Hamish & Andy - 2024 Ep 270 - Have We Been Catfished?

Episode Date: September 18, 2024

We clear up some ConConConfusion with our good friends at the ATO. Hamish notices adults are celebrating Book Week now, while also encouraging Andy and Jack to check out his flattering mirror. Plus, a special skill involving flickin' the world's most finger lickin' chicken!  1. The ConCon mea culpa 2. Power Moves and book week musings 3. Chicken Flickin’ Good - Special skill 4. Hamish’s flattering mirror 

A listener production. Activate your internet. Because the Hey Mission and the podcast starts in 3, 2, Sorry, still buffering. One. Ahoy to me tabula, Hamish. Oh yeah, I could get behind that. I could tabulate some things.

Ahoy to me dry dock. Jack, you will never find me wet. Gross. That did not come out well, did it? Oh wow, unarousable. Are we places you put your boat? No. You don't want to put your boat in one of these.

I have a pinnacle. In fact, the biggest boat disaster of all time. Oh, are these icebergs? They are icebergs. We are type of icebergs. A dry dock iceberg. Yeah an iceberg with a U-shape slot near water level. At least it is a dry dock. Tabula ham. Flat topped iceberg with the width five times greater than its height. Very good.

We've had girthy slot. You will never find me wet. This is... Sorry this is not the start we wanted. Pinnacle is the last one. An iceberg with at least one main spiral or pyramid on it. So which one took down the Titanic, do you think? Ooh, I reckon a Pinnacle. Yeah, yep. It doesn't sound like a Fabula would have done it. We're more kind of, we're more polar bear stuff. Yeah, exactly.

We don't do boat gear. It doesn't feel like you're surprising anyone because you're so wide. Yes, although wide and flat, we can play tricks on people all night. Ahoy also to Latoya, who used the easy to use system at hamishandeddy.com to let us know what she's been up to.

Ahoy, boys, Latoya here. I've recently started reading books to my three month old, Edison, who we affectionately call Eddie as as part of our night time routine. And what better book to read him than The Power Moves Volume 2, Expensive Man Edition. That's right. I purchased the book at full price.

Must be nice. I actually feature in the book, but I must come clean. The Power Move submitted under my name was actually my husband's move. You snooze, you lose. Eddie will certainly snooze peacefully after filling his little brain with an abundance of power, which he can assert over his baby friends at our baby play group. We love listening to your pod. Keep up the great work. Go Eddie.

Fantastic. Yeah. I mean, you're going to be able to tell from a very early age that he's got social dominance in the playground. Absolutely. It's one of the most important texts you can read a child. It's still very available at Amys. Is it outrageously available? It's outrageously available because of Hogg's, you know, Hogg's went mad and did order way too many.

He bought all the books in the world. You know what he was thinking. Do you eventually pulp them? Is that what happens with books? Do they stay too long in storage? Well ours is too thick, it's too heavy. You go through and weigh them. Break a pulper.

And have that hanging over our head, having the pulper's family crying by the side of the grave going, why, why did Dad try and do this book? No Jack, you don't do that. You definitely don't do that. We're hanging out. I mean, you do keep your fingers crossed that you get the call from, you know, Novotel or Quest or one of the big hotel chains going, we're getting rid of the Bibles or an even more powerful book to replace it with. Would you have many thousands of copies?

I mean, we're heading that way. Recent census was no religion in this game. Don't 100 us. Don't 100 us. You'd leave that shit on the 100. Just offering... No, no, no. Is this off the 100?

Not off the 100. I was just offering to hotel owners out there. What are we going to say about the census? Give us a little bit of a stat. Most recent census, no religion was the most popular religion in Australia. And I would say the Alnoov's book is sort of the Bible of no religion. Exactly. That's why I'm just saying if there were any hoteliers out there that needed a replacement, I think that's a very good option.

Then we're looking at a ton of lawsuits for broken bedside tables. Of course, it is a heavy book. We would insist that it's placed on the ground next to the bed. And on lower levels only. Yeah. That kind of power up high in your hotel. Anyway, we can deal with all of that off here. Yeah, please get in contact with us and we'll happily give you some of the readily

available books. Um, outrageously available. The Haim ConCon. Great news. It's sold out and congratulations to all those that logged on. It's on it very quickly. Um, to come to Conference Conference, a conference for all, uh, where we will be teaching you something

about your business in an opportunity for you to fly up. Yeah, can I just say it was a beautiful for the economy, really, and then there's a link here. It inspired me for the state of Australia's economy that we have workers in this country who are so hungry to better themselves, professional front, that it sold out within one hour. There's obviously, people are starving to be better at their jobs, and that's just good news for Australia. I agree.

