Habits and Hustle - Episode 40: Alan Stein Jr. – Performance Coach, Keynote Speaker, Author

Episode Date: December 3, 2019

Alan Stein Jr. is a performance coach that teaches proven strategies to improve organizational performance, create effective leadership, and increases team cohesion and collaboration. He spent 15+ yea...rs working with the highest-performing athletes on the planet (including NBA superstar Kevin Durant).  Alan breaks down the importance of self-awareness, surrounding yourself with a complementary team, how to have the power over your fears, and much more. You won’t want to miss this episode! Youtube Link to This Episode Alan’s Website Alan’s New Book: Raise Your Game – https://raiseyourgamebook.com/ ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Did you learn something from tuning in today? Please pay it forward and write us a 5-star review on Apple Podcasts. 📧If you have feedback for the show, please email habitsandhustlepod@gmail.com  📙Get yourself a copy of Jennifer Cohen’s newest book from Habit Nest, Badass Body Goals Journal. ℹ️Habits & Hustle Website 📚Habit Nest Website 📱Follow Jennifer – Instagram – Facebook – Twitter – Jennifer’s Website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:47 Vitamin water is a registered trademark of glass O. Welcome to the Habits and Hustle Podcast. A podcast that uncovers the rituals, unspoken habits, and mindsets of extraordinary people. A podcast powered by habit nest. Now here's your host, Jennifer Cohen. All right, you guys. We have Alan Stein Jr. on Habits and Hustle today.
Starting point is 00:01:16 Alan is a performance coach. Otherwise, he used to be known as a strength and conditioning coach. He's written a great book called, Raise Your Game, High Performance Secrets from the Best of the Best. Thank you so much for coming on the podcast. My pleasure, it's wonderful to connect with you.
Starting point is 00:01:31 It's wonderful to connect with you. Why don't we start by giving me a different differentiation, or what's the difference between a Strength in Conditioning Coach, a performance coach, and a mental performance coach? I think there's so many different coaches around people me included get very confused. For sure. When I first started, so basketball was my first passion.
Starting point is 00:01:54 I fell in love with the game at four or five years old and here four decades later, it's still a major pillar of my life. So most people are familiar with what would be a basketball coach or a skills coach. Well, when I got in high school in college, I started to develop an equal affinity for the fitness side for strength conditioning, improving athleticism. So I started as a strength and conditioning coach. And then as that started to grow, I realized that what
Starting point is 00:02:17 I did was more than just help someone get stronger and get in good shape. So that title was kind of insufficient. And what I was trying to do was help people improve their overall performance on the court. So it kind of just morphed into being what I call a performance coach, which is how most of the people in the space prefer to it now. Well, we were talking about that like before, right? So sure. It's kind of a natural evolution, right? That if you're doing a lot of the strength and before or the strength and conditioning or the fitness stuff, that like over time, people realize it's not about the physical,
Starting point is 00:02:47 it's about the mental. Yes. Because you can do a squad all day if you have the mental, if you're mentally right, right? It's not about just, you need to have that motivation that perseverance, behavior change in your head. Absolutely. And that's where that natural progression.
Starting point is 00:03:02 So I went from most of my focus being on helping players improve their body, helping them improve their athleticism, movement, efficiency, but realized that the key to all of that was the mental side. So started diving more on the mental side. And then within the mental side, then you've also got things as you were just mentioning grit and perseverance and leadership, you know, the ability to influence your teammates and impact your teammates. So that was really how this natural transition. And now I'm in the corporate world as a speaker, and I teach businesses how to utilize those same principles.
Starting point is 00:03:34 Right. The vast majority of what it takes for an elite athlete to be an elite, or an elite team to be a championship team, is the same stuff folks can and should be using in the business world. Now, did you always work with athletes or did you start with like everybody every day people then kind of morph that that into athletes.
Starting point is 00:03:51 Started with just general population you know because at the time as soon as I graduated college I mean I was basically an independent contractor just a trainer on my own so just to make ends meet I had to train anyone and everyone anytime so right outside of DC there was a gym called Planet Fitness. This was before the Planet Fitness chain. This was an independent gym. And one of the things that made them unique was that they allowed independent trainers to come in and they didn't charge you what he's saying.
Starting point is 00:04:17 As long as your members were clients and you were a member of the gym, then you could basically make your own living there without the need of having to get your own studio or own gym. So the people had to be like, yeah, all of my clients were employees. So I looked at it as, I mean, it was just an opportunity to work on my craft. I mean, the skill set of training or teaching or coaching someone really doesn't change a whole lot, whether you're an elite athlete or you're just a general, you know, general population fitness enthusiast.
Starting point is 00:04:45 So I was still working on my craft, but my interest was always in athletes. And so then that slowly morphed into training any athlete of any sport. I mean, I've done a lot of work in football and soccer, but since my love was in basketball, I knew that's where my heart was. So I over time, and it took several years,
Starting point is 00:05:02 then I finally got to the point where I was only training basketball players. But it was a journey. I didn't just wake up one day and go, I just want to train basketball players and they all just started falling out of the sky. Right, exactly. As I asked you.
Starting point is 00:05:12 I had to earn and that's one of the things I find interesting is, you know, I sound old when I say young people, but like people coming up now and they say, you know, well, we want to be able to do some of the things you do and I say, well, you can't do what I'm doing now. You have to do what I did 20 years ago when I was in the same position. And if you're not willing to do those things, then you're not going to be able to do these things.
Starting point is 00:05:33 Right. Because, you know, it's the fundamentals. That's a process. Absolutely. And when you talk about that in your book and I agree with it 100%. Right. I said this earlier before I even saw you today that everyone wants these shortcuts, right, to kind of get to the top, the top tier. But the reality is you need to do the process.
Starting point is 00:05:50 You need to learn the fundamentals, the basics, and do them really, really well in order to get to that place. And that's in any industry. I mean, before we started rolling, we were talking about the rock and Mark Wahlberg and other people that have ascended to the highest level of their craft, all of them have mastered the basics. Absolutely. You know, Mark Wahlberg didn't just all of a sudden become a Hollywood phenomenon. He paid his dues and he did the things that he needed to do.
Starting point is 00:06:14 And then when the opportunity was there, he was prepared for it. Absolutely. It's preparation. But also, all those people who, by the way, am going to get on this podcast at one time, mark my words, send it again out loud. Absolutely. Now, it's out there in the universe. And I'll help you in any way that I can. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:06:28 I appreciate that. It's out there, so let's see. But anyway, back to you, that I feel that it's also work ethic is the thing, right? Yes. It's preparation having that work at, it's basically having that work ethic to prepare and grind and grind and grind.
Starting point is 00:06:44 And people only see what's on the outside. They don't see all the hours that go behind. So I guess how did you even make a transition from everyday people to being a strength and conditioning coach for basketball? Because that's also very difficult. And that's super competitive. Like every trainer I know, every male trainer, is there, their thing is they want to be with athletes, right? So
Starting point is 00:07:10 Tell us and one thing I know your future guest Drew Hanlon. He's the one that coined the term unseeing hours that I absolutely love And I've stolen that right from him. I've given him credit I was making his money on it. I give him royalties But yeah, most of what it takes to be successful in anything happens during the unseen hours. And that's Drew knows that firsthand because he's a major pillar in the player he works with in their unseen hours.
