Habits and Hustle - Episode 306: Dr. Christian Gonzalez: Doctors Advice on Why You Can’t Heal Your Body without Healing Your Mind

Episode Date: December 29, 2023

In this episode of Habits and Hustle, I chat with Dr. Christian Gonzalez, a doctor turned healer, about the powerful role of emotional repression in our overall well-being, the importance of feeling our body and understanding the emotions associated with different parts, and how people become people pleasers, overachievers, and workaholics. We also discuss healing with psychedelics, the truth about authenticity, and the difference between masculine and feminine energies. Dr. Christian Gonzalez, aka Dr. G, is a naturopathic doctor who is passionate about environmental medicine as well as the mind, body, and spirit connection. He is the founder of Elm, a safe haven for healing, and host of the Podcast Heal Thy Self.  What we discuss: (0:04:37) - The Importance of Emotional Healing (0:07:54) - How to Know if You Are Repressing Emotions and How To Deal With It (0:15:19) - Why It’s Important to Reconnect with Your Body (0:20:23) - Understanding the Deep-Seated Connection between Emotions and the Body (0:26:48) - The Power of Womb Healing (0:29:12) - Emotional Healing through Ayahuasca (0:40:25) - The Truth About Authenticity (0:47:13) - How Trauma in the Household Affects People: People Pleasers, Overachievers, and Workaholics (0:54:47) - Navigating Masculine and Feminine Energy Thank you to our sponsor: Therasage: Head over to therasage.com and use code Be Bold for 15% off Find more from Jen:  Website: https://www.jennifercohen.com/ Instagram: @therealjencohen  Books: https://www.jennifercohen.com/books Speaking: https://www.jennifercohen.com/speaking-engagement Learn more from Dr. Christian Gonzalez: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/doctor.gonzalez Virtual Group Classes: https://www.elm.health/ Heal Thy Self Podcast: https://docgonzalez.com/podcast/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I got his Tony Robbins you're listening to habits and hustle crush it Okay, you guys this is gonna be a very informative interesting podcast I know already because we have one of my favorite guests who's been on doctor I call you doctor G that's your name also on Instagram, right? Yeah, yeah, but his name is Christian Gonzalez He really is one of the most informative, well-read, knowledgeable people out there. And I've had a lot of people on this podcast, so that's a big compliment.

Thank you. You're welcome. And he does something, you know, it's funny, I reached out to you. I'm gonna just say, I reached out to you again, because like I said, I really like you to come back on. And what I did, I didn't even know what you were really doing anymore.

Like I thought you were doing the same things you were doing, which was, he has a podcast called Heal Thyself and you talk a lot about like just like, basically like ways to heal thyself, right? But then you started this new thing, what's it called? It's called emotional healing, emotional release.

And most, but there's a company called EMS Health. Oh, Elm, yeah. Elm Health. Yeah, Elm Health. So did you go from your doctor, right? Would you call it like, you're a functional doctor and natural path? Natural pathic.

Natural pathic doctor. That's the, I need the link, the link though. Yeah, he did, he did. I need the linko, like, and linko. And you spoke a lot about different home toxins, how you can kind of get better, your specialty was breast cancer, right? And are you not speaking about that stuff as much anymore? And did you completely, like you went

from being a doctor to like a healer? That's exactly the way I see it, right? Okay. So the doctor version of me coming out of school was hyper focused on cancer. And that was, I was very purposeful because my mom died of breast cancer when I was in school. Right.

So that was my purpose in coming into this healing. And this may be interesting. When I first started seeing patients who had breast cancer at a young girl come in and she was younger than me. And I remember I seeing patients who had breast cancer, I had a young girl come in and she was younger than me. And I remember I was inspired on my whiteboard right by my desk to draw a big pie graph. What do I know that causes cancer? And I started putting in chunks like pieces of the pie. We know through evidence like this. Then what do I see in her labs? What am I seeing as far as toxic load because she was a hairdresser

and she had tattoos from her neck to her toe? So, okay, I started thinking about heavy metals. What's in her body? That's another piece of the pie. And the emotional part, I didn't really know enough about it at the time, but I go, these two no one's talking about. I decided to go to toxins route

because there was a lot of evidence there. So I can communicate that in ways that, in my white coat, people would be like, oh, he knows what he's talking about. Right. Instead of going down the emotional route, which is a little more abstract, you can't necessarily quantify an emotion.

So that was my journey. So four years into it, or four years later, I meet you and I'm on your podcast because I started learning a lot about, all right, what is the implication of heavy metals, what is the implication of toxins that we're exposed to at home, at work, and how are they affecting our hormones, our brain, our nerve?

And that sort of culminated into this, like, okay, I'm on all these podcasts talking about toxins. People love when I talk about it on my show. People wanna know what's in this matcha, what's in this cacao, what about this protein powder, give me the list, give me the list, I'm waiting. And so true, I'm waiting. And so true, I love going onto your page

because you always gave such great information about these things that people, like the layman's, people would not necessarily ever know those things. Right, right. There's still a passion there, but the reason why it sort of started to shift was because there was a moment, right?

And I was worried, I was moving into a new place and I was worried about mold. Because I was sick with mold years ago. And that's an environmental toxin. That's a toxin we're exposed to. And I'm like a canary in the coal mine. I could smell mold. I can even tell you what room it's in.

I could tell you it's fit into the closet or near the bed. Like my body, it's a real sensitive shift, but you feel like kind of like, whoa, I feel high. Like the mold just hit me, you know? Wow. And I was worried. And I go, oh my god, all this mold. I can't move here. I like this place,, whoa, I feel high. Like the mold just hit me, you know? Wow. And I was worried. And I go, oh my god, all this mold. I can't move here.

I like this place, but I can't move here. And what happened was I stopped for that moment. I said, okay, every place is gonna have mold. Every place on some level is gonna have mold, every home unless we're living in a cave and there's gonna be mold in a cave. Yeah. So I said to myself, what about resiliency, okay?

That cup that overflows when you're exposed to mold, what else is in there? And I started thinking about all the things, but then I started thinking about what's the size of the cup. Is it, is my cup like a huge mason jar, or is it a shot glass? And then I thought about what dictates the size of the cup? What is the resiliency aspect? And then it hit me, the emotional part is integral

for everything. For me, more important than talking about the toxins you're exposed to is the resiliency to the toxins you're exposed to. And the resiliency comes from your emotional resiliency. Are you expressing repressed emotions that you've been holding in since you were a kid, or are you holding them in? Because if you're holding them in, you're using a ton of resources that is affecting your resiliency, i.e. your cup is getting smaller and smaller and smaller. And of course, when you're exposed to a toxin or a really crappy nail polish or all of the things that we're breathing in and putting on our skin, that's when it overflows. But I needed to take two steps back and go, okay, what comes before all of this and what I found was that it was a motion overpression.

And so did you, because before we started, I was like, you know, we became friends and I didn't only see you afterwards, but we wanted to, we had good intentions. And you're like, I know, because I moved, and I was healing, and I was a hermit. So, were you using yourself as like a guinea pig, or did you recognize us in yourself, and what happened? That's a good question, because the irony, and I realized this recently,

I was about to do my podcast, and I'm sitting, and I have a guest coming in, and I'm just looking around my studio, and see my design behind me around the moss wall and it says heal thyself right and I'm looking at it and I hit me again another moment of hitting me right. Yeah. That everything that I've been going through on my health experience from the physical mental emotional has all culminated to this capacity to hold people in this healing. I wouldn't have been able to do any of this healing four years ago,

because I hadn't addressed my own suppressed sadness, anger, fear, and sexual repression. Until those were expressed and come into alignment into terms, then I would never be able to be a healer, as you said, the switch from the doctor to the really overarching healer. So that process started when I moved into the mountains of Tepenga, and I was hermit man, right? For how long were you hermit? I was there for a full year.

It was enough. Yeah, I mean, I hardly went down. I hardly saw friends. If I could grow a real beard, it would have been down to my chest, but you know, it's really spotty. You look like you're 11. I was, I don't exactly, but man, like you're 11. I was, I got exactly it.

But, but man, like coming into terms, you know what I did, I gave myself the opportunity to be with myself, the thing we run away from, the thing we so desperately run away from. When we're finally with ourselves, we're like, okay, let me do the dishes, okay, let me call up my friend, okay, maybe I'll watch this new show or maybe let's clean the house.

