Habits and Hustle - Episode 26: Ben Newman – Performance Coach, Lighting That Fire Within You, Living Intentionally, 30-Day Challenges

Episode Date: August 27, 2019

Ben Newman is a highly regarded Performance Coach, International Speaker and Best-Selling Author, whose clients include Fortune 500 companies and professional athletes. Ben serves as a Mental Conditio...ning Coach for the Alabama Crimson Tide football team.  In this episode, he shares how dealing with his mother’s passing created a fire within him to grow. His views on intentional living and showing up in any circumstance is something anyone in any position can learn from. He talks about how he went from a successful financial advisor to an international speaker. Ben also tells us the reason why he wakes up at 2:44 am every day. Today’s episode is special for people looking to shift their mindset! Download Ben’s Book For Free Youtube Link To This Episode Ben’s Instagram Ben Newman’s Website ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Did you learn something from tuning in today? Please pay it forward and write us a 5-star review on Apple Podcasts. 📧If you have feedback for the show, please email habitsandhustlepod@gmail.com  📙Get yourself a copy of Jennifer Cohen’s newest book from Habit Nest, Badass Body Goals Journal. ℹ️Habits & Hustle Website 📚Habit Nest Website 📱Follow Jennifer – Instagram – Facebook – Twitter – Jennifer’s Website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:53 I'm so excited to have Ben Newman on the podcast today because he is the real deal. He is a mental performance coach who specializes in business and sports. He does almost every major NFL team. He does actually the biggest college football team, Alabama, team for Alabama football, college football, with Nick Saber. He is the real deal.
Starting point is 00:01:15 He's got a mental toughness camp and he's going to tell us some great practical ways to get mentally tough and to level up your game, excuse upon. So thank you for coming on. I'm so excited to be with you and your energy is contagious and just every time you have a show you get real with people and that's what I like. I don't like any of that sugar-coated stuff. I like the real stuff. Thank you. Thank you. Oh my gosh, that's such a compliment coming from you. I appreciate it. I mean, first of all, this whole podcast and what I'm obsessed with anything about mental performance,
Starting point is 00:01:49 how to kind of level up your game, how to become a better version of yourself. And we were saying off of this podcast, there are so many people out there who say or claim that they could help someone do that. And the reality is, it's actually not true. Most people are not the real deal. And that's why with you, you've been doing this
Starting point is 00:02:12 for 13 years, you've been speaking to the biggest companies, you know, the biggest teams. So I want you to kind of tell us, number one, how you started this business and what makes you such an expert in mental toughness and performance. Well, I appreciate you highlighting everything that everybody wants to hear. But the reality is, I believe the opportunity to sit with you and to be with your listeners is a direct result of the fact I've been through some tough stuff in my life. Right.
Starting point is 00:02:40 And I had to grow up fast and I've had great mentors and coaches who picked me up off that matter life on the days That I didn't want to do it. So I'm an emotional guy. So just be careful with the questions Yes, okay, I like emotion. I'm a cry when you watch extreme home makeover's kind of a guy So I but I had to grow up fast So a lot of my mentors called me an old soul right and at six months old parents were divorced never knew my parents together By five years old my mother had been diagnosed for the rare muscle disease called amyloid doses. So each and every single one of us,
Starting point is 00:03:10 in your muscles, you have amyloids. If you have an excess of amyloids, you have amyloid doses. At the time of her diagnosis, and even still today, there's no cure for the disease. So there were two hospitals in the United States treating the disease. My mom goes to the Boston Medical Center and a woman by the name of Dr. Skinner
Starting point is 00:03:26 looks my mother dead square in her big brown eyes and says you have two to four years to live. And she had two young boys at home. And she tells her you're only the second woman under 40 years old we've ever seen or heard of having this disease. And my mom takes out an old blue meat notebook because how we respond to challenge and adversity,
Starting point is 00:03:43 that's what determines the story we write right everybody wants to hear the companies and the teams I work with they're like I had to go through some stuff right in order to fight through it to learn what it takes to have a conversation with people performing at a high level I get it from my mom my mom takes out this journal and she writes beat the statistics beat the odds live with a disease that is chronic and fatal believe in yourself yourself, combat anything, purpose in life. And my mother's purpose was so significant that even though, literally, we were watching her die before our eyes, 24-hour nursing care in the home, her little TV room was turned into a hospital room. She'd come to the dinner table every single
Starting point is 00:04:19 night without fail to ask my brother and I how our days were at school. So to me, I had to grow up fast and my mother taught me how to fight. And on November 2nd, 1986, she took the pen that she was writing within her journal and she passed it on to my brother and I to be able to continue to share her story, to share her fight. And for me, that's whether I'm with a player or I'm with an executive from a Fortune 500 company, I'm with a young lady who just started a multi-million dollar business Like they're gonna get my heart. They're gonna get my passion. They're gonna get my fire because that's all I know Right and it was instilled in you at such a young age So what happened with you with everything with your mom and did I mean, she passed away
Starting point is 00:04:59 So she passed away in November 2nd 1986 so she lived for how my after they died? She was 38 years old. She lived a little over three and a half years. Wow. That's, that's, that's I'm sorry to hear that. So then I'm like actually teary because that's like, that's a powerful story. And that really was like, she was the one who basically instilled in you what was important
Starting point is 00:05:20 and how to kind of go through life, I guess, right? So my, my, my fight of my life, it's my mom. Like, we have a show called The Burn. And like, my burn every day, and people don't understand, they're like, well, she was so young, do you remember? I'm like, your damn right, I remember. Right.
Starting point is 00:05:38 Like, I remember crystal clear, my mom would go to Boston for treatment, and she would take me with her and plan these amazing family trips. She's dying, she has no strength to do that Right, so it's like that's that's my that's where my burn comes from Because I believe that we all have this burn that lies inside that actually lights your purpose and your why on fire So many people that do what I do they forget that right you can talk about purpose
Starting point is 00:05:59 But if you don't connect to that burn that's gonna cause you to go do something about it and every single day I think about my mom, which causes me to want to be my very best when I'm sitting here with you. I want to be my very best with my kids, with my wife. I just want to be the best I can be every day, but we all have to connect to that burn, which causes you want to go do something in your life every day. So right, and also what I hear you say besides the burn is that to get to that next level of greatness, people need an authentic purpose. Because without that nugget, it's hard. You can't do it, right?
Starting point is 00:06:31 It's not genuine, it's not authentic. And you know, I encourage, like the people who are trying to skip the steps, to skip the habits, to skip the hustle that it takes. We can all have a dream and a vision, everything we want. But if you don't have a willingness to pull that down, put it right in front of your face and consistently connect to the behaviors of your mind, everybody thinks it's just the work, forget the work.
Starting point is 00:06:52 We can't even talk about the work until I understand how your heart beats, how your mind works, and until I connect your heart and your head, forget about the work. And that's the piece that I think people want to skip. They just want to hustle. It's like, no, no, no, you don't get it. Like, there's no easy way to get to where you want to go. Right. You have to consistently show up and do the things mentally and cause, that cause you
Starting point is 00:07:14 to get fired up. Your purpose, how many people do you sit down with and they give you a purpose? And it's like, like, was that read out of a book? Right, right. Right. Right. That for your boss. Right. They saw an Instagram somewhere. It's authentic. It's not authentic. It's not vulnerable. So who's going to connect to that? But how do you teach that? So I guess Mike, I always ask the same question, is that if people don't have an innate
Starting point is 00:07:36 way of connecting to that, right? When you go in to see a team, or you go in to see Microsoft, or all the other people that you work with, How do you teach somebody? How do you teach somebody to find something within them if they cannot find it themselves? So I start by sharing my story. And you know, there's other parts of my story too. I mean, people here would I just shared and they're like,
Starting point is 00:07:56 oh my gosh. Well, my father moves back into the house. My dad had his own set of challenges. So here I am battling and witnessing my father's challenges. Luckily, nine months after having to see some of his challenges, he was able to do what was necessary to raise two boys. And he's been a tremendous example of overcoming those types of challenges in adversity.