Starting point is 00:07:33 Right. Everyone sees once the lights go on and the cheerleader start dancing, they see the end product, but they don't know how much those guys work behind the scenes withdrew. So yeah, the unseen hours are vital. And as far as making that transition, I mean, the first thing I had to do was just set an intention and make a decision. Very similar to
Starting point is 00:07:49 you just set that intention of having those folks on your podcast. Like, you have to have crystal clear clarity on what it is that you want. So, but I also realized I couldn't take a full roster of general fitness clients. And then the next morning, have a full roster of basketball players. Right. It's a process. So over time, while I was in the role that I currently had, I was trying to star in that role, I was looking to expand my role. And I would do anything and everything to get in front of basketball players. Because I'm from the DC area, which is one of the hot beds for youth basketball, I got
Starting point is 00:08:20 in with a couple of younger players. And once I started working with them, then everyone else was saying, well, we want our kids to work with Alan also. And that's the other part to note, through self-awareness, I realized that I could be the most influential and impactful at the high school and youth level. That's the level that I wanted to work with.
Starting point is 00:08:37 I didn't have aspirations of working with MBA players. I wanted to work with high school kids, because I thought I could be a really good role model to them and help them set the foundation to be the players that they would be. That's a great distinction, right? Because you wanted to work with the youth, the people that, as they were rising.
Starting point is 00:08:53 So Kevin Durant was obviously, well, not obviously, was one of your people. He's, there's a quote, you know, Alan played a huge role in my development on and off the court, and his guidance helped me to get where I am today. This book is a must read. So that's a great testimonial for your book. Kevin's a good, he's a good man. I always picture him as a kid and now when I see him, you
Starting point is 00:09:13 know, he's doing these commercials and press conferences and I mean, it's just, it's remarkable. But it's really cool to see the growth he's had in every area of his life, not just in basketball. I mean, clearly he's an amazing basketball player. But I mean, when I first met him, the first workout I ever took him through, he didn't say two words in the whole hour. Didn't say two words. Like, he was incredibly quiet and shy and introverted. And now this guy leads national press conferences and does international commercials. So just to see his growth in every area of his life has been really fun. It's probably, do you think do things because his confidence obviously grew
Starting point is 00:09:46 as he got better and better and better, right? Because practice gives you the experience, they gives you the confidence. And so what was the, what kind of get put us through what the regiment would be for someone like Kevin Durant? Well, let me tell you, here's anyone that when they saw Kevin play as a youngster, they said he's going to end up being arguably the best player on the planet.
Starting point is 00:10:06 I don't know that they're being truthful. I don't know that anyone knew he was going to be that amazing, but he had all the raw materials to be a phenomenal player. What for what? Give us the raw materials. His athletic ability, I mean, he had a great body. Yes, he was definitely slender, but I mean, he was long and lean. He was incredibly coordinated, because he went from being 6-1 to 6-9 in like two years. So talent. He did have the talent. He absolutely had talent. Had a very high basketball like you. Like he understood the game, but that wasn't by accident. Kevin's always been a student of the game.
Starting point is 00:10:33 Like he would study the players ahead of him and he would watch game film. Like being a smart basketball player was really, really important to him. Most importantly, as you just touched on, he had the passion. See, people forget that it's hard to put in the unseen hours of work if you don't love what you're doing. When you're a Kevin, you're a Jim Rat. I mean, there's nothing in the world he would rather do as a teenager than play basketball.
Starting point is 00:10:57 And if you think today, look at all the distractions teenagers have today. There's a lot of things they can be doing and getting in trouble with. There was nothing he'd rather do than play basketball. But we didn't have that back then. They didn't have the distraction of just playing
Starting point is 00:11:09 social media. Yeah, they did not have that when Kevin was in high school yes, he didn't have as many distractions as kids today do. And that's why I have such high empathy for kids today because it's easy for us to
Starting point is 00:11:19 kind of poo poo on them and say, well, why are you always on your devices? I'm 43. If there would have been iPads and iPhones when I was a teenager, I'd have been on them just as much as kids today would. But they didn't have those distractions. So I didn't have many choices other than to go to the park and shoot hoops.
Starting point is 00:11:33 That's why you're going to put, I think you're going to like, you're going to teach kids early on. Yes. And the oneness is on the parents to create a structure and routine at that age when the kids are allowed to be on there and when the kids are not. Because otherwise, you're right, let your own devices, of course, when I was a kid,
Starting point is 00:11:49 if I didn't have any structure, I'd be like watching three's company and reruns for like 10 hours. It'd be very happy, right? I mean, that's just, that is just the reality, right? Absolutely, and I have three young kids. I have nine year old twin sons, and a seven year old daughter,
Starting point is 00:12:02 and navigating social media and screen time is a big portion. It's me too. I have two kids. What we're trying to figure out. It's brutal. Yeah. I have a four year old and six year old and all they want to do is watch that iPad. Yes. It's really really. But it's not going to change. So it's up to us as the adults to be able to help navigate that safely. It's the you know it's that added you can't stop the waves but you can learn to surf. Yeah. And that's the mindset that I have with my kids. Like, technology's not going to go away.
Starting point is 00:12:27 So I have to teach them how to navigate it responsibly. But back to your original question. Here's a story I haven't told very often, but this is what I knew Kevin Durant was going to be an elite human being, potentially an elite basketball player. We kind of lived on opposite sides of the beltway, and the beltway and DC traffic can be just as bad as it is in New York and possibly even LA.
Starting point is 00:12:48 So we had to work out super early in the mornings before school. Because I just couldn't, I would pick him up sometimes from his apartment at six in the morning to go work out before school. Sometimes it had to be even earlier than that. And I remember a time where I picked him up and I took him to, I'll say it was a YMCA,
Starting point is 00:13:02 I don't remember what type of gym it was, but it was just a normal facility. And we went in and it's, I'll say it was a YMCA. I don't remember what type of gym it was, but it was just a normal facility. And we went in, and it's, I mean, it's a weekday. It's definitely quiet at that time, a morning. And there was a really elderly woman working the front desk. I mean, I didn't ask for her ID, but I'm guessing she was probably 75 or 80.
Starting point is 00:13:18 And we were walking in and she smiled and said, good morning. And Kevin just kind of walked past her. He had his hood on. I think he might even have headphones in. He was just kind of walked faster. He had his hood on. I think he might even had headphones in. He was just kind of, he didn't want to be up that early. Right.
Starting point is 00:13:30 No kids want to be up that early. And how old is it at this point? He was 16. Okay. And he just kind of walked by her and to her credit, she said, excuse me, young man, I just said, good morning.
Starting point is 00:13:39 And for a split second, I thought, okay, an elderly woman is talking to a teenager at six in the morning, like given him a little bit of grief, this could really turn ugly. Like I sure hope he doesn't turn around and say, FU or something like that. And instead, he turned around, took his hood off and said, I'm sorry, ma'am, good morning. And at that moment, I was like, all right, this kid is high character. He realized that he made a mistake, probably didn't have the best manners when he walked
Starting point is 00:14:02 by her. But he balanced that out by being incredibly respectful. Like that was when I knew he had the framework to have the type of character that would support however good he was going to be as a player. And at that moment, I was like, I this kid's special. Right. Could you take most, most elite basketball players by the time there's 16 or 17 are riddled with entitlement because everyone tells them how awesome they are. Everyone is kissing their butt. So you've got this teenager who's up early, doesn't want to be up early.
Starting point is 00:14:29 He's coming to do a strength workout which he did not want to do. Kevin hated doing weights with me. And this lady's given him a hard time for not seeing good morning. I would think most kids in his position would have rolled their eyes at the very least or given the finger.