We never can just be, and I believe the reason for that is because we're so in our head or ego to pull away from that pain that we hold in the body. Because we inherently know we carry a fuck ton of pain. So when we pull away from that pain, we stay in our head. And when we're in our head, we're always doing instead of being. So I allowed myself into Penga for that year to be.

And ironically, when I allow myself to be in the first two weeks, I start crying. And I cried for 40 days straight. I really grieved my mother. What I didn't agree for about eight, nine years up to that point, eight, nine years worth of tears came out that I was holding in. And why? It's because I stopped doing. I didn't have anything to do. I had work to do, but I was alone. My distraction was friends, social, always going out, which is sort of why I became a her, because I knew that, and then I forced myself to be,

and it was uncomfortable, and it was painful, but inevitably the body knows how to heal, so things started coming up. What's interesting, because that's exactly right, like we distract ourselves from ever feeling something that we don't want to feel, and so we scroll our phones, and we keep ourselves busy

by making phone calls or just whatever we can do. Right. Till like not do that. So then let's start from the beginning. Okay, so your whole thing then is emotional healing and then emotional repression, like how we are all basically emotionally repressed. And how do we know if we have emotions that we're repressing? And what's the first step to deal with it?

Let's talk about that. That's good. I like the sequencing of your questions because that's how I think. I'm like, well, what's the story? How do we start this? Exactly. So inevitably, everyone's holding an emotion.

Unless that person can completely connect to their sadness, their anger, their fear, their guilt, their shame, their sexual repression, they're able to connect and just move and express it, but few and far between are those people. And actually, those are the people that one either trigger the hell out of us or we're attracted to and we go,

I want more of that, forgetting about gender, we could be, oh wow, that guy right there, he's, I feel like I want to be him. Or that woman over there, I feel like I want to be her. Or, oh wow, that woman, she's so attracted, but I can't tell what it is. I mean, I'm not really physical him or that woman over there. I feel like I want to be her or wow that woman. She's so attractive, but I can't tell what it is. I mean, I'm not really physically, but there's something there.

This is because there are people who are expressing their authenticity. They're unafraid to be themselves. And the thing that we value inherently more than anything without even knowing it is a person who is unapologetically themselves. Now, that doesn't mean in their ego going like, I'm unapologetically myself because I feel like

I should be this, this, and this, and I'm gonna be this, right, it's not identity driven. On the contrary, it's soul expression driven. It's who you are. It is the fullest expression without fear. Give us an example of the difference. So the difference, so you have kids, right? Yeah.

How old are they? 10 and eight. Okay, remember when they were under five years old. Yes. Okay. Do you remember when they were not afraid to cry? They were not afraid to yell. They were not afraid to poop when they needed to.

When they say, when they were hungry, they didn't, they go and go, oh, maybe I should fast for a little bit or maybe I, they followed their body. They were seamlessly in their input, expression, unfiltered, and things changed when they hit six or seven years old. Not only did their brain waves change, but their ego came online. Because under six or seven years old, your children were fully conscious observers

of their experience. The things that we wanna be, the things that all of these sages and relics over time have say, this is enlightenment, your children were enlightened when they were born, you weren't enlightened when you were born. Before the age of seven, when you went out there and you saw a succulent, you stared at the succulent because it was so beautiful. There was no judgment. You just were seeing it for what it was. When you met people,

you were seeing them for who they are. No judgment, no stories, no identities. As we get older, around six or seven, our brainwaves change. And that's for a reason. And I'll get to that in a moment. But our brain waves change and all of a sudden our ego comes online and now this is when our kids want to become autonomous. This is when they say, no, mom, I want to wear this and I want to cross street myself. No, leave me. I'll do it and you can't do this yourself.

Hold on. When their personalities really come online. Now, that's not a bad thing. We actually need to have this human experience moving away from that enlightened state so we can come back to and remember who we are, right, as we get older. But early on, your child and you knew exactly the little boys, you have two boys? A girl and a boy. A girl. The girl and the boy and you when you were younger, the girl that you needed to be for your mom and dad. And so much of emotional repression begins at home in our tribe.

Mom and dad are whoever's raising you. Yeah. And it comes around safety, and I know you had Gabbo or Mate on this. And he's on to something. He knows what he's talking about, because it is safety. It's all about safety. Can I allow myself to be the fullest expression of myself in this household? Most people, the answer is absolutely not,

because most parents haven't dealt with their own emotional repression and they're dealing with generational trauma. So that generational trauma is only perpetuated by the way they express or not express themselves in the household. So for example, when you were a kid, let's say this is just theoretical, when you were a kid, you got angry, there was no problem, right? You wouldn't care to throw a tantrum in the middle of the mall, right? Because you felt it and it was real for you. I'm so looking for you. I'm just doing it in care, right? But children, they can fully express themselves be, not even care about being unseen. Now, let's say when your

ego comes online six or seven years old, fully, you know, the little boy you need to be or little girl you need to be, you see dad come in the house, right? And he was never taught by his dad how to handle his anger. He was never taught by his mom to come into his heart to actually access his femininity and be softer. And he was never taught by himself to just check all his stress from work at work, but no, he brings everything at home.

And then he comes in and you can feel his energy as a kid all the way up to the bram. It only takes one thing to make him snap on your mom. And then all of a sudden they're arguing. And his anger is scary because when he blows up, he's holding in his dad's stuff. He had all the way up to the bram. It only takes one thing to make him snap on your mom. And then all of a sudden they're arguing. And his anger is scary because when he blows up, he's holding in his dad's stuff. All the trauma from his dad and mom,

it comes out on your mom. And then we see that expression. So what happens to your expression of the anger? If you see when dad comes home, he's expressing his anger and mom is in fear. Our mom is crying. Is it safe for you to express your anger? The answer's gonna be no.

So all of a sudden what we do as children is we lower that volume on our anger. The you that was exploding in the middle and throwing a tantrum, all of a sudden in the 10 out of 10 becomes a 8 out of 10. Maybe a 6. Maybe it's fully silenced. So now when you authentically want to express your anger, you sacrifice that authenticity for survivability of the tribe. And this is essentially what happens in every household. I have yet to meet someone sit with me and go, I've had the best parents, they were fully supportive. My dad sat with me and he was fully emotionally open, right? We connected, he held me, he supported me, my mom.

Wow, what a role model. She was able to show her anger and her sadness. She's such a powerful woman. Like she is like the full expression of the feminine and the masculine balance. You never hear that. On the contrary, you hear, no, you know, my dad, he was really angry and my mom, she was bipolar and all these things.

But what happens is when we are having that emotion coming up and we want to express it, but it's not safe, we compensate. And that compensation comes up and it changes everything. Because now, although suddenly you that wants to express your anger authentically, but can't because it's not safe, that expression becomes the things in medicine. We call anxiety, addictions, OCDs. That's not the problem. None of those are the problem.

And we have treatment centers for all of them. And we have medications for all of them. We even have supplements for all of them. But that's not the problem. Those are the compensations, the protection to the deeper root. And the deeper root is you not being and feeling safe enough to express that emotion because it's so unwitnessable and unlovable. And that's where most people of today are and that's the reason why most people today

are sick. Wow. So you're saying that it all actually begins with emotional repression and that causes mental health issues and physical health issues. So I want you to think about it, and I know I cut you off, but I really just want to go ahead. Listener and viewer, hear this. If you think of a fountain head,

and then it's running down a stream, right? The fountain head, all the water, and then it's running down a stream. The closest area, the closest field to the fountain head, is going to be the mental health field. Down past that field further away is the physical health field. These are manifestations. If you have emotional repression, the first thing you're going to start seeing is mental health issues. Then you start seeing the physical, but your body is always talking to you on what it needs to do to heal.

We've so disconnected from our body that we don't even know what to do to heal. This is how disconnected we are. We're in our heads so much in our ego because it's trying to protect us from the pain that we've been repressing since we were children. So then what's the first step? Also, you don't know what you don't know, right? Right, right. But the irony is that you do know everything, right? Right? Right. This becomes a whole other, right? Right. Because the philosophical part here. But you do know everything and it doesn't have to be that philosophical because when we say I only know what I know, you're talking from logic, right? Like I'm not a therapist,

and therapy is great in the sense of, it'll show you there's a tree, but it's never gonna get to the root. This is why people have the therapist, and they go, I finally realized it. I was molested when I was eight years old, and that's why I have intimacy issues with my partner. Okay, does your intimacy issues go away?

