Guys: With Bryan Quinby - Guys: Episode 9 - Discovery Channel Guys with Chris James, Mike Hale and Will Menaker

Episode Date: April 11, 2023

Look, everyone was a Discovery Channel Guy from the late 90's to the mid 2010's  We looked at the people who have been letdown with Discovery dumbing down Amazon Reviews for Deadliest Catch, Planet Earth and ManVsWild  We ended with a little bit of sex guys talk Please don't make fun of me for flubbing the opening Will Menaker is @willmenaker on Twitter and on patreon he is at patreon.com/chapotraphouse. Sign up for his miniseries Movie Mindset.  Mike Hale is @DogBoner and is on your kickstarter sucks at patreon.com/yourkickstartersucks Music by Zachary Fairbrother @avantlard on twitter

welcome to fuck keep it in keep it in why is it every time keep it in welcome to guys a podcast about guys i'm the host brian i have a dream team here today with of course i have chris here hey hey what's happening? You heard me mentioning the Flub opening up. So hopefully Flubheads are going to be eating well all episode. And of course, I Flub the opening when this guy is Mike is here. Mike DB is in the house.

Mike, what's up, dude? How's it going? And Will Menaker is here. This is his first time on. OK, we got you, Will. Hey, Will. Hey, it's good to be a guy talking guys on guys. I brought Will on because this is the very first episode where we're talking about television. We haven't hit television yet. Me and Will have a television connection.

Can we both watch television shows we've both seen succession we do though watch all the tv shows that is true like i i assume will you've seen succession right yes i have seen succession and okay it sounds good tulsa king um but i also think it's so good man tulsa king is so good i love it oh sorry we should we can't talk tulsa king but if you guys haven't watched it you gotta say it's stallone just he's so fucking elderly but he's so tough anyways. It's incredible. So this episode is about something that I thought about when I started making the list of guys. It like is like I want to do more and more kind of niche things. But this was one I thought about that was like a huge mainstream thing from like the mid 90s to like 2014 or maybe even 2010 that people were just really into the Discovery Channel to a point where they kind of felt like it was more educated. It was like way more educational than it was.

It was like kind of like reading a book in a way. So did any of you guys i'll start with will did you have any stuff you watched on the discovery channel oh i had plenty of stuff i watched on the discovery channel and you know i mean i guess like this is this is the the nature of the discovery channel and what we're going to be talking about today it's sort of i uh uh got got hooked based on the you know wonderful uh nature documentaries because i like watching you know animals and the and the stuff they get up to but then i you know i don't know what year like there there was an era in which it shifted away from the the splendor of the natural world

to the splendor of of guys and guys doing jobs it was like sort of a i don't like a like a bush bush bush era kind of thing where it was just sort of a i don't like like a bush bush bush era kind of thing where it was just sort of like um if people don't have blue collar jobs anymore we can at least watch other people on tv do dangerous grueling labor like debbie's catch you know dirty jobs um and then and then of course then there was the uh the content for the uh the the proto soy america i mean like that was for red America. Oh, Hey,

my ears are okay. I'm listening now. I'm listening now. Sorry. Busters, you know? Oh yeah. Well,

yeah. Will, you brought this up. I love that you brought up the three things you brought up are on the first thing that I collected for this show. Um, so I went to a message. I finally found a discovery channel message board after looking and looking and looking because most of them closed down because it fell off right does

it even exist anymore yeah okay because it did definitely fall off though right because i do remember when i was younger discovery channel was like a big thing maybe i guess just when tv was a big thing and you had like cable tv but yeah now i don't really hear about it anymore yeah you'd be hard pressed to figure out what's on tv nowadays on these on the lower end channels oh yeah i mean i got i i got no idea what's happening with discovery but so that that that's true then because you're saying the message boards closed down so the buzz surrounding it doesn't exist in present day no and you're gonna i mean i can tell you what's on there now like moonshiners oh yeah of course oh moonshiners is great i well i i that's like that's a prime hotel

room tv watching you know like i watch this great channel now and i'm in hotels and law and order isn't on you know i'll go i'll watch a show about the Moonshine people. Street Outlaws. One of my favorites. Lest we forget American Shopper. Yes! Is Moonshiner like... It used to be about animals and became about

people. Is that one of those made-up shows like the Toe Truck Show? Do you know the Toe Truck Show where it's like there's all the fake manufactured drama is moonshiners the same thing or yes i mean you couldn't really do a show that follows real right and also the police who go after because they also have people with the cops that are looking for the moonshiners it's like they're come on bizarre no yeah moonshiners is like uh the the drama of moonshiners is like some guy comes across like a remaindered shipment of like

frozen strawberries and he's just like what can i do with this hey strawberry flavored liquor anybody and then you know they build a still in the woods those old boys making that moonshine the cops are like guys you recognize well in 2009 this was what was going on with the discovery channel i found this forum and they go hello discovery channel fans what's your favorite show from discovery and why and this is just like a a pre kind of discovery pivoting to reality thing uh because it happened in 2009 and the first thing ega lega says on here is cash cab what coordination to not only navigate the new york city streets with the other crazy cab driver well wait a second to mc a

game show in the process wait a second though didn't it didn't cash cab hit and kill they killed the guy yeah yeah that's true i'm not making that up cash cab killed the guy or killed a person so obviously yeah it is quite difficult to navigate those two things at once in certain instances uh that's kind of yeah sort of a dark i i the cash cab guy was a stand-up oh yeah yeah ben bail yeah he came i remember i did a show and he came by and did a set on it and it was like a big deal because it was the cash cab guy you know but i didn't i never i never watched the show i mean well this is all coming back to me now because i was a huge cash cab fan and like sort of like um nice i like how i said the discovery channel went from being about animals

to being about people and the jobs they do like i was most into watching discovery channel when i was unemployed so it was like instead of watching a nature documentary about like this baby elephant struggles to find its mother on the african savannah it's just like i wonder what having a job would be like you know and like to that end like you you talked about like you know it's a certain kind of american rubry that i was not uh immune to because like you know living in new york city i would just be like man if i could just get the cash cab to pick me up i could have like eight hundred dollars but like the belief that these are actual people hailing a cab finding themselves on a game show and not like that it was like all prescripted

that's kind of a cool thing auditioned for it like like on the on the in the big apple though that is a possibility my stupid ass walking around i ain't got a fucking chance getting picked up by the cash cab my little two-bit down you know but in new york city you could get picked up by some sort of a thing doing a show you know cash cab yeah but i mean like you have to audition for it i mean just be like you know walking around la and like you like turn a corner open a door and you're in the jeopardy studio and they're like i'll take potent potables for 500 alex yeah you're right you're right they they have to like have you sign stuff. Maybe they can do it after. I should have asked the cash cab guy when I fucking seen him at that comedy show.

Just annoying him in the green room? Yeah, but probably nobody does that. It probably would be cool for him to talk about the cash cab. I'm so glad you asked me about my show. That's all. Hey, that's cool. I'm trying to be stand-up here. But yeah, I'd love to talk about the thing that every single person in the world asks me about well stripe 17 replied with three of them one one that i'm i'm very uh uh familiar

with dirty jobs and he answered uh interesting topics and one hell of a star this show is educational funny and adventurous oh that's three good things number two deadliest catch even though that one oh i know i think everybody that was the last hit that was a huge show i i never watched it again i wasn't a bit i did watch some of these every now and then like you said like it would just pop up but i remember that one being the biggest show at one time, you know, like maybe the biggest show on TV. It felt like. Yeah. People liked watching. It was a phenomenon.

