Guys: With Bryan Quinby - Sex Guys with Chris James and Mike Hale

Episode Date: February 14, 2023

Murder Bryan Presents Guys a Podcast About Guys There are so many guys out there and this show will show you types of guys and even specific guys. In episode 1 we took a look at Sex Guys by reading reviews of Hedonism II, Porno, Sex Board Games, and swingers clubs. Me, Mike Hale (Your Kickstarter Sucks) and Chris James (Not Even a Show) try to figure out what makes the Sex Guy tick and, more importantly, what they complain about.   Find Chris James at Patreon.com/notevenashow and @thecjs on twitter Find Mike Hale at patreon.com/yourkickstartersucks and @dogboner on twitter

Hello and welcome to Guys, a podcast about guys, which almost got broken this week. The first week I almost broke the fucking show. This week I have with me Chris James, of course. He will be here a lot. How are you doing, Chris? That's nice. Some people are just like there was a few few people were just like oh fuck well um but some people probably kind of excited

to hear it um now i'm curious what does it mean you broke the podcast what does that mean i'm gonna explain that when i bring up the the next guest so i brought i had to do the first episode on nasty porno guys because first of all it's a very funny concept that uh my guest mike hale basically came up with and i'm not even paying him for the idea i just decided we're going to do we're gonna look at some nasty porno guys what's up mike hey what's up yeah i invented the idea of a guy being disgusting and uh nasty i invented that i was honestly before i met mike i saw nothing but normal guys on the internet and then all of a sudden i started hanging out with this guy and he was just like turned me on to the fact that guys can sometimes be a little bit nasty and gross you're looking at normal guys over there yeah well the porno thing is so funny because i you know

obviously am not like a very publicly horny guy you know what i mean so yeah that's true we need to work on that and we're gonna but and also i mean i guess you're not publicly horny you do post photos of wrestlers with you know hard erect cocks yeah well that is different than being horny that's kind of funny in a way like the fake wrestler penis so you're saying that are you so are you saying i just want to be clear then you're saying that at no point when you're looking at these photos of you know whatever steve austin getting sucked off by the rock i don't know if that's a lot of them i think it is probably um do you never get horny at all it's strictly for the humor of it no i don't i don't get laughing too hard to get a boner yeah that's a proven proven fact that you cannot get a boner when you're

laughing too hard they're just so funny but but they're actually to me it's like weird that people jerk off to those things like yes because they're fake i saw that ai girl thing and i wasn't like horned up by the ai girls i was just like that's a cartoon like i just see it all as like a cartoon yeah you need it real you like hyper realism oh yes i do i love it but something that i when i decided to do this i i want this show to be about guys you know and i started looking at reviews and stuff for swingers clubs and sex resorts and even porno and the thing i noticed was there's so many there's so many many women, uh, doing these reviews too. And I, they were, there were some funny ones, but I was like, I can't, I can't break the show on the first episode and be like, also here's some women. So, uh, uh, it was very strange to see. First of all women will review um porno and they will review sex board games men don't really

review sex board games is the thing that that i learned um learning some pretty cool stuff yeah sex board games dude so that was the first place well not first place. I went to reddit.com. I went to r slash swingers, which, Mike, you might want to check into that. It's very porn-y. Oh, my God. Yeah. So to be clear, just to be clear, you sort of thought, hey, I'm going to do a podcast about guys, different kind of weird guys on the internet or just in life. And you started thinking you wanted to find porno weird

porno guys and so you went out on the internet searching for weird porno guys i mean that's what i do so you just you do that normally and you're but you're saying and like this one's more pointedly towards porno guys right or sex guys sex nerds let's just say sex nerds for this one, which is the most useful internet word of all time, I think. The first time I saw that, I was like, oh, yeah, that's what they are. They're sex nerds. So, yeah, this first episode, I went out looking. This isn't stuff that I would normally look for When I'm preparing for a podcast But this is a new podcast

So I didn't know what I was looking for So I just went out looking for where These guys are And then found some funny stuff from them Now Mike sent me An insane Talk of porno guys that i will say this uh uh rivals my um shock jock spreadsheet that i have i like have this massive shock jock spreadsheet

with like time stamps and stuff like that yeah and i fucking looked at this doc and i was like okay so if i die people will be like this guy was super obsessed with shock jocks but if mike you know if mike kicks it they're gonna be like this guy loved porno guy i loved was this guy attracted to older men who have their penises out and stuff like that yeah i mean that would be a fair thing to believe if they found sort of your phone like all of your stuff you'd have all these photographs no i wasn't i'm fucking in the ether trying to scream i wasn't jacking off to that it was just for laughs it was for laughs

like it's fine like whatever it's like no big deal if you're into old fucking guys and shit but that wasn't what it was about for me it wasn't about that for me the funny thing about these guys is like i think about like in fucking 1998 when i was on the internet looking for porno i probably would have been like hey this is some good porno like i wouldn't i would it would have never occurred to me to to not maybe talk about or review it in a chat room well hang on a second though hang on a second so let's let's be let's be clear here so in order to be a porno guy or a sex nerd because the guys that mike is is highlighting here on twitter that i'm sort of familiar with, they are directly responding oftentimes to, you know, porno girls or cam girls and stuff like that. So I am very interested in how you

become somebody like that. And I think that's a little bit different than, you know, somebody who, I guess, reviews something. Maybe there would be some overlap. something whether maybe they would there would be some overlap well i mean pictures of you with your kid like you you go to google reviews and you're on a swingers club and like the the the picture their avatar is a picture of like a toddler that is very strange behavior i would say i wouldn't say that's even i would say that goes past strange. I would say that that is that I wouldn't even put that in strange. I would say that that needs to be maybe looked into. And I would say that that's potentially, you know, maybe not good at all. Yeah.

I would say even arguably, maybe not something that I am going to be necessarily trying to mine for comedy on this podcast well the thing is they are just using the same account that they use to like review the cracker barrel or something like that that's what's weird about it because like you see a guy's fucking real name on google and he's talking about sucking and fucking and it's like whoa man that is i mean people can search that you know like employees eight nights seven days of absolute pleasure right beside my pinkberry review or whatever yeah so so so what is so that is a review of like the swingers thing like like that you're seeing. I'm, I'm, I'm totally, I don't know if I'm like some people who are listening here, but I'm a little bit still in the dark here about like who these guys are and where we find these guys and what these guys are all about. let me start this by going to the big place hedonism too you guys know about hedonism too right it's a sex uh resort for people and when you i know it from probably like hbo specials

about it that i've never seen that i've only heard about in the 90s because i was too poor to afford like real sex you're talking like yeah like yeah yeah yeah that i remember hearing about it like yeah like i would think about like girls gone wild or something like at hedonism um but yeah i don't know that i know i know that it just means set like a lot of wild debaucherous sex well let me help you out here uh hedonism hedonism two's uh description on trip advisor is is something so what is hedonism the sexiest place on earth where you can be wicked for a week hito hito two hito two h2 or h2 so there's a lot of uh different names for it no matter what you call it, Hedonism 2 is the world's most iconic adult playground, an all-inclusive paradise where you can turn your fantasies into reality.

Experience what you only read about in erotic novels and let loose. Be as mild or as wild as you like, people travel to Hedonism 2 from all corners of the world to live out their fantasies, to escape their inhibitions, to play. Life is too short. Do it now before the later becomes never. Your pleasure is our passion. So that is their description of the club. I'm looking at the amenities here for the resort.

They have canoeing, cable satellite TV. That's nice. That's nice. You can watch whatever you want. Watch a show. Watch your shows if you like. I'm like, canoeing? Watch your shows.

Well, I mean, you don't want to miss your shows. But the canoeing, too, would be very peaceful. And I'm just thinking here. I'm just spitballing here. But maybe you're canoeing sort of along a gentle little canal and someone's just fucking going to town eating your fucking ass all i can think about is like some guy going there and like because one of the things they did my ass ate in the canoe yeah man are you kidding me hey how was your vacation buddy got my fucking salad toss canoeing down the canal it was really peaceful it was actually super peaceful insanely pleasurable as well so larry wrote a review on january 8th and uh he said

excellent as usual with a few issues oh larry larry is a fucking regular and larry likes his things a certain way it sounds like a game of thrones name yeah totally larry as usual hito is amazing it was my eighth trip home okay so like he calls it home they all do that's so funny it's so funny when like a little group of like people doing something has like their specific names for it it's so funny yeah yeah it is sort of cult like it's a little cult like right it does have that and definitely home has that feeling of like get it we're getting we'll get on a spaceship and go there as well take this up here what's going home so uh we enjoyed all the food especially the specialty restaurants overall an amazing time with one imagine wait i just the specialty restaurants can you imagine what those are? I worry about eating naked.