Hame, there has been a fair bit of clerical stuff happening this week, more admin than usual, and you've even been pulled into admin But Jacko we saved we've got a letter from a very interesting letterhead now I suppose in the for people that have been following the con con journey Receiving would you call it fan mail or more just a letter? I think this isn't I wouldn't Usually that's what you call correspondence to a show, but I agree, Andrew. Is it from the ATO? It is from the ATO. It is from the ATO.

Australian Tax Office themselves. Yes. Our good friends at the ATO. Can I say that? Very, very good friends. Love them. The good folk. The good folk at the ATO.

The acting deputy commissioner is actually, and it came in a lovely letterhead jacket with the Australian government embroidered on the top. And the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, Andy's decided he's going to be the one that sort of addresses this because tell him about your year 12 stuff. I won the prize for accounting in year 12. Okay. So we're sending Andy, Andy's our point man here because it's like, listen, we're all, I think we are all actually on the same page, the ATO, the Hamish and Andy show. We are all essentially want the same thing, which is A, as we mentioned, the country to get stronger through learning.

Yep. And B, everyone to do the right thing. That's the whole point of ConCon is to play by the rules. Yes. Of the, that the ATL has laid out. So we're all on the same team, but Andy speaks the language because he has accounting background. And appropriately tax deductible conference. That's what we're looking at. Um, mind you, Jack, during the week, I've had a number of conversations about the habush and I as things were flying back and forth from lawyers to ATO people, et cetera. But also very good nature too. And that's again, anyone that's been to relationship counseling will say, you keep the chat open.

You keep the chat open and it actually makes you a better couple. I think we're going to come out of the bank of this with the ATO or a stronger couple. Flying back and forth doesn't necessarily mean bad. That could be very exciting. It could be a compliment spiral. I'm not saying it was, but I'm saying that is an example of a conversation. You're right, Jack, that flies back and forth. You get into a bit of a compliment spiral. I wish at one point it rang me during the week and goes, anyway, you know, we're forging for the con con. I just thought it was a great idea of yours.

And I'm like, no. When things looked a little bit legal, I thought it'd be nice to get him on the record. Because don't you remember Jack Andy was like, I do remember that. I think it's a great idea. It's great. We're happy to play along with your idea, but you are the ringleader. And as I wrote in my journal that night, which I can show you and is dated, Andy came up with a good idea today.

I asked you on the phone, send me a picture of your journal immediately. And I tried. And as I said, my phone, unfortunately, was frozen at the time, but I was trying my hardest and I put it in the mail. Anyway, I remembered it differently. Anyway, let's start with a few things from the letter that I think are fair. I think are fair. First up, the phrase, the conference is so nice you can deduct it twice.

And there are some things you can back on And that is problematic for the ATO. That's, and you definitely understand, especially if they saw that written down and they didn't understand it was, that's more of a turn of phrase rather than financial advice, which we're not giving, we've never given, but we can't give. As we always say, please speak to your local tax professional, find them, talk to them, take them out for coffee, get to know each other. You must, you must, you must. You simply must.

And they're a great person to talk to. Yes. Whoever they are, get to know them, not ask for tax advice. So can we update that, Ham? I said to them... 100%. These are some of the Gives. Yeah.

No dramas. Because if that isn't bothering you, I can see why. As I, when I said to Zoe, oh, I think they have a problem with the jingle. She went, I can see why they would have a problem with the jingle. There's no such thing that you can deduct twice. It just had that feeling to me. I made the mistake of putting my feelings in a song about financial concepts. Yes.

So that's a good lesson for me. I have updated it because of course you can't deduct anything twice. That's one of their, you know, I was going to say one of their preferred, they'd prefer you not to, not just prefer, it's the law. Yeah. So anyway, here's the new jingle. There's a cool new conference no matter your beers. Come on, come on.