Yeah. Yeah. And so this guy describes it by saying, even though the same crews are out there, quote, fishing week after week, the show is presented in a very interesting and exciting format so quote fishing and number three myth busters and this is i think the holy trinity of yeah the discovery channel because he goes i like i like the show and the team but parentheses even though i know they have to do it some of the safety steps are too much pretty soon they'll require viewers to wear a seat belt and stay 10 feet from the screen. I hate the way that there's no chance that the hosts I love will die.

That's the only annoying part of the show. Well, to be fair to Deadliest Catch, there actually was a pretty good chance that someone could die on that show. Commercial fisherman is probably the most dangerous job that you can have in america that's true um that that show i did watch mythbusters that was i mean that was a great show and it is it's the one that will a lot of people are going to point out the one will brought up when he's talking about the soy kind of ones that is yes the only one that i really loved but i think it was like i think that one i feel like it really it's the thing brian said i felt like i was being educated like i was smart watching this

show guys would fucking say you would meet dudes and they'd be like all i really watch is the discovery channel like as in a way to say like i'm a little bit smarter than what you're you're like what are you watching entertainment tonight yeah yeah oh i have a television but i'm watching educational programming that's the only thing i watch yeah i have a television but the remote control does not get a lot of use because it pretty much stays on discovery channel i was trying to locate the nude photo of jamie from mythb. And you know what, gang? With AI and stuff, this totally ruins the whole fucking game here. Was there a real nude?

No, it was a fake. It was a guy who looked like him. It was like spreading his ass or something like that. But now I can't find it. You'd be hard-pressed to find it now with all the AI stuff. And they don't talk about that shit either when they're discussing this. Another Mythbusted AI i debate you know like what about my wrestler nudes actually the ai has made my wrestler improved your life i can get almost anybody naked i mean ai has

definitely improved my life that's for sure that is true the wrestling the wrestling nude thing is funny because like it used to be you could only get the really large freakish looking guys nudes now you can get any of the guys nudes so i have a phone full of them um i took a look at uh the youtube for discovery channel to to sort of sift through some comments. And this is a thought starter. They go, I miss the old Discovery Channel. I hate reality TV because it's so fake. So the guy that responds to this says, his name is Video Clippets.

They had no choice but to dumb it down due to the increasing general stupidity and short attention span of the ever evolving audience if they wanted to stay in business and survive they had to develop content for the simple-minded audience that were taking over the demographic wow the ones whose attention can only be maintained for more than a few minutes by highly dramatic emotional inducing scenes anything remotely intelligent would shut them down and they would get bored sorry state of reality oblivious to the entire history of reality tv or whatever not even thinking about that you know i i i i i liked mythbusters when they were uh you know uh doing educational intelligent content like you know figuring out scientifically whether we'd be better to fight a thousand regular sized ducks or one really large duck. But I soured on them when they refused to bust the biggest myth of all, religion.

funny to think like he's like well they back in the day the myth mythbusters would tape a cell phone to a can of gasoline and see if it would explode if you called it smart guy version of mythbusters was mansers on the spike network where they would ask could a guy ever fart himself to death and they would do an experiment that was a show that i could wrap my head around finally some fucking science finally some science for guys like me yeah i i legitimately watched that show like i found it funny but i did watch it mansers is like that's the thing that guy's mad about he was like you know people know i noticed that people were starting to watch mansers and uh that means that they're not ready for moonshiners well i guess um stefan said i'm up but not stefan heck by the way might be how do you know it's not spelled different i'm a part-time uber driver in DC area. Until last year. Sounds like him. Yeah.

Yeah. Until last year, Discovery headquarters was less than 10 miles from my house. One day I gave a ride to one of their higher ups. I flat out, without sugarcoating, asked her why the channel went to so many trashy shows. She said, because they get the ratings and the more hillbilly, the better the ratings. It all started with those chopper shows. She said she doesn't like it either so that's a sick story that's like that's such a cool story like i love that just like one of the higher ups undisclosed kind of person told me this it's such a clear lie but i do like it hillbillies but uh like that they need the more hillbilly the better

the the tuttle family was from orange county new york i don't know if that counts as being uh a son a true son of the soil but you know they had the they had the mustaches and the the motorcycles and things like that but yeah like all all of this is um it's just like a like a like a like a like a theatrical presentation of what jobs are like for people who don't have email or don't don't do email jobs. That's what Discovery Channel was. That's like these these hillbilly shows. It's just like, oh, like people, these guys build motorcycles. Wow. Imagine if I had that job.

And when you say I wanted that that job so bad you have no idea there was this period of time where all i wanted in this world was to be on monster garage now i had didn't know jesse james was a nazi first of all just i was gonna bring that up before i get in trouble for that uh i didn't know he was a nazi at the time and i didn't have any experience in doing basically anything with my hands except for um cable which isn't doesn't like there were no discovery they weren't they weren't doing any discovery shows about like american cable guys they're doing some pretty fucking funny and cool movies about it though that's true this is the fourth time you've brought up that i know wait a second here's a

here's a pitch for discovery channel i mean like it's got it's got it's got a little little free song of hillbilly in it it's like sort of similar to moonshiners it's about american illegal cable guys who give you like the descrambler so you can get skin and max for free now i would go back to the business and the law enforcement agents who try to stop the cable company cops who try to stop you from stealing hbo in 10 years and i'm not gonna lie in seven years of being a cable guy i only saw one raid. And it was a guy that kept, they don't care if you hook up free cable for people. It was a guy that kept doing it and then fucking up his neighbor's cable. So they finally had to go get the police and knock the guy's door down and get him in trouble. But this took like years.

Like it took almost the entire time I worked for the cable company for them to decide that so richard galley said quote reality tv unquote i've never understood the appeal of a program that is scripted rehearsed staged and narrated then portrayed as something spontaneous the actual content parentheses lack of it is often secondary to turmoil and controversy between characters unfortunately it is a bulk of what's on the tv now so a lot of people really have in like uh well it's gone down the drain they're intellectuals the problem is these are discovery channel intellectuals who are now like these are not just regular people being forced to watch this it's like these are upper crust intellectuals and now that's why we're getting

these types of reactions i think academics are yeah exactly academics those types yeah i i too hate how sort of stage managed and scripted reality tv is. I mean, I want something real. Like, can Jesse James turn this tractor into a Panzer tank? Gotta get this bike done for Shaq. Now! Because, you know, he would just be, you know, like the Monster Garage would just be turning out monster trucks

if it weren't for the cameras. I mean, like, they're just flying on the wall. They're just seeing what's going on, what's happening jesse james's garage or the tuttle's uh auto shop if you know like they'd be doing all the same things if it wasn't for the discovery channel they're just this is real very tay well okay now everybody's going to remember this there was a uh years ago there was a controversy with the discovery channel from a show called man versus wire wild with bear grills oh right that one i love wait are you telling me are you wait wait are you telling me he wasn't at risk of death and every second that show was being filmed