Do you, or maybe you can communicate better, but if the trauma's still in your body, every single time your partner tries to have sex with you, your body's gonna contract and close. This is a deeper conversation, so. Hold on, that's a very good point. So this is basically what I always say to people in general. It's like I can intellectually know why I do the things I do,

but that doesn't change the behavior or change my pattern. Of course. That's what, and that's where, that's the stop is in the start, right? Good, so now I'm knowledgeable enough. That's why for me, therapy is very difficult because like, I already understand like my brain works in that way

where I understand why I do the things I do understand. Like my brain works in that way where I understand why I do the things I do or this, okay, then what? This is exactly true. This is why you can't heal emotions through talking. You can't heal, I'm gonna say that again. For viewers and listeners, you cannot heal your emotions through talking. You will feel better, but you won't heal.

You'll feel better because you're seen and you're heard finally. You have someone holding space for you and you can finally express the things that you needed to get off your chest or you can have the realization that you think you needed. But ironically, your body doesn't care. Your body only cares if you're holding in

a repressing emotion or you're expressing. Because it would be silly if I'm sitting here with an open wound on my knee and going, you see this wound? This wound really cares about an eighth grade when I was teased in front of the class. The wound doesn't care. The wound cares only if I'm picking the scab. Am I picking it or not, right?

And we do that. We pick the scab over and over and over. And how do we do it? By not allowing ourselves to feel and express. So you go back to your question, what's the first step? What do we do? My God, we need to reconnect with our body.

Every single person, there's few people who are actually connected to their body, right? Because we love living in our ego. We love living in logic. That's why we love talking so much. Somebody, listen to my problems. Finally, I'm seeing that I'm hurt. Good, we're appeasing the logic, the ego, but that doesn't heal the body.

So we have to come into our body. That doesn't mean sitting down in meditation and leaving your body and going to the spiritual ethereal realm. This isn't about spiritual right now. although spiritual has a huge part in healing. This is about the somatic, your body. The most disconnected thing that we are is from our body, because we love living in that balloon that's floating away, ungrounded. We think and think and think and think and then we question what we're thinking and then

we keep thinking more of that question that will be the question, right? So exactly what I tell people is, hey, you need to stop first and foremost. You need to just stop put your phone down, right? Put the note pad down, put all the things down and take a moment and slow down first and foremost. You have to slow down. You have to have to have to slow down. Even if you even if you got to get out in the rush, you have to slow down. You have to have to have to slow down. Even if you got to get out in the rush,

you have to walk slower. Take time, be intentional. First and foremost, to begin to feel like what mindfulness may feel like in the body. But ultimately, you got to connect your body. That means this is what I tell like my busy clients. Hey, look, you're a single mother, you got kids. When you're in the shower, feel your feet. When you're in the shower, feel your knees, feel your hips,

feel your body just begin to feel your body. Ironically, so many people go, oh my God, I can't believe how much pain I have in my body. I haven't even, my back's been in pain for years and I didn't even know it. That's how good we are at moving away from physical pain. Now, imagine emotional pain that are more subtle. We stand our head to move away from that pain. So when you come into your body, you notice where you're tense, where you have pain, where you have tingling, where you might feel off, right? Where it feels good. These are all things that is one-on-one to being a human.

One-on-one. We do all the things like where we want to eat all the best foods and get the best sleep and do the best workouts, but my God, nobody is embodied. Nobody. It's essential for us to get into best sleep and do the best workouts, but my God, nobody is embodied, nobody. It's essential for us to get into our body and reconnect and reconcile that relationship with the body that you had when you were a kid. But how, like even now, you say, like take a moment, whatever, and feel your body or feel whatever.

Okay, so if I'm just like sitting here with you, there's a feel your feet, I don't feel anything. Right, because you are so used to being in your head. Yeah. And that's protection and that's okay. You've protected yourself for so long to move away from your own body, because you can't even feel your feet. But when I work with clients, for example, the first step is having them lay down and me going through a sequence so they can feel their body. Most people fall into safety in their body.

Most people, some people are so much in their head when I could see when they're talking to me in the beginning and when they walk in, that it's really difficult to keep them in their body because they're so scared. Essentially, the analogy I gave is like, we're going into a cave, but you're descending. I'm only giving you the light

and I'm showing it from my helmet. But the ego is a tour guide saying, you don't go down there. It's going to be very unsafe, right? So some people are ready and they go, you know what? It's easy for me to go down here. Whatever. I can go on my body. I do yoga. I dance. I can feel my body pretty well. Other people are so cerebral, like me. Seemingly like you. That it takes work. It takes work for us to just feel like the surface under us, right? People who've gone through trauma, who've dissociated, it takes a ton of work to come into the body, right? Because we're so safe in our head,

that's the only place where we can numb ourselves. But the truth of the matter is, we'll never heal in our head, ever. We have to go into our body and start feeling what's there and allowing the body to do what it best, and that's heal. Okay, so people who are cerebral like us, to our body and start feeling what's there and allowing the body to do it at best in that deal. Okay, so people who are cerebral like us, and I say, okay, you stay feel your feet whatever.

I don't feel my feet. Is it more of a thing where it's practice, if I keep on trying to do it, or is it like if I just don't give up after two minutes, like, my body? Exactly, you will, you will. And this is what I tell people, this is an everyday thing, right?

And again, one-on-one, it's not even like, oh, I'm going to add it to my routine. It's one on one on being a human being. You eat, you poop, you feel your body, right? Because kids do that. If you want a role model on how to be healthy, look at your kids, right? Look at them running around, look at them expressing, look at them fearing their body. Until it's until, yeah, so when they're under six or seven years old, right? But if you do that, if you take five, six, seven minutes a day, you know what I do?

I wake up in the morning, I get up, I put my feet on the ground, and then I go lay down somewhere. And I actually feel my body, right? And I feel, and I go feel my toes and I feel my knees, and I will feel if I'm holding tension. And then I know what things mean in the body. So on the upper left part, my belly, I know fear is there. I know for me, it's very true, but for most people, fear is there.

But that's where I hold a lot of fear, right? So my body's never tense except there. And I go, okay, if it's really tense, I go, I'm in fear of something. Maybe I'm in fear that today's going to be overwhelming. Maybe I'm in fear of a story that I'm not good enough. Something is here, right? But also, I do, I breathe. I push on there. I breathe, right? I sound out the sound of the fear. What does it sound like here, right? For me, it might be, right? Or it might be screaming, right? I connect my voice to that tension and I begin to feel it move and open up. And that's easy because we want to know why? We know how to do it. It's inherent in our body. Is there different things like where do we hold the case? So if you're saying we're repressing our emotions, where are we holding them? And is there like a connection like for example, if you feel like you know how they do this in like in Chinese medicine?

Like if you like meridians and all that, like, for example, if you're, if you feel something in your foot, that means it's, or whatever, it's your kidney, whatever, that means you have this problem. Is it the same? Like, if I have a gut problem, does that mean I have anger I'm dealing with? Or is that duke-duke connection? It's a great question. Traditional Chinese medicine is the wisdom medicine. It's been around for thousands and thousands of years. And they've connected a lot of emotions to different parts of the body.

And in my experience, they were absolutely correct. There's different things that I don't agree with yet because I've seen in my experience different. But let's break it down, right? So oftentimes, I say a lot of women, most women are disconnected from their voice. Most women are taught to talk from their chest, right? This is where I'm supposed to talk versus their power

and their belly, right? And this is why when you yell at kids from your chest, they don't listen or your dog, right? Because they don't feel the energy coming from your power. If you yell, hey, don't do that, the kid'll stop. And the dog will stop, right? Yeah. But this is where we're taught, especially women. So if you have tension or tightness in

your throat, or you say sometimes when I'm emotional, my throat lumps up, it gets really tight. Or sometimes I really want to say something to my husband, but my throat lumps up. That's a protective mechanism, but that's just the repression of your own voice, your own truth. Hey, I don't like when you do that. Here's my boundary. I love you, but here's my boundary. That's too scary. That's too scary. There's a lot of tension in the chest, and oftentimes this comes up a lot with clients, especially men. It's because we're not allowed to show what's in our chest, and what's in our chest is our emotion of vulnerability and sadness, of course, as you think, right? So most men have a lot of expression when it starts peeling. They show a lot of anger in the than what's in our chest is our emotion of vulnerability and sadness, of course, as you think, right?