I really, when I read this, when I read the reviews and stuff like that, I really do worry that they're, like, eating naked at the restaurant. And they're, like, because there is a nude side and a prude side, right? That's what they call it. And the prude side is clothing optional. So a guy like me could go there and be on the prude side. It would be fine. But then there's the nude side where clothing is clothing optional so a guy like me could go there and be on the prude side it would be fine but then there's the nude side where clothing is not optional it is you need to be naked so like i uh i i think like most of the i can't imagine going to a sex resort and then being on the side where you're not naked you know yeah why would you even go i know exactly

not not not me sitting over on the prude side fucking leering creepily at the at the nude side just yeah dude there is a thing that they do there guys where if you go look through the reviews, they have a sign that says hedonism too and like a flame font. And guys will stand naked. So just so you can tell they're naked but not their dick by the sign. And that's where they take their picture to, I guess, share with their family or something. I don't really know what happens on these trips. Your uncle's crazy. Setting his Facebook as the fucking banner.

Yeah, his Facebook banner and his nephew or whatever. Hey, Uncle Carl, you're such a weird guy. Uncle Carl's just a weird guy, I guess. Just a weird guy, I guess. did your uncle tell you about his sex vacation have you guys considered going went on with his new girlfriend yeah i mean listen i think a guy that goes with his girlfriend is a lot different than a guy that goes alone oh yeah i guess i didn't think about people going alone oh it's weird because i only thought about people going alone i i i i think chris i would be on that side too in that like i mean you really have to work i think have to work your

your significant other to be like okay we get two weeks off a year two weeks off work a year i think that they would have to be like because there's obviously sex couples like you know what i mean like couples who are into really kind of wild sex stuff um yeah it's disgusting yeah yeah yeah no no yeah no say call it what it is absolute disgusting you know debaucherous against god you know yeah yeah that's another thing about a lot of the five-star reviews for it is they talk about how clean it is which i do want my hotel to be clean but when you're talking about a sex resort and they're like you won't believe how many times they sort of

clean the chairs outside and then i just started thinking like you could really sit and come at this place you could just sit down in a chair without checking and you could come you definitely could i mean yeah it's not it costs extra no but one of the reviews said uh it was great we were there for 11 days they drained the pool for two of them but they got it back up and running within two days and i was like oh we all know we all know what happens like we've all been in a public pool. Why you got to drink in a public pool? Yeah. When you're in a public pool, you close it down for one reason, one reason only, Dookie in the pool. There can't be shit. There can't be shit.

Yeah, it's got to be. And that obviously is going to happen. People are having all kinds of, you know what I mean? I don't need to tell the adults listening how Dookie can end up in the pool At a sex resort So he goes like the overall amazing time With one issue This is our second time going December 11th through 18th When a certain group which will not be named

Is there Which I don't I can't figure I think everyone knows Maybe everybody knows Maybe it's a certain group that shows up this club or whatever they have like they have like fucking uh groups in groups and territorial yeah totally yeah uh overall so he goes uh they were okay we will never book when they are there again they were often the pineapple club was there again with their bullshit

he goes they were rude to the wait staff and in general unfriendly to other guests this was my personal experience and others may have been experiencing good interactions with this group other guests told me they felt the same way i did according to what i have heard groups are not allowed to take over public spaces but on at least two nights the group had a silent disco in the nude pool slash hot tub and had they're not allowed to do this and they got away with it i cannot believe this is clearly against the rules at the new disco pool party and then this guy just goes back to his regular life after this yeah it reminds me yeah just like a wild just a wild debaucherous i mean nobody here has seen um have you seen

infinity pool no i've not seen it yet okay because it's just like the wildest vacation ever in a much more i won't spoil anything but, it reminds me of that guy. Now at the end of it, they're all just going back to their everyday lives at the end. Yeah, it is kind of wild to think. And going back to your everyday life and then writing the review when you get there. Because I go to restaurants and I've never been to review. You're supposed to be on volleyball for uh 90 minutes is the limit on volleyball and they took they took an hour and an hour and a half uh just to set up

just to set up it was an hour and a half and then they kept they played for at least basically hog the volleyball all the whole time as a non-group member it was just plain weird to have 50 people doing a silent disco and singing out loud badly in most cases to music oh whoa whoa hang on fired that's actually kind of disrespectful there yeah i mean don't be this is a vacation don't be judging fucking american idol yeah no shit thanks a lot simon we're all being judged on like our our dick size or fucking the kind of fucking we do not this this is totally fair um he goes uh please please please do not let groups do silent disco in the nude pool at night it excludes others and ruins the vibe. It is very, very weird to those not participating in silence. You really have to experience it to understand.

If Hedo allows other groups to do this, I may reconsider my vacation dollars. Oh, okay. Alternatively, I'll go to Disney. Vacation dollars, yeah. Go to Disney. alternatively if hito themselves did an exclusive silent disco where all guests could participate even for a fee then this would be a great idea hito should be about inclusion it is home and no one should be excluded at home so this person wants to like be an organizer you know what i mean like just has no power in their life to affect anything and so it's just like this is how it should be this is

the way i want it is the way like the people running hito are like yo like we're running a successful business like we know what's going on you know the one thing we were missing was this guy's input shut the fuck up get out of. Get out of here. Get out of here. And also, and by the way, I heard those people sing, and they were fucking fine, all right? They were trying their damn best, and that's all that matters. They were going for it. I do think people who review are weird.

I agree. In general. In general, no matter if it's a sex thing. I was discussing, I will only put a review if, like I did recently, when the mover when i was moving did a great job and i gave a review they're a small time independent mover and they a lot of that that helps them a lot at google review so only a good one what what was that face brian such a good boy they were independent movers i go to the small business mover oh because they were cheaper i didn't do it in an altruistic

way i did it to save a buck i did it to save a buck because i'm fucking poor but but the reason that i left it was because i was like recognize this could help them but the people who are like leave bad reviews are weird but the weirdest people are the people who just leave like three star review you know we're just like not helping this happened and it was okay. Right. So this was another section I didn't believe existed. But on Amazon, you can search sex board game on there. And everybody's seen the sex board games, right? They're, like, at the Lion's Den or the porno store. And you're like, who gets these?

Because I can't imagine like mike's probably reviewed a few of them oh like on his kickstarter podcast yes they probably they probably yeah that seems like something they would do a kickstarter for definitely a part of one every week one every week so this game is called the Monogamy. All of them get. Sorry. I was just saying that every single one of them gets funded. Yeah. It's one of the most popular. I mean, they do.

I mean, board games on there and shit are like, I mean, it's low risk and shit. So, I mean, what's it take to print a fucking card game or whatever? Yeah. This game is called Monogamyamy board game a multi-award winning board game i i didn't find the the awards so they said they won multiple you can get this delivered to your house overnight uh so that's something i could that's kind of fucked it's kind of wild is that that feels like the same day on that i on that? I guess I'll hold my nut until tomorrow. Prime overnight, 4 a.m. to 8 a.m.

We could get up tomorrow. I feel like that's refreshing the tracking on it. That's hard, man. I feel like to get that type of shipping. How are they guaranteeing that? Monogamy. About this item. Real quick.

Monogamy. It's so hard to put into words just how good the monogamy about this item real quick monogamy it's so hard to put into words just how good the monogamy board game is and why it works so well you won't fully appreciate just how dynamic it is until you play it and it says board game a game of monogamy is so much more than just your typical game it's an exhilarating exchange on multiple levels that you share with the most important person in your life. Explore your relationship. The monogamy board game allows you to try new things together and set aside time for one another and have fun while you're at it. Which I don't need a board game to, like, me and my wife have a date night and it's like, it's just not working for me, man.

We need a board game that tells us when to suck and fuck. Yeah. So you're, yeah, some couples, I guess, but maybe it can help some couples out, I guess. But you're right. I mean, most of the time, I don't know that a board game is even the best way to get into it. We all know the best way to get into it. You throw on hardcore pornography. You sit at the computer.

