Hamish & Andy - 2024 Ep 257 - Hamish & Zoe’s risky dinner party theme

Episode Date: June 19, 2024

Listener Hugo thinks he can name the drummer in any band by simply looking at a photo of them, so does he live up to the hype? Hamish hosted a 'dress as your partner' dinner party, which uncovered a lot of interesting details about how his partner perceives him. Meanwhile, Andy had an incident at a local French cafe, and needs Hamish to help him resolve it, and maybe get some free ham for Henri in the meantime. Plus - a frog based special skill evaluation and Andy's amazing sleep quality. 1. Guess the drummer - special skill 2. ‘Dress as your partner’ dinner party 3. Hamish helps Andy out of an awkward situation at his local cafe 4. Identifying the frog by its croak 5. 100% sleep quality 

A listener production. Activate your internet because the Hamish and the podcast starts in three, two, sorry, still buffering. One. Ahoy to me Java. Hamish. Ahoy. Yes. One. Ahoj to me Java, Hamish. Ahoj, yes, yes. I was gonna say we're either coffee, but I think we might be something else.

What might Jack be? Ahoj to me Python. Yeah, I think we're languages. We're languages. Script, yeah. We're programming languages. Baby and Andy. And I'm HTML.

The classic. Yes. What are the differences there? That's all I know though. Yeah, Haim, you, Java released in 1995, one of the most popular programming languages. Spotify used Java. Netflix applications used Java to develop there. Python, an emerging excitement machine. There's a lot of ground swell about Pi. Gain widespread use in machine learning communities. That's you, Jaco. And then HTML, sorry that's Jaco, HTML is just me, you know, stands for hypertext markup language.

Just run of the mill. You know, design documents on a web browser, but still, again, you would... You'd get it done. You'd get it done. You'd get it done. You'd get the job done. Certainly not the best script language to hang out with at the party, I would say. There's more...

You haven't given yourself... I just figured that you were like, you know, oh, and without me, the internet would die. No, no, no. It's just the way the company's coupled to be. Python's probably the bad boy company's coupled to be. Python's probably the bad boy amongst us. I would say when Python arrives at Pi, I think it's like, you know, like new, like send AI.

Oh, gosh. I'm working on new stuff. Like you're doing music play at home and video play out. That's cute, but like machine learning and AI. I think people can recognize that Netflix and Spotify were good projects that I worked on. Oh no, sure, they're great. Oh, you've established yourself.

Java, you've like... I am, I am. Yeah, I'm out the back. People go, oh, when's Python getting here? He's already here. He's out the back in the bungalow. Yeah. Ooh, cool. He jumped the fence. He didn't even come to the party through the front door. But at the party, Jack, I wouldn't be surprised if you came over to me, the wise old dog, and just said, hey man, give us a hit of that for a second,

can I kick your brains? No, you were a big inspiration. I'm inspired. Appreciate it. I'm inspired by the big... Appreciate it. Appreciate it. Ahoy also to Noah, who's in Canada,

who used HamishNeddy.com to tell us what he's up to. And ahoy back to you, Eva. Ahoy boys, Noah here, Eva. Ahoy, boys. Noah here, recording from Nelson, British Columbia. And I just had a quick question regarding Power Moves. I purchased the honorable first edition of the Power Moves Volume 2 book for a secret Santa for a mate.

But before I could give it to him around Christmas time, he jetted off to Canada for his ski season. But here I am, hoping to give him the book in a couple of weeks to surprise him and wondering if this could possibly be considered a power move because he's going to have to pay some serious oversized baggage fees on his way home because of the book's immense weight. Let me know your thoughts. Oh yeah, wow. That's a lot to unpack there, literally. It's a huge book he has to take home.

And, you know, we do love a niche power move. One of our favourite things is the category to which the power moves fit in. And I guess this is one to go, if you would like to get supremacy on a mate you're visiting in another country that you know is near the weight limit, please like it.

Give him a bulky gift. Do this, take a large book that he has to his luggage. Give him a bulky gift. Do this. Take a large book that he has to bring home. It's a great PowerMove. I think it is because the amount of times I have been interstated or away and someone's gone, hey, here's this gift for you and you're like, how the hell am I taking this home? Small gifts only. Small gifts only.

Trinkets, diamond necklaces, that will do. PowerMove's book's still available due to Hogs's mess. How many are there, do you reckon? 16,000, I think it's Diamond Necklaces, that'll do. Power Moves books still available due to Hogs's... How many are there, do you reckon? 16,000, I think? I think he jumped the gun on that one. Remember, Big Hogs had gone mad. So yeah, Insanity Edition. Take advantage of a Mad Men Edition,

I think it is, is still available. You don't want to be given 16,000 books at once when you're in Travelling, do you? No, that's a freight Power Move. What a bummer. We thought we'd kick off the show. Funnily enough, we were talking about being in a band at parties and we wanted to kick off the show with a special skill that came to us recently.

