Hamish & Andy - 2024 Ep 251 - The most unconventional Chit Chat tactic yet

Episode Date: May 8, 2024

Hamish starts the show with another finger-pointing fart investigation while Chit Chat Champions returns with the most unconventional player yet! Darcy finds himself back under the microscope, the boys are perplexed by a new commemorative coin on the market, they explore a potential fly-in special skill, and finish with a new corporate bonding exercise.  1. Fastest corners in your house / another fart investigation 2. Chit Chat Champions: Star Wars 3. Darcy under the microscope 4. NRL coins 5. Treadmill Special Skill - potential participant Olivia 6. Dogs looking at you while they poo 

A listener production. Activate your internet because the Hey Mission and the podcast starts in 3, 2, sorry, still buffering. One. Ahoy to me dunsark, Hamish. Oh, okay. Thank you. I think I wouldn't say I'm a dunsark, but I think I'm at least a jackart.

Ahoy to me cormor, Jack. Oh, can we be birds? Is it cormor? Cormor? Aren't we delicious Indian meals? Oh, I think I took a masala over here. Yeah. I think I was thinking of a cormorant.

Yeah. Half a bird. Half I think I took a masala. Oh yeah. I think I was thinking of a cormorant. Yeah, half a bird. Which is a buttery ant. A delicious, cashew buttery ant. Your haim, vegetables or meat cooked with lentils and occasionally spinach. The cormorant, obviously, jack over there, mildly spicy Indian curry dish,

meat marinated yogurt and curds, the naan, small piece of meat, typically chicken, creamy sauce, mildly flavored spices. No one's super hot? No one's super hot out of the three of us? Not typically chicken though, I would have thought. Ando, you're a... That's a...

I'm offended on your behalf because I know your regular order at Indian is a lamb. Yeah, but that's a sargwala. Sorry? I thought I have seen you do a tikka masala before. Yeah, chicken tikka. Definitely, you'd say that's typical. Okay. Okay, ahoy also.

Typically, it's just, you know, it's probably typically vegetarian if you go to India. So, I mean, that's true. Each their own. Source what you wish. It's often a phrase you hear at Indian restaurants. Or if you ever travel there. Ahoy also to Michael in Germany, Ham.

Ahoy boys, gusto tu all. I'm just sitting in my lab in Germany running some experiments and listening to the pod. And I'm just getting a bit worried that there's a lot of entries into the Upset Andy segment that aren't being submitted by Fast and Loose folk. They're being submitted by the friends of the Fast and Loose who themselves are the slow and tight and if we have too many slow and tight entrants then it's just going to become a support group for Andy and his detail obsessed mates to just complain about

the fast and loose and this is not going to upset Andy but rather make him feel seen and heard which is obviously not what the segments about so just a warning interested to hear your thoughts all right love you boys bye bye beautiful very well put wonder what he's working on in the lab as well. Probably podcast analytics. Absolutely, he's hit the nail on the head. Yeah, I think we do like... The problem with the Fast and Lose people is they can't be bothered. They don't have the time to write in Rob said Andy to tell him the things they do because we are a time stretched group. You aren't. I actually have my own fastener. Crazy.

No, just bracing around. Take on a lot, get a lot done. Can't waste time with things like, oh, and you're folding your sheet, simply align it with the meridian and then you, you'll find it's 68% more volume in your cupboard or whatever, we just don't have time. We're stuffing it in the comment.

We're moving on. If it is time related, I can assure you there are efficiencies in my approach that will save you time. Hey RT, I actually realized before we get to what we need to talk about, speaking of Fast and Furious, I realized this week that I was unbeknownst to me running, this is how fast I'm running things at home, right? This is the efficiencies I'm running stuff at home. Long long long boring boring boring.

Went to see a doctor, right? This is the truncated version. I was like, I'm getting, I'm looking tired, so I need to get a blood test and stuff. And they're like, hey, where are blood glucose monitor, which is usually what people wear if you're diabetic, okay, tells you your blood sugar levels. Let's just see what you know, track it for a week. It's a very small, it's like the size of a milk bottle lid. And it sticks to the back of your tricep on

your left side. It's got a tiny pin in it and it sinks to an app, right? So it tells you your blood sugar. So looking at to be like, do you spiking you crashing like we're getting tired. You know, long story short, it goes on the left side, right? Goes on the tricep part. It does have a tiny little needle that goes in like very, just under the surface of your skin. I realized there are a few corners in my house that I take so fast that unbeknownst to me, I brush my arm against the side like a Formula One car's wheels mounting the red and white corner.