You start grabbing at yourself. You walk over and just kind of do the rub thing with your hand like, look at what I'm doing over here. Eric reviewed Monogamy and gave it 2.2 stars out of 5. That's what I give it. So he says it's super boring versus the others.

You got to do each thing two times in a row. Very boring. Takes too long to start getting good versus others. Also, game is very old and just updated. The one card said to stick my phone inside her and call it on vibrate mode. Sorry, I can't fit my iPhone inside my wife call it on vibrate mode sorry i can't fit my iphone inside my wife that would be a little strange wait wait i'm confused so it seems as though one of the cards says to stick your phone in your wife's phone in your wife's pussy well that's that's a bad idea. Put your phone in your wife's pussy and give her a call.

You're right. This game was made by the nastiest radio shock jock freaks. She's a Howard Stern ship. Put some bologna slices on her ass. Hey, let me tell you, when you're doing a little hobbledy-gee with your lady, I'll tell you what you ought to do. You ought to do a little snarling throwing that cell phone into her uh what does he call uh uh who nanny i mean i actually don't know what he calls i don't know what he calls a puss yeah

we're gonna find out hobble maybe it's hobble you know but uh yeah i can't believe there's a take-home board game that was, that's like, ram your phone in your wife's pussy. If you really want to please your lady, man, here's an idea for you. You shove that cell phone up her pussy and give her a call. Give her a call. Give her a call. This wouldn't work anymore because nobody's phone,

everybody has their phone on silent now, you know? Yeah, no uses vibrate anymore it's a fucking shame you know these people with their iphone pro max like also you have to you have to make sure that that phone is is uh is fine underwater because you know she's gonna be what is hell do you like once you start calling it by the end of that call your phone phone is going to be non-operable. Put it in some rice. Immediately take it out and drop it in some rice. Everything's going to be okay. AJ gave it 2.0 out of 5 stars too.

And his title is Not What You Might Think. My fiance and myself bought this for Valentine's Day weekend getaway for us to play in our hotel room. So that way we would have conversation starters, which that is so to me, I don't need help talking to my wife. So the major issue to be honest would be that it doesn't feel like how it's described to be. The cards are misspelled multiple times that's very funny

getting fucking mad put your finger in her anus It's A-N-I-S. I don't understand. It's about getting to know your wife better. And I was one of them. Put a fucking phone in her phone up her ass. This is going to bring you guys closer together. It probably will. It probably will.

It probably will bring you closer together because it'll be like a serious like. Yeah, you'll be in the hours following the lovemaking session or whatever when you're trying to get the phone out of your ass. Yeah, and you're like at the hospital. It's like a huge ordeal that you put. Look at us. Yeah, you put yourself through. We're always doing crazy stuff like this. I love you. Look at each other in the waiting room at the hospital.

I love you so much. I love you. I love you, too. You should have got a bigger phone. Remember that time we went to Hedonism and you got that remote stuck in your pussy and we went to the hospital there? Brian, I love Brianrian i like the idea that

jaws like the guy at jaws said we're gonna need a bigger phone you know all right uh the cards repeat way too much as well and the questions are not conversation starters but more of a mundane questions about what the average woman likes or what the average man likes you are also the one in charge of if one person moves forward based off if you like what they said so the game mechanic he's not super fond of either um i don't know if you want someone to win or not to win you can just tell them no you don't like it i see so if you're playing one-on-one you are in charge of if the other person moves forward yeah and now you can just sort of it gives you the opportunity to just dictate who wins yeah you and if you're trying to win you know it does seem like kind of a weird game to try to win at in the

in the conventional sense like to try to get to the end first you know really competitive about do a fucking victory dance when you're done throw the dildo on the ground just like the thing like your the wife's uh cell phone of the wife's pussy when you're like trying to win so you like shove it in your own stuff what what can i show him i'm not letting you win this you're not getting the covenant cell phone grabs it out of her hand and sticks it in his ass like you don't have to do that. Fuck you. I'm winning.

Get it competitive at my sex more game. Wow. The four chili questions, I think that's chili peppers for spicy. So they have different levels of question question so he goes the four chili questions are not very spicy they're just questions of can you name this sex toy or give this pubic haircut a name for a couple who use toys already or would rather have a deeper conversation you won't find that in these and knees uh please never pay 34.99 this. I found a simple can of truth or dare questions that started a better conversation for this for $6.99

that you could easily play with other couples and not worry about a quote winner. So that guy's really concerned with who wins the game. Maybe his wife was all about like trying to win and it pissed him off his fiance i mean i guess that's that's like a good point um so the next thing i grabbed was uh uh some so maybe some uh porno reviews which i thought were kind of strange i only have a couple here but the first one is on a video called swinging 41 year old moist mom abby summers loves that dick and hubby agrees and uh that's nice that's

nice a hubby this guy's full name first of all he uses his full name as his screen name even his middle name probably older older guy name. Probably an older guy. Older guy, probably. Usually older people use their full names, but not always. He goes, how long you been fucking the same guy, sweetie? 99? The way you said that was like a fucking 1940s guy.

Yeah. He says, and I don't know how to say this number so it's 99,999 billion years in a row 678 years at a time sweetie body looks great bitching on pornhub at all if you show up for sex fucking the same cast you're whole so that was uh he's just mad because she fucks the same guy in her porno all the time this guy is like can you i just am imagining him with this fucking dick like his chafed up dick in his hand just like furiously typing that like when's his when's his dame gonna switch to a new uh fella a new fella bring on a new fella over there bring a new fella in here i'm taking a look into the same dick

the next one's called come inside my wife homemade real video okay okay so this is like a homemade one this is like legitimate how are you finding these from your playlist or what is it i just went to porn hub and looked for funny named uh things with the most comments which by the way you have to click the most comments and i was like sitting down for the comments and i was sitting with my wife and i was like this is for work this is all because it would just start out with like porno noises uh this guy did not use his name but he said uh you two are so sexy i was hoping you'd suck his balls and you did such a turn off that's so awesome though when you're watching a movie and you're like hoping something will

happen in it you know this guy's balls oh hey hey go get in here remember are you saying what you were saying you hope what happened here is happening are you getting the damn nachos carly it's happening yeah no i love when i'm watching a film like if i go to the theaters or whatever and i'm like watching a film i'm like you know what i hope that fucking like you know i hope this particular thing happens in the movie so i can feel that very cool uh keep the pubic hair or give a more in a trimmed fashion as you have it beautiful and you're so darn cute and sexy thanks for your videos good porn is a beautiful thing so hey that guy is like a connoisseur of parties quite respectful yeah yeah he's quite respectful comparatively to some of the porno commenters yeah some of them i can't believe guys comment on porno like that it just i mean most of them

i will say have like nine comments and they're mostly other women that are on the porn site you know like the the whatever the blue check mark is on porn yeah yeah they're just they're just cross marketing yeah yeah i wish i had this in my pussy which i have by the way and which you can see at least i've heard that's how it works i've never never been privy to uh any of this stuff i don't know what this is porno i've never been is the site that you referred to i guess it's a porno site the one that he said what's it called porn hub no i've never heard i'll look it up i'll look it up i guess it i guess brian's saying it's porno but i have have no idea. It's just the first one I thought of, guys. Come on.

This is the swingers community, r slash swingers, that I went to and looked through yesterday. I spent a lot of time yesterday. I learned some of the lingo. If you guys want some help, I can throw some at you. First of all, swinging is not called swinging. It's called the lifestyle. I learned that. So if you guys are looking to swing, make sure you say you're into the lifestyle.

