Habits and Hustle - Episode 229: David Nurse: How to Identify Your Action Archetypes
Episode Date: April 4, 2023What we discuss: 00:34: About David 03:06: What is an action archetype? 05:11: Can we fit into more than one archetype? 07:43: How can you overcome fear? 09:11: How can being a comedian help you over...come fear? 10:41: What is the burn archetype? 12:14: What happens if you don’t become aware of your past burns? 13:56: What do your pressure points say about your emotions? 16:18: What is the inopportune archetype? 18:19: How can you get over this inopportune feeling? 20:44: What is self-efficacy? 26:22: How did David become a coach? 29:05: What does it take to be an NBA coach? 39:32: What role does ego play in people giving you a chance? 42:12: Which players did David work with? 45:38: How much do coaches in the NBA make? 48:36: Did David’s uncle help him get involved with the Raptors? 51:50: What is the perfectionist archetype? 53:45: How can you get over perfectionism? 01:03:10: Where can you learn more about David? Key Takeaways: When we fail to take action, it’s usually due to some type of fear that is holding us back. David Nurse explains how we classify these types of fears by something he calls “action archetypes”. Some of us fall into the perfectionist archetype, where we don’t take action unless we feel everything is perfect. Other people fall into the inopportune archetype, where we feel like we can’t take action because it’s not the right time and/or right conditions. Whichever archetype you fall into, it’s crucial to become aware of it so you can get yourself out of it and start taking action. To overcome fear, you need to look at yourself from a different point of view other than the one where you have access to your internal thoughts. David’s advice is to look at yourself as a comedy show. What he means here is to take a step back when you’re experiencing fear to observe yourself. Go from being the actor in the comedy show to being the viewer. When you do this, don’t be afraid to laugh at yourself. This will help you put in perspective how your fears may be irrational and that you’re capable of getting through them. It’s great to have confidence in yourself and a high level of self-esteem, but it’s not enough to have one or the other. What you need is to have both of these traits and then combine them with action. It’s through having high levels of confidence, and self-esteem, and taking action that you develop self-efficacy. Thank you to our sponsors: This episode is sponsored by Hostinger. Visit Hostinger.com/HABITS and use promo code HABITS for an extra 10% off. This episode is sponsored by Everyplate. Visit everyplate.com/podcast and use code HUSTLE149 and get a special price of $1.49 per meal to get started This episode is sponsored by LMNT. Visit drinklmnt.com/habitsandhustle and get a free sample pack with any order. This episode is sponsored by Organifi. Visit organifi.com/hustle and use the code HUSTLE to save 20% on your order To learn more about David: Website: https://www.davidnurse.com/ Book: Do It: The Life-Changing Power of Taking Action Instagram: @davidnursenba My links: Website: https://www.jennifercohen.com/ Instagram: @therealjencohen Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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I guys, it's Tony Robbins,
you're listening to Habitson Hustle,
fresh it.
Okay, so today's a fun podcast because I have my friend on today.
Someone who I've been friends with for actually many years, but never met in person,
seems David Nurse, and David is quite a guy.
He used to be an MBA coach, right?
Yes.
Okay, turned author of multiple books, and he's basically a performance coach, a mindset,
expert, and his newest book is called Do It. I love the name. The life-changing power
of taking action and you know what I love having, I love the title is because all I ever
am around about is like action, action, taking action. And then you wrote an entire book
about taking action. Just for you. You gave me that idea. You were talking about taking action. And then you wrote an entire book about taking action. Just for you, you gave me that idea.
You were talking about taking action in our last podcast.
I was like, you know what?
I want to write this book so I can come on Jen's podcast.
Specifically for me.
And here we are.
Exactly.
Well, it worked because here you are, right?
And I'm so happy to have you here.
So legit, because this made us get actually
introduced in person for the first time in God knows
all the years I've known you.
So let's start from the beginning.
Now this is now what, your second, third book.
Third book, yeah.
Your first book was called.
Pivot and go.
Second book.
Breakthrough.
And this one now.
Is now do it.
How, okay, how do you have all these ideas?
They're all very much about mindset and motivation
and personal development.
But I feel like you just spit out
one nice book after another.
I think you know what,
they're different concepts that I have
in written for different people.
So pivoting go was written for somebody who is stuck.
And I feel like everybody at some point
gets stuck in their lives just so happened
that became the hot term during COVID,
wrote it before COVID,
but anybody who's feeling stuck
could read these little small pivots in perspective
and see things from a different perspective.
Breakthrough is more of a formula that I've used
with NBA players and coaches and CEOs
that I've seen them perform at a high level.
So it's like, okay, what can,
because we all see this with high performers,
like why are they at that high level. So I was like, OK, what can, because we all see this with high performers, like, why are they
at that high level?
But yet, there's really no formulaic expression for it.
So I just did research on what was working,
and I put it into a four quarter breakthrough quadrant.
So that was more towards the high performer
who wants to take it to the next level.
Now, do it is an interesting one.
And this one, I'm really excited about.
I think probably like it's the cheesiest thing
for an author to say, hey, my new book's the best one.
Go get it.
But it's a different concept here.
And it's a different type of writing that I've done.
And I give the 40,000-foot view as atomic habits
meets the enneagram with crazy cool Malcolm Gladwell type
stories of historical figures from the past who changed the world.
So what I mean by that is you're going to get the tools to be able to figure out what your action archetype is.
Now, action archetype is the reason you are holding yourself back from where you are currently today to where you want to go in the future. Everybody has something holding them back.
And maybe it's something bigger than others.
Maybe it's multiple things.
But at different times in our lives,
we are different action archetypes.
And we can go through those.
And I'll give you a few examples,
like fear of other people's opinion,
which I call the alidaxaphobic.
That means fear of other people's opinions.
There's other ones like the blamer,
where somebody's always blaming other people.
We know these type of people.
Maybe it's you listening to the earth right now,
the scarciest.
So you live in a scarcity mindset.
You're just trying to hold on to things.
You're trying to hoard them.
You're trying to not be able to go out and serve
and share with others because you think
you only get one slice of the pie.
There's six others, nine total,
through doing three years of studies, surveys,
crazy research, more than I've ever done,
and then I go into why it's actually happening
neurologically in the brain.
Like why are people really fearing other people's opinions?
There's different things happening in the brain, and then also in the heart, the feelings that hold us back.
So each section has heart science, brain science, and then the coolest thing.
These Malcolm Gladwell type stories. These historical figures, you probably,
like a lot of people haven't heard of these, these people, like one guy's
Lewis Latemy, for example. Incredible guy. I'd never heard of him before,
but he literally is a person behind Thomas Edison
and Alexander Graham Bell
why they did what they did without him.
They're not those people.
It's mind blowing.
But each one of these people had the same struggle
like of these nine different types.
They came to a moment when they could have just taken
the easy route and just, you know,
and kind of just with the motions, like a lot of people will, or take action, take
a risk, take action.
And they all obviously took action and they changed the world through it.
I love that.
That's a great, just, that diet ride that you were just on was perfect because it really
did kind of give you everything that you needed right there.
And so are you saying that we all fall into one of these archetypes, action archetypes?
Could we be a mix?
Could we blend it to?
Total.
Okay.
That's what's really cool about it.
Okay.
So the anyogram you are one type, and that's kind of a personality, self-awareness.
This is something where you might change.
Like, I know for myself, for example,
at one point I feared other people's opinions.
I had this opportunity when I was doing basketball camps
and before I coached you,
I worked with any NBA players.
I got this opportunity from a friend of mine
who was a high school coach.
He had the number one player in the country
and he told me, David, come up and work him out.
And this is like what everybody dreams of
if you're an NBA trainer.