And this could be, I'm going to flag this up front, this could be dangerous kicking off the show with a special skill because I personally think the chances of young Hugo nailing this are low. Will Reedie's special skill? Okay. Special skill was, you show me a picture of any band and I can tell you who the drummer is. Now, obviously not the band performing.

We all know the trick there. It's usually the guy behind the drums with the sticks. But if you show me a picture of a band socially hanging out, I will be able to tell you who the drummer is. Or their band poster, which again, some clues because the drummer's normally at the back, just being cool. Not in Genesis. Certainly not looking at the camera.

That's one of the sort of the drummer moves. Yep. But again, but you can overthink this so much. Having now studied a few band photos this morning, I'm like, it just could be to my eye and I can feel drumming, but I guess I can't see drummers. You know, that's an interesting thing. Again, if there's any scientists out there who wish to come and put electrodes on me and study my, the way my brain absorbs music.

That could be another fun thing to put in your thesis. Yep. I haven't been contacted by anyone yet. And we won't put a specific drop down menu page on the website for this particular call out. Are you here to study home for your music doctorate? How can he feel music but not see drummers? Hugo joins us, Sam. Hugo joins us.

He's standing by right now. Hugo, ahoy to you. Ahoy boys, congratulations Andy on the engagement and congrats Hame on the larger B. No, not large. Thank you so much. One we celebrate, one we wish to acknowledge. Acknowledge and put behind us, but science is spoken and we thank you for noticing. Look, Hugo, here's the thing.

What are you basing this special skill on? Because we got excited by this. We're like, we want to hear someone do this. This sounds hard. But what are you basing this on? I play drums in a band. So I go to gigs and then, you know, before the band's gone on stage, I go, that's definitely the drummer. And I'm right more than not. So that's when you're seeing the person in the flesh. I mean, is this different like off a picture or are you still confident?

being the person in the flesh. I mean, is this different like off a picture or are you still confident? Well, yeah, as time's progressed, I've transferred the skill over to photos. So I'm pretty confident, but you know, it's a tough skill. So, who knows? So it's just a vibe thing. It's like big stick energy. You can just get that feeling off them. If you didn't know that I was the drummer in our band, would you have got drum vibes from me? Probably not. You're more of a front man hand. Wow. That's surprising. Well, bad rehearsal because we gave you a layup and you could have said yes. But no, appreciate the compliment. You guys are an exception, so. Yep. That's true. We're an unusual band. Okay. Let's jump into this. Are you ready to go? We've got three bands. We've got three bands.

We've got three bands. We've sent you the photos. We'll sort of, I mean, we know this is very, very visual. We're going to describe it for you. But before we get into it, I organized today as opener. Not really a rush, but just, you know, didn't have time to get Ando across it. But here we go. let's play! Andi Darling, let's get a bunch of band pictures And based off visuals, Hugo thinks that he can tell Which one can drum, Who will it be? Which one can drum and can he? Get old fun! I think it's just three actually. Yeah we did update that to just three.

Just three. But a quick bit of musical mastery there to realise which one can drum. That's it's in your range by the way. That's not bad is it? That was actually, that was quite good. Okay, we're going with, let's say if he gets two of the drummers out of three. That's impressive. He gets a coin? Yep. We've got three bands here. We will tell you in advance the bands increase from difficulty in terms of members of band. The final one is an absolute doozy. I would say you want to go two from two to begin with. Yes, because we're starting with a three piece, then we're moving to a four piece, then we're finishing the nine piece.

So you don't want to be relying on the third band. Worth noting too that Hugo has these photos. We're just describing them for the... This is for the fun of the listeners. And you might like to play along and guess too. And if you do well, I don't know if we'll bring this back, but you could be coming back for... I can guess the drummer from an audio description of a band.

Okay, band number one. Here we go. Band number one. Smokestack Rhino. one. Smoke Stack Rhino. Smoke Stack Rhino. Here is 10 seconds of what Spotify says is their most popular song. Three piece band. We like their sound. Alright, man number one.

They're all sitting, I should say, at a bar. They're all sitting in front of a bar on stools looking at the camera. Guy number one, he's pointing at his pint, he's got a denim jacket on and he's got your traditional Jesus hair beard combo and a hat. Guy number two, short hair, glasses on, thin pencil mustache, holding his beard, not pointing at it, jean shorts and a t-shirt. Only man in shorts. Only man in shorts. The least denim of anyone and he seems to have a Garmin watch or possibly a Samsung. Man number three, the longest

hair. Nice clean fluffy hair, not fluffy but you know clean long hair down to his nipples. Double denim, looks to be a bootleg cut jean and unbuttoned all the way down to his navel, necklace. necklace, very prominent boonie moustache and a sort of a black Stetson. He's going for the look the most, he's got a look. He has a look capital A, capital L. All right Hugo, who's the drummer? One, two or three. I'm going to lock in two, I'm pretty confident on that too. You've gone with the t-shirt and short sneakers. You just don't wear shorts if you're at the front of the stage standing up, I don't think.