Starting point is 00:14:42 And instead, he turns around, takes his foot off and says, I'm sorry, ma'am, good morning. Then I was like, all right, this kids are all right, because he's got the character that will support, however good he wants to be as a basketball player. Because of that age, like you said. So at that age, people are, I think,
Starting point is 00:14:55 are there scouts already coming after him and doing all these things at this point, right? And today's day and age, by the time you're 16, if you can play, everybody's aware of you. Because Kevin had all of the major schools going after him, the dukes, the carolina, the Kentucky's. And he ended up going to Texas because Kevin's always been one that likes to zig
Starting point is 00:15:12 when everybody else's eggs. So he wanted to go to a school that traditionally wasn't a basketball powerhouse so that he could help put them on the map and leave their mark. So yeah, he's a special young man and I'm always always going to root for him. So what what's one of his things that he did that in his in his in his preparation or his routine that was unique
Starting point is 00:15:35 That you tell me one of the things it was so cool even in high school He was always the first kid to the gym and he was always the last one to leave so in high school You basically got the high school coach saying, look man, I gotta go home. I'm gonna close the doors. You gotta go. I mean, it's been two hours since practice ended and he's still there getting up shots.
Starting point is 00:15:53 And then I was friends with one of the GMs with the thunder when he played for the thunder and they said it was the same thing. They said that he and Russell Westbrook when they played together with the thunder started to have a competition to see who could beat the other one to the gym. Because Katie would be there and Russell would show up and Katie would be like, where you've
Starting point is 00:16:09 been, man, you're slackin'. I've already been here for an hour. So then the next day Russell would try to beat him to the gym and it got to the point where they're getting to practice two, three hours early just to see who can get in the gym first. But the most important part is because of their leadership, now that's starting to rub off on all of the other players. Now you've got your other players,
Starting point is 00:16:26 your young players, your role players. Well, they all want to show up early because they want to be like the superstars. So, guys like that, their influence is contagious. So, they get to the point where, just by showing up early and staying late, now that becomes the culture of your organization. And now everyone else is doing that.
Starting point is 00:16:42 And I think that even rubbed off on James Harden before he left the thunder. Like these guys that want to be superstars, they put in the time. Right, put in the time. Yeah, there's absolutely no way you can replace the putting in of time. Absolutely, so let's get into it.
Starting point is 00:16:55 So raise your game, the book. OK, so the first thing that you talk about, and you think is probably the most important thing of raising your game, is self-awareness. Yes. And self-awareness. Yes. And self-innovation. And self-innovation. Absolutely. Self-awareness. I know when my own personal journey self-awareness has been huge, I'm very amicably divorced. So when I was going to my divorce five years ago, I went in for some therapy.
Starting point is 00:17:17 Very amicably. Yeah, well, I'm proud of that. Because I love the fact that Max and I, we can be friends. We get along well. We co-parent very well. So I do say amicably because you don't hear those two words in the same sense. Yeah, most people are like amicable divorce. I don't think those can be in the same sentence. And they can be if you choose them to be. So that kind of like the guetta paltrow like uncoupling the uncoupling. Uncoupling. There are still a divorce but at least it was yeah. I made the decision and I know I
Starting point is 00:17:44 go off on tangents all the time. I made the decision and I know I go off on tangents all the time. I made the decision that I wanted to be civil, respectful, and compassionate through the whole divorce process. And because I knew that I was modeling for my children. Right, of course, the same thing. What they would see. So thankfully, she made the same decision, and that made life a lot easier.
Starting point is 00:18:01 A lot easier. Yeah, with that, you know, very, very thankful. But what I was going to say is going in and seeing a therapist is what really started to help me realize, I was very unaware. I had very low self-awareness, probably for the first 36, 37 years of my life. I just wasn't looking.
Starting point is 00:18:18 Did you think you were aware? Of course. Absolutely. Because everyone thinks that they are right. If we walk outside right now in Central Park and ask everyone, are you self-aware? Everyone will say yes. But everyone also says they are. If we walk outside right now in Central Park and ask everyone, are you self-aware? Everyone will say yes. But everyone also says they're a good driver.
Starting point is 00:18:29 And clearly not everybody's a good driver. That's like me. So most people, and that's the thing. See, if you're unaware, you don't even know that you're unaware. That's the death of the person. You don't know what you don't know. Yes. Right? And we would say all the time, in basketball,
Starting point is 00:18:42 it's not the player that takes a bad shot that you worry about. It's the one that takes a bad shot and doesn't know it was a bad shot. Right. Because now they're going to come down and take that shot over and over because they don't know. It's not so true though, right? People who are just completely oblivious to like how they like how they present themselves in the world, right?
Starting point is 00:19:00 Yes. But you're even saying that even people who are not the people who are obviously like that, but it's just other people who actually think that they're like, they're kind of deep and self, they have self growth, they're even unaware. Yes, a good portion of people are. Yeah. And I look at there's a few levels of self awareness. On the surface level, you have knowing what you're good at, knowing your strengths, knowing
Starting point is 00:19:24 what, you know, your hopes and your dreams. But then it's also having to encourage to look at the other side. I know what things are you not so good at. What are your challenges? What are your fears? What are your deep rooted insecurities? Like what are the things if the rest of the world knew about you would scare you to death?
Starting point is 00:19:38 And understandably, most people put that stuff at arm's distance because who wants to spend time thinking about their insecurities? Well, until you get a hold of them, they can run your life, or they can run your decision making process. So doing the dirty work, or the hard work, of being able to face your insecurities and face those things is vital.
Starting point is 00:19:57 And I don't know if you were prepared for a an eight mile M&M reference, but. I saw that in your book, by the way. Yes, to me, that's the, and I'm an M&M fan. I'm an, I saw my, I like M&M reference, but I saw that in your book. By the way, to me, that's the, and I'm an M&M fan. I'm an, I saw my, I like M&M. But in eight mile, you know, spoiler alert for anyone that has a movie that's now 20 years old. It's like 20 years old, I think it's on a spoiler alert.
Starting point is 00:20:15 Well, it was basically in his rap battle. He owned all of his insecurities and deficiencies before the other guy could make fun of him. And it's like, if you own that stuff, if you know what things are your shortcomings and what things you're insecure about, then you have the power over them instead of them having a power over you. So that's one level. Then the next level of self-awareness
Starting point is 00:20:33 is making sure that the way you view yourself is the way the rest of the world sees you. And perfect example would be, if I asked you if you were a good listener, clearly you are. But if I asked you if you were a good listener, and you are. But if I asked you if you were a good listener, and you said yes. And then I asked the people that know you the best, and they said no, Jen's an awful listener.
Starting point is 00:20:51 Well, that would mean there's a difference between the way you see yourself and the way the rest of the world sees you, which means you're actually unaware. Now, if I asked you if you were a good listener, and you're like, oh no, I'm not, and then I asked the people closest to you, and they said, yeah, she's not,
Starting point is 00:21:04 you would actually have high self-awareness because you'd be aware of the fact that you're not a good listener. And so making sure that we have, and this is not about pandering for people's affection or adoration, it's simply about making sure that the way you see yourself is the way the world sees you. And that's one of the problems with folks
Starting point is 00:21:22 that have narcissistic tendencies is, they view themselves as much better than the rest of the world views them. That's they see the world through blinders and they think they're the best thing in the world and most people tend to disagree. Vitamin water just dropped a new zero sugar flavor called with love. Get the taste of raspberry and dark chocolate for the all warm, all fuzzy, all self-care, zero self-doubt you. Grab a with love today. Vitamin water's zero sugar, nourish every you. Vitamin water is a registered trademark of glass O.
