Habits and Hustle - Episode 226: Work-Life Balance: Does It Really Exist?

Episode Date: March 24, 2023

Does balance really exist - or is it an unrealistic goal? In this episode of Habits & Hustle, we chat about the myth of work-life balance. Oftentimes, we set the expectation for ourselves that we should be able to have it all; it’s just a question of balance. This causes us to get frustrated and disappointed with our performance when we fail - thus why I believe we need to get rid of this false narrative.  What we discuss: 00:35: Does balance exist? 02:19: Morning routines: are they realistic? 04:37: What’s the reality of balance? 06:28: Are you prioritize resting? 08:07: Is there really balance in business? 10:43: How the myth of balance impacts your mental health My links: Website: https://www.jennifercohen.com/ Instagram: @therealjencohen  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Blazing deals, boundless options. It's Hot Grill Summer at Whole Foods Market from June 14 through July 4. Fire up the grill with quality cuts at the best prices. We're talking animal welfare certified meat. Check out the sales on Bone-In-Rib-I, Beef Cabobs, and New York Strip Steak. Round out your barbecue with plant-based proteins, slice cheese, soft buns, and all the condiments. Plus, sales on fresh strawberries, peaches, and more. Don't forget to pie, either.

Get grilling at Whole Foods Market Terms Apply. When there's a penalty on the field, referees are there to sort it out. When there's an accident on the road, that's where USAA steps in. We help make the claims process easy, so drivers can get back on the road fast. Making the right calls. That's what we're made for. Membership eligibility and product restrictions apply in our subject to change. USAA means United Services Automobile Association and its affiliates.

San Antonio, Texas. Hi guys, this is Tony Robbins. You're listening to Habits in Hustle. Crash It. Hello, welcome to Habitson Hustle, solo episode. And today, I really want to talk about something that I don't believe is actually a thing that really exists. You know what that is?

What is that? Thank you, foil. It is balance. I think balance is such a load of crap, because I believe it's really hard to have balance. I think that depending on where you are in your life and what phase and what's going on, certain things are going to take a priority to other things and there's going to be a massive

imbalance. I think when you're building a company and they say, well, just have balance. How do you have balance when you're in the process of building, right? If you are in the process of like transitioning and you're not in that mode, yeah, okay, you can then like work on the balance. But I think that balance, what it's doing, this idea of balance is giving people a ton of anxiety and making people feel really guilty and bad when they don't have it. So I like people to start being real and stop talking about balance

and how we all have balance. And when you say like, how do you do it all? And the answer is, well, I just balance it all out and that's balance. Bologna, I call bologna on balance. That's what I'm telling you. It's like the people who run 13 miles every morning like get out of here.

Well, there are people who run 13 miles. I think that's a huge chunk of time. No, no, no, really drives me nuts are these ridiculously long, extensive morning routines that they're like, first I read like, and then I hold plunge, and then I work out, and then I journal, and then I meditate, and then my morning routine takes me to about three o'clock in the afternoon,

where I then have a shake and then I make a light meal and then do it all over again the next day. To me, that's what drives me crazy. These ridiculous morning routines that are so unrealistic for the majority of people, like give me a break, right? Like to me, a morning routine is waking up at the same time every day and, you know, moving your body, you know, doing a workout that's reasonable, 45 minutes, I think is a reasonable amount, even an hour, I think is reasonable,

having, you know, one or two things that take you 10 or 15, 20 minutes and like call it a day, but these things that people go on and on and on, that's when like you're talking about balance when you're spending the majority of your day doing your morning routine, that is ridiculous. I'm sorry. But they all call it their 5 to 9, but I don't buy that they get all of that done in between 5 to 9. I know.

Well, that whole 5 to 9 thing is a whole other, say what it is because- It's okay. So 5 to 9 is like this idea of everyone has the 9 to 5, but some people wake up at 5 and then they have a whole 5 to 9. And they, but a lot of people act like they get like 30 things done between 5 to 9 and I just don't know how realistic that is. If you, if you go and work out at a gym, you have to drive there, you have to park, you have to go get up, you have to, you know what I mean?

Then you, you, you do your workout, you're working out for an hour, maybe a 10 minute, you know, mobility warm up, then you're stretching for 10 minutes at the end, then you have to shower, then you're just, that's two hour session, then you're driving home. You know what I mean? No, from start to finish, it's like garbage.