So most men have a lot of expression when it starts peeling. They show a lot of anger in the beginning because why society accepts that. It's lovable, it's fine. No man can be angry, but hold on, a man can't cry. A man can't, we can't as a society, especially as women. We can't hold a man's anger or sadness, right? So oftentimes it peels into that layer and it's very powerful to see a man let go and feel seen in his tears. Now the belly is one of the most intriguing parts, one of my favorite parts.

If you have gut issues and you've done everything, you've done all the diets, all the poop tests, all the pancreatic enzymes, all the bitters, all the GI doctors, all the colonoscop everything. If you've done everything and you kinda got better, but stuck at like 70% and not better, then there's an emotional component, especially if you've been healing for years. And it's crazy for me when I talk to people and like, they're like, I'm on this healing journey with my gut.

I'm like, well, how long has it been? And they're like, eight years, I'm like, and you ain't healed yet? What's happening? Because your healing is not inaccessible. Your healing is accessible today, especially if there's an emotional component, which oftentimes there always is.

So the fascia of the belly, when it's contracted, holds in a lot of emotion. TCM was right, traditional Chinese medicine, the liver holding in anger. Oftentimes, it only takes when a person's getting built up in anger, just a little push in that area, and it's activated and they're expressing. Usually the upper left side holds fear, right?

And traditional Chinese medicine was right. That's a spleen area, the kidney area, right? Lower part, I find that there's a lot of that's powerlessness. I felt powerlessness in my life. When I wanted to speak my truth, I couldn't because I was repressed or my dad would make my fear to him a lot or my mom, I feared her a lot, powerless. Where was that area? And really under the belly button. Got it, okay. Now we come to the root. I'm going to talk about the womb.

For me, when I see in my experience, the womb is the deepest emotional repression for women, deepest, and men for the root. And it's mostly shame around your sexuality. Sexual repression, because culture, society, your parents never held your true impulse of sexuality. We're all sexual beings. It would be silly not to say that. Just like we're hungry, we're sexual.

Just like we're thirsty, we're sexual. And society has such a taboo around allowing, especially a woman, to say, I'm a sexual being, you know? And to embody that, that doesn't mean I'm a sexual being and I must express it to every man that I see or every person that I see. It's more, I'm a sexual being and look at me. I'm a powerful woman. I'm aligned with my sexuality and sensuality. So the womb is what it when it's all said and done is usually the last part where it holds the most amount of emotion. Shame and guilt are usually in the womb. But if there's a molestation, a rape,

a miscarriage, any surgery in the womb area, there's usually sadness, anger, and fear that is expressed there. It's not usually there, but there's usually another layer. Wom healing is one of the most powerful things I've ever seen, one of the most powerful medicines I've ever seen, and I've done all the ayahuascas, all the mushrooms.

When a woman, I'm gonna tell you a story, and I know I'm saying a lot, but this is important. This was a woman yesterday. She came to me, and this is not the first time, but she came to me with this picture. She had an ectopic pregnancy, infertility. She was overweight. She gained, I think she's at 90 pounds in two years,

overweight. She had gut issues, and it was a mess, right? And she came to me, she was super emotional because she's like, I don't know what to do. I've been to every endocrinologist, fertility doctor. I did IVF twice, it failed, I don't know what to do and I can't have a baby. I knew what was gonna happen.

As soon as she laid down, I connected to her body, I knew exactly what part of her womb was the actopic pregnancy. And she didn't tell me I put my hand right on it and she started getting emotional because she knew she knew I knew right and then this emotional experience started and immediately, immediately she felt this boulder in her womb exactly where my hand was and she had a she said I had a vision at the end. She like doctor she had a vision of a boulder I saw it and I put

my hand on that part and I started pushing down and I asked her what emotion is there. You know, we were breathing and going through this process and she's fear. Well, she was molested. She was molested at nine years old and she was raped.

First time she had sex with her partner, her boyfriend, you know. So she's had people men cross her boundaries and I'm pushing on there and this. Oh my God, Like I swear it shook the house that we did it and this sound came out of her and I knew that it was everything was moving. All the pain that she's been holding since she was first molested at six seven years old. Since she was first molested that all moved up. And it was long and loud and long. And you know that the sound wasn't coming from her chest,

wasn't coming from her throat, it was coming from deep in the pits of her pain. And it came out. And it came out completely and then there was a, and I felt her womb just open under my hands. This woman, Mark my words, this woman is gonna get pregnant. This woman is going to lose all the weight, that protection that she's been holding.

I know this because she's not the first time I've seen this exact thing happen and that lady got pregnant immediately a month later. So this is what I'm talking about. Do you see where I'm going with this? Yeah, so basically you're saying that with this emotional repression, once it's actually released, these emotions are actually released. They're actually released in a physical way. It's not just, that's what you meant by when you said you can't just talk your way through it. You have to actually go through the process and you mentioned to me that I wanted to ask you, which is like ayahuasca, right? Can you have the same type of healing emotionally by doing ayahuasca? And I'll tell you, I'll tell you why. So I went on this ayahuasca retreat.

Did I ever tell you about this? I was gonna go, I was gonna go with you. Yeah, you were gonna go with me. I was gonna, and then I think COVID happened or something and it fell apart. It was right before COVID. It was like a month before COVID. Yeah, we were gonna go.

And I took my sister with me. And I did the ayahuasca. Did I not tell you what happened? No. So I did it. And I was stone-cold sober. I was the only one out of the entire group. Nothing happened to me.

You know how they put you all in that room? Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Okay, well, I took my two cups, like I was supposed to the first night and the second and the third. It was like a four-night extravaganza, which was not my cup of tea or not my cup of ayahuasca, I should say.

And I'm not joking. I took two cups every night, like prescribed, sitting up there, everybody around me was barfing and I'm shitting and crying and screaming. It's a scene. And I was literally miserable, because I'm like, nothing is happening to me and I'm now stuck in this room with all of these people.

And they wouldn't let me go back to my room. Right, and you were just sitting there, I would see there's no cold sober. Wow. And so they were saying to me, it's because you're so strong-minded that you won't let yourself get go there. And I'm thinking, maybe,

or maybe this is just a load of shit, like I don't know. Right. What is your take on that then? Does that mean? I would partially agree with what they said. If you want me to look at you and like, I don't know. Right. You know, what is your take on that then? Does that mean? I would partially agree with what they said. If you want me to look at you and like, I can feel it. I feel you very, very cerebral and very protected against the pain that you hold in your body.

There's pain in your body, I can feel it. Really? You can feel it. You can feel it sitting here. Well, I talk to people every single day before we do an emotional release, but before we do an emotional healing, right? So you grow a sense of seeing sort of how people express and what they're holding in.

Seriously, yes. But you have a great ability to be here, which is why you're able to build such an amazing brand and podcast and have a beautiful house and team. Like you've done a lot with the ego, right? But I believe there's so much more you can do with your body, too, right? Really? So, because think about it, ayahuasca is fucking strong.

Strong! Strong! It took me, it took me, I did less than everyone, I did half a little shot, and I was, by the time we finished the circle, by the time we didn't even finish the circle, I go, it's happening. Like, I was already like 20 minutes before everyone on an Iowaska land in the building. Really?

Yeah, but I believe it's yes, you are strong mind and I feel that I feel you're really heavy. Or maybe just, it wasn't, it was perfect for you. Maybe you were to witness everyone having that experience. Maybe that's exactly what you needed. Yeah, okay, so. And very frustrated because I'm like, they wouldn't, I felt like it was such a sham, basically, right?

Cause I'm like, what is going on? Or did I just have zero trauma that I was just like not in the space to like, that was just the wrong thing for me? Maybe, or maybe you needed to be one on one or something, right? I think they admire it. Yeah, the environment wasn't good for you. So no, the only reason I was asking, cause you're like, you've done everything.