Starting point is 00:08:16 So like, I saw it. I mean, I hit rock bottom by eight years also. By the time I share that with somebody, what I hope they gather and what's been a big blessing, because we work on building deep relationships is you have a player or a business professional walk up and say, hey, can I talk to you? And a lot of times it's that one-on-one conversation
Starting point is 00:08:33 where I could say, yeah, what's up? And they may share something with me that there have been other psychiatrists. There have been people, but they haven't done it because maybe those individuals didn't have a story, right? So I open it up, I go for the heart. And what you end up finding when you go for the heart is people are gonna open up and they're gonna wanna share.
Starting point is 00:08:50 And that's what I encourage people to do, because we all have a story. Everybody watching right now, I'm not the only person that has a story. Right, no, I agree. Each and every single one of us has a story. But do you find there's a through line like with all these people who have achieved greatness
Starting point is 00:09:03 or who want to keep on achieving greatness. Is there like one through line you see in everybody? Like does everyone seem to have some kind of adversity in their life at some point that make them want to fight? There's a lot of a lot of it. I've seen that to be like the case myself. A lot of it is adversity. And you know, a lot of times it's an athlete, right? As hard as you train in the gym, recognition you've received in the fitness industry, right? Writing books that you have on fitness, like, so when you think about what you've done, like, if somebody says to you, hey, let's go grow this, let's go do something together. You're like, I know what you're answer, you'd be like, oh, we gotta go figure out exactly
Starting point is 00:09:39 what we're gonna do. What are the reps? Like, what, you're gonna go figure it out. Most people don't wanna do that piece, right? Right. And so people either understand habits, they understand hustle, right? Or they've been through challenge and adversity.
Starting point is 00:09:52 And to me, that's what you typically find are the common denominators of the highest performers. They came from a world of athletics. Or they've been through some significant challenge and adversity that gave them perspective. See, so like even when I was a financial advisor, if you say no to me on the phone, it's like, you better come with some stronger heat than that.
Starting point is 00:10:09 If you think you're gonna break my ass. With what I saw, no means nothing to me. I will pick up the phone and I will call somebody else. I know, so I feel like exactly. So I think that because at some point in my life, or maybe it's obviously your life, there was something that happened where you felt like you have to prove something. So therefore, I would always work harder and harder for my own self validation.
Starting point is 00:10:37 But when you walk in somewhere to a company and you do it, what are the steps? So if someone didn't have a diversity and they were it like a speak like how do you what are the what are the steps so if someone didn't have a Diversity and they were just like with a nice normal life and they kind of you know are kind of trudging along life But they really do want to like increase their performance. What do you do? So we actually have there's six proven mental training tools that we use and I always do a bad job of selling my books in my material If I give them away for free, free. So because this energy is just awesome and I love what you're doing and what you're taking
Starting point is 00:11:08 out to the world. Everybody listening can go get it for free. So I'll make sure that you guys have that link at freeplaybook.net. But literally the six tools we use, the book I wrote on it, I'll make sure that everybody has a link to get it for free. And within that book, it takes people through attaining belief in yourself, which is we got to talk about the truth. Everybody wants to hide from the truth or the authentic, like how did you get to where
Starting point is 00:11:29 you are? If you're not where you want to be, why? Let's have a real kind of why aren't you where you want to be. So we got to connect to that truth piece. You strip it down to the truth. It's all the way down. Yes. So everyone has to start from like the raw place where they are.
Starting point is 00:11:42 If you don't tell me the excuses that you're telling yourself, if you don't tell me the doubts, the fears, the uncertainties, the pain that's holding you back, if we can't strip that away to let that go, how are we gonna be able to talk about the habits that are gonna cause you to get to the next level of your success? We have to start there with the truth of why you are where you are. So these six tools, your following can have my hope they enjoy,
Starting point is 00:12:01 but that's what I think you're doing. You run them down, like just saying. So it's attaining belief in yourself. Okay. It's your IAM statements. It's the power to reframe. It's your prize fighter day coupled with your prize fighter day morning, which I know you're going to want to talk about.
Starting point is 00:12:14 Right. And then it's your legacy statement and then building your environment for greatness. And it's the exact tools that we use with athletes and business professionals. And it's what I take to Microsoft is the exact same tools that I use in sports. Wow. So then, the mental toughness camp that you, tell us, talk a little bit about that.
Starting point is 00:12:34 I'm curious. Yeah, so we've done boot camps. I mean, they started back in St. Louis in 2009 and people would come there. And then I was like, you know, people don't want to come to St. Louis for these things. So we started doing them in Vegas and we would do them in the Dominican, we do them in
Starting point is 00:12:46 the Virgin Islands. And so we do boot camp for people come to us and then sometimes an organizational bring me to them, right? And what would you do in it? And we would literally go through those mental training tools and really help people strip away, those doubts, those uncertainties, those things that hold you back. I mean, it's a deep dive into, hey hey, we're not just gonna have some emotion, like I wanna come and make a difference.
Starting point is 00:13:08 Because if I don't come and make a difference, if I don't leave you with the tools that are gonna cause change, then just bringing me into speed, that's not enough. There has to be long-term growth and sustainability from our work together. Otherwise, I'm not helping you connect to your legacy, and that's what it is for me.
Starting point is 00:13:23 Right. If I'm gonna continue writing my mother's story, I wanna make a difference with you, get you to think differently, show up differently in your life, to do the things that are necessary to go write the story that you want. That's what legacy is.
Starting point is 00:13:34 Right. So it's pretty intense, and a lot of the football programs that I work with, I mean, I'll come in for three straight days. Now, given, I mean, I'm intertwined in between lips and running. No, walk me through. I'm curious. I'm sure other people are curious like what happens in three days?
Starting point is 00:13:48 Like I know that you you say these it sounds all like viable like you you have to strip it away And then you got to find your purpose and you got to reframe but Besides just saying it was a practical How does someone actually do it? So you give me permission to be long-winded? I guess, I am giving permission to be long-winded. I sure am, I'm long-winded, why not? You can be my partner right now.
Starting point is 00:14:14 So for me, we go in and we start. I'll share that story in the emotion. And the goal there is by me sharing my emotion, they're gonna connect to theirs, right? So they start to think like, okay, he's been through some stuff, I've been through some stuff. Okay, right, I got that. And then I'll start to ask him those questions.
Starting point is 00:14:28 So what is your burn, what is your purpose? And we'll have action steps, they're gonna have worksheets, they're literally gonna write it down. So you see them, they're going to work. And the moment you see that pen hit that paper, now we're going to work and we know that we're working towards something. Right.
Starting point is 00:14:41 And then there's all different questions that we asked you, the empowering people to believe that you've already achieved something before it's happened. So I call that an I am statement. So an I am statement is an affirmation. I am and so you'll set a really big goal. And I could give you you could say Ben, who are you? Right. So an I am statements and answer to who are you question. I can answer based upon things I've already achieved or the things I believe I can achieve. So which do you put more significant action behind? Who you already are and what you've already done or what you believe you can achieve? So it's inspiring them to think bigger, right? So now we get percussed. Now we're getting them to think bigger than they ever have.