Yeah, hitting the apex. Yeah, but I bump over the safety rail. And so I've been brushing against the corner. I don't even know I do this. I rip two off. Wow. I'm hitting the corner so hard. I rip two off.

And I sort of wore them for two or three days and I was like look I don't do anything. But think of all the time you're saving as you accumulate over a year. That's fast and loose people hitting the apexes on every corridor. As he goes through his ovarie. Just taking bigger and bigger risks as you find more and more efficient lines through your house. Jack do you reckon you're fast and loose? Yes, and I actually have hit walls before, probably trying to take off too much. Sorry.

Not until you wear something. Which you go round your house or apartment. I know exactly what you mean. First lap time. And it's not until you wear something that's stuck into your skin to alert you when you rip it off Just how big a risk you're taking around those corners It's actually like those probably the main benefit I got from wearing that blood sugar monitor

Alerting me that if I keep this up, I'm gonna dislocate his shoulder. I'm gonna hit it so hard some of these corners What's your fastest corner in your house Jack? There's a little like, I know mine. The dining room is not right next to the kitchen, which it should be, but you got to go down a hall. So you've got two turns. Must be a nice hall to the dining room. Wow. You can't.

I haven't actually been to this new manor, but it does sound good. You go two corners from kitchen to dining room. So if you forget salt or pepper or anything from the kitchen, you want to get back quickly because your meal's cooling. Yeah, your meal's cooling. By the way, I'm coming into the kitchen, it's a left-her and it's a really tight left hander, 180 coming into the kitchen. By the way, I see Zoe going way up like, oh, there's no chance of hitting an apex here. You've completely overshot that. Understeer, understeer, understeer. By the way, mine's, I've come out of another way.

What's your fastest caller? Yeah, I've got a hairpin to the toilet now. Yeah, see, that's, I've come out of an elevator. What's your fastest car? Yeah, I've got a hairpin to the toilet now. Yeah, see, that's what I mean. That's where I was ripping the sensor off. Yeah, if I'm busting, I come out of the lift, because we're in an apartment building now, and I'm hairpin right, hairpin right into the, into the car. So do you have to go wide to make that hairpin? Ooh, it's a 360.

That's a 360. I normally stand on the left-hand side of the elevator as I come up. So I leave. So I exit the elevator far left, knowing I can get a better apex on the left. Then I'll drift to the far side of the hallway. Just before again, cutting across to the right. I'd love to set up a camera and see you race your ghost. You know, like just get lots and lots of versions and just see when you've done it the best. Yeah.

Yeah, look, domestic lines. Send in your favourite corner at your house. Where are you putting your body on the line to turn a corner quickly in your house? Because I reckon we'll have to walk. HamishFanny.com, that'd be great. And I reckon we actually have people that genuinely do need to wear glucose monitors for health reasons, like diabetes, going, yeah, I've had to adjust the way I walk around the house because they need this on the whole time.

Like you know, you can't. My close mate's Huey's diabetic. I saw him with the patch actually at the pub on the weekend. I'll ask him. I don't know if you have to wear it on that, but it says you have to put it on that part of your arm. That probably if you are a very, very fast move around the house, you might have to put it somewhere else.

Like you go internal or something that's a bit more protected or. Or just for instance, for me, I'm, when I get out of the lift, I'm going running for the loo. Yep. I don't have to worry about it because it's just two right hand turns. You could go on the side. And then I'd relieve myself on the way back. I never have to run back it because it's just two right hand turns. You could go and then I'd, and then I'd relieve myself on the way back. I never have to run back to the lift side.

It's a perfect house for a diabetic. Yeah. You should have been made over there. You'll love it mate. You were on your left. You're really going to enjoy running to the toilet at my house. running to the toilet of my house. From arm based mishaps to possibly arse based mishaps.

We get a lot of mail at the show and you see themes emerge and we've discussed this on my side of things. I think I know where you're going. Many times people, you know, they'd like to bring to the attention of everyone else what they think is a possible on air fart. This one actually is coming in so... I'm glad you brought it up because I keep seeing it. I'm like, now we can't go back to farts after the... Keep it or delete it with the only...

No, you just sort of go, OK, that'll die out. But then the chorus is so strong, you're like, OK, this is the will of the people. There is an episode in question recently where someone's, there's two instances where people are claiming a fart. Same episode? Yeah, same episode. Same talk break? I don't think, no, not the same talk break. Jack, have you got fart number one? Is fart number one? I won't bore you with the maths. I've run it.

