Habits and Hustle - Episode 7: Deepika Chopra – Optimism Doctor™ – The Science Behind The Law Of Attraction, Mindfulness, Affirmations and More!

Episode Date: April 16, 2019

Deepika Chopra is an OPTIMISM DOCTOR™ and Visual Imagery Expert. She’s also an all-around interesting person. If you’ve ever felt you need to re-train your brain, this conversation will give you new insight. Chopra talks about using your brain as a tool to optimize your life. She deep dives into the science behind everything including the law of attraction, mindfulness, affirmations, colors, happiness, and manifestation. Additionally, we discuss the benefits of therapy, managing expectations, and so much more. 📺 Youtube Link to This Episode Deepika’s Website ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Did you learn something from tuning in today? Please pay it forward and write us a 5-star review on Apple Podcasts. 📧If you have feedback for the show, please email [e-mail]  📙Get yourself a copy of Jennifer Cohen’s newest book from Habit Nest, Badass Body Goals Journal. ℹ️Habits & Hustle Website 📚Habit Nest Website 📱Follow Jennifer – Instagram – Facebook – Twitter – Jennifer’s Website Set furnished by Fernish Art by ArtSugar Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Vitamin water zero sugar just dropped in all new taste was zero holding back on flavor. You can be your all feeling. I'll play and all self-care you. Grab the all new taste today. Vitamin water zero sugar nourish every you. Vitamin water is a registered trademark of glass O. And we have D pick a doctor D pick a show broad today who I am over the moon to have you for I did a panel with Dr. D pick a Chopra and she was so I thought so great and so full of so much information that I practically begged her to come on this podcast. She is listen to this everyone, she is an optimism doctor, a happiness researcher, and a visual imagery expert. How is that for a title? First of all, mouthful.

Yeah, also not the easiest name, but you kind of got it. Dr. Deepika? Deepika. Deepika. Yeah, Chopra. Yeah, we were just, you got it actually. I mean, I have a bad, we were just talking earlier how I have a really bad bar name. So I should just make up new names all the time. But actually that was really good.

I thought I practiced to make sure. Now, your title, I mean, there's a lot of them, there's three of them, but optimism doctor. I have not met many. I think you're probably one the only one. Do you have you met another? Because I actually made up that title. No, I was gonna say, to be honest.

My lawyer's gotta talk to them. It's trademark, man. Actually, to be honest, I didn't. No, no, no, you know what? I've never met a happiness doctor, an optimism doctor, and that's why I was basically on your flies to shit that day because I really thought

what you do is fascinating and so helpful for especially in today's time. So is there a lot of people who do what you do? Happiness stuff as a profession. Yeah, so I don't know many, but I do know that now when I was in grad school, definitely not. I have a doctorate in clinical health psychology and when I want when I was studying happiness and visual imagery and optimism and all these things, it was kind of not really welcomed,

it was a little bit like woo-woo for the science people, but for the woo-woo people, it was too sciencey. For what I was doing, so I kind of felt like I didn't really belong anywhere, but I kept going and now I finally feel like we are in a time and space where I feel very much like I belong and it's sort of like this is the time for sort of like all the holistic wellness that's a trend now but also people are hungry for

real science-based knowledge on wellness and on these topics and what's really cool is there's amazing institutions now that devote everything in behavioral science to happiness. Harvard has a program, Yale's got a program, Berkeley's got a program, program. We're really amazing researchers are doing these things. And what's the research, is it besides research, are there people going out there in the world to be a professional at teaching happiness then? Or what is... I don't know, actually.

I don't know. I just kind of like, I came into this like very non-linearly. I actually, to start, believe it or not, like everything out of undergrad, I was an investment banker. You were in a career? For a year. For a year. I lasted a year. Yeah. That was my first job. I was a capital markets analyst for investment,

a boutique investment, thinking firm. You're kidding me. Yeah. And then what? Like you thought, hmm, not for me, I'm going to become...

Yeah. Well, so not even, like, even less linear than that. I knew that it wasn't everything I wanted to do. There were aspects of what I was doing that I loved, and it was mostly, I was on the deal-making side, and so I loved the cycle.

I guess now I can say in retrospect, I didn't know what to call it then, but I loved the psychology behind deal-making, and I felt like I was really good at it, but the other stuff I could kind of care less about, and I wanted something more. I've always been, I guess, to preface this with, I've always been a highly sensitive person,

and I was that way as a child, and I always sort of pond this with, I've always been a highly sensitive person. And I was that way as a child. And I always sort of like pondered these like, I don't know, I guess I was drawn to like, I was definitely the most philosophical person like in my family for a really little human. And it was like a lot, it was, it was a bit much probably. But I was always pondering these things and wanting to know why. And I wanted more. And so raising capital for companies, although it was challenging and there was aspects of it, I really liked. It wasn't enough and I ended up quitting my

job on a Monday and I flew to Japan on a Wednesday and I think I was like 21 at that time because I graduated undergrad a little bit early. I don't know why I was rushing to work. I mean, it was so silly. But yeah, but you're obviously an overachiever. I mean, it sounds like that was probably your pattern and your path when I when I like something Yeah,, I, there's really no stopping. And it just, I will do everything. It's kind of like, right now, motherhood for me. Right.

You're also a new mom. Yes, I have a 21 month old son who is my everything. His name's Jag. Jag means universe. I love that name. Congratulations. Thank you. So anyway, yeah, I flew to Japan on a Wednesday. It was the most

spontaneous thing I've ever done and I'm not that much of like a risk-taker or that spontaneous of a person, but I just I felt called to be there. I think it was like a really cliche soul-searching trip because I felt like I had no idea what I want to do, but I wanted to leave the the firm. So I flew there and I spent about a month and a half, almost two months in the countryside. And there's a few things I learned there that were interesting. Number one, I learned that I really wanted to work with people. And I liked the business side of things, but I didn't really know what I wanted to call it, but I wanted to do something more for people. Like on a more personal level.

I knew that. And then the second thing I learned there is holy crap, I need to be hugged. People in Japan don't hug. They don't touch. And I loved everything about Japan, but like literally a week in, I was like, why am I feeling so weird? It was like, no one has hugged me. I'm like, oh, no, it's right.

It's a bunch of person true, right? I was like, I was tell people they're like, what did you learn there? And I was like, yes, a lot of the soul searching stuff, but like, sounds crazy, but I learned that like, I need to be touched. Right. The importance of like human connection. Yeah.

And for me, person, maybe, you know, they have different, I mean, they have such a rich culture. And it was amazing. I love Japan. It was amazing being there. But I just wasn't part of their culture. Their thing. And for me, like, I'm a really, I'm a huggy person. I'm a, yeah, I'm a very huggy person. And so I, it was so funny. I,

I like, rode a lot there. And I remember like, after a week, sort of like, reflecting on things. I'm like, wow, like, I'm feeling all these things because I haven't touched someone in a week. And just like, I haven't hugged someone or, you know, haven't had that type of interaction. And so that's always a funny, like, little thing that I learned there. But I didn't know I was going to learn. So then what happened?

You come back to America? I came back to America. I came back to America. I'm a happiness doctor because I'm like so miserable right now. Not even that linear. I'm not even there yet. Yeah. I came back and I was like, I got this opportunity

to work in public health. And so I worked for a company that it was really cool. They were developing a product during the time the avian bird flu was a huge thing. And they were this company that was created this ventilator. What about a year ago? What was that? This was like 2000 and maybe six. Oh, six.