Starting point is 00:15:16 I could come on here for weeks and give you stories of IM statements that have happened with athletes and business professionals. It's incredible. And then the power to reframe. It's teaching them to be solution-based thinkers. So rather than focusing on the negative focus on the positive. So in psychology, there's what's called expectancy theory, that what you focus on expands. If you focus on negative, you get more negative, you focus on positive, you get more positive, right? Before we came on camera and right now, we are just, I mean, this is intentional, positive energy, right?
Starting point is 00:15:45 Yeah, if we were to take in a negative tone, yeah, we can go to, but who wants to live there? But too many people do. So teaching them be a solution based thing. I'm not telling you to live in La La land and don't have a motion, but we've got to teach you to overcome it and shift back to that perspective.
Starting point is 00:15:59 Like I've done it my life, I think about my mom's story coming to the dinner table that I've easted and like, okay, I'll go do something that's positive. Right, right, right. I've been through worse. And then we help them build out what we call your prize fighter day, which I know with those boxing gloves over there, you'll like that.
Starting point is 00:16:13 So I get that from my mom, right? So my mom was a prize fighter to me. You know, I've worked with UFC champions and I always joke with one of my buddies who was the UFC welterweight champ Tyrone Woodley. Yeah. I always joke with Tyron, I'm like, you had nothing on my mom. I'm like, my mom is so much tougher than you.
Starting point is 00:16:28 So even though prize fighters, this tough analogy, my mom is the one who created the prize fighter day, right? It's the mindset of giving your best every day, winning one day at a time, because I can't control yesterday, nor do I want the successes of yesterday to determine how I show up today. I don't want the pain of yesterday to determine how I show up today. I don't want the pain of yesterday to determine how I show up today, and I can't tell you what's gonna happen tomorrow.
Starting point is 00:16:48 So we help people actually outline what it looks like to win every day with balance, personally, professionally, and in your service to others. I am sick and tired of the speakers and coaches who are out there saying balance doesn't exist. Just work really, really hard and take time off. And typically what you find, that's an excuse because maybe they aren't showing up the way they need to be in their lives. Right. Maybe they aren't working out the way they need to. Maybe they've let their health go. Maybe they're not paying attention to nutrition. So we help people intentionally design what their days look like. Okay. Personally, working out, eating, being present and focus with your family. Right? Because there was a period of time for me.
Starting point is 00:17:25 I'd come home, I'd be in this back when I was a financial advisor. I'd come home, I'm in a suit, I'm maybe on a phone call, I'm typing out a last email. I've got two kids at home, I'm grabbing the mail, I'm going to change 20 minutes later, I'm like, okay, dad's home, like that was unacceptable. And I had a coach, I still have two coaches who helped me, right? Because we never, absolutely, we're never a finished product. And Tyler Woods has a coach, I mean, you coaches who helped me right because we're never absolutely we're never finished product And I was has a coach. I mean, I have to if you really want to grow people at the best You know want to continue being their best so you have somebody who kind of keeps you accountable and gives you new tools
Starting point is 00:17:56 Constantly to evolve right and to also help you see the things that maybe you're not paying attention to yeah I'm coming home. I'm not present and focus with the greatest gift gods ever given to me. My kids. Right. So he was like, no, no, no, you need to stop that. So now, you know, when I come home, the first thing I do, I'm getting in my daughter's face asking her how her day was at school. I'm getting in my son's face.
Starting point is 00:18:14 Ask my house day was at school. I'm getting in my wife's face, ask her, she's like, get out of here right? So I'm more intentional, right? So you change these little things that they mean something to you. So you can't have balance. Right.
Starting point is 00:18:24 And then you break down like people say, oh, I want all these big things in business. Okay, what does it take for you to win? Everybody knows what their wins look like, but most people aren't willing to slow down, break down the game film of their life, figure out what's caused you to make sales, what's caused you to win games,
Starting point is 00:18:39 and just focus on that every day. We can win more by focusing on the habits that drive success rather than allowing our mindset to hold us back. So that's what we do. We help people build those days. This episode is brought to you by Vonage. Is your business ready to integrate live video chats into your app? The Vonage Video API makes it simple for developers to build custom solutions that make sense for your business, from providing faster tech support and better customer service to hosting more productive meetings and classes.
Starting point is 00:19:10 Live video enhances every conversation. Go live on your terms with Vonage. Learn more at Vonage.com. Vitamin water just dropped a new zero sugar flavor called with love. Get the taste of raspberry and dark chocolate for the all warm, all fuzzy, all self-care, zero self doubt you. Grab a with love today. Vitamin water's zero sugar, nourish every you. Vitamin water is a registered trademark of Glasso.
Starting point is 00:19:47 So then if you do, so you keep on saying, though, it's not just habits, we said that when I read some stuff about you, it's not just changing your habits, it's also changing your behavior. And changing the way you think. Right, and changing the way you think. But don't you change the way you think and change your behavior by changing those habits?
Starting point is 00:20:03 Yes. They work together. You can't get one without the other. So I talked, this is one of my favorite things whenever I start a one-on-one coaching engagement with somebody. And a lot of times, it's been a blessing that the individuals I work with are already performing
Starting point is 00:20:16 at a very, very high level. So the person who reaches out sports and business, they're making probably an income that people dream of. They're already at a certain level. They're already at a certain level. They're already at a certain level. And to me, you're coming for a reason, right? We want to get you to that next level.
Starting point is 00:20:30 And I always ask them, say how often do you connect to your purpose? And I'm telling you like, Jen, it's like eight out of nine, nine out of 10 times. They're like, I don't really, I don't know if I have clarity on my purpose. I don't connect to my purpose. And I say, this is actually really good news.
Starting point is 00:20:43 They're like, good news. What are you talking about? I said, do you know how unbelievably talented you are? I said you have gotten to your level of success connecting to no purpose. I say can you imagine what's gonna happen? We get to that fire that lies inside of you. I said we're going to the next level and you start connecting to that purpose and that fire that lies inside of you You haven't even scratched the surface of what you're gonna be able to do and then it lights this new fire And then you help them design a purpose statement and then they scratched the surface of what you're going to be able to do. And then it lights this new fire and then you help them design a purpose statement. And then they build the behavior of now they wake up and they connect to their purpose. Now they want to go help other people achieve success.
Starting point is 00:21:13 So guess what? Without even thinking about your income, your income is going to go up because now you want to impact other people, it's not just about you anymore. And those are the conversations that are fun. Because you have somebody who's already done it. They could easily go, I'm content, I make a great income. No, they want that hunger. They want to get to that next level. And often it starts with this.
Starting point is 00:21:31 It does. But I think also, they want that, like you said, they want the hunger. They have that hunger, they have that drive. And I always go back to, so does that mean someone like you, a performance coach or someone like that? Is it really for people who are already at a certain level of success? Can someone who is at a job they don't love or in a relationship they don't love? Like, how do they use or value?
Starting point is 00:21:57 How do they, how can they use and utilize what you are or someone like you when they're not at that place, even at a level, that place to even level up again. This is, yeah, so I'm gonna give you an answer that you probably wouldn't expect, but it's gonna be super fun, because it'll connect to that person who's hearing that. That makes sense though, right? Oh, 100%.
Starting point is 00:22:15 So fresh out of college, I was a paper broker, just like Steve Carell in the office. And so I was in Chicago, I had chased my college sweetheart. So I was with her from sophomore year of college. So I go out and become a paper, literally selling truckloads of paper around the country. Probably not gonna be my end all be all career, but I made the most of every moment where I was.
Starting point is 00:22:35 And that's what I would, like if you're not in the job that you think is your final job, don't complain about it, not show up, go and make the most of it. And I learned so many skills that I still use today, courage to pick up the telephone. All of these things that I still use, no fear when it comes to reaching out
Starting point is 00:22:52 to that big client for potential business. I have no fear for that, because I built those disciplines as a 22, 23, 24 year old kid in a job. It was not my for end all be all job. Right, right. So number one, you got to show up where you are, right? Because if somebody says, well, I can't hire a coach right now.