Like you get to work with this guy
who's gonna be an NBA superstar.
Who was it, by the way?
Aaron Gordon, he's still in the NBA.
He's the dunk champion.
People will know about him if you know the NBA.
He was a stud up at Archbishop Midi in San Jose.
So I go up there.
I'm going to work him out.
Work him out how?
Training for a day?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, training, like basketball skills,
like skill development type stuff.
Skill development stuff, okay.
And when you do this, then you're like, okay,
I worked with this player, it really helps on your resume.
I mean, trainers do this all the time.
But I was gonna go in, I was literally about to go in
the gym to work him out, and I got scared.
Like I was afraid of what this 16 year old kid
was going to think of me and think of like,
I'm an imposter here going into this.
Yeah.
So I go home, I make some excuse that I was feeling sick.
By God's grace two weeks later,
the coach, Tim Kennedy,
you never went in?
I didn't go in.
No, because I was living in the,
yeah, wow.
I'd never done it before, so I was scared.
So that was fear of other people's opinions.
Yeah. So, and it of other people's opinions.
So, and there's another one called the underestimator.
I also thought, who am I to work this guy out?
I'm just this small town kid from Iowa.
What like, who am I to go be this potential MBA trainer coach?
And a lot of us will struggle with that.
Like, oh, I was born in this town.
This person has more advantages in me.
Or their parent is this.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no,
that's just lies and excuses you're telling yourself.
So two weeks later, he asked me, again,
hey, do you want it, are you feeling better?
And I did it.
One of my friends kind of pushed me towards it.
My friend comes and films it.
We send this film to some MBA agents.
They like it, they pick it up.
I start training their players.
And before I know it, I'm training
over 150 MBA players over the next 10 years.
Really? Because of that,
because I took action.
But as you saw, I was struggling with fear
of other people's opinions to begin.
So how did you overcome that fear?
You know what?
Like literally, it was because my friend pushed me towards it.
Now, there's tools in the book that I tell you
like you can actually use.
That was just by sheer, like,
force basically. He's like, dude, you're stupid, do it.
Who cares what a 16 year old thinks
and what I think about it, like, who cares what?
But who cares what anybody thinks, honestly, right?
Because we all get so caught up in the,
like other people's opinions, what do they think?
Oh, what a, you know how long somebody actually
thinks about you?
Probably about 10 seconds.
I think that's too long.
I think people actually take the phone
to you for like two seconds.
Two seconds, yeah.
And like that's why a lot of times you're so fearful
of even like doing something
about how we're gonna look stupid or this
and nobody even cares.
They're too busy paying attention to themselves
and thinking about themselves.
Bingo, or thinking about what they're gonna eat
for dinner that night.
100%.
Yeah, exactly.
I tell it in talks, like in a month's stage,
I'm saying, you know what, you know what,
I don't care what any of you think.
Sure, I want you to like me.
It'd be awesome.
I want everybody listening to this podcast,
be like, man, David, super cool dude.
Like, I want to kick it with him.
But ultimately, I could care less
because when I go home, I know I have God
and my smoking hot wife and that's all I need. That's all you need.
Literally.
That's amazing.
So, wait, so give us a couple of the tools that you talk about.
Yes.
To overcome fear if we don't have a friend that you had that literally pushes us, pushes and nudges us
out to train the 16-year-old.
Yes.
Give us a couple of those two tools.
So, here's my favorite one.
It's called Be the Comedian.
So, think about your favorite comedy show.
Mine was the office with a guy named Michael Scott.
I loved it.
One of the best all time.
If you haven't watched it, there's something wrong with you.
Right.
Anyways, he's always getting himself in trouble.
He's a regional manager for Dunder Mifflin, a paper company.
He's always saying something to put his foot in his mouth
and just getting in these situations.
And it's hilarious.
But for him, it's incredible stress and anxiety.
So think about that.
When you're going through some time where other people are judging you or it's a stressful,
anxious time, you're fearing some other person's opinion, take a step back.
So you go from Michael to being the viewer.
And then when you can look at yourself as a comedy show,
you start to laugh. You're like,
that's kind of funny actually, that you're going through it.
Because you're going to get through it.
Either that or you'll die. And then it won't matter.
It's also like to blip in your life.
Like who cares after a minute or two,
you're kind of at the moment.
It's a finite period of time,
and then it's over.
Yeah, but you can actually laugh at yourself,
and there's some really tons of studies on how healthy that is,
and how much overall happiness and contentment you have,
if you are able to just not take yourself, so damn serious.
Yes, that's the problem.
We take ourselves to damn seriously.
Exactly.
So then, okay, of this list, let's go through them.
So the first one I can barely pronounce.
Aledaxaphobic, that's the fear of other people's opinions.
That's the fear of other people's opinions.
Okay, what's the burned?
The burned action archaeotype.
Yes, so the burned.
Archa type, I should say.
So, think about it.
Like, somebody burns you.
Let's take it for dating, for example.
Okay.
A lot of people will say, oh well, I got burnt.
You know, they did me wrong.
They dumped me.
I'm not going to put my heart out there.
Because of somebody from the past did something to you.
You're going to take that past and you're going to put it
on somebody from the future.
Either on yourself to hold yourself back.
Like, I'm not going to take a chance.
Why would I put my heart out there?
I got burnt.
No, that's just an excuse.
The past is literally what happens in the past I would have put my heart out there. I got burnt. No, that's just an excuse.
The past is literally what happens in the past
is going to lead you to what you are going to be in the future.
But people in the burn situation will hold themselves back
from taking action because they feel like they were done wrong.
So it's ultimately the past, somebody in the past,
is you're allowing them to hold back.
And there's this thing called traumatic age regression.
So this is this concept was incredible when I was doing the research on it.
It's when something happens in your past, you freeze in that moment.
Like you literally until you address that situation, that traumatic situation in the past,
you can't mentally get over it.
It's like if you had a bad childhood and you go back to your childhood home, you ultimately
go back into that person you were as a kid.
Until you are able to be aware of it, accept it, address it, you will not be able to move
on.
You stay frozen in that moment.
Really?
Yep. So what happens if you can't go back to that moment
for lots of reasons, right?
Like, what do you do?
Are you just stagnant for your whole life?
Well, most people won't become aware of it,
so it'll always be something that holds them back.
Like, go back to the relationship thing.
If somebody dumps them.
Right, so how do you kind of like,
cleanse yourself of something sometimes
when you don't have that opportunity as my point?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, totally. I I mean you won't ever be able to if you can't become aware that it actually happens
What if you are aware of it?
That's when you have to be able to forgive it like if somebody if somebody burned you and I've
I've literally gone through this at a massive stage in my own life and I was so bitter and I just wanted to get revenge on this person
What happened?
Well, I mean we might have to just keep,
I can't take the whole story here
because it might not work out very well.
But let's just say it was a, it was,
I want to know the, I want to know the tea,
it was spilled the tea or whatever that thing is.
I want to know that stuff.
I want to know the nitty gritty.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And I will tell you off-camera and you'll see why.
But anyways, I forgave this person.
I forgave this person and it released me
from that feeling.
Okay.
So they, if you don't, you don't have to forget.
I'm not saying forget, but if you don't forgive,
they win on you doublefold,
meaning you're constantly thinking about them
and they've already burnt you anyway.
So they're twice winning on you.
But if you forgive them, then you've released it.
You're able to move on past that traumatic experience.
Keep coming back. You got plenty of space.
Oof, not how you would have done that.
You like working with people you can rely on.
Like USAA, who has helped guide the military community for the past 100 years.
USAA, get a quote today.
So the way to get overcome,, if you are the burned arcus, is you have to forgive,
you've got to get over it, you've got to release it.
