Habits and Hustle - Episode 305: Jen Sincero: How to be a Badass & Become Your Best Self

Episode Date: December 26, 2023

Transforming your life and unleashing your inner badass isn't about following a one-size-fits-all blueprint. It's about figuring out what works for you, being willing to step outside your comfort zone, and continually striving for self-improvement.  One person who has mastered the art of self-improvement is Jen Sincero, bestselling author of "You Are a Badass". In this episode, we discuss the necessity of doing the inner work to transform one's life and conquer self-doubt. We also discuss how age should not be a barrier to chasing one's dreams, and the significance of surrounding yourself with positivity and taking courageous actions, both essential elements for personal growth and achieving success. Jen Sincero is a #1 New York Times bestselling author, speaker, and motivational cattle prod who’s helped countless people transform their personal and professional lives via her products, speaking engagements, newsletters, seminars, and books. What we discuss: (0:00:01) - Jen Sincero’sjourney from being a struggling musician and freelance writer to becoming a successful life coach and author (0:05:28) - Overcoming self-doubt in writing and publishing, including the process of getting a book deal and facing rejection from publishers (0:11:32) - The importance of taking action to overcome self-doubt and build confidence, and the power of surrounding oneself with positive and inspiring people (0:16:45) - The benefits of guided meditations and how they can help with personal growth and development (0:28:27) - The importance of actively working on one's mindset to overcome negative thoughts and seek personal development (0:41:05) - Following your dreams at any age, using the example of Colonel Sanders who started Kentucky Fried Chicken at the age of 70. (0:44:09) - The concept of being bold and not counting oneself out before even trying Thank you to our sponsors: Pendulum: Head over to www.pendulum.com and use code JENCOHEN for 20% off. OneSkin: Head over to oneskin.co and use code HUSTLE15 for 15% off. Find more from Jen:  Website: https://www.jennifercohen.com/ Instagram: @therealjencohen  Books: https://www.jennifercohen.com/books Speaking: https://www.jennifercohen.com/speaking-engagement Learn more from Jen Sincero: Website: https://jensincero.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jensincero/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I got this Tony Robbins you're listening to Habitson Hustle, Crush it. All right, so guys, today we have a special treat. We have Jensen's Arrow. Did I say your last name? Correct. That's fine. It's Sincero, but everybody says... Sincero.

Okay, no, no, I want to get it correct. Sincero, who wrote the very popular book you are a badass and then create an entire business around it. I loved it book. How many times a day do you hear people tell you how much they loved your book? Oh my gosh. Not hardly ever. What?

Are you serious? I have a line outside my door. I mean, I bump into people every once in a while. Yes, who do you say that? It's delightful. When you wrote the book, did you ever think in a gazillion years it would ever have the popularity and this stamina? I guess that it's to add over all these years?

Hell no. Oh my god, I was like so scrappy when I wrote that thing. I was just hoping to get a few new coaching clients. Yeah, really. I just sort of share what I had learned and write the book that I wanted to read. But my god, this is is way beyond anything I ever. Could you just say, like, you just like, I'm on a tour. Like, wait, what kind of tour you on right now? We just released a collector's edition, the 10th anniversary. It's 10th anniversary

if you are a badass. So we made this fancy hardcover and put a new chapter in and a new forward and interviewed people. It's really exciting. So I just finished the last stop in Los Angeles for the tour. Wow, so it's been 10 years. And okay, so now you have like, how many books from the U.R. badass? Like it's badass, you have the habits, the finance, for money, tell me the other one, okay, you have badass every day, you're doing great.

Yeah, badass every day, what's the other one? Do you know how to do that? You're only an A minus. Yeah, so badass every day and you are a bad ass. Cheese. Yeah. So, okay, so let's go back to your origin story because what I'm curious is if you were kind of like a struggling person beforehand, right? Trying to find gigs. Tell us like if you're background because even though you've been talking about this forever now, you know, my audience may not know.

So let's talk about it. Yeah. I was a musician and a freelance writer and I was scraping by hustling my ass off to get all these freelance writing jobs. It paid nothing and I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life and so I started, it's breeding self-help books because I was just like, I am sucking at this. You know, I had a really fun life.

I just had no money ever and not having money is really boring and upsetting and scary. So I started reading all these books that I was scared I would die and people would find them in my house. And I'd lose all my rock and roll cred. You know, I was super snotty about self-help or any of that stuff. But lo and behold, they were incredible and taught me so much stuff.

And while I was reading them, I was, you know, I had already published two books and I was like, you know, I could write a self-help book. I could write one that's funny and as curse words and blah, blah. But anyway, that was not my head was really out learning how to make money. So then I started following coaches and going to all these motivational seminars. I mean, I was doing everything I could think of to make money

because I was really in dire straits. And then it's a very long story, but I hired a coach from one of those seminars. From what seminar, which one? Oh gosh, I don't even know what it was called. It was just back in the, when coaching was even less snake oil sales, he like, you know,

when it first started, listen, I'm a coach, I can say that like. I was gonna ask you that. No, no, no, it's not snake oil sales. It has changed my, it's totally transformed my life. The only reason I say that is because nobody has back in that day had no credentials. You just put a shingle up on your door.

Literally. Yeah. So anyway, so I was like, I'd never even heard of life coaches, but I just had gotten into that whole world because I was seeking help from somewhere outside myself. Anyway, so I started hearing these people speaking. This one woman was on stage and she was speaking as if she was speaking right to me. She helped women with their financial garbage. And I ended up taking a huge leap of faith

in hiring her, and she completely changed my life. And so during that time, I was coaching other writers, entrepreneurs on how to write and sell their nonfiction book proposals. Yeah. And I don't know if you've ever done stuff like that, but you always end up coaching people. I coached them on the writing, but 90% of it was like, you're not a fraud. You can write a book. You matter. You know, so I was life coaching anyway.

Then I started life coaching for real. Then I wrote the book. So, so you, so when you were life coaching, then you were just basically gleaning all this information from what you've learned in real time and practical. Yeah. So, okay, so besides the life coach that you had, what was your, what was your favorite personal development or self-help type of book? Which one's really helped you the most? Oh my God, the science of getting rich by Wallace Wattles right?