Shorter hair. Normally the most normal looking bloke in the band is the drummer. I'd agree with that. I'm gonna go with lock in number two. I love the logic. It's number three. It's our longest headband in double denim. Doesn't look like a drummer, does he? I feel like that's too much denim restrictive to be able to play anything kind of... I don't know if they're fresh off a gig. This might be them having a band meeting with Godor and Ember that.

With Lennyus? Yeah, with the high security pub. Or they both work out the pub. But yeah, I think we don't know for sure. I mean, he could be putting his hair up, he could be changing to life, but we don't know. Andy, band number two, Track Suit Larry. Track Suit Larry, here's a bit of them.

I wanna jump the cube and over the fence and mend the 0.0086% I need a twin room off the top of the stack I need a leave soon, Give me an Uber flight. Four-piece band, two females, two males, if they identify as such ham. They're all in tracksuit pants. Let's quickly rip through them.

Number one, he's in a full yellow tracksuit, like Uma Thurman in Kill Bill. He's wearing Birkenstocks, has a beard. Number two, it's a girl, a bob kinda haircut. Almost the Rachel cut. Almost the Rachel cut. Almost the Rachel cut. Parachute jacket, but it's not top and bottom the same. She's got a black pant on and a converse it looks like.

I think it could be a Vans, but play on. Sorry. Man in the center, red. He's got red tracksuit bottoms and top suit. Looks like a set piece. He seems to be the central person, would you agree? Probably he's the most handsome. Yeah, and then alongside him.

No offense to number one. Another female, long black hair, a parachute jacket and similar pants, but probably not the same set. And the only person wearing a runner. Yes, could be a Nike, could be a sneaker, could be a fly knit. We're out of time, but that's what you've got. I'm gonna, yeah. This one's tougher, but I'll go with four. Why do you say four?

She's got her sleeves rolled up. It's not number one. He's got Birkenstocks on. I don't think he plays the drums in Birkenstocks. I'm with you on that one. I could. She just looks like she could be a drummer. That's just the vibe. I think he's got it. He's got it. He's got it. He's really impressive. And she's got the most of her face covered too so it's obviously not a facial thing like her hair's in front of her face. But you're not going off a runner look, which is obviously a better high performing shoe to drum in.

Yeah. It takes us to the final one. We're not going to describe everybody. We're not. This school, this band is called The Fabric. Some of Mike's friends from high school were in this band. Were? Are? They might have broken up since then. They're a lot. Here's a ten piece band and they've taken a black and white, well it's not a panoramic photo so they've all had to squash into the photos, it's taken from quite a long way away. And everyone's, you know, it looks like between number four and five, number five's a woman,

she's tilting her head so number four can be seen. So it's actually obviously quite hard to get the whole band into a single picture. They all look the same. They kind of are, it's black and white and to be honest, if there's no, they're all about the same age, like you've got like mid-twenties, some have facial hair, some have beanie, some don't, some obviously, some are men, some have facial hair some have beanie some don't some obviously some are men some women some have got a jacket on some a Brave to t-shirt but that's really I mean I don't think it's interesting for anyone not playing along to hear the description of a black and

white photo of this band no can probably hear the first two either but let's go one would just settle really settle the argument of how bad it is if you had 10 people one to 10 Who do you think is that drama? Straight away start off the bat. I'm gonna lock it into and go number 8 Why do we think number 8? Just looks like a drummer. Yeah, I mean that's the game isn't it and he's wearing he's wearing a polo He's not looking at the camera Andy as you mentioned earlier on often the drummer Doesn't feel He's not looking at the camera, Andy. As you mentioned earlier on, often the drummer doesn't feel they need

to look at the camera. I don't know why we think that. I think it's because we just have this feeling that we've done enough for this band. We're the engine rooms. We're not doing looking at the camera as well. I'm not speaking for all drummers. That's just how I feel in our band.

Hugo, with a coin on the line, I'm pleased to announce that the drummer is number two and I'm not that pleased. Why pleased? Why pleased? Why pleased? That he's wrong. Interesting Freudian slip from Andy there. There you go Hugo you're off by six people it's actually number two. Mike what did number eight do in the band? Oh, the bass. He's the bassist. Yeah, close. Would you have ever got number two, Hugo?

He has a sort of a, one of those patch goatees. Yeah, he was definitely my next guess. No, he wasn't. Okay, pretty close then. Good to you, Hugo. He was. Sorry, we'll send you out a token. No value, mate.

Thank you very much for bringing me in. Have a good one. Thanks, Hugo. Ambitious from everyone, ambitious from us describing, but at least in the end, it pleased Andy to see a man fail. Gentlemen, on the weekends, I had a dinner at our house that was somewhat playing with fire in the interest of comedy. You've done this before though.