Starting point is 00:21:59 So then how does someone like a, I know you're not a psychologist, but are there ways to improve somebody's self-awareness? Because I know that in the book you give people a quiz and tell. Well, the crazy part is I think the way that you improve self-awareness is by asking those close to you. That's the only way. Yeah, because as you said perfectly, you can't see your blind spots. Now part of self-awareness is acknowledging that, hey, I do have blind spots. I can't see what's in them, hence the reason they're blind spots. Now part of self-awareness is acknowledging that hey I do have blind spots. I can't see
Starting point is 00:22:25 what's in them, hence the reason they're blind spots. But if you're my good friend, can you help me see what's in those blind spots? So every one of us has blind spots. And that's why we should insulate ourselves with people that are willing to tell us the things that we need to hear. Yes, the truth. I think the truth is the best gift. That's the best gift you can give someone. I agree with you. It's fun because here you are working with a bunch of athletes. And you're saying self-awareness is the most important thing to raise your game because that you build on other things. And yet, a lot of people would say that athletes,
Starting point is 00:22:57 people who are celebrities, people like that, are the most narcissists because all they have around them are people who are basically, yes, yes, yes, yes, man, yes, man, yes, man. So are you saying the people who are truly the best in their in their field, don't have that narcissistic quality? Well, I think, I think that might be a stereotype. I'm willing to bet that the highest performers in any industry, they have incredibly high confidence. I mean, they're ego something that'll also always have to keep in check. But I don't necessarily classify them as narcissists
Starting point is 00:23:29 because I think most of them do at least insulate themselves with a couple of people that will tell them the truth. And one thing I've noticed in sport, the best athletes in the world all have coaches and they all want coaches. And they crave coaches that can give them the type of feedback that helps them get better. I agree with you actually.
Starting point is 00:23:45 I think that what happens a lot of times is to sustain success, you need to have the confidence and the humility to balance it out and surround yourself with people who keep you in check. Yes. It's when the people don't, when they have a bunch of yes men around them and what I've noticed in my own personal life is when really,
Starting point is 00:24:04 when mayhem happens. Absolutely. And that success becomes kind of untethered I'm not going to ask them about it. I'm not going to ask them about it. I'm not going to ask them about it. I'm not going to ask them about it. I'm not going to ask them about it. I'm not going to ask them about it. I'm not going to ask them about it. I'm not going to ask them about it. I'm not going to ask them about it. I'm not going to ask them about it.
Starting point is 00:24:20 I'm not going to ask them about it. I'm not going to ask them about it. I'm not going to ask them about it. I'm not going to ask them about it. help with the self-awareness to round yourself with people who are true friends and family, who will give you the truth, who will kind of keep you in balance and check and hold you accountable. And in my opinion, that's what a good coach will do, a good teacher, anyone. And as soon as you find that someone is not willing, well part of it too is, we, if we're going to consider ourselves the performers, we have to create a safe environment
Starting point is 00:24:45 where we show that we're open enough to allow that type of feedback. Like, I want the people closest to me to know. I want you to tell me things that I might not want to hear. And I want you to tell me things you might not want to say, but it's going to be good for both of us in the long run if we're just honest with each other. And people, I used to be so fearful of confrontation,
Starting point is 00:25:04 even just the word confrontation made me uncomfortable, but confrontation is really just facing the truth head on. That's an old coach cake quote, like that's all confrontation is. Like you and I are having a disagreement about something and we just need to face the truth head on. You need to explain how you're feeling and why you're feeling that way. I need to do the same thing and we're doing it in a safe enough space that the end result is we're both going to be better off for it. Right.
Starting point is 00:25:27 So it's not me versus you, it's me and you and let's find this result. And as you know, especially in fitness, you have to go through discomfort in order to change your body. Absolutely. And it's the same thing in anything. If you want your relationship to improve or you want emotional growth or you want your company to improve, then you have to be willing to go through periods of discomfort. Right. And getting feedback that you don't necessarily want to hear, but it's good for you, is just part of that discomfort.
Starting point is 00:25:51 And like just to kind of keep this going, it's not, it's also what, why it's important is, it's to focus also on your strengths, but also know your weaknesses. So then you have, you have, you can figure out ways to kind of balance them out. Yes. So like that really resonated with me because that's my entire life, right? Like I know what I feel that maybe I don't and everything, but I feel like I know what I'm good at. And I also, more importantly,
Starting point is 00:26:15 know what I'm really bad at. And when I know what I'm bad at, I make sure I have people who I work with who compliment my strength. So you can delegate the things that you're not very good at and or not like doing. That's how I think people really do become more successful. Absolutely, and that's how it's easy.
Starting point is 00:26:33 And that's why, exactly, and that's why it's important. That's why I think at the end of the day, why self-awareness is so important for anything else that comes, right? For sure. If you look at take a typical MBA team, now you've got maybe two dozen just amazing stars in the NBA.
Starting point is 00:26:48 These are the guys that can do a little bit of everything. The LeBron James, the Kevin Durantz, but outside of those top players, everyone else in the NBA is a role player. Everyone else has one sometimes two very specific skill sets that they can perform at a high level. And that's what they focus on. That's what they practice. That's what they do during workouts. That's what the team needs them to do. That's what the team pays
Starting point is 00:27:07 them to do. And if they step out and start trying to do other things, then the whole ship gets confused. And it's the same thing in business. Like if you're in marketing and I'm in accounting, I don't need to be telling you how to market our company. I need to stay in my lane and do the accounting and same for you. And if you do your job and I do my job, now together collectively, we'll help the company raise our company. No, absolutely. And that's why I think it's important to say that
Starting point is 00:27:32 because a lot of times you could be, again, a jack of all trades and a master of none. But in reality, if you become a master at that one trade, that's when real success and that's when you really kind of flourish, yes because you can do a little bit of this And a little bit of that and then you'd be end up doing a lot of nothing. Yes You know, that's what I that's how I see it and and when you can not only know your strengths But align those with the things that you also really love doing well
Starting point is 00:27:58 That's when you're in your strengths own that point of intersection between what you're good at and what and what you love Wherever that thing intersects. That's your strength right because it's not just doing the things what you're good at and what you love wherever that thing intersects, that's your strength. Because it's not just doing the things that we're good at. I mean, who wants to spend their life doing things they don't like doing? So I delegate anything that I'm not good at or I don't enjoy doing. And I delegate them to people that actually enjoy them.
Starting point is 00:28:17 So I'm not giving someone else an errand. I'm giving them something that they want to do. Absolutely. That's how high-performing teams work. And it's also, I find it, sometimes, I have to say, though, I have empathy for it, because it's me, too. Like, what happens if you're good at a few things, right? And you could be a bad at a lot of things.
Starting point is 00:28:35 How do you whittle down to that one thing that you should focus on? So you're saying, I mean, I think I'm only good at a very small handful of things. No, no, me, too. And there's a whole bunch of stuff. I'm not very good. Oh, I mean, I think I'm only good at a very small handful of things. No, no, me too. And there's a whole bunch of stuff I'm not very good at. Oh, I agree, but I'm saying, besides you and I, right?
Starting point is 00:28:50 Yes. There's other people in the world who hopefully are listening to this podcast. Yeah. And they're like, well, I really like, and I'm good at these three things. And they don't really, they have you, how do you whittle it down and be, how do you only focus on one thing? How do people get to that point, right? Well, how do they find their superpower? How do they find that one you only focus on one thing? How do people like get to that point, right? How do they find their superpower?
Starting point is 00:29:07 How do they find that one thing to focus on? I think a lot of it is good old fashioned trial and error. I mean, one of the things you said that was so powerful before, not only do you know what you're good at, you know what you're not good at, well, just as important to know what you like is to know what you don't like.