Okay, well, yeah. I think I could be off by a year or so. and maybe six. Oh, six. Okay, well, yeah. I think I could be off by a year or so. But yeah, it was a great thing. It was a lot of work between the company and the WHO and stuff like that. But these things move really slow. And so I kind of got just thrown back into,

like, you have experience in the deal-making side. So I kind of got thrown with the other part of my time with M&A, with the company, so mergers and acquisitions, which was, again, the deal-making side. So I kind of got thrown with the other part of my time with M&A, with the company, so mergers and acquisitions, which was again the deal-making so interesting, but not really everything I wanted to do. And there I had an amazing boss who just was like, I call him like this then master. He was this amazing person that he just like really took me under his wing and at all the management meetings that we had, like this was a company that had a basis in Cheshom, England, and in Seattle.

So I was going back and forth between the two and we have this really interesting for all the upper management, like a way meeting, an off-site meeting in Calais, France. I'll never forget this because he brought an organizational psychologist for us, for fun, or also just for better management skills. And he sort of like really witnessed and watched and he took me aside after and said, you really lit up with a lot of this like sort of the psychological component of everything. And I see that when you are, you know, when we're doing research for the deal making and it's all people oriented. And if you ever thought about, he said organizational psych, but I was like, no, I wasn't even a psych undergrad.

Like I don't, but yes, that really peaks my interest and you're right. I was really turned on by that. So again, I quit and I came back to Japan. I came back to, yeah, no, I came back to LA and I went back to my alma mater. I went to UCLA and I knocked on every single door at UCLA Neurosycheiatric Institute. And I like begged every single person, can I just volunteer for you? Can I intern for you?

I just need to know if like going down this path of psychology is for me because it's a lot of years. Yeah, school. A lot of years. Yeah, and I met two lovely supervisors. One of them was research-based and one of them was more clinical. And I worked for both of them for an entire, almost an entire year while I was doing all the prerequisites to apply to grad school because I wasn't a psych undergrad, so there was a lot of classes missing to apply. And I completely fell in love with obviously the clinical part. I liked the research part too, but it was the clinical part. And the first job I ever had with that was I worked

with OCD patients, which was so interesting. It was so interesting. And it was kind of the first place that I learned that, like sometimes the things that you think you should do intuitively are actually not the best things to do treatment-wise for people. So a sort of little quick example on that is with the OCD patients, these are severe OCD patients that UCLA has a great program and there's something called exposure therapy. And so intuitively when someone was having a lot of anxiety

and that's really saying it like, you're mildly, yeah. Yes, mildly. I was like, I forgot the word mildly, thank you. Intuitively, you're like, let's take away this thing that's making them anxious. Like that's what I would think to do. But in exposure therapy, and what I was actually there to do was to keep them in it and sort

of like, essentially putting someone through like their worst fear and exposing them to it in like a controlled environment. But it was sort of this first really important lesson that I learned a that like wow like real psychological disorders are there and people are really struggling with it's not just I mean I watched things on OCD like in movies and they like romanticize it you know like there's what was it the av, right? That movie about the avi. Yeah. Right, right, with some Leonardo DiCaprio. Yeah. I think also what happens is people say it like in a fleeting way,

like I say it, but myself like, oh, I have such OCD, I have to fix this. Right. I have such OCD. That's why that, like, you say it very flippantly. Yes. Yeah. We did that with depression too.

We do that. Right. I think the reason we do that. I think the reason we do that is because all of these psychological week categorize them as disorders. They really don't have to be called disorders. But all of them are literally just based on real emotions, the whole spectrum of emotions, we all feel, but they're just to what degree and how much they're impacting their life and stopping them from living a functioning life. And so we all do experience.

A happy life, right? And we all do experience all those things. We experience some of the things that go into diagnosed, quote unquote, someone with depression. We've all experienced all those things. We've all experienced some of these, like me, I say it all the time too,

where I'm like, oh, I'm, I'm, I'm air on the side of OCD, but you know, it's just becoming a mom. But when you really see someone going through it, you really respect and you're humbled, and you're like, okay, this is real. And my first day, first ever day, just this little intern volunteer

who had like no experience, was to take my patient at the time down to Starbucks in Westwood. And she, her type of anxiety was related to just touching objects and things that hers was very specific, but it was like she thought there was like blood everywhere. Like little, they might be someone's blood or someone's bodily fluid. She was scared to touch certain things. Yes. And so, you know, we went to Starbucks and I opened the door for her. I went in, she went in, we got our drinks, we came out,

and all of a sudden, this is a very crazy story. There was a shootout in Westwood, where they were like, police everywhere, and they told us to get down on the floor. And this is my first day with the PSDP. Yes. Yes. Who was scared to be out on a good day And this is my first day with the OCDP. Yes. Yes. Who was scared to be out on a good day even. And now I'm scared, obviously.

I'm trying to be like, OK, we got this. But we're on the floor, like face in the pavement. I'm kind of looking up, like making sure when can we go. And then the police officers sort of signaled to us after a little bit of time. I don't even know how much time went by, because I was also like what is going on. And he said we could leave. So everything somehow was under control and we started walking away and she was really her anxiety was very elevated. And so I was asking her, are you okay? Like checking in about the experience and all she kept saying was when we left, like, you left and your hair is down and my hair is down and the hair blue my hair blue and it touched the door

And do you feel nervous about the door because I saw a red spot on the door and I'm pretty sure my hair touched the door And then my hair blew into my mouth She didn't even know we just went through like this whole hold up where she did But that didn't that's not what bothered her her hair had touched the door frame of Starbucks And then the wind blew it in her mouth and she thought maybe she had someone else's blood in her mouth. Oh my God. And that really put things in perspective. Oh, real?

Yeah. And the work that I ended up getting to do there for a year was incredible. Keep coming back. You got plenty of space. Oof, not how you would have done that. You like working with people you can rely on. Like USAA, who has helped guide the military community for the past 100 years. USAA, get a quote today. Vitamin water just dropped a new zero sugar flavor called with love. Get the taste of raspberry

and dark chocolate for the all warm. All fuzzy, all self-care, zero self-doubt you. Grab a with love today. Vitamin water, zero sugar, nourish every you. Vitamin water is a registered trademark of glass O. So that was really like your breakthrough moment, so to speak, as optimism, doctor, really. Like in what, and like how to heal people, like, behave really, I would imagine.

Yeah, so it was mainly more just like, hey, I really want to do this. This is so interesting. And after being there a year, and I got to work with her particularly for the whole year. And I did like home visits with her. And I like, something that we were doing, and I can't take all the credit, like I was taught it. And, but something I was implementing with her, like, was changing her life. She was able, after some time to like go, there were things that she couldn't do that

were so sad to me, like, she couldn't date, and she couldn't go to her parents' house, and she couldn't sit on the couch. She couldn't buy, like, when she bought clothes, she would wash them first, and, like, just all these things she couldn't do, and after, like, working with her, I realized, like, we made so much progress, and her life was starting to change, and I was like, this is what I couldn't do. And after like working with her, I realized like we made so much progress and her life was starting to change. And I was like, this is what I want to do. But was it, okay, so what you were doing with her

at that point, I guess, wasn't yet what you were doing now. Not at all. So like that's like, so but that's still like changing or helping people with their behaviors. I definitely found at that moment, like this is my calling. I applied to grad school right away. And I got in, I did my masters and then completed a doctorate and throughout it while I was in school learning about all the different

theoretical perspectives and doing all my clinical trainings and hours and hours and hours with patients and clients, I started to, I was really interested in the science of the brain and I was really interested in sort of everything I kept coming up with when I was really interested in the science of the brain, and I was really interested in sort of everything I kept coming up with when I was doing this research and looking at all the research already been done before me was that our brains are anticipatory organs. So everything about our brain is, like, our brains are acting in the future.

When we see something, our brain is actually telling us what we see before our our brain is actually telling us what we see before our visual cortex actually sees it. So everything about our brain is in anticipation of something and it's the most anticipatory brilliant organ. And so I started to think like all these therapies that I'm learning to do with people that are really past driven, they're not really speaking to me.