It does check out. Um, it's from, they call themselves ChocoCop. Okay. There's a noise. There is a noise there. That sounds like Hamish, doesn't it? Oh, I was actually, I was actually going to say to be all, in all seriousness, I think I'm the only person that can't be.

Why? Um, because I mean, the, the ability to be in all seriousness, I think I'm the only person that can't be. Why? Um, because I mean, the ability to pause, fart, talk, it's just not... No, no, no, that's the thing. You paused too fast. I think I was pausing to read. So my body was so focused on something else. I was looking at someone's email name. My body was so focused on something else that wouldn't, it wouldn't conduct another operation.

I reckon both of you guys. No, no, I don't know how it is. You couldn't keep going with your train of thought. You actually went. Hang on. I've got to relieve this pressure so I can keep going. Let's have another listen. Hang on, hang on.

I think I want people to listen with this in mind. I think that these two, one of these two fathers sitting in front of me have gone, great, he's talking. This will go on for a bit post is clear and you weren't expecting me to pause to read an email name at the time you least wanted me to pause have a listen I won't bore you with the maths I've run it it does check out um it's from they call themselves choco cock it's you because when you when you, that's you going, I can't multitask here and do it at the same time as talking.

You try, you thought you could, but you couldn't and it, it scattered your brain. So you went, um, and then you paused for it. I think I was actually watching your face as we played that, Jack. And there was a moment of remembering from you, a moment of recognition where you were like, that's actually where I like to do them while I think someone's going on a long sentence. The moment of remembering was, ah, remember when that happened in the studio. Let's have a one more lesson.

I won't bore you with the maths. I've run it. It does check out. Um, it's from, they cause themselves choco. The reason there's an extended pause is I was probably like, what was that? That's interesting. That could be true. Because I think it shocked me.

Because the pause I hear is, oh gee, that was a lot of it, I thought. Yeah. The pause for me is you going, that was audible. Should I, I probably should mention it. No, I'll play on. No, pause for me, the pause, the way I hear that pause is, I think I've gone, talking, talking, talking. What's this guy's name? Oh god, Jack's farted.

Oh god, well, we're in the middle of so many things. I'm probably just gonna have to hope no one else heard it. Get back to saying the name. And I think it's sort of a professional judgment call to not prosecute you for the fart, Jack. Anyway, so that's a probable Jack. What's fart number two? You must post farts regularly or else you're a move for the Jack. You'd be out, Jack. What's fart number two? You must post farts regularly or else you're removed from the chat. Oh, you'd be out, Jack. We haven't heard from Jack for seven months.

So that's us talking about only farts. I actually think in this instance, someone, I think I might have even, I think I made a mouth fart. Yeah, I think it's just through laughter. I think it's a mouth fart. Let's have another listen. No case to answer, I don't think. Have another listen,. I think it's a mouth fart. Let's have another listen. No case to answer, I don't think. Have another listen, but I think it is a mouth fart. You must post farts regularly or else you're a moose in the chat. You'd be out, Jack. We haven't heard from Jack for seven months.

It would just be so risky to try and do a fart when we're talking about farts. Well, the other part of the... But it's also on the mic too. Exactly. And at no point do I look across and see Jack standing in his seat. Quickly doing like a giant spinning jump to get his ass in front of the mic.

No, exactly. So I think that was a, that was just someone using a mouth part for effect. Okay, so at least you're not pinged for two there, Jacko. That's good news. Yes. Oh, god. Hey, we haven't played this for a while. I haven't played it this year.

Tell us a segment we haven't thought of in a while. But constantly asked at HamishNady.com. That's our main pipe for correspondence for people to play it. So we're unleashing it today. Chit me with your best chat. Natter away. Chit chat champion. First competitor is Sam. Ahoy to you, Sam.

Ahoy, boys. Ahoy to you. Hey, Sam hasn't put himself forward. Josh, Sam's mate did. He says, my friend Sam is arrogantly confident he could win Chit Chat Champions. Please humble him. This is what's written. And he's also not talking about a certain other thing. Oh, would never. Would never mention it.

Thank you, Sam. Don't want to make the weasel upset. So, got to keep that in mind. Listen, have you always wanted to play? Cause when people get on Chit Chat Champion there, this is often the end of like a many year dream. Oh look, not going to lie, big fan. So I wanted to get on it, but the nerves are absolutely getting to me right now.