Starting point is 00:23:08 Fine, then let's have two easy actions. So show up where you are. And then the other thing was, I was engaged for 13 hours to that college suite hours. 13 hours? 13 hours. Engaged for 13 hours. Wow.
Starting point is 00:23:21 So literally we got engaged one night. The next night we wake up, lim picks us up and and I take her Take her friends and we're going and we're celebrating drop her off at home and our later she calls me She doesn't want to be engaged anymore. So at that moment, right? What did you learn? So I went home and you're like, what do you mean? Like we talked about rings and this we've been together all these years like We talked about this and I look back on it now, because in that moment, right, you're in the job that maybe isn't the future job for you.
Starting point is 00:23:48 You just have your heart broken. I'm thinking to myself, well, I ever date again. And like, sometimes we get so caught up in that moment that you don't realize that's part of your story. Right. Janet, I wouldn't be here with you right now if she would have said yes. Isn't that amazing?
Starting point is 00:24:03 Isn't that amazing? So don't get so caught up in, I'm stuck where I am. Make the most of where you are. Like I learned what I do and what I don't want. I'll now be married 13 years in November. Wow. That's absolutely right. It's very hard.
Starting point is 00:24:18 My wife is a hard charging driven executive and anizer bush in Bev. So we're two type A personalities that are getting after the day. I know that, yes. So it's hard, so we're two type A personalities that are getting after the guys, so it's hard, but we get so caught up in, I'm in the middle of this challenge in adversity. So my job was not the job I was gonna have, the relationship was not the relationship I was supposed to be in,
Starting point is 00:24:35 and here I am thinking 23, 24, you know, 25 years old, like where's my life? Right, right, right. But I had to go through that. Right. To have the opportunity to sit with you today. I had to go through that. Right. To have the opportunity to sit with you. I had to go through all of it. So I would say to everybody, embrace where you are right now, learn as much as you can surround yourself with people who love you and support you no matter
Starting point is 00:24:54 who you're with, no matter who you're working for. Well, I think it's, I think your environment and the people you surround yourself with is extremely important because that's how you, that's how when you move up or whatever in your world, that's basically you are going to be a product of the five people they say who you are closest to around you, right? So that's I think you should be very cognizant of who you put yourself around. Then how did you go from being a financial advisor to now being a performance coach doing all this stuff? That's a very big difference, right? That's day-to-day sales, finance.
Starting point is 00:25:33 So I'll give you the real answer, not to impress the listeners, but to impress upon the point. So in 2000... Press the listener, then a press fee, please. So in 2004, I started in the financial services industry for a Fortune 100 financial firm. I was in St. Louis, born and raised St. Louis kid. And I start there and I got off to a really fast start
Starting point is 00:25:54 and I set some records. So I'd sold more policies than anybody that sold in their first year and all this crazy stuff and was getting recognition nationally from this company. And finally in office was like, we want you to come and speak in Chicago. So I continue to build this. So it's 2006.
Starting point is 00:26:09 I'm a 26 year old kid and they're like, we will pay you 500 bucks in all your expenses to come and tell us what in the world you're doing. I'm like, this is a thing. Like I can get paid 500 bucks plus a trip to Chicago. I'm 26, I was single at the time. I'm like, this is crazy. Like, wow.
Starting point is 00:26:24 And so I go and I fell in love with it. I fell in love not with, hey, here's sales language, you're here some prospecting tools. It was more so like I could get real with people and have a conversation that may cause them to think differently, that may cause them to approach every day differently. And even though I didn't have those tools back then,
Starting point is 00:26:41 that was part of the process of building those tools. And after that, I would be speaking for coffee cups. I remember when literally I would go and you'd have a coffee, and I'm telling my wife I got this dream, I'm gonna be a speaker and a coach, and she's like, honey, coffee cups do not pay the bills. That's right, right? I'd go to C&D AGO and you'd get like a picture book,
Starting point is 00:26:57 and I'd come back and she'd be like, so did you get paid a fee? And they'd be like, no, but they gave me this picture book, and she's like, honey, that picture book is not paying the bills. Right. And so I had to go through all of that in building this business,
Starting point is 00:27:08 but I was a high level financial advisor. I was typically in the top 2% for this company or in the elite clubs and all this. Right, right, right. So I continued on for years and I started to grow both businesses. I had the passion for the speaking. I started coaching guys and gals in 2008
Starting point is 00:27:24 and I wrote a book in 2009. and so then it all just starts taking off You're running two companies at the same time Employees on both sides of the business and then finally I woke up and I said I got to stop trying to control Oh, I'll put in 50% here and 50% here right and it's around 2010 I started waking up more intentionally and every day I would tell myself I got a surrender I'm just gonna surrender to the plan that God has for me, and I just surrendered. And the next thing you know, two years later,
Starting point is 00:27:50 I was speaking, writing, coaching 100% of the time in the rest of history. Wow. It also sounds like you were already gifted as a speaker, and you had the sales background. Like, you were already a good sales guy, and you were, it kind of, it seemed like it kind of, it evolved kind of naturally, like it kind of happened it evolved
Starting point is 00:28:05 kind of naturally because you got that opportunity to speak first and then you fell in love with it and then you started doing it even though you were getting paid for it but you didn't have to because you're making money on the other end right so you were lucky in a way you're very lucky absolutely you know and so you had the opportunity and you had the luck and you did something about it yeah and you did something about it that had the opportunity, and you had the luck. I did something about it. Yeah, and you just said something about it. That's the habits piece.
Starting point is 00:28:28 How many people do you know that you sit down with, that they can touch, they can taste, they can somewhat see the dream. Absolutely. And they do nothing with it. And I hope that's what somebody gathers from you asking me. These awesome questions is like, whatever that dream is, go do something about it. If you're stuck in that job, you don't want, but you can see this little bit of a dream, put a little action behind it every day.
Starting point is 00:28:47 That's absolutely, that's a great point. I think that because people like their dreamers, and then they don't have the confidence that they think they can make it actually a reality. So then they stay at their, whatever they're doing because it's comfortable and it's secure, they don't have a safety net. So you had a safety net.
Starting point is 00:29:03 So what are you safe for people who don't have a safety net, but you're saying to them, take action and try to go after something. But if they don't have that safety net like you did, what's the option? What do they do? Well, so I think you have to figure out how you can apply pressure in the areas that are going to cause you to have your vision come true, right? So I've had people reach out who maybe didn't have that safe. I want to be a speaker, I want to be a coach. They didn have you know the other career that was paying you a significant income where people still think I'm crazy That I walked away from it right and now it's worked out pretty good. It worked out pretty good So you know, it's one of those things I encourage people take your vacation time if you want to be a speaker
Starting point is 00:29:38 Maybe now you may be working more, but you know go and reach out to people and I don't know you have a passion to speak Go have a willingness to speak for free. I can give you a willingness to speak for free. Somebody's going to let you share your story. There's companies who don't have the budget to hire a speaker. And that's going to be your platform. Go test it out. Go grow it.
Starting point is 00:29:55 Take time away from work. To go and do it. Use your vacate. Find a strategic way to go make it happen. Rather than making an excuse why I can't do that right now. I agree with you 100%. I also want to add to that, I also think that people, every single person has something that they're naturally good at.