The conference so nice you can deduct it once at a maximum. Can't stress it enough. Perfect. And that's once at a maximum. Can't stress it enough. Perfect. And that's once at a maximum. At a maximum. Yes. Because of course there will be proportionate deductions. Get to that. They said in this is I'm trying to paraphrase because again,

the log... It's a big old document. But falsifying invoices from personal expenses is not allowed. We weren't encouraging that though. Well Jack, they go on to say... I think I might have, Jack. I think there was one I think I might have. This includes arranging a food truck to be available to attendees where food items purchased are recorded on receipts as office stationery.

So they have been listening. They have listened. Which is not, we appreciate all listeners. We do. It's not the bit that you could be confused with the compliments by rate. So what do we do about the food truck? Well we just have a food truck that's non-deductible and it just sells food. That's yeah, that's gonna have to come. Labelled as food. Yeah, that's just gonna have to be some personal human food. Traditional style Traditional style, non-deductible food.

Yeah. Um, and that's fine. That's fine. That's just going to be, you're just going to have to know that if you are an attendee at ConCon, yes, again, we got carried away. Um, someone sent in that idea that had been, that someone in America had done that, which is just, again, come on guys. That's not funny.

that someone in America had done that, which is just, again, come on guys, that's not funny. So American did that. And I think in jest, we floated the idea of doing that. But again, as we have learned, talking to our friends, you can float things. And from icebergs, you can sink things. I just think we're not going to have food trucks, are we? Yes. I think they said something about that. There's really no two ways about that one. That's just going to be fraud if you give out, sell a burrito and say it was Staples. We're like, yeah, fraud is actually one of the things we're

trying to avoid here. We're absolutely 100% against that. And there's plenty of food in the Gold Coast that people can eat. 100%. Heaps. Go off. And you'll be full from the biscuits. So it's kind of dumb. Sort of stupid that we were offering food in the first place.

Cause on the biscuit side of things, like, I don't want to set up a whole new avenues, but I'm saying from our perspective, Ando, if we do have to purchase a lot of biscuits to feed people at our conference on our side of the fence, is that an expense? Yeah, yeah, that's fine. You can deduct that once. That's what I thought. Because from my angle, there still will be tax deductible food just on our side of the fence, because we're providing discounts to people. I just would like to actually introduce the phrase now once you go through your tax return to go. Yep. I just would like to actually introduce the phrase now,

once you go through your tax return, and go, now, can I deduct that once? See how many times it takes until your accountant says, you don't need to keep saying once. Once is actually the maximum. We don't need to keep clarifying. Hey, this is the more... Well, we're not continuing.

This is the part that we just need to really reiterate, not to our listeners, but to the Australian Taxation Office. Yes, I hope they don't mind that we're not concerned. This is the part that we just need to really reiterate, not to our listeners, but to the Australian Taxation Office. Yes. I hope they don't mind that we're going back through the form of podcast rather than letter. That'd be fine. Great. I realise so much of this is us just assuming the mood of the Tax Office. The vibe seems high. It's in good spirits. No, it is in a great spirit. We do have stress that. The letter is in very, very good spirits.

Chummy. Not all professional, but there's a chummy undertone. Absolutely. There is significant risk of encouraging taxpayers to claim a tax deduction that they're not entitled to. This is because the dominant purpose of the conference seminar, of course, appears to be for non-work purposes, that is personal entertainment or leisure. False. False.

I am shocked. I am a little bit shocked at that because that sounds to me like they've gone, oh, you guys are just going to go and have fun and say it was a conference. No, no, that's not what we're doing. Can't be clear enough about this. The conference, the whole point that we've gone to this effort, Ando, the whole point of the conference is to give people not just an educational two sessions, well, three at the moment, three, possibly two, depending on what the vibe's like, but still two full sessions of education about your specific industry. And here's, I've come up with the theme for the, for the conference, right?

Cause people have to tell us exactly what their job is. And then we divvy it up between the three of us. We have to present, so we make sure everyone's job is covered. The theme is how to make your business better. With Hamish, Andy and Jack, we will make everyone's... We'll give you concrete ideas, no matter your industry, that you can take away, and we will improve your business. Now, looking at some of the entrants that have come in, we've got someone that's in

like hydraulic engineering. Jack, I know that's a passion of yours. We've got telecommunications. We've got, you know, just general leadership. I mean, everyone can use that. That's what the conference will be about. We will be working our backsides off to make this so educational. We're going to have educational content coming out our freaking ears.

