Habits and Hustle - How Important Is A Man’s Height For Online Dating?

Episode Date: June 23, 2023

Do you swipe left or right when you land on a profile of a shorter man? In this solo episode of the Habits and Hustle podcast, we chat about how much importance women and men attribute to a man’s height when it comes to dating.  While men tend to feel conscious of their height as women tend to associate height with masculinity, there are other ways men can behave to be more attractive to women. What we discuss: 03:00: How important are looks when dating? 05:40: Is height the reason why we have so many single people?  08:02: How important is a man’s height for sperm banks? 10:12: What is the issue with online dating? 13:50: What should men who aren’t “tall enough” do? 18:19: How should you carry yourself if you’re short? 20:23: Do tall men have it easier? My links: Website: https://www.jennifercohen.com/ Instagram: @therealjencohen  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Get grilling at Whole Foods Market Terms Apply. When there's a penalty on the field, referees are there to sort it out. When there's an accident on the road, that's where USAA steps in. We help make the claims process easy, so drivers can get back on the road fast. Making the right calls. That's what we're made for. Membership eligibility and product restrictions apply in our subject to change. USAA means United Services Automobile Association and its affiliates.

San Antonio, Texas. Hi guys, this is Tony Robbins. You're listening to Habits in Hustle. Cresher. Hi guys, it's Tony Robbins, you're listening to Habits in Hustle! Crash it! Okay guys, welcome back to another solo episode of Habits in Hustle. Before we dive into what we're going to be talking about, I want to make sure everybody, if you are enjoying this podcast, please subscribe if you have not yet done so. It really helps with the algorithm.

And also, just kind of getting it out there because if we don't, it's crazy. If we don't, the more subscriptions we have, the better we do in terms of getting a bigger wider net to see us. So please definitely subscribe. Also, give me some feedback. If you guys are enjoying certain episodes or want to see more of something, let me know. It makes a big big impact on what we bring to you. So with that being said, thank you for listening and or watching and we're gonna go right into the topic, which is a fun one actually. So Shiny who you guys probably know by now, if you have listened for a while, is my quote unquote foil for my solos, and she's a good one.

Thank you. And you're welcome. And she walked in and we started to talk because she's so excited. She went on this great date. It's crazy. I hope it doesn't hear this. I thought I had a really good date on Saturday night.

I did not like go crazy. Jen has the one going crazy. Fine. So she had a really great date on Saturday night. And she was so elated that I'm like, really, what's, like, tell me about this guy, like, what's he about? And the first thing out of her mouth was,

okay, well, he's so hot, he's six four, and then she went into all these other wonderful traits, which then opened up a whole, you know, can of worms because we're like, isn't it interesting that the importance or how important height is for females going up with males? Like that's like a, I think it's also very psychological. So it went, took us down a whole rabbit hole of like why it is the stats and the analytics around shorter men versus taller men and then what happens on apps? Because I do know that on apps,

I had this podcast recently where we talked about like, you know, a very small portion of the population get the majority of the swipes and the dates, like a very small like between nine and 12%, which then what does that leave the rest of the population and there's a lot of Characteristics and stats why it works for men and then there's other reasons why it worked for the women side right for women It's age. I mean, let's be honest, right like when you're now dating as your main at the main way of your dating is through Technology and apps the first thing that you it's visual right The first thing that you, it's visual, right?

The first thing that you see is what someone looks like or how they describe themselves. It's the stats. It's like the different stats. Like, you know, let's say you go to an event, right? And you meet like a guy that's super cute, right? He's like, five, nine, five, ten, okay? Let's say you're like a five, two, five, three person, right? In person, you're probably not really noticing

how tall or not tall they are, right? Like, you're not like nitpicking on the actual inch, right? You're feeling this chemistry. You like this guy. Five minutes. Or you think, or other things kind of play in part. Like, you could be a shorter guy

but have a real powerful presence and confidence. Look at Tom Cruise. Look, I'm not even talking about shorter. I'm talking like mid-range that people would sweat with shorter. No, but that's, but that's an average. Five, nine is the average American male height. This is, in a, okay, so this is the point,

this is how we went down this rabbit hole. So we went through all these stats. This is a good point. So the average height for a man is now five nine, right? The average height for a woman is five four, okay? A woman over five 10 or five 10 ish ish considered very tall. A man under five9 is considered short. So with that being said, what's interesting

is the majority of the world or population is way below that percentage. So men who are six feet or over, that's only a 14.9% amount of people. Which leaves 85% of the population of men shorter than six feet, right? And for, this is the best part, women who are most satisfied, and this is not me talking, this is stats in psychology today, so don't get mad at me, get mad at

the other things, that women prefer when men are eight inches or more taller than them. Right? So that's for, that they're most satisfied, I should say. Okay? Tall or guys, get your head out of the gutter, but men prefer or most satisfied when women are three inches or shorter than them. Right. Right.