Starting point is 00:30:10 They have a natural talent for. And you know what that is. You have to have some self-awareness to know. And I think a lot of times what people should do is like have that like come to Jesus moment with them. And if they know they're good at something, they should do what you said and start applying it slowly until they can get make a career out of it because you're never going to be successful at anything
Starting point is 00:30:29 that you don't enjoy doing and that you don't like doing, right? So I think that's really, really important and for you obviously you were a natural at this and the kind of you were able you had the wear with all and you also had the drive to make it and the confidence to make it happen. Well, so I appreciate you saying that. No, I've had great mentors and coaches. I'll tell you a great story because sometimes I think people try to be somebody else rather than being themselves. Everyone has to be themselves. So check out this story. You'll love this story. So my mentor is a guy named John Gordon.
Starting point is 00:31:01 Okay. And you got to have John on the show. He is the extraordinary. John Gordon is amazing. So I mean, he works with Clemson football, right? So National Championship Clemson versus, you know, Alabama one year we get him and then he gets us the next. He works for, also does work with the Rams. He does work with the Dodgers. No, he's actually a speaker and a writer.
Starting point is 00:31:23 And then, so he'll go in and he'll just do speaking and then he'll work with the coaches and things of that nature as well. Behind the scenes, which is a lot of my work as well. But I remember when he and I, so he's been my mentor since 2008. See, I told everybody this is not an overnight story. So we meet in 2008.
Starting point is 00:31:38 2009, he comes to St. Louis. And me and a couple of guys who are also speakers, we fill that 400 people, the Chase Park Plaza Hotel. And I'm all fired up, like it's my first time, my mentors ever gonna have the opportunity to hear me speak like, right? So all of a sudden I get done speaking and I feel like I brought it, right?
Starting point is 00:31:54 I'm so energized and I run up to John, and I'm like, John, like how did I do? How did I do? And he's like, Ben, we gotta talk. And I'm like, what? Like what? And he says, your message is awesome. Your message is on point.
Starting point is 00:32:06 But he's like, brother, you are serious as a heart attack. He's like, you gotta just relax. He's like, it's okay to smile on the stage. It's okay to have fun. It's okay to tell jokes. And it was like, it was the first time, it was just like, just go be you. And now, like, if I'm on camera, you're just getting me. Right, right. Sometimes my energy might be too much for something like, you're just go be you. And now like, if I'm on camera, like you're just getting me. Right, right.
Starting point is 00:32:25 Sometimes my energy might be too much for something, like you're just gonna get me. You're not, I'm not gonna pretend to be somebody else. You're going to get me. And I needed that from my mentor. And I think sometimes people are, you know, they're so tense trying to be something. Just go be you.
Starting point is 00:32:37 And I was so blessed and thankful. And still to this day, he helps me with things like that, right? He keeps me humble, keeps me hungry. Just like my wife, doesn't matter who I be to or where I go. I come home. She's like honey, that guinea pig cage needs to be changed. You got to take the dog out. You got to take that trash out. I want to tell you something to do with, do you know who Jackie Mason is? He's like this like old, you know, I actually do know. Yes. I do know who he is. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:33:02 He makes these funny jokes all the time. Like, he made this joke many, many years ago, and I still think it's hilarious. Where he's like, the big business man, he's like CEO, this company's got a thousand employees and everywhere he walks around, I was like, yes, Mr. this, yes, Mr. that's what whatever you want, Mr.
Starting point is 00:33:17 and it comes home and he opens the door for his dinner and his wife is like, you stupid schmuck, take out the garbage. Dude, it's hilarious. So anyway, that's take out the garbage. Dude, it's hilarious. So anyway, that's for minding me about. Yes, it's a 100% true. And it's just true. Exactly, you have to like, exactly.
Starting point is 00:33:32 Like you have people who also keep you in check and keep you humble and keep you, you know, in that place. That's why I'm in time with them. I'm a real dude, I'm a dad, I'm a friend. I wanna be the best husband I can be. I'm not giving motivational speeches on the table after dinner. Right, right, right, exactly. I'm trying to learn what it be the best husband I can be, I'm not giving motivational speeches on the table after dinner. Right, right, right, exactly.
Starting point is 00:33:46 I'm trying to learn what it's like to be a great dad. So it's for everybody, you just gotta be you, show up and be you in life. And why wouldn't you wanna show up and give your best every day? Absolutely. And then speaking of best, I have a question for you because I'm not exactly a huge college football fan, right?
Starting point is 00:34:01 But this is why I wanna ask you this because I think it applies to people, everybody, like everybody, is that if you're working with the Alabama football team, right? Which is, like I said, probably the best in the world, right? I mean, and Coach Sabin is arguably the greatest coach to ever coach anything. Exactly, this coach Sabin, and the reason why,
Starting point is 00:34:19 and so like if you're working with them, what do you see that they have that makes them, what are they doing every single day differently than everybody else out there that makes them the best over and over and over again? So what is Nick Saban doing or what are the, what are they doing habits daily? Give it to me. I think the way you do one thing is the way you do everything. Right.
Starting point is 00:34:43 That's exactly what I would say. You're stealing all my lines, man. I don't like this. And one of the things that we always talk about is standard over feelings. Don't allow your feelings to dictate how you show up. You got to live to the standard. So just because you want a football game on Saturday. On Sunday, you got to figure out what were the areas of opportunity? What did we miss? What are the areas where maybe we underperform where we need to improve so that next Saturday we can be better. So it's not allowing winning to define your success. It's every day just having this hunger to want to be the best that you can be. And the other thing I'll tell you about Alabama, and I experienced this at North Dakota State
Starting point is 00:35:17 in four years working there with Coach Climmon, who I'm now with at Kansas State, similar type mind sets. They were winning one AA championships up there. So it's been a blessing to see these two powerhouse teams go to work, is that they lived to that standard, but the relationships mean so much. You know, you say like it's a brotherhood of this football team. And I've been in some locker rooms where it's just like, oh yeah, this is a brotherhood and I'm like,
Starting point is 00:35:39 well, I don't see it. It's much a selfish individual. It's only caring about themselves and their statistics. And what you find in those places that are truly extraordinary, performing at the highest level, not that guys don't want to be the best that they can be and win awards and things of that nature, but they are fighting for each other. And it's almost like that one heartbeat mentality. Like if we're going to go to war, everybody's going to work every day and we're all going
Starting point is 00:36:00 to give our best and we will beat with one heart when we go one play at a time on that Saturday. Attention, Croger Shoppers! Did you know there's a world of innovative services and patient care right in store? It's where an award-winning pharmacy and nationally recognized care come together. Connect with one of our licensed pharmacists today at your local Croger and experience the care you and your family deserve. Croger Health, a world of care is in store. Services and availability vary by location, age and other restrictions may apply. For coverage, consult your health insurance company, visit the pharmacy or our site for details. And does it come from him, then, they coat Sabin because it doesn't matter who the team is at
Starting point is 00:36:40 the time, it's always the best of the best. So it has to come, so what my question is, it has to come from the top down. It trickles from the top down. He's the most intentional human being I've ever met. Right, so if he is that way, right? And when you work with him on this, then it comes from the top and it's a standard that you said that people have to live up to
Starting point is 00:37:01 or else they just won't make it, right? Well, yeah, one of my first times at Alabama. So I'm watching practice and I'm standing there right on the sideline and the whistle blows to change drills and coach Sabin who 67 years old is on a dead sprint to the next drill. If you're 67 year old head coach is sprinting in between drills,
Starting point is 00:37:21 what do you think everybody else is doing? Right, right, right. You're not exactly gonna be like walking to the next drill. So he, that, you are 100% correct. And I think there's a lot of leaders who don't necessarily lead by example. Right. He is so intentional.
Starting point is 00:37:36 He leads by example. And it's just extraordinary. His intentionality, his focus, his leadership, and the players see it in how he speaks. They see it in running between drills. They see it in how intentional he leads other coaches. And intentionality is a big thing. And I think, I mean, you talk about habits and hustle.