Well, not this exact theme. This was come dressed as your partner. This was the theme. And that is, it's a fun one. Zoe had seen it on TikTok, I think, or on Instagram. She was like, oh, let's do that. Let's have a dinner at our house where that's the theme. And the thing you see on Instagram and TikTok is the bit where people come through the door.

And it's like, Oh, great. You know, Andy's dress is the dress is Beck, Beck's dress is Andy. Great. And you have that kind of moment. Oh, you know, here's Jack, here's Bianca. And that's the bit you see. And that's the bit that makes you go ha ha ha. But then what you don't see on Instagram is that for the next few hours, you're in character and then it turns into almost like a role play therapy session of like, Hey, this is what I think you act like. And it ebbs and flows with laughs. And basically the pattern would be laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh.

All right, mate. That is enough. OK, OK. So you escalate, escalate, escalate. Then there's like, OK, well, I don't do that. OK, OK. And I mean, just even disappearing into our bedroom, like before a party to be like,

just give me half an hour and I'm going to work out my outfit. Even that got some, there was some suspicion from Zoe. She was like, well, you could just don't, don't, what are you going to touch? Like, what are you going to wear? Because Zoe going into my room and getting my stuff, the most damage she can do is about $80 worth of, if she broke, like, you know, if she broke a pair of shorts or a shirt, 80 bucks is the overhead. I tried to squeeze into a dress.

That was my first option. And I heard a stitch rip and I went, okay. That's just worth more than my entire wardrobe. My shoulders may have done a bad thing here. So then went out and I said, name, name the top three most expensive brands you would have in your wardrobe. Just, it's just like, what have you done? I was like, I'm not telling you which one it was because if I tell you, you'll say,

oh, I know the dress and like, I can tell it's broken. But I'm not going to tell you because I think I've got away with it, but just name the top three. And I did get away with it. So then I had to pick something a little more like flexible for me. I was happy with my outfit. I think I did a pretty good job. For a full body woman.

Well, I was wearing this, I was just wearing a very loose, flowy, colorful top. Zoe wears a lot of like a lot of very colorful baggy stuff. And she's petite. She is small. The idea that you could get into anything. Yeah. And that's why I said, I came down and I was like, can't believe I fit into this dress, into this top. And she was like, it's a dress.

Like that goes to my knees. It's like, oh cool. Well, it's a t-shirt on me. So we're, we're improvising. We're improvising. If you though think it through, do you reckon you would do well? This is a question to you guys. Do you reckon you would do well doing the character?

Cause remember two hours and there's obviously some martinis and things involved. So people get a bit more confident in pushing the boundary of their character. I don't think we instigated any divorces, but there was definitely people were toeing the line. There were more things that the girls said, okay, we're not making jokes about that. Then the guys said, we're not, please don't do that. Please don't keep scratching your balls and stuff like that.

We were fine with that. That was like, if you don't do that. Please don't keep scratching your balls and stuff like, we were fine with that. That was like, if you want to do that, go for it. I imagine this kind of dinner party that on the way, a lot of discussions on the way home, once you're in the car and doors are closed, like, hmm. Why did you keep talking in that voice? Yeah, exactly. It's funny, it's funny.

We were just going from, it was comedy. I'm not on my phone that much, that type of, that type. It was very, very, on my end of things, I got in trouble. So I was like this, just knowing what a minefield it was, potentially, potentially, for just, just, you know, you step a little bit off the path and you could end up in trouble. My character, me being Zoe, I'm just going to be super complimentary to Hamish all night. I'm just going to be super complimentary to Hamish all night. I'm just going to talk about what a wonderful guy he is and like, you know, lead a few toasts to just talk about what a sensitive man and lover he is.

And so I actually got in trouble, Zo turned to me and was just like, stop being, okay, I get it. Stop being so nice. Stop being so nice. It's not funny. Stop being so nice. Stop being so nice. It's not funny. Stop being so nice. I was like, well, I can't be, I can't be in trouble for playing a nice character. Smart plan.

So I was, yeah, I was taught off for not being a jerk as my character. It's like my, my direction was like, yeah, grid it up a bit. Grid it up. How did she portray you? Yeah, it wasn't flattering. There was a lot of, yeah, standing at the top of the table, like a lot of arms in the air, like, oh, God, I'm too about my golf shot. I think it's because I just got home from, we were all at the McFanning Golf Day on Friday, and her immediate character reference was that of

a man that thinks he might be interested in golf stories. Which is what you get on the Hertz ad whenever you arrive in Sydney as well. So you've adopted this golfing character. On the escalator, yeah, that was actually my, yeah, one of the first times I'd worn a golf club was in the ad for the Hertz ad. Quick one on the golf day that we were at, just while we're covering our recent topics, last Friday, Jack, I just want to just quickly check something and I'm sure it's fine, but I know Jack, you were taken as a guest of the golf brand we all independently decided to use. Yes.