That might be the biggest complaint. Too educational was the conference. Now, can I say this, Andy, and I'm just floating this with you now. You're the accountant. You tell me if I can say this or not. The ticket price that people have paid will cover the majority of that, I would like it to be known, is going into the conference. All of it.

All of it, right? So that's what you're paying for. You're paying for the conference. Now, there's no rule against enjoying yourself as you walk in. Like, there's no tax rule against enjoying a conference, is there? No, no, you can enjoy it. Yeah. Well, the tax can't go, did you, you know, oh, you're a doctor. You went to Hawaii and learn about x-rays. Yes, I did. Did you enjoy it?

I had fun. Oh, not a deduction. No, no. You can enjoy learning. Absolutely. I think you learn, but you actually learn better when you're enjoying yourself. Yes. And I agree, Jack. And now that doesn't mean it's more deductible.

In past episodes, I might have said there's a double deduction, but it's not. It's not that. But you can certainly enjoy yourself. Now, if we are saying, come and have some free enjoyment, but some conference that you've paid for, that seems like you've paid for a product. I hear what you're saying. Let's make it really clear. The conference and the educational parts, that's what everyone's paying for. Enjoyment's free.

It's a real legitimate conference. We're throwing enjoyment on the house. Yeah, you can't stop someone from just chucking in enjoyment on the house. And so we will work very hard to make sure that that is the case and tax deductible. What about this, Ando? Because we know that there's... What did they say about the proportion bit? They're like, you know, you've got to...

Yes, so tax deductions are proportional. We should make that very clear. Nothing's ever fully tax deductible. It's proportional. So it's basically educational versus leisure. So if someone goes up there and goes and plays golf, the leisure part's not tax deductible. If you don't attend the conference, you're in big trouble. You have to attend the conference.

But this is all the stuff then you take to your tax professional. We can't tell you what bit. You take all of the information provided and you give it to your tax professional. Now they're going to say, what was the conference like? And you're going to go, bloody educational. Actually went heaps about hydraulic engineering, et cetera. Then they'll go, Oh, hang on a sec. What about the welcome drinks on the Friday night? And this is what I was thinking, Ando. Be like, Oh, well, that was actually the rule that Hamish and Andy introduced,

where you had to meet 10 people and tell them something about your industry that they could apply to their industry. Yep. So it's actually a very educational welcome drinks. And registration was that day as well. So you wouldn't have been able to get into the conference. We have to, we had to go to that bit. Anyway, we're not making the call on it.

I'm saying this is all the information that you can give to your registered tax professional. They're in your, everyone's got one. Get to know them. Go for a walk with them. Meet them. Go and have a, have a simple bowl of gnocchi and float some of those ideas past them.

They've been trained in this stuff. Andy's just a year 12 accountant. He can't actually give financial advice. But I think we've addressed it. I think as they said, we're all on the same page here. We're trying to better Australia. Okay. We're trying to make Australia smarter, make them better at their jobs.

And I commend the people that stepped up, sold this out in one hour to go, yeah, this country's good, but could we know more? Nice. Well done, Hayne. Play the jingle again, Jack. Credit to your businesses. There's a cool new conference no matter your biz.

The conference so nice you can deduct it. Once at a maximum. Can't stress it enough. Very clear. We're learning. Hey, part of listening to this show is just knowing that you're becoming a superior being when it comes to social situations because this is where power moves live, this is where we consume them, and this is where power moves live. This is where we consume them.

And this is where we take them out to the world. When we've learned them, we should jump into another batch. I can't keep one off here. Yeah, go for it. From Josh. It feels like a power move. I'm going to tell you the scenario and then I want us to try and unpack it. Okay, great.

If you're in an event or party with your parents, introduce them as your biological parents. Now, is that on them? Who's the power move on? Well, that's what I'm trying to unpack. I guess it's kind of on the parents. Is it suggesting that they didn't bring him up? Yeah, well, it's sort of going, these are my biological parents. Yeah, which sort of, you know, you would be like, but I've got, I've got adoptive parents

who put all the work in. They'd be saying, they're going, yeah, but we also did that. So it'd be nice to get a bit of the credit. It does make the assumption that you've got other parents, does it? It does. It does. And in that case, usually with the adoptive parents, they're the ones that are like, well, we've done, you know, 18 years.