Yeah, that's the fun. You can chat all you like, but when you chat in an arena, when you chat with people watching, the chat changes. Well, you know, I had the opportunity where I said I could do Chit Chat Champions and he said, well, I'll write in. And at that point I knew I had to just dig in and go for it. So, I'm here.

I'm glad it wasn't a Peter out for you and your mate Josh. Let's go from Sam to Michael. Michael, ahoy to you. Ahoy boys and hello to Butterboy. I'll let you figure out which one's which. What's butter boy reference? That does ring a bell, but just good power move too to go. Amish and Andy International Phrasebook, um, silver spoon edition.

Yeah, that's a deep cut. Michael has nominated himself today, Ham. Listened to the pod six times, the show six times from 2007. So he's really gone through the back catalogue. He knows. And he showed it. He has showed it there with a reference that got us all scratching heads. Including us. Michael, good luck. You'll be going second. I'll put you on hold now. You won't be able to hear what Sam gets up to. Sam, are you ready to go? Oh, as ready as I'll ever be.

Okay, here we go. Chit-me with your best chat, night or away. Chit-chat champion. Did we play that one again? Did we play that already? I felt like we did. Yeah, we did, Jack. Tired ears. Did we play it? T I felt like we did. Yeah, we did, Jack. Did you feel it? Tired ears. Did we play it? Tired ears. You played it.

We did. Put him back on the break. It's incredible. It's incredible. So funny. It's fun to have fun in a hobby. He really does. Did we play that?

Minutes ago. Yeah. You know the other day where we swapped chairs? Yeah. I did start zoning out a bit. I don't know whether it's a more comfy chair over there or... I think it's just a lot of lights and a lot of buttons and a lot of... It's mesmerising.

A lot's going on over the side. Sure, sure. Too much stimulus. Alright, sorry Sam, you ready? I have to do that again. I'm awesome. But we're actually getting into the competition. Not often before a very important race or competition there's this much of a cuff.

Sorry, we meant to play the sound effect at the start of the Melbourne Cup, but we accidentally played black and black. But now we're gonna get the horses underway. Just to remind people, of course, Ando, this is the situation here. We don't give any cues as to when you need to pick up the chat. That's going to be your instinct only.

Can't ask a question. That's too easy. You just have to simply join in the convo as you deem appropriate. Good luck, Sam. Thank you very much. Oh, good Ando. Oh, well, gee, we're in May now. Of course, the most famous May Day being May the 4th, Star Wars Day.

Yeah, yeah everyone knows Star Wars Day. Well you know I'll tell you what, Star Wars is just super popular, you know. I'm a high school teacher and all these kids love talking about Star Wars, you know. But I think the issue is it's getting a bit died out from all the new TV series that are coming out. Like especially this Obi-Wan series is a bit boring towards the end. Well, wow. Good. Got a lot of words in the air there. Quickly. Sorry, I'm pacing around. The sound effects threw me off. No, it was good. It was good. Good blaming Jack as well. We appreciate that.

If someone had done that, the measurement is if someone had done that in a party and you've just met them. That's the general measurement of this segment. You coming in off the top with Star Wars is popular. Definitely isn't a revelation, I wouldn't say. And then I would have said you over talked. But did the ends justify the end? I think we got there in the end. He actually landed it. He was wobbly in the air, but he landed the plane pretty well. It reminded me actually recently I was at like a carnival with my little boy and they have that machine gun where you have to shoot out the red star on the paper, like it's a little air powered machine gun. And you know, at the start, he's just like,

pffft, like just spraying around. And eventually, the fatherly hand has to come in and guide. I think encourage him to focus the fire a little bit more. That's exactly what happened there. That's a great analogy. Sam, we'll put you on hold. Michael, can you hear us again? Yep.

Sam has registered his go. If you're ready to go, we'll pick it up. Hit the button, you little boy. G'day, Andy. Oh, g'day. Can I just grab that canopy quickly? Thank you. Play on, play on. Well, we're obviously in May, at the moment, because the most famous day in May being May the 4th, Star Wars Day. Oh yeah, everyone knows it's Star Wars Day.

Indeed. What an Orthodox player! Sorry, sorry. It's in! He's out! He's laughed himself out! What was in the canopy? Oh, I don't know. I was losing it after my joke and um.

You were just riding high off the canopy interrupt. I thought you know what I'm just going to bow out here get some laughs and then we're all good. I love the big boys. Good energy. Obviously finishing a mouthful. Sorry guys I'm just finishing a mini quiche. Indeed.