Okay. Like 1901. Minor mostly financial ones from back in those days, because I was all about the money. Think and grow rich. All the old white guys, all the dead white guys, yeah. They were good books though. I know, Yeah. Yeah.

Some of those I feel like they're like the OG, but they're like, that's where everyone now gets the information from anyway. Like it's not like that information is coming. They're taking those things and just repackaging it really. Well, there's it's the same information. It's not new, but it works. And that's the truth. And so, yeah, so that's it. I mean, and that's what my book proposal is all about. I'm not saying anything new.

I'm just saying it in a new way, you know? So, yeah, so I mean, like, was it that, like, when you did yours, though, I felt like, was it because the title was so strong that people just, it was like so captivating? Like, what did you think the reason why it was so... It is. Tilted's Day, very successful. Like, people in my opinion, I don't know any other book in this genre

that had the traction, honestly. I think I was first. I think that had a lot to do with it. I was the first one to take self-help, which was a very sincere, you know, sort of milk toasty. Very, very good. I don't want to trash any of the books

that came before mine because they changed my life. But there was no edge to them. There certainly were no curse words in them. They weren't necessarily funny. You know, so I think I was definitely the first one to throw a quasi. I mean, as asked even a curse word, I don't think it really falls under the big five.

No, no, no, no, no, no, but you know, but I know what you're saying though. Yeah. On a title of a book, Bath Band, it was probably provocative. Yeah, and especially for a self book. Yeah. And now there's a bazillion of them. But so I think I was first, and I also, I don't know, I think because I was such a mess and because I write about it so transparently, I think people can really relate to it.

I don't, I highly doubt on the only one out there who's done that, but I would love to know, honestly, I don't know. I don't question it. I just thank God every day that it happened. Well, of course, I mean, the word bad as I was trying to go back when I was like researching a bit yesterday, like, because now that word is so sin, like that's like synonymous with success and, you know, rock star, like all these words, right? Like, did people even use that word bad aspect then? I didn't, I don't know. I have no idea. Because now everyone, as she's a bad, she's a bad guy. I know. It's like part of like the culture. I know.

I'd love to take credit for that, but I also think I may have just tapped into the zeitgeist of that, like, mate, because I don't use that word in my real life. You don't use that word. It wasn't, I was not walking around telling everybody they were bad-ass, but I don't use that word in my real life. You don't use that word. It wasn't, I was not walking around telling everybody they were bad-ass, but I came up with that title, I was just, but I needed a word that said something like that, and it was the only one I could think of.

Was there other names? Before you titled that, but what were the other names? I was a Newly-in, I don't, you know, ask any of my friends, because I called them every day, I was like, what do you think about this? That I was a copywriter before I was a writer writer. I came up with headlines and tag lines and stuff like that. So I'm really stuck up about the fact

that I'm good at titles and chapter titles. Yeah. And my previous books titles came before the idea of the book even and this one was like birthing a sofa. I could not. I mean, I wrestled that title to the ground. So it was really. Yeah, I know. It was weird, but I'm, listen wrestled that title to the ground. So it was really. Yeah, I know. It was weird, but I'm, listen, you know.

Was there a name that was maybe gonna be called something? I was, okay, when I very first came up with the title and it was gonna be called Think and Grow a Prayer because if Think and Grow are, I was like, balls to be the title of the book. So anyway. That's hilarious, actually. But this balls to be the title of the book. So anyway, that's hilarious actually. But this one's actually much more catchy.

Yeah. What would the other titles of your other books prior to this book then? I wrote a book called Don't Sleep With Your Drummer, which was, I was in a rock band for a long time. So it's my very first book and it's a novel. And then I had a girlfriend for six months. And I wrote a book called The Straight Girls Guide

Just Sleeping With Chicks, because I was like, maybe I'm a lesbian. Maybe I'm not. I don't know. Get a right to book about it. Yeah, what happened with the book? Are you a lesbian? Are you not a lesbian? No, I'm not.

Okay. But you set up a right to book about it to figure it out. Oh, there he is. So then, okay, so the strommer guy, obviously you set up a drummer, obviously that's why. And then you just, so when you decide to do this proposal and you ricochet into another area from all the experience you had,

how was that in terms of getting the book deal? Like, was it easy to come by because you had the other book, right? You think I know, absolutely not. Like, because I had, I mean, my second book was on Simon and Schuster. And they got, they both did decent. I'd made zero dollars on them, but they did okay.

To get in advance at least. Yes, exactly. But you didn't get the payoff. I did not recruit my tiny advance. That's all they did. So no, and so I had an agent, I had a publisher, and nobody would publish you or about as, because they were all like, just what the world needs

is another self-help book, and I was like, I know, I'm just saying it in a different way. I'm not pretending, I'm like adding any, exactly. So it's the giant nanny, nanny, boo-boo of the century, just like all those people who passed on it. Well, I love that. I love the lesser person.

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$300 off exclusive to podcast customers you will also receive a three three year warranty on any unit Which is an additional $84 value Lock this special offer by going to airdoctorpro.com and use promo code hustle. That's airdoctorpro, a-i-r-d-o-c-t-o-r-p-r-o.com promo code hustle. Well, you know what's really fine, which kind of segways really nicely into the book, right? Which is about self-doubt, you know, scared of being, you know, scared of failure, all these things, and like letting yourself kind of be the best version of yourself and not be afraid of like, right?

You know, so which is interesting because there you are a perfect example. The book wasn't even the proposal, wasn't even getting any traction until it did. Right. So what would you say, A, number one, I'm curious before I even go into that, do you still have self doubt based on the fact that you've kind of proven yourself and everyone else wrong with the book? Like do you ever suffer with self doubt? No, of course.

All the time. Do you? Oh, yeah. I'm a human being. Yeah. I have a human being. Yeah. Yeah, but problems. Of course. Yeah. Like, where would you struggle with? What would be your area? Oh, my gosh. Name, name one. I mean, I'm even writing like absolutely all the time. I mean, I don't walk around freaking out, but I'm absolutely. I sit down to write a book and, you know, am I ever going to be able to do as well as that?

Or, you know, am I out of things to say? Is it going to be, am I going to be characterizing myself? You know, like, oh yeah, I'm speaking and definitely, but you just do it anyway. I mean, that's the big thing with self-taughts. Like, hi, nice to see you again. Yeah. I'm going to move forward. And you're going to do it anyway.