And I feel like, you know, within it, like sure, a lot of it was really useful. And I credit everything to having done a doctorate program and having all those hours. And I think you really do need that when you're working with people. You can't just be like, I want to work with people, which a lot of people do these days as coaches. As coaches, as a thing for me. Yeah, and I really like learned so much from there. But what I also learned throughout all the hours and years of the school. Yeah, and I really like learned so much from there, but what I also learned throughout all the hours and years of the program was that something was really missing, and I've

always been someone that was raised kind of to think about the future, and also a lot of my father and mother are both pretty optimistic people. And when I started like, I mean doctors or, um, no, which actually is another interesting thing. People are always thinking that I am Dr. Deepak Chopra's daughter. Right. I do know him. I do know him. Um, because funny story, my dad and him both live in Southern California. And in the 80s, they were getting each other's mail. People must have a mistake. So we became family friends. But, um, and that's funny. Yeah. So, yeah. My dad's name is Deepak. Are you kidding? Yeah. That's, yeah. So, Dr. Deepak Chopra, Dr. Deepak Chopra, and now Dr. Deepak Chopra. So, you could understand whether

it be some kind of like confusion, right? And especially for like what I do, you know, I'm less spiritual, but you know, right, but you're still in the same vein for sure. Right. And so basically I was really interested in like, I started to do things down to like the way people have emotions or their feelings are all pretty much to do down to like something they're expecting to happen. So if you are expecting something, that could be in a future moment.

So that could be in a minute from now, five minutes from now, a month from now, a year from now. If you're expecting something bad to happen, you have a negative emotion. If you're expecting something good to happen, you have a positive emotion. So I started getting deeper and deeper into it, and I started coming up with, we don't always get what we want, but we always pretty much get what we expect. So our brains are so efficient that a great example I always get, or I think it's great, maybe it's not great, but when I'm speaking to a large group, you be the judge. When I'm speaking to a large group of people, I always ask, I'm like, how many people here want to win the lottery? And pretty much every single person's hand goes up. Everyone wants to win the lottery.

Okay, from scale of one to 10, like how badly do you want to win the lottery if you were given the chance? 10, nine, you know, I want to win the, who wouldn't? So all these people that really, really want to win the lottery, how many of you guys bought Lotto tickets today? None, zero hands. But I'm not surprised because our brains don't expect to win

so we don't take the action to put forth to do anything that puts us in a situation that we can't win. That's so true, that's right. So it's kind of like that is right on the heels of why people and why it's so research, it's been proven that really how you visualize your future or yourself is what manifests itself. Yes.

So there's this trigger word right now that, for a while, I was a little bit like, irked by it, but now I'm kind of loving it. So I did my dissertation many years ago now, I'm 10 years ago now, on this idea of evidence-based manifestation, all about optimism and using visual imagery as a tool to increase people's optimism. So to increase people's positive thoughts

about the future, which again, could mean one minute from now, five minutes from now or like a year from now. And then over the course of the last couple of years, it's been sort of this idea of manifestation has sort of like really been coming up. And maybe it's because we live in LA. But I think it's starting to come up in a lot of places. Like there's even, you's even this idea of manifestation.

I grew up listening to the work of Abraham Hicks, a lot of attraction. A lot of attraction. Yeah, of course. So my best friend's mom was super into that, and she used to give me tapes, like cassette tapes, and then it was CDs, and I would listen to it. That was really popular. It was still to it. And that was really popular. Still is actually a popular.

It's still really popular. Totally. And they wrote a book called Ask and It is Given. And it's kind of the basis of what every sort of person I've met in like doing manifestation work, sort of it's what the secret was based off of. But that was like the the first work. And so I love that stuff, but I'm also someone that is a, as much as I am someone that loves holistic and spiritual things, because I have such a big part of me in that, and I think maybe it's because of my culture or how I was raised, but also I'm someone that has an equal need and desire for like why, and the science behind things, and I think that's literally why I do what I do

Because I was raised like that and then even not just for my parents But I was the only one listening to those tapes because my best friends mom introduced me to them But I wanted to know why because the way in which Abraham Hicks sort of you'll see when you look it up, but gets their message is very I wasn't down with it then I had to ignore that part It was like a spirit sort of name Abraham talking to them, right? Which now I'm much more of a spiritual person, but as a younger kid like in high school,

I was sort of like, I mean, I'm getting a lot out of this, but I like don't want to focus on where it's coming from. Right. And so you like the overall philosophy of it, but not changing my life. And so I want to know why. And I think when I was, it was the perfect opportunity when I was in

the doctoral program, and I was studying sort of the brain and behavioral science, like I started to understand why. Okay, why? So again, expectation, the brain being this anticipatory organ, things like self-fulfilling prophecy. It's all rooted.

So let's just break this down, because so you're, so basically it's based on self-fulfilling process. Yes. Okay. Expectation, visualizations. Yes. And what was it, you're gonna say. So it's all sort of this idea that we have a limited

availability of attention for our brain. People think it's kind of unlimited, but actually it's limited. And so it's this idea of finding a way, like using your brain as a tool, and finding a way to put into your brain the type of attention you want it to focus on. So an example I like to give,

I'm all about these like really little sort of tangible examples, because I think this stuff can get kind of heady. Absolutely, that's what this whole podcast is about. I want tangible examples where people can understand it and apply it. And I need those too, myself, to understand these things. So go for a deepaka, the storage yours.

So Deepaka, yes, I know, tricky. So it's kind of like an example that for me was really big that I sort of was working with because I, you know, I live in LA and like when I got my first car. I got my first car and all of a sudden it was a pewter color Tahoe. Do you remember the Tahoe, like Tahoe was really big. Yeah, I were like a smaller version of a suburban Chevy Tahoe. And I went out on the freeway They were like a smaller version of a suburban, Chevy Tahoe. And I went out on the freeway and I was driving and all of a sudden, everywhere around me,

parking lots, freeways, everywhere I was, everyone had the same color Tahoe. And I was like, God, did I just pick like the trendy car or like what's going on? No, they were always there. It's just my attention now was drawn and focused on this pewter silvery color Tahoe. And so I use this example all the time, or this other example where I'm like, tomorrow, I want you to focus on blue shirts.

I just want you to wake up in the morning, and I want you to think really hard and visualize a blue shirt, someone wearing a blue shirt, you wearing a blue shirt. You go out in the world and all of a sudden, all these people are wearing blue shirts. Everyone's wearing blue shirts. It's not because I paid them around you and I want to make my point, it's because the blue shirts were always there,

it's just you weren't attuned to it. Your brain wasn't focusing on them. Right, so it's basically like I was gonna say, it's wherever your brain, whatever your brain focuses on, focuses on gets the attention. Yeah. And therefore that's what kind of becomes

the big thing in your space, in your life. And then further than that, our brains like to be right, because we're efficient, right? The more we're right, the more we're going to focus on something. So that goes for negative thoughts as well as positive ones. If you're always thinking, if you have a core belief about something, and it's negative, and it's maybe your core belief is you don't deserve love or you don't like yourself. Like people have that core belief and they go out

in the world and they're constantly finding evidence to make that true. And I'm not surprised by that. They have a whole list of evidence because our brain is a self-affilling prophecy. Our brain wants to go out and seek further evidence to make this thought that we think about so much and spend so much of our attention on truth. So it's this cycle. And so my point in all that was I was understanding all of that in my graduate program and with the people I was seeing and the tools that I had at my availability at the time. And I could pinpoint that out and sort of be like, okay, yes, cognitive behavioral sort of strategy say that you're thinking

this because of this and you have this negative belief because of this. But I was always kind of stopped with like, then what? These people are coming to me and they're sort of like, this isn't working for me. And I've been doing this for so long. And maybe they had gone through a whole other part of therapy that was more like Freudian based. And they could even say like, I know I'm this way because of this relationship I had with my father or blah, blah, blah.