Starting point is 00:29:20 And it doesn't matter if you're talking about trying to find a career or trying to find a spouse, like you need to know what you like and what you don't like and sometimes that's just trial and error. You know that's why I encourage my own children to try as many different sports and activities as possible and I say look if you sign up for baseball if if we sign you up you're making the commitment to play the full season. Like because if you're going to start something you're going to finish it. If at the end of the baseball season, if you don't like baseball, you don't ever have to play again for the rest of your life if you don't want to,
Starting point is 00:29:48 but now you can check something off the list that, hey, I don't like this. And when I look back on my own childhood, I was very focused just on sport. I was not very well-rounded. I never tried anything in the arts. I didn't sing, I didn't play an instrument, I didn't dance.
Starting point is 00:30:02 I mean, it's funny thinking about if I had, but I didn't even try any of that stuff because all I wanted to do was play sports. And who knows, I may have liked that stuff. I might have found a hobby or something that I liked. So with my kids, I want them to try as many things as they can. To find their passions. Yes. And anytime you can cross something off the list of, this isn't my thing, that's a good thing. Because now you don't have to try it again. And you're actually, you're narrowing the field down of what you will find.
Starting point is 00:30:26 That's 100% true, right? So like you should be trying a ton of stuff at the beginning or another being, when you're starting out kind of thing in life, because that's how you really figure out and whittle down what you really want to do, what you really like, where your passion is. Because I think everyone does have passion within them. It's about untapping it, unlocking it,
Starting point is 00:30:45 and figuring out what it is. Absolutely. Because you don't want to do something for the rest of your life that you don't have passion for. No, to me, I think anyone that does, I feel bad for them. No, exactly. I feel that, you know, but a vast majority of people,
Starting point is 00:30:58 that's what they do. But right, because they don't, because they don't have a lot of times, they're fearful of trying. Yes. And then that's what holds them back. But then if you, when you have the passion, that's when you have, that's when work ethic and discipline come then, right?
Starting point is 00:31:13 Absolutely. Like, even for you and I, you know, like in the, let's just stay fit as wise. Sure. You know, I like to run on a treadmill, right? I just do. And no matter how much, you know, someone says, oh, you should try cycling. I'm like, I
Starting point is 00:31:26 don't like it. So if I don't like it, guess what? I'm never doing it. I don't care. Even if I'm a fitness person, highly motivated, I love being fit. I'm very active. I won't do what I don't like. And that's people. So that's why when you find what you like, you're going to end up doing it over and over and over again and get better at it. Absolutely. And that's why I've always been you like, you're going to end up doing it over and over and over again and get better at it. Absolutely. And that's why I've always been fascinated with language and with words. And we may see this one different.
Starting point is 00:31:51 I'd love to hear your opinion. I mean, one of the most popular words and entrepreneurship and fitness is the word grind. And I don't like the word grind only because the connotation it has with me is that it's like miserable. Yeah, miserable. I don't want to grind through life. I have a great work ethic and I put my heart and soul into everything I do, but I don't want on my tombstone.
Starting point is 00:32:11 I don't want someone as Alan grinded through life. Like that's not a compliment to me. Now, I also, I'm not saying those that like the word are wrong, they might have a different interpretation of how that word makes them feel. But when someone says, like Alan, you got to rise and grind. No, I don't. I'm going to rise and enjoy the hell out of my life.
Starting point is 00:32:27 And I'm going to do what I love to do. And I'm going to do it to the best of my ability. But there's no grinding going on. It's funny. You say that. That's just that specific word. No, I agree. Well, I think this fine.
Starting point is 00:32:36 You're very literal about the word, right? Like grind, because it does. It has a connotation that like you're like basically like being, you're being forced and doing something you hate. But I think that's just a popular hashtag. For sure. People are like masses. I'm like, oh, six people use it.
Starting point is 00:32:54 I'm going to use it. And I'm also like, what do you call it? A victim of that myself. But I understand your point. I get that, you're right. And the other one is hack. People talk all the time about looking for a hack. Oh, I'm just saying that earlier and like there's no shortcuts in real life. Yes, but to me, when I hear the word hack, that's how I interpret it.
Starting point is 00:33:12 Yeah. I interpret it. If you're looking for a hack, you're looking for a shortcut. Right. And that's not what I do. So I don't, I'm not trying to hack my life. Or hack of a commutes also talked about like a comedian's a hack when they're really bad. Yes. That is absolutely a definition. See, I write your book. I know you did. I appreciate it. I did.
Starting point is 00:33:30 I wrote your book. I don't even know if this is the area we're going, but one of the things I think too is important is when you decide what it is that you want to be good at is not just having the narrow focus on the ways that you can improve that skill set. See, one of the ways that I mentioned in the book that I try to improve my craft as a professional speaker is I study hip hop and I study stand-up comedy because those are two different forms of being in the orator that I'm fascinated with. So whether I agree with Eminem's content is irrelevant, but his precision, the way that
Starting point is 00:33:57 he can bend words, the way that he can tell a story, you know, all of that stuff is the same thing with a stand-up comic. What they do, I don't want to be a hip-hop artist and I don't want to be a standup comedian, but I want to be able to emulate portions of their craft that fit in what I'm trying to do to make me better at my craft. Well, I, it's funny you say those two because both of those to do both of those things well, I mean, that's like tap crazy talent. Yes. To be able to do that. To stand up in front of a bunch of strangers
Starting point is 00:34:26 and like flow jokes or like to figure out jokes, they're gonna be super clever and super intelligent for that. And it's a ton of unseen hours. And it's a ton of unseen hours. To like, to think of the joke, to practice the joke, to figure out what the joke is gonna, how it's gonna like, how one thing basically flows into another one, it's virtually, for me, we to like, how one thing basically flows into another one.
Starting point is 00:34:45 It's virtually, I would think, for me, we'd be impossible. I would never be able to do, we'd been 30 seconds. It's an amazing craft. But what do you mean that you look at those? What do you get from that? What is it teach you? Purely from trying to be an orator is their timing, their ability to pause or change their inflection,
Starting point is 00:35:06 their volume, their physicality, their body language. You know, I mean, when you think about it, and will you stand up comedy, a stand up comic for the most part has nothing other than a mic. Like, there's no props, there's no slides, there's no, there's nothing. Carried top might be different, but generally speaking. And same with the hip-hop artists, they have a mic. Yes. Or not. And there's nothing. Karate top might be different, but generally speaking. And same with the hip-hop artists.
Starting point is 00:35:25 They have a mic or a knot. And that's it. It's the same thing. Yes. And they have to control an entire room, just based solely off what they say. And they realize that the words that they say, that actual words are only a small portion of what they're doing.
Starting point is 00:35:39 The way they say their words. Again, you use the word flow. I love that word. Their flow, their rhythm, their timing, what they enunciate, what they say their words. Again, you use the word flow. I love that word. Their flow, their rhythm, their timing, what they enunciate, what they say quietly, what they say loudly, how long they pause in between something completely changes the message. So most people would think that a stand-up comic, they only have words in their toolbox. No, they've got 50 things in their toolbox. And how funny they are depends on how well they use those tools. And I try to look at myself the same way as a professional
Starting point is 00:36:06 speaker. I have a gig tomorrow morning in Orlando. I have a lot of tools at my disposal to get my message across to those people, hopefully in an entertaining and engaging way. And I can't just use my words or just use slides. I have to use everything I can. So as I watch stand-up comedians or I watch hip-hop artists,
Starting point is 00:36:24 I think I'm getting better at learning how to use those verbal tools and then I try to apply them to my craft. Right. To be better. Absolutely. Whether you're doing a dance to your favorite artist in the office parking lot, or being guided into Warrior I in the break room before your shift, whether you're running on your Peloton tread at your mom's house while she watches the baby, Whether you're running on your Peloton thread at your mom's house while she watches the baby, or counting your breaths on the subway. We're inhaling and long exhale. Peloton is for all of us.