Right. Well, the language of the, I mean, it's important to, the language of the thing is most satisfied when they're three inches taller. So it's, to manage about them being taller, then more about women who are smaller. Yes, yes. Which is just different like psychology, you know what I mean? Because it's about them being bigger as opposed to... I, 100 percent, yes, I get. So I just, I should have said it like that. So three, that they're three inches taller at minimum. The crazy, the crazy one that you just mentioned is the 14.5, where the 45% of women in America would like a man that's six foot and above.

So 45% of women are searching for someone who's six foot and above, but they're only 14.5% that are higher than six foot. That's 100% true. So it's a crazy disparity. So let's just say that again, right? That women, almost 50% of women are looking for a guy that is six feet or more taller.

In a world with. In a world that the 85% of men are five foot 11 or shorter. So is that why we have so many single people? Because also, it's very psychology-based. I think also other things play into it, but that's not what we're talking about today, but we can. The truth of the matter is, the first thing you did say, even knowing so or not, is, oh, how tall the guy was.

Which means it's part of our DNA that that's what we look for, and we look for it because for survival reasons, to feel smaller, more feminine and dainty, we perceive strength with height, which by the way is completely not true, right? Yeah. There's also like a genetic possibility that is a genetic preference as well. Of course genetics. If you go to a sperm bank, I would imagine the first thing that they look for when a woman

goes to a sperm bank is, well, the top three would be the height of the guy. So I was just reading some sperm banks don't allow you to donate if you're five foot ten or below. Are you serious? Like you have to qualify and some have a height qualification, which is so crazy. Oh my gosh. I didn't even realize that. How many of that?

You have to be five foot ten. Some sperm banks have a qualified, like, well, they all have qualifications. Like you can't just donate sperm, you know. Really nearly. Yeah, like if you're like an addict and stuff, like those are, you know, they take all that into consideration. So there are qualifications, but it's funny that I'm literally reading that height is actually a qualification in some sperm banks, which is so crazy.

You know why it's a qualification? It's only a qualification because probably what they noticed was all these men were coming in were five eight and nobody was wanting their sperm. So they're like screw this. It's a waste of our manpower to even have people working here doing all the administrative and all the paperwork, whatever else they're doing. No one's going to take it. If no one's taking it. So it's probably like wasted sperm sitting in the sperm bank. No, that doesn't make sense. That doesn't make sense. Business wise. Business wise, like if you're like if you're thinking in terms of like, you know, return on your investment and kind of downsizing,

you know, the one's buying the product. You know, no one's buying the short product. No one's buying the product. Okay, but this is- You have to discontinue it. What's so interesting is picking sperm from a sperm bank is actually like in terms of looking at the stats and the visual side of things,

it's very similar to then dating on a dating app, right? And this was what I was getting at before, is like, we don't date how we use to, where, for example, if someone's meeting someone in person, it's 5'9", to like 5'11", right? They might even know that they're below 6' feet. Like, see, you know, you're in person so different, the ambiance, someone might feel taller,

they might, you know, it's women think that they can, they understand height super well, but a lot of times we miscalculate. But on a dating app, you're not miscalculating. You're seeing the number right there in there, just like a sperm bank. So you can literally filter out 85% of these guys who are not six footer above, and just put that's it.

Do you just immediately? You swipe right. Swipe no on all these people who are not six foot, which is so crazy. Or swipe left. So I don't know which way it is. With swipe right is, right is, yes. Left is no. So swipe left, okay, you swipe left. With swipe white it's, right is, yes. Left is no.

So swipe left, okay, you swipe left. So that to me is really interesting. I think that's one of the most important things that you've said today all day. No, it's true, because then, because you see a number, and visually, it's in front of you, you just automatically don't even take it seriously, right?

So you just like don't even, you disregard it. When the reality is, like that could be your soulmate and you're like disregarding that person because they're one inch or half an inch, smaller, taller, shorter than what you think. Versus when you meet someone person, which then brings me back to what I always talk about, it's like actual human connection.