And they knew that. And I think that's really useful. And I'm not saying take any of that away. But I was at a point where I was like, okay, like, then what? So it's not working for them. And I would always go to my supervisors and I'm like, I want to give them something that actually works. What can I do? That's real. And I also wasn't really a fan of sitting across the room from someone and sort of only offering like, being a mirror. And sort of saying like, well, yeah, I hear that. I hear your feeling sad. I don't know.

And then what? Exactly. Well, that's a lot of what happens with a lot of therapists, right? Yeah. And then I see my friends all the time who are like, where are you going now along with therapy? I'm like, you've been for the last seven years.

And like, nothing's getting, I mean, it just becomes part of your day to day schedule or your weekly schedule, but they're not getting anywhere. Yeah. It's a whole now what thing. Right, the now what. And so, and I am not again discounting because I think there's so much benefit in therapy and also just giving someone a space to a safe space to do that and to interpret things

on their own. But for me personally, I didn't feel like I was best at just being that. What I wanted to offer was the now what? And so my whole everything shifted for me around my like, so after my masters, but around maybe my like second year of my doctorate. And I started getting really deep. And we talked about this before. The only sort of like at that time, the only sort of research I could really find in all of this was in sports psychology. So that kind of, and particularly golf psychology, because it is a mental game. It's a mental game.

And so I did so much, just like basically my whole project was I took all the research that was out there and put it all together and made like a, I deduced all this stuff from the whole research. What did you find? What were your findings with all the stuff that you found? So I really focused, you had to be really specific in what you focused on in your dissertation. But I really focused on this idea of first why it was important, everything we're just talking about now, why it was important to even think about the idea of positive directed

thinking or optimism versus pessimism. And then further, I really wanted to look at this tool that I had been studying and seeing all this science research on visual imagery and visualization using all your senses as a tool to increase that, to shift your thoughts and really to shift your expectation. Since that's sort of where I thought, to me, that's the secret. It's less about, I mean, sure, the wanting is important, but it's how do you change the expectations? How do you suppose changing your expectations?

Yes. So I always, when I work with, first of all, I have to like, preface this with, I feel like it's almost like a public service, is that PSA? Yeah, public service. To say, every time I speak about optimism, I have to always like, preface with.

I'm not speak, to me, when I'm saying this from my point of view, I don't define an optimist as someone that's positive all the time. And that's like really important. And a true optimist is someone that sees roadblocks and the setbacks, they're fully aware of them. They're actually so aware of them, but they see them as temporary

and something that they have the ability and power to overcome, and that's an optimist. A pessimist, on the other hand, or someone more, I can't just call them a pessimist, someone more on the pessimistic side. Yeah, a spectrum. Is someone that sees those same roadblocks and setbacks and they see them as real

problems, static problems that are not gonna change and They're permanent and they don't have any ability to sort of like overcome that. You know this sounds a lot like It sounds a lot like mental performance coaching Because it's the same stuff that I Talk about and learn. Yeah, because it's really about having a fixed mindset or an elite mindset. And I'm just gonna compare it for a second. And that's pessimist or optimist.

Do you see yourself as growing and you can jump over that hurdle? Or do you see it, as you said, a pessimist who's fixed and this is what it is? And I guess my question is, what do you do in your world? What are the, where are some behaviors or things that you can work? How do people change that? How do you become, how do you go from being a pessimist to being an optimist?

So first of all, I also have to preface it with, I have an optimism scale that one of my like types of sessions that I work with people on is having them answer a set of questions and then I can look at it and really say how optimistic they are. So I truly believe we all have aspects of pessimism and optimism. So it's actually not really fair for me to say you're an optimist or you're a pessimist. But people swayed on one side versus the other. And they do an in different realms. So I can say, like, I'm I think of myself as a pretty optimistic person in a lot of realms. When it comes to medical things or my health, I'm Woody Allen. Yeah, like I'm literally. I'm so pessimistic. Right. And I know exactly why, but I'm always trying to work on it. I'm working on it just like all my clients are working on different things. I too am a human and working on it. I'm not like a preacher. And I'm going to say that I'm always trying to work on it. I'm working on it just like all my clients are working on different things. I too am a human and working on it. I'm not like a preacher and I'm gonna say that I'm like the most optimistic person in all realms.

And I know why because I collect evidence left right in center about all these like crazy one-off random health things that happened to me. I was just telling you about my pregnancy where I threw up 30 plus times a day until the day I delivered and that's called hyper-emesis gravaderum and I was told less than 2% of the population of pregnant women have it and I was not surprised that I had it. Right, right, right. That's just me feeding into, there's also, I'm also 35 years old, not gone wood, and like a pretty healthy person, I don't have any major health

concerns and I often forget that. I don't focus on that. I focus on the weird random one-off things. Instead of focusing, the majority of my life is I experience positive health. And so what gets exaggerated or exacerbated is that, so how do you change that back to my question? How do you get better at that? I know there must be some kind of tricks or behavioral tricks, I should say, that you can work on. Yeah. So that is what we do in my practice. But also, I can say a couple things because I like, we could only, we could talk here for hours about that. That's what we do. That's what we do. Yeah. So a big thing for me is I like things that are measurable. So we really work with not just on the whole of like, how can I be more optimistic in general? It's more like, here's a certain core belief that I have and it's a negative one. So let's say, for example, someone that leaves the example of someone that their core belief, they don't really like themselves. So they actually have a core belief of I don't like myself. Another thing I'm going to say that

might be a little controversial these days, but I'm fully plant my feet firmly in this statement. I don't believe in blanket affirmation statements as being beneficial or good to everyone. So people talk about affirmations all day long and it's a big thing right now and I believe they're very useful for a very small group of people which is someone that maybe just needs a little boost but they're pretty they're doing really well emotionally and mentally. And so that's a good point. So affirmations you think work when you're already emotionally at a certain place.

So I think affirmations and I think affirmations work well when you believe them. So if you're someone that your core belief is, I don't really like myself. And then someone tells you and prescribes you like their way. And this is why sometimes like the coaching thing can be, there's some amazing coaches out there. But sometimes I think like the majority of who I've seen and maybe I haven't seen enough, but of like life coaches or people working with like, they can get a shingle on their door

and call themselves whatever, right? Yeah, or they don't even have to do that. They can just be like, I'm a life coach today. Right, and I think the problem with that is, I think that's great. Like it's amazing that people can do that. But the problem is I think a's great. Like it's it's amazing that that people can do that But the problem is I think a lot of them the tools they use are affirmations and some people that are coming to them are people that actually Like are not in that small population that are like doing really well and

They don't so basically Let's say this person like we said for example. I don't like myself. That's their core value And then someone you know prescribes them. I really want you to, every morning when you wake up, I want you to look in the mirror, put post-it notes on the mirror, and I want you to say, I love myself. And then I want you, before you go to sleep at night, to look in that same mirror, when you're getting ready and you're brushing your teeth, and I want you to say three times, five times, that whatever the number is, I love myself. That is probably the worst thing that person could do because our brains are efficient and powerful and The minute you say I love myself, but your deep core belief is I don't like myself

It starts coming up with every single possible evidence of why that's not true and you feel shameful and guilty and Just like you're lying to yourself and all the other evidence comes up. What I would rather them do and so this is something that that we would work on if I was with this person. I put them on a spectrum. I'm like how much do you not like yourself? Okay it's a 10. We draw a line. They're already over here. The thing I love myself would be at zero all the way over here, right? Like it's kind of like when you're driving a car super fast, down in a highway, and all of a sudden you just like make a turn, a U-turn.