every time somebody brings it up uh this is the first one guy goes bear grills uh parentheses lands on an island i've been looking around and this is definitely an island but then a guy responds to him when he's just riffing with him he goes stays nights in hotels buries himself in pine needles next morning then turns cameras on totally fake and people are very angry that he was staying in hotels that seems to be the thing that they keep saying is like hey these these uh this bear grills he stays in a hotel and uh i was reading so this guy chandler burn says i still like man versus wild i had a feeling it was fake things like what bear grills was showing do happen and it was some pretty decent advice fake or not somebody who knows zero things

about survival if they got in a plane crash in the middle of no nowhere would be better off having watched man versus wild than not watching man versus okay i i remember i remember this i like because you know into man versus wild but there was always something that felt a little bit fake about it to me was he really was this really a true test of man versus wild no it wasn't the real survival heads out there were watching survivor man with les shroud that's the show i thought we were talking yeah that's the one i was the canadian he's a canadian guy like myself he's a canadian guy and he doesn't have a tv crew because he would often like set up his own shots where he would like put a camera tripod i bring it up way off into the distance and then walk back to fucking pick it

up and take it with him i bring this up all the time but there's a guy named dick pernicki who did these um nature kind of documentaries about going to alaska and building a log cabin and stuff yeah and he did the same thing with those shots and i think that's where um what's his face got that from where he would he would set up a shot and then like walk away from it and then like walk back and pick up the camera and then like do that multiple times or whatever so you're saying even less stroud was i think he was maybe i mean he was just like he was inspired by this other guy he wasn wasn't bullshitting, though. He was real deal. He wasn't staying in a fucking hotel.

No, he wasn't staying in a fucking hotel. I didn't know that Bear... I thought at least Bear Grylls was staying out in a fucking tent. I'm finding out he's sleeping in a fucking hotel. I'm going to find... What's he doing now? Where's he at? Bear Grylls? He seems to have disappeared.

I think he made enough money. After a plane crash in the Canadian Rockies. He made enough money to go away. Pop up with some show. It's awesome. Well, actually, I do have some Man vs. Wild Amazon reviews for the DVD. How long did it run for, Man vs. Wild? No, I'd have to look that up um like when

when when did that happen i'm like what between what years i think 2014 was when they figured out hey man this guy's staying in hotels 2006 is when it came out looks like didn't bear grills d he started doing like uh man versus wild but with celebrities yeah Yeah. He did one with Obama. And Will Ferrell. He did one with Obama. Okay, well, then I think people should have known they were staying in hotels then. Yeah. Like a former president. Like, is there any risk that he's going to starve to death or like fall into some glacier?

Yeah. Come on, man. Honestly. I'm looking up celebrity episodes because we got to see which guy. And I drank some of his pee. I drank some of his pee. It was surprisingly good. I'll unlock.

It was called Running with Bear Grylls. It seems like it was on the Discovery Channel. Oh, wait. No, it was on NBC and Nat Geo. He had Zac Efron on and they went to the Catskills.

Oh, wow. Zac Efron and the Catskills? That's just upstate New York. Come on. That's not impressive. Then Ben Stiller went to the Isle of Skye in Northern Scotland. Channing Tatum.

Channing Tatum went to Yosemite. Tom Arnold in the Oregon. Tom Arnold. Tom Arnold. What? It's very weird. Tom Arnold, good friend of Man Cow, by the way. Maybe.

I mean, obviously, you know, it's hard to tell who's a friend of man cow. Tamron hall from the today show went to pink cliffs. Uh, Dion Sanders went to Utah desert. And then, the second season. Oh, Michael B.

Jordan, Obama, Drew Brees, James Marston, Michelle Rodriguez, Ed Helms, Kate Winslet.ate winslet and then uh man they did like five six that's a lot of these huh they did yeah because will ferrell was on it definitely yeah yeah they're still doing it 2022 they had natalie portman simu lu ashton kutcher florence pew

anthony anderson and rob wriggle so bear going. Very strong. He's doing the thing that the To Catch a Predator guy is doing where he's trying to do his show that he did. He's doing it on his own. I listened to his I heard a couple episodes of his podcast

Predators I've Caught. And at one point He hadn't figured out he had the ads He was like and will be Right back but it would cut At the inappropriate times It would like

He had edited it wrong But yeah Maybe his editor is smoking a bunch of weed Or something I got some big news for all three of you Right here I went and saw him live a bunch of weed or something um i got some big news for all three of you right here okay i um i went and saw him live at the gathering of the juggalos i saw chris hamston in a little nice

little seminar at the gathering of the jungles oh that's that's yeah that's totally i mean he was there to catch all of them he was just gonna pull the juggalo compound with a fence and like you know lock the gate throw away the keys all the predators they've been caught who is who is he mark maron i mean lock the gates why has locked the gates come up like three times in guys too i don't know jake anderson we got deadliest catch youtube reviews and uh Nink is very thankful for them. He goes, these guys make it possible for families to enjoy family time over seafood dinners in nice restaurants. Yeah.

Oh, that's nice. And Brandon Cox replies. Who does? Deadliest catch. Brandon Cox replies, went on a cruise to Alaska a while ago. Can confirm. And then Alt QQ reminds him or replies to him that doesn't mean you can confirm lmao brandon replied i enjoyed family time over seafood in a nice restaurant with

king crab caught off the cornelia marie or was it the time bandit i don't remember but it was one ship oh man this is all coming back to me i like the names of the ships you know the cornelia marine the northwestern the yeah oh man and i actually on on w's catch one of those captains one of the captains did die on the show stig it's the guy i've been reading about wait was it stig or is it i think it was one of the other guys it was basically like you know like the the captain of the ship, like he's the one just like sweating bullets, like sitting, you know, sitting in the captain's deck and then like, you know,

captain's chair rather. And then like on the deck, like those guys are like, they could go overboard or get hit with one of those steel cages or whatever. But the captain is basically like, it's just, you're sitting for like 20 hours at a time, just like fucking like back to back burning cigarettes, just like just smoking, just smoking and drinking coffee nonstop.

And would you surprise that guy? That guy had a heart incident that killed him on the show. You know how he died? He got pinched by a crab. Ow. It is funny. He said, yeah, it was on his butt. And then he fell over and his angel came out of his body and

flown. So now we found two guys. The discovery channel is killed. Is the fisherman guy and the person just trying to cross the street. That's the street in New York. Master creamer response. I want to do a season or two of crab fishing i'd love it men from the boys so uh that guy really wants no you wouldn't i know

that was the whole point of that show like the fucking heart the scariest hardest job imaginable i could do this i could do this ain't hard well i i won't die can i just i just look something up and you know how i was saying hey i don't have a chance of getting picked up by the cash cab ever in vancouver well it turns out i'm wrong it turns out not only do i have a chance to get picked up i would have had a chance of getting killed because that's where the cash cab killed someone right oh yeah let's go let's go cash cab can someone, right? Oh, yeah. Let's go. Let's go. Cash Cab Canada did it, baby.