Like the mafia, how you don't call it. You got to call it the business. Yeah. Is it the biz? I don't think it's the business. I don't think it's the business. I don't think that's the – Can I just say quickly that I have a story of swinging not that I

did it myself I was I was doing a I was doing a uh prank on Roger Stone with Brendan Walsh and one of the things we were like pretending that Brendan Walsh didn't know his mic was on and he was saying like ask Roger about swinging like if I can if I you know because Roger Stone's into swinging and roger stone sent me a message afterwards being like how dare you like my wife is sick and then i was like oh no i didn't know that mr stone i wouldn't have made fun of your wife being sick um had i or i made fun of her i had to know she was sick and he's like you know what all is fair in love and war i understand humor sir good day and good luck i swear to you roger stone yeah so it's like hey i'm an honorable guy he is but he swings i mean it feels like is he a florida guy chris yeah i think so i mean bubba's obviously

a florida guy just just called one of bubba's guys the other day lomax and said hey i heard that bubba used to pay you by letting you fuck his wife and then he took me totally seriously and was like no i never did and i was like oh what the fuck i was like he never let you he fucking let everyone you never and then uh so yeah the florida is huge on the swinging lifestyle oh yeah brent hatley which is like like Bubba's old producer and Howard Stern's old producer, was living in New York. And he was like, the swinging in New York is terrible. I got to move to. I got to change locations. Yeah.

That's crazy, dude. I would just jack off. I would start to pack my stuff up and I would just be like, fuck this i'm not moving i'm just jacking off yeah because i hate moving oh fuck do i hate moving across the country across the state like state to state like you're talking about auto renting a u-haul for that or a pod i'm getting a pod i'm hanging up i'm jacking off dude Dude, get a pocket pussy. Fuck your wife. For fuck's sake. Order a pocket pussy.

Well, don't go too far. This will be ridiculous. Draw the line and fucking my wife. Somebody else. That's somebody else's job. That's someone else's job. It's everybody else's job. So this guy went to a swingers club In the dead of winter

I can't figure out where it was He just called it Oh wait As a couple 29 female and 36 male We tried out both exotic desert resort That's EDR And Sea Mountain Inn recently

We had been to Sea Mountain Inn On a day pass last year in the spring And we really liked it We wanted to sea mountain then on a day pass last year in the spring and we really liked it we wanted to try out staying on site so they they there's a sex i can't believe there's a sex resort in the united states i would have never believed that you'd be able to get away with that here yeah they have they probably have like yurts or something yes on premises but but wait wait a second isn't hedonism hedonism is in the united states right that's in jamaica not in the bahamas or jamaica yeah oh really okay i don't know if we have i know there's swingers clubs in the states because i've

read reviews of them i really didn't think there was a sex resort in the United States. I figured like because I'd never been to a resort. I figured that's like all of them, basically, that people go there to fuck, basically. So this is his words. This is his review. This is for the exotic desert, whatever it is. Showed up a day before an event. It felt awkward being naked and in the pool

with five plus guys setting up for the event. So this guy was naked in the pool. There were workers there, fucking. They were all very friendly, just an awkward situation. People started showing up in the evening after 6 p.m. Most stayed clothed or kept a robe on. Parentheses, wintertime.

The few people in the hot tub and main pool were naked and topless. They enforced the no sex in the pool rule, LOL. That seems. This is what I don't understand about these places. You're there and you're taking mental inventory of who is and who is not naked like you're not i mean you're supposed to be it's all about like freedom and losing your inhibition or whatever and you're like sitting there being like well this guy's not getting naked there's not enough naked women here i'm leaving or whatever like i can't say this guy's rod i can't even say this guy's rod at all and what the fuck yeah you're right that is totally

sort of like against what the whole idea is just like letting people and what the fuck yeah you're right that is totally sort of like against what the whole idea is just like letting people do what they want and you know you hear it's non-judgmental like that's the main thing you read about hedonism is that it's like a very non-judgmental place but it does feel like if you're just a dude that's like i'm just gonna wear a towel because i don't even like taking my shirt off you know i'm gonna wear a towel like up over my titties that kind of situation because i don't like even taking my shirt off it's like i'm wearing one of those 1920s bathing suits it's a whole big black and white stripes it's like going to like a water park And like I remember I went to a water park

With my dad one time when I was a kid And I was like I'm just not going to take my shirt off I was like 16 I was like I'm not taking my fucking shirt off at this place There's no way I don't want people to see me without a shirt on And then I tried to go down The first water slide and I got stuck Because my shirt

Like Oh That is brutal and I got stuck because my shirt, like... Oh, shirt brutal. That is brutal. We got to go rescue the little fat kid in his shirt in the water slide. They're yelling. You're doing it specifically to not draw attention to yourself. And you drew a bunch of attention to yourself.

Megaphone, guys. We got somebody with a t-shirted child has gotten stuck i tried like doing the put my hands on the sides and pushing myself down it just wouldn't it wouldn't get moving and i wasn't taking my shirt off so after that i went and took the shirt off and just had a bad self-esteem day at the water park I understand that I think you shouldn't be able to maybe go to a sex thing where everyone's naked and not be naked I guess whatever but it is kind of weird like at a nude beach there is that kind of weird thing of like hey we're showing ever we're showing you our body and if you're not showing you're kind

of just there watching you know you're leering yeah leering but i don't know if it's entirely true but there i know you get that feeling like there's a nude beach in vancouver and i've been there before and if you go there and you're clothed it's uh you know it's a little different vibe people are some people are kind of you can feel it people are like hey you know i'm presenting my whole body i'm showing you my tits, puss, dick, asshole, anus, all that stuff. And you're here all fully clothed. So I don't know if that would be the case at one of these sex. Sounds like not necessarily at these sex clubs or sex resorts.

Yeah. So this guy goes, the few people in the hot tub in Main Pool were naked and topless. They am for. OK, so roughly one to two couples in 40s, two to three in the 50s, and three to four in the 60s. So that's the age breakdown of the people at the sex club. They knew each other as they were part of the organized event and showed up early. Small chit-chat, lots of inside jokes slash puns slash innuendo. When I read that part, I was like, you know the innuendo at this place is

just it's the worst place in the world like it really feels like it would feel bad to be there like people are like hey you know in and out you know hey later later for later after dinner i'm gonna eat some buns right you know what i'm saying sweetheart i'm saying sweetheart hey sweetheart you know what i'm saying there hey slurp up some spaghetti at the uh pasta store uh uh we didn't really connect with anyone so we went to play in the playroom which that's a common thing i don't like that i don't either they call it the playroom. Hey, we're just going to go to the playroom. What's the playroom? What's the playroom? My guess is a room full of people sucking and fucking and jerking off.

Yeah. Like, I don't know what one looks like because, you know, I've never been to a swingers club, but I assume from what I read on one of the things, it's like a room that's really dark with black painted walls and black light is what I think it is, which seems counterintuitive. But I guess you could splatter paint the room so people can't tell. People are jacking off on the walls. Just put a little black light paint everywhere or whatever. Yeah. just put the black light paint everywhere or whatever yeah uh the maze was closed due to

weather which that was oh that's a bummer i'm here to go to the sex maze like i couldn't even i couldn't figure out what the sex maze was other than like oh we went down the wrong we went down the wrong basically that's i i know what a sex maze is i do know this one actually it's like basically it's like a maze like sort of like a hedge like maze but not a they're not hedges it's just like you know you have to walk through and as you're walking through and trying to get to the end there's somebody just fucking eating your ass just fucking eating this shit straight out of your ass well here's what you can't fucking focus because some guy is eating your ass while you're trying to solve like a little he's on like a wheelchair

not really he's on like one of those things for like a broken leg or whatever where he's like wheeling himself along behind you and he's just eating it all the time he's on he's on like a minotaur yeah he's on one of those things mechanics use, just laying back. Oh, wow. Just rolling under, you know, multiple people. So the maze was closed due to weather, but when we walked through, it was very awkward that the floor is made with rocks and not something level slash flat which is like so it hurts your feet to go through the sex maze which or maybe it hurts your back okay is what they're more concerned with you know i'm saying they're looking to have sex in the sex

maze perhaps and they're like it's bullshit that it's rocks because you know uneven it should be like an even ground is what they were saying well but this guy's saying the hotel itself is mostly a shoes on vibe so which to me is like i guess like you might take like i would it probably is good to wear your shoes at a sex resort is what I'm saying. Yeah, that's probably good advice. I think the vibe would be off, though, so I don't know what you'd do. I'm taking my shoes off for sure at a sex resort. First off, if you see a guy's cock, you don't want to look down and see his nasty shoes. Dirt on the bottom of them. Yeah, but think about this.

It's a sex club. It's a sex place. It's a sex place. Some people love those feet. They love to get turned on by them. Get them out of the shoes. Yeah, get them out of the shoes. Let them look at it, for God's sake. It's just a couple.