Starting point is 00:37:54 How do you apply, okay, where you're talking about, maybe somebody listening doesn't like football. Like, how does that apply to me? Well, how intentional are you being in your life? Are you intentional enough to actually hustle? Because a lot of people hustle, but do you really? Yeah, absolutely. Are you being in your life? Are you intentional enough to actually hustle? Right, because a lot of people hustle, but do you really? Yeah, absolutely. Are you efficient with your time?
Starting point is 00:38:09 Are you just saying I get all this stuff done? Because everybody, oh, I don't have enough time. Well, you go fine time. I agree with you. So what I'm getting from this whole podcast so far is to take, you know, to basically, to perform at your peak. You need a few things. You need purpose, first of all, right?
Starting point is 00:38:27 Absolutely. And you need to have an intention. You have to have, you have to be intentional with everything you do, right? And have, and think, think, not who you are, but who you wanna be. And I think that to me is like a really big one, because I think people get stuck with,
Starting point is 00:38:44 well, I'm just that way. You know, that's who I am. But really, like, if you really want to exceed, you know, extra extraordinary levels, you have to think of who you want to be later on. Right. And then work towards that goal. And that's what I've, that's basically the thing. You nailed it.
Starting point is 00:38:59 Those are the three things that I've picked up from this so far. That's it. And, you know, I think, again, be having to change your behavior, you need to change your habits, or your habits become your behavior, become your how you think. What is your daily habits? What is your morning routine?
Starting point is 00:39:14 I'm a big morning routine person, and so I need to know what your morning routine is. So, my, what did you wake up? 244. In the morning. In the morning, you know. 244. 244. 244.
Starting point is 00:39:25 44 is my favorite number. Oh, so 44 has always been my favorite number. So there's always a lot of I don't know. No, no, no, no, not to 45. No, so 44 has always been my favorite number. So like everything has four is in it. So it's just kind of a goofy thing with me. Really? Yeah. So everything has four. So 44 is my favorite. Okay. So there's always a four. So why don't you wake up a four 44 So I used to wake up at 444 and I recognize it wasn't enough time So I know people hear that I would never tell anybody to wake up at 244
Starting point is 00:39:54 Okay, the month of August and this is a month where I am gone for my family a lot five training camp visits between NFL and college Plus corporate speaking events. I'm on the road 20 days Now that's about the most I'm on the road 20 days. Now that's about the most I'll have for a month, typically it's not that much, but training camp months is really, really hard. So because I travel so much, I speak 70 to 80 times a year all over the world.
Starting point is 00:40:17 When I'm home, I have to be intentional with my time. And the reason why my morning routine, why I started waking up so early, is at 6 a.m., you hear this little pitter-patter at my house. And that pitter-patter is my kid's feet. And my routine, I better be done, I better be locked in, and I better be focused because at 6 a.m., that's daddy time.
Starting point is 00:40:34 And when I'm home, I'm making my kids breakfast. Helping with lunches, helping get everything ready. I'm doing right watching shows, getting them dressed, taking them to school every day that I'm home. Because that's important to me. I don't want to say, well, I need to work out and be in shape for these athletes and individuals I work with. So, honey, I'm going to go to the gym. No, that's my kids time.
Starting point is 00:40:56 That's my time to be with my wife. I want to pick up my kids from school. I want to do all those things. So my morning routine, I get up that early so that I can work out. I can send messages. There's a very intentional process that I can do. I want to pick up my kids from school. I want to do all those things. So my morning routine, I get up that early so that I can work out. I can send messages.
Starting point is 00:41:08 There's a very intentional process to how I stay connected to the individuals that we work with. So it's messaging. Everybody's games are on the calendar. So there's things I have to do every single day. Plus I'm putting my head in a book that's very, very important to me in my life.
Starting point is 00:41:21 And so there's this whole process. Plus luck or the Bible. Oh, the Bible. So I thought maybe it's important for you to read it. Well, actually, I read Jesus Calling by Sarah Young, which is a great daily devotional. And that's how I connected the Bible every day. But the 2.44, it was 3.14 for years. Now we're approaching a year at 2.44 because that wasn't reading enough. And so my commitment to my other coach, I work with two coaches, I told Laura, my coach, I said, I need to start reading more.
Starting point is 00:41:47 So I committed to one book a month, waking up 30 minutes earlier, it's an extra 10 hours a month, I've been banging out books like crazy, I've already read 16 books this year, I'll probably end up reading 20 something books and it helps me stay sharp. Absolutely. Because if I'm not reading and I'm like,
Starting point is 00:42:02 oh, I work with this team and I work with this company, I don't have to work on me. No, I have to work harder. Like it makes me hungrier to go chase down what it means to be the best that you can be. And for me, the morning time is where I find that. It's where I'm reading. It's where I'm connecting.
Starting point is 00:42:16 It's where I'm getting organized. I send our team members kind of bullet points. Here's the focus for the day. And then that's always my first call after I drop off the kids at school, 815 to 830. I'm checking in with the team. Are we in alignment with what we're going to do today? We focus on one day at a time. So these aren't just things that we just say. We live these habits and how we serve other people every single day.
Starting point is 00:42:37 But it is it is all driven by the morning routine. Absolutely. And it starts with yourself. Like you said, you have to lead by example. And also the authenticity of it. If you're not doing it yourself, how do you go and tell someone else to do this? You're going to lead by that example. So what time do you go to bed then? Right after dinner.
Starting point is 00:42:54 Like at eight. Like what time do you go to bed? So I go to bed, typically when the kids do like nine or nine thirty, unless one of the athletes we work with is as a game that I might go to bed at 11 or 11 30. I've been blessed with actually not requiring a lot of sleep. You know the studies that say that sleep is so important overall wellness and health.
Starting point is 00:43:16 I do. Five to six hours. I usually can't even sleep past five to six hours. That's about typical what I get. But you're basically waking up in the middle of the night. I am. But do you know how many people bother me at that time? I can, only because they know you're gonna be awake. That's the thing.
Starting point is 00:43:33 And then what about if you're traveling, you travel so much, like on the road, what time are you waking up? I wake up at the same time. Always 244. What if your East Coast, West Coast doesn't matter? So sometimes I'll wake up a little bit later if I if I can or if the schedule you know allows because I'm from that You know getting everything ready for the kids, but typically I'll end up just staying on that schedule because it's easier for me
Starting point is 00:43:54 But what will end up happening is 244 is two hours later or three hours later on the East Coast So like guys and gals that get messages from me every day They might text me like where's my morning message? Why are you messaging me? I'm like, I'm on the west coast, I was asleep. Oh my god, that's so creative. So then, okay, so then, your first thing you do when you wake up is you exercise, you workout.
Starting point is 00:44:12 So typically, it's social media. I'm kind of checking in on stuff that came like from overnight and the reason- That's shocking. Most people say they don't check social media. Well, when I say social media, it's me putting out my message for the day. So what I've found is that's a way to give.
Starting point is 00:44:26 It's a positive action set that I take, so I immediately start my day in a positive way. So I send out my messages to clients, and then I send out the social media. So to me, like, I am connecting to something that's very, very, very positive. So I do my own social media. There's a lot of people that don't. So like, those morning messages, they come from me. Right. So it's what I am thinking about that morning at that time, and I'm putting out something
Starting point is 00:44:47 positive. So, that's what starts the routine. Then, you start the process of waking up, right? Because it is early. So, I read, drink tons and tons of water. You know, it might have a little bit of a snack, get my pre-workout going. And then, typically, by four, usually, anywhere from 3.45 to 4.30 is when I'll start my workout, depending upon what I'm training that day.