Yeah. No, I'm, yes, I agree. And so when people ask you, or would you say, how do people, how do people overcome self-doubt in the best way to do it? Just keep moving. Don't wait to overcome it. Just keep going. Because you're always, it's always going to fear, it's always going to be there.

Doubt is always going to be there. There's always going to be something that you could focus on that will freak you out and stop you if you let it. So it's just like, don't like, don't even acknowledge it. Just be like, great. I'm going to do it anyway. What is the action item? So you're selling people to act to do it regardless. What's the first step? What's the first step? Because when people get so mired and they get very stuck in their over, like in overthinking and in their head. What is the first thing that they can do to overcome their own fear?

I think figure out an action they could take in the direction of where they wanna go and do it. So for me, it's sitting down in front of a blank page and making myself sit there until I write something, like forcing yourself to do it. Yeah, yeah. I mean, that's really what you have to do. You just have to do it.

And even if it stinks, like you have to do something. So yeah, I mean, I's really what you have to do. You just have to do it. And even if it stinks, you have to do something. So yeah, I mean, I find it so interesting because people are always asking you the question, but people always think there's a panacea, like there's an answer. And really, there is no answer. Like, it is something that you have to make a decision. And either you're going to try and do it or you're not. I mean, there's no real answer besides action. Right. Right, right?

Action, I mean, and there's certainly, like educating yourself and surrounding yourself with kick ass people and, you know, all the things to raise your frequency and get you motivated and excited and expansive thinking, you know, reading the self-help books. So three tips, then, three habit,

three good habits that people can do to become less self-doubt and have more confidence. Would you give me a brief? I would say, get into the habit of pausing before you speak and really being careful about how you speak about yourself and how you speak about what's possible and how you speak about what's going on in your life because you always have a choice.

You can whine and you can regurgitate the bad thing that happened in this afternoon, or you can be grateful and positive and excited every moment of every single day you have a choice. It goes for your thoughts too, like, and your beliefs are just thoughts that you keep thinking over and over. So the more you practice on pausing, and when you're going down the wormhole of negative thinking and negative speaking, you just catch yourself and I'm like, I'm going to make a more positive choice because whatever you beat the drum of,

you start to believe. And so that's pausing is huge, hanging out with people who are uplifting and hopefully farther along the path than you are, wherever you wanna be, like there's nothing more inspiring than hanging out with people who are going for it, because when you hang out with your friends who are not as good a place as you,

you feel like a hero for doing your laundry, you know? It's like there's no bar there. So hanging out with people who really inspire you, who have ideas, who cheer you on, who don't tell you how hard it's gonna be and you know worry about you and all that stuff that brings you down. And then the third thing would be to scare the crap out of yourself on a regular basis. Like if you did something that really scared you every day in the direction of your dreams, I'm not meaning like running out in a traffic, you know? But like, yes, I know. So because you get caught in your habitual things

that you do that are comfortable, and you know, we call it the comfort zone, I call it the familiality zone, because it's not comfortable sitting around, feeling stuck and like a big fat loser. Right. So if you do something that scares you, you get an idea, you're like,

oh, that could do something, and it scares me, that's exactly where you need to go. So what did you do today that was uncomfortable? What did I do today that was uncomfortable? Not on vacation. Yeah. Good answer. But do you still do things often that are uncomfortable to kind of jig it up a little

bit to kind of... If I'm going for something, oh yeah. I mean, I've been, this doesn't sound like a big one, but it is. I've been meditating far longer than I, like an hour hour and a half a day, and that's uncomfortable for me. An hour and a half a day. Yeah. So, for how long have you been doing that for? I don't do it an hour and a half every day, but for, like, four months.

What did you start at? What was your starting point? Nothing. I mean, I come and go with it. I fall on and off it, but I'm really, really serious about these days. So like 30s the minimum, 30 minutes is my minimum. Wow.

And then 45 to an hour, doing an hour and a half. What is it done for you? Because I don't know, I know everybody comes on this podcast even. Like that's like one of their things that they do in their routine. And or meditation's become very, very popular in the wellness space.

So obviously I cannot concentrate for more than 10 seconds. Like my mind just wanders. I know. So far. Everybody does. I do. I'm still. I'm still.

Oh yeah. I'm not sitting there, love it, dating for an hour and a half. I'm wrangling the beast to the ground. Wow. How do you do this literally sit there? I highly recommend guided meditations because they give you something to focus on because when you really let this just like have nothing to focus on. Yeah, so I think if you're somebody who's

really struggling, I totally recommend guided meditations. There's a gazillion out there that are really good. You just have to find someone whose voice doesn't annoy you and you know, the right music or whatever. For an hour and a half, though. No, if you're just starting 10 minutes, it's just like, are you doing a guided meditation for an hour and a half? Which one do you like?

Oh gosh, well right now I'm really into Joe D'Spenza's stuff. Yeah, he's become very popular. Yeah, yeah. I like his stuff. He's not the B.O.L. Indell, but I think he's great. I love his work and all that stuff. So I do a lot of Abraham Hicks. Hers or not, there's not that long.

I have my own, I'm sorry to record my own guided meditations, which I'm so excited about actually. You're gonna do your, oh wow. Yeah. This is like become a huge empire, I feel. It could be if I am thank you. And. No, seriously.

It could be, you don't want it to be. Is that kind of you want to kind of put it? I put it. I don't want to work that hard anymore, you don't want it to be. Is that kind of, you want to kind of... I put it... I don't want to work that hard anymore. I don't blame you. I was going to say, because usually nobody makes money off of books. Very rarely does anybody make a dollar off of books. It's a miracle. And then you just did every book, I'm curious about the business side of it.

Did every book hit as not maybe as well as the UR bad ass, but every book was a big success. It was definitely because they were all a big success, but none to the degree that you are a bad ass. How many books more can you have in this time in a trilogy? I don't even know what you call it. It's just a quadrilogy. Yeah, I put you exactly.

Can you take a look at it? It is. All those books, are you going to do, like, you are a badass meditation next? Is that like, what? I don't know. I never know. I never, what happens is I get an idea and it won't leave me alone.

And then I write the book. But I don't have anything hanging on my leg right now. So we'll see. Wow. And so like, you do the speaking. I do, do a lot of speaking. I don't do a lot. I do.