It's just a couple. You're getting a chance to look at their titties and pussy and ass and anus. And so give them a chance to look at your feet if they're a feet guy slash gal. Look at those New Balances. My nice pair of New Balance shoes. I'm not just going to take them off because I'm at the sex club.

You know what I was thinking? The shoes provide traction if you need to, you know, if you're having some sex or something like that. Oh, I see. Stepping in a puddle is sort of an issue. See, none of your things are valid at all because they're not sex related but see mike brought up a great point which is that yes the shoes can help you to have sex but you're just oh i could step in a puddle yeah and i hope it's i don't want to get all icky yeah that's all i don't want to i know you're at a sex club yeah

thank you we literally said that at the same time you're at a sex club yeah thank you we literally said that at the same time you are at a sex club brian you are worried about getting your feet dirty that is the wrong way to be thinking i'm worried about dirt just like in general in this situation yeah no i don't think you would really want to be at the sex you would fit in there i don't think you would find it like a clean place i think you would be put off but the property is quite large and has multiple areas to get away but only the main pool is heated uh the playrooms were incredibly clean well maintained easy to use i don't know what it's easy to use says him says him guy who knows how to have sex easily. God. Been there all day. Yeah, I can't fucking figure it out for the life of me.

Pools and hot tubs were clean, recently refinished. Great location to go out to downtown shops and restaurants. The vibe I got is EDR is a hotel that hosts nightly swingers parties. This is best for people who prefer the club vibe without having to worry about getting home after. Probably best to stick to weekend events for max social interaction. Now he's reviewing the next one.

We were one of two couples, and the other couple, 60s, he keeps bringing their age, and he guesses 60s quite often. The other couple in their 60s was doing their own thing, so we basically had the place to ourselves. I don't think that seems like a negative to me when you're going to the... Yeah, yeah.

Trying to have a positive review. Giving a positive review of a swingers club. Like, let me tell you, we had the place all to ourselves. We didn't have to worry about anybody getting in our way. We fucked in all the rooms, every corner of the playroom. It was fucking great. And then there was a 60-year-old couple just fucking over there doing their own thing. So it seems like maybe some people just like to go they just go there like like people who go to a

country club and don't play yeah they're not going there for the sex purposes they're going for the relaxing which is like you could go to any other resort or vacation spot why would you i think they're going for the sex but then there's only two couples there and then they're like they weren't feeling the other couple you know what i mean it's like when there's a bunch of people there you could be like okay hey maybe i could find someone but it's like okay it's just you or nobody that's really a lot of pressure i feel like fuck um what happened what happened brian okay so i have a spill what happened sort of i get these these la colombia draft lattes you know what they are they're like in a little can and uh when you open

them they just explode all over the fucking place every time they'll do that tap the top it's like this nitro i don't think they have it all figured out you know um tap the top hey let's get back to the sex talking let's talk about tapping the tap in the bottom well the only thing to add from the previous review is that they added a playroom near the hot tub next morning there were already two new couples and a single lady for the event which by the way learned that a single lady is called a unicorn yeah yeah because they're hard to find heard that yeah yep and uh for people all the stuff with the the little you know the pineapple logo and for the swingers and stuff like that it's upside down and all their little it's like the fucking freemasons or something like what are you doing

yeah it is so much seems so just go check off just go jack like take five minutes and go jack off somewhere and then come back and we'll have a conversation. I know. Well, if I'm in my fucking 30s, if I'm in my 30s, I just can't imagine being like, hey, you know, let's go to the club tonight and just fuck 47 times. This is going to be an hours long thing. Yeah. This is going to be an entire day of shit. All night. yeah it's gonna be an entire day of shit all night i'm going to go to a hotel that i can sleep at for multiple days and that's all i'm doing that's the whole fucking thing you know maybe some

sightseeing obviously they said for people wanting to find other couples weekdays in the winter are going to be very low probably probability but we enjoyed the resort the resort aspect enjoyed enjoyed yes weirdly let him have it come on just let him have it i'm sorry man i'm not even i listen i want everyone to know nobody mentioned in jord in the comments, please. Nobody will mention it, I don't think. Well, they won't now because I've told them not to. They might have before, but don't mention it.

Brian needs this. The first episode, we don't need to be focusing on it. There's been a lot of funny stuff that has been said. No need to focus in on Injured. Yes, that's true. I don't even know how you'd spell it. I guess E-N-J-O-R-E-E. Yeah, I guess enjoyed. Yes, that's true. But he said. I don't know how you'd spell it. I don't even know how you'd spell it. I guess E-N-J-O-R-E-D. Yeah, I guess so.

I guess if you were to, I guess that's how you'd do it. I really enjoyed it. The next morning. Okay. So he goes, weirdly, there were one to two people fully clothed doing maintenance during the daytime. But it didn't feel as awkward as at EDR, likely due to how the place is arranged and layered they really do get a lot of how our health out of how small the space is it looks and feels higher in you pay for what you get which i think it's the other way around there like you get what you pay for yeah

yeah i don't think it's you pay for what you get but uh so it seems like there's an issue at america swingers clubs where they they maybe i guess i would say maybe hire a guy that uh uh is naked to do the maintenance yeah it's off-putting it's off it is kind of weird when the maintenance workers and janitorial staff are just wearing their overalls can you make them maybe get naked with us like i understand that they have to have some way so if you could just like tattoo their like a sort of uniform like thing on to them so we understand that they are but we can still see their cocks and anuses it is an interesting problem to have this because you can't fucking have guy do an electrician work naked but you also he could donald duck it maybe he could go t-shirt no

pants or underwear just the polo with the logo resort yeah totally and then he's just wearing nothing this is a guy that had a question uh on our swingers single male in the lifestyle which by the way that's i i don't feel like that's i don't think you're a swinger if you're single man you know you should not have sex those guys single guys are swingers if this guy is he's like hey i'm looking for somebody to have sex with so he goes single male in the lifestyle had some very enjoyable experience but struggle with premature ejaculation during experiences in the lifestyle if i have vanilla sex with one partner i do not suffer from this anyone had the same experience and managed to resolve this so he's oh i see so he is in the lifestyle because he's having sex with couples yeah i just don't together so so that is that is kind of their swinging so he's involved in the lifestyle whereas he might

himself he's not swinging he is having sex with people who are swinging yeah well somebody helped him out and said there are many different ways to curve this person's curve but i guess it's fine to say that's funny there are many different ways to curve this short term easiest ways to masturbate slash get off beforehand as long as your refractory period will be smart comment left by a einstein yeah that's one of the smartest things ever that reminds me of a jerk off before you it's like such a classic thing though it's like almost like straight out of a fucking Curb Your Enthusiasm episode. Jerk off. You know, make sure you take the long way there to like kind of get yourself horned back up again.

That is good advice, though. That is genuinely good advice. I think that is good real world advice that will work probably. Right? Yeah. So he goes beforehand, as long as your refractory period will be good your second time will always last longer during your swap keep mixing up what you're doing do some piv i don't know what that is penis and vagina penis in vagina well just why

can't you just put fuck do some fucking because there's different because there's anus fucking and there's other types of fucking that's a fair point i did not know that yeah me and mike hadn't heard that yet piv is penis and vagina yeah uh when getting close pull out and go down on them use your fingers everything at your disposal grab your cell phone i once i once called the um like a men's rights kind of guy, like a pickup artist, you know? And I said, hey, what do I do? I got a micropenis.

You know what I mean? And he told me very honestly. He said, get that tongue game going. So I think that's good. I think that is good advice, definitely, for obviously keeping yourself from cumming, but also just in general. If you don't think you're good at fucking, if you got a bad dick or whatever, get that tongue game going. Well, he also says use some lidocaine spray slash numbing condoms. They'll work magic.

Less is more as you still want to feel something. So don't use too much lidocaine spray on your heard of that never heard of that so there's that's something to actually make it so you can't feel anything yeah it's a people gnoming agent for you that is i have i have genuinely not heard of that before it's really funny to me the idea of guys just like spraying their dick numb so they don't come uh so he says uh in the long term so he's given some long-term advice here practice edging slash denial every time your penis is receiving pleasure build yourself up three times wait a minute or two then continue on the fourth or more allow yourself to ejaculate.