It was right in Vancouver, close to where I live. Very sad to think of Chris dying. That's actually, I don't want to, and that's also sad. You shouldn't be making jokes about a story. Cash Cab, it should be called the death cab for Canuckies. As I was saying, we shouldn't make jokes about this i think we're so now he was making a funny joke um how did this is from quora i only have one quora uh how did the discovery channel go from one of the best places to get science and

documentary content to well garbage reality shows and david hickey responds uh former retired professor of paleobiology and geology responded oh okay this guy's legit yeah it is a shame isn't it i suppose that it went the way of the history channel by appeal to the lowest common denominator i guess that actual science documentaries were more expensive than their present programming just like the nonsense fake documentaries of the history channel about ancient aliens they are now contributing to the downfall of the country instead of educating people greed is the ultimate cause i mean i i agree with that guy but like you know like the the history channel buffs that are mad about ancient aliens and uh you know american pickers and stuff like that they just want to channel this 24-hour tv documentaries about the

third reich yeah yes they don't want ancient aliens they want like untold secrets of nazi germany yeah a lot of hitler's blitzkrieg a lot of the complaints are coming from like a compound media care of anthony kumia a compound media wants a version of a deadliest warrior but like more explicitly race-based black guys could beat up who would win a celtic warrior of the sixth century or an NBA player. That was a show on spike too. That was deadliest warrior. Yeah. Yeah. That's a good one. That was a good,

that was a classic one where they would have like Yakuza versus like, uh, Taliban person or something like, just like a really bizarre, like matchup between, it was very, it was played up as very silly and humorous as a lot of the spike shows were you know uh you know who i think would win any one of those fights uh who who

existed in a time when uh after gunpowder versus someone who didn't that's who i think wins every one of those contests my kid likes to play this game called tabs um battle simulator something like that where you do the same thing. You just set up rows of guys versus rows of other guys and then you do it. That's the same fucking thing as the show. It is. Now your sons could be making it. I went to Amazon and looked

at some of their box sets. This first one is from the Planet Earth box set. It is one star. Planet Earth is legitimately a masterpiece. That's not Discovery. That's Attenborough produced it.

It's distributed by Discovery Channel in America. But it's BBC. It's BBC. It's at the quality of a state broadcasting corporation. By the way, all these people complaining about how Discovery Channel isn't about education anymore.

It's like, well, wait, that's what PBS is for. If you want educational programming, it needs to be subsidized by the state. Or on the internet. Nowadays, there's so much... When you're an intelligent, intellectual person, you can go seek out the information you're looking for and find it on...

Yeah, you're right. The television, which is meant for the masses is geared towards the masses like that's like basically what you're saying yeah that's the reality of it well this person bought the planet earth box set and he gave it one star yeah these animals suck they were doing doing it. It was so scripted. You know, honestly. Oh, snow leopard. You know that fucking snow leopard was he was it was in a nice hotel every night.

It was snow leopard and other stuff. I've seen this snow leopard and other stuff. Ain't nobody put together a bike. Nary a bike on here. Nothing. Humans are animals. Yeah. Well, he says not as advertised this is being reviewed as a one star because the product is advertised as being narrated by sigourney weaver but the product i received is narrated by david attenborough

how could you ever be mad about david that like even if you're like oh i was expecting the sigourney weaver like as soon as you hear it you'd have to be like oh well this is this is ted this is better than anybody else ever narrating anything right no uh he said apparently my quest to find planet earth narrated by sigourney weaver continues so uh you know bringing down the amazon score planet earth because he wants by sigourney weaver continues so uh you know bringing down the amazon score planet earth because he wants the sigourney weaver version there's the most only david attenborough he he's kind of david attenborough though i'm listening to his like the the dinosaurs one and he's kind of old now and so his mouth kind of like makes like old mouth noises and stuff and it is it does

make it a little harder to listen to i will admit well i was mad at the uh the oceans episode of planet earth because it didn't show any of these amazing sea creatures being trawled up in a giant net and then separated from their heads by the the staff the Cornelia Marie or Time Bandit. Well, Ohio, which I'm assuming is a guy from Ohio, replies. He gives it two stars. And he says, get the BBC version, not this one. And he says, this is a heavily edited version narrated by Sigourney Weaver that was shown on the Discovery Channel. Wait, wait, wait. We got a guy you should send a message to. edited version narrated by sigourney weaver that was shown on the discovery channel wait wait we

got a guy you should send a message to make some money brother yeah you guys could make a trade here and he goes uh and it was shown on the discovery channel in the u.s it doesn't hold a candle to the original bbc version narrated by David Attenborough. It has awkward pauses for commercials, parentheses, that obviously aren't there, and a huge amount of missing footage. Plus, Miss Weaver doesn't have nearly the gravitas as narrator Mr. Attenborough. Make sure you get the other version. So 60 people found that helpful. Yeah, I think that is a good idea. If you're ordering it it get the original full version

of it with the original narrator is the best way to go probably i think getting this the gorney weaver one's probably more up my alley actually just because you wreck you'd like reggie you know from the movies or whatever it'd be kind of cool every time she talks you're just reminded of her movies cool alien oh every time she talks you're just reminded of her movies which are which are which are alien guy like brian alien well myth but there's collection three and yes that's a flub and people will be sending you myth but uh collection three was reviewed by michael r hansen now keep in mind this is a dvd that he bought um and he goes uh one star can't stand this series this series is all hollywood it claims to have scientific

and engineering principles and then it tries something once and ta-da it's proven in real life you need to repeatedly demonstrate your conclusion but then what yeah that would be a great tv series yeah thanks for your input but then what should what should you expect from a series where an explosion is more important than scientific processes i just pity the kids who watch this and think this is how real engineers and scientists work. Yeah, I'd love to see a show busting the myth of the tensile strength of this 12-gauge steel nut or something.

Yeah. Why don't they show any of the paperwork that goes into getting the stuff to do the myth busting? It'd be cool to see some of the requisition forms and just see how the whole thing comes together. The next one I got

is a Man vs. Wild DVD, which is the reviews of this Man vs. Wild DVD are wonderful because, as I said, they're pretty mad about the hotels. But I thought I would read a five star review first uh he goes

it says mountain polling and i don't know what that means he goes this show indicates the human capacity to survive failed attempts good and bad it's impossible to read and he goes watch the baja desert be decisions with their consequences mr grills lives his adventure in front of us through attempts that fail and attempts that work. Mr. Grills shares his perceptions, pulling us into him, into the screen. Watch the deep South. Apart from eating very peculiar things, anybody with any common sense will eat the closest thing to what they're used to. And he goes, not having initiative is the greatest killer out in the world. All other shows on dvd promote too much passivity and some you can watch the

man breaking down while he's having the least initiative possible you ever watch that show alone you ever watch that oh yeah? You ever watch that? Oh, yeah. That show is great. People break down on there all the time. They're crying. All the time. And the other, Naked and Afraid, that's another, like, hotel room Discovery Channel standby. Yeah. That's good. Do these guys have any initiative, though?

