Bridges being magnificently charming.

I got to know what you're talking about. I think it's interesting because when the critics did, the critics did give that movie like I remember that movie having bad reviews. And then it's got to be. I mean, I think I saw, I had seen Raising Arizona and liked it, but I don't think I had a concept of what Cohen's Cohen Brothers film was. And I just couldn't believe critics didn't like it. I was like, this is the best movie. But then they started doing the big Lebowski festival and all that stuff.

And I was like, I don't like it anymore. I can't, I can't like something like that. And that was embarrassing thing. Well, I've probably ever admitted on guys podcast. That's crazy. I'm just, I was debating whether or not to even mention it because I do feel like I'll get mocked pretty hard for it. But there was a good period of time where I bought a big wool jacket, and I would wear sweatpants and a wool jacket,

and I would only drink white Russians. I was doing it not, I just was doing it. It wasn't a thing that other people were all into. The big Lebowski and stuff. It's like the big gatherings. Oh, yeah. Yeah. This was like when the movie came out or whatever, you know, when I was like, or it was in my early it was, I want to say, 20 years ago,

probably over 20 years ago. But I want to say for a full month, I sort of believed I was the dude and I sort of lived my life as the dude. I cannot imagine you because you are a much more tense person than the dude. That's why I wasn't in. I was a kid, right? I had no worries. Aspirational, aspirational too. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. I went through a white Russian phase.

It did have a little to do with the movie, but also like we would just love to get like it would always be like your friends like, all right, we've been drinking all night. Let's have one last one. And it was like should be dessert. And then eventually at my local in Brooklyn, shout out B61. We used to just go there and be like, can I have a, we would just drink pints of white Russian and then I'd have like four pints and I go home and I

fucking insane dairy bloat from having like, I have four pint glasses of milk. You're saying that it wasn't a good idea to drink alcohol and milk at that type of volume. Now, my specialty, my specialty was always to put a half a shot of Frangelico in the white Russian. Cause it gives it a little. Frangelico is like a hazelnut liquor and it gives it just like a little bit of like a hazelnut coffee adjacent thing.

And it ups the quotient a little bit. White Russians, White Russians was my last drink before I quit drinking. Like, well, that'll be that'll do it to you. Be clear, though, it wasn't his last alcohol. He says quit drinking. He then began eating his alcohol. No, no, no. Yellow shots were before that.

Oh, because Jello shots. Sex on the beach. Purple Hooter. Yeah, this guy had the shot. This guy had the wildest thing. He grew up in Ohio and just like in this, you know, and he's like, think about what, how did you end up drinking all that stuff? You know?

Yeah. Why didn't, yeah, you don't just drink like random local beer. Like of course you quit drinking if that's what you were into. And honestly, I kind of, I've, I kind of heard about some of your friends that when you grew up during that time, some of them, you know, what were their names? A couple of their names. I mean, they're really, you know, Sean, he didn't their names. I mean, they're really Kornoshawn. He didn't Kornoshawn. I mean, there's unsavory characters.

And I just I just wonder, you know, and I know they used to use particular language, you know, and would they ever use that language towards you when you would drink those kinds of drinks? I think they thought it was cool that I was drinking and I drink like I only I don't know why this is so shocking but if you drink like seven jello shots you don't have to drink for the rest of the night and I think that's where my mind was at all times it's like okay so I'll drink seven

sex on the beach at this concert which by the way way, never right. When you go to a concert and you order a mixed drink, don't do that. I did it all the time. Now you got to, you can only order drinks where the ingredients are in the title. That's like the trick. You have to say like vodka and soda or vodka at, you know, rum and a quick thing. It's just rude to do. It's a concert. Everyone's trying to get drinks and you're like having to make some fucking definition and offer it. And here's how I used to be a bartender back in the day. Here's how we the not mnemonic device we had for sex on the beach. Sex on the beach is best with a very pretty older chick.

Vodka, peach, snops, orange juice, cranberry. Yeah, I wish you were behind the bar, because I'm going to tell you the truth. I went to the Newport Music Hall and I was at a corn concert. I ordered five sex on the beach while I was there. Every one of them completely different. Yeah. Of course, though, there's a corn concert. No, they're not expecting to have to make a sex on the. I'll have two freaks on the leash, please.