You're gonna crash, you have to slow down and make a turn. You can't just like go from zero to 60. Yeah, we're not like in fast and furious here, we don't all drive like Vendizel. Right, exactly. You're gonna crash and burn. Right. And so it's the same thing. I'd rather, I would like to ask them, you know, if you could think of one thing, just one thing, that you kind of like about yourself, like in a very casual way. And they might be like, yeah, okay. And I say, I'm not taking away from you,

this core belief that maybe you've spent 40 years working on, but you don't like yourself. And you probably have tons of reasons why. And let's just keep that there. We're not going to disprove that right now. But can you just tell me one thing you kind of like about yourself and like make it specific? And if they're like, well, I really like how loyal I am or I like my sense of humor or I tell a good joke. And then I ask them from one to one to 10, how much do you believe that? So how much do you believe your loyal or a good friend? Oh, I believe that like eight. My rule is if you believe something a statement more than seven out of ten, that is your affirmation.

I would much prefer that they look in the mirror three times and say, I love how loyal I am. The more that they're gonna say that and put that attention in their brain, that's true and sincere and believable. The more evidence they're going to start collecting, to prove that, to continue to prove that to be true. And the more they're filling their brain up with that, the more they're going to the right over there. To I like myself, but they're going slowly. And once you start changing the direction of your car, even if you're traveling slow, the more you're going down that highway, the faster it starts getting. And you will reach that, but we're not trying to just make a flip into something that's completely unbelievable. Right.

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For coverage, consult your health insurance company, visit the pharmacy or our site for details. That's a great, I like that. I think that that makes a lot of sense. Because, again, it's with authenticity, right? And there's like meaning behind it. It's not like, okay, I love myself. I love myself. It sounds very like, it just sounds very trite and arbitrary, in a way, versus like really kind of digging deep and thinking, hmm, because there must be one thing about everybody that they actually make them special

or that actually they can find. And it can be so small, it can be tiny. And it can be something, I prefer it to be something emotional, but it can be something physical. Like it could start there if that's all somewhere someone could start. Right. And so I think that's a behavioral change and that's really like shifting. Yeah. This is about the long run. Right. And so I think like that and that's a behavioral change and that's really like

shifting. Yeah. This is about the long run. Right. It's like the long haul. It's not just short. It's not about the short term gratifications, but making a real change over time and and and it lasting. So that's a good one. And I'm all for like, you know, like I said, I listen to tapes of the law of attraction since I was in high school. But I'm much more about like sure. I love to ask a higher power or the universe for something I want, but I'm much more interested in the you in universe. Like ask it totally, put it out there.

But like we have to do a lot of work and you have to do a lot of work to realize that. That's 100% true. People think if they just put it out there, well I asked for it, I asked God for this. But that's not enough. Right. Like what do they actually believe and what do they expect? Absolutely.

It goes back to expectations. Everything always goes back to the expectations. So then how about the idea of like fake it to you make it or believe it to achieve it? What do you believe about that? Do you think that works? So I think there is a time and place for that. And I especially saw that to be true in the clinical practice I was at.

With like a population that was already emotionally at a certain place. Is what you mean? No, I actually saw it with a population that was like a little more unwell. In the sense of like, there was so little they could actually come up with like a believable thing that was positive. And I like the fake it till you make it with an action rather than like a thought. So like having them do something that maybe made

them feel better like taking a walk before having them like fake and actual like I, you know, can lose weight. And I think that I deserve to like my body deserves to be healthy. Do you know what I mean? Like instead of thinking like doing a switch that like required their mind or their thought or their belief to actually action and action. That maybe like I was giving them actions to do that after and it's sort of manipulative, what I do,

but in a positive way. It's like, it's positive manipulations. It is. And like sort of maybe after like a few weeks of us doing that, I could use that as evidence for them to show them, like, but you've been walking. Right. And you said you couldn't.

And you are. You know, something little that disproves. First of all, I have to, I have to help them realize and prove to them that they can actually do something, they do it. Do something that they think that they can't do, or they can change a thought. Because a lot of people that come to me, obviously, just every human kind of at some point, believes that like, I just think these things and I can't control it. Or like, I just feel this and there's no way I can change it.

Like, I am sad. Or like, I think that I'm not lovable and I know that I'm not. And what do you mean I can change it? Like, my thoughts, I don't choose what goes in my brain. They just come, they happen to me. So first I have to have someone prove to them with evidence that like, they actually can change their

thought or do something differently. And another like example I use when it's like really I have someone like writes with their right hand and they've been writing with their right hand their whole life or whenever they started writing. And then I say to them like here pick up the pencil with your left hand. I want you to write your name or like the word the with your left hand. It can be done. They can do it. It looks ugly. And then I say, imagine if you, if something happened to your right hand, and you had to write with your left hand, do you see how like you wrote the,

it may not be pretty, but do you see that if you did that every day or 10 times a day for a certain period of time, it probably would start getting pretty, right? So right. So again, I think it's like, it's practice with everything, like your brain, you train your brain, you practice, I think it. So, it's about really like practicing the, you know, the affirmation that is very specific. Yeah, that's believable.

That's believable, it's about acting as if by doing an action, not just, so there has to be something. So like, how about this whole visual, you said like a visual imagery. Yeah. Where would that be? Like, I'm going to give you an example.

Like, if someone wanted to lose 50 pounds, I'm just making this up, okay? Yeah. And they gained the gain 50 pounds. They want to go back to where they were. What a good visual be to take pictures of how they looked when they were that way and then put them around their house. So they remember themselves as

they were without me. Consider that or so. I love that you brought this up actually because this was an exact patient I had when I was at theaters. Oh, and I used something that again was kind of like a visual manipulative way of having them visualize something. So I think for people that are sort of like higher functioning emotionally speaking, if you ask someone to visualize something a lot of times they can. They can visualize like this goal or you know this thing that they want. But someone that's a little bit, you know, they're stuck. They're stuck

deeper. What was amazing, again, about going back to like having clinical background is you got to work with patients that like, it was the hard stuff. So when you're working with a population now, like I work with a population now, that's like more higher functioning emotionally. And more like everyday people like you and I that want to optimize their life, it's a lot easier because you already are there, but you can visualize. So I always love this example. This just reminded me of this patient I was working with who wanted to lose 50 pounds, but it was so unbelievable to her.

She had been overweight for so long and there was a lot of other things happening with core beliefs of not really liking herself and not feeling that she was deserving. And so when I asked her, like, you know, to visualize being 50 pounds lighter, she couldn't. Like it made her, like there was a block. There's no way it was so unbelievable to her that she couldn't even imagine it. And so instead of that, I sort of asked her this leading question, and I said, you know, blah, blah, blah. Who's the first person you're going to tell when you lose 50 pounds? And she said, my mom, and I said, oh, cool. Like, what's that conversation going to look like? Where are you? Oh, I'm actually in my closet. What are you wearing?

This red dress, I just saw at the store two weeks ago that I'm dying to buy, but like it's, you know, a size XYZ. Right. Really, that's so cool. Like, what is the room smell like? What are the sounds that are happening right now? What's your mom saying? How do you feel? She just visualized being 50 pounds lighter. And now her brain, like our brains kind of don't know the difference. Our neurons are going off about like what's real in real life and what actually we're visualizing. So that's one reason my visual imagery is so powerful. It's sort of like when you watch Dancing with the Stars, your neurons in your brain don't actually know the difference between you actually dancing and you watching someone

dancing, which comes back to sports psychology, like being able to visualize a shot or, you know, a stroke. You're actually putting your neurons are firing the same way they would if you actually did it. So we're already one step closer. She feels like it's one step closer to being believable because she's visualized it now using all her senses. And then, but in that moment, right? Because you're pulling it out of her by saying, where are you standing? Where are you smelling it?

Then what? So now she has an image. Okay. We always go back to the same thing. The red dress, the closet, the way it smells, the phone ringing in the background. Like, so the more specific you are, the more senses you incorporate into your visualization or your visual imagery practice, the absolute better.