Starting point is 00:36:52 Wherever we are, whenever we need it, download the free Peloton app today. Peloton app available through free tier or paid subscription starting at 12.99 per month. So, before you came on here, I did another podcast with a woman named Lydia who wrote a book called the most powerful woman in the room is you, right? And one of her things that she talks about is public speaking is one of the benchmarks of being really successful, being good at it.
Starting point is 00:37:21 So you just touched upon the fact that doing a speaking engagement. Now, do you find that to be something also to be really good at something. Is that like a secret? Like you should be really if you are really good speaker that gives you an edge. I think you know for me what's interesting I've got I've got four speaking engagements this week. Speaking yeah. No speaking is my primary vocation right now and it's it's and I absolutely love it. I mean, I am a little bit.
Starting point is 00:37:48 The high that I get when I'm on stage, I don't think is any different than a stand-up comedian or a hip-hop person would feel, other than the fact that I'm not selling out Madison Square Garden. I'll have 150 people in a conference room, but I love being in front of people. And I love sharing things that I'm passionate about.
Starting point is 00:38:04 And I love giving people Principles and strategies that they can apply to their life to get better But the craft of speaking is something I don't take myself very serious. I take my craft I love you very seriously. I'm I'm I'm I'm going on a tangent tomorrow. I'll be a 75 minute keynote. That's a long Oh really see I think that's what I gotta do a TED talk for 18 minutes, am I freaking out? Well, here's the thing, and this is just my opinion as a professional speaker. I think the shorter the time, the harder it is,
Starting point is 00:38:29 because when you only have 18 minutes to do a TED talk, you can't mess up a single syllable. I guess not, you can't steer off, but when you have 75 minutes, you have a little bit of leeway. And I do, I do half day workshops and full day training. So I might be in with a corporate group for eight hours in a day. I've got plenty of time to go off on tangents
Starting point is 00:38:47 to talk about things. When you have 18 minutes, you gotta keep that high and tight. No, exactly. I love that. It's so true. More from our guest, but first a few words from our sponsor. Now, probably by now, you guys have all heard about the potential benefits of CBD, right?
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Starting point is 00:39:33 Now I've been using hemp fusion for a while because I can have sometimes trouble falling falling asleep and it's been really helpful, but they're also really great for stress, energy. There's all sorts of different things that it can be great for. So if you want to get 20% off your first order and of course free shipping, go to hempfusion.com and use the promo code habits. That's hempfusion.com to get 20% off your first order and of course free shipping. When I look at the professional speaking, I think there's three things that you need to look at.
Starting point is 00:40:07 One is the content. So do I have something worth sharing that's going to help someone? That's a portion of it. Two is the delivery. Can I share whatever I have in a way that makes you want to listen? Because remember, we're all competing for attention. So if you are going to be in the audience tomorrow on Orlando, it's my job to be more engaging and entertaining than whatever's on your phone.
Starting point is 00:40:25 Because I need you looking at me, not looking at your phone while I'm talking. And then the third part is, in this very similar to fitness, it's the business side. Like you could be the world's best speaker, but if you don't know how to run a speaking business or you don't know how to get clients, then it doesn't matter how good you are
Starting point is 00:40:38 because you're gonna be in trouble. So there's those three different pillars. And I try to give each of those pillars, you know, my focus and, you know, trying to I try to give each of those pillars my focus and trying to make sure that each one of those is in alignment, because I'm not trying to only do two out of the three. If I want to be a really good professional speaker,
Starting point is 00:40:53 I got to go three for three, and I got to focus on those three things. So you're basically then talking about how you prepare for these things, how preparation. So let's go back with the book, because there's much more here. So discipline, do we touch upon that? I liked one lesson, actually. So, I'm just going to be talking about the things that we have in the community. So, I'm going to be
Starting point is 00:41:06 talking about the things that we have in the community. So, let's go back with the book because there's much more here. So, discipline, do we touch upon that?
Starting point is 00:41:14 I liked one lesson, actually. You talked about a guy named Dave Bullwinkle, who discolored for the Chicago Bulls. Good for the mind. And he taught you a very valuable lesson about, and
Starting point is 00:41:22 this applies to life. Absolutely. So, do you want to say it or do you want me to kind of talk about it? I'd be happy to take you through. Okay. Yeah, this would have been man well over 10 years ago, but he was a scout for the Bulls. And his job was to watch college players to decide who the Bulls should draft and the upcoming draft. And there was going to be a game in DC where I live where Syracuse was going to play Georgetown. And for the college basketball purist, they know that 10 years ago back in the real big east, that was a huge rivalry.
Starting point is 00:41:42 This was a big game. Both teams had several players that were NBA caliber players. And the game was going to be a two o'clock tip off. And he called me a few days before and asked if I wanted to join him. And yeah, I have a Saturday open, a free basketball game. Yeah, I'll be there. And he said, why need you to meet me at the arena at 11. And I got a little confused. I'm like, why would we ever have to be there three hours before tip off? And he said, well, I need to be in there watching these guys when they don't think anyone else is watching them. I need to see how these players prepare.
Starting point is 00:42:09 Yes, I need to see how serious do they take their warm-up with their strength coach? How serious do they pay attention to their coach during their walkthrough? How much respect do they show the building service workers? Like, I wanna see how they behave when they don't think someone's watching. And I remember he took page after page of notes when no one was in the arena except for
Starting point is 00:42:28 he and I. And he actually took more notes then than he took during the game. Right. And I was blown away by that. And I would never mention players names because I don't want to diminish anyone. But there were a few players who their stock went up based on the way they behaved and prepared. There were a few players who stock went down based on the way they behaved and prepared, there were a few players who stock went down based on the way they prepared it.
Starting point is 00:42:48 And in the NBA, you know, every position you fall in the NBA draft based on the slated rookie contract scale, you lose about $250,000 to $300,000 a year. So instead of being the 10th pick, going to the 11th pick, you lose about $300 grand a year for your first three years. So I'm not even saying this for dramatic effect. If you fall six or seven spots in the draft, you lose several million dollars in income. And if the reason you dropped several slots in the draft was because you don't take your warm-up serious or you're disrespectful to the building service worker, like that's
Starting point is 00:43:19 just unacceptable. Control the controllables. Do what you're supposed to do in preparation, and then those things won't happen. And to me, that's one of the biggest lessons I try to teach folks. You know, if you're gonna lose a game, or you're gonna lose in a relationship, or you're gonna lose a piece of business,
Starting point is 00:43:34 make sure it's not because of your effort or your attitude. Make sure it's for a different reason. Like, if we're gonna play a basketball game tonight, if you beat me simply because you're more talented, it'll still suck, but I can live with that. If you beat me tonight because I didn't play hard or I didn't have a good attitude, that's just unacceptable. Right. Well, yeah. So there's two things here, right? So the story that you said, what I, what the message I got was you always act as if everyone's watching because everybody's
Starting point is 00:44:02 always watching. Yes. So when you act as if, right? Or because you never know, when you think no one's watching, there's been so many times when you know that happens, right? And those could be the biggest faux pas, right? Absolutely. But then the other thing you just says, control your controllables,
Starting point is 00:44:17 which to me is another way to raise your game, right? Yes. You put a lot, people put a lot of mental energy and focus onto things that is completely out of their control versus the stuff that you can. And you can't really control much. You can control what your attitude. I say attitude and effort.
Starting point is 00:44:34 And effort. You could one could argue you can control your preparation, you control your enthusiasm. But I'm a believer that preparation is simply a combination of attitude and effort. That is effort. And enthusiasm is attitude and effort. So I think those are the only two things that we have 100% control over 100% of the time.