They're the ones that the kid sees as the parent. So yeah, it's a good little distancing power move. Nice work. This is from Lewis. How it was done to me by my best mate whenever I was out on the town. If I was talking to a girl, my best mate would come up and tell them, hey, fun fact, this guy has no underarm hair. I either denied this, making myself look desperate and a liar, or I'd have to lift up my shirt to prove to this girl that I did in fact have underarm hair and then I lost any chance going forward. What a fun fact.

This from Lachlan. Pam, Pam, we're for you all. In a group dress up situation. Great. Tell everybody in the costume it's a certain type of party, but then dress up as their leader. Yeah, that's not bad. So if it's a soldier's party, go as the Colonel. If it's an Oompa Loompas party, go as Willy Wonka. Really good.

You know, it reminds me, a couple of weeks ago, whenever Book Week was, which was some time ago now, but did you notice this year there was grownups dressing up for Book Week? I've never really seen adults do Book Week. Like I saw workplaces and stuff do Book Week. Shall I wait with the teachers? Teachers? No, no, no. The teachers. The radio station in Gold 104, the sales team dressed up on the Friday.

Is that just me or was that the first time it's happened this year? Right. Yeah. I was with a mate having breakfast. That's not great. Is it? We're not participating in that. Well, we were having breakfast, right?

We look over the road and like, we're just sort of in a suburban area. There's some office buildings around and it was like, you know, such and such like KLJ logistics or something, like a pretty nondescript building. And like 10 people come piling out of the building at like 10 o'clock in the morning, all dressed up in costumes. And then we're like, what's this? It's like a mad Monday or something. Like, what is going on here? And it was like, no, I think it's book week.

Like, but they're grownups and it's got nothing to do with their workplace, has nothing to do with children. I'm not saying books aren't fantastic at any age. No, we're not wearing Easter bonnet. We're not doing an Easter bonnet parade in the workplace. We get to wear casual clothes every day. I'm not bringing a gold coin every time I wear jeans. They came across the road. And we were like, so first of all, like, you know, guys, what is this like Like, yeah, it's book week. We thought we'd all dress up.

Like, okay. Fair enough. There's like a Thor or Wonder Woman and stuff, you know. But that's again, that's not books. They're loose interpretations, loose interpretation books. But then this was the bit I was going to, this relates to the power move. I was like, I wanted to ask a critical question because there was one guy, so they're all like having fun. You know, there's like 10 of them, like kind of vaguely superheroes.

There was a pippy long stocking. There was like a big bloke with pippy long stocking. Then there was a guy who's in one of those inflatable dinosaur outfits. Oh, yes. But it's not a cutout for the head. So you're not, it's, it's, you're inside the inflatable and you have to look through a plastic panel. Okay. the inflatable and you have to look through a plastic panel. And he was completely like completely cut off from the social interactions because he's in a little cage. He's in like he was like a little lizard in a terrarium like looking out at the cafe while everyone's having fun and having their coffee and he's just stuck behind this little perspex panel and he's holding a coffee with his little t-rex arms but he's got to wait till he goes back to the office to drink that.

Yes. And so that was like if this if the costumes have been assigned that is a huge power move on like on Damien or whoever it is and I said it's like did you guys get to pick your outfits or were they given out because the look on his face said maybe given out, but they said they picked. Well, the look on his face. Which leads me to believe that maybe the look on Damien's face was like, I've made a huge mistake. They put myself in a hazmat bubble and everyone, this is a bit of an interactive one. We've actually, we actually did it earlier. Joe came from Adelaide. Yeah. As you're about

to hear, it required space and yet required a young man to come very early. Cheapest, cheapest, absolute cheapest available thing. It might have even been an unbranded cargo flight from Adelaide. You might not know this, Sam, but when he got to the airport, Carly's having a little nod, his ticket didn't exist, so he paid for his own flight on the day and we have to reimburse it. It's a new low for the show. An absolute new low for a prize winner on the show. Yes. However- We're grateful for Joe.

Joe came across, he made it. But look, most of the best golfers in the world have to get themselves to the tournament. Exactly what I was thinking. The same with tennis players, they have to get themselves to the tournament. It's not included. It's not included. You don't go, hey, we'd love you to play in the Australian Open, please fund and close two business class tickets.

