Habits and Hustle - Episode 296: My top 3 Strategies for Being a Better Communicator

Episode Date: November 24, 2023

How many times in your life have things gone sideways simply because the communication wasn’t there? This is extremely common but extremely simple to avoid!  That’s why in this episode of Habits & Hustle podcast, I’m going to share my top three strategies for being a better communicator – diving into how to communicate properly and effectively. These are very simple and do not require much effort aside from implementation and practice – but when you do, you will up-level how you communicate and connect with the people around you.  What I discuss:  (0:00:01) - The importance of active listening in effective communication (0:04:20) - Using clear and concise language in communication (0:07:00) - Understanding and reading the tone of voice and the audience your communicating with (0:08:00) - The importance of body language in communication Find more from me:  Website: https://www.jennifercohen.com/ Instagram: @therealjencohen  Books: https://www.jennifercohen.com/books Speaking: https://www.jennifercohen.com/speaking-engagement Thank you to our sponsors:  Pendulum: Head over to www.pendulum.com and use code JENCOHEN for 20% off. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I got his Tony Robbins you're listening to Habits and Hustle, crash it. Hello everybody, welcome to Habits and Hustle. I'm here yet again one more time with my foil Shawnee. Hello. Hello, we don't have a camera because we don't have one camera so that's why she's off camera. But we are going to do an episode today on the top three strategies for being a better communicator. I think this is a really important one because a lot of times, and I know I've done this a bunch,

I have been, a lot of things have kind of went sideways because I didn't communicate well or properly and I could have been way more effective. And over time, I've realized with the tons of experts I speak to and just research and trial and error, what's really been really powerful in how I've leveled up my communication skills. And so I wanted to share that talk about that. And they're very easy. These are not things that require much of anything except implementation and practice. But I think some of these things really up level how you not just communicate, but how you end up actually connecting with people.

And the first thing is being an active listener. I think listening and the quality of how you listen is so fundamentally important. Because how many times have you spoken to people and they're not paying attention to you, they're looking over your shoulder or they're just waiting for you to finish speaking so that they can end up talking? These are like massive turn-offs and no-nose. I think when you're trying to have a really effective dialogue with somebody and connect with somebody in a real way, you have to be paying attention.

And that requires to be listening actively, which means letting people finish when they speak, not interrupting, and maybe even saying, back, some of the things that they said with a question. So you think that's important? Yeah, how do you actively listen when you have your mind racing? Do you have tricks for that? Because that is the hardest thing for me? Well, I think part of being an active listener is not thinking what's your next thing you're going to say with the next question. I think this is where it becomes difficult for some people. I think a lot of people get anxious about wanting to seem like they're listening.

But yet they're thinking they're nervous about the communication. So they're just thinking about the next thing that they can say versus listening to what the other person said and then responding in a way that shows that you actually paid attention to what that other person said and making a retort or comment based on that. For example, right? I see a lot of podcasters do this, which is like, sorry, I was just thinking podcasters.

Did it? So did it. Thinking that. It's so annoying. Because like, if I'm say, let's say for example, like, your guest is talking about how they love to swim and they are avid people of the beach. And your next question is about, I don't know, about something completely different, like about their work life,

their work life for work schedule or their employees. And you're just waiting for them to finish and then you just end up saying, great. Now, or like, when you're with your employees at work as opposed to being like really, like, what temperature do you like to swim in? Do you find that you like to go in the morning? Do you go when it's cloudy outside? Like, extending the conversation to what they were talking about,

that is like that actually is fluid versus like going all the way on the next area because it doesn't fit the questions that you had, you know, in place. To me, that's what active listening is. When you are paying attention enough to be able to continue a conversation with the flow of what's happening, versus just taking something out of left field because it was what you had written down.

But what were you gonna say? Actually, something kind of similar, but the pressure that I think some host feel to never have a dead space. So they don't usually, so they will try and look at their script or look at the next question to feel it really fast as opposed to listening to what they're saying. And then you end up missing a really good follow-up opportunity like you're saying. It's all about the follow-up. I mean, like, a lot of times what I end up doing is I have a bunch of questions written down.