Starting point is 00:44:51 There's other things we have influence over. But as far as just actual control. So for me in my own life, if it doesn't have to do with my own attitude or my own effort, I do the best I can to not worry about it and to disregard it. And it's hard to do. Of course, it's hard. It's very different. That's also you go to train yourself. You're going to train your brain to not worry about it and to disregard it. And it's hard to do. Of course it's hard. That's also, you go to train yourself. You gotta train your brain to not allow yourself
Starting point is 00:45:09 to go there because it's very easy for me anyway. I get so worked up over things that are completely out of my control and I lose my shit over it. And then. But now if you're at the point where you can catch yourself doing it, you can shorten that window. So maybe beforehand, the old Jen, when you'd get upset about something outside of your control, it puts you in a bad mood for a full day.
Starting point is 00:45:30 Yeah, no. Now it puts you in a bad mood for a couple of minutes because you can catch it. Absolutely. So, a perfect example. We're in beautiful New York City. When we're done recording, I got a head to the airport, the flat or land. I don't control what traffic's going to look like between here and there. So true, yeah.
Starting point is 00:45:43 And there's a good chance in New York City, the traffic is not gonna be very cooperative. So if I get stuck in traffic, what good is it for me to get upset, for me to get, you know, like it doesn't help. The cars are still in the way. If anything, I'm just making my life more miserable by getting upset at traffic. And raising your cortisol level.
Starting point is 00:45:59 Yeah, absolutely. I mean, it'll literally kill you. No, literally kill you. Yeah. And a distress will kill you from that. So I think a good way to do that, maybe just self, like try to catch yourself, Absolutely, I mean, it'll literally kill you. No, it literally kill you, exactly. And the stress will kill you from that. So I think a good way to do that maybe just try to catch yourself like you said
Starting point is 00:46:09 and talk yourself down the ledge, like self-talk, like nothing you can do, and have those mantras in your head, right? So it does help. Okay, look. And one of those mantras is that we, I said earlier, I said that note would make sense is to be where your feet are,
Starting point is 00:46:23 that whole concept of being in the present moment. So be where your feet are. So to me, if I get stuck in traffic, or when I get stuck in traffic after this, is I don't have to worry about the future. Oh my gosh, am I gonna miss my flight? If I miss it, is there gonna be another? I don't have to worry about any of that.
Starting point is 00:46:36 I just focus on being in the present moment. Just take a couple of deep breaths and just focus on whatever I'm doing, which might just be looking out the window and enjoying a beautiful day in New York, might be getting caught up on some emails or phone calls, but wherever you are, just be there. And that's one of the hardest things I think it is
Starting point is 00:46:51 for people to do. Yeah, absolutely. I mean, think of many times you've been in a conversation with someone, they haven't really been, they're not there. They're thinking about you. They're thinking about something else doing something else. That's why you said active listening in your book, too, right?
Starting point is 00:47:04 Like being an active listener. Don't just like listen to hear it until when's the next break that you can talk, right? Be able to like take it in, actually, like actively listen to what they're saying. And I think that's one of the most important skill sets because it has such high utility. Being a good active listener will help you
Starting point is 00:47:22 in every relationship in your life. Every personal and every professional relationship you have will immediately get better if you learn to actively listen. And yeah, and that's one for me. I talk about having low self awareness before. I was an awful listener for most of my life. Now I'm not a world-class listener, but I'd like to believe I'm getting better at it, only because I'm conscious of it.
Starting point is 00:47:44 And because I would find myself while you're speaking, I'm formulating believe I'm getting better at it only because I'm conscious of it. And because I would find myself, while you're speaking, I'm formulating what I want to say back to you. Right. Because I'm a very competitive person. So it was always this, I want to show you I'm right. I want to show you I'm smart. Whatever you're saying, I'm going to beat that into what an awful way to go through
Starting point is 00:48:01 life. Right. It just take a breath and listen to what the other person's saying, and then follow that up with something insightful or not. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. But I think active listening is one of the most important skill sets.
Starting point is 00:48:14 I agree. And I've noticed how much it's just changed in my life. Again, just being focused on it. And anytime now, because the thing too is you've mentioned trajectory before, especially of your show, which is ramping up big time, which is awesome. We don't have to worry about where we are. We just have to focus on the direction that we're going.
Starting point is 00:48:29 So I'm not worried about the fact that I might not be a world-class listener at the moment. I'm getting better every single day. I'm a better listener today than I was a year ago. And if you and I reconvene a year from now, I'll be a better listener then, because it's something that I'm conscious of and I'm trying to improve. And that's what should be most important Progress is way more important than perfection when it comes to any of this. That's a good quote I've say that all but I think a lot of people say that progress is much better than perfection or more important than perfection Attention program shoppers. Did you know there's a world of innovative services and patient care right in store?
Starting point is 00:49:02 It's where an award-winning pharmacy and nationally recognized care come together. Connect with one of our licensed pharmacists today at your local Kruger and experience the care you and your family deserve. Kruger Health, a world of care, is in store. Services and availability vary by location, age and other restrictions may apply. For coverage, consult your health insurance company, visit the pharmacy or our site for details. Okay, so give us a couple more secrets from the best of the best of high performance.
Starting point is 00:49:31 We went over our bodies. Yeah, that's what you call, you said in your book, high performance secrets from the best of the best. I do, you know what's funny is, and my publisher said, you can't ever say anything to sparingly about your sub-title. And I'm like, you guys realize there are no secrets. Like what it takes to be successful,
Starting point is 00:49:46 plenty of people have already told us. I don't think it's a secret. I'm just reading off the cover. No, I know you are, but that's the reason I started the chuckle, because you're 100% right. I mean, anything that we consider or people consider a secret, those are the ones that are looking for a hack
Starting point is 00:49:59 and are trying to grind through life. Exactly. You know what, that's funny, because I think all of this stuff, and I've been doing this for a little bit now. I write about it in like four or it's the last five years. Yeah. These are, this is common sense stuff. Not any of these things that no offense, but like what's in all these books and columns and stuff. But you know what it is? It's like common sense, isn't so common. Correct. And so people need to be reminded constantly of these things to kind of get it to basically
Starting point is 00:50:26 to remind them that you know what like it's all within all of us to do these things. Absolutely. If we're just reminded of it, you know like I'm not perfect in any of this band means and I'm sure you're not either and neither is Kevin Durant, you know it's constantly working and effort putting the effort in to be reminded. Well what you just hit so perfectly and this can kind of be the major hub of all of it is what I call a performance gap. And that is the gap between the things we know and the things we do. I tell people all the time, reading my book will do absolutely nothing for you.
Starting point is 00:50:57 Reading my book and actually applying it will change your life. So just the knowledge in and of itself doesn't do anything. And everyone listening to this and myself included, we have things that we know we're supposed to do. Right. And we simply don't do them. I mean, especially in the fitness world, I mean, a good portion of it, if you were to ask most people walk in the street, could they come up with a list of healthy foods, they could do that. And if you ask most people, how many hours
Starting point is 00:51:21 should you sleep each night? They'll give you a number real quick. And if you ask most people, like generally speaking, they can't design a workout the way you can. But what should you do from a fitness standpoint? They'll say, uh, do something physically active most days of the week for 30 to 10,000 steps a day or whatever. All of these people know those things, right? But statistically, very few of them are doing any of these things. Right. So it's, it's not that they don't know, it's that they don't do. And to me, that's the, that's the most important concept from the book is we all know a lot. We just need to start doing. And in fact, I'll, I'm like you, I love professional development. I read, I listen,
Starting point is 00:51:54 I listen to your show, I listen to anything that can get me better. But I know for a fact that if I didn't read, watch or listen to anything new for one year, but all I did was implement everything I already know, my performance would go through the roof. That's how much stuff I'm leaving on the table of stuff that I know I should be doing and I don't. And it's so true. It's like incredibly humbling feeling.