And is that the, you said there's three different kinds though, the brain, the heart.
Yeah.
What was the other thing?
You said there's, so the brain and the heart science, so what's going neurologically
in a brain and there's a lot of science and studies that are in there. But there's also something called an AMS,
like pressure points.
And I didn't know about this.
I always thought it was like,
what is that?
I don't know if that really makes sense.
And you know, like read the book,
you get more of like where everything is held in the body,
but happiness is held in the chest and anger is held.
I think it's in the shoulders.
So when you're feeling angry,
that's why when you go get a massage,
you're like, oh, your shoulders are really tense,
you're stressed, you have anger.
Like there's something really to that.
It is, this is maybe a side note,
but I just developed frozen shoulder recent.
Have you heard of this?
Yeah, totally.
Have you ever had it?
You don't have it.
No, I haven't had it.
My wife has had it.
See, her say shoulder problems, yeah.
Really?
Does that, so I've had it for like a few weeks.
It's because I'm holding anger in my shoulder
that I have that.
It could.
I know you're not a doctor.
Yeah, yeah, so I know this, like I don't,
like I'm not prescribed to hit the pressure points, but.
We're friends, like I'm gonna have a conversation
in the midst of this podcast.
Yes, so.
Totally could be, I mean, it really could,
like there could be a lot of stress
that you're holding onto or something happened in your life
That's really like building up there for sure or you're just doing a ton of shoulder press exercises
I don't know. Is it like over training?
It could be.
Yeah, you know, maybe something else.
So basically I can't give you any good answer.
You're not diagnosed in much shoulder-based.
The funny thing is with this and I always thought this was a weird thing too when people are like,
Oh, you gotta do grounding and get your feet on the grass and the beach.
And I was like, whatever, I don't really feel anything from that.
But each one of these points, there's also entry in the bottom of the feet for happiness,
for anger, for content.
Yeah, well feet for sure has all those pressure points.
So it's in there.
And there's actually, I was actually like blown away.
I was like, whoa, this grounding thing might actually be real.
It's not this woo-woo thing that I thought it was before.
Yeah, I did too.
I thought it was kind of woo-woo, but there's different.
That's we're talking.
Grounding is different.
I think isn't grounding more when you're like getting yourself,
you're becoming one with the environment or the nature.
Reflex, I think it's called reflexology
when it's all those different pressure points
in your front.
Yeah, there's something with like the grounding
in the electrical, I'll totally butcher that.
So all these people out here like,
David, you stupid, I agree, I agree, I agree.
Yes, you and I, but okay, so basically then,
let's go to another one.
What is the inopportune one?
So inopportune is you either think you're too young or too old. The timing is not right.
And this a lot of people struggle with this. This is like, okay, well, you know, like, I'm just too old
to start a podcast or I'm too old to write a book or you know, my time, it's passed me by.
But then you look at so many examples, like this Nola Oaks was 85
when she got her college graduate degree.
I mean, rich role we know in the podcast world,
what was he like 55 when he started this podcast
or something crazy?
It was actually just on this podcast.
There you go, 50 or 49 or something.
I don't remember, he was older.
But it's that, it's you're telling yourself that lie
or you're too young to do something and you can't
do it.
So what it sounds to me, these action archetypes are basically also just excuses that we give
ourselves more than anything.
Yeah, a lot of it is.
But everything in not taking action is based in fear.
It's some type of fear.
It's some type of BS law you're telling yourself.
Right, it's true.
Yeah.
I mean, this is why, not to say this is the reason why I gravitated or liked this book so
much is because it does remind me similar messaging to my book, right?
Yes.
Which is a bigger, better boulder, which is, you know, usually we're not moving or we're
not, there's no action taking, being taken because of some kind of self-doubt or something we tell ourselves it's the same thing it's like oh we're
not old enough we're not young enough we're not talented enough we're not
smart enough it's just like but you have arranged it in a nice way where people
can I think people really like when they can like they can like present
information that's under it's very easy to understand at pinpoint, right?
And you can understand where you are, who you are,
totally.
People love archetypes all the time.
Oh good, then everybody should buy this book, obviously.
I'm not 100% by the book, by do it.
So in opportune, then, is basically that,
I'm too young, not young enough, blah, blah.
How do you overcome that?
What is your tool to overcome that feeling?
Yeah, so the tool is called a now alarm.
And this is like you're going to take action now.
You literally set an alarm in your phone
that goes off at a certain time every single day
that says now.
And when it says now, you literally have to write down
something that you are going to take action on now that you're doubting yourself on, whether you're the older or the younger, and then you're going to reach out to somebody who is either older or younger and ask them for advice or pour into them.
So it's those two full things. It's literally the main point of it though is that now alarm, like it's going off, you are taking action now,
you're not waiting for a better time,
you're not putting it off, you're not procrastinating.
That's a good one.
And it's funny because like...
I like that one.
...procrastination, it's kind of like this sexy term now
that people would throw, oh yeah, procrastinate on purpose.
Yeah, they'll do better creative work.
No, there's studies and there's a study in there,
a Canadian study of thousands of people,
95% of them reported that they were less happy.
They were more stressed when they procrastinated, 95%.
Well, I was going to say to you, in what world is procrastination sexy?
I don't think it's sexy in anywhere.
There's books written on it lately that have been coming out.
Really?
Yeah, they're like, you can do your best creative work when you procrastinate.
I've never seen that, seriously.
I'll tell you, I'll show you.
That's weird, because I just did a whole podcast
on procrastination.
And it's like, to me, it's like one of the biggest sources
of stress, because it's like something you're not,
if it's always going to be lingering
and it's something you're not doing.
So that's why I would think that I'm trying to book
about this.
I totally agree.
I love the idea of that alarm, because that actually So that's why I would think that I'm trying to talk about this. I totally agree. Yeah.
I love the idea of that alarm because that actually is such an actionable thing where it will stop
you from, that's an actionable thing that people can do to propel them forward.
Yeah, totally.
It goes off.
You have to do something.
Yes.
You literally have to do something.
I mean, you can actually turn the alarm off and you don't have to do it. You can do it
everywhere with that. But you know what's funny that I found too? Like when we're talking
about there's excuses and there's fear that everybody has, there's, so self-esteem obviously
is how you feel about yourself, yourself love. And that's really important. And a lot of
people talk about that and I agree. And then self-confidence is also very important because that is the self-awareness of who you are
in a moment, but it's self-efficacy
that's actually the game changer.
It is self-esteem plus self-confidence
because self-efficacy, tough one to get out,
is acting as the person that you know
and see yourself to be in the future.
100%.
I didn't know that. Yeah, I read about that, but that whole chapter on that. That's, oh, there you go. See, once again, I think, you know and see yourself to be in the future. 100%. I didn't know that.
Yeah, I write a whole chapter on that.
That's out there.
You go see once again, I think, you know what?
I think I might have just stolen every chapter
in your book and put it.
You just like rewrite my book.
Maybe.
Oh, Jerry's out.
I mean, I'm just saying.
But no, self-efficacy is way more important.
It's a feeling of you believing that you can do something is way more important
than any. If you think you can do something, then you can do something. And it really does
propel you to the action. It's so true. Because why people can't is because they're not
able to see the future principal opportunity of you look at a situation happens, okay?
You either look at it one or two ways.
It's the future principal or it's a lost opportunity.
Now, it's, hey, this happened.
Dang, I'm gonna regret that.
Oh, shoot, well, I just got fired for my job,
oh, it's over, or you look at it as a future opportunity of,
oh, I got fired for my job,
but I learned all these skill sets that I can use for this even better job.