Starting point is 00:45:07 If it's weights, if it's hit cardio, if I'm doing laps in the pool, whatever it might be. And so I'll break out my time for my workouts. And then it's getting ready and showering up and making breakfast and getting ready to hear that pitter-patter of the kids' feet. So you work out for how long and a morning usually? Typically, I'll go for 60 to 75 minutes, just depends on what I'm doing that particular day. So you do all your reading and your motivational messaging
Starting point is 00:45:31 before you do work out? Work out. That's what gets my mind right. Right, and then you start the workout and then your kids come. So you don't, how about like most people, they sit here and they're like, oh, I'm a big meditator. I love to meditate.
Starting point is 00:45:43 I love to do this. I love to do this. Personally, I mean, I, I don't meditate because I just, that's not my form of meditation. Yeah. But so mine is, I read what's called my legacy statements. That's part of the reading part. So my legacy statement is one of those tools in the playbook. And that's where I'm connecting to the purpose, the prize fighter day, the vision, the IAM statements. It's all on my phone. Right. And it takes me about a couple minutes to read it. And I just kind of read through and it just kind of speaks clarity into my mind of what I'm going to go fight for that day. So that's how I connect. And so I read that legacy statement every single morning. And then that's before. So to me,
Starting point is 00:46:16 you have to ask yourself the question, if you intentionally connect to your purpose every day, or you're going to read, okay, here are my action steps for the day. Or here's what I'm fighting for. Here's my, if you do that, what's the likelihood you're going to read, okay, here are my action steps for the day, or here's what I'm fighting for, here's my, if you do that, what's the likelihood you're then going to do nothing? Right, absolutely true. Exactly. Right, so, so too many people, they just get up and they go, it's like if you intentionally feed your mind with what you want, you're probably going to be more inclined to go do something about it.
Starting point is 00:46:38 Absolutely, that's why I think the more Neumertina is so important, like I think it makes people much more on point. So when you start, for me, like I mean, if I eat a good breakfast or if I exercise, it keeps me much more conscious of what I'm gonna eat the rest of the day, or that if I'm working out, it gives me more energy, and I don't, you know what I mean? Like it kind of sets your mind right
Starting point is 00:46:57 for the rest of the day. So that's what you're reading. So you're reading all that stuff. And then reading books. So what book are you reading right now? So the book that I'm reading right now is called Champions Mind It's by a sports psychologist doctor Afro
Starting point is 00:47:13 However, the best book I've read this year is hands down can't hurt me by David Gaggins Oh everyone's that book has crushed. It's been like the number one best I was like the number one best, I was like the number one best seller forever. The book is incredible. It is taking my thinking to a whole nother level. Goggins and I actually spoke at Alabama training camp together last year. So we were separate days, but so we were at practice together.
Starting point is 00:47:38 And so I spoke on Friday night, he spoke on Saturday night, and we spent Friday afternoon at practice together. And he is, the guy's just on a whole nother. A whole nother. Exactly. Just even talking to him, it is a whole nother level of human being. And here's what I always share with people because I'll recommend to a client, read, can't
Starting point is 00:47:56 hurt me. And there's some other great books I've read this year, read, can't hurt me. And they'll read and they're like, oh my God, like, he's pull up to me. I'm not going to run an ultra marathon. And I said, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, an ultra marathon. And I said, what, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, I said, I'm not gonna run an ultra marathon either, but I said, how about you use this an example as an example of how you wanna push harder
Starting point is 00:48:11 in some area of your life. So just because somebody reads this book for everybody to listen, it doesn't mean you have to go run a 200 mile race, but like, what area of your life are you ready to challenge yourself right now? And that book has caused me to challenge myself in so many different areas. It's been extraordinary.
Starting point is 00:48:28 Another one, Habits of High Performance by Brendan Birchard, is a great book. That's a good one. Atomic Habits by James Clears, a great book. I love that book. Ed Mylett, Max Out, was awesome. I learned so much about Ed Mylett and- Really? I should write that down.
Starting point is 00:48:40 Yeah, so Ed, just a strong man of faith and strong man of vision, you know, had a tremendous story of being counted the doldrums in terms of business and believing in himself to do what he's done. That was a very short read, but also read. Right. No, that's good to know. Yeah, but those are the things that get me right. I love all those, I love all those habit books also,
Starting point is 00:48:59 but you just said something before you said, oh yeah, this is what I was going to ask you. What, what did the David Goggins book, what did it make you wanna work on more that you did? And, but where are you with that whole? Yeah, so I'll tell you, it's cool. You'll probably like this answer.
Starting point is 00:49:18 So it's now I've instilled 30 day challenges in my life. So in the book, he talks about a 30 day challenge. So I'm reading the book and the first one He says what's something that really scares you that that you just haven't started that you need to do and I have this Client of my name this client of mine. His name is Josh Canaman, Josh and Rochelle Canaman and Josh planks for 20 straight minutes on the days that he lifts Okay, 20 straight minutes. What's he doing in the play? Every time just planks. Isn't he bored? So he listens to podcasts or he listens to music Okay, 20 straight minutes. What is he doing in the play? Every time, just, just, Planks. Isn't he bored?
Starting point is 00:49:45 So he listens to podcasts or he listens to music. So I heard this and every time I go in there, I'm like, bro, like talk about mental toughness. That's like, that is crazy to me. So that planking was one of those things which is like, how could somebody possibly do that? So I'm reading Gaggen's book and I write down Planks. Okay.
Starting point is 00:50:03 And then he's like, all right, you gotta take action on it. Now I already trained so hard in all these other areas. I just, I started making excuses, right? So here I am, the coach, making excuses. And I'm like, well, I got some training so hard. I'm so into my nutrition, I reset that, so I'm doing all this stuff, I'm good. Took me about two weeks to get started.
Starting point is 00:50:19 And finally I said, I'm doing this plank challenge. I'm going to start a plank challenge. And the longest I'd ever plank was five minutes. So I told. I'm going to start a plank challenge. And the longest I'd ever plank was five minutes. So I told myself I'm going to start at four minutes, and then I'm going to add two seconds every single day, and I'm going to get to five minutes after 30 days. So here I am, I charted out, I've got on my phone, I'll kind of track it.
Starting point is 00:50:36 So I get through the fourth day, it's the fifth day, I'm speaking in Sacramento, and there were three of the leaders from the organization that wanted to train with me in the morning. So they wake up, they come meet me in my hotel, we're training, and I'm telling them, I'm doing this plank challenge. I'm at four minutes going up by two seconds and one of the guys looks at me and he's like,
Starting point is 00:50:50 dude, you could plank for five minutes right now. That's not a challenge. And I'm like, what do you talk about? Like, this is my challenge. Like, I'm fired up about this. It took me two weeks just to start the darn thing. And he's like, dude, you could do it right now. And so I accepted that challenge from him.
Starting point is 00:51:04 So number one, I hope what people here is, took me a little while to start, right? So we gotta figure it out, we gotta start. And I still protected myself. I was like, well, five minutes would be great. It's the longest I've ever done. I'll build back up to it, but I was protecting myself. So I started making 15 second jumps every single day.
Starting point is 00:51:20 Some days I would do 30 seconds by the 30th day. I did a 16 minute plank. Now, so I didn't get to the 20 like my client. Okay, but the progress. I went to 16, I did something. Yes. That was, so five minutes is what I thought I was going to do. I shifted the challenge in the fifth day, really took on the challenge, and then I went as long as I possibly could on that last day, and went to 16 minutes. So now what that's done is it's helped me realize that 30 day challenges is where I want to live. Because the 30 day challenge, I can touch it, I can taste it, I can feel it, and I can break
Starting point is 00:51:54 that down to one day at a time. And the day that I win with that challenge, like I know that I'm almost there. And if I keep resetting that, there's all these areas. And we started to implement it into our coaching, our clients are loving it. I'm currently in the middle of doing it. It's called the unrequired challenge. So you do this on top of your regular workouts and she's, Jen's going to be in on this one. Yeah, I might be. So on top of your regular training. Okay, so today was my seventh day. I had to do it at the hotel here in LA along with my treadmill hit training. So it's on top of your regular training. Unless it was an off day, you still have to do it.