What a chilly in these guys. finishing a mouthful. Sorry guys, I'm just finishing a mini quiche. Indeed. What a chilli in these corns, aren't they? I don't know whether to give it to you or not here because I think there's a huge argument just for the balls to go. But then you worry about the precedent. You worry about the precedent. It's out not the toughest yet, isn't it? Such an unorthodox player. Shook up the game and I love that. I can't give it to him. I can't give it to him, but change the game. You got to try and grab people's attention though, fellas.

You did, you certainly did. But again, if you're putting it... It's not attention grabbers, the game. It's chit chat champions. And as chat barreling in over the top with an hors d'oeuvre request and then a dramatic pause and an indeed on the just purely looking at it for chat, you can't score it hard. For energy it's off the charts. Sam, it's a win. It's a win from you. But again, it wasn't great chat, but it was better

than Michael, which is all you need. Hello, both. Win is win. Thank you both. Winners win. There's something unconventional here, Ham, but I'm going to send, I think we should send a token of no value to both of them because... Yeah, I agree. It was a hoot. Guys, we will attribute absolutely no value to that token if it arrives. Indeed.

Yeah, do what you want with it. Yep, indeed. Okay. Yep, indeed. Okay. Hey, I've got to give Radio Mike some credit here, podcast Mike. He's discovered something that I think would have been missed that requires Darcy to come back to the studio. Of course, our Sam out come in Darcy's reluctant to be being ushered in.

Absolutely adores coming onto the podcast. Darcy, welcome. Thank you. Sorry, Jack will put your mic on. There we go. Yeah, is that it? Can you hear? Yep.

Darcy welcome. We know this will be, you'll cut this out. You don't like any, any slack in your pieces. I thought we'd buried this segment. I think it got back out like Uma Thurman in Kill Bill. I think... I think, much to everyone's surprise, it punched its way out of the cockpit.

Let's have you do it. You're under the microscope right now. A powerful microscope. We're all gonna be under a microscope. You know what? I think... I think maybe it's time you put... Darcy. Under the microscope. You know what I think I think maybe it's time you put Darcy under the microscope. Darcy is back under the microscope. Now there's

obviously things in your personal life that I garner from your fiancee. From Jane yeah. I haven't worked with her for a while so that's to come later on in the end of the year. Very much a man that you like to be glanced at from a distance don't you Darcy? I do. You like us having a picture of you from the distance. This makes you squirm, the microscope. He doesn't like being on... You were on the show because you were redacting parts that...

Yeah. Without permission. That was the initial crime. That was the initial crime. And for that, we obviously saw it fit to punish you for over one year. Personally, I think it made the, it was an edit for brevity and overall enjoyment for the listener. But it was at your expense.

I guess it was. That's the part that made it interesting. That's why I think this one's curious. Okay. Podcast Mike picked up, and you've taken something out recently that was curious. Okay. Podcast Mark picked up and you've taken something out recently that was curious. Okay. Any ideas? I've got no idea.

Any early confession? We never do. No idea what you're talking about. But Dars, we don't take, like, we just don't need to take stuff out. Yeah, yeah. That's why I can just- I come in here every week, slog away for nigh on 50 minutes and then finally to find out some of it's been sifted out.

It was in my song sleuth segment. Yep. We went back to the original recording, managed to get it over the original. This is this is how it's a segment sleuth on song sleuth in inside Darcy under the microscope. This is what I'm curious. We sent it to the lab. Marshy, who normally does the lab work, he's on long service leave.

So Darcy has stepped up. Um, this is the two mashed together. Yeah, I see now. And this is what went to where? We sent it to the lab. Um, this is the two mashed together. Take our little... Erase it all.

Again. Brevity. Erasing... Brevity. How much time do you save? Again, we could probably cut this for Brevity. He's digging himself. Self-dinging. I mean, you just don't want the record.

You don't want to be on the record, do you? Do you like the show? No, not really. Do don't want the record. You don't want to be on the record, do you? Do you like the show? Not really. Do you like it? Do you? Love the show. Love the show. Really? From where we stand, it seems like you're trying to expunge yourself from the record. I'm well and firmly in the background.

I prefer it there. And I prefer it there. I don't need the Redditors coming for me. You know, I just hang back behind the curtain. Has there been Reddit backlash? You would have thought there'd be only universal appreciation. No. In fact, I actually, I make a habit of not checking Reddit, the episodes that I'm on,

just in case there is. Oh. So I'm going to cut that part out. Okay, that's Ando on the digger. Hey, we've got a few irons in the fire on this one. We just want to add one more. Our quest to potentially have a coin, real currency coin, Australian currency, I know it's a high. When you say it out loud, it does seem like a big ask. But dedicated to the show.