Yeah, I mean, we do, we just, this year was very busy because of the book, the 10-year anniversary. So I do speak sometimes. I really love speaking to my readers. So I love being on a book tour. I don't love having to speak in front of some big company or nobody knows who I am and have to win them. Oh, for a much rather like me, my people. But I do do speaking.

It is fun to be out in the world. I do podcasts, everyone. Yeah, you do. I do podcasts. No, but you walk my dog. You walk your dog. No, I like to know what you do. Like, what's your daily habits then? Like, how do you, like, what do you do daily kind of to keep you on playing meditation as a huge man?

Meditation is a huge one. I don't have days. I am somebody who has no structure and I never have. And that's how I love to live my life. I'm much more of a, I call it like sprint running. I like write my books in a month each time. Like I just, I like to write and then go on tour and then go backpacking for three months. So that's my balance is intense activity

and then napping every day. Napping every day for like months on end. Mm-hmm. Like how much maps? Like how much time was in between those books? So like your... Yeah, so you are a badass came out in 2013. You're a badass at making money came out in 2017,

so there was a huge gap. Yeah, I'm not a prolific writer. So the prolificness started because everything took off and everybody's like, come on, I need more books. So I wrote, you are a badass. It was a slow, we need more books. So I wrote you our bad ass. It was a slow, we didn't hit the New York Times list until three years after it was out. So it was a slow build.

And then it got more popular. And then I wanted to write the money book because my whole, the reason I wrote you our bad ass was all based on my issues with money. So I was really excited to go deep into that. So I wrote you're bad ass making money in 2017. And then I think you are baddest every day 2018 or 19 and then baddest habits in the middle of the pandemic. Thank you very much

Yeah, you didn't know the pancake. Yeah, I write a book about having good habits when I wasn't even like getting out of bed or wearing a bra I was like really I said a novel. What did you write shit? That is hilarious So what did you put in there for your top habits then if you weren't even like It was a much more of do as I say not as I'm doing at the moment I like I like the honesty at least though, right? Like you're not saying you did them You're just saying I if you know in a perfect world you would do them. Oh, yeah, yeah, I know But I do and it is it's like I know how we we all know how to have good habits

You know smoke for the most part, but it is I I mean, and I'd studied it, and I taught, I taught a habits class years ahead before I wrote the book. So I had a pretty good system down, and I'd studied it. And it's really interesting to me. And I think, you know, it was the obvious last, you know, it was the obvious book to come when it did because you had, you know, all the mindset work and all the thoughts and the la la halaha and then thoughts, actions become your habits. And so yeah. Yeah. It's interesting because I think to your point, I don't think anybody now doesn't know

what to do. I think it's pretty clear what to do. It's about actually doing it, right? Like there's so much information out there. Yes. Like of what and everyone I think knows what a healthy habit is versus a unhealthy habit. Right. But it's like actually doing it.

That's the hard part. And getting people to actually do it. Yeah. And that's the thing, right? And what works for you may not work for someone else and vice versa. But I'm still on this hour and a half meditation. I'm actually gonna be looking up screaming

in the middle of the night. Hour and a half. Are you doing it in the morning? Are you doing it at night? Like, well, I try, but like, I'm traveling now, so gotta get up and get moving, so sometimes I do it whenever I can, but the morning is by far the best. [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪

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I'm going to start. I'm going to start. I'm going to start. I'm going to start. I'm going to start. I'm going to start. I'm going to start. I'm going to start.

I'm going to start. I'm going to start. I'm going to start. I'm going to start. I'm going to start. I'm going to start. I'm going to start. I'm going to start.

I'm going to start. I'm going to start. I'm going to start. I'm going to start. I'm going to start. I'm going to start. I'm going proud exercise. Perfect. No, I hike a lot. I'm a very out towards the person. So it's most I like to do. I don't go to the gym or anything though, but I think I'm going to start. You are. Yeah, I mean, you could beat me up with my own arm. I have no upper body strength.

This is just bone and skin that you see here. I thought you're so, yeah, you're up, but you're very thin. Well, well, thank you. Well, but there's no muscle going on from here up. Like, you're not like, you're not gonna take it down my legs, but that's basically, no you're in stops. I love it though, I think that like,

I love the honesty, like you're not sitting here being like, no, I work out four times a week, I do straight training, you don't. So what is a bad ask to you? Like what is considered a bad ask to you? Somebody who gives themselves permission to be, do and have everything they desire, and who goes out and does it.

Yeah, people actually live authentically of who they have to. Yeah. And like, what happens if, and I know you've said this before in an interview, and I think one of the most popular questions that people ask you or something is that, like, what if the people around you don't want?

Like, what's the question that, what if the people closest to you't want? What's that question that, what if the people close as to you don't support what you're doing? What you're doing, they make fun of you or they tell you why it's not gonna work or yeah, they just don't support you. Yeah, yeah. And it's a really popular question

because when you start to change who you're being, you are literally killing off your old identity. So, you know, first of all, it upsets the relationship. So, this is mostly subconsciously happening with them, but they get into fear mode because you're changing who you're being and they're afraid they're gonna lose you because the relationship is gonna change because you're gonna be a different person.

And you know, think about it, you're killing off the person they love and that usually makes people grouchy as well. So, it really is this survival instinct for the old relationship. They wanna keep it as it is, because if you change, it's uncertain. And humans, nothing freaks us out more than uncertainty. Absolutely.

So that's why. I think most of us stay where we are, because we don't like to change, or we like change, and we accept good enough for that reason. Because we don't want the unknown. We prefer the known crappy to the unknown. Unknown, I know. I think the unknown is the scariest thing in the world.

They'd rather take the devil you know versus the devil you don't know. Yeah, right? Yeah, it's hard to do that. Well, is it though? So this is the thing, it's like, I know you've done amazing things in your life. You know, I'm sure many of them,

you had no idea where you were going at first and how you were going to get there and all the stuff. And so you've done it and you know that it's awesome on the other side. And we've all got something, right? So then why do we buy into this fact? This fact that the unknown, that the known is safer and more comfortable,

because it's not. It's not. But I think what happens is our number one need in life is security, right? I think over, especially for women, I think women really like crave security. So they'd rather take mediocrity, like mediocre, then take a chance because of the unknown. Now even, I think it's more of a psychological thing. I think there are people who, I think it has to be bad enough.