And there's certain times when a third person visual imagery works better than like a first person, they did this incredible study on voters. And they sort of like asked a bunch of people, are you going to vote tomorrow? I think it was tomorrow, maybe it was in a couple, I think it was the next day. And I might be watching like some of this a little bit in the details, but the gist is there. And you could look up the study probably by just researching voters, visual, imagery or something. Okay, I'll be with you.

Yeah, and it was like they had a group of people just say, I'm going to vote. And then they had a group of people that visualized in third person like watched themselves voting. And the majority of people that actually voted the next day were the ones that visualized it from third person rather than the ones that just said, I will vote. Because they saw themselves voting. They believed they would vote. And they almost like, it was almost like they owed it to themselves because they already

saw it, that they were accountable to do it, and they voted. And so there's like a time and place for a lot of these different ways to use tools and visual imagery. And one of the things I'm super passionate about right now in bringing into visual imagery is the science behind using color as a tool and visual imagery. And I do that in all my visual imagery now. Like how?

So like there's certain colors that have been researched that invoke certain behavior or emotions. So give me some of those. Like yellow, what does yellow mean? What does blue mean? Yellow is a very happy, optimistic color. So does that mean I'm sort of on to interrupt you? Because that means if someone likes yellow,

or is it if they have yellow around them, can you be more specific? Yeah, pick up. Yes. So I love this because I think it's so cool. I actually have a color to color sweep. If my clients want to work with color, I sort of, I'm like, I want you to do a color sweep.

All day to day, I want you to write in your journal, like all the colors that are generally around you. Like, what do you have around you? And then we look at it and I ask them how each color that sort of makes them feel. Like in the big places, like their bedroom, their office, their car, like where do they spend the majority of their time? We keep coming back to car because obviously we're in LA. We spend a lot of time there. Or their kids' room

or the kitchen, and it's fun because you can use it in two different ways. It's like either what colors are already around you, and so you start to think like how are they making me feel? And do I need to switch up? Is there another color that might be better for me to put around me? Well, if you're just saying yellow is very bright and happy and positive, give me some other colors that would define those. Like, wouldn't red mean blood or... No, so like, red's a really powerful color.

Okay. So, yeah, I do. It's passionate. Okay. Um, you know, some people like, I'm wearing a little red right now. Right. Does that mean you have a lot of passion for me or... Yeah.

Watching you like, ready for that. You know, it's funny. It's like, sometimes it's not intentional, but you're drawn to certain things, right? Like I was just speaking earlier upstairs with a man. A man, yeah, sorry. Earlier about hoving and stuff and like I've always been really drawn to like neutrals and like black. I could wear black anytime, any day, and no matter how it feels. But there's certain colors that like I start to

realize, I'm like, I have to be in a certain vibe to like wear them. Or when I wear them, I feel a little different. Like I'm in it. It's black and gray. How about this? So black's not one of the colors that's really, um, have a great sort of a study, but like black to a lot of people. So a lot of this is also personal. Like how does black make you feel? Do you know? Like when you wear it, thin. Okay, I'm just kidding. Yeah, maybe.

No, but I'm just, I don't like a lot of colors. So what does that mean about? But do you not like a lot of color generally? Or just to wear? So we're just talking about what you like to do. No, I think, but I think I like very neutral colors in general. You're drawn to neutral colors.

I'm very drawn to neutral colors. I am very drawn to neutral colors. Or like certain hues of colors. I like yellow though. Yeah. So yellow, yellow like really invokes, and they do a lot of these studies in like the psychological study of like advertisement. Obviously, you can imagine brands have spent a lot of money.

A lot of money. Yep. But yellow, yeah, to come back to it, it's obviously one of my favorites to talk about because yellow is the color of optimism. It's really hopeful. It's new beginnings. It's happy.

Orange, again, is similar, but like what I love about orange in a more specific way is that it's more related to happiness in a social way. So like for some people that want to make a good impression socially, or like they want to be more social or confident in a social setting. Like orange is really like it draws people to you people that want to make a good impression socially, or like they want to be more social or confident in a social setting. Like orange is really like it draws people to you and it like kind of, it's meant to invoke

in you like sort of the social confidence. Interesting. Yeah, it's also a great vote. So gray again is not, no, I mean like I think that's not really fair to say because sometimes gray can be like really clarifying you know for some people but or good clarity. Gray's not one of the like ones really studied per se it's like a shade I guess. How about blue? So blue is blue is like very calming actually it's a really good color to have and it depends like what shade I'm gonna send you I'm gonna send you a color card after this so you can get more into it so we don't't, like I have to go through every,

how about this color? Yeah. So, but your state, but Korean is like grounding and as you can, it's like earthy and like very, but I'll send you it and you can share it with people. And then would you say that that when you're talking about the colors and are you saying that the colors

that people should want to be around or like basically wear? Oh yeah, so they want to focus on the thing. Yeah, so like it can go both ways where I feel like it's a really cool tool like once you know about them and if they confirm with you, like you always want to check that. Sometimes people can have a random like this color makes me feel this because of an experience I had when I was a kid. Right. You know, like a lot of times, you know, we think yellow makes people happy also just because like people are happier in the summer. It's just like a proven, but to some people like for me, maybe it's because I live in LA or again, maybe it's because I'm a highly sensitive person and I was just more like kind

of like that. I always felt so alive in overcast days, you know, like I don't know. Like something about the sun kind of depletes me. It makes me sort of tired. Whereas if there's an overcast day, like I felt the most creative, I always wrote the most in overcast days. Like it made me feel maybe because it made me emotional and they came out and I was able to like creatively, like just I wrote the best on like overcast days.

And I don't know, like maybe, but maybe if I lived somewhere like Seattle or London and there was like tons of overcast days, I may not feel that way. I was gonna ask you about that. I was like, is there personality types that go better? Like what does that mean if you're happy on sunny days, doesn't that mean, does that have any kind of particular

situation? I don't know if it's, I mean, there's definitely we can get into like seasonal affect stuff where there's real true like research and science out there, there's actually like a disorder in the DSM, like seasonal affect stuff where there's real true like research and science out there is actually like a disorder in the DSM like seasonal affect. That's what I think I have. Yeah, when it does affect it's overcast I'm like depressed. Yeah, well you know what's really interesting.

I always like all my friends even since I was a kid they all knew this about me like when there's overcast days they will like send me a picture like even now and be like you're kind of day but recently we had a ton of rain in LA. And I don't know if it's things also have switched for me a lot since becoming a mother. But there was like three or four days, right? Of like heavy rain we just had recently. And it was gray and like literally by the fourth day,

like I was feeling all these, like just sadness and I like felt claustrophobic and I wanted to get out. And I just, and then the first sunny day we had, I was like, so happy. And so I totally got it. I used to, I go to London a lot. And I was all this like, God, people are just not as friendly I felt like.

But then when there's a sunny day and especially a Friday, people leave work early and they are like skipping. It's like literally like a musical. Skipping to the pub and like saying hello to you, like as you walk by, like strangers are saying hello to you which doesn't really happen, I feel like there. And I get it, like I felt that finally for the first time because we had like rain in the way.

Which is rare. That's so funny, I think that all the time though, I would think that's most people. Yeah it is, it's absolutely most people. Like we are very impacted by our environment and as we should, we're living, breathing people, living on a living, breathing earth. And like, of course, we're so connected. People forget how with one and connected we are with our physical environment. So then what do you have? You call you, you're a doctor, you're, excuse me, you used to say

patients, but now you say clients. Yeah. so we are meant to say patience in like the clinical settings. So when I worked at like the hospital or CEDA or UCLA, we say patience, but it's also like if you are a traditional therapist or psychologist, because there's a difference between therapists and psychologists, one's master's, one's a doctorate, but they would call their private practice clients. If they were seeing someone in a hospital setting it's a patient. So it's just like, I don't have patients anymore because I don't ever see people in hospitals. I just have clients.