And I wanted to know like, and why I brought up the ayahuasca was because it is a physical release, similar to what you're talking about. Yeah, I think ayahuasca has the ability for people to release emotions because although they're kind of out of their body, they're in ayahuasca land.

And if you, if anyone who's done ayahuasca, you know what I'm talking about, you are in the ethereal, no ego, no self, no anything. I mean, listen, given the people what I was seeing in front of me, you have no ego and no self. Right, right. But those are beautiful healing mechanism in the body because I've done one mushroom ceremony I did.

I was out, I did a lot, and I was out, and I was having this beautiful, conscious observation experience, and then when I came back to my body, I came back to me with tears coming down my eyes saying, I remember, I remember, I remember. But I don't, I wasn't saying it was very weird. It was like my body was saying, I remember, but I was not with my body. You weren't going to body out. I've never experienced anything like that.

So I do think that there's ability to really release a lot of those demons that you have. The issue is this. This is the biggest issue. When people are doing psychedelics, right? How many people go to an eye, eye wasca ceremony and they come back into the same person three months later? I'm glad that you just said that. So what I was going to say is what I was going to say is even with mushrooms and all that I've done that too, I like mushrooms actually because in the moment I can feel it, but the difference is, this is what, and is that it's not a long, I don't feel that there is really,

that doesn't really last, there's no longevity to it. Like even these eye-op people who I was with on this ayahuasca journey, and there were people who are deeply, like had deep trauma, but they have the, it's not like they do it once and they're healed forever.

They have to keep on going back and doing it. It doesn't just release in their finds. Maybe some people do. Right, and do you wanna know why? Yeah. So this is my take on it. Psychedelics are one of the most powerful medicines out there. Okay.

But if you do it and you have an experience and you go, oh, that was crazy. Like I saw like my darkest demons and my lightest light and I'm going to forever, I'm going to open up a nonprofit, I'm going to save the world, right? Right. Then people come back and they go back into their ego. It's because they haven't expressed or fully witnessed the emotion. You have to witness the emotion.

You can't just cry, you can't just cry and then go emotion or release. You have to witness the part of you that is sad. You have to witness the part of you that is sad. You have to witness the part of you that is in deep anger. You have to witness the part of you that is in deep. What do you mean? How do you... So what that means and this is why I believe that this is the most powerful approach to healing. Because when you're working with someone and they're having the experience sober, sober, they're having to feel everything they need to feel. They're having to see and express everything they need

to express sober, right? Big difference, right? Because they're feeling it, they're feeling every inch of pain in their body. And they might happen with people I wasca, but not everyone. Everyone who has the ability and capacity to remember in that moment, holy shit,

this is how powerful my voice is. Holy shit. This is how powerful my voice is. Holy shit, this is how powerful my emotions are. Oh my God, this is, oh my God, my dad, this is what I wanted to say. And then it moves and it moves and then they get to witness who they really are. After you release an emotion, you come back to a part of you

that has been under an iron blanket for 20 years, 30 years, 40 years, right? Oftentimes after an emotional release, people will be like, oh my God, I feel like so light. Is this how I'm supposed to feel? Or, oh my God, I feel so clear. Oh my God, I feel so grounded. I feel so inspired.

I feel love. I feel love again. I can feel love again. I feel so grateful. These are words that people hear, but it's not because they're just experiencing that feeling. It's not necessarily a feeling. And it's them.

They're experiencing a part of them and why? It's because to be and embody the full spectrum of who you are, you have to go through the darkest dark to witness your lightest light. And it's proportional. You can't just go, and this is why all the self-help books out go, love yourself. And you go, what the fuck does that even mean? Right? Love yourself. They're not telling you, fuck does that even mean? Love yourself. They're not telling you, oh, also, feel your darkest anger.

Feel your darkest fear, your darkest grief, shame, guilt, repression of your sexuality. To feel your highest joy, love, happiness, gratitude, elation, expression. You can't do with one and without the other. And we, as a human race, live in this spectrum where we're only right in the middle. We're too afraid to go too dark and we're absolutely too afraid to be big and go too light. So we live in the middle and we go, well, I feel like I need to see Dr. J for a motion race because I don't know. Something is off.

You know what's off. You're not being you. That's what's off. That's the biggest thing. The reason why people are suffering because you're not being you, because you're too scared to be you. Actually, on a deeper level, you don't even know who you is, but you do know who you is, because you're not connected to your body, because when you're connected with your body,

your body will absolutely show you the more you connect with the body, exactly who you are, because you'll be able to heal and heal and heal and express those emotions, so you can come into touch with who you are, your full capacity, and then you embody that. Then you give people permission to be that. What a gift. The biggest healers in the world are the people who are themselves, because they give the people the gift to be themselves. I want to take a quick break from this episode

to thank our sponsor, Therasage. Their trilite panel has become my favorite biohacking thing for healing my body. It's a portable red light panel that I simply cannot live without. I literally bring it with me everywhere I go, and I personally use their red light therapy to help reduce inflammation in places in my body where honestly I have pain. You can use it on a sore back, stomach cramps, shoulder, ankle. Red light therapy is my go-to. Plus, it also has amazing anti-aging benefits, including

reducing signs of fine lines and wrinkles on your face, which I also use it for. I personally use therasage tri-light everywhere and all the time. It's small, it's affordable, it's portable, and it's really effective. Head over to Therasage.com right now and use code B-BOLD for 15% off. This code will work sight-wide. Again, head over to Therasage, THER, ASAGE.com, and news code BeBold for 15% off any of their products. So I have a question.

So if I think I'm pretty authentic, I've been told, but yet if I still have, as you say, a lot of repression emotionally, am I being authentic, not the real authentic me? Well, not a good question, it's a good question, right? I mean, it's just like a persona of my authenticity. I love the way you think. It's one thing to say I am authentic in my identity. So, it's like me going like people love identifying.

This is how we make sense of the world. And this is because we desperately look for who we are, because we're so disconnected from our body, our ego and our head looks at identity. So I can go, well, this is my community, and I'm more like this, so now I know who I am. Now I can be authentic in who I am, right? That ain't true. That ain't true,

because who you are has nothing to do with communities, sex, gender, family, job. It has nothing to do with the way you dress, it has nothing to do with the way you dress, it has nothing to do with the way you talk, it has nothing to do with language, it has nothing to do with all of that, it has to do with the embodiment, even without language, even without clothes, even without gender, it has to do with the embodiment of who you are. So what that means is this, authentic authenticity in ego will keep you running in a tornado

trying to find yourself the rest of your life. Authenticity with who you are, meaning allowing yourself without fear, without fear to express, you know what? I'm fucking angry man. I this podcast not go the way that I wanted it to go. And you know what? I feel like I feel like I need to go into that back room and all right let that out. Let it move. Let it move. Let it. Ah, okay, now I feel better. I allowed my anger, instead of me going, that podcast didn't go the way that I wanted it to go,

I'm gonna go for a walk, and maybe the walk is just gonna quiet, and I'll finally just find some peace in my walk. The walk didn't do anything, the walk just quieted and suppressed that emotion. I need to express that anger, right? Now, it's not just anger, it's every emotion. So authenticity doesn't have to mean like you

and me are at the supermarket and I'm mad and I throw a tantrum in the middle of supermarket, like a 38 year old baby, right? But it means if I'm pissed off that I allow myself the space to hold myself with myself to express that emotion wherever it is in my car, in my sacred space at home. Like what, you just start screaming in the car? Well, yeah, well, there's ways to express that energy, right? But you can't just scream from your chest.

That has to come from your belly. But how do you know? How do people know how, if they don't have the luxury of seeing you, what on one? Because you connect to your body. This is back to square one. If you're connected with your body, you will know exactly what you're holding in.

If I'm your partner and I say something rude to you, and you're like, oh, my identity is so easy and flowy and I don't take offense to things, then you're gonna trust and believe that you're not taking offense to it. But your body could say something completely different. Your liver, the fascia around your liver could tighten up so much, right?

That you all of a sudden you go, I don't know, I feel like I just really tight, okay? And then you eat dinner and you're like, I feel so bloated, I don't know why. It's because you didn't allow that anger that you felt coming out of you because I might have reminded you of your dad or your uncle or someone.