Yes. TaylorMade. Yes. And it seemed like they made it very good to you. Obviously, did they pay for you to go? They did, yeah. I was very thankful. You've only got more than any of us have gone. And I thought that might be the case. And I know that they've been very generous with clubs and whatnot. And at the after party, like there was the drinks afterwards at the hotel, I went down to fetch Jack. I don't know if you know this or not. I went down to fetch Jack and he was having dinner with the entire TaylorMade crew. And I thought that is nice of Jack to have taken them out to dinner.

Very small token of appreciation to say thank you for looking after me at the golf date. I just want to know Jack was that... You know, you know, you know. I know what? TaylorMade paid for the dinner. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

And I am very thankful. Oh my gosh. No, you should have seen my thank you text. Unbelievable. So gracious. What a treat. Too many gibs. Jack, Haim knows what we're doing. You missed the meeting this week for the first time in

a while, but I'm being kind. You never come to the meeting. I was like, where are you going with this? Yes. Now I know how Beck feels to get pranked by Andrew. It was so sad to not get your regular PowerPoint presentation as we all caught up the day before the show. But I was explaining to Haim, Jack, that there's a cafe near the new place that Beck and I are renting, the one that flooded and then we're back in, called Mimulette, right? It's a French cafe run by a French guy. He only employs French people, it seems.

I went in there one day. They were swamped. It was really busy. It's a great spot. Like your apartment. people it seems. I went in there one day, they were swamped. It was really busy. It's a great spot. Like your apartment. And I'd... I ordered and paid and then it seemed like the backlog was just getting too big for them. There were a person down and I knew it wasn't going to come out in time and I had to get a go at a meeting. And I said, I'm really sorry. Have you started making

it? They said, no. I'd already paid. He said,, don't worry, we'll just give you, you're a regular order next time. Okay. Should point out this is a ham cheese toastie, Jack, and a hot chocolate. Yep. Okay. Next time I went in, I hoped that they would remember. Yes, because it's awkward to say.

Yeah. And then they didn't. This is the funny thing, you would have no problems, Jack saying, I'm here under the program, under the free sandwiches for Jack program. I actually have difficulty being a weasel in face to face. You like arm's length? Yes.

The podcast is a perfect place to weasel. Because you're not looking at the person. Exactly. So I went, I thought that they would say they didn't, I then paid and I kind of went, oh gosh, I shouldn't have done that. But I won't bring it up. I'll just do it next time. And then the next time it felt like I'd already had a transaction and I didn't feel right bringing up. So every time I'm hoping that they remember.

It's now three months. They haven't remembered. And I've been in there. I've been in a lot. And I kind of feel like I'm entitled to a, not a free hot chocolate, a hot chocolate I paid for. Andy wants his hot chocolate and he's, well, all goods to the very off. So this is where, to catch up to Speed Jack, so you say Andy goes to me, do you think we could do that thing where you write the script using my expertise?

Yep. I can probably come in with a bit more of an overview. I am at arm's length and as a friend and as a sticky situation consultant, I can probably come in with a bit more of an overview. I am at arm's length and as a friend and as a sticky situation consultant, I can write the script for Andy, give it to him so he can knock this thing on the head and get him that ham cheese, toasty and hot chocolate. Or as you're about to see when you read the script, Andy, goods to the value thereof. Now you, the other important factors Andy told me, I was like, give me everything you know about this case, okay? If you really want my help, I need the full

picture. Andy often goes with Henry, the allegedly tall terrier, and they know him as the guy with the dog, right? Yep. Plenty of dogs go there, but yeah, they don't know me with Henry. And because he also often gets a slice of ham for Henry. Is that true? That's true. You get a piece of ham for Henry. So they'll be like, Oh, that's the guy with the, that we give the ham to the dog too.

Yes. I also never have mustard in my ham and cheese toastie. And the owner doesn't like that. He thinks it's not very French. Yeah. You would also, and it was the brunette young lady that served you. Okay. I've popped a bit of French in the script.

So maybe we do a rehearsal first, just if you need some help with the pronunciations. So this is, my hope is that this gets you a desired outcome. Okay. But you must stick to the script. Okay, I won't. Every word. I won must stick to the script. Every word has been handcrafted to get you the desired outcome. Jack, do you want to be the restaurant? Yeah, sure. Okay. Bonjour. My name is Andy Lee.

Hi, Andy. Good to see you again. You'll be more French than that. And I'm going to be on the phone. Hi, Andy. Just bonjour. Bonjour Andy. You probably know me. If you want to go and do a two-wing class about your character. I feel it's unfair one of us has a script and the other doesn't.

No, that's true. Sorry. You probably know me. I come into the cafe regularly, but I'm also the host of The Hundred with Andy Lee, although you'd probably say when you see me, it's more like The Hungry with Andy Lee. Am I right? Oh, yes. Sorry, I'm just doing the script. Oh, boy. There we go. Ice broken.