Do this for as long as you would want a play session to be. So that is like, that's real inside stuff I just gave you. I feel like it's really, I think when you start edging, I think that's when you sort of take the, you jump over the cliff into like being like a sex person, I think, in my opinion i have to agree like denying yourself just because like mike said you could also just do this all in five minutes and just be done with it for the other day i got shows to watch yeah i'm

be edging my penis not paying for all these streaming services. I'd be edging my penis all day. Sorry, honey. I couldn't go to the grocery store today. I was edging my penis. Practice being more aware of what's happening with your body. If you truly pay attention to what's happening, you'll notice your body is getting too excited quickly. Use your brain to slow things down.

Which brain? Practice meditating and controlling your breathing, and it'll make a difference. So the next one is do Kegels. Look it up. This needs to be a regular exercise you practice every day after a few weeks you'll notice a different i don't know i've heard of i've heard of kegels before i thought it was a something that women do but i don't know exactly what it is i thought it was an exercise women did for like um vagina uh tightness or or like, am I wrong?

It's the thing you do when you stop peeing, right? The manual. That's the muscle, right? I'm not sure. Am I misremembering that? I'm not sure. I think we sound very, I mean, I definitely sound stupid here, but I don't know.

Yeah, I don't know what this is. I mean, I guess we look it up, though. That's what he told us to do. So, Brian, you want to look it up and see what these are involves repeatedly contracting and relaxing the muscles that form part of the pelvic floor i don't know how to do that i don't think i have that kind of control over my body you know i think it's i think it's when you stop peeing and stuff i think that's your kegel muscle oh so if you just go in there i'm doing it right now i'm strong as hell down there you go in there and take it strong as hell man because i'm always like sitting there like crossing my legs like not like when i really

have to pee um when i'm out at the mall or whatever with my mom you know yeah it's like i'll just like she's like i know you have to go go. And I'm like, no, I don't. You know, but then I actually do. And I'll hold it for so long. So here's an interesting one that I think is is a really good question. And it's the question is, are there working class swingers or is everyone in the lifestyle kind of well off? And he says, I'd like to participate in the lifestyle at some point but i'm a broke boy from a broke family and don't really see that changing as i'm frankly not smart enough to be a doctor engineer lawyer etc every time i think of swingers i think of rich middle aged people are there people in the lifestyle who are just like baggers at trader joe's or whatever or is everyone highly esteemed

like in the movie eyes wide shut and i i gotta say i don't think anything that i've noticed doing research for this episode shows high esteem in the swing i do kind of know what he's talking about though i definitely do feel like it's all like dentists who have a boat it does feel like the florida swingers that i sort of have come in contact with in my you know life they do seem that way not like not super rich people but definitely upper class people i think it's a valid question i think this person has low self-esteem as well, though. I'm not super smart, but I do still like to jizz. Yeah, I'm not smart enough to fuck another guy's wife. Here's a question.

Some of my spare time is spent creating unique outdoor environments. I have two currently. One, a wooden deck built halfway up steep forested hill about 75 feet above the bottom very isolated and peaceful and invisible to the outside world enough room for two couples to nude sunbathe the next thing is um number two an actual igloo large enough for one couple to roll around in or two couples to be really cozy. Private and very soundproof, this shelter is temporary until the spring temps melt it. I know interest exists in the world for adult activities in the outdoor.

None of our current lifestyle friends are jumping up and down for what I view as a hot once-in- experience how would i go about connecting with that very smaller subgroup within the lifestyle that would have interest in very specific extreme locations so well this seems cool because like to me if i were into the swinger lifestyle i think this would appeal to me i'm i'm into the outdoors it kind of seems cool but it's scary because easily murdered true true predators and stuff oh yeah no no i mean by the other person or by predators from the movies too yeah no that's guys i think you're misunderstanding what i'm saying i'm not talking about laser dot on your middle of your forehead so specifically the predator you're talking about the predator from the films no no no no i'm talking about the other people you would be going on a swinging

date with you know you're out in the middle of the wilderness i don't want to fucking an igloo is truly like what i was thinking okay hey listen pal i'm right here you don't need to be disrespectful to the your canadian listeners and hosts here that's how they do it up there. That's how we do it up here. Well, here's Harley Spark said, I see a fair number, not a ton, of female profiles who call themselves size queens on some of the apps that we're on. My wife, and my wife is in that group,

though she doesn't advertise. I don't know if this guy is trying to tell people he has a huge penis yeah i don't think so because it's swinging i think it's like you know he's saying she's into it maybe he does it you know he's a he's a cuckold although she doesn't advertise it she refuses to meet up with men she considers small and always insists on dick pics before agreeing to meet up wondering for those considers small and always insists on dick pics before agreeing to meet up. Wondering, for those who consider yourself size queens, what is your size cutoff? And what is your method of assessing whether someone meets your standard?

This guy's just like, hey, man, like, can I qualify with my 5'5"? Like, is that like it's decently big? Like, can I try to lobby my wife to say that I'm big enough? Now, the comments for this are just full of people explaining how you measure your dick from your butthole to the end is one of them from your balls to the end. If it's from your if it's from your balls, like the bottom of your butt, it's not. It's from the top part of the shaft to the end that's how you measure it from your stomach yeah exactly to where it where it goes from your belly button to your how i've always measured it uh yeah so i saw i i can, my wife is a fan of her nine inch girth toy.

So I'm laughing at one of some of these people called size queens. So more than nine inches. So where is that? Oh, here's one. I'm the anti-size queen. First of all, I'm interested in the guy and what he's bringing is perfect for me. I never seek anything out. I'm sure we'll enjoy ourselves and i love me a reality dick which fyi is like 90 of men including those in the lifestyle i've slept with and seen a person over 100 i've seen in

person over 100 cocks average is five five and most men fall within that range give or take an inch or two and the number of seven inches i've seen is very small now can can i brian can i go but when you said that thing about the girth nine inches were you reading something i thought i did i say girth nine inches no. But you were you were reading something there, right? Because you just sort of like you busted into it and you said, like, I'm laughing about this because my wife, like, it's sort of just like your toy. Yeah. Like you added it. I don't like you added it.

OK, totally honest here. I don't have any toys or board games. Not even a fuck sleeve. Not even sex dice. Not a not a single toy you kidding me man you don't got a fucking vibrating fucking pocket anus no you don't have the double xl realistic sex ass and vagina i don't have a ball though what i just wanted to clarify that because i think it sounded like I just want to clarify that's not what you were saying.

Yeah, I wish I could find I meant to put another comment here, but on here where a person said that he talked to a woman who said she fucked somebody with a 13 inch dick. And the guy's like, I don't believe it because i don't think anybody has 13 inch dick and i really liked that comment but it didn't uh didn't show up uh people do have 13 inch dicks by the way you don't know that measured from the bottle no no no i know i do that i mean that guy who the sal and richard used to prank or whatever maybe his isn isn't 13. Yeah, no, I think it is. I think it's over 13 that Jonah, whatever his name is, Jonah Falcon, biggest penis in the world. So now I have the final swingers question here. I'm male, 29, throwing a gangbang for my wife, female, 26.

We're not sure how it's supposed to flow initiate. We're new to this, but both completely okay with it expecting around nine guys to include myself any advice appreciated so some gangbang advice happening and uh here it is uh so for a really good and successful gangbang you need to invite twice as many guys as you feel you want you may end up with too many but that shouldn't be a problem for this well well how do you know it shouldn't be a problem what's too many sounds like it could be a problem guys and a bunch of horny guys and not all of them get to bone it sounds like it could be a huge problem oh i thought i was gonna... Oh, no,

it won't be a problem. You want to invite an extra amount of dogs to the feeding. And just like, some of them won't get fed in the end, but it won't be a problem. So he says,

I would also recommend four ladies to help with the action. Two can be fluffers and get the guys hard and inspect the condoms. The other two would be the favors. This is a logistical and financial nightmare getting all this together.

Honestly, it sounds like this person is like, what are you talking about? I don't think you need all this stuff. I only have experience booking guests for podcasts. But if this is anything like it, good lordy. That's your work cut out for you trying to organize fluffers just need to come over and jack these guys off well they also need ladies to uh uh so it says uh the other two would be the favors those are the ladies that finish the guys off for those that don't finish themselves of, the ladies can swap positions as desired. Be sure to have lots of water or drinks with electrolytes.