I love that. Well, you know, a lack of, you know, when your plane has crashed in the Amazon jungle, the most important thing is maintaining your sense of initiative on Naked and Afraid I don't know if you watched that one every episode is the same, they get a man and a woman strip them naked and send them into a swamp and the funniest thing is at the beginning of every episode

they're talking to the man and the woman and like invariably the guy and the very, at the very beginning of the show will always make some comment about like, well, you know, I'm, I'm married, but you know,

like there are certain involuntary bodily reactions that, you know, I may be subject. I hope it doesn't make anything awkward or I hope there's some chemistry here. And then within five minutes of them embarking on this like ordeal of like two weeks of survival like they like they're covered in a thousand mosquito bites and like being horny is like the farthest it's been yeah everything other than hunger and

fear has just been drained out of you immediately i haven't watched it um i think i may have only seen like one episode here's one that gave it five stars. And you said I got all out the good bits. They do. Unfortunately, you can get the unredacted versions on Blu-ray. I hope. No, actually, I went looking. I went looking and I found people that were pretty mad that you can't get the naked

that you can't get it uncensored uh i posted on twitter actually that there was a person that was like hey do you know any place where i can uh i mean that that is like obviously that people are going on it they're like okay we'll go on it but we're not going to show our like naked body i'm so they obviously don't agree to it and these guys are just like no i should be able to fucking see the titties man i should be like what are you looking for yeah i don't look at pornos man or. I know. That's how I felt, too. Here's Glenn Castleberry, who I admire quite a bit. He goes, I've got all these DVDs and record the newest shows that's not out yet.

In other words, I really enjoy the show, LOL. I love the outdoors. I read some reviews saying he's a fake and the stuff is set up. But you've got to remember, he's just showing what is possible if everything has gone wrong. I've learned quite a lot from him. Now, climbing rocks, cliffs, going into dangerous caves, jumping into freezing water, LOL. Well, most folks aren't going to take those chances. People, it's entertainment. Take it for what it is.

I really enjoy Survivorman man also but bear really does know his stuff so here's here's a one-star review for you guys bear grills has a somewhat entertaining show but it is completely worthless from a survival standpoint i do not like the title man versus wild there are enough people going against the natural world already. That title gives me... It's divisive. It's divisive. He says that title gives nature a bad name.

Like it's something you must fight against. Well, if you find yourself without food or shelter, I think you'll find that it is something that you must defeat. Giant bear is attacking you. Then, yes, you have to fight against nature. Here's one for the Discovery Channel. It's a new show. It's called Men vs. Wild, and it's about Congress. Oh!

And cutting regulations for the EPA. We usually don't get political on here, but that is... That is something we can all agree on That's not even That's a bipartisan issue We all agree Congress bunch of damn clowns Ain't doing shit

And if man and wild were in Congress They wouldn't ever be able to get along So The man has admitted to staging scenes of the show And staying in hotel rooms To me That discredits almost anything he has to say about natural living if you're only interested in entertainment

then this show deserves to be about three stars okay i mean however like that's the thing about like all these like like like you know men were as well they're survivor man or naked and afraid like people watch these shows like just like i don't know like taking notes about like oh i'm gonna remember this when i'm in this situation yeah and like i got like you know uh like understanding theoretically that you need to build a fire is like a long fucking site from like actually using wood and sticks to like start an ember you know like it like you know how hard that is like from what i've gathered like none of this shit is gonna help you like you don't need to worry about how authentic it is.

Yeah. Find yourself in that situation. You will die. Don't worry about it. It's not going to happen. Can't just watch a couple of episodes of man versus why you're like going out on like a serious outdoor excursion. You just want to go. They get on the,

the, that show alone. And it's like some guy who's like, uh, yeah, I'm a security guard, ex-marine. And then he gets on the

thing he's like i hope i don't fucking pop a boner uh walking around you all day long and then and then like it's like day three and like he's like i just miss my fucking family so much i'm about to call it and he's like reaching for the satellite phone and shit well like on alone it's always the guys who are like cops or military guys that like they bug out like in the first like couple days because they're like i signed up to be a predator not prey i'm a i kinetically ascertain the situation and realize that i could not call for backup and it's just like you need to keep moving you sit down you're dead yeah they have guys who are like former marines and stuff and they pair them up with some like hippie chick who's like a surfer in san diego or something and it's always a woman that does better because like you these guys things like when you're there without all like the 60 pounds of

kit that the military gives you it's like you're really like all your all the skills you think you have go out the fucking window yeah it is funny that that like there are actual people who are like consuming the the entire run of man versus wild who think that like if they're in a plane crash and they live they can't be fine you know it's like the same thing happening with like them thinking that about yellow jack yeah it's like i sat down on one and i think i can handle it um ah that's some bad news about deadliest catch on dvd uh dfb gave it one star and he goes one episode was good two is just more of the same it's just yeah did they ever catch you know would they ever catch anything different crab crab crab i was looking i was wondering if they're gonna go on land at any point you know would they ever catch anything different crab crab crab i was looking i was

wondering if they're gonna go on land at any point you know it was getting real repetitive with the water and the boat that's a great review he says it's just not enough here to create a whole series so he has decided that there isn't enough there but i got a five-star review from scooter where he said uh cd came pretty quickly uh box they came in was in good shape used to watch show sundays before bed show's been out 10 years figured i didn't see year one guess i did now i've watched them sober but still okay that's a cool story that's like a that's a cool story so he's doing sounds like the scooter's doing better shout out i mean i think i think the common denominator here is that like they have they have identified like a real trend which is like the the you know like the dumbing

down of everything and like that like the the the shift from like yeah these cable channels that were like ostensibly at one point about like having some educational value and so you just like full-on just full-on hot slop for the hogs but i really think all these people were dramatically overestimating how how educational and intelligent the content that they were seeing before was you know like like the learning channel used to have shows that were at least like i don't know learning base but now it's really just the learning about freaks channel yeah it's mike's channel i'm on my yeah you like learning channel mike yeah i do i love that shit so much it's so nasty yeah just like my 600 pound tumor yeah yeah it's mike's favorite channel and Mike also keeps a list of like old, naked, horny guys on Twitter. It was actually going to open up the old, horny, naked guys when we get to the end here, Mike.

Oh, yeah. I was hoping you were going to. That would be a huge treat. I guess A&E was the same way also, right? Did the same thing. Yeah, A&E. A&E had educational programming when I was young. And so it's basically all of those. I don't i feel i i don't know this for a fact i got my ass i feel

like it went downhill when they did the um uh the addiction one my stranger not my strange addiction but no yeah uh what was that one called intervention intervention or whatever that i mean that show was grim that was grim and the walking on sunshine uh girl who was huffing the this the whatever it was and that became like a meme you know and that one was just like devastatingly horrifying and yeah that one felt really uncomfortable and weird and seemed to set a bad precedent i i don't know if it was the starting point but but yeah. Or hoarders. Yeah, that was a good one. Just monetizing people's mental illness.