Hey, Miss Annie Podcast, commemorative dollar coin. Would it kill you? Would it kill you? Is our message to the Mint. We spoke to Neil from the Royal Perth Mint who said we have no chance. He said, do you want to- He did say that, didn't he? That really took some wind out of sales. Mm. Did you do a revise your prediction? He said, no. Happy with a 0% chance. He said, do you want to? He did say that, didn't he? That really took some wind out of sails. He said, do you want to revise your prediction? He said, no.

Happy with a zero percent chance. So I'm thinking, gee, they must have really tight rules on this, which we thought might be. Yeah. And we were like, have we misjudged this? Until I saw this ad. Okay. This just shocked me.

Have a listen. It's Anaconda, you know, the camping and... I'm just not used to hearing it spoken in a low voice. Yes, sorry, yes. Anaconda! That's it. The outdoor warehouse for fun things. Anaconda and the Royal Australian Mint are releasing special coloured $2 coins celebrating

the 2024 NRL Men's and Women's Premiership. Make a cash purchase in store for your chance to receive these coins in your chain. Janet Conda! What's up? They talk about all... What is up with this? They talk about being really tight... You lost one.

And now they're doing a promotion with a big company. And look, I say good on you. Keep it up. Yes. Who else would you like to do a promotion with? Yes. Maybe they're less stringent on $2 coins. Did they say it was a $2 coin?

I think they did. Oh, right. I thought it was just a two, but you're right, Jack. We want a one. It's always been a $1. I mean, come on. Don't get us on that technicality. We're not asking you to make a $3 coin or anything.

It just feels like a bit of a please explain now. I mean, this is the thing where it sometimes frustrates me with bureaucracy, where they're like, oh, no, we can't do it because we've got these rules. And he's like, mate, let's talk. Let's just talk. Right? You've got the coin press out the back. Yeah.

It's got one side with the king's head on it, which we're not messing around with. And the other, you got the kangaroos in the one. Soon to be king's head. Yep. Take off the kangaroos in one, put this on. Just do us a run of a thousand, mate. We know you can do it. Just do it. Yeah, it doesn't hurt anyone. It's who's it hurting? Anyone.

It's not like you're going to get all the kangaroos from the coin writing and let it go. Gee, we've noticed we haven't been around lately. Who's this? Who's this? Hey, Vigin Andy show. Like, just give us the coin. Yeah. Now, maybe in this conversation, when this Hamish and Andy show? Like, just give us the coin. Yeah. Now maybe in this conversation, when we do get in front of this person, Ham, and this is playing out, he'll turn to us and go, or she, yeah, but you don't even have a design yet. And that's where our great mate, Webb Giza-Jez has been working on a design.

He's just WhatsApp'd to us all. I think it absolutely fits the bill. Jacko, have a look at that. First of all, I've got to say WhatsApp is what an easy system. Look at that. Look at that. I think it's clear. It's not you and I. I know. There's one man bowing very, very deeply. Another man that looks like he's got some thoracic mobility problems from playing so much hockey, bowing lower. And then a weasel, praying or begging.

Some might say he looks like he's waiting to receive a nugget of his own from the middle man. We can play around with the height of the paws. That was my problem with it. I think it looks like one of the paws. That was my problem with it. I think it looks like... Yeah, one of the main bowing. If you are represented by the lower bowing person,

it does look like I'm sniffing your bum. What is this human weasel centipede show? And then it looks like the weasel is ready to catch the deposit from my bum. So yeah, I think because Hamish is so bent over, it does look like he's presenting his bum to the air. And because your bow isn't as low, it looks like what you would... You're an inspector.

Yeah, he's an inspector. Bending over to smell some roses, but it's a but. Yeah, so I think we need to... I mean, we'll put it up on our Instagram. That's our pipe of choice. But we'll put it there. Put it's a butt. Yeah, so I think we need to look, I mean, we'll put it up on our Instagram. That's our pipe of choice, but we'll put it there. Put it there right now. Instagram.

But besides that, what I do like is it's clearly not you and I. No, that's just any old people. And who's the weasel? We don't know. That's what I mean. I also like the fact that it feels like kind of 1940s, doesn't it? Yeah. Like this notion of, you know, and lovely bow and sniffing each other's bum has been around for 80 years. But I was going to say, do we try for that

angle? Do we go like, it's risky because it's alive, but do we say celebrating 40 years of, you know, do we do 40 years of The Hamish and Any Podcasts? Because they do love a milestone. They do, don't they? Like if we went- Although they are real premiership season, celebrating the 2024 premiership season. That's true. And the partnership with Anaconda.