Snacks are also important. I was actually going to say that. That was my suggestion for having a good one. Have water and snacks for people. Yeah. Graham crackers. Juice. I don't know about graham crackers.

I'm not sure you want the crumbs or whatever getting involved. I was talking about the Teddy Grahams. Nice. Yeah, because they're bite-sized. Yeah, you toss them in the mouth. Yeah, that's fair. Popcorn. Maybe.

Throw one in somebody. As they're, like, riding some guy's worm and toss it in their mouth. Yeah, you throw a little Teddy Graham. It's playful. It's cool it's important to have fun i think you know do you think i think the snacks this makes it seem like the snacks are for the woman which to me it's like when is this when are the snacks happening oh i oh i get what you're saying brian you say she's hard to get out of her mouth full as always

she'll be a little bit too busy. She'll be a little too busy, says Brian. I'm thinking like a party tray, like a cheese or maybe like a vegetable tray. A vegetable tray with a, hey, what the heck is this? This doesn't look like ranch. Summer sausage.

Something like that. Summer sausages would be nice. That's something you could prepare yourself for. Cubes of cheese. Yeah. Maybe like a green bean casserole. Yeah. Bring a covered dish to the big sex party. It's like if you've ever been to a strip club, there is always like a little buffet in the corner of like meatballs and stuff like that.

The guys goof on but i assume that they have to be also eating it too like i don't know the nastiest trucker type of guy in the world is loading up on it it's actually pretty good here they make good meatballs um lady the the porn star lady or the lady getting gang bangs taking a break to like eat some sausage and she's like sucking the sausage and she's like wait a second if i'm sucking the sausage then what was i doing to the oh no well here's a here's a logistical issue that you might not have been thinking of. You generally would just be directing, protecting, and keeping the guys moving when she's ready for the next guy.

So that's interesting because now he's saying, like, you can't. You got to be traffic controller. Yeah. You're not going to be in there. It's like waving the flashlights and stuff. Buddy, you're letting people into the venue. You're not on stage. Sorry to say, my man, it's not about you.

It's too bad. So while favors are important, there have been situations where the host lady will finish guys herself and that seems like a lot of added pressure to me and may take from the gang take from the gangbang experience but i can understand that some that some like that remember the whole evening is about your wife and her having the most mind-blowing experience oh and lube more More lube. Have fun. So for people listening to this that were thinking about maybe doing a swingers situation. Or a gangbanger. Or a gangbang. Yeah, there's a little bit of information. Now, I'm looking at the porno guys, Mike's porno guys thing.

guys mike's porno guys thing and the one that is in front of me is joseph constant who is replying to jennifer aniston which one is that let me let me find it's a screenshot uh a little bit down oh yeah i see joseph constant yeah so recently i've been looking through guys who were like replying to these fake celebrity accounts and stuff oh it's not it's not a real this is not the real jennifer aniston it's not no so she's not using jj aniston she's not using she's not using anist anista joe 486 925 or anything like that but but these guys will like uh get hoodwinked catfished by these celebrities and stuff and then they'll go on twitter and like start you know messaging them and stuff like that all angry and they have the wrong guy well jennifer aniston technically i

don't think is on twitter so we don't actually know if jj aniston underscore is not her but uh uh she's not verified so that would be an issue like these old guys don't know that like celebrities like how do they not know about verification do they think jennifer aniston's like publicist or whatever would come i mean they do because they're they're there's a lot of these scams where they will get tricked into sending money to whoever on whatsapp or whatever so they'll get a dm from somebody and be like i'm the president of the ricky martin fan club or something like that it's just you know this old stupid person who's like oh my wow well nobody would say that to me if it wasn't true so i guess you know uh

but ricky but that's weird the ricky martin one seems like like an obscure one like that it's just like that could be true and it's like that could be maybe anybody could i mean just but uh there i mean there's several of them that that've found where, you know, some guy has been like, I want to, he'll get like a DM from somebody and they'll be like, you want to be a part of the Keanu Reeves VIP fan club or whatever. I'll send you a membership card. It's $350. Send it to me at this address. And they'll do it.

And they'll be like, and so there's a lot of them I found. God, I wish I labeled these at all. I just, instead of just throwing them in a dock, but and so there's a lot of them i found god i wish i labeled these at all i just instead of just throwing them in a dock but um well there's that one there that that that has the angelina jolie picture um where it says oh my god so obviously this guy was talking to a spammer and this is the verification that he got it's a it's a picture of angelina jolie photoshopped very badly and it says bobby moore i'm for real 10th september 2022 it's not and it's like it's not written on a thing it's like yeah it's like a handwrite crayon type handwriting fonts or whatever it's a but i mean they just they just fall for it like hook

line sinker i don't know i think it's like i mean people who are yeah getting scammed is has been happening for a long time and i guess it's just this like sort of idea of these guys getting these horny guys getting scammed and i mean guys are most susceptible to scams i feel like when they're horny um they're not thinking straight and so i think this really goes to show these people are you know they're depraved sexual freaks and they're just like they're just like when they're when they're so horny jacking off they like stop they're like clouds their judgment yeah so much where they're like this might be it might be her it might be though where's my wallet what if it's her what if it's her and I miss my chance exactly and they really are like thinking

in that way and obviously they're probably really like easily manipulated and like kind of stupid or whatever but I feel like the horniness adds to it definitely the guy that plays the guy that is convinced that he would have won the lottery had he played it that day. Because those are numbers that maybe sometimes he would pick.

It's the same kind of thing where it's like, well, I know I'm not going to. Like when you buy a Powerball ticket when it's like a trillion dollars. And you're like, well, if I don't buy one, then I can't win. So I have to fucking actually buy it and then fantasize about spending it for like three days and then it's so funny when you're like i'm gonna win and i'm gonna take care of all my bills and then i'm gonna take care of my mom and i'm gonna give some money to uh everybody who needs it and then like uh an hour later it's like you didn't win and you're like the fuck was i thinking i'm never doing anything nice for anybody ever again fuck that shit you get mad now i lost fucking shit

you ever heard of looking out for number one yeah it's a tough fucking world out there hey mom how about you fucking have had more time on earth than me to fucking gain your fortune so figure it out for yourself you do never really hear like where where the where the lottery people you never hear the story of like them helping people in their lives afterwards i know there was that lottery tv show on on hgtv which i need to look up lottery guys yeah lottery guys would be a good one yeah but the lottery show on HGTV That is like These guys win the lottery

And they like move into This ridiculous fucking ugly Stupid house I bought a cat I built a castle in Montana Or whatever on my ranch And it's like fucking 93 million dollars Or whatever Something you would never ever ever be able to sell to anybody you

know something that costs more than all of the houses it's like the most expensive house in montana yeah but joseph constant seems pretty pissed because he's like jennifer i've been looking at what click this one that's right underneath the one that says Jen Aniston up here, right above the Angelina Jolie picture. Okay. Where it is a Jennifer Aniston account, and she is replying, what going on to Daryl Sankey, who says, Twitter, you care about customers on Twitter.

You maybe see Jennifer Aniston and management Sandra William running a VIP membership card scam. You pay between $500 up to $2,000 for a VIP membership card. Don't send and give to weekend. Here membership card that off for $250 for two months. So this guy paid $250 for this membership card, and you can see it right here. The worst Photoshop I've ever seen.

And so he's complaining to Twitter, and Jennifer Aniston replies to him and says, what going on? Just so nice. Okay, can I just give an update on what he's up to, Daryl? So most recently, a couple of days ago a real milf says would you eat my pussy ass or both daryl said both and nipples you don't eat nipples out here chewing on your nipples let me tell you daddy's hungry i mean it's it's crazy that these old guys get caught up like thinking that you would pay like what do you get when you join the jennifer aniston fan club what in the end does he think that like i don't know what you I mean, the chance to talk to your favorite celebrity, I guess, is what they're on January 25th.