Absolutely not. Get yourself there. Maybe we don't reimburse him. We do, we do reimburse him. I think we're making an argument here for the no reimburse. So Joe, you're listening and wondering where that money was. It was decided after you left the building that we wouldn't be reimbursing.

But he said, this is a great skill. A long time KFC employee, he said quite simply, using tongs, and he bought his own, using tongs, I can throw drumstick portions of KFC into the large bins they have back of house at KFC. With tongs made it was, I think that was going to be the hard part. So we'll get into it in more detail. That was the loose bit. Of course, we need an opener for every, every special skill I was happy to take the reins on this one

and lay this down to see you know all about Joe. It's good. It's actually really good. Well, you surprised it. You just looked surprised there when you heard that. Why? Because Marshy had some work to do to form that into a song. He has absolutely behaved with honor there. He's done a great job. This is how the special skill wet down. This is exciting. Joe, welcome. Ahoy. We'll state it again.

Joe wrote in, using tongs, I can throw chicken drumsticks into bins from a reasonable distance. Any reasonable distance, sorry. I've worked at KFC for five years and I'm yet to miss. Yet to miss is huge. Are you sure? Because we do have people come on and then they go, actually, maybe I was just remembering the good times, but you're yet to miss.

Yet to miss with drumsticks. Other pieces might go haywire, chips might go on the floor, but drumsticks are always the perfect reference. So it's like the uniform weight of the drumstick. Yeah, yeah. Can I just ask this someone that hasn't worked back of house at KFC myself, why are you chucking the chicken in bins so often?

Well, being a shift supervisor, we do some closes and it gets to 12 o'clock and you throw on the chicken out that you didn't sell. Gotcha. And you just chuck it straight out? Yeah, that's right. On my Maccas days, there was also a certain amount of time that was allowed to sit in the Bay Marie kind of thing. Yeah, that's a good point.

I would point out we're talking very, very early 2000s, if not late 90s here. No, late 90s., so times have changed. You know, but that's still the same. So you still throw out chicken if it's sitting there for too long. My wife throws it out after five seconds in the house. So I'm surprised she's about to eat any chicken, because like before it's cooked, it's like, is that getting spoiled? And then after it's cooked, get rid of it.

Like, so it's a scary meat. Then you do have to be careful. But it gets boring just picking the tray up and throwing it all out at one go. So me and the friends, we just started tossing it and just started going in. Now you did a bit of a mime there and it was almost an overhand toss. Yeah, that's right.

I would have assumed it's underarm. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's overhand. Wow. This is why we do this. This is why you get people in. That's part of the sport.

Yeah, it's part of the sport. And by the way, are the tongs OK? Yeah, the tongs are regulation. So these are official pay-per-seed tongs. Did we give you those or did you bring them in? Yeah, part of the sport. And by the way, are the tongs okay? Yeah, the tongs are regulation. So these are official KFC tongs. Did we give you those or did you bring them in? No, I brought them in. Good. Still had a special pair.

Great, like an archer with his own bow and arrows. Yeah. Alright, we've set up three different distances here. We said any reasonable distance. That word reasonable, if we're in a court of law, is the key part here. That's why I put it in there. Yes. Because obviously you're never going to need,

there's no KFC kitchen that's 50 metres wide, you don't need to do giant throws. There's three bins, each with increasing difficulty. Bins you put leaves in in the garden, would you say, Ham? Yeah, I think they're from Bunnings. Are they 56? Six litres. I have 56 litres, that seems way too,

I reckon I'd put that at like 90 litres. Yeah, I would say so. So bin number three, I reckon I'd put that at like 90 litres. Yeah I would say so. So bit number three, is that gettable? We feel that's reasonable. Yeah I got that, I got that in me. Wow! Because Andy, before you came in we were setting up and he's like, no no no, like he's gonna crack at that. That doesn't seem reasonable to me, but you think that's reasonable?

Yeah, I think I got that distance last night with a smaller bin. So I don't want to talk too big of a game, but I think I'll be alright. Did you go to KFC to practice? Or did you buy chicken and throw it away? I bought some chicken, just started slinging it at home. It was a rainy day last night, so it's just under the floor. Wait, who do you live with? My parents, they actually weren't too happy.

They said, you've got to go outside in the rain. Were you hoping to do it inside? Yeah, but the kitchen's just been redone. So, not allowed. This is the origin story of all great heroes. This is the stuff that we don't see. Yeah. The training in the rain.