Yes, Andy, we remember you. You come in with your dog. Anyway, I'm calling with a slightly difficult situation. A month or so ago, I ordered a ham cheese toastie and a hot chocolate, but the cafe was so busy I had to leave, but I had already paid. The brunette mademoiselle... Get him on side with French. The brunette mademoiselle said, I could just not pay next time.

And je suis désolé. It has never been mentioned again. Yes, I'm so sorry. It's never been mentioned again. Okay. We do so many transactions here. I don't specifically remember that happening, but okay. I love your cafe.

I love French things, the bread, the smoking, the cinema. I love France. I don't want anything to stand between us. As you know, I sometimes come in with my tall yet petite terrier, Henry. Henry, she gets one slice of, how do I say ham in front? I think it's yam bon or jambon. Jambon, ham. Okay, but I won't, okay, maybe I do have to qualify it

if you know my pronunciation. You probably butcher it, so just to say the ham as well. Jambon, ham. Yeah, no, yeah, I do. I remember the dog, I just don't remember saying a free sandwich. Okay, yeah. I'll forget about the cheese toastie and hot chocolate

if I could have 100 free pieces of ham for Henry. For my next 100 visits, one piece of ham, no questions asked. And everyone knows that I'm the guy who gets one piece of, one free piece of ham for his dog. Un morceau de jambon gratitude. So that's one free piece of ham. Okay.

I like that and throw it in if you're confident. I mean, I'm not even confident the way I said it. So just if you're feeling it and you're maybe you might be picking up some of the pronunciation off of him. Yeah, I suppose. I really am Andy Lee from the hundred hundred piece of ham the ham bread ham bread And then do we have it okay cool, yeah, I think that work. Yeah. All right. Good luck. Thank you. I Won't wave it from the script at all. You've got 2% leeway. Okay. Luna's calling me, hello?

Bonjour, my name is Andy Lee. Yeah, oh. Which is speaking? Bonjour, my name is Andy Lee. Yeah, what's up? Yeah, you probably know me. I come into the cafe regularly and I'm the host of The 100 with Andy Lee. Yeah, what's up? Yeah, you probably know me. I come into the cafe regularly and I'm the host of The 100 with Andy Lee. Although when I'm in there, it's probably more like The Hungry with Andy Lee, right?

Oh, yeah. Andy, how are you? Yeah, good, good, good, good. Anyway, I'm calling with a slightly difficult situation. About a month ago, I ordered a ham and cheese toasty and a hot chocolate, but the cafe was so busy that I had to leave and I'd already paid. And the brunette mademoiselle said that I should just not pay next time. And je suis désolé, it has never been mentioned again. Oh, is it? Yeah, no worries. Just come back whenever. Just tell us that and either me

or the girls will handle it. Oh, wonderful. I will forget that. I'm happy also to forget the cheese toastie and hot chocolate if I could get 100 free pieces of ham for Henry for my next 100 visits. One piece of ham, no questions asked and everyone knows that I'm the guy who gets the free piece of ham for his dog. Mate don't worry we'll get you the toastie and your hot chocolate on the house and we'll get you the ham as well. It's no big deal man, don't worry about it. Ham is just ham. Thank you. Thank you so much. I suppose now I'm the ham-dred with Andy Lee. Yes, no worries mate.

Okay, thank you. Great deal. Talk to you soon. See you next time Andy. Take it easy. Bye. Bye. See you next time Andy, take it easy, bye. Bye. Little Beauty, the sandwich and a hundred pieces of ham and we have it recorded. Jack, can you bring up that end bit where Andy did the hamdra joke and where we heard the man piss himself? We don't have time.

No Jack, bring it up quickly, we just want to isolate it just to hear the laugh again. Has anyone got time for an extra laugh. Yeah, no worries mate. He loved it. He got it. He got it and he loved it. Gentlemen, I'm excited to see this land on my side of the fence. A special skill. We

probably had a rocky start to special skills this year. We've righted the ship a little bit. I feel like we've been more discerning. Yeah, we have. We had a rocky start because we threw it out to a guy that could take all these clothes off in 2.5 seconds, including your shoes socks. That lead went cold. That lead went cold when we realised that he's probably standing there, puffed, sweaty,

naked, and he's looking at his partner and she's like, it's nine and a half. Yeah, it's fun to come home from the pub and email your favourite podcast. It's another thing to come in and do it. We're also five or six years into this thing, so you're going to clean out a lot of the kind of the normal areas. It's like an Olympics, you can't have the same sport twice. Like obviously in your early days, you're doing running, swimming, swimming, swimming, swimming for whips. No, I don't want to jump in.

Do you really not want to? Are you just saying that to enter the event and then you're going to be a gun? I really don't want to. I was really not want to? Are you just saying that to enter the event and then you're going to be a gun? I really don't want to. I was swimming for wimps at high school. On the swimming day you had to choose at least one sport so I chose backstroke because it's least likely to drown. That's swimming. No Jack, I'd be right up there as a swimper with you.