Starting point is 00:52:14 I mean, and that's the other thing is, you know, maybe in health and fitness, you and I have very small performance gaps. We know what we're supposed to do and we do it. But then we have to look at. I have big performance gaps actually. In fitness? Yeah, I think I think because I'm a creature of habit.
Starting point is 00:52:29 So I like to do the same things like I was saying earlier. I don't like to do it. I don't like to do. Yes. But I love to do what I love to do. So I'm super dominant in one area and not so and actually the opposite. But I think that is life.
Starting point is 00:52:41 I think everyone's like that. And it takes a lot of tweaking and training your brain. Like I said earlier to change that. But what I was going to say to your point was, you're right. I think that what happens a lot of times is people are like, keep on getting more and more information overload, and they're not acting on what they already know. And that's really the truth.
Starting point is 00:53:03 Like all of this is, these are actionable items, right? Like there's a reason why we're doing with this podcast and your episode and everybody's episode is we are creating journals for everybody. So whatever you tell people, we're gonna put it into a PDF and anyone who's listening can download it as actionable items because to that point,
Starting point is 00:53:22 exactly otherwise people just hear this passively when they're driving, right? Because they're on their way to something and then they don't act on it, right? They're like, oh, that sounds good. I'm gonna do that. Right, and then they don't. Because then they're listening to another podcast
Starting point is 00:53:37 talking about another thing. And that's the problem with all this personal development stuff sometimes is that like if people just chose one or two items to focus on yes and just did those as opposed to listening to a variety of stuff yeah a variety of stuff and then like doing nothing right so with that being said well last thought we'll end with is that people say all the time that they're trying to add tools to their toolbox right I'm like why just so you can carry around a heavy toolbox like what's the point if you're not going to use the two how many hammers do you need like if box. I have your toolbox. Like, what's the point? If you're not gonna use the tool,
Starting point is 00:54:05 how many hammers do you need? Like, if you're not gonna use the tools, then what's the point of adding them? I think some people, they get so much satisfaction by listening, reading, and watching to all of the new stuff, and it makes them feel good. I just listen to Jen's podcast, and I heard eight new things, man, this is awesome.
Starting point is 00:54:19 Well, if you don't do anything with it, it's less awesome. It's less awesome. Instead of, you might have heard eight things that you love, just pick one and do that one and do it consistently. Do it during the unseen hours and you'll see your life start to change and then when your life starts to change, then pick another one and do that one and then pick another one because we're in this for the long haul. I mean statistically speaking, borrowing some type of accident, I should have another 40 or 50 years on this planet. That's a lot of
Starting point is 00:54:43 time for me to start using these tools that I've been accumulating. You're accumulating. So let's wrap it with two things. Everyone, I want to ask you about those hot socks that you just brought me. Why did you bring me hot socks? Because it's a reminder to be where your feet are. So anytime you have those socks on, I just want you to think, I need to be present, I need to be in the moment wherever I am, make sure that's where I am. Oh, I love that. Be where your feet are.
Starting point is 00:55:08 That's why. I've heard Oprah and Nick Saban both say that quote, so I don't know who to attribute it to. Be where your feet are, is not an Allenstein junior original. I've got it from one of them, but to me it's one of the most powerful mindsets we can have. And I say it to myself, all of the time. Are those socks hot socks that you're mind yourself?
Starting point is 00:55:23 Yes, absolutely. Okay, I'm gonna wear them later. And then, I feel like I should those socks hot socks that you're mind yourself? Yes, absolutely. Okay, I'm going to wear them later. And then I feel like I should get a hot socks sponsorship or something. You should even talk exactly. Free advertising. I know, right? Yeah. I'm sure every podcast and any other thing you go on and you bring the host hot socks. And then the last thing is, what are your habits and rituals that you do every day? I have a few. One that the two that I'm most proud of is I make my bed every single day.
Starting point is 00:55:47 And I've been doing that long before the Navy Admiral came up with that. Not that I've just been doing that for a long time. And I've been doing the headspace guided meditation app. In fact, this morning was my 801st consecutive day doing it, because it keeps track on the app. Wow. So that's why I missed one day. it haven't missed a day. No, and I and I love the gamification again, I told you I'm competitive. So there you are. There
Starting point is 00:56:11 ain't no way I'm going to let that streak break. But those two things were most people think, how is making your bed going to do anything to change your life? With a simple win and a simple discipline. And by tenants of meditation every morning, I just start my day in a more peaceful and grounded way, which then helps me do whatever I'm gonna do next. So 10 minutes is not a lot. 10 minutes done every day for 800 straight days is a lot. And it's just like building something brick by brick.
Starting point is 00:56:37 One brick doesn't make this marriott. All right. Thousands of bricks makes this marriott. So that's where we have to look at it. 10 minutes. If you're only gonna do something 10 minutes one time, yeah, don't bother. If you're gonna do something 10 minutes every day
Starting point is 00:56:48 for the rest of your life, it can absolutely change. Yeah, consistency. That's great. Well, thank you so much for coming on the podcast. My pleasure. The book is called Raise Your Game by Alenstein Jr. And how do people find you? If they're interested in the book,
Starting point is 00:57:02 they can go to raiseyourgamebook.com or they can find anything about me at alansteinjunior.com. Can they buy this on Amazon? They absolutely can. I bought mine on Amazon. Or if they're mesmerized by my silky and sexy voice, they can get the audible, because I did the read for it.
Starting point is 00:57:15 So we heard it your first. Yeah. Thank you so much. Absolutely. Hope you enjoyed this episode. I'm Heather Monahan, host of Creating Confidence, a part of the Yap Media Network, the number one business and self improvement podcast network. Okay, so I want to tell you a little bit about my show. We are all about elevating your confidence to its highest level ever and taking your business right there with you.
Starting point is 00:58:07 Don't believe me, I'm gonna go ahead and share some of the reviews of the show so you can believe my listeners. I have been a longtime fan of Heather's no matter what phase of life I find myself in, Heather seems to always have the perfect gems of wisdom that not only inspire, but motivate me into action. Her experience and personality are unmatched,
Starting point is 00:58:25 and I love her go-getter attitude. This show has become a staple in my life. I recommend it to anyone looking to elevate their confidence and reach that next level. Thank you! I recently got to hear Heather at a live podcast taping with her and Tracy Hayes, and I immediately subscribe to this podcast. It has not disappointed,
Starting point is 00:58:43 and I cannot wait to listen to as many as I can, as quick as I can. Thank you, Heather, for helping us build confidence y a mí me han abierto a este podcast, no se ha desapoiado y me puedo esperar a Listen a lo que me puedo hacer, así que puedo. Gracias a tu madre para ayudarte a darme la confidentión y hacer mucho valor a este espacio. Si tú estás mirando a tu confidentión, crea la confidentión. para servir con la RAM 1500, la RAM 3500 y la RAM TRX. Ven ya por grandes ofertas en las camionetas hechas para servir. Ahora, durante la temporada RAM, obtén 10% menos de lm sorpía comprar la RAM 1500 long star
Starting point is 00:59:16 2021 equipada con motor V6. No compatible con ofertas de arriendo ni otras ofertas de incentivo al consumidor, consulta la agencia para detalles, domen trega minorista para el 5 de julio del 23. Otra sofertas de incentivo al consumidor, consulta la agencia para detalles. Dome entrega minorista para el 5 de julio del 23.

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