And the thing that I said to be expressed, you see what I'm saying? The body's always looking for, this is, it's hard. I keep going though, I like what you're saying. The body is always looking and has the ability to heal, right? When we look at a physical wound, we don't think twice about the wound healing. We don't think twice. Body is always looking and has the ability to heal, right? When we look at a physical wound, we don't think twice

about the wound healing. We don't think twice. We actually kind of know what happens in the body, right? The mechanisms and science, or how a clot forms and what happens. But we never think about the emotional healing. Why do angry people attract angry people? It's because the body...

The man in the legs company does what they say. It's because the body is calling in somebody of that exact frequency to trigger them exactly how they need to be triggered for them to express exactly what they need to express. To go past that egoic protection of the anxieties, or I don't do this, or I'm a really more quiet person, I can't express this, or the OCDs, or the addictions that start coming up, for it to move past it so I can fully express that anger. So, for example, you know, people pleasers. Yes.

They're the most dangerous people to me, right? Really? Why? Because when I see a people pleaser, I see somebody who has a volcano of anger inside of them, and they're so desperately protecting themselves from expressing that anger, that they're so anxious that they have to people please so much, so they don't have to witness or experience anyone else's anger because they can't even hold their own. This is why people please.

So, those people pleasers, we work with them, and we're like, oh, Lisa's such a sweep. Oh my God, she wouldn't got me coffee, I didn't even ask for it. She actually got my mail from the thing, I didn't even ask for it. She actually turned on my computer for me, I didn't know. Okay, great. But then you go on a car ride with Lisa to the other branch of the office, right? She actually got my mail from the thing. I didn't even ask for it. She actually turned out my computer for me on the internet. Okay, great.

But then you go on a car ride with Lisa to the other branch of the office, right? And then all of a sudden there's a flat tire and Lisa has a meltdown. And you're like, Lisa, what the hell? It's just a flat tire, relax. But that flat tire hit her exactly in the perfect tune, in the perfect frequency, to all the anger she had for her mom or her dad or whoever it was when it happened. That she had so much charge in that anger that it went past her protective mechanisms

and she fully embodied that which she needed to heal. So Lisa throwing a tantrum in a bad thing. Lisa throwing a tantrum is actually one of the most healing things that she's expressing. Because finally she's letting go. She's just a fuck that people pleasing. I don't care. I gencies me, I don't care.

I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care, Jen sees me, I don't care. Christian sees me. Lisa is having a meltdown and thank God, Lisa, you are healing. Look at the body healing right there. There you go. You feel so much better, there you go. But is it healed forever?

Just healed for that moment. It depends if she allows the whole volcano to express then it's healed forever. Because normally what I was gonna say is the people pleasers, those are the ones who usually explode. Like they're like great, great, great, great, great. And then they like have this crazy explosion,

you're like, wow, the hell's wrong with that person. And you're like, but then they go back to being a people pleaser. And then, you know what I mean? And it just happens again. It's becomes like a roller coaster. Because they're not having the capacity to one be fully safe and express everything

that's in there and two witness. You have to witness. You have to go holy shit. I'm angry. I am an angry person. Imagine a people pleaser going, I am an angry person. That is blasphemy to a people pleaser. But imagine if the people pleaser goes, hold on, hold on. Maybe I'm protecting myself by people pleasing. Maybe I'm not being real in myself. Okay, well, am I angry? I feel pretty angry. Maybe I'm just an real in myself. Okay, well, am I angry? I feel pretty angry. I maybe I'm just an angry person.

Okay, then all of a sudden that anger, they're allowing themselves to be in their body, they're allowing themselves to witness and say, okay, yes, I am an angry person and I can be angry. And you know what? Fuck that, okay? Fuck that. Oh, all right.

All that energy starts building up, building up, and then they're expressing it with their voice. This is how you have long-term healing. That doesn't mean this person will never get angry again. Of course, we're human beings, but it means that their anger is not gonna be disproportionately repressed or expressed. Okay, so then give me some other examples

of different things that may other either personality disorders, mental health issues or other kinds of people, personalities that usually are a paradox of what we're seeing. Yeah, I mean like, and not to over generalize, but like there are overachievers, right? And overachievers are, to me, the hardest ones to connect to the deep repressed emotions. I worked with a billion dollar CEO, okay? And there was very clearly repressed emotions. Now, when you have a trauma in the household,

when you have a trauma in the household, and you have siblings, and let me rewind for a second, I want to tell you when I realize this. I had this girlfriend once, right? And I went to her house from Mother's Day back in 2020, I think. And I heard about her mother. She mentioned the word narcissist by polar, you know?

And I'm very sensitive to energy. And when I got there, I felt her mom, and it was a lot for me even. But then I saw my girlfriend, who was a people pleaser, her sister, who was just a straight-up bitch. And her brother, who had a fantastic sense of humor, but couldn't stop joking. Everything was a joke.

It was an anxious expression of humor. So I see these three and I go, oh my God. Even within siblings, the compensations are different. It doesn't mean that they're all people pleasers. It means that there's different variables at play. Maybe genetic and maybe personality or whatever it is. So back to when you have a trauma in the household, right? One of the most dangerous ones is the compensation of,

okay, let's say for example, that comes home and he's yelling at mom and then mom is crying and I have all this fear. But last time I expressed my fear and I said, I'm scared. My dad said, hey, you're a big boy, you can't be scared. You're a big boy. No more scared. Tuff it up, right? And you're like, right? So all of a sudden that energy of that fear that you can't express because it's not allowed to be expressed at home. You go run to your room and you open your homework and you start doing your homework, right? So now all of a sudden that becomes a chain of events. Every time you're scared,

you open up your homework. Every time you're scared, you read? So now all of a sudden that becomes a chain of events. Every time you're scared, you open up your homework. Every time you're scared, you read a book, and all of a sudden you start achieving in school, and guess what society, your parents say, you did good, right? Over and all of a sudden you're a valedictorian, all of a sudden you raise your first million and then 10 million and you got the CEO

and you're making millions and then billions of dollars, right? And all of a sudden no one ever tells you that maybe you're just deeply scared of your father. And you never made amends with that. Maybe you need to relive that fear that you hold in of your father. So all of a sudden, yeah, you can be a productive member of society, but my God, you don't have to pathologically be working all the time. And that's one of the biggest ones I see. Workaholics is another dangerous one. Workaholics for me are running away from something very painful. So when I see someone always on their phone,

always working, they actually brag about how their outlook calendar looks, right? And I see, you know, they see so much reverence for them on social media that they're like, oh, man, that's the hustle, man, I want to be like that guy, man. He's really doing it or that girl, she's really doing it. For me, I was like, okay, are they doing it from a place of grounded?

Are they expressing, are they fully who they are, or are they running away from something? Most people that are really successful, successful are still deeply in pain. That's a very true. Again, it's about the distractability, right? It's because you use work as a distraction, right? To other things that are working, you know,

that are bothering you. And that can be with that. People, some people use drugs, some people use work. Exactly. Some people use both. So there is no difference between the billionaire CEO and his junkie brother. Right. There's no difference.

There's only difference to society excepts one. Right. Exactly. Right. They still hold the same pain and one compensated a different way than that. Absolutely. So what happens when someone does, like, when you go through this process, right? Do they, do they, does their anxiety go away?

Have you seen, does their OCD go away? Absolutely. I've seen, I've seen social anxiety go away, generalized anxiety go away. I think of a guy just recently, he had a bad trip at Coachella, like in 2019, I think of a guy just recently he had a bad trip at Coachella like in 2019 I think it was and for some reason he when he was having the bad trip His friend like sniffed him and he thought he smelled bad So now he had an OCD about him smelling bad So he would just wash and wash and wash because he couldn't come into men's make a men's with how much fear He was having in that bad trip. Oh my gosh

That was gone that was gone. much fear he was having in that bad trip. Oh my gosh. So that was gone. That was gone. Why? Because he was able to relive the fear of that moment. But after he relived the fear, I remember him very clearly using the words, I feel powerful now. Because all of a sudden that fear that he was holding, that was holding him back from always living in OCD, because he wasn't able to witness that fear.