That's why I think the worst thing in the world is like kind of okay because you'll stay it okay. It has to be bad for someone to want to change, as opposed to just being, because you're in that place of like, well, you can talk yourself in or out of anything. So you can think, well, how bad do I have it? Like, look at Mary.

Mary has it this bad. And look at me. I at least I have this. I at least, you justify. Sure. You justify your life. That's what happens. Well, and then that's what you get.

Yeah, no, I agree. But I tell people, I mean, listen, I think people should pick a direction, not necessarily a destination. You don't necessarily, you don't need to know exactly what it's going to be, but if you go in the path of what you're interested in, you usually find a way that's better than where you are. That's how I see it. Yeah, yeah, right?

I agree with that. Yeah. That's just my opinion, I mean, you know, but. Yeah, no. But I always think, I find like like this is like the stop is in the start. That's why it's like these books, you know, with self-doubt, like how do people actually conquer their own brain besides act like what's that action point to get you to action?

You're not going to like my answer. What action? Meditation. I really. How do you conquer your own brain? Meditation. Meditation because your own brain. Meditation. Meditation because what meditation does is it interrupts. There's some statistic that says 80% of the thoughts, I'm not sure on the percentage.

Our thoughts we think every day. The same thoughts that are not necessarily helpful are doing, it's just, and 60%. I've seen that study. Right? Okay. So you're thinking the same hamster wheel of thoughts and what you think about becomes your reality, what you focus on becomes your reality. Yeah.

Right? So if you keep regurgitating the same thoughts over and over and over, you're never going to let this inspired thought from like your more evolved self come in because you're so busy running on that hamster wheel. So that's what meditation does is it slows it down and sometimes even stops it. So you can get quiet because where you are right now is the result of all these thoughts you're thinking. So if you want to be somewhere else, you've got to stop thinking those thoughts. Totally true. So that's what meditation does.

But when I feel that happens, when I do it, I still, it's a meditation is a good place to ruminate. Well, that's because it's a practice. And it's like going to the gym for the first time in 10 years. It's not going to go so well. You just got to get in there and practice. So start with five minutes a day. Yeah. Start with five minutes a day for a month,

10 minutes a day for the next month, 15 minutes. But how do you not ruminate and have that loop of the things that are negative when you will? You absolutely will. And when you catch yourself because you're meditating and you're practicing, you make the decision when you go into your meditation. You're like, when I catch myself ruminating and spinning out on those negative thoughts, I'm going to notice it and be like, oh, there they are.

And then I'm going to put my focus somewhere else. Yeah. And that's all it is. It's not sexy. That's all it is. It's not sexy. That's all it is. You catch your, everybody who meditates faces those thoughts repeatedly. So is that what it, is that what it did for you? It kind of helped stop the negative thoughts.

Yes. They're never gone. It's never going to stop. They'll never stop. But I'm much better at controlling it and catching myself and not buying into it because what happens is you get in them and then you get a physical reaction, right? Like you could stress out, you get angry and you just keep going farther and farther. So when you're good at meditating, you catch yourself, you're like, I could make a much

better choice right now. Yeah. I mean, think how easily we forget stuff all the time. We're really good at forgetting stuff. So we can use that super-powered to forget the negative thoughts. Oh my god. I totally agree. You talk about like I think was that the spiritual gym and what is in the spiritual gym? Like what are the things that encompass this spiritual gym? Yeah. So my mindset is a muscle just like our bodies. So you don't get to go to the

gym and get in perfect shape and then stop working out and keep that perfect shape, right? You got to keep going keep all the rest of your life or atrophies Exactly so same thing with your mindset so Spiritual gym practice meditation reading self-help books listening to podcasts that inspire you hanging out with people who inspire you talking about big ideas and thoughts Exercising nature music is a huge one, like what music pumps you up, you know, it's all about how you feel. So you want to feel uplifted and good and positive as much as possible. You're not going to be there all

the time, nobody is. But you want to get yourself to stop thinking those negative thoughts to being a peaceful place, be in gratitude like all that Erie fairy stuff. That's what you're going for and that's why we're always screaming and yelling about it Are you Erie fairy then or not because you totally sound Erie fairy, but then you are into all the Erie fairy I am the ariest of the fairies And I know how it sounds and I I And I know how it sounds. And I have spent, you know, the past decade or so screaming and yelling about it.

I love that. So besides the old books, I'm curious like, who now do you feel inspires or motivates you or who's doing it really well in the personal development space? God, I wish, okay. I don't, I'm not reading that much of the new stuff anymore. I go back to the old stuff. I'm kind of way with music too. Like I'm just like, you know, I don't, I'm not reading that much of the new stuff anymore. I go back to the old stuff. I'm kind of way with music too.

Like I'm just like, you know, I'm 58. I'm like, I know it's good. I have these new kids. I'm sure they're great, but I really like the science of getting rich by Wallace Waldo. Right. You know what works. I know what works for me. Yeah.

And so I'm sure there's lots of good stuff out there. I am not the source of that information, but I mean, I don't know what to tell you. Did you do back when, no, no, I listened, I felt it's right. Did you do back then, like the Tony Robbins seminars, the landmark seminars, all those? You know, I didn't.

I, and not for any reason, yeah. I would have, by the way, I was a total candidate to being a cult too. Like I, I never was in one. Okay. By the grace of whatever, but I, I was such a seeker and I was so hungry to change and I totally fit the profile.

It's like, you know, white educated women or something. Yeah, is it really white educated women? Or is the profile for a car? I read that somewhere. Yeah. Educated? Why didn't it know that? Yeah, because you're looking for more, you're looking for information and knowledge I read that somewhere. Yeah. Educated. Uh-huh. Why didn't know that? Because you're looking for more, you're, you're looking for information and knowledge.

Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. So I got lucky and I didn't get sucked into anything, but that's, you know, whatever. Yeah. I don't even know why I'm. No, but maybe no, but I actually, I know I'm actually I'm glad you said that I would think it'd be people who are searching because they were lacking something. That doesn't mean necessarily educated. It means more like there's a gaping hole in them somewhere so they're constantly reaching something. That's definitely part of the profile.