We're so lost in what all the nuance and minutia that actually is important to develop a personal relationship that people are just like completely not even thinking about, they're just thinking about stats. This is the problem with dating through technology though. Because everybody is so freaking vain and superficial and shallow. It's like with girls too,

like unless a girl is like, looks a certain way and presents herself a certain way, she will get a swipe left. She's at the right age, the right look, the right fitness level, the right this, this, this. People are, don't take into concerns. People are not looking at like, you know, we may get a lot more, yes,

is even ugly women get, yes, is because there are literally some guys who will just go on there and swipe right on everyone. Like they're not, only because they're looking, they're not looking for a relationship. They're looking for like a hook up because and they'll take whatever they can get. I don't know. That's different. No, I think guys are way less choosy on dating apps. It's been known. Like they're, we are fighting for the top 10% of women, but the, the, the next, the top 60% of women are getting dates. It's not like

it's that big of a dis, the disparity is huge in terms of women getting dates on dating apps versus guys. Blazing deals, boundless options. It's Hot Grill Summer at Whole Foods Market from June 14 through July 4. Fire up the grill with quality cuts at the best prices. We're talking animal welfare certified meat. Check out the sales on Bone In Rib by Beef Cabobs and New York Strip Steak. Round out your barbecue with plant-based proteins, slice cheese, soft buns, and all the condiments. Plus, sales on fresh strawberries, peaches, and more.

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But things get real. I have such a great group of guys. I see myself with each of them. Real fast. The beat I've just exploded. You did me dirty. Are you kidding? Your braces.

It's on the chest, but who's to say I can't clip that off? Oh! The Batch the Rat for the years tonight, 98 Central Y ABC and Streamon Hulu. This summer, go to the movies, projected on the side of a mountain. Discover a new favorite restaurant, your campsite. Find yourself when you lose your signal.

Discover a new playlist. Mother Nature. Make your summer special at the Kia Summer Sales event with a dependable Kia SUV or powerful sedan. Kia, movement that inspires. Call 800-333 for Kia for details. Always drive safely of an N7523. What I was going to say though, so back to the original point which there's only between like the men, only 10% of the men on apps are actually getting swiped left and are actually active, like in terms of going on days, on an app, which means still a lot more, but that thought the point I was making, the point I was making is everything is stat, stat, like a statistic or a number or a visual base. It's not about the person. It's not about the person. You're trying to get the essence

of someone by writing down a bio and writing down your height and your weight and your build. Then you're making a decision based around a few numbers and a smile that you may or may like or an age versus what happens happens in real life like chemistry chemistry has almost zero to do with any of those stats and it has only to do with like fair moan to end like like how someone's personal I don't know everything everything just attracts to you So I think that to me that's sad in itself, which is why I'm a big promoter of Socialization and going out there and getting away from technology, but that's not what we're really talking about No, I know I know I am I am talking about the hype problem

But with someone said in a Buzzfeed article that I thought was kind of interesting They were interviewing them was how you know oftentimes you're going off of so little on a profile that if you're leaning towards No, but the person is tall at least you're like, all right, well, maybe they're tall, give me a shot. Yes. Whereas if you're leaning towards no, but there's no height or there may be a shorter, you're just like, well, nah. So it's like, you're going off of so little that these stats become so valuable. And it ends up really doing exactly what you're talking about now, which is like ruining this

process of actually getting to know the person. That's why I hate the texting for a hundred years before meeting. I either set up a date with me when then the first two conversations where I'm probably not going to respond for like eight to nine business months. No. I totally agree. I totally agree. But then I guess the bigger question is what is a man to do? Because the truth is men get their confidence.

Unfortunately, a lot of men get very insecure if they're not tall, and that's why they call something Napoleon complex, right? Because the short little guys are super insecure about it, so they overcompensate in a lot of ways that's such a turn-off and unattractive personality-wise. Right? So if you can find a way to find confidence and lean into the fact that you're not tall, it's not that good. But I think it's not that good. I think it's not that good.

I think it's not that good. I think it's not that good. I think it's not that good. I think it's not that good. I think it's not that good. I think it's not that good. I think it's not that good. I think it's not that good.

I think it's not that good. I think it's not that good. I think listen, I think you're short. This is the same thing like if a woman is not like a tiny, tiny, tiny, right? Like you do everything you can to make yourself the best you possibly can be. So like you feel your absolute best. Yeah, that's the way I talk about it. Start reading books, like start working out,

like make yourself, like if you are, interesting, if you're a short guy, be funny, be strong, like you know, get all your other legs in order. 100% like that's the way I look at it. Like that's just one trait out of a bazillion things. So you have to stack the deck for you in every other way. And the truth is, like, you have to just own whatever you are

and hope for the best, right? And just not get yourself confident as a self-esteem based on an external force. It has a common goal. It's a carbohydrate, the super-arbitrary. But with we, but as we are saying this, it could be considered a load of crap because that is still one of the things