And more often than not, I am not even looking at my question because it's completely derailed from what the conversation was that they started. So I have to just go on what they're talking about and then listen actively enough. So then I follow up with something that's appropriate versus inappropriate. That's the first one. And then the other one I want to talk about is making sure you're using very clear

and concise language when you speak with somebody. And I think I like directness. So people know what you're talking about. They know what you're saying. And there's meaning behind it. I really believe that when people are too airy, fairy, and flowery, and not, they beat around the bush too much. Nothing ever, like there's no real, it's hard to communicate in that way. So being super concise and deliberate with what your words are,

what your message that you're trying to get across is. Does that make sense? Yeah, you need to have clarity. A lot of comments I'm seeing online are kind of confusing. I've been helping a lot of people write their content. They've been posting on Instagram. So they'll send it to me for fact checking and also just to set them clarity.

So just yesterday, actually, somebody sent me something to format for them. And I had them rewrite the last sentence because it was just confusing. And it didn't really make sense. I knew what they were trying to say, but that wasn't how it came across. And so they sent me back a much better version. And I think that's really important, especially if you're communicating online or via text or word, but even if you're communicating by mouth,

just in conversation, you don't need to be redundant and you do need to be clear and concise and try and figure out a way that even the layman will understand so someone who's not fully enthralled in this issue will understand. So I think it's being, and we're both saying the same thing, not to be redundant. Not to be redundant.

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Plus, you guys can take 20% off your first month of any Pendulum Product membership with this code, Jen Cohen. So go now to PendulumLife.com and use my code at checkout. Trust me, you will feel incredible. And the other piece I want to add to that is listening to the tone of voice you're using and who your audience is. Because how you speak to one audience is very different than how you speak to another audience.

Just how I talk to my tender old boy is very different than how I talk to you, Shawnee, right? Or to a business associate. So being like read the room and know who you're speaking to and then match it accordingly. And then the other one that I think is really, really important. And I think this actually supersedes maybe even the other ones is body language. Because people can read a lot into how your body is, like your language, how you're speaking,

like how you present yourself. It can make a break that what do you call it, the experience, I guess would be a great way, like the gestures you're making, the nonverbal cues that you give people, like nonverbal cues, I think, especially with me, I'm a big nonverbal cue person, like I'm always watching to see how somebody

is responding and reacting to how I'm with them and that I act accordingly, right? Like if people are, are like interested in talking to me or uncomfortable, if I'm making them uncomfortable, like all of these things are super important to impact the your communication level. Sorry. Do you ever do the mimicking thing where you mimic somebody else's body language? Cause I subconsciously do that all the time.

And I notice when I do it all the time, like I just, I really has been something that ever since I think middle school I heard about this, like mimic the body language, they'll feel great. And I've not stopped doing it since then, like really just as a part of my conversation style now, and I can't help it. It just, it just happens, but I do think it helps. Maybe I don't know. Maybe I do that subconsciously, like you said, like you do. I think also saying somebody's name while you're speaking to them makes people feel super, super engaged and comfortable.

And you know, like I think people love to hear their names. Even if they don't think they do, I think it's a psychological thing. And you feel naturally more comfortable and closer to somebody, but they say your name. Like, there's been times I have guests on here and they'll say, you know, yeah, like Jennifer, when I was doing this and I don't know them that well. And I'm like, hmm, I feel like we're friends now, right? Like, you feel that like,

it's a connecting point when someone says your name. And I always think it's also important. This is this is not this is part of the tips, but I think when people focus too much on being interesting versus being interested, I think it's really important to be interested versus always try to be so interesting. Because everybody loves to feel like what they say matter, what they're important. And if you can make people feel that what they say matter, what they're important. And if you can make people feel that way by being interested in what they're saying,

I think it levels up the entire experience again. Those are my tips of the day for better strategies for communicating better. Try them out. Maybe you're doing them already. And if you're not and or you're doing most of them, you know, add them in and just be cognizant of how you're doing it. And let me know how it's going. Always leave a comment.

I keep on forgetting. I'm so bad at this, but guys, please, if you can remember, please leave a comment. I love interaction. And that's how I learn what you guys like, what you guys don't like, what you want more of. So please leave me messages, comments, right, wherever you normally do on a podcast. And with that note, I'll talk to you guys later.

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