Yeah, but we're also white ladies who are educated. Yeah, that's true. That's true. With jack holes. In our hearts. Exactly. I love it. Okay, but go on.

What are you gonna say? I don't really know what I was going to say. I don't either. What were we saying? Oh, you would be at home. We can only treat our negative thoughts like that moment. We'd be amazing. It would be perfect.

What was I going to say? Oh, you said that you don't remat, like you don't know, no one right now, like currently. But you like, like, I went. Yes. But back when. Back when. I would have gone to Tony Robbins. Yeah.

I don't know why I didn't. But I really loved his work and his work helped me a lot back then. I'm just, now I'm thinking, like, my brain's going, like, what back then was really popular? The millionaire mind, what's his face? The millionaire mind guy, he's another old white guy. Anyway, because I keep on thinking Tony Robbins was around for like a hundred years. He was around for like a hundred years. He's been here forever.. Yeah. He's been here forever. Yes. That's why I thought for sure you would have been. No, I know in landmark. I had a but like I kind of just, you know what it is, I think I got into everything a little late. I'm a very late bloomer. So

I got into, yeah, also not of my friends were doing this stuff. They were, I was, I was in a punk band. Like everybody was just like, you're all- We were a singer, what would you do? Yeah, a yellur, but yes. But I didn't know anybody who was doing it, and I did it very covertly because I was ashamed. I thought this woo-woo airy, fairy stuff. And I was so snarky about it. I also, to answer your previous question, I think one of the reasons my book is doing so well too, is that I was horrified by this stuff. I thought it was so dorky and cheesy and gooey and pathetic. Yeah. But I was also desperate.

So I was like, listen, I get it if you feel this way, but I'm just telling you, this shit works. And if I can get over my snarkiness, I highly recommend you do too because life is so much more fun on the other side. I don't know. But anyway, yeah. So I wasn't really into that world. And I sort of got into it through other channels living

in LA and going to a lot of entrepreneurial women's conferences, networking things. And I sort of met coaches that way, like the people who were sort of the early coaches. And none of them are very famous or anything, but they... Oh, that's how you did it. Okay, that makes me worse. Okay, now, I'm getting a bit... Yeah. I thought you were going to all those things,

like going to those, like when you were saying these seminars, I was thinking these big conferences, like that go around conferences. These guys had conferences, and just weren't as huge as Tony Ra. They're just more like, they're more smaller. They're smaller. But you said that you were a life coach.

So you actually had a bunch of clients. Oh yeah. When did you stop doing that? I still kind of do it. I, you know, I did it. When I wrote your about us, it was more, I wanted a book to support my coaching business because I figured they gave me some street cred.

That was the main reason I wrote it. And then the book did so, I was like, I don't got a coach anymore. But now I miss it. And I like the group coaching a lot. Like I love the Q&As at my talks and I love just being with my people So I've been doing these online group coaching programs. I've been I started out doing them when the book first came out I based I have an eight-week program that I based on you are about us and it was so much fun

And I'd you know get a couple hundred people in there and whatever It lasted for two months and then I did that for a of years and then I started selling them just on my website. It's a download. As a PDF. Yeah, a PDF in the videos and recordings and blah, blah, blah. But just last year I was like, I really miss those guys and I wanna be with my peeps and so I've started coaching it live again.

Really? Yeah, it's really fun. And it keeps me on my game. Like I'm sitting around watching birds during crossword puzzles. I was like, I gotta get back in the game. Yeah. So thinking about this stuff and coaching other people

and seeing what they're out there doing and being so brave and conquering it and expanding their mindsets, it's totally good for me too. Yeah, I mean, I can see that for sure. And people love the one-on. Like they love the interaction in person type of thing. Besides the thing,

when you just, with size of question you said earlier about, we talked about being the very, the most popular question, which is how people react and respond when you're starting to change. What are some other things that you've noticed are like the pillars that people constantly bring up to you? Like that they're having the most issues with

or the most common questions or things that they want your help with. You know, I had somebody reading just the other day who was saying that, you know, she's got all this energy, she just doesn't know what to do with it. And, you know, it's like, I just don't know where to channel it. And so I asked her this question only because this is how I was forever.

And I was like, do you really not know know or do you think what you really want to do won't make you any money? And that is often the case or that what you're going to do is you're going to get made fun of. Or a lot of times you kind of know we just don't think we can because of A, B and C. Right. So that's the first thing. Sometimes you really are lost in space, but a lot of times you kind of know you just, you're embarrassed

or you think you're, and she was poet. She's like, Oh, so that makes sense. Yeah. And I was like, are there any rich poets in the world? Yes. So do it, girl. Right, so you try to inspire people to take their passion and make it profit, basically, like make it their life, right? If that's what they want to do. Yeah, that's what they want to do, right? Because there's a whole other theory of keep your passion, your passion, so because you'll be starving otherwise, right?

Like that's not your, that's not the way you think. How are we supposed to have any fun in life if that's true? 100% but it's true. But at the same time, it's like wherever you lean in, wherever you put your energy is where you're going to be successful with anything. So if she's a poet and she does a 24 hours a day or whatever, not 24. But you know, the chances of the success will eventually come. But if you just dabble in something

and not spend your energy and time, there's only so much success you can, like that's like, I don't know, I feel like if you're spread yourself too thin, nothing ever becomes really that, nothing ever grew. Oh, absolutely. Yeah.

Versus if you're like really laser focused. Yeah, I agree. You know, what is your thought, I don't know the answer, I've even have to ask you. I can tell already with the meditation part, but what is your thought? I don't know the answer. I've even have to ask you. I can tell already with the meditation part But what is your thought on manifestation? You probably believe in manifestation and you manifest what you want and it comes to Are you a big believer in that? Oh, yeah. Yeah, of course. I knew you were gonna be that was like an easy

That was like a softball like that softball question, right? I didn't even have to be there for that right like I could have just like Texted you that one right Because that's so obvious. So you believe in all that. You believe in manifestation. It depends. What are you talking about with men? But I mean, no, because you say action. But you want, so a lot of times people think, if I envision, I vision myself a certain way, then it will come true without action.