You're not getting anything done in that time. You know what it is, it's like people say a lot of shit because it's like trendy. You know what I mean? Like, I find that people's even their hobbies, their habits, or whatever they're doing, is because they heard other people that they follow or people that they look up to are doing it,

so then they do it too. Is it actually the fact that they actually like doing it, are they even doing it most of the time? Who knows? But the truth of the matter is that all of that, that whole like five to nine, this whole long day of the whole day being your morning routine is,

hey, it's not sustainable if you are doing it, but more than that, it's just, then how do you really have balance? If you're spending 97% of your day doing that, you know? I'm talking the basics. I'm talking about balance in life, like work, life balance. That's the kind of balance I was talking about. I don't believe that's actually a real thing. I think that there are sometimes when work takes a precedent,

and it's hard to, you know, focus on everything and do everything well at the same time. And sometimes, you know, you have to put more focus, of course, on your family and your personal life. That's just what happens. It's like a tug of war. That's what real life is. Real life is a tug of war. That's ebbs and flows, that zigs and zags. It's not always water leveling out. I just think that we put too much pressure on ourselves anyway. I think that's setting us up for failure. I think it's setting us up for anxiety and so many other mental health situations when we believe that we should be balanced because that's the hashtag of the of the decade or the year. That's that's my two cents. No, I agree with that. I think also like when you get older, I know you think I'm a baby, but I am 30.

And as I've gone older, I've realized how much more I need to prioritize. I need to prioritize rest. When I was 20, I could go party and then do school because I had time to sleep during the day. I didn't have a job. I mean, I think we're different. It didn't have a job. Do you know what I mean? I think we're different.

It's easier to basically have that kind of like, oh my God, work hard, play hard. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. But I can't really, I don't know. You're an old man. What do you mean?

I mean, with no children. Let me tell you something. Do you go clubbing? If you go clubbing on the weekend. No, but I'm 107 years old. This is what I was gonna say, okay? Like, I do believe people are gonna be on time and home when we're on the weekend. No, but I'm 107 years old. This is what I was gonna say, okay? Like, I do believe people are going to be on time

and home when we're going to be on. Yeah, I know, honestly, like I should call the old folks home down the street and get you a, you know, get you a bed or a cot. I'd love to. Honestly, you're like exhausted. Just constantly clenching how she's tired. Move me in, move me in.

Yeah, I know, honestly. That's a whole, by the way, that is a whole other solo. We could do a whole whole. Okay, I had, honestly. That's a whole, by the way, that is a whole other solo. We could do a whole whole. Okay, I had a good point here. Some of what I was saying is that, like if you are building a company or doing a lot of work, whatever, you have to then prioritize resting.

So you can't like have this whole work-life balance where if you're working 18 hours, then you're all of a sudden like going out at night and having a social life. That's just so not realistic. Yeah, I can't really, that's my point. None of this is realistic. There is a big distinction between what is realistic

and what is just jargon because it suits the ether or where we are in our culture. I think there's a major, major distinction between the two. I'm just saying this is what I believe. And you can disagree, you can kick and scream and yell. I just think it's something that I think we, we as a group of people, we fall into these catchy hashtags and then we try to live by them, which is so unrealistic. And what happens is it just spirals and backfires on us. And that's what happens.

So take the pressure off and think like, you know, it's okay that I'm hardcore in work right now. It's okay that I can't focus on that work right now. And I got to really focus on whatever's going on in my personal life. Guess what? That's called life. That's all. Okay, question for you. I know, join the Facebook group.

No, no, yeah. Well, definitely do that. But hold on a question for you about this. So what do you, do you have a message for people out there? Because I think you're really ingrained in the Facebook group. No, no, yeah, well definitely do that. But hold on a question for you about this. So what do you, do you have a message for people out there? Because I think you're really in gray in the fitness world. And a lot of people see these people who have, you know, 0% body fat, whatever, 5% body fat. And they don't realize that to attain that actually requires literally no balance.

So what's your message to that? A great example, right? And I think to me, what happens is you're giving the wrong messages out there that people who are like, oh yeah, I think to me, what happens is you're giving the wrong messages out there that people who are like, oh yeah, I just, you know, I just wake up and I work out and I drink my green shake and I have this, you know how much dedication and zero balance goes into having that six pack and that hard body, you know, how much balance, how much lack of balance goes into that, that means very little

are you socializing by going out for meals. That means your social life is down the tubes basically. And if you do go out for dinner, you're bringing your own food in a container. That's what you're doing, because you're not gonna let the restaurant cook because of all the added calories and fats and all the other shit.

So lack of balance in the fitness business when you wanna look a certain way is vital. So that's the other shit. So lack of balance in the fitness business, when you wanna look a certain way is vital. So that's the first thing. You gotta make everything in life, those choices, right? You gotta make a choice and choose what's important to you and what you're willing to give up for whatever that goal is. That is the reality of things.