He's replying to a woman in a Hooters outfit and says, nice pair boob. OK, I just I just want to say that one minute before he replied to that person saying both at nipples, there was somebody who said, dear friends, I have some terrible news. The disease that caused Bartley paralysis is continuing up his spine, and the most humane thing to do is put him down. And he said, pray for pet, move cross rainbow, bridge to new beginning, no pain. And then one minute later, he's replying to some real milk saying that he would eat both their pussy ass dude it's so funny to like uh because i'll be on here

all day like looking at these guys and stuff and you go to the you find like a guy who's replying to like a porno lady and then you go to his media tab and it's like picture of his dick picture of his dick picture of his dick picture of him and his grandkids picture of his dick picture of his dick it's like yeah what are you doing everybody can see this they don't know though they're those older guys really just have no sort of concept of what it is they're doing they just think like oh i'm fucking horny and this is a chick who's asking a question and i am ready to answer yeah yeah it's fucking nuts that i like can't imagine thinking that jennifer aniston would want to talk to me at all and now i'm picturing the guy's house and like he's probably jerking off to like

fake jennifer aniston porn like a new person showing up at his house like imagine how exhausting it is to be like one of these scammers in like uh lagos or something like that talking to like these old fat truckers all day trying to get them off like just fuck dude i gotta get this old fat fucking bastard off yeah that's right i love ross from friends i got a big pussy i can't talk for long i have to do my show friends let's make this quick i'm gonna do this one uh club princeton review which is the club in Columbus, the swingers club in Columbus, Ohio. Oh, nice. And this is from three years ago.

The guy says, great club. Unfortunately, they have a terrible DJ that only likes to play ghetto music, and he can empty a dance floor faster than any DJ. The club is very nice to bad management. Can't see their clients are not happy with the DJ. We got the racist swinger has entered the chat. Racistswinger.com. Entered the chat. He's like, listen, I was having a fucking fantastic time sticking my full fist into some woman's asshole.

They started playing hip-hop music i was could not believe what i was hearing okay you got to hear this lot that will will go after this uh this is from gordon uh for club princeton and he said uh uh after being a member for 10 plus years, Princeton still disappoints. Okay, well, give up your membership, dude. Event fees seen on the website suddenly skyrocket at the door. Very recently took a date, and the event fee on the website for a couple was $65. Expensive, but okay. When we go there, the the price through the left hand not

knowing what the right hand was doing suddenly became 95 dollars as they charged us each separately and in parentheses he goes i paid 75 dollars as a single male although i walked in with a date uh i chose not to ruin her evening as it was her first time i said nothing and waited until the next day to email my displeasure at this seemingly bait and switch tactic i asked for a 30 credit toward a future event and suggested that they could have solved this problem on the spot because i had copies of the emails where i specifically asked about our entrance fee long story short which by the way i mean they didn't really shorten a long story yeah the owner got offended that i dared to complain he agreed to refund the membership i had just paid for along with an event fee for

halloween i'd paid in advance this guy oh, this is not the kind of vibe for this type of thing. Like, I get it. It's frustrating sometimes, you know, but you're talking about sex club here. You can't be, like, complaining about the fees and things like that. You just have to deal with it. And especially because, like, all sex stuff is expensive. Like, because guys are standing in line outside of these places with fucking hard-ons and it's like uh yeah it's 95 now i don't know what are you gonna fucking yeah it's 95 bucks and there's a

chicken side who will suck you off and the guy's just like here's my credit card here's my credit card and the deed to my house i don't get i don't i don't be i don't i don't get uh complaining about stuff like i'm not i'm not i'm never one to do that complaining about stuff. I'm never one to do that. Complaining about stuff in the moment. Or even after the fact. I went to this theater that was a horror. They only show horror movies or whatever. And I was like, damn, that's so sick.

That's right up my alley or whatever. I went there and it fucking sucked. And they were like, we'll serve dinner too or whatever. And they have spaghetti on a styrofoam plate or whatever and like the chairs were like office chairs or whatever i'm not gonna complain about it i mean it was like money or whatever it sucked but i appreciate you know what they're doing plus there was a bunch of guys with hard-ons there that's good i will complain about stuff if it's a big corporation and I think I can get free stuff from Apple or something like that. But yeah, when it comes to, like I was discussing before, the only time I'll go do a review is to say something positive.

I'm not going to go on and do a review if I have a bad time at some fucking restaurant. I'm not going to go on Google and be like, man, this was a fucking travesty. I might think it to myself and I might tell a person. And never go there again. Yeah, I'll never go there. And maybe if someone asks me about it, or maybe I'll mention it to my friend. Like, I went to this place and it fucking sucked. But yeah, it takes a weird person, I think, to go on and do a review of anything.

Ever. And this guy keeps going and getting owned. Because he's like, he refunded the event fee for halloween i'd paid in advance and finished by telling me that i was no longer welcome here well yeah i agree i mean that's the thing when you're the only swingers club in the city which as far as i can tell it's the only it's like they can just tell you to fucking eat shit you can't't. Don't complain because they this guy, he says, moral of the story, Princeton's owners don't know what good customer relation means. If you complain, they take offense and end the conversation by telling you you're no longer welcome at the club. Instead of making things right and keeping a longtime member, they choose to lose revenue because the owner got butthurt by me calling

them out on poor business practices. In the end, I was refunded all fees, which were immediately used for the Play Champagne Hotel Takeover in Cincinnati. I only came back to Princeton with hesitation in the first place because Champagne was run out of fort wayne i was gladly driving three hours to attend a much better award-winning venue princeton's problem is that they ignore the golden rule the customer is oh fuck off this guy is just horrible this guy sucks shit man i'm all with that swingers club.

You know what? I don't like the vibes. That guy's vibes is so bad and everything, too, that I want to give my business to those Princeton people. And so I'm going to tell you, I've never done this before, but I want to go in there and have somebody fuck my wife. I'll fly you in, Chris. I'll fly you into Columbus. I'll fly you in, Chris. I'll fly you into Columbus. Me, you, and our wives can go to Club Princeton and see what's going on.

One of the big reviews I saw was that there's a lot of single guys there leering at women. So that might be problematic. Well, I hope there's room for one more. I'm kidding. I would, of course, course bring my partner i haven't told her yet but yeah let's let her know well i'll tell my wife i'll go down and tell her right now um well that is the first episode of guys my new podcast that i would i love that we started out like really fucking gross. That is like a way to set the expectation for the future of other gross guys. Next week. Hey, wait.

Did you see on the document where there's a guy who puts his balls in boiling hot liquid? Did you see that? No. He's at the very bottom of the list keeping under underwear it says not great okay i'm penis scrotum chastity i couldn't wait for tomorrow's coffee i had to feel my scrotum dipped in hot liquid so i filled my mug with hot water and did it is he at work what's he saying i can't i'm looking at the pictures and the pictures are good there's a real close-up anyway there's a whole document full of this if you want one of the photos looks like it's like from a fucking sci-fi movie it doesn't look like a person

what i just saw his face i know but what is that what is the one that just looks like like a star wars character it looks like the the image of the guy's body who's like you have to look like this if you want to survive a car crash you you remember that picture? Yeah, that's what it looks like. That body. I like the last one here. After the hot water dip. Next time I will use hotter water. My scrotum wasn't as pink as I would have liked. Also not enough warmth reach my testicles.

So if you are going to dip your balls in boiling hot water, make sure that it's hot enough okay i love that db is like the podcast about dad he's like whoa hang on hang on here's a guy dipping his guy i really wanted to tell you about i'm gonna be following you i'm to follow that guy. Yeah, do it. That's a good idea. Keeping for mine. Yeah, I'll follow him. What the hell? Now, every once in a while, I'll just be looking at my phone.

Oh, his most recent toilet paper roll test on January 27th. Oh, his fucking dick is so nasty. Is it all messed up? He's sticking it and stuff. He also does alt text on the pictures, which is so nasty. You don't mess that up. He's sticking it and stuff. He also does alt text on the pictures, which is very nice. Why is he fucking? He's fucking a toilet paper roll. Yeah, I know.

Let's let's. You got to end this. All right. That's the end of the show. We I will be back next week, I think, is classic rock guys next week. I hope you all enjoyed it. Yeah, we're going to go from this to Classic Rock Guys. You got to do something. You know, find Mike as Dog Boner where he never posts.

But, you know, he's nice, so follow him. And your Kickstarter sucks at your Kickstarter. And Chris is at the cjs uh and he does not even a show and uh here's me uh murder x brian patreon i mean it's all the same i did on the other patreon just in a different place uh i hope I hope you enjoy it Goodbye Bye I did it Oh fuck Come on This guy's dick is so nasty man

Like the red spots Yeah