Starting point is 00:52:26 So 30 straight days, it's 250 air squats straight, a four minute plank straight, a four minute reverse plank, hands under butt, feet six inches off the ground, straight, followed by 44 push up straight. Four minutes of a reverse plank. Yep, so the plank, I know I do it all the time.
Starting point is 00:52:43 Hands under the butt, yeah. Four minutes of a reverse plank, which people don't plank. I know, I do it all the time. Do it at hands under the butt. Yeah, four minutes of a reverse plank, which people don't realize that reverse plank is actually harder than regular planking. And it's also important that we're going on a whole tangent. But because your body's working well. Well, you wrote bad ass body goals, huh?
Starting point is 00:52:55 I'm preaching to the choir on this one. I know this one, exactly. Now you're talking to my lane. But I think it's really important to do with the reverse of everything you do normally. So if you're walking, I like to walk on the treadmill backwards because you're so used to always walking forward. It's about to balance out everything. It's all about balance, right? So anyway, that's a good, I like that challenge. Would you write? I'm gonna get that.
Starting point is 00:53:17 So I've got to think to it. I can send you, I'll just send you the image. I'm gonna try it. It takes me about 15 minutes. I do it straight. Some people they're doing it, it's 22 minutes. And I've encouraged everybody, if you can't do one of them straight, take little breaks and just build yourself up to the ability to do it. But it's a crusher, especially when you're doing that
Starting point is 00:53:35 on top of your regular workout. So to me, this word, the unrequired, which came from a book that a guy named Kevin Eastman wrote, former assistant coach for the Clippers. So, Kevin Eastman talks about the unrequired, so I love it. The unrequired is what other people can't see. They won't do that you choose to make a priority.
Starting point is 00:53:54 And so, to me, that unrequed, so that, because of Goggins, I know it's all these 30-day challenges. So, it's constantly just pushing to figure out, like, I've got more, I can do more. And I think we just have this natural tendency as humans to just settle and to not push for that next level. And you know what, I'm just gonna keep breaking myself until I feel like you can't get any more
Starting point is 00:54:19 and I just keep finding more and finding more. It's why I hired another coach. And so it's one of those things, just like the push in the challenge, I just thrive on that every day to figure out what we're really made of. And what's ended up happening was these 30-day challenge, I'm more focused.
Starting point is 00:54:34 I feel like I'm a better husband right now. I'm a better father right now. I'm actually more focused on all these areas by reading what, doing all this, I'm doing more than I ever have. And I feel like I'm more focused, more have, and I feel like a more focused, more productive, and my energy is through the roof. That's amazing.
Starting point is 00:54:48 I also like those 30-day challenges, because when people say, well, where do I start? How do I start? In anything in life, if you give a finite period of time, like 30 days, you can convince yourself to do anything just for 30 days. And once you make make that happen
Starting point is 00:55:05 Typically a lot of times once you it becomes like in grades in you That's when the habit becomes a habit right they say like three or four weeks So then most likely you'll continue or most likely like it will it can jump start you or some portion of that will continue That's a thing. It can just start whatever it is and you know what you're doing there. You're building confidence Yes, and most people they don't realize like the reason why you're doing there? You're building confidence. Yes. And most people, they don't realize, like, the reason why you're telling me no, or you don't want to start, is because there's a fear, there's a doubt, there's some confidence that's been lost.
Starting point is 00:55:34 So you know what? Do the challenge for that. I don't care if you hear that and go, that is the craziest darn. This dude is off as rocker, that is crazy to do something like that. Then you know what? Start with 10 push-ups in a row. Start with a 30 second plank. Start with a 30-second plank. Start with a 30-second.
Starting point is 00:55:47 Go find your version of it and build your confidence like you're saying. It's so much better to do that than to choose to do nothing because that does not feed your confidence. I couldn't agree with you more. And I'm going to add one more thing and then I'm going to wrap this up
Starting point is 00:56:02 because I know it's been forever. Is that even though you're doing that particular challenge that is a physical challenge, what you get out of it is not just physical. It builds everything else. It builds your confidence, it builds your health, with your mental, your mindset, your self-esteem, all the stuff that you get from outside the physical.
Starting point is 00:56:21 The physical just helps the mental. That's what I always say. The physical is the easy part. That's why balance is important. That's why all these coaches who preach, oh, just work really hard and take time off. You're missing the boat. I don't believe somebody can show up and be their best if they're not eating right, doing some form of getting your body moving. You don't have to train like we train, but like doing something. But to just say I'm not gonna do that because I'm busy working, you're not going to perform at your highest
Starting point is 00:56:48 level because you're not going to feel good about yourself. Absolutely. And also all the studies that show that your cognitive abilities when you actually work out and exercise is exponentially higher and better when you work out. I think we can have a whole other podcast based on this. This is a whole other area. But because I don't know how long it's been forever, but I would say wrap it up because I'm gonna get in trouble. But thank you so much for coming on. Thanks for having me. Tell people where they can find you
Starting point is 00:57:15 and everything else. So go ahead. So stay connected at Continued Fight. That's all of our social media. So with what I've been through in my life with my mom, I believe life is a fight. So just continue that fight. Keep writing your story, but it's at continued fight. And I look forward to hearing from everybody. Maybe somebody's going to DM me with what their 30-day challenges,
Starting point is 00:57:32 but I want to leave everybody with a, because you know, people always say, well, tell them how to find you. Like, we'll stay connected if you want to stay connected, right? I want to leave you with a quote, and the quotes from my mom. And it's the greatest life lesson I've ever learned. And that lesson is it's not how long you live, it's how you choose to live your life. So habits and hustle can be for everybody if you choose it. So I would say to everybody, if you were listening, some 30 day challenge, find some area of your life,
Starting point is 00:57:56 even if it's being more present and focused with your kids, maybe it's in nutrition, maybe it's working out, maybe it's something you pull from being more focused at work, start to make some different choices in how you show up every day, and I promise you your life's working out. Maybe it's something you pull from being more focused at work. Start to make some different choices and how you show up every day and I promise you your life's gonna change. That's a great way to end it.
Starting point is 00:58:10 Thank you. That's a great way to end it. Bye, thank you very much for listening and see you next time. This episode is brought to you by the YAP Media Podcast Network. I'm Holla Taha, CEO of the award-winning digital media empire YAP Media, and host of YAP Young & Profiting Podcast, a number one entrepreneurship and self-improvement podcast where you can listen, learn, and profit. On Young & Profiting Podcast, I interview the brightest minds in the world, and I turn their wisdom into actionable advice that you can use in your daily life. Each week, we dive into a new topic like the Art of Side Hustles, how to level up your influence and persuasion and goal setting.
Starting point is 00:59:01 I interview A-List guests on Young & Profiting. I've got the best guests. Like the world's number one negotiation expert, Chris Voss, Shark, Damon John, serial entrepreneurs, Alex and Lila Hermosi, and even movie stars, like Matthew McConaughey. There's absolutely no fluff on my podcast, and that's on purpose. Every episode is jam-packed with advice that's gonna push your life forward. I do my research, I get straight to the point, and I take things really seriously, which is why I'm known as the podcast princess, and how I became one of the top podcasters in the world in less than five years. Young and profiting podcast is for all ages.
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