You know, the relentless pursuit of excellence. And when they eventually do the commercial for it, where we look back at a young Joe, we'll see this. Yeah. And you'll just be going, I'll say, I told you. Under the porch with the rain very down. Yeah, I wasn't thinking about gold medals at the International Chicken Throwing Championships. I was just doing what I loved. I was doing what I loved and it led me here. Okay, so if you're fine with the one that is like six and a half metres away.

I'm okay with that. Then you're going to be fine with the one that's three and a half and then we've got one in the middle that's around four and a half. Yeah. What we want to see is two out of three. Yeah. You can go in any order you want. Two out of three, you get a coin. Hamish and I will be in the commentary position over there. It's an interesting one, isn't it? Two out of three, because you do say I'm yet to miss and I don't think three is an eight coin coin.

Here's how I see it. I think two out of three, you've got coin coin. Here's how I see it. I think two out of three you've got a coin. But I expect three out of three. Three out of three you've got a coin with honour. Two out of three you've got yourself a coin. And I will respect it. Here we go. We'll get into commentary position.

Andy and I have seated ourselves between the furthest two bins. So we now having a bit of an arena situation where we're facing Joe. Joe has a box full of how many drumsticks would you say are in there, Joe? Be about 16 chickens in there. Yeah. We obviously wanted to give you an array of ones to choose from. They're all drumsticks.

It's important. We had to take the breasts and the other pieces out, the thigh pieces out. All right, in your own time, but hopefully pretty soon. Joe, are you a lefty? Yeah, I'm a lefty. He's a Molly Dooker. And I don't know why that, I mean, sure,

but you should do it with your favourite arm. Makes it look even crazier. Okay, Joe is reaching. And you want a good looking drumstick as well. Up to you. Well, up to you. It's about the reaching... And you want a good looking drumstick as well. Up to you. Well, up to you. It's about the weight he's looking, it's pouring through the bucket now.

Just good tongs work, isn't it? He's been around chicken. I notice you're using the top, you often, you go for the right down the bottom of the drumstick. Okay, now you're holding in the meaty bit. Now he's gone back down. He's overthinking it.

Made his heart. It could stick, it could stick at any point. He's putting in. So he's going around. The conventional grip you would expect, which is gripping the bone part. Almost hammer throw-like, where he's got the bottom,

but the balls at the top. He's just making sure it's loaded. He's got a side-on stance. He's just lowering his heart rate now. He raises. Woo hoo! It's way deep. You just have to find me to over the top of the hair.

Now you obviously put that down to excitement. Jeez. Ah. Dude. Ah. Ah. You put that down. What do you put that down to, J?

Adrenaline? To be honest, he's a little bit too close. It's too close. It's too close. It's too close. It's just exciting. Do you not shoot him that close? That would have been regulation distance for KFC, but in practice I thought, gee, I think

they're going to make me throw it a farthest. Yeah, yeah. We'll have to see. Add him in. Add him in. Add him in. Good range finding. You know the way to the chicken now. He's picking another piece, I'm not confident.

I am Joe, I am. I think you've found the range now. Can he hear us? Yeah, just whispering. He can hear us. We're in a completely quiet room so he can hear you. He can hear the commentators. He's now shaking a little bit now.

Here we go. Use a raised arm. Godfors arm. Golf. No. He has sailed a little deep again and a little right. Oh no. So now we're in an interesting impasse. How dangerous was it?

What time did you get up this morning to fly to Sydney? It was about 5.30. I didn't sleep on the flight. So now, now, look the arc, the arc you're getting is beautiful. It's okay. The arc you're getting is beautiful. Would you like to go back to number one to find your rhythm and get confidence? Or would you like to do number three now, by far the furthest away.

I think it's almost seven metres. And in one fell swoop you'd be like, okay, I got one and I finished on a high because I got the hardest one. It was a lot of respect. Oh, I'll go to the big one. He's going to the big one. Chicken foul. One foul.

Okay, Joe, now just to not be the Simpsons guy. I'm going to be thinking to myself, okay, this is not where I wanted to end up. It's where I am. Oh! It ripped out. It's where I am. Woo hoo! Oh! It ripped out! It ripped out! I loved a lot of things about the throw.