I mean, what's going on there? Have Anaconda bankrolled that or? Don't know. But if there is another big company out there that wants to bankroll ours, if it is, if it turns out and you can only get them and you change, if you go into a certain store, that's fine. We just want some bucks. Is the Anaconda brand on the coin? Have you seen it? No, no, it's not on the coin. So Anaconda is just where you get the change. Yeah. Well, where the coin's stuck.

Cause then they just go out into... Cause they're in, you get the, they're in circulation from then on. But we don't care how they get out there. We'll go and stand on street corners and give them to listeners. Maybe it's the number one coin for buskers everywhere. What if we all took a thousand coins out and we're just like, we'll just wait till we've given away a thousand coins. Of course, like, Andrew, you and I, we could get through a thousand.

Jack would be like, oh, I actually didn't run into anyone, so I took my thousand to the bank. Then once they're at the bank, they'll go out from there. Check out our design and throw us back some suggestions. We've had a couple just off the bat, as Jez has said that through. Hamish Nanny Instagram will put up on the website as well. But yeah, I will get to the bottom and then we should just ask them. Oh, you'll get to the bottom. All right. You're like, you're almost there. About 30 centimeters off from the look of things. More updates to come.

And before we go special skill that I would like to, I don't know if it's a flight or it could be a Rex flight. It could be a regional flight. Okay. So you got a, uh, gyms available or we're paying for a possibly like a three hour drive into the studio. So, so, oh, actually, no, it's, yeah, it's, this will be a flight. This would be a flight. Um, Olivia is her name.

She writes me the special skill. She calls herself the treadmill tamer. She's well, there's wild treadmills out there. Yeah. So it gives me the, like the vibes that she might've been already on Australia's got talent or something like that. Although when you see the skill, you wonder how the judges would react. She says, put me on a treadmill, cover up the screen, set the speed to anywhere

from zero to 10 kilometers an hour, even feel free to change the speed up and down as I'm on it. And I'll be able to tell you to pause the treadmill at any distance you select, i.e. put me on, start varying the pace with everything covered up. You tell me to stop at 2, 4, 600 meters, 800 meters, 1 kilometer. She'll land it on it. She goes happy to discuss variance options, but I would be happy with 10 metres either side.

Wow. We've got her on there. We turn the speed up and down and we go, right, stop at 800 metres. So then, you know, whatever, a couple of minutes later, she's like, boom. So she stops it or we stop it and then ask. I guess she would stop it because we select the distance. I think that's well, we've got her up here. Let's ask Olivia. Olivia.

Ahoy. Ahoy boys. Ahoy to you. And now Olivia, just for clarity, are you stopping the treadmill or are we stopping it and then asking you to tell us how far you've gone? Well, we could do either way. Pretty much what would be the best way is if you said, stop it at 600 meters. And then I would say, take the cover off or whatever's on there.

And it would be at 600 meters. Unreal. I think we need one that has almost like, you know, some have the emergency stop, the red thing. Yeah. Because you don't want to go stop and then it's still like ticking over time. You want it to kind of like be, we don't want you to see the screen, but we want

you to be able to instantaneously stop at a certain distance. That would be my initial thoughts, Ando. Yeah. Olivia, do you work in the field or do you just love running? How did this come about? Well, I probably actually hate running, which is probably how it come about. When I go to the gym, I just do a kilometer warm-up on the tready and I just can't wait for that kilometer to get there.

So I'm just, I'm like, I rest and I'm there and I pull it off and one kilometer, bang, stop, off. Thank goodness that's over. Right. And then I started to try and test myself and I was like, oh, I wonder if I could stop at it 200 metres and you know, there or thereabouts. This definitely isn't one of those skills that I've done once and I think I'm an expert. Good, good, because we don't like people quicker than themselves. Yeah, especially if we're forking out.