So it's the one of two ways, but if people can't see themselves as that future self, then
you have no idea where you are going and you will never get there.
That's 100% true.
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drinkelement.com slash habits and hustle. You also talk about in your book
similar to mine, the self-distancing thing, right?
The alter ego, how that's important too.
Now, in what area were you just referring to that?
Were you just talking about it?
Or are you?
It is a tool, and that's just, like, it is a tool of one of those archetypes, which I cannot
remember which tool it is for right now, but it's a reverse alter ego.
Yeah, the reverse alter ego.
So it is, it's a,, I wanna say it's the blame
or I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think,
maybe not, maybe not.
No, I think you're probably right.
Okay, okay, because you take yourself,
so you reverse the alter ego, so here's how it works.
Like, if I did something in the past
that I am still beholden to, like I was younger
and I'm still in this frame of mind,
I give myself, well, that was little Davy that did that.
That's my reverse alter ego.
Now I'm created, which we know as the alter ego,
as you can have it in a superhero,
or you can have Sasha Fears or something like that,
or Wonder Woman Woman or yes.
Why do you know this?
Why is this my alter ego?
This could be my actual, that's maybe who I am.
That's what I'm saying.
But you become your alter ego.
You could become your alter ego.
Superman and Clark Kent are the same person, right?
True.
There you go.
You look like him a little bit.
Has anyone ever told you that before?
My love languages, words of affirmation.
Yeah, it is.
So thank you very much.
It's a little bit like Clark.
Don't you think so well?
Come on, can we get a movie deal?
The next Superman.
Maybe a little.
Come on, Will.
Give me some props.
Thank you.
A little bit of a smile on his phone.
But a little bit, right?
You bought it like, I wanted to kind of,
we'll go back to some of these other action archetypes.
But why don't we talk a little bit first
about how you became the NBA skills coach,
and give me a little bit of origin story
so people know how you even came to be
someone who's writing these books.
We kind of skipped that part
because we were just like,
you can't remember now.
Yeah, good point.
Yeah.
But like, were you a mind coach,
were you a skill physical skill coach? Like, which one were you a meant were you a mine coach were you a skill physical skill coach like yeah, where which one were you
Were you both at one at different points of your life?
Give me your origin. So here's how it went
Well, I thought I was gonna play in the NBA right I grew up in this small town of I
Well, I got a vertical leap of about two inches
So you know parents probably should have said play tennis or golf. I loved basketball poured every waking hour into it
Really, oh yeah, loved it so but I loved basketball. Port every waking hour into it. Really?
Oh, yeah, loved it.
So, but I could shoot.
I had no athletic gene, but I could, I could, I could shoot.
And that was my only gift.
So I got to play college basketball
and I got to play professionally overseas.
And if we're being completely honest,
it was probably more like the Will Ferrell semi-prote type
of professional overseas.
And we'll fast forward to year three.
I played in Australia, Greece, and Spain.
I'm playing in Northern Spain in the Basque region.
They don't even speak Spanish up there.
Literally probably don't really know what basketball is,
but I'm pouring into a day's film study,
like nutrition, like all of this kind of stuff,
and they're like, where's the party
drinking beers at halftime?
So I get cut from this team
after the first preseason game, Jen.
Yeah.
So think about every hope, goal, and dream you had,
no backup plan, and it's taken away from you,
turned upside down, and your face rubbed in the dirt.
So I come back, but you know what?
It's the greatest blessing.
You know, it's when something like that happens,
when a door shuts, I'll show you why.
So I'm sitting on my, I'm living on my parents
or calling their chair, feeling bad for myself,
and Kansas City, and my mom would always say
these motivational and inspirational quotes
and usually whatever mom in one year out the other year
but she said this one that stuck with me.
I was kicked back in the chair, she was doing dishes,
she said, David, when one door closes,
four open and an entire beachfront patty
overlooking the ocean.
I was like, hold up, my mom thought it was one door,
one door was this four doors beachfront deal here, you got going. But it hit me is that when a door closes it's not
a door shutting on your life. It's an opportunity for four more doors to open for something bigger
and better to come realizing that my gift was not to play in the NBA but it was to coach players
with more god-given abilities. I've had to have anleticism to do so. So I made it my goal right then and there,
I was gonna coach in the NBA.
How old are you at this point?
24.
Okay, and so here you are,
like basically crying in your mom's recliner.
Yeah.
She gave you this whole,
this whole thing about the four doors,
and you're like,
now's my time to become an NBA coach,
which by the way is not exactly an easy thing to do either.
Forget about being an NBA player. Yeah. How does one even become an NBA coach? Like by the way is not exactly an easy thing to do either. Forget about being an MBA player.
Yeah.
How does one even become an MBA coach?
Like what is the question?
Yeah, what is the even process?
Is there an application that I can have an MBA at MBA.com?
Like what do I do?
That's funny.
Yeah, very good question.
Great set.
So I hand wrote a letter to every MBA GM.
I decided I was going to take action on this because you can't just sit around and wait for the phone to ring and like, I'm sure the NBA knows I want to coach. No, that didn't
happen that way. Yeah. Nobody got back to me. I kept checking the mail month and a half later.
Handwritten letters. Handwritten letters. How many and don't exaggerate? 30. 30 NBA teams.
Handwritten letters. Every single one. So who the actual coach? I sent it to whatever address I
could find. It was mostly it was more management, assistant GM, GM, not the coaches.
So I sent it to front office management.
Nothing back for a month and a half.
I get a call from a 310 area code number that's Los Angeles.
It's the GM of the Clippers at the time, Gary Sachs.
We have a quick conversation.
At the end of the day says, if you're ever out in LA, look me up.
We'll grab coffee.
Just be nice. Basically, good luck with the rest of your life kid.
He actually wrote you like actually.
No, no call. Phone call.
Yeah, yeah, so it's quick phone call.
So I took that as an opportunity.
Yeah, it was very nice. He's one of the nicest guys.
I took that as an opportunity. I booked a ticket spent all my money stole some of my parents'
money literally.
It took a ticket to be in L.A. to act like I was going to do a basketball camp the following week.
So I prepared my butt off for this meeting.
I'm studying up for it and I'm nervous.
It's going to be, I can literally still remember walking into his room, sweating through my
butt and up shirt that I had on.
I was so nervous, but we hit it off.
Great meeting.
Every NBA connection I've ever gotten.
Eric Spulster is a very good friend or even the job I got with the nets later down the line
stemmed from Gary Sachs.
I ended up living with him when I moved to LA.
He's in my wedding.
He's one of my best friends to this day.
We talk all the time.
Because I took the chance when I was scared
to take a risk of writing every handwritten letter.
When I had like, what did I have to lose though?
But most people will make some excuse like, no, well, why would they want me, you
know? And it leads to that. So fast forward five years, I was running basketball camps. I
created this because now I had to make myself like the NBA would want me. I couldn't once
again just wait for Gary to say, hey, this guy David, taking.
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Well we hold on, I want to hear how this, how it played out.
You said cut to your, he's in your wedding, you're staying with him.
Before you cut to, how did the relationship evolve from that point?
So here you are, you sweat through your shirt,
you're meeting with this guy in his office.
And then what was the first thing that kind of happened
from that meeting?
So I knew I had to make the NBA want me.
To do what?
Because you're a 24-year-old kid.
To be a shooting coach.
That was my one gift.
So I realized, this is what I can do.
I can teach this.
Because that was the thing you were the best at, right?
Yeah.
I could become the best shooting coach.
So I looked up who is the best shooting coach.
It was Chip England for the San Antonio Spurs.
So I seeked out Chip England.
I would write him emails.
I would call their number.
I never got back to me.
So I go out to the Las Vegas.
I figured out where do all the NBA people hang out?