Right. So if someone came to you, you just say they were more emotionally functioning and they were just sad. They didn't have anything really. What do you say to them? They don't hate themselves. They're just like kind of like, they're kind of like just operating at like, at a six, but they want to operate at a 10, right?

They're not sad. They're just complacent. I would say, let's say complacent. What's your, what's your recipe? Well, there definitely be like to each person is different. What I get to definitely is like very, very personal and custom, like I do not have a one size, I just don't even believe in one size fits. And I agree with you, but I'm saying that for the purpose of this type of show. Yeah, of course.

What can we, what can we, well, I think there's like one thing, maybe, and not even someone that's sad, just generally like maybe the question, do you think maybe like how can we increase our happiness? Or like how can we, I happiness? Or like how can we always optimism? So there's all kinds of really cool simple free ways to increase happiness that have like a holistic and science-based evidence to it. And actually what I'm super passionate about,

I love doing one-on-one sessions, but I know, you know, that's part of my practice or my work. I also, like, a huge other part is brand partnerships and speaking and more like workshops. And so since that has happened, which I truly love and is a passion in mind, so I've made more space for it, and I'm a mom. I still pretty much, like, I do all my own naps and like, I still put my kid to sleep myself and do his bath, So I don't really have my private practice hours have become smaller, which is because you're a mom, I get it. Yeah, and also I'm doing other things, which are also impassioned about in my work. It used to just be private practice now. It's a whole host of other things. And in some ways, that's a great thing. But in other ways, it's sad for me because

it's kind of made things like a wait list happen and also my sessions are more expensive and I know that's not necessarily as affordable, so my big like passion right now, giving people easier, in fact, give me some of these, how do we increase someone's happiness? So I actually have a new something coming out next month, which is going to be a product that is literally just that. It's going to be 52 different ways that you can in a moment increase your optimism and boost happiness. And so a couple of those I could talk about. Give me five.

Can I give you three? Four. You're going to go shading here. I thought you were a deal maker. I know. So you said you were. Totally. So I'm gonna give you three. It takes time to do one. Four. Okay. Okay. Just make your match, ladies. Totally. Okay, so there's all kinds of things. There's so much evidence out there. So this might be like a little of an action that's like a fake

it till you make it. But there's all kinds of evidence out there which I would be happy to dig deeper into if you want to, if anyone has questions about it, you can ask me. But smiling. So just the actual action of smiling, like it increases your immune system. Like there's emotional benefits, but I'm saying there's like also physical benefits. It reduces stress, like they've done all these studies just from smiling. Literally, you didn't even mean it. Like just the act of smiling. So one of the things you can do right

now, like get up right now and smile. Go in front of a mirror and smile. And then like I urge you further for a better thing, which I love to call like a double joyful act. Go outside right now to anyone and smile at a stranger. Like you've just smiled and done something, you will make them smile back and they've done something and you'll probably pass it on. So like smiling more. I know it's like sound simple and silly,

but like even just the act of like person up your lips. It does change. It does change the feeling of it. It does. It changes your posture. It changes like your, and a lot of times what we need to do

is change something physical. I know like biofeed, all this stuff does that, but in order to change something like in our brain the trouble, because it's all connected. So smiling now just to kind of joke around with you but it makes a difference. Like I do feel happier. Yeah, same.

And then laughing, by the way. I'm kidding. Laughing is another, it just takes to whole another level. I mean, people even, from my culture, there's laughing in yoga. There's like laughing, you know, type of practices. But yeah, laughing is contagious. You can't be like upset and laugh. You just really can't.

It's so true. It's hard to do two of those things at the same time. But another thing that's a little laughing classes or laughing. I've actually heard of these. There are. Like, there's like, yeah, laughing yoga. Like, I've seen it in India before, for sure. I'm sure they've brought it here because everything has been brought here.

Exactly. Like, goat yoga, the question of being laughing yoga, right? Another thing is, so I'm this big proponent of a lot of people in my space, or maybe more like, coachy. I don't really know what space I'm in, sort of like, I can tell you you're an optimist doctor. So they'll say, like, I get this question asked all the time, and I love it. It's a really good question. And especially on panels.

It might have even been asked on the panel we were at, or we were on. But people are always like, how do you actually increase happiness or be optimistic in the climate of the world and the society that we're living in today? There's a lot of bad shit happening. Do you know who asked you that question? My mom. Your mom was there? Yeah, and she asked you that. She asked you that.

My mom was visiting me from Canada, where I'm from. So cool. I don't know that. Yeah, and I'll tell you something. She asked you that question because my mother is a pessimist. And she thinks that my head is in the clouds because I'm an optimist. So she wanted to like say, I'm going to ask the head of this doctor about this. I love that. That was your mom. I didn't even know that. I know. Surprise. That's so cool. So I always give this like answer to that.

That is very probably different than what a lot of other people would say. I've heard a lot of people answer that with, you know, there's too much news out there. You need to tune out some of these negative things that are happening and sort of like turn up, is it the phrase like turn of blind eye? Turn of blind eye. Yeah. And actually, I feel the exact opposite. I feel like, well, the exact opposite opposite, but with like a opposite. I feel like, well, the exact opposite, opposite, but with like a caveat. I feel like it's really good to be informed. And I like to be informed.

And I don't want to turn a blind eye because honestly, the things I visualize or probably make up in my mind when I'm anxious are probably far worse than even what's happening. Although, you can give that comment and run for my money right now because there's a lot of really horrible things happening. And I think being informed about them isn't necessarily the problem, but again, it's that idea of the attention and the sort of balance and how much we attention we put to those.

And just think about the last time you put attention to something really happy happening. So my answer to that is, go out right now and seek more positive news. There is horrible things happening right now, but there's actually every day the most amazing, incredible things happening that we just don't know of. And even if we knew of them in passing, we don't even put attention to them. Righting that down. So seek more positive news. Yeah. Things happening around you or around your world that are positive. Like I read something the other day that was so cool. It was like, like the tigers in Nepal are like more than doubling every year. And we thought they were going to be extinct.

So that's really cool. I know it's really funny. You just said that. I had another girl on the podcast who was talking about how the tigers have now been, they went from having 5,000 to 2,500 and they're like a more distinct Wow, in Nepal, not in Nepal. I remember where she said they were. Okay, maybe it was a certain another place, but yeah, like there is. Well, that's good to know. So if you read that, if you read her news, you can feel it. Really? Totally. And feel so much better.

But you know what? I'm saying read both. Yeah, I'm saying read both. Yeah, and give, start to get, give some more of your attention to the positive, because I think it's really, we are just shifted towards that. Like when something, it's the way our brain works. But how about the whole phrase, like ignorance is bliss. Yeah, I'm not really like all for that, but that's fine for somebody. I'm just not all for that.

I also think that's like what I get a lot of when people don't know how I'm referring to the term optimist or optimism, I get a lot of like, yeah, but I was told that's like what I get a lot of when people don't know how I'm referring to the term optimist or optimism, I get a lot of like, yeah, but I was told that pessimists are more realistic. And yeah, it's actually true. There's a lot out there that pessimists have more realism, but that's if you're comparing it to the type of optimist or optimism that some people define as just like wearing rose colored glasses all the time, which I think is actually impossible and like show me a human that does that, like a real human. I know a lot of, I know a lot of humans who are blissfully happy because they're dumb dumb.

I hate to say it. I mean, this is, talk about being not PC, but a lot of times I feel like people, what you don't know won't hurt you. Well, they walk around with blinders on. Well, I mean, like also show me a human that doesn't experience a negative hurt you. And they walk around with blinders on. Well, I mean, also show me a human that doesn't experience a negative emotion ever. Oh, definitely. I mean, of course it is.

Yeah, of course. But you're also saying, you don't believe in the whole ignorance, you know? I mean, I personally don't. And that's just my, I'm sure there's other people that think that's fine. But I don't know, that probably comes from my half of me that's like so into like...