No, never. No, no, if we're going to buy you the cheapest available airfare to Melbourne, we need to know it. We're going to get bang for buck. So Olivia, would you, I imagine, is it a one go, Ham? Like, or are we trying? I reckon we do three distances. Three different distances. You know what I like? We did this, I think, with the price guessing game for the power tools, where we sort of go, I can't remember if you approved this method or not, Ando. I thought

it was very good. When we go right across three distances, you've got say 50 meters to play with. Yeah. So if we go like 200 and you stop at 230, be like, all right, got it. You got 20 left. So you have to get sharper now. I like that. I think that's going to work. Yeah. Do you need a warm up run on it, Olivia? Like just because it's obviously a new treadmill for you, you'd be used to going to the regular one. Please tell us which one you like and we'll try and source it, but that's a big ask. Oh no, that's fine. Just as long as, obviously, and I'm sure it won't be, but not on like incline. Yeah, it won't be on incline. No, that'd mess around with you. No, it will be a powered treadmill. Like it will be your regular,

you know, speed is speed, I suppose. Like that's the... Yeah, yeah. Distance is distance, speed is speed. Yep. That's the beauty of it, isn't it? That's the beauty time. I'd be surprised if the timer is off between treadmills. Let's give her 60 meters to play with. 60 over-

Okay. Yeah, plus for three, for three. You're right. Yeah, 60 meters, plus or minus, you know, whenever she's off, that adds to the accumulative 60 meters. You happy with that, Olivia? Yeah, that sounds good. Yep.

Have you ever stopped at bang on like one zero zero kilometer? Yeah. Yeah. How's that? That must, that must feel awesome. I think I just packed up and went home. My gym day was over. I've done what I went there to do.

I got some funny looks. Like, yeah, didn't she just get you five minutes ago? Oh, she must be done. She's done. Well, you're not including the walk to the treadmill. I know, it's all distance. Olivia, we will see you soon. Thanks so much for joining us.

Can't wait. Thank you. Love it. Haim, I know you've delayed getting a dog in your family, obviously the Blake family, because Jimothy and Potato have taken pride in place, the two cats. A couple of them are small cats. But there are a few things that Henry does, my dog, and I'm sure Luna does, that I've realised now are actually true of all dogs.

Dog behaviour. Dog behaviour. Eating dog food. And there's one that's- Barking. There's one that's- Lifting your leg. No, not all dogs lift their leg.

What do they do? It's only a male thing. Yeah. Is that right? Yeah. It doesn't make sense to anything about it. Yeah. Well, I didn't realize that either.

When I saw- I guess cats don't. I don't know what they're doing in the litter tray. Cats have quite a lot of privacy. It's even from when they're little babies. So a male cat won't lift a leg. I don't think they do. I've never seen a cat kink a leg. I don't think they do. I've never seen a cat kink a privacy. It's even when they're little babies.

So a male cat won't lift a leg? I don't think they do. I've never seen a cat kink a leg. Well, we've got a little cave. It's more of like, you know, like a little, I suppose it's a little turd cave that they go into. It's like not an enchanted cave, but they like to be sort of protected in there.

Like cats like to be, I guess, safe while they go in the toilet. So it's a little turd cave. They go in, we just hear scratching around, but I have no idea what they're doing in there, honestly. Then they come out, I guess, safe while they go in the toilet. So it's a little turd cave they go in. We just hear scratching around, but I have no idea what they're doing in there, honestly. Then they come out, we sort of make eye contact and then they go about their day. That's kind of nice, isn't it? You don't have to walk in it.

But that's cats. They keep to their own business and that's the deal you make with cats. That's quite the part of it. It's interesting you bring that up, because one thing that I didn't realise is when a dog's doing a poo, it'll stare you straight in the eye. It looks for eye contact. It looks straight in the eye. And it's the deepest gaze you could possibly imagine. And not a romantic gaze.

No. It's the gaze that like someone who's hostage that doesn't want to let their captain know that they're trying to alert you. Also, she's trying to give you signals. That's the kind of gaze. Like, change my food. This is hurting me. Well, yeah, you just, I just get a look from the cats when they're coming out of the turd

cave, but it's very cat-like because it's like, in you go, mate, clean that up. All right. It's like, I'm finished. Because they know, I think they've figured out that the humans, it's our job to clean the cave. But yeah, we just get a bit of a very clear the power dynamic after they come out. They just kind of go off you pop. I've since learned, looked it up. It's because dogs feel vulnerable to attack. Yeah. If they're if they're pooing. So they stare at you going, have you got my back? Yeah. Have you got my

back? Well, and evidently you generally do have their back as you have to surf around a little plastic bag. You build trust. It's a trust. I mean, I don't think we'll see this adopted across like corporate Australia to go because Trust Falls were very, they were very nineties. We're now going to do a thing where you'll do a number two in front of a colleague and just using eye contact, let each other know that you have the full trust of the team.

Then the more senior person will wander around with a plastic bag in his hand and sort you out. Thank you for your vulnerability.