Well, this in general, this like, again, I'm going over like very trendy hashtaggy things like, you know, meditation, manifestation, right. But yeah, so you're saying you believe in it, but has to have action attached to it. So the thing with the belief versus the negative self-doubt and all the reasons fears doubt worries, the manifestation works because

when you silence, what you focus on you create more of. That's just the way it is. So when you knock it off with all that crap that you're thinking about and you get into a quiet place and you think about it and most importantly, you feel it. When you get excited about it and you get the energy about it and you raise your frequency. Yeah. And you're in that higher frequency, you are able to bring in the thoughts, see, the thoughts that are going to have you take inspired action as opposed to battling it out action with these negative thoughts. I mean, you can still get places by taking action and being negative and whining and, you know, having everything be hard and, you know, totally. You can get

there or you can knock it off and you can just really focus on what you, totally. You can get there, or you can knock it off, and you can just really focus on what you desire and get excited about it and be grateful that it's already exists, and then that's how, and then you'll get that inspired thoughts to take the action on it. You know, I just realized, as you were talking about that, if the book is 10 years old, you told me just now,

you're 58 years old, you wrote the book, or told me just now you're 58 years old. You wrote the book or came out when you were 48 years old. I'm telling you, a late bloomer, asaurus. But I love that though, because it just kind of proves the point that it's never too late to follow your dreams, to follow, like, you don't count yourself out because of some silly thing that you think is like, oh, I'm too old. I'm not. There's always a million reasons not to do what you want to do. Oh, right. Yes. I heard a great thing the other day too. This friend of mine was like,

what if? We all started like, 58. That's like very close to 60. And so we all get to the certain age and it's like we're resigning ourselves for old age. Like, you know, the hips are going to go. and it's like we're resigning ourselves for old age. Like, you know, the hips are gonna go, the looks are gonna go, things are gonna sag, stuff's gonna get, you know, slow down. She's like, what if the last third of our lives was even better than the first two thirds? And that is not something you ever hear about.

It's all about resigning yourself and slowing down. Listen, I'm gonna live in a one level hat. Like, I'm gonna make it easy for myself to hold the time, not gonna act like I have to, I'm gonna see if I one level hat. Like I'm gonna make it easy for myself, but I'm not gonna act like I have to, I'm gonna see if I can make it even better because the thing that you have when you're old, two things that I love the most about being old is on my Helleve a lot smarter.

I've got a lot more experience. And, and I don't know about you, but every year I age, I give less, can I curse on your show? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I give less of a shit what anybody thinks about me. Yeah. And that is one of the greatest gifts ever.

It's so I just feel like it could happen that the last third could be the best one. Because without those two things, like if you really don't care what anybody else thinks about you, you are free. You are as authentic as it comes. And so- 100%.

Yeah. And then you just know so much more. And you don't have time for idiots and You know toxic people and I just it's so nice You're 100% I totally cannot agree with you more and the funny thing is the less you give a show And other people think the more opportunity that presents itself because you will go after things without that idea Like well, what is it gonna look like? What's that person gonna think and that that lack or that ability well, what is it going to look like? What's that person going to think?

And that lack or that ability to not care and try to please somebody else. So true. It takes a lot of energy. It takes a lot of energy. Because I think a lot of times we end up going in these paths or directions, not because we wanted to do it,

but because we felt an obligation or what we should be doing. And then that's how your life becomes not your life. Right, exactly. And so if we, so I feel like as we get older, your chances actually become more possible to live the life, self-actualized, in the way you want it. Yes, you know, so that's why I love that.

Like you were 48, you wrote this book that became, you crushed it in that world. And usually people think, oh yeah, well, I couldn't write a book. I'm too old and this. You are like a beacon of hope for so many people. I like the Kentucky Fried Chicken guy. No, seriously. He started when he was 70.

I think Kentucky Fried Chicken himself helped. Yes. Yeah. That's actually a Vindee. Yeah. I'm super excited to share my latest health obsession with you guys. It's called Metabolic Daily by Pendulum. Metabolic daily is a powerful, multistrain probiotic that really improves your metabolism, reduces your sugar cravings, breaks down carbs more efficiently, and sustains your energy. I've been taking metabolic daily for

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I'm gonna be, I'm doing this speech in this week about being bold because that's my big message. I don't know how much you know about me. You probably didn't know that, but it's about being bold. And I'm gonna use you as an ex, I'm gonna put you in my speech. Thank you. No, I swear because you know what, like that is an exact, exact, like you can't count yourself out

before even putting yourself in the game. That's a good one. You need to write that down. I know, it's in my book. Okay. I know. Don't steal it, because you're gonna make it famous. But no, like I said, I know you're in a,

we have a hard out, I don't know what time it is. Yeah, I got it. I got to like, wrap it with you, because I know you got to go. I just have, yeah, like I feel like you kind of answered all the questions. We don't have, we can, I don't want you to be late for whatever your, your plane or whatever, but I want people to know the book is on. It's a 10 year anniversary. Can they, do you have like a thing where people can buy all the books like a, like a, like a package where everyone can get all the, you know, sat there on different

publishers. So you really, while you are bad-ass was one publisher and then the other three are on a different publisher they didn't take the other books house that did you have a deal with them with a writer for a few long story I have five minutes I got off of a lot more money from another publisher and you were allowed to leave the publisher I had a one book contract so they had first ready refusal oh my gosh but like yeah but when they saw that your book was like, like, we're so successful, they didn't want to take the other book or the other ones offered you so much more,

they couldn't compete that. Wow. So who you want right now, by the way? Penguin Random House. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah. So then do you have like a multiple book deal now? Do you have to do right more?

I'm the right one. I'm the right one. Multiple book deal. No, I don't have any deal now. No, this one's saying like I'm free to be you and me. I'm, I'm, you could do whatever you want. Yeah. Wow. Have you ever done a master class on how to be a bad ass?

You know, we've thought about it. I've thought about it. Yeah, everything, listen, it has to be fun. Give me energy and have meaning. Those are my three things. So I have to decide if that would be fun. How about like a, how about like a retreat for women? Is that gonna be fun. How about a retreat for women? Is that gonna be fun?

I mean, maybe for the women. That's what I mean. So, I'm thinking about you. These are excellent questions. And yes, I am asking them. I don't know. Because your brand has so many, like this is what I do for it.