In any industry, there's always some place
that everybody comes together.
This is Las Vegas summer league,
hot 100 degree weather in July.
So I go out there a year after year
and I'm connected with people.
I love relationships. I would get business cards and stay in touch.
You're very good.
By the way, I will say that David is one of the best
networkers, connectors, and maintainers of relationships.
That's how we met.
You reached out to me.
I did.
Totally.
And, you know, he's very upbeat and happy.
And you did. You reached out to me. And like, in know, he's very upbeat and happy. And you did, you reshowed to me.
And like, in a very like, very like aggressive
but yet sweet, nice way, relentless and tenacious.
And like, not to say I'm anything special,
but what I find interesting is that like,
he like beats you down in a nice way.
And then you become friends with this person.
Where you don't even remember how you became friends with them, which is exactly how you
did it.
That's your secret sauce.
Oh, that's nice.
It's true, because you are unrelenting and you do it in a way, which is I think the next
book is like how you can do that.
Because I think that is to me really the secret sauce of how people go from A to B.
But anyway, that's cool.
That's what I think.
That's a really good book concept.
I know.
See, as since I stole this one,
I know, well, I'm sure.
Now I can still next one.
And now she's going to be writing that.
So don't you dare take it.
I'm not.
I've already got a different way of going.
I'm a kiddie.
But, okay, so now let me ask you something.
So now you're in Gary's office, right?
Have you done any of these summer season Vegas things yet?
Or not? Not when I was in Gary's office.
So after that I did.
But okay, so, okay, so then did he give you that idea
or you figured it out?
No, I just figured like they ought to be somewhere.
And I really wanted to meet this guy, Chip England.
Okay.
So I finally meet him.
I see him walking down the Las Vegas Thomas and Macarena corridor.
Okay.
And I spark up a conversation with,
he obviously knew that I was hitting him up
a zillion times an email.
And he's like, hey, I respect that.
You're really trying to get there.
And he took me under his wing
and he gave me some great advice.
I used for years and years when I was training players.
But the thing that I had to do was also what I was saying,
like make the NBA want me.
Become a great shooting coach. Part of that was that Aaron Gordon working with him. That was also what I was saying, like make the NBA want me. Become a great shooting coach.
Part of that was that Aaron Gordon working with him.
That was all in that process of I was living out of my car for five years doing basketball
camps for anybody that would take me in.
I custom made these terrible leather, like super bad basketballs.
Send them to the Oakland seaport.
I drove 29 hours from Kansas City to Oakland with these long haul truckers all around me.
I'm piling balls into my car.
That's when I spend the next five years living out of the back,
literally living out of my car, sleeping in well lit,
Walmart parking lots.
Did you really?
Oh yeah, multiple times, yeah.
What, for how long?
About five years or not just sleeping.
But most of the time I was crashing on friends' couches.
Okay, but sometimes you're saying seriously,
you're sleeping in night. Oh, it sometimes you're saying seriously, you're sleeping on your night.
Oh, it's probably 10 to 15 nights, I would.
Okay.
Instead of paying $49.99,
because I looked at it as like,
one person at a camp was $40.
Did I really want to spend a night at a hotel
or just sleep in the background?
I didn't care.
I was fine.
Good for you.
Yeah.
And so that's how, and so this whole time,
you were now keeping in touch with Gary Sachs.
And all these other people that I made a relationship with.
Right, okay.
So five years go by, I wake up.
Now you're 29?
I think I was 28 then, so it was 24 to 28.
So then I wake up in Melbourne, Australia, and I get an email that says Brooklyn Net Shooting Coach.
And I didn't know anybody from the net, so I literally thought it was somebody playing a joke.
But I opened it up and that next week I'm in Brooklyn as their shooting coach. Stop it.
Yeah, that's how you ended up there.
That's how you ended there.
Two months after the season started, I came on.
Now, the crazy story is, now here's the other,
the door closing for opening.
So we go from 28th to second and 3.
Shooting percentage.
Probably the worst culture at the time.
Like, I can tell you crazy wild stories about NBA culture
that they're just blow your mind, but anyways.
No, that's what I want.
Hello, that's what I find interesting.
I don't want to hear about all this other
like, I want to hear about that.
So let me tell you the truth about NBA cultures.
And now it's obviously there's really good ones
and that's the ones that are special
and everybody wants to be, everybody says,
yeah, it's all about culture,
but until you actually realize what culture means,
you can't just get there because here's the thing that stands in it's all about culture, but until you actually realize what culture means, you can't just get there.
Because here's the thing that stands in the way
of every culture, whether it's business or sports.
It's a three letter word called ego.
Everybody has it.
It's crazy.
The trainers are holding players out,
so they have impact on the game.
The equipment managers aren't giving the right shoes,
so they have, like, I could not believe, I was working with players because I love it.
That was my passion.
There'd be assistant coaches that would come over to me and MF me telling me not to work
with that player because that's their player.
Are you kidding me?
Aren't we all in the same page to try to win a championship?
But it's very rare that everybody is on the same page.
Most people from the outside looking in there think like, oh, NBA job, that's so great.
And I had a great experience, but I would never go back.
No, kind of, I don't know if you know this.
You know, I used to work for the NBA too.
I didn't know that.
Yeah, so it was my first job.
Oh, I was a great friend of mine.
Now you're just giving me this information.
Well, because it was so irrelevant to anything else
I've ever done.
It was my first job.
And I was in like the sales team of like,
I was like, I was really young.
I was like 19 or 20, and I literally hustled my way into the job.
I was so tenacious with the head of something.
I found some big executive there, and I was like a dog with a bone.
I'm like, I want to work.
I was like, the first year the raptors were playing.
Yes.
And it was like Tom Bitto.
Oh no, what was the name of the person?
I don't remember their own or whatever.
Anyway, I was relentless.
They're like, find this girl's so annoying.
We're gonna give her a job.
It sales and it was me and a bunch of guys.
And I crushed the guys.
That's not my point.
My point is everyone was so different than I expected.
It's me within the culture.
It is very cutthroat, very competitive.
People were very like, very...
Yeah, it's for them.
Yeah, it was different.
They're totally cutthroat.
It's like, they'd walk on eggshells and act like they're your friend,
but you knew deep down like, you they were.
Everyone was like, very two-faced,
but I didn't know if it was just like corporate culture
because I never had a job like that,
or if it was like that culture.
But I hated it.
Anyway, I'm digressing.
So then go on.
So then they,
No, that's such a cool story.
You had a story, okay, this, I have to ask this
because this story blew my mind
and I never heard it before.
And it's probably me being a bad question asker
that I didn't get it out of you.
But you had an Instagram story of how you reached out. It was some actor, big actor that
you really looked up to and somehow they got back to you. You know what I'm talking about?
It was Canary. That's the one. But you have to watch my TED talk. This is that to me is too long
of a story. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. And we'll talk about it later, but yes, and that's like that, my whole TED talk was based on that.
But more.
Yeah, it was amazing.
That was an amazing story.
But you and I are very similar,
and that's why I appreciate so many things about
what you do and how you've done it,
because it's the same, it's the same tactics, I would say,
that I would do it and I've done.
So that's it, but go on.
So then.
It's habits and hustle,
that's what it really is.
It actually really is that.
It's the reason why it's called habits and hustle
is because it's like, it is me personified, right?
It's so good, that's so good,
it makes a ton of sense now.
Makes a ton of sense.
Okay, so go on.
So then you're working there and like you were like,
it was very kind of like competitive and hard
with some of these with the equipment.
Why would the equipment guy give you a hard time though?
Ego, that's it.
But about what?
I don't wanna just stand.
Great, me neither, you know?