Yeah. With the idea that this is helping them, every episode of Hoarders should just be like, they look at the house. They're like, okay, could you come outside for a second? And then a fire truck just pulls up and guys in hazmat suits and World War II era flamethrowers pile out just just incinerate the entire property like that that would help them yeah opie and anthony

used to talk about hoarders a lot and these types of shows and they would say like that that you know they would i have more respect that they just admitted that like hey we're putting this on to like show this the misery you know like they won, we're putting this on to like show this, the misery, you know, like they won't admit to it. They're trying to make it out to be this like, yeah,

humanitarian type thing, but it never is. They know what they're doing. They know. It's funny when, um, I think it's alone also when they do the, is it alone when they do the fucking,

uh, scoring system or something like that? I think it's taken to Fred. Yeah. There's an objective criteria of like survival talent they're like uh like they're like sarah has dropped two points for failing to secure a snake that's so stupid it's that's from some fucking uh guy at this at the network who was like we need something to gamify this or whatever it needs something else and that's like the first thing they thought of well the thing i see there is also like uh doomsday doomsday preppers which is not on the discovery channel but like doomsday

that they judge they have a prepper guy that's like man this guy's got a he's got five points in like canned foods but he's only got three points in tactical gear and like it's very very not an objective thing but it's funny to watch them try to figure it's funny to watch them like like they're they're blowing they're playing like reveille or whatever to get your kids out of bed at like eight it's it's it's going from going from intervention to a show like uh there's a show called extreme sisters where this is twin sisters where they we do everything together and it's like so obviously fake or whatever it's like we even wear the head they even wear the same outfits or whatever it's like who the fuck wants to watch

this shit yeah it's like that is fuck wants to watch this shit yeah that is british stuff too in a way i like i i'm not gonna blame it all on america because when when mike and jesse were doing rubbish lads they were watching some real fucking trash man like some real there there was a show where there was like a a makeover robot or whatever yeah what was that show called fuck yeah i can't remember what it was but it was like somebody would go out on a date and then they or or and then they would have to go like into a fake makeover robot and come out and they're like oh she's kind of it's all people living their lives it's just people living so i think it's like an extension of what will said before like people who weren't able to work those regular jobs like watching regular jobs and now it's like gone further than

that it's people who are like just sitting around and not living any kind of a life or experiencing what would it be like to have a sibling yeah what would it be like to just like have a sister and talk to them and go out places and like go to the store and yeah yeah i mean i i i see them when i look at the plex that i'm on with mike and dan that is like uh as i scroll through i'm like man i have i haven't had cable in years and when i see what's going on on tlc i'm like what do we got we got my 600 pound life 90 day fiance the other way steven seagal law man extreme sisters thousand pound sisters um love during lockup love after lockup love is blind 90 day fiance happily ever after inmate to roommate oh you know it was a good one inmate

to roommate inmate to roommate inmate to roommate elaborate on that one so there's like a program or some uh program where uh people uh who have been pen pals with prisoners or something can they can i get it to show you don't have to try to sound smart and call it a program they can come they can come when they leave prison they can stay with people or whatever and there's all these you know typical stuff that goes on or whatever okay there's all these you know typical stuff that goes on or whatever okay oh that's not that's not weird at all this is newly out of prison like prisoners so it's not weird to to film that experience at all yeah the weirdest one the border one that one like maybe got shut down do you remember that one where they literally had

border patrol and and people were coming through the airport and it was like people knew coming into the country and they're like getting stopped by like the border security people or whatever and that was getting filmed like these people who were like foreign people who and like coming into the country and getting detained and like told that they can't come into the country and stuff and that shit was signed this you You signed this release for? Yeah, that one finally got shut down, but that was running for a while.

I think it was just called Border Patrol. Did you ever watch Adults Adopting Adults? No! Where are all these? I never... You have to see this one. It only ran for three episodes. And then they stopped making it because

it was so fucking weird as a child of adoption this appeals to me oh dude you gotta watch it immediately loved after lockup was the one that like katherine and i were obsessed with that show is truly extraordinary because you know like man or woman you know like doesn't matter like you know who's coming out of jail who's doing who's doing the the on the outside work of like writing to this this convict and then like trying to set them up with a relationship or just sort of like drop them into a relationship like the day they get out of doing like a seven or eight year bid um what that should prove conclusively is that like every single who is in jail, man or woman, who is now being in a relationship, should trade places with the person who tried to make them their boyfriend or girlfriend.

They should be in prison. They are all so not well. are usually like these like absolute grotesques who are like find some woman who's in jail for like you know like drug addiction like an entire life of like petty crime and drug addiction then when they get out of jail immediately just start giving them money which is like you know a good thing to do to an addict and then the women are like these women who just like uh or you know normal looking you know like ostensibly like could fit into society or like be in a normal relationship. But they like the idea of having a boyfriend

where they know where they are every second of the day. The state has sort of taken care of that for them. Just like two broken people. Because I mean, the guys will be like, oh, this didn't work out with the one lady I met in prison. So I got back on the prison pen pal website and got another one or whatever. It's like, dude, dude go jack off i don't know what are you doing that has been every time mike's been on guys which is twice solution every time just reset yourself yeah

i haven't stopped thinking about this since that first episode, the guy that went to the swingers club and he got to the door and it was supposed to be $60 for him and a date to get in. And they were like, nope, it's 90. It was just like, I paid it, but I don't know if I'm ever coming back.

That's great. That's just like great guys. Just fucking half rod. Just showing up there. Like, I guess I'll fuck up. It's just like great guys. Just fucking half rod. Just showing up there. Like, I guess I'll fuck. It's one of my favorite that in a silent disco story, probably one of my favorite things of all time.

So that is most of the discovery stuff. Let's do like a few minutes of sex guys just for fun. Yeah. Yeah. This is, this is people really, yeah yeah this is this is people really this is a list of horny uh online guys who reply to sex accounts mostly right mike is that a fair way to yeah uh you want me to share my screen and i'll just show you i think brian has it does i have it in my in my uh uh i gotta find it in in my you added me to it it's the nicest thing anybody's ever done for me.

Yeah, I'm on there as well. It's kind of nice. I check it every now and then. It's just a running list of guys that I found. Let me see what the sheet is up to. About 500 or so guys. Just a small list. They just sit here and reply to porno accounts and stuff

and send them gift cards and stuff. Look at this guy's belly. I'm on this guy's belly here. Yeah, and sometimes they send him a little more than just a gift card. I think it's safe to say. This guy. Okay, there we go. Fuck! than just a gift card i think it's time yeah like this guy this guy okay there oh my god

no mike everyone listening mike shared his screen and that it was foot. Someone had shared a photo of their foot and it was so mangled up and it was like almost missing a toe maybe. It was so horrifying. And he's sending that to... One week away from...

Look at the fingernail of this guy. If you're taking a picture of your cock, right? You have to clean clean under your god it's his arms is uh that's just a barbed wire tattoo turn up todd uh that that penis was small and mushroom like yeah you had a very dirty oh my god so what is so he's replying with this it's a heavyset guy

yeah replying to a what does it say he's like copying the same pose as this young gentleman that he's replying to yeah plus about 200 pounds yeah he's replying to an account called small dick gay

and he says hey babe yum nice naked body i like your small dick me too i have a tiny dick lol look at it and he's right he's not lying he's got a big yeah he's got a decent yeah that was weird that was this this guy okay so this guy is um mad at a porn star and like says says that he was ripped off by her and stuff like that. I don't even know what this is. This was like two tweets that were untagged together. She blocked me. Now I'm thinking about committing suicide.