Like your brand has so many extensions. I know. Like you were saying like you have, it's like it could be as big as you want it or as small as you want it. My niece is having an an aneurysm every time she goes to my Instagram. She's like you don't even have 200,000 followers You should have millions what's my name? I'm like a I know I'm like your niece I know I'll give you her number at the two of you can talk about behind my back 100% I know because is it because you just don't give a shit or you're not like you really just don't like

What is your reason that you really want to be the fun social media is not always the worst right? So the thing is I am yes, I so I'm just like Listen, I'm so grateful anybody follows me and I mean, right, but it's not your thing. It's not your jam. Yeah so but you could do what everybody else seems to be doing and just give it to someone else to manage. Yeah, but I gotta be right. I gotta be speaking. It's gotta be me. You gotta make the content the way I write and I think that's important and yeah, I gotta make the content. You gotta make the content look at birds. And that's, but that's to me, maybe that's part of your brilliance in a way. It's like, you know, sometimes when you're too available or too exposed, it kind of loses its lure a little bit too, right?

Like, I feel like, you know, way, like everyone is like so of, like, everyone's just, they are on everything. They're so visible everywhere. Yeah. Like, there has to be another way to make business, business, with you not having to, not you, I'm talking like with everyone, just to kind of like just basically be part that hamster wheel of the world.

I know if it's the new, the new way. I don't know, but I bet there's people out there killing it without that. I wouldn't know, that's your, I don't know, that stuff. But you could be doing these workshops and these courses and the funnels, you're not doing the funnels and all that. Like, oh, I got to talk to your niece. No, I know.

I know. She's just like, damn. I don't understand. I know, I know. I know. Listen, fun, energy, meaning. Those are my three things that you still be money, money, money, money, money.

But now you have that. I'm okay with money. So, I mean, I love making it still be money, money, money, money, money. But now you have that. I'm okay with money. So I mean, I love making it still. Yeah, I know, yeah. Two things and whatever, but it's not the main thing. So it really is about balance also, like having, like, doing work stuff that you are interested and enjoy. But the thing is when you're not motivated by money anymore, you can pick differently.

And it's been really disorienting, I gotta say. Like it's been really weird, it's been amazing, but it's been, I got a little scent for a loop, I was like, I don't have to do anything anymore. So I didn't, like I really just sat on my ass and all I did was hike and do crossword puzzles. And then I got really bored. So now I'm trying to figure out what the next thing is

and it's just again, fun, energy, and... Right, so it'll be fun, but I'm super excited whenever I decide to do. Oh my God, I'm excited. I wanna be involved, I love it. I see all these brand extensions for you. I'm like why are they not being done? I know, I mean, I wanna design furniture, I love design.

Like, I would have a whole badass line of bags. Like, I love traveling. Yeah. Yeah. It's more about merch, I think, but then I hate waste, and I hate putting more shit out into the world. It is about merch, I guess. You know what's so fine about it,

because every girl seriously knows this book. That's what's so crazy to me. The demo is very wide. It's young and old. It's because people give it to people when they like it, which is... That's right. I mean, three years it took to get on the New York Times

bestseller lessons, because my readers are fucking awesome and they pass it around. And they pass it around. Yeah. Can I tell you something? That's how I got the book. Yeah. Someone gave it to me as a gift.

Yeah. And then I gifted it to someone else. Yes. How it happened. I called the yellow snowball. It's why the yellow snowball. It's because it's snowball just because it's because it's because it's because yellow on its funny because it's in the snow. Yeah, but because it just grew on its own. It's just as you roll the snowball it turns into so organic. It's like the best way to do it.

It's a miracle. I'm like blown away. The only book that is similar to be honest that I know is Atomic Habits. That guy. I mean, he'll like it. Oh my God. So cool. He's still on that. He's still on that. He's like, no, he's still number one on the New York Times. He's, he's been here for like months and months and months, months.

Oh, no, no, no. Years. Excuse me. Correct. Years. Do you know that it has space because of him, people like my, well, uh, it's, you have one less spot to even get on the spot because of split because nothing can knock that guy off the book, often thing.

It's so exciting. Isn't that crazy? That's amazing. Yeah. There's only a few books in that yours for the female. How about a male version of this book? What do you mean? Your badass is very female, like, raw raw.

Like women love it. Is there a male version to it? I do, I actually just had breakfast with my first private coaching client who was a guy. And a lot of my private clients were men and I think my voice is, I think men, they like the book. They kinda, so I think it's more that women

are way more into self-help than men. Not to say men are right. That's exactly it. There are plenty of men into it but I think just's more that women are way more into self-help than men. Not the same as men like. That's exactly it. There are plenty of men into it, but I think just the demographic is. Well, I think that your voice in the book is not a turn-off for men. Right. Right. Because it's not airy, fairy, you know?

Guys can like it too. Right. Is that your phone? No, I don't know what that was, but I just was like, oh, is that a flight? Oh, okay. I know she has to go to a flight. So Jen. Okay. Sin. Say it again. I sin. Cherro. Jen sin. Cherro. Yeah. You are a badass author of that book and many others. You are a badass. Thank you for being on the podcast and follow her on Instagram. Yeah.

Please. And tell your friends. And tell your friends and Tik Tok. If tick talk if you are you want tick talk? Hello, okay. Yeah, I am. I haven't I don't even know how to get on it. I don't know what I'm doing newsletter Facebook. I do. Yes. Okay. Okay. Instagram. Please Facebook Twitter. I do have a tick time I'm trying to get more into TikTok, but you gotta make videos to be on I know that's on you. That's on me. Yeah. Um, maybe I'll see Whatever. Yeah. Yeah. So those things. And then you are about s.com. You can get to me or gen is synchero.com and it's J.E.N.

And then the word sincere with an O on the N J E N S I N C E R O dot com. Amazing. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. It's super fun. Yeah. Thank you. Bye. This episode is brought to you by the YAP Media Podcast Network.

I'm Holla Taha, CEO of the award-winning digital media empire YAP Media, and host of YAP Young & Profiting Podcast, a number one entrepreneurship and self-improvement podcast where you can listen, learn, and profit. On Young & Profiting podcast, I interview the brightest minds in the world and I turn their wisdom into actionable advice that you can use in your daily life. Each week, we dive into a new topic like the art of side hustles, how to level up your influence and persuasion and goal setting. I interview A-list guests on Young & Profiting. I've got the best guests. Like the world's number one negotiation expert Chris Voss shark Damon John

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