But every, so there's two ends of the spectrum.
It's you either have, let's say it's at 0% on the left,
that is Ego all about yourself.
On the right side is full alignment
with God of who you are made to be. Every day you wake up and it's a battle to try to get to the right side.
Society, everything is dragging us down to the ego.
You need to do you, do you, your way, your way.
But that's never the way.
And when it gets infested into teams and the corporations,
psh, ego explodes.
It doesn't matter what role you're in, everybody has it.
So how long has you last?
So to the end of the season, all right,
we go from 28th to second and 3. shooting percentage.
The GM is telling me, we'll give you a three year deal.
I'm getting New York media hype of like this young up
and coming development coach.
So I figured like, I'm in, look at me,
like feeling myself and everything.
And me being young and dumb, like if someone says,
hey, we'll give you a three year contract,
I was like, okay, let's sign now.
But I'm like, all right, cool, I trust you.
I go back home for a couple of weeks, you know,
in the off season, and then I come back
to start the off season development workouts.
New head coach comes in, boom, fired, just like that, ob-mout.
And there's crazy stories with this head coach
that comes full circle, and this guy Kenny Atkinson.
It's a crazy, a couple crazy stories of lessons that I learned there, but I get fired.
So it's the one door closing, four open in a beach from patio overlooking the ocean.
I'm devastated at the time.
I thought I was in the NBA.
That was my goal.
I thought I was in forever and good, you know.
So then I come out to Los Angeles
and I'm working for UCLA, a friend of my coach UCLA,
and then I meet this guy, Casey Wasserman,
and he brings me on to work with all his top NBA players.
I know Casey Wasserman.
Yes, Casey's awesome.
Yes.
So it's Casey, the kid that started Wasserman group, right?
Casey started Wasserman group, yep, yep.
So I started working for his training NBA players.
It's all these amazing talented players.
I ended up meeting my wife and like all this would not have happened.
Had I still been in Brooklyn coaching for the Nets.
So you weren't even there very long in Brooklyn?
Yeah.
No, I was there for 10 months.
That's nothing.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay.
And then you got here.
You did all these other place.
Who is the biggest player that you worked with?
That I worked with like as through a year or that I had on the court training because there's a different like I'll never say a lot of NBA
Trainers will be like whoever steps on the court is my guy. I won't do that. Okay. No, no, no.
Just name me a name that you actually worked with. Yeah, so Jeremy Lin's one of my closest friends. I've worked with him for a long time.
Kyle Corbin on the top shooters in NBA history, Gordon Hayward,
Norm Powell, I've worked with for 10 years.
All shooting.
Kelly Lennick.
Skills.
Skills.
So not just shooting.
It's like dribbling, playmaking, high IQ situation.
So it's how you can become the best on the basketball court.
Okay, wait a minute.
Do you know Drew Hanlon?
One of my very good friends.
I have a crazy story with Drew of knowing him for 15 years
and being jealous of him.
And just like, I really resent a Drew,
because he'd always get better players than me.
Yeah.
And then he's really,
he's like, isn't it one of the best in the business?
Yes, he's amazing.
He's just a great guy.
And then like, I met him and I was like,
this dude's really cool.
I like this guy.
I was like, why was I resenting him?
And then we put our forces together.
Now we've become really good friends.
I'm I'm helping him on some stuff with his book. He's got a podcast out now.
He's awesome. Yeah, he's awesome. He was actually one of my first guests on this podcast.
Super cool. That's so you were so you were doing what he was doing basically. Yeah.
Pretty much the same thing. He would just get all stars. Yeah. I mean, I get up for you all stars.
But he had everybody like Jason Tatum, Joelle and B.
Yeah.
Is he still doing it though?
Still doing it, yeah, still doing it.
He would tell me he would watch hours and hours footage.
Yeah.
Like crazy.
Yeah, so there's a lot to it.
So that's when I realized, it was a summertime of 2018, and I was, or 2019, and I was training,
I had like 28, like superstar, big time, NBA plays,
like all of Wasserman's guys and other guys came in
for pickup runs and I was running the pickup runs,
training them.
And I just realized like, I'm not excited
about doing this anymore.
I literally passed out from exhaustion
one time on court.
I just, like, I did not want to wake up
and go to the gym the next day.
And that would have been my dream job,
but I realized it wasn't about the training
and like the step back jumper
or the dribbling ball move that I loved.
I loved encouraging and seeing players get excited
about something bigger than just the tangibles
of the basketball court, their mind, their confidence.
I was like, ooh, I like this.
And I was gifted at it.
I was able to really reach them and actually give them this true,
like, create these, figure out these tools inside them
to be able to use for a bigger purpose.
It's like, well, basketball players need it.
I'm sure other people could use this too.
So I got a friend, became a friend, John Gordon,
who's done amazing things for me.
And he's a huge author and speaker.
And he showed me how to do it.
And then I have a crazy wild story
of how I actually got my first keynote talk,
which is wild in itself.
But I realized that's what I was passionate about doing.
Wait, so then let's get it back.
Let's circle it back to this Gary guy.
Because I still don't know how he helped you.
So you sound like you went on your own.
And what did he end up doing for you then. So he introduced me to so many NBA people. So Eric Spolster
for the Miami Heat's a very good friend of mine from Gary Sacks. I end up getting the net's job
through Gary Sacks referrals. They were looking for a development guy and it came from Gary.
And then there's just why didn't Gary hire you for the Clippers? Because so Doc Rivers came on.
And when Doc came on, Doc took full autonomy.
So Doc now became the guy who made every single decision.
So Gary was the acting GM, but Doc was like the president,
the coach, the actual GM.
So he no longer had that decision making power.
Got it.
And then how much do you guys get paid as shooting coaches?
Or...
I was getting...
It just, it really varies.
So as a shooting coach, I was getting 10,000 a month.
So not great.
So no matter how many people you train.
No.
So yeah, in the NBA, for the next, no matter how, yeah, it's...
That's your salary.
Yeah.
But it varies.
Like if you're first assistant,
you're probably making between five and eight hundred thousand
If you're second assistant it just scales down
I'm fine first assistant. Yeah, I don't know exactly what it is
But it'll keep scaling down to like if you're sixth or seventh assistant
It's probably like a hundred thousand a hundred and fifty thousand. It's not that much
So when you're doing individuals for the Wasserman group, how are you gonna pay through that?
Is it the Wasserman group? Is are you going to pay through that? Is it the Wasserman group? Are you one retainer for them?
Or, okay, you are.
And how much you get paid on the retainer with that.
Not anywhere close to what I should have made, any paid.
I think, of course.
We all know that.
But like, what it was like.
It was low, it wasn't high, it wasn't high.
Like, give me a range, give me a range.
Because that's what people want to know.
They want to know what I'm going to do.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So they term did, I love the Washer Major,
so let's just put it that way,
but they termed it as a part-time job.
I would say part-time no chance.
It was completely full-time job.
Yeah, of course it was.
It was 6,000 a month.
Okay, and how many hours were you working part-time?
Holy geez, 7 a.m. to sometimes 8 p.m.
Jesus, that ended up, wow.
Because you would be a break,
but then you'd come back in the evenings
and if anybody player wanted to train,
it was, I mean,
Casey Wasserman, what do you do?
I mean, you're really,
you're like, you're like when the richest guys
in the world would you doing?
He didn't really do much with them,
with like, he kind of oversees everything.
It wasn't just-
I know, he wasn't like day to day, I understand.
I love Casey, that's the part.
I'm just kidding, I'm just kidding, Casey.
I'm just kidding, Casey.
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Okay, so then that's what you're doing and then that's how you kind of like transcend it into more of not just basketball, but like people in general. Okay, I get that.