if not the top three things that women are attracted to. So we're not here giving you, I'm not giving you the answer necessarily. We're saying what you can do to stack stack the deck to your favor you know make sure you're you can take care of your body become really fit and strong you can like really read a lot you can be very successful and have a lot of interests and hobbies and just be okay with the fact that who you are whatever you are listen I'm no great shakes a lot of things not are, listen, I don't know great shakes, a lot of things are not great about me,

but I don't dwell on them, and I focus on my very positive attributes, and that's what everybody should do. And if you're a six out of 10, you quickly become a 10 out of 10 because of your attitude and your personality and how you carry yourself. There's nothing in the world more sexy

than somebody who is actually confident. That's my two cents. So this pivots into the short-king conversation, which is this. So this term was conceived by comedian Jabuki Yang-White in a 2018 tweet. And what's really crazy is like how big this term has become since then, like everyone's now a short-king short-king, it's kind of a rebranding for short guys. And I mean, I think we're run with it. Like I think that there are definitely a lot of super attractive short guys. I have not heard of this by I am not a height chaser just for reference to people on this podcast. Like, I have dated many short guys before I date a whole wide range. I would, you know, it's just to me, that's

not necessarily like the biggest factor. I'd rather someone be strong than be tall. Like, there's a tall skinny guy has zero shot with me. Like, there's just no chance. Like, I've just, it's something that I just can't even fathom. It's like a rather short and strong, and I think that there are actually a lot of women out there. But, again, this problem, the dating apps, makes it seem like you have no shot.

And I think if you just focus more on in-person events and like what we're talking about with actually building chemistry, IRL, or just getting to the date faster than later on these dating apps, you'll see more results. You'll see better results, in my opinion. I just can't believe five, nine is considered to be average. And the truth is, you could have in short.

No, in real time, it is considered to be on the short side, in real time. So I guess the other thing is like, at what point is data and real time, practical real life, really kind of correlate? There's a lot of data that I read and I'm like, I don't really believe that to be the case in real world. And a lot of this stuff is also, we can say whatever the hell we want to say.

It doesn't mean that it actually helps you in the moment, right? Like, you know, I'll say all I want, oh, you can be super this and that and the other. But it would be really hard for me to date someone who was 5'4". 5'4 is really hard. That is hard. I feel bad, that is hard. But I do have like a friend who who was 5'4". 5'4 is really hard. That is hard. I feel bad, that is hard. But I do have like a friend who's like 4'9".

So go find her, join me. Oh no, for a girl it's different. Girls can get, they can get a little more. No, no, as long as she could date like a 5'4 guy. He would be tall for her. Oh, right. So he's literally 4'9. Okay, so as my mom would always say to me,

every pot has a lid. And so in that case, the five-four guy, found his pot with the four or nine girl. Yeah, at the end of the day, I guess hide is also so subjective, because to me I am so short. So often, I see five-nine is not short. To me, that's pretty just whatever.

Yeah, because you're five-three. Yeah, because I'm so small. So if I look up, it's you know, you're there. But also, if you carry, again, I do believe this to be true though. It's all in how you carry yourself. If you carry yourself with confidence, you are, you're a foot taller right there.

You ever see those like super tall guys that are kind of overy with no coordination? They sort of like flopped on the plate. That's to be not attractive. I find that very unattractive, but that's the same thing, right? So you could be short and carry something super well. Okay, would you rather date someone who's like super,

super tall and like gangly and like, Lanky and like, uncorordinated, but really tall, or would you rather date a short person who's got like coordination, short person with coordination, strength and agility. See, I would prefer to date that too. I would 100, I'd date a five, six, super agile athlete,

any day of the week, over a six, five, six, seven, like buffoon. Actually, I think I would too. So you know what, mom, you're right. There is a lint every pot. I would say. Wait, but the other thing that's really funny about this conversation or not, not funny, but kind of sad and interesting about this conversation are all the stats that support the benefit of height. Like that say that if you're taller, you are smarter. If you're taller, you make more money objectively across the board. Like there are just a lot of stats, and it's not crazy.

But this is what I believe. I think it said it made like for example, guys that were taller made on average over a 30 year career, more, $160,000 more, which spread out over 30 years is not that crazy, right? You know what I find too? Still small. I agree.