Yeah, exactly. There's a freak. I actually the last corn show I went to was right before the pandemic and they had corn drinks like base drinks. But it was really weird because one of them was called the falling away from me, which was like you didn't even think of freak on the lease. And the other one was something about like something a song that nobody has. Something a song that nobody has. It might have been the twist and falling away from me. And I was like, those are you could have done free gone at least. But anyway, let me get two fallen away from me and one. I can do that. I can do the whole song.

Why don't I got my first? You need to put this out. You need to have Ryan. Hang on. What if I said I don't don't believe in? I'd like to hear you do it right now. And then you got to play the guitar and then I'm hard as a rock. I'm sure he can't.

Very cool. That was honestly like I've been working with you for a while now. That was the first time I've been genuinely impressed by what about last week when I did the death metal opening to the show. No, I'm just kidding. I am. I'm constantly impressed by the outrageous things you've done in your of your tank tops and also your vocal stylings. I want to be clear that that actual true thing is I'm

am the real thing I'm constantly impressed by is your abilities as a father and your relationship with your daughter. I'm not even joking. That's a true thing. He really is like a great dad and I'm me as a new dad. I like sort of look to him as this sort of like, oh, I can watch he seems to have this wonderful relationship with his daughter so I can take some advice for how he managed to accomplish that. And it's pretty simple as Brian said. Even how well adjusted your daughter is, is a testament

to you. And, you know, like, based on she has you as a dad and still ended up as positively as she did like that. She has a good mom too. She has Katie as a mom as well. I think she's doing a little bit of the lifting there. Well, no, she hears those stories too. I talked about it on one of the episodes recently. We took her. I didn't realize how I took her out of the environment I grew up in because we took her to to the horse track to gamble a couple of weeks ago. And she was like, I never seen people like this.

And I was like, really? This is all the people I grew up with. Yeah. Porno Sean. I mean, Sean was here. The guy who I recommended for a job and got fired for jacking off at his desk. Uh, Brian recommended a guy for a job and then he had his job and then he showed up at the job and got fired for Jackie off his desk and then Brian had to keep working there. Oh man.

Okay, here's our last movie here. TM gives it four stars. The comedy hits you like the scent of Sex Panther into the nostrils. Anchorman. It brings tears to your eyes. of sex panther into the nostril. Anchorman. It brings tears to your eyes. It's such a movie where of course all the reviews are doing the little jokes. I mean, cause it's.

Oh, I can't help them. It's the best part of the time. This movie works all the time. Yeah, we can't help them. So. Here we go. Now we're gonna. We'll eat the last one.

I want to watch the movie. This is our last review. I just want to say I have another one. I have another one. I went to watch the movie and it was really great, although my beverage was a bad choice. Yeah, I saw this movie and I just have to say, go fuck yourself rotten tomatoes. Yeah. All right.

Here we go. Brett killed the guy. I love one. I seriously, if somebody says lamp, I always can't help but say I love lamp. Because my wife, me and my wife have a hard time not saying I love lamp. Or if we say I love something else in like an accidentally monotone or clipped and like, oh, like I love egg roll. You know, it's like I love lamp.

You immediately follow with I love lamp. I don't know why that's the line from the movie that endured with me, but I love it. Here we go from Mitchell H five stars. This was also people always ask when stuff like this is written, so I just wanna say this is June 27th, 2023. Last year. A veritable masterpiece of cinematic mirth, Doth stand as a testament to the comedic arts

in a bygone era, the power of memes did flourish. This film did grace our screens and leave an indelible mark. I'm going to have to cut you off there for just a second. What's going on here? Where do we find this guy here? Rotten Tomatoes. This is one of our leads. This guy is on the wrong website. I believe he's taken a wrong turn at Chive Boulevard and he is looking for his friends.

This is my least favorite. Brian, you saved this for the end because you knew it was gonna set me off. I hate these guys who talk like this. Is this a Chive thing to talk like? I doth believe that we have achieved a level of comedy unforeseen by the local, the normal eyes. Yes, yes.