And you know, as a swimper, I can tell you what, mate, backstroke as a swimmer is the most anxiety ridden one because as you hit the beach, you can't, I know, you think you have to slow down, even if you are getting at some speed, you have to slow down at the end because you don't want to clonk your head. And it's the funnest kid, it's the kid that always gets a little bit of a response. Remember, we went to school back in the days we were bullying, it wasn't encouraged, it was certainly more prevalent. So the kid that zigzagged...

I hit my ropes definitely. Yeah, it's a bit of bumper bowling on your way down. And then in years seven and eight, maybe at a stretch nine, the person who won was the person who was fearless getting to the end because the amount of people who stopped searching for the ink because they didn't want to bop their head. They'd stop and tread water and look back. You have to know the Red World Record line is getting away from you at that point. And it wasn't uncommon for people to stop twice or thrice. I'm guilty of exactly all these moves as a champion swim. And that's what we're not talking about. We're not talking about swimming.

We are talking about an elite and new sport as much as we would like to see swimming in this year's Olympics. A new skill has come to the fore. It was, it's nominated by someone who doesn't have the skill. These are my favorites. But I love this cause he's sort of, he's a skill scout and he's bringing us some pretty top shelf skills here because he's at ANU, Australian national union, Canberra. Sharl, he's in the library.

Right now. He was. I'm painting the picture. Could be right now. Hopefully not. Hopefully there's not a lot of shushes on this phone call, but he, he became a, aware of someone who knew a colleague, right? Studying animals, I assume, who can identify any frog merely by their croak.

Oh, we'd love to see that. That's good. We would love to see that. We've got Sharl on the line now. He's the scout. Sharl, ahoy. Ahoy. Hello, boys. Great to have you with us, Sharl. Sharl, how'd you come about to know this person? What are you studying at the moment that you go, okay, that this frog guy, this frog expert or guy or girl is coming to your world? Okay. This is completely random and I think it was genuinely given to us by the gods of

special skills. Great. Because I study engineering, I have no relation to that sort of faculty whatsoever. I was just at the gym one morning and I was chatting to this postgraduate girl and we were just discussing weekend plans and she was saying, yeah, I'm going down to the coast to play Krog Frogss over a loud speaker. I was like, sorry, can you repeat that? So that's her field of study.

No, no, no, no, no. That's the elegant thing. She studies snow hydrology, which is completely different. This is one of, it's just helping a colleague out. And then they're playing the Krogfrogs and listening to the responses and just tallying how many there are in the area. Right. So you take a CD down or like a thumb drive. Yeah. You take a thumb drive with all the frog tracks on it and you go, okay, the marbled green back, that's this croak.

And it goes off and then they yell back, well only the frog that you call call back. Yeah, apparently so. I didn't know, but they're all unique. And when they count them like that. Yeah. I suppose it's just to see if there's one in the pond. Well, I mean, Charles is suggesting that they go, okay, we heard six. Is that how you heard it? I thought you were just like, let's play a hundred noises out here and just see if there's any evidence of that species in this pond. What was your take on it?

The way they made it sound, it did sound like quantity. So you knew, so the person you bumped into knows of this other person who was helping out a frog croak enthusiast who can pick all frogs by their croak. Yeah, that's exactly what she said. And I just took my ear immediately and I was like, has that skill been recognized? No, it hasn't. No, it hasn't. Not to our knowledge. And Shau, do you think you could get the details for us of this frog, not whisperer, but this frog listener.

Yes. Yeah. I could definitely do some more investigating. That would be very good. I'm not sure if you're familiar with what was one of, if not the very first ever special skill on the show, which was a woman that claimed she could call ducks to her. Yes, I do recall. So we've had a check in past with animal calls. This is different, but I hope that we can write that ledger, Ander. I don't know if we can correct that wrong. I'm a goat, so she's getting paid for this special skill.

Yeah, she's the year. I mean, how many frog species are there? For instance, like are we talking, did they mention that? Like, is there 50, is there 500? Like... I have absolutely no idea. Oh yeah, because you walk past the lady that was helping a friend. Like you're in a gym, the lady that was helping a friend. I'm just wondering if Charles asked a few questions in between sets and reps. Charles, we've established very quickly that you're a hero,

but we need to get closer to the people that know these things. We'll circle back to you and hopefully you can touch base with the lady. And you think it's a female that can identify any frog by croak? Yeah, absolutely. I can definitely get in contact. We're going to make this happen. Okay. Amazing.

Thanks very much. Thank you, mate. Bye. Amazing. Thanks very much, Jordan's buddy. Thank you, mate. See you. Bye, mate. Guys, I did something that I was really proud of. Very excited about. Oh, here we go. Set two clocks in the house to the second. At the same time. Did a countdown. No. You know, went off the internet, got Greenwich Mean Time,

and now they're perfectly in sync. Back to one clock, Andy's on the other clock. Three, two, one. No, back, you missed it. Go on the implied zero. I actually wouldn't trust Aaron. I held both hands. I have both hands.