So the competition of the OCD came up. When he was able to witness that fear, so the competition of the OCD came up. When he was able to witness that fear, feel it, express it, transcend it. Then guess what came in, his power. Oh, he got his power back. And you can hear it in his voice. He just felt different. When he sat up, he was looking at me deeply,

and this was like, there it is. This guy doesn't have OCD anymore. And I know it's a little radical, what I'm saying, but I also know what I see. I've seen I don, gone, but in a month later, zero, and it's never came back. People lose weight, the weight that they've like 15 pounds, 10 pounds that they've been holding for so long. Thyroid numbers changing. I'm following this lady with breast cancer very closely. Two ladies with breast cancer. Mentional issues getting better. Pain, chronic pain has been incredible. Like the testimonies from the chronic pain is like, I've been living with this pain since

my gym accident, gymnast accident when I was 14 years old. It's gone. A man with lower back pain, which was really just guilt because he wasn't there for her mother that died when she was dying. He was another country. The guilt that he was carrying in his lower back was just pain, expressing his pain. And when he expressed that guilt

and finally expressed that guilt, the pain went away. Of course it goes away, because it wasn't structural. It wasn't, he didn't have enough magnesium. It was because this man was living in guilt. So this is what I'm saying. It's physical, it's mental, it's everything. And to think that we in medicine are neglecting this is to me one of the biggest crimes

that we can do to human beings. This is why, like, we're talking so much about like mental health now, we're like, we need to talk more about depression and anxiety. And on for that, this is a wave that is like 20 years behind. But I'm the first one saying this, and I'm riding it. And I'm riding it, I'm leading it, and I'm leading it to people.

That's why we're doing these healing events with 100, 200 people, 300 people, and it's changing the lives. You're doing that big of events. Huge events, where are they? We did one in L.A., we're going to New York, June 17th. Did you, what happens if people come to the event? We do huge event, we do huge emotional race events. Where are they? We did one in L.A. We're going to New York, June 17th. What have is it? People come to the event. We do huge emotional release event.

So it's like a four or five hour event. We have different. And it will stay the same. It's a flow. Well, people do, there's a breathwork section. There's a sound healing section. There's a dance section. There's an anger release section.

And then it culminates with an emotional release. But you know, this is, again, this may sound radical, but it's because people, we're not on it yet, right? We're not on it yet. Mental health was a radical thing to talk about in the 90s, but people are kind of talking about it now. I promise you in 20, 15, 20 years, this will be a thing that like all of a sudden

is gonna become very pop culture, but you're hearing it here first. Wow, it's so interesting. So then, Kay, like, for example, I think I heard you talk about two things what I really like. Number one, you set something on someone, I don't know, on another thing. We said that we sacrifice our authenticity for our survivability, which is so true, right? Like, I believe that. So how do we get back to our authentic self?

Get back to our body. I was getting back to our body. You have to, because there's no way to get back to your authentic self if you're living in your head and your ego. If you're too afraid to witness what's in your body, then you're not going to be able to. Because when we are repressing emotions, those are the things that are, quote, unquote, blocking our authenticity, our full expression of ourselves. But even the emotions are authenticity.

Well, that's the thing. Okay. The other thing is I heard you talk a lot about masculine energy, female energy and sexuality, right? So can you talk a little bit about that here? Yeah, 100%. There is a crazy imbalance that men and women are embodying when it comes to our own inherent energy, right, of masculine feminine.

And I remember I used the words masculine feminine on a post and people went crazy. They're like, how can you say that? You know, like it's not about man and woman and I could say doing and being too. It's the same thing. Yeah. Yeah. I use masculine feminine because it's important to understand. It's important. Yeah. And everyone has a mom and dad. Everyone comes from a mom and dad. Whatever your sexuality choices are, everyone comes from a mom and dad. And polarities are important, very important. Most women are living in a world where they must be in their masculine, all the time in their job. This is what the society has celebrated.

Do, do, do achieve. Can you get that gold medal? Can you get that promotion? Can you get your book signing or whatever, right? All of these things we become masterdoers, especially women, right? Doing, doing, doing without coming back to the, okay, hold on. There's also a flow, a surrender, a receiving, right? That's important to have that balance. A lot of women are in their masculine too much, right? And that doesn't mean I'm saying society can't hold a woman in her mask gun. That's not what I said. I said, most women are pathologically too much in doing

and not enough in being, same with men. Most men, I don't know, you probably had a lot of men sitting in this chair that I'm sitting in right now are pathologically and they're doing and so disconnected from their heart. You know how many times I've had a woman sit in front of me and go, I'll go, how was your relationship with your dad? And they go, well, he was there for me.

I mean, he was like, he provided and he would pick me up from soccer, but like, I'm like, okay, go, did you have an emotional connection? Did he ever say, honey, tell me, sit down. Something's going on with you. I feel it. Tell me what's going on. Open your heart, let's talk.

When how has a dad ever said that? Dads don't really say that unless they have an open heart. Most men, and a bet you a lot of men in the seat, like I said, are so disconnected from their heart and achieving from their head that they're living in the doing. But the real man, the real man is balanced in his masculinity and femininity. That means he can protect with a sword. He can be like, I'm going to protect my village. I'm going to get shit done, but also I'm going to lead from my heart. I'm connected to my heart. I'm connected to people. I'm going to get shit done, but also I'm going to lead for my heart. I'm connected to my heart. I'm connected to people. I'm connected to my heart receiving.

I can receive love and give love. Right? And if you're arguing in relationships over and over, it's not, it's never because the dishes. It's never because the trash. It's because there's an imbalance in your masculine and feminine polarity and there's emotional repression and that person is embodying that which which is triggering you, that needs to be expressed. Biggest reasons.

I noticed this because when I dealt with my emotional repression, my arguments went down and down and down, when I dealt with my connection to who am I as a man, femininity was always easy for me to come to. Right, I always felt comfortable around women. I always can open my heart. I was sensitive. You know, I took a lot about a lot about, like my mom,

like I'd watch a movie and I'd be able to cry. But what I needed to learn was to be a man in my masculine, right? I was a good doer, but what does it mean to hold a woman? What does it mean to connect and accept a woman for everything she is? Most men out here in the world can't hold a woman in everything she is.

And they get uncomfortable when a woman is expressing sadness or anger or even her own sexuality. Oh my God. Do you think men in society can hold a woman in all her sexuality? No, on the contrary, we sluts shame them, right? This is what we do when a woman is trying to express her true sexuality. So of course, women are so repressed, but it's a lot of the time because society's structure, but also men aren't man enough to hold a true woman, and that's what a boy is down to. So then you also say, like, do you think that we, we, what do we attract?

So if you say something like, if I have a masculine energy, I'll attract more of a feminine energy. Yeah, this is the part. Or is that one better would? Because I feel, I think, I think, I mean, I only can use myself as an example here, so I'm going to do it. But like, I believe I would have more of a masculine energy than a female energy, because of everything you just described and said.

But yet, I seem to attract a lot of very masculine, like alpha guys. As partners? Both. I mean, who I actually get along with is actually much more the non-alphas. That's my better studed partner. But I do seem to end up without, I do end up with alphas along.

Yeah, which, so it's like my husband's very type A, very alpha. So I'm sure and I'm sure you guys can accomplish anything in the world, right? If you say you're mine too. But I don't know your personal life, but I'm sure that there's a lot of clashes due to the masculinity. There are a lot of clashes due to the masculinity. There's a lot of clashes. Because... Sorry, but it's true.

In the polarity of the man and the woman, right? And this is generally speaking, and everyone has their own balance, right? Yeah. Me, I'm inherently probably just like 50-50, maybe 51% feminine, right? A little, just a little bit more. Okay, very feminine. Right, yeah. But I just a little bit more. Okay, very feminine. Right, yeah. But I guess you're done too.

But the same was gonna say, but also very masculine. Yeah, yeah. You do have a, your hybrid is very unique. I don't see it often. Yeah, well, that's because I've done a lot of heal. Yeah. And I would hope more men can balance their masculine feminine, you know, in some way.