You don't care? Then fuck all y'all. I'm going to meet August Ames in heaven. And he's got like a copy of like an involuntary patient and but like a 5150 or something he was you cut your wrist because you claim to be depressed is what it says on here very uh i mean it's the same shit as the fucking reality show stuff where you're just like there needs to be a show about these guys i've watched the channel the discovery channel the show like mike you gotta you gotta be like yeah i would definitely watch a show about these guys

like where somebody goes and interviews them you know like an intervention for them where they're just like slick you know you got like you're too horny like just jerk yeah like you said like just jerk off normally well like yeah i mean i think they are doing that as well i don't know man because this guy's got the most this dick so good i would say because when we talked about that guy that got upcharged at the swingers club, he could have got back in his car and fucking jacked off and not paid any money.

I got one that I didn't do on the sex guys episode. The tongue guys. The guys who were demonstrating their technique in a video. Imagine this.

That's the top. That's the Cadillac. This guy, Kurt, is saying, imagine me doing this to you anytime you want. So he's giving her permission to imagine that anytime she wants pure pleasure. It's him moving his tongue around all weird. I know a guy on Twitter that uh well i don't know him personally but he's a wrestling fan not he's not really a wrestling fan he's like more of like he says he has stock in wwe like he's bought stock in wwe but every once in a while he just shows up on twitter

and if you look no no what the fuck what the fuck is that yeah he has the smallest penis i've ever seen it's just a micro penis it's a little knob it's like it's only a head the balls are much larger name is gumdrop size and he's got a joint in the end of his dick and yeah he has a tiny little joint stuck at the end of it it is urethra that's the smallest joint and the smallest dick i got this one from our swingers that i didn't get to on the sex guys episode and it is titled fucked for the first time tonight and he says we've hung out with this couple four to five times, and he wanted to fuck my wife as I did his. But my penis had other ideas all the other times.

All the stars aligned on my end tonight. And she got on top of me, and I was at full attention. I went in, and we had amazing sex for a while. All of a sudden, she jumps off and says she's done. I got up as well and stood in a puddle. Came to find out she came super hard and squirted. It wasn't all in all. I call this a win.

And then you go side note. My whole life. I thought girl squirting was just a sideshow of them being can confirm. Now this girl 100% came and squirted. So, okay. So he squirters. Wow. That's very cool that he got confirmation because that is one of the big debates going these days. We get the Mythbusters on that?

See, now that's a Mythbusters I'd watch. So I love the sex guy so much. I don't have as much Reddit as I did before. I'm going to have to start collecting it all. What about this? here we go i found one that i didn't do on the show hey everyone just looking for all your sexy fun group chat titles thank you um so they're they're getting some ideas i always try to tailor mine to the people we are chatting with for example we have some friends who also love karaoke so our group chat

is called the treble makers i also run a chat called nerds with benefits that focuses on nerdy topics he's talking about comic book movies and swinging um a while ago we had a group chat going with some swinger friends of ours we called it book club prayer group or bible study or something completely opposite of what it actually is. Oh, that's I love that. That's irony. Well, the person replies and says abstinence. Just one word.

Abstinence. We have several, but my favorite is the fuck. Yes, club. And then gets a reply from 50 McPhisterson that said, just stole this. Thanks. So we used all the things because we enjoyed doing all the things together low mall 5819 calls it the wild hornberries and uh so that's all the group chat names that's really yeah that's really shit that's really shit annoying and uh i don't i mean it

reminds you as i think you know we're coming up we're going to talk about softball guys and i think that is sort of a little bit reminiscent of up we're going to talk about softball guys and i think that is sort of a little bit reminiscent of some of the horrible names of the softball uh teams i have there is a softball tournament in sandy a horny softball tournament in san diego uh somebody hit me too and i was looking at some of the team names man i can tell you just in in the leagues i play and like in slow pitch once you get into slow pitch it's like the names are always let me tell you there's a lot of people who go with the whole as you i'm sure you know the whole pitches bitches thing you know oh yeah yeah i mean like these pictures are like looking at like expressionist art this is like picasso or something

it's like cubist modernism like i can i don't know you don't understand i'm obsessed with it because it's it's so it's so interesting so this guy right now peter peter o'toole wow yeah oh wow i don't think it's him i don't think it's him but peter o'toole says oh he doesn't say anything he just replied with a photo of him bent over i think like this is accurate but it's so blurry and it's so poorly taken his head it feels like he dropped the camera or something it was like it was in that one hand and he dropped it it's a hard picture to take i think because i think he was trying to do his butthole yeah and he probably doesn't know how to set a timer. This guy, William, I would love to sticking my tongue in your puss. And he's a super old farmer looking guy with his tongue out.

It's big, bald, a slug looking. It's just I mean, I talked about it on the episode that that we did about sex guys about how like like they're they're oh my god don't show people your tongue that is the worst that is so much grosser than showing people your dick i hate that thing about showing showing your tongue but um there needs to be like an objective like like similar to naked and afraid where they have this totally uh hope or like a survival rating analysis they need to do that for sex it'll be like his his tongue length gives him an added advantage but we're demoting points for the fact that he can't take a photo of his asshole one that said uh fuck, what did it say? I don't know if you can get back to it.

It said, I'd like to milf your pussy or something like that. I want to drink your pussy milk. I want to drink your pussy milk. Yeah, it was, I want to drink your pussy milk. Yeah, I think sometimes what will happen as we discuss is these guys will just get so horned up they'll just start talking they'll get so horny that they don't even know

what they're saying yeah it takes over their like nervous system yeah i want to i want to eat your you know the guy was talking about searches hashtag horny on twitter and then replies to because porn stars will do hashtag horny um and he'll reply to them all and be like you know i i don't know if uh he'll reply to him with a what he replies to is the picture of forrest gump from uh yeah from uh uh when he's on the boat he's waving and like yeah yeah oh my god do you see that one a lot yeah i do like they use the same you know or the horny emojis are so funny where it's like the two emoji guys and one of them's eating the other one's pussy or something like that so fucking funny it is so it is such a weird like the tongue stuff is just so amazing to me because it's like just being a woman and seeing a guy who's on the toilet right now i don't know if he's sitting on the toilet and he's doing tongue

he's doing so much tongue movement like he's literally just trying to showcase his pussy eating ability you can see that he is trying to showcase that i know other women who watch this and they look at one guy and he's like slobbering all around and they're like, oh, that guy obviously doesn't know what he's doing. And then they get to a guy who's like on the toilet. I can tell that that guy's technique is really solid. Oh, the circus. Okay. Yeah, he's got that going on. I noticed that there was one bookmark. I was like, who's bookmarking this? And I realized it's fucking TV. Yeah.

It's got fucking gross. It's got the grossest dick, man. It's all for you. That's just all for you. Really? How generous. An underrated part of the nasty porno guys is the room setups that they have.