And I hit it at the same time, just so you know, for the two ovens. No, in fact... You don't own those ovens anymore. That's the old house. No, no, that's the coastal property. Oh boy. Must be nice. Must be very nice stuff. Four ovens across two properties. More oven than house.

Like the witch out of Hansel and Gretel. Mostly oven. Hey, I actually texted you the thing that I did because you're a trusted friend knowing that you would be happy for me but you texted specifically back, gee I wouldn't be showing Zoe that, your partner. Yeah I know what this is. And I'm just worried that I... I hope you didn't show it to anyone that has just children at all. Well the person I want is this? The person who... Which is why we're talking about Hansel and Gretel.

I've got the oven up to 600 degrees. Well, I wanted to share it with Jack and then, but I thought, you know... No, no, no, no, mate. You tell Jack, he'll be... I was like, hey, I think I might have said, well, I was like, that's great. Like, you've done well. But just be careful with who you expect accolades from on this. I thought Jack the Petticoat is kids and does breakfast radio.

He'll like it, but he's not going to be as excited as you might think. Okay. I'm ready. Haim bought me this fandangled bed that measures your sleep, right? What does it measure? Well, it actually is- How long you you asleep? It's awesome. It's like the best present he's ever got me.

It sounds like we're doing an ad here. I'm not gonna mention the brand because it's not. No. But. It'll just quickly sound like a Herbman podcast. But it's a sleeve that goes over the mattress and it can heat and cool. Because Andy's a hot and cold sleeper.

Christian's got one of these as well. They're so expensive. Mate, there was a couple of years ago when it was a... Lovely gift. Very generous. And then what is it? It moves, it reads your body temperature and then drops the... Well, you can set it on the app.

You can be like, I want to sleep cold. You can split the bed too. So you can be like, the partner wants to sleep warmer, whatever. And it will like track. And then if you're too hot or too cold throughout the night, it will respond to your temperature. So it puts you into deeper sleeps and brings you out when you want. It also measures your heart rate and stuff too, so it can tell you how you slept last night. The only downfall for me is Bec refused to get the app.

So she'll wake me at three in the morning and goes, I want it a bit hotter, please. It does need a manual button. It does need a manual button. I does need a manual button. This has defeated the purpose. So anyway I've banned her from that, she's now got the app. Jack, I woke up. My report from the night's sleep. Time slept, nine hours and 39 minutes. Special. Quality, 100 percent. Didn't wake once. minutes. Special. Quality 100%. Didn't wake once. From 11.19pm to 9.01am. Rem sleep, that's the good fun dream stuff. Yep. Three hours flat. Over 130 is what you're aiming for. Big dreamer. Carly out there is just not having this. It's the one thing that we can't have. Deep sleep.

Two hours, three minutes. But Jack, this stuff, this breakdown is less mind blowing than one of the first stats, which is wake up time, Jack. Nine AM. I know, all of it. All of it is like... Nine AM. The middle of the day when you have children.

You're onto your third activity by then and probably your second meal. It's like you're reading a menu to somebody on a desert island and saying, these are all the delicious things you can't eat. Isn't this lovely? So I've woken up and gone, whoa, this is great. And I had my sister and my brother staying with us. So I've walked downstairs. My sister's got six months old. And I looked at her and I'm like, whoa, this is great. And I had my sister and my brother staying with us. So I've walked downstairs. My sister's got six months old.

And I looked at her and I'm like, ah, no way. Now I'm not going to run it by her. Hey guys. I walked past my brother who's got a toddler as well. And they've been doing a sleep with him because he's not sleeping that well. I'm like, I can't really celebrate there. And the other stat here was like, you know,

elbows, knees, and heels thrust into my body during the night. Zero. How's that? How exciting is that? And we don't have something that measures how good our sleep quality is, but I'm guessing I haven't had what you call 100% quality sleep, probably for five years since I started the breakfast radio show.

Yeah. And then you threw a young child into that. I can only imagine what that feels like and how you feel. 9am. My body wouldn't do it even if I... I reckon if you gave me a general anesthetic at 6am, I'd still wake up. My body cannot do it because of kids. I haven't slept past 8 o'clock, I don't think.

It can't be done. Before I was 30. Really? Yeah. It can't. Yeah, Hamish is right. It can't be done. I'm out 30. Really? Yeah. It can't, yeah. Hamish is right. It can't be done. I'm out there constantly. You're just walking around.

Don't send me them. If you ever see another great. This is what I mean. Like, yeah, it's like, mate, great. Good for you. Yeah. Yeah. But we just can't do that.

So, just strolling around going, so sorry. Yeah. It's like, it's like walking through the hall, through a hospital and just holding up your perfect ECG. Look at my heart. I don't seem to have any problems. Doctor said he's never seen such a low resting heart. Absolutely squeaky clean. Anyway, sorry to hear about you guys. Thanks for listening. The Hamish and Andy podcast will return next week. Catch up or

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