Yeah. But most men are toxic or wounded masculine. I won't even say that wounded men. Yeah, right? Wounded masculine and so disconnect from their heart or Super passive and they're so scared to just make plans or assert themselves, right? So for you Those are the kind I can't stand. It's right. Right. Of course patients. Of course because because that is the opposite polarity of you But I wonder yeah wonder what would it look like in a relationship if all of a sudden you just surrendered a little and gave the masculine

some space to lead, some space to assert and say, you know what, I'm going to let you take care of this. I'm going to say, oh yeah, do I do it all the time? Well good, then you guys have found something that works for you. Oh, actually, now that I think about it, is it possible that you can seem very, have a masculine energy, but really, and not have that masculine? Well, if you can turn it.

I don't really have, I think like in certain things you have, I have it, but in real life, I don't have it. Well, if you can turn, if you have the ability to turn it off, right? Like, let's say you're done with your habits and your hustles and you're printing out stuff and your book stuff and your calls and when you're with your husband, you can go. I know he's got, I'm going to do stuff, of course, like maintain household too, but I know that if shit needs to go down, he's got it, right? I can surrender. He's assertive enough to go, babe, don't worry, I got this.

Let me plan it. You're doing too much, let me plan it, right? Can your husband, is he even allowing himself to step up? Okay, wait, so this is I think where it gets confusing. What is your definition of a masculine energy versus female energy? Because what I think, I'm referring to, to is mostly more like alpha alpha, who like, for example, my husband get like,

he's like a super big go getter and he's very capable and he can get everything. He's like, he gets a lot of shit done. He's not someone, but I wouldn't be able to be with anybody who's not like that. Right, so then I ask you, I ask you this question. I meant more like more of a quiet type. But no, no, no, no, it's not about the personality, it's about the energy, with the expression. Yeah, I think that's what that, yeah. So then I ask can your husband also stop?

Be, receive, open his heart. Those are aspects of his feminine. That's more feminine, right? Yeah. Those are aspects of his feminine that probably could be cultivated if I'm just guessing, right? Because most men can.

Yeah. So just like aspects of yours, because you have a lot of masculine energy too, right? They can be cultivated. I notice that a lot of women who have a lot of masculine energy and don't allow their true being or their feminine to come up to, they have a lot of hip tightness, right?

So when they're on the table, I move their hips, and there's a lot of repressed sexuality. Because the feminine is right there in the womb, even if you don't have a womb it's in the root right so that when that's expressed so is the sensuality of a human being right and this is a big thing that we need to talk about men and women are so disconnected from sensuality especially men but women who are more so in that masculine energy are so disconnected from their sensuality their their softness, their

slowness, their intentionality when it comes to sexual expression, right? Because think about it, how many men learn about sex from porn? Probably most. Most, yeah. And think about hips that don't move, right? Hips that are sort of fixed and can only go forward and back. But is that also based on running or having a very tight year for a certain time? You can have a tight year, but there's also a massive emotional component to tighten it.

I just mentioned the guy who had a lower back spasm and pain. Totally, yeah. Of course, of course. If this guy's doing bleacher runs every day and not doing anything, then of course, and anytime I have my calf tight from boxing, I don't say it's emotional oppression in my calf. I know, you know the difference, but also if you're taking care of yourself, I don't say, oh, it's emotional oppression in my calf, right? I know, I know, you know the difference. But also, if you're taking care of yourself and things are chronically there, then that's

a problem. Totally. So at these events that I do, I'll watch, especially watch men, because most of the time women drag the men to these events. Yes, of course. And they're kind of about it in the beginning. You know, some men are just right from the get go. They're like, I'm fucking letting go.

I'm ready for this. But then some men are like, really careful. They're like, this is like a hocus, a hocus, what is this shit? I don't want to be here, right? And then I watch in their first segment of the dancing part, how watch their hips, and they're so tight, and so uncomfortable, and they, I don't do this,

I can tell, I don't dance. Then we do a few more things, and then the second part, I'll watch them, and it's one of the most beautiful things that I see in these events is when I see men finally connecting to their movement of their hips. Because I can tell in that moment they're also connected to the sensuality. Because it'd be silly for us to say that men are just sexual because we're not.

Men actually have a massive piece of sensuality that they're missing. I just put up a few posts and it said, really? Something along the lines it said, like, fellas, sex doesn't always mean intercourse, right? Because, I thought you did that. That's us for sex. We're like, okay, well, let's do this. I'm gonna just penetrate with my masculine energy

in our course, right? Instead of hold on, let's bring a little bit of more femininity to it. My God, it takes a woman, 15 know, 15, 20 minutes to even get going, right? So can we be more intentional, slow, soft, more in our hearts when it comes to intimacy instead of just fucking, right? It's like this is, this isn't, there's so much more to the expression of our sexual energy as men. And you ever see the group show, the group episode about sex? You mean Netflix or? Netflix. I saw that, of course I saw that.

Okay, do you remember the scene? There were a lot of hair. Jaya was on and a bunch of other ones. Yeah, do you remember the scene with the couple that was laying down with Jaya and she was touching them really. Yeah, of course. Yes. And do you remember how his body started spasming? Yeah, I saw. He had tears come He started he had tears come out of his eye So in that moment, I got emotional too because I was like hold on this man all his life thought sex was just Penetration and intercourse and finally today he connected with a part of his sexuality that he didn't even know about just allowing The energetic movement of his, she was rubbing her, she was actually gliding her hand, not even touching them, and his body was shaking.

In that moment, wow, this is what I want for most men, is to connect, hold on, there's more to your sexual energy than just fucking, right? And we need to learn more about it. Because my God, the more you connect to your sexual energy, the more you connect with your creative energy, the more you create with your creative energy, the more you connect to your power.

This is, there's so much healing we have to do as men, and we're like only focused on the doing, and I'm gonna achieve and then start a family and then achieve and take care of the family and then done and then I die. That's not a life-living man. A life-living is being in your purpose, connecting to who you are,

balance that mask and feminine, teaching your children what it is to be a man, teaching your daughter that men are safe, and a man can't have an open heart. That's what it means, like, that's what it is to be a man, teaching your daughter that men are safe, and a man can't have an open heart. That's what it means, like, that's what it is to be a man in this world. I love that. That's a really great note to even end on.

Where do people find more information on you? Oh, yeah. I know I said a lot. You can go to Dr. Dot Gonzalez, G-O-N-Z-A-L-E-Z, on Instagram, the emotional healing website

for virtual group classes. Not one-on-one, virtual group is www.elm.health.elm.elm. We have different classes, we have full body classes. You do what I want. Yeah, I do what I want to do. So we do full agatown, then full body. We do anger release classes, we do womb healing classes. I have a sensuality teacher coming to teach men

and women how to dance with their hips. I have a monk coming on to teach people how to mindfully eat. I have a breathwork eye. I have a sound healing girl. We're just adding them on month by month. These classes, I'm telling you, Elm is already the number one place for emotional healing in the world. It is the number one place for emotional and mental healing in the world. And it will soon be the number one place for emotional mental and physical healing. It is everything that I ever expected and more.

It is the best thing out there for your emotional healing. And I mean it. And I'd also do one-on-one. So that's to my Instagram. You can just go my Instagram, the link in the bio. You went on one in person or one-on-one virtual, depending on your time, your budget, whatever's good for you. Oh my God, you're so, like, just so interesting. Thank you so much for being on this podcast.

I know, listen, I know if you want me to be more motivating, I could be like, Hey, let's do it. We're going to do it. Go to school. Yeah, but I know. But I'm one of those Yahoo's. I heard you're my favorite Yahoo. I love it.

I love it. If my favorite Yahoo, well, thank you so much for coming on. I really appreciate it. Thank you. Such interesting, unique information that is so valuable. And I think it can help a lot of people know that if they're not being healed or they have something that is mentally or physically wrong with them, they should really like see can look into something beyond just medication or just taking what their doctor, their traditional

doctors does at heart. We're healed. We are healed. And we so desperately look for a healing outside of our at heart. We're healed. We are healed and we're so desperately look for a healing outside of our body, but we're here. It's like to think that we're on this giant journey is not true. We're authentically us today. Connect your body. Visit your body every day. Knock on the front door of your body. It ain't going to answer the door for the first 25, 30, even 50 days,

but maybe the 51st day your body answers and it finally shows you exactly what you need to. Just trust your body's just waiting to reconnect with you. That's amazing. And listen to his podcast heal, Dice Hill. He healed, I saw. Yes, thank you so much. Thank you. Thank you.

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