But what I was gonna say is if you Google anything to what you're looking for towards whatever information you'll find, you'll find it. If you also, if you Google information based on all the benefits that tall people get, you will get a million benefits. If you Google all the benefits that sure people get, you will get all the benefits. So the problem with Google and looking and researching is that you can can find confirmation bias on anything that you're trying to look for, right? You're going to confirm the whatever thought bias assumption idea, whatever you have in your brain, you can confirm it through Google. So I think it's bold when people are like,

oh, what when I went on, you know, I googled that all the benefits of all people, if a study says that on average, taller guys are making more money, that's just a number. Like they're just serving 160,000 people and on average. Right, but you're trying to, I'm not saying you, but I'm like this, I agree with you. No, no, I agree with you on your point, but I just think like, yeah, you'll find any study that will confirm that tall people have it easier.

If I wanted to find all the reasons why all short men have it easier, I would find that. They could sit anywhere in a theater and not be, you know. No, but have it? She does fucking hysterical. That is hysterical. They can go anywhere in the concert. No, and they can't.

No, no, okay. I'm saying no one would tell them to move or like, they wouldn't feel like they're dead. But have it easier is different than actual actual numbers like making more money is a legitimate Staff, they can be a dwarf. That's so crazy. They could be a they could be a dwarf It's a deal to mathematically show that taller people make more money is wild like that is a really wild yeah No, no because I but again, it might be you know correlation all causation I don't know why get it because again, it's about like space in the room.

Like if you're a tall person, you sometimes take up more space and you give off this feeling of authority and you give off this feeling of power. So what the correlation really is that is basically sometimes looks like it equals power because of the way the space that you take up. Just like sheer presence. Yeah, the presence, it's all the same. Like you take up. Just like sheer presence?

Yeah, the presence, it's all the same. You take, your presence is bigger. But now that we're talking about this more, I know a lot of tall people who are really awkward and insecure, and I know a lot of, short people, yes, a lot of them I do know or have a ton of Napoleon complex, but there are a few that are just like I said,

they're super and and their presence is so authoritative and sure of themselves and they have they take up the space in the room. Yeah. So I mean, I don't know, I just think the whole the whole thing is just crazy. I think that because dating apps are so prevalent like how we're dating now, it becomes such a bigger issue. Like this would not be the same problem. I don't think so. Let's let's let's open it up to everybody like how we're dating now, it becomes such a bigger issue. Like this would not be the same problem, I don't think. So let's open it up to everybody, and then we're gonna wrap this, because we can go back and forth.

We could, I wanna know, I'm curious, what height you are whoever's listening, and if you have a preference, or if you have a spouse, or girlfriend, or boyfriend, how tall are they? If you're a girl, is your mate, eight inches taller than you, or if you're a male, is are you three inches taller than your mate?

Right? Yeah. And also, if you're a shorter guy, I'd actually love to know what your experience has been on dating. Yeah, I'm curious. I'm curious to know that the experience. But listen, if you're a guy and you're making a ton of money You can stand on your wallet and most girls will go out with you that it's just calling it what it is

It's basically calling a spade a spade so all this is moot You could be 5-2 believe me. I know a lot of 5-2 guys who are Loaded and they stand on their wallet and every girl date them But are they dating you for the right reasons? I don't know about that, depends. That's so interesting. Wait, okay, there was one more point that I found in the research that I thought was so interesting.

Okay. Is the way that algorithms work on dating apps is like they show people that people like more, right? And they also show people based on like who's getting swiped and like the preferences, whatever. So a lot of times what ends up happening is like a lot of the shorter guys get left behind in the algorithm. So they're not even shown as many times

in the profiles, like in the swiping process. Well, okay. So it's like, so because, but it's surely, it's like an algorithm that learns on itself. So. That's like anything that's crazy. That's why in the Bigging Up every podcast, I even tell people to subscribe

because then you're actually are visible in the algorithm. The dating apps are exactly the same thing. You won't even become visible. I won't even become visible. My podcast won't even become visible. If someone's not at least clicking on something because then we just become like obsolete to the algorithm. So that is so sad.

And that's basically why the sperm banks had to eliminate to 5, 10 and under because they were obsolete. Like they were just getting rancid in the cooler. Oh God, like 30-year-old sperm. Yeah, they could not get arrested. Okay, on that, if you, yeah. So we kept it just wrapped this. So we've got to wrap it, but anyways, love you guys, short kings. Short kings. Short kings, and whatever your thing is,

it makes you a little bit insecure. Don't let that run your life. Just basically lean on in all the other great aspects of you and make yourself killer. And that's all I have to say. So bye. This episode is brought to you by the YAP Media Podcast Network. I'm Hala Taha, CEO of the award-winning digital media empire YAP Media, and host of YAP Young & Profiting Podcast, a number one entrepreneurship and self-improvement podcast

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