Three of the worst things we've ever read on here are this. They're a review of cards against humanity and a poem about boobs from chive, from the chive.com. Those are three things that have gnarled people out. This is going to join that. And he goes, it's quotes, like timeless jests passed down through generation, Doth retain their comedic potency, even after the passage of nearly two decades.

Anchorman, a tapestry of wit and hilarity, and snares the heart with its uproarious antics and charismatic cast. With each viewing, it unveils new layers of humor, inviting laughter to cascade forth like a joyous chorus. It is a true work of art, of comedic art, forever etched in the annals of cinema, a source of endless amusement and a treasure to be cherished by jesters young and old." And a lot of people will say jester, like comedians are the modern day jester.

So I don't even think of them that way. I think of them as like the last kind of bastion of truth. And it's like, I, they're the last people who can actually say what's true for me, for me, guys like, you know, guys like Rogan and Ari Shafir, they are the Plato and Aristotle of our time. They are the philosophers. Stan Hope and Bill Maher too. Don't forget, don't forget Stan Hope and Maher. Actually, the greatest thing about Bill Maher now is that he had the Hawk Tuah girl on his show, that it just blew my mind that he would do that. And I was- Right. Cause it feels like something he would like roll his smug eyes at on his show. Like

new rules. Can we stop making the Hawk Tuah girl Super famous. And then he's like immediately does it like the next week. And he's like, this is what's wrong with society. But he's also a legendary horn ball. So it's kind of like she's remotely attractive. And she went viral for talking about spitting on dicks. Let's get her on our show. Our political talk show, the club random club. That's the worst thing is a very interesting show. the club random club. That's the worst.

I don't know is a very interesting show. I watch it regularly. It's really a fascinating program. He gets really fucked up on it, like noticeably fucked up on it. And yeah, there's long periods where there's not really a lot being said. And they're just kind of sitting there. I've been low. We've been because I listen. He makes more money than like nurses and teachers doing that.

Oh, that's so fucked up. Well, that is rotten tomato guys. Very fun episode. Gabris, thank you for doing the show. We thank you for having me. And you want to plug anything? Yeah, sure. I'm surrounded by weird guys all the time. So the opportunity to talk weird guys with other weird guys.

We got to get you on a bonus episode because there we just it's like not regimented. We just talk about guys on there. Yeah. Anyone's that we've ever talked about. Yeah, yeah. I'm down. I'm down for a bonus. You know that I'm always down to chop it up.

You can check out action boys at action boys dot biz. It's a Patreon podcast, but we have some free episodes at free dot action boys dot biz. We got a live show coming up in early September in LA, but it'll also be live streamed. So you can get tickets at live dot action boys dot biz. And I got my podcast that Brian's been on and Chris has got to come on called High and Mighty and it's just a basic chat show. But that's free and easy to find and has several hundred episodes. What the fuck am I doing with my life as I realize that great episodes. One of my favorite podcasts from from I've been listening since the start and some great guests

on there and probably a lot of them have been on guys. Yeah, we have some we have some overlap in our friends and stuff. That's why I ask you please to ask, is it Ben that this Ben Rogers that decides the movies? Yeah, it is. Please get Digstown on the list. Sure. One of my favorite movies I've ever seen. And I was going to text you like, I can't believe you guys haven't done. I can't hear his name. I can't believe you guys haven't done it. So I didn't do it. But now I'm publicly saying you got to digs towns. The best movie

I know him as bang, Rogman, bang, Rodman. Yeah. He's done some, had some great appearance on their super funny comedian, Ben Rodkin. Yeah, he's been a buddy since we met at UCB 20 something years ago. Yeah, Digstown. I'll pass it along. I'll give you a hearty. Yeah, maybe next sports timber. I get it.

Like I said, people are always like, why haven't? Well, first of all, most people are like, why haven't you done an episode you've already done? Well, first of all, most people are like, why haven't you done an episode you've already done like that? That's the best one is like, you guys got to cover jaws. It's like, I think twice. Like we will see you all next week with what is it, Chris? I don't know. The one that we're recording with Felix is a e-sports

guys with Felix Peterman. We will see you next week. Goodbye. Bye bye. Oh, I didn't. You know what? I've been watching. Are we?