If you wanna have a six pack and you are, you don't, there's gonna be things that you want to have a six pack and you are, you don't, there's going to be things that you have to, you got to give up to get that done. And, you know, if you want to, how about like run 100 miles, you want to run it or marathon, forget about an ultra marathon. If you want to run a marathon, how many hours you have to train for that? Like nothing comes easy or without a price. Nothing does. There's no such thing as balance. That's my point. If you want to start a company,

if you want to train for something, if you want to be really good, if you want to be excellent, like really excellent in something, there requires things that you have to give up in your life to maintain it, or to even get to that point. Nothing happens by just like doing a little bit

and yeah, you can get better at something, you can progress 100%. But if you really wanna be exceptional, you're basically, you're diving in full force on something with zero balance. Initially, at the beginning of the podcast, I was just talking about it in balance. Now we're talking about if you really want to go hardcore

and be amazing and extraordinary, there's zero balance at a cost that is very high, which means usually no social life, no personal life, no friends, loneliness. And that's okay for some people, which by the way, I'm not saying it, none of it's okay. I'm saying all of it's okay, but just know it's okay for some people. Which by the way, I'm not saying it none of it's okay. I'm saying all of it's okay, but just know it's a choice you make. And not to be somebody who has to fall prey into what people tell you what you should

do to have a happy life of balance because it's baloney. Blazing deals, boundless options. It's Hot Grill Summer at Whole Foods Market from June 14th through July 4th. Fire up the grill with quality cuts at the best prices. We're talking animal welfare certified meat. Check out the sales on Bone-In-Rib-I beef kabobs and New York strip steak. Round out your barbecue with plant-based proteins, slice cheese, soft buns, and all the condiments. Plus, sales on fresh strawberries, peaches, and more.

Don't forget to pie, either. Get grilling at Whole Foods Market Terms Apply. So you're winding down with the podcast. Sounds like you have no plans to leave the couch tonight. Nope, you just want to unzip your jeans, slip on a pair of fuzzy slippers, and rip open a bag of skinny pop popcorn. Because the only place you're going tonight is the bottom of this bag of popcorn Yeah, we're falling prey to then you having all of these negative self like talks in your head where you're thinking well I work out just as much as this person says they do I have the balance they say that they have but yeah I don't have that fizzy because a lot of of times, you know, they're posting about, oh, balance is important, I eat carbs too,

but really they don't. If they have a six pack, if they're doing this, they're sacrificing a lot more than they're opening up about. By the way, I think there's something to be said for also where someone's baseline is, right? Some body types, right? Sometimes body types, they can eat different foods

and they react differently. They digest it differently, their body responds differently. They digest it differently. They're body responds differently There's so much that goes on It's so much science that you know on things like that That really is a whole other podcast That is a whole other if you guys want to hear more about that I'm more than happy to share it just guess what leave me a comment so I know I'll talk all about that because that's a big one And if you guys ever have any questions or topic suggestions that you'd like to hear John talk about on the show,

please drop it in the Facebook group. Thank you, which you can join. And we are now at 100 and something members. Woo! Wow, we're crushing it. Yes, we are cooking with gas as Jen likes to say. Cooking with fire, I say too. I'm sorry, cooking with fire.

Thanks guys, have a great day, leave a comment. That's my big thing. That's what I push. Oh, and if you guys have not checked out my book Bigger Better Bolder, please do. I think that, you know, it's very valuable if you're trying to get to a place more bold, being more bold, asking for what you want, chasing the life you get.

There's a lot of great ways that's tactile and practical that can help you get there with a workbook, so check it out. This episode is brought to you by the YAP Media Podcast Network. I'm Holla Taha, CEO of the award-winning Digital Media Empire YAP Media, and host of YAP Young & Profiting Podcast,

a number one entrepreneurship and self-improvement podcast where you can listen, learn, and profit. On Young & Profiting Podcast, I interview the brightest minds in the world and I turn their wisdom into actionable advice that you can use in your daily life. Each week, we dive into a new topic like the Art of Side Hustles, how to level up your influence and persuasion and goal setting. I interview A-List guests on Young & Profiting. I've got the best guests.

Like the world's number one negotiation expert, Chris Voss, Shark, Damon John, serial entrepreneur, Alex and Laila Hermosi, and even movie stars like Matthew McConaughey. There's absolutely no fluff on my podcast, and that's on purpose. Every episode is jam packed with advice that's gonna push your life forward. I do my research, I get straight to the point, and I take things really seriously. Which is why I'm known as the podcast princess, and how I became one of the top podcasters in the world in less than five years. Young and profiting podcast is for all ages. Don't let the name fool you. It's an advanced show. As long as you want to learn and level up, you will be forever young.

So join podcast royalty and subscribe to Young and Profiting Podcast. Or, yeah, like it's often called by my app fam. On Apple Spotify, CastBox, or wherever you listen to your podcasts.