Wait, I have another question because I remember isn't your someone you're involved with at the
raptors, like an uncle or? Yeah, so that's what I was saying with the raptors. He's a head coach
for the raptors now.
Okay, so how did that happen?
How was your uncle?
And is it like a real uncle or like?
It's a real one.
Not just like someone's friend of the family.
He was my mentor, I lived with him,
he was my best friend.
And when did your mom's brother?
My dad's brother, yeah.
And he's a head coach.
Head coach, yep, yep.
So when did that happen?
Did that help you?
Did you not get involved with him?
Like, you know. No, so he was in the so he was just kind of starting in the NBA G league.
So he wasn't anywhere close to the NBA.
So he didn't have, I mean, he had connections,
but it wasn't really like a...
How are you both doing the same?
How did he get that?
His story is wild, and I tell the story is like
an overnight success story.
So people looked at him because he won the NBA championship wild and I tell this story is like a overnight success story so
People looked at him because he won the NBA championship as a head coach for the Toronto Raptors in his first head coaching season in the NBA
So it was like oh lightning strikes in a bottle of lucky you got so lucky no He'd been a head coach for 27 years in countries like England. I went over there to Brighton England where he like nobody
Knows you play basketball on Brighton. He was taping players, anchors, ankles, pop and popcorn
in a half time.
I kid you not.
It was like dark, damp arenas.
But everywhere he went, crazy places,
taking zero money as a head coach.
He believed he was going to be an NBA head coach.
Like, he fully believed in, he lived in that.
Like, we're talking about that self-efficacy.
He lived in that every day.
And eventually it happened,
he'd prepared his ass off for that.
So he was an overnight success in 27 years.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, everybody sees that.
Yeah.
Nobody sees the 27 years before.
Wow, how old is he?
55.
Is he still there?
Yeah, yeah, he won the coach of the year,
a couple of years ago.
I remember.
Yeah, he's awesome.
He's one of the best coaches.
So has he been able to like, now, why don't you go,
can't you be training the raptors now?
Yeah, I mean, probably, I don't ask that.
I don't know.
Because they kind of obvious, like, what do you say?
Hey, nephew of mine, I know this is what you do
for a living normally.
I know you're doing all these things now,
but do you want to?
It's a good point. You've never asked him?
I've never asked him that. I just kind of... It probably sounds weird to most people, but I've seen him
be very successful. I'll just let you do your thing, man. If he wants it, he knows he can ask,
but I don't ever want to push it for him. You've never had the conversation?
I'm actually... That is crazy, right? I've actually never had that conversation.
And I've trained some of his players
just because the players have reached out to me,
but I've never, I've never said anything.
Are you guys close?
We're close.
Okay, I heard how your voice went up.
We're close, meaning I'm not so close with them.
Okay, I have enough said there back to the book
because that's like, we're close means not that close. Okay, let there, back to the book, because that's like, what, we're close?
It means, no, not that close.
Okay, let's go back to the book then,
because now I have all the information that I need about that.
Let's talk more, give me a couple, let's wrap it up.
Let's give me a couple more just archetypes of action people,
and then we can, I'll let you out of here.
Let's go with the perfectionist and the test believer.
How's those two?
Good ones, good ones, good ones.
Okay, the perfectionist is, I mean,
that is someone who literally thinks
they have to have everything spot on
before they can even take the first step.
And there's never going to be anything
that you have together perfectly
before you're able to go.
And it's such a debilitating thing to have.
I just, I don't know, that one drives me nuts
that people can't just see that.
You learn so much along the way.
What's the saying, ready, fire aim?
Ready, fire aim.
Fire, fire aim.
As opposed to ready aim, fire.
Yeah, and so people hold themselves back from,
like, if the only way you learn something
and like, let's say you're starting a business,
is you're going to fail.
There's a stat of the super successful,
super successful multi-billionaire business owners
that started businesses like Henry Ford, Walt Disney,
a ton of these guys.
They went through 7.2 massive roadblocks,
meaning bankruptcies, failures, all these different things.
Like Starbucks, there was a butcher this number,
but it was like 17 Starbucks stores in the first 18 years.
Now there's a Starbucks on every corner
and Starbucks within Starbucks.
I know, that's interesting.
You're in the first 18 years, only.
Are you sure that number is...
It's either 18 or 19 years.
It's something that will blow your mind.
I might have it all by one year,
but it's very, very close on that, yeah. You're right, like now, like, it's something that will blow your mind. I might have it all by one year, but it's very, very close on that.
That's, you're right.
Like, now, like, it's like weird.
Like, you go to a Starbucks, it's literally Starbucks in the Starbucks.
You know how much I hate that when I type in Starbucks, and it says me to Target.
I know, like, I don't want to.
It's 100%.
It's 100%.
Like, right here, you can go to, there's a Starbucks in, like, Ralph's or wherever.
Yeah.
Add a target, and then Starbucks in the target,
and a regular Starbucks.
You don't know what Starbucks is.
Three Starbucks looking on the same pin that you're on.
But the point being is they went through
seven point two massive roadblocks.
They didn't have it together perfectly.
They learned how to continue to improve and improve,
but people don't see that part of it.
Right, and so how do people get over
and how do people get over that hump,
like a tool, give me one.
The tool, I can't actually remember,
this sounds bad as writing the own book.
I can't remember the exact tool I gave for that one.
There's a lot of different ways to get over perfectionism,
and it's one of the biggest ways is just,
oh, I do remember this one, Jen, it came back to me.
It's your failure notes.
So instead of celebrating successes, I do remember this one, Janet, came back to me. It's your failure notes.
So instead of celebrating successes,
because most people will celebrate success, right?
So it's a celebration of your failures.
So you're literally, anytime you fail,
you're writing it down in your journal
and you're celebrating the opposite,
you're celebrating the failures.
And those failures ultimately are going to lead you
to having it the way it's supposed to be, or that you're actually able to bring impact through what
you're doing. So it's a journal of celebration of failures. That's your tool.
That is okay. And then what's, let's do that last one.
The test believer. So the test believer is somebody who will look at the horoscopes or the
iniogram and they'll think, well, since that's what it says about me, that's who I am.
Right? You've seen those people like horoscopes, like, oh, well, Mercury is in retrograde,
so I just, you know, I'm not going to have a good month.
Yes.
Or, you know what the-
That's so funny. Someone just said that to me yesterday. I'm like, come on. Mercury's
in retrograde, like like half the year.
So that's always that you're a full-backed.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So the tool for this one's a hilarious one too.
You'll like this one.
But before we get to that point,
and it is called Go Retrograde, the tool for this one.
Okay.
But the one that really kills me is when people say,
well, I can't go out and meet people.
I'm an introvert.
Yeah.
I'm so- No, no, no, no, no, no, well, I can't go out and meet people. I'm an introvert. Yeah. I'm so good.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
I mean, you might get your energy from being alone,
but that doesn't mean you can't go talk to somebody.
People will put that label on themselves.
I'm introverted.
I'm extroverted.
And that's who they are.
And that's who they live in.
And every decision is based through that.
I think that's a bunch of BS.
Right.
So when you just label yourself
with you basically paint this brush of like,
this is who I am, and therefore I can't step out
because that's gives you an excuse
to stay where you are basically.
Yeah, or the Myers-Briggs, that's the story
of this one of Catherine Briggs,
of how this came to be,
and how she was labeling herself
and finally figured out like,
well, this is actually a bunch of
BS which needs to stop in LA because it's getting out of control and I'm not going to pay taxes anymore
for keeps raining. It's beyond. Yeah well we're the last ones here anyway show. Yeah.
We should close the lights and then because it's like nobody's in LA anymore but anyway go on.