Because this guy has a travel boombox thing. A jack-o-lantern for candy. A Kansas City Chiefs wall clock. Hey, congratulations on the Super Bowl. Yeah, it's good for him. It is weird

when you see what they're watching on TV or something while they're doing it this guy's head weird if it's like this guy's head looks like a testicle he's giving his whole address oh my god you want me to fuck you're gonna have to pay ask for gas money if you're that horny but they know you're not gonna want it you know i also like that like because i've i've seen some of these and i saw some of on uh on mike's on mike's doc that i like to see their politics like where where there's one post

where they're like wing like moving their tongue around and all that stuff and then they fucking uh uh the next post is them saying like i'm sick of joe biden and uh i always find it weird if i like see someone who's like a real freak like that and then they post something like oh i was just watching this like show i really liked it and i was like fuck i like that show you know that's also a show i like yeah it's it is oh yeah this is a good one because i don't know if you can see the under the guy's underwear yeah yeah there's some there's some stains so this guy has this guy has posted a photograph from above he's taking his pants and underwear down but he's taking it from above so you see his penis which is terribly small awful it's awful it comes to a point and it's tiny and then below is this underwear that is soiled with pits and chips you know how like i took a

picture of my office setup when i got it all done when when when i went and bought the computer and i got all the stuff i took a picture of the office set picture and i was so nervous that somebody was gonna make a nice nice outlet Yeah, I was afraid of... Yeah, like, your cord management is terrible. These guys are just like, I mean, this is how I eat pussy. You know what I mean? They don't have a lot of shame.

Of what you're aware of in the periphery of, like, the squalor they live in, there's, like, you know, like, they sleep in an ashtray. There's 10, 000 cigarette butts visible in the in just in the background of their awful awful dick and skid ridden underwear just like yeah like brian was saying you'll see a post from him like to a porn star and then you'll see the next post that says the chinese leader asked putin what about joe he applied joe is my bitch you know it would be nice to me for one of these porno guys to be a liberal like i i saw one of the guys had like i was just like

as you were scrolling through it some one of them had on their regular post was like fuck your guns and i'm like when you see like you like like they're all replying to porno all replying to porno clips all just shit about like when's the dp scene coming out i need it now and then like in the midst of 30 things of that it'll be like a retweet of like an earnest plea to like support the people and children of ukraine or something one of my favorite one of my favorite ones that we did on the episode was when i uh i looked at swinging 41 year old moist mom abby summers loves that dick and hubby agrees and cory dylan whitten replied fucking fool name he even got his middle name in there he replies how long long you been fucking the same guy, sweetie? 99 billion years in a row.

678 years at a time, sweetie. Body looks good. Great bitching on Pornhub at all. And if you shows up for sex, fuck the same cast your whole. So that is a guy that was really mad that she keeps fucking the same guy so i think that's it i think we did it we did discovery guys with a little bonus porno guy what the what the fuck did you just share what the fuck okay i don't know what that was very big very big penis but i don't know there's something't know. There's something medically wrong with him.

There's something medically wrong with him. I don't know what his dick's doing there. I do not know. A lot of these dicks don't look good. No. And it's not just like, oh, your dick looks dirty or your dick is small. This is like the penis of a

non-human animal. Yeah, some of them honestly like that one that comes to a point the one with the dirty drawers underneath it that one did that one looked like an animal it did look like a human penis that's true i've never seen somebody like it's just so weird that like growing up you thought most adults were like relatively normal and shit. And then when you, when you get older, it's like fucking guys,

we'll just take a picture of their penis with shit stains in it and try to pick up the internet. It's fucking crazy. And like, and do it not in the DMS. Yeah. Yeah. You know,

like you're texting someone that your dick unsolicited. This is a fully public website. Public, where potentially someone could get a hold of it and talk about it extensively on a fairly popular podcast. There's a jackpot that I'm trying to find that I can't find, where it's some guy who has a hard-on, and he's in his bathroom, and you can see in his toilet that there's a turd in there. I'm trying to find it, but I can't find it.

Turd? Turd? Turd? I don't have that. I can play a sound clip if you guys want to hear one. I'm just going to guess which one. We'll go with this one. I just did Josh Olson and Dave Anthony's podcast where they look at Prager. They break down PragerU clips.

And in one of the PragerU episodes we were watching, it was like Dennis's thoughts about male and female sexuality. And his whole idea is that like women can never understand male sexuality because like men are horny all the time and like men want sex all the time. And women, you know, like they don't feel the same way. You know, women can't be as horny or treat sex the way men do. And like that rings true to a certain extent, but like it's not that women aren't horny or treat sex the way men do and like uh like that rings true to a certain extent but like it's not that women aren't horny or don't like sex it's just the bar for what is good sex is

so much higher and like there is as we're just seeing here there is so much bad dick yeah there is so much like non-euclidean non-human dick out there that women can catch that it's just like i don't yeah like so like yeah for sky like dennis he's like yeah it certainly seems like women that just aren't into sex at all you know after seeing this shit i'm not into it either though i'm done the worst dick you ever seen in your life all right before we do the plugs i have to hit one of the buttons, and I'm just going random here. That's a nice. That's a nice beer. My wife. Okay, that's in case you're wondering,

Will and DB, that's from Opie's beer show from like a couple of weeks ago, him and his friends doing a little Borat impression. A couple of weeks ago. Yeah, it's two weeks ago. Two weeks ago. Yeah, that's right.

For the people that follow it on Twitch, for the people that follow it on Twitch, for the people that follow me and Chris on Twitch at twitch.tv slash murderxbrian, we'll know that, like, they didn't do the beer show this week. And then Bubba was creeping on. We had Bubba creeping on underage. Please, let's not talk about.

I literally was, like, talking to my girlfriend about how uncomfortable that was after we finished streaming i don't want to think about it again but uh also you know patreon.com slash murder x brian i'm starting my jeff dunham series in two weeks gonna wrap up ted too next week um and next week i think you get softball guys and i have some really good porno names for softball guys with david j roth and john cullen and chris will be there so uh thank you db for doing it your kickstarter uh at your kickstarter your kickstarter sucks um dog boner on twitter he doesn't post but i mean when he does it's always great and uh Will Meneker, at Will Meneker on Twitter.

And do you have anything at Chapo Trap House, which everybody already knows? Yeah, but I would like to just share at the end of next month or like late April, early May, we're launching the new Chapo miniseries that I am at the helm of. I'm finally doing Movie Mindset. Finally, the Chapo movie podcast is coming coming very soon it's me and hessa from seeking derangements and we'll just be having fun talking movies so that's the patreon exclusive chopo miniseries uh end of next month uh movie mindset chris loves movies you gotta you gotta have chris on he is a movie boy that's that's

really uncomfortable will you don't have to have me on. I don't know. Doing it publicly like that. Proposing to your girlfriend at a sports game and getting it on the Jumbotron. I have a lot of stuff going on as well. I'm a pretty busy guy. I'll text Stefan because you said that he said, can you get me on guys?

He asked me to come on this podcast live on a Go Off King switch. He was like, yeah you gotta gotta have me on and jesse was like are you fucking kidding me dude did you just honestly do that um um if i can just give one little plug do if you never watch my channel watch it this week's episode i think is really good i have uh prank calls to bethany mandel jesse single and um rudy giuliani has a video call-in show now and we got him there so yeah check it out not even a show and one of these days i will chris won't flub the prank we do and i will get

to i will be on not even a show it just forgot to record well we don't we don't need to bring that up over and over again every opportunity that it comes up he just forgot to record and we were gonna like really make fun of a freak but we did i mean we did and he didn't do that yeah chris didn't record it but i was he had me talking about like swinging and shit like that to this texas state rep yeah texas state rep well thanks everybody for doing it. Thanks for listening. And we'll see you next week with Softball Guys. Bye. Bye.