Interested in knowing. See, I'm like you, I'm super curious. And I'm really... Yeah, I'm really into science, and I'm really into evidence-based, like I want to know the truth. Right. And actually that makes me feel better. And it's all about shifts and expectation and the allotment of attention. So attention, I think, is our greatest currency.

And give me one more to increase happiness. Okay, let's see. You have 52 that I want to have one more. I know, well, they are all memorized in my brain somewhere and I'm seeing them like flip. I'm just trying to think of one that might be interesting. Good one. Oh, I got a great one.

Okay, think about somebody right now that inspires you or has inspired you. And when we're done with this podcast, I want you to call them and tell them. That's a good one. Yeah. So it's this idea of gratitude. We all know gratitude, right? Every, it's a big word right now, big word, right? So this idea of gratitude. There's like two things I want to say about that. Number one, amazing. So much research right now, great research on gratitude, like physical, emotional, so much research on gratitude. I almost feel like gratitude is the new mindfulness. You know, a few years ago we had like so much amazing, great research done on mindfulness, things like it was make, you know, growing people's brains and totally. But I love gratitude. The one thing I will say to add to that is,

whenever people write gratitude journals, there's a lot of like external things in them. And there's been a lot of research done recently, which I was super excited to read and learn about, that actually like one of the best ways that gratitude can help you is if you practice self-gratitude. So I would like to see more of you on your gratitude journal. Like things you are actually grateful for yourself, yourself for. So it's really important. Actually, there's research that shows that it increases potential and productivity.

So like the more you wanna actually like successfully get through a goal or attain something, like practice more self gratitude. And my favorite thing to talk about with that is when is the like remember a time that you wanted or wished for something so badly that you currently already have today? No, because we never spend the time doing that.

We wish wish want work so hard to get something and then start wishing wanting for the next thing. What about giving more time to the thing that you've already created and living right now that you wanted so badly? We need to give more space to that because it actually makes us better at manifesting, quote unquote, unquote, or realizing things. It makes it more

productive. And then the second thing with gratitude that I wanted to say is, oh, you know, this idea that silent gratitude is lovely, like keeping gratitude to yourself, but loud gratitude is even better. So tell the person that you're grateful for. It actually is another one of those like double joyful. I like that. Yeah. I like the fact that you said self-gratitude because you're grateful for. It actually is another one of those like double joyful. I like that. I like the fact that you said self gratitude because you're right. It's always about what you're grateful for.

Right. Right. Not about what you are grateful for you for. Yes. And you are doing so much. And you know, you've created so much. Like pretty much everything in your life, you've worked hard to create for.

Like whatever it is. And I mean, I remember I was walking down the street with my husband and we were, this was when Jack was, I don't know, maybe like three months in, four months old, in, three months into living. We got to do it. Living on the earth, earth side. And we were like arguing about something so stupid,

I can't even remember what it was, but we were really arguing. And I was so mad with him, not my son, with my husband. I was so mad with him. I was so mad with him. You were so old in. Yeah, I was so mad at him. And of course, we were in the throes of, you know, newbornness. And of course, we were arguing, like, that's just what happens, no sleep, everything,

whatever. And we were arguing so much, everyone's been there. We've all been there and like I just it was so crazy I had spent so many moments in my pregnancy I already had the stroller so I knew what it looked like I picked out the stroller my mother-in-law bought a stroller for us we put it together it was the only thing we had put together before jag arrived because jag came three weeks early and we had nothing done I didn't have a hospital bag or anything but by the, all that planning is overrated. They have everything you need at a hospital.

Yes. If you're having a hospital birth. But so I had spent all FYI. I had all, I had spent so much time visualizing, walking down our, we live in the neighborhood of like the West Third Area, mid-city, and walking past all these restaurants. And I'd seen it so clearly, holding my husband's hand, and the stroller down, and whatever this baby was going to look like, and be like, and feel like.

And then in that moment of arguing, I was just like, holy shit. Like, I'm living this moment that I thought about so much, and I'm arguing about something. I don't even know what I'm arguing about. And I never have taken the time to just have a moment or more to be like, I am so grateful to me for what I have endured and done to make this moment happen. Right, right, right, right, right,

because you're so busy arguing over nonsense. And probably like just thinking about the next thing I wanted. I think that's so true. I think we all, I do that all the time. And then I always catch myself after the fact and then I kick myself. Yeah, I didn't like, I didn't treasure that moment. I catch myself after the fact. And then I kick myself. Yeah. I didn't like, I didn't treasure that moment. I wasn't in the moment. And that in itself

is a work. It's a work. It's a work. It's a work to do that. But I feel like everybody is a work in progress. Everybody is. That is the whole, that is life. That is life. And I think the more we realize that, like, there is no such thing as destination. You know, it's, it's, I mean, it sounds so cliche, but it's true. It's the process, the journey. We hear these things. We hear those two all the time. We hear those all the time. And it's kind of true.

And the more you can, I mean, again, like, what is happiness? It's sort of, it's not a destination. It's like, you know, everyone has different ways of describing what it is. But like, you know, it's someone that experiences pleasure, enjoy along the way, along the way, along the way. You know, it's this whole idea that, and you can change all of it, too. So, like, I think another thing is, you know, wherever you are right now, like find some solace

and embrace them the fact that, like, it's not permanent. Right. Everything's fine. Wherever you are. Yeah. I got five out of you, and you said you only want to do three. I think I could be a better deal maker than you. Yeah. I got five out of you and you said you only want to do three out of that. I think I can do three out of that. I think I can do three out of that. I think I can do three out of that.

I think I can do three out of that. I think I can do three out of that. I think I can do three out of that. I think I can do three out of that. I think I can do three out of that. I think I can do three out of that. I think I can do three out of that. I think I can do three out of that.

I think I can do three out of that. I think I can do three out of that. I think I can do three out of that. I think I can do three out of that. I think I can do three out of that. I think I can do three out of that. I think I can do three out of that. I think I can do three out of that.

I think I can do three out of that. I think I can do three out of that. I think I can do three out of that. I think I can do three out of that. I think I can do three out of that. I think I can do three out of that. I think I can do three out of that. I think I can do three out of that. I think I can do three out of that. I think I can do three out of that. I think I can do three out of that. I think I can do three out of that. I think I think I can do three out of that. I think I can do three increase increase their happiness and how they can implement those things into their lives because it's easy, it's tangible and everyone can smile more. Everyone can laugh a little bit more and reach out to someone that they are inspired by and not just what the little things basically what we're talking about too. I mean, and if you want to, if you, if people want to know more and kind of get more great insight from you, where can people find you? You can find me on Instagram at the little at sign, um, Dr. dr deepakachopra d e e p i k a ch o p r a, um, and my website, www.duktoddepicachoper.com. I love interacting and saying hi. Like, I'm literally a like proud nerd about all this stuff. Like, I love it. I really like dig deep into it. So, I love when people say hi and want to know more and I'm totally an available person on there to chat.

And yeah, you can email me on my website and email the office if you're interested in sessions or workshops or really exciting new stuff coming out like next month. There's like fun little easy tangible, powerful ways to increase happiness where you don't even need to book a session with me. That sounds amazing. Maybe I'll, maybe I'll DM you. Yeah, you can. Thank you very much. Thank you. It's been a pleasure.

I'm so happy we finally made this happen. I am too. Thank you so much. Thanks for having me anytime. We're going to come back again. You've got to be out of your mom for me. I definitely. I'm going to send her my way.

I will. Oh, God, she needs you. God, God, bye-bye. Thank you. Bye. This episode is brought to you by the YAP Media Podcast Network. I'm Holla Taha, CEO of the award-winning digital media empire YAP Media, and host of YAP Young & Profiting Podcast, a number one entrepreneurship and self-improvement podcast where you can listen, learn, and profit. On Young & Profiting Podcast, I interview the brightest minds in the world, and I turn

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