Okay sorry. So basically how do you get over that? So yeah, the Go Retrograde one is just this is more of an awareness tool of it and it shows every single
like
Description of Myers-Briggs. It shows every day description of any a gram
It shows every description of horoscopes and you see all of these things written out there and you're able to pick
Which ones stand out to you,
and it ends up being literally like coming
from all different things, and it's,
you're never just one.
The point of it is showing that you are not just one.
Like, you'll select which ones apply to you,
and it's this whole mishmash, and you're like,
oh, well, I guess I can't be labeled as just
whatever this says.
Right.
So it's supposed to give you that awareness.
Supposed to.
Supposed to.
And we know that you said that you
at the beginning of this podcast,
you said your number one, right?
You were.
The Al is that so phobic.
Now I don't care at all about other things.
That is an advantage.
No, I'm not that.
I see what I be.
I'm not.
There's different situations where I'm some different things. I mean, it's going to sound bad if I say I'm not any there's different situations where I'm some different things.
I mean, it's gonna sound bad if I say
I'm not any of them right now.
I guess I would be more of the, you know what?
I'll give it to like, maybe I'm more of the inopportune
where sometimes I want, and it's not even that
as much as like I want things to happen faster than they do.
And I think, well, am I too young to be that?
I don't know.
I don't know.
How old do you think I am?
I think you're 37?
Oh, it was so close, 36.
Really?
That was a good kiss.
Wow, okay, well, you're so young.
So you should be, maybe you are too young
because there are things that I think,
that's what I think, that's what I think.
I think that I feel like you've done a lot though.
Yeah, I feel I've been doing it for a long time.
Like I've been doing this 12, 13 years.
You're gonna talk to your uncle.
And I know, I think that's what,
maybe that's the one we need to come with.
Maybe it's the blamer, maybe I'm blaming somebody.
No, I don't, I think this is a part.
I'm not a bird.
What would it be like you're not taking your self-doubt
is stopping you so it would be the,
maybe you're not the district at the underestimator.
That could be the one.
I don't know if I'm the underestimator.
I was for a while.
Maybe, well, what if you underestimate
what your uncle will say?
Ooh.
Is that possible?
Could possibly be.
Yeah.
I mean, have you, how how often and I'm really curious.
That's so funny.
I'm gonna go back to your uncle here.
Here we are, like it's like the pink elephant in the room.
Here you are, you know, like you're making all these contacts
within the NBA, you're working for like $4.50
with Casey Wasserman, sorry Casey.
And you're playing out with doing all these things,
writing all these books.
Your uncle is literally what is considered the best coach
in the NBA right now, won the championship with the Raptors.
And yet, you're not hitting him up.
You'll hit everybody else up to help with everything
because that's your nature.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
In a good, nice way.
But the one person who has the chops and the ability
to help you, you're not doing it.
So I'm not really that interested in getting back into the NBA, nor am I of gaining this
massive NBA client per Jew Hanlon as much.
So I don't have that desire.
Does he work with Jew Hanlon?
I don't know.
I don't think so.
I mean, I don't think Jew works directly with any coat.
I don't think so. He knows them. He just works with the players. That I don't know. I don't think so. I mean, I don't think Drew works directly with any coach. I don't think so.
He knows them.
He just works with the players.
Yeah, that's right, man.
So I talked to Nick and we, like, we communicate.
We share ideas.
I watched them win the NBA championship together.
Did you go to the game?
Oh, yeah.
I was there celebrating in the locker room with them.
I was there at the hotel with him to 4 a.m.
It's like, after he was celebrating playing his keyboard,
like he always does. I didn't, after he was celebrating playing his keyboard, like he always does.
I didn't even know what was going on really,
to the monstrosity of what just happened to me in Canada.
So my desire isn't there as much.
And I mean, I don't think it's like,
it's not necessarily like, what am I gonna ask?
Like, hey, bring me on to coach, but I don't wanna coach.
No, no, not bring my, but.
What can I ask?
Give me something good to ask, can I ask? I to coach. No, no, not bring my, but. What can I ask? Give me something good to ask, and I'll ask.
I'm gonna think about it.
I'm gonna think about it.
I'm gonna think about something.
Because now my brain is like ruminating over this.
And I'm gonna get back to you.
I promise you I'm gonna get back to you.
Because there's like a disconnect to me here
that there's like a disconnect.
And I'm gonna figure it out,
and I'm gonna get back to you on it.
This is good.
Yes, because I've heard that a couple times,
I'm like, why don't I understand?
Because I didn't know the chronological order
of your career really.
I knew you were at the Brooklyn Nets,
and then you did this.
And so where is, by the way, to wrap this up
into a nice tiny bow, where is Gary now?
Is he still at the Clippers?
No, so he is one of the Scouts,
one of the head Scouts with a Charlotte Hornets,
but he's still in LA, so he's like the West Coast Scout
kind of scouting manager.
Oh, interesting.
Interesting.
I still see him all the time.
We have Barbecue's.
He's the nicest guy there is.
So you don't want it.
So what's next for you besides writing those?
Good question.
More books are coming.
Whatever Jen writes, I'm gonna take it and steal it.
Now I'm gonna do it.
That's it. I'm gonna do a show. I'm gonna take it and steal it. Now I'm gonna do it. That's it.
I'm gonna do a show.
I'm gonna do a show.
I've got some different show concepts.
Okay.
I've got some different shows.
That's gonna come down.
You're gonna have a show on all the ways you stole my content.
That's it.
Reality show.
I am, Jen, Cohen.
Exactly.
That'll be on Netflix in 2024.
No, so you're gonna write this book.
What else? I mean, after this book, what else is that? Got another book that's coming on. in 2024. No, so you're gonna write this book. What else?
I mean, after this book, what else is that?
Got another book that's coming on.
I've already started working on that.
And then the show concepts, which I'm not going to share
what those are in case somebody steals those before
I actually get those made.
So, but they're in there.
Okay, fair, fair.
What else?
Going to Bora Bora for our wedding anniversary,
me and my wife.
That's nice.
Super excited about that.
I love it going for it.
10 days.
Very nice.
The huts.
Beautiful.
Oh my gosh.
OK, so have you been, I feel like you've
been to every island?
I've been nowhere, first of all.
If I have not been there, actually.
I wish I was.
I really have.
I want to go though, especially
I'm looking outside to this horrible rain.
Oh my god, it is raining again.
It's raining like every, it's like, it doesn't stop here.
My house is like falling in, it's like a money pit.
The ceiling has literally fallen in.
It's like, I have like, it's flooding on every direction
which is why I need to like wrap this and go check it out.
But it was a pleasure having you in my podcast.
Yeah, this was so much fun.
No, it really was.
I'm happy that we got to do this.
Do we get to hang out in person sometime?
Yeah, we can do it. We take this like friendship to the next level. We can. Hey, let's was. I'm happy that we got to do this. Do we get to hang out in person sometime? Yeah. We can do it.
We take this like friendship to the next level.
We can.
Hey, let's hang.
We can.
Let's kick it.
We can do it.
We can definitely, now that I've met you in person,
we can definitely hang out again.
Yeah.
This is exciting.
So tell everybody, Mr. David, where they can find you
in your book.
DavidNurse.com.
Obviously here at Jen Cohen's studio right now.
If you're creeping.
Yes.
Yes.
Anywhere books are sold, podcasts, the David Nursho social media.
Pretty easy to be found.
The basics.
The basics.
Yes.
Well, thank you. I think we can wrap.
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
Hope you enjoyed this episode. I'm Heather Monahan, host of Creating Confidence, a part of the YAP Media Network, the number one business and self-improvement podcast network.
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