Wasn't it exceptional? The speed at which you got in. He didn't look at us. Yep. He settled himself, turned through. Through. That is obviously his method. Would you like to have one more go at that,

just for Chits and Giggles? We've got a lot of chicken. That felt good. I was back at KFC and I was throwing stuff out and it just felt alright. Because it's like, you know, we have a limit of course on how much golf content we put in the show but if you're over the ball for too long, that's a night. It's not where you want to be. You're thinking about everything.

So just getting back into that. Have fun with it. Have fun with it. Get back into that fluid. Having fun. End of the shift. Going home. Going to sneak into that fluid. Having fun. End of the shift. Going home. Gonna sneak into the house.

Not make up. Mum and Dad. Play some PS4. Great night ahead. Oh. Nah, he's over thought it again. Send me home. Send me home.

It actually resembled the flight of a chicken. They kind of get off the ground and then they die pretty quickly. That was just too much overthinking there wasn't at the end. Yeah. We wanted you to have fun with it and it just... That didn't look like any fun. Nah. Were you... sorry, I should check. Were you having fun?

A little bit. First time I threw that one I thought I've got it here. Yeah, yeah, that's a bit of fun. But I saw you do a couple of fake outs and then like, what was going through your mind there? I just figured that's not how I would throw it. Yeah, and you just and then I just Don't want to do this and I just I'll do this just so we can get an idea Oh great, I'm just show us how easy or hard it is the comparison

They're lighter than you think hard, mate Yeah Now we're just throwing chicken around the back. Off the wall. That's awful weird. No, it's hard. It's hard. It's hard, Andrew.

Joe, we'll give you a token of no value. Oh, it's more than I deserve. No, look, I think you did, you still acted with honour and I just liked the way you did gather yourself for that final shot. And it did have, it had, like speaking of the Olympics, it really had the air pistol stance to it, didn't it? That slide-on. That slide-on. Maybe you need one of the little glasses

with the paint on it. J, thanks for making time, buddy. You're welcome. Thanks for coming across the country to nearly get some chicken in a bin. Whoo-hoo! Guys, I know we're in a bit of a holding pattern on this, but there's something I'm, I fear will be a Peter out, but I'm passionate about trying to keep it in the show. And that's of course our two and a half second undressing man.

Oh, have we ever fanned something as like with the embers going out on this one? We're doing our job. We're doing our job. We're doing our job. To fan this, to bring this back to life. We want this so much more than he seems to want to. Well, I also think this is what is the perplexing thing about this case is we've given it, we've allowed it. We actually, with our blessing, we let it peter out and it roared back.

Yes. I feel like we keep sort of saying, okay, that's, that's, maybe it's just not meant to be. Because it occurred to me and Andy this morning, Jacko, we've never talked to the guy. We've talked to Angie, his girlfriend. I talked to his girlfriend. Yes. So two days ago, Jack, we asked for a proof of life from... Because we're not even, it's like, we're not really being catfished because nothing's happened yet.

It's not like we all sent pictures of us naked and then we're like, all right, hang on a sec, nothing's going back. But we're like, is this- What if they'd asked for that? It's the kind of thing we would have fallen for, I think, due to the excitement. For him to feel comfortable taking off all his clothes in front of you, can you please just send through you guys? No, and then we find out it's just some other podcast that's just having a ball going, we've been scamming Hamish and Andy for months.

It seems legit, like Angie keeps coming back and she's the girlfriend and she keeps going, no, no, no, it's all good. He's just been away. Like he was sick, he was away. Yeah, then he lost confidence. But could he Did you, did he do the proof of life? No. No. So two days ago, Jack, we said, can you just send through a one sentence voice memo? That's all we need. Just proof of life. I exist and I can do it. I exist and I can do it. That's all we wanted to know. Yeah. Just, just something from Liam. She wrote back, ha ha ha. Do you think I've made him up? Starting to. And then it's gone silent.

Now that isn't so strange because if she had made him up, it is easy enough to get some guy to go, hi, I'm Liam and I'm the guy. That's true because in all the catfishing documentaries we've all watched, they go to great lengths to kind of like, this would be an easy trick to play. Just get your brother to do it or something. So the fact that she hasn't done it, the fact that it's like, ha ha, no, no, no, it's all good. Now I'm back going, he does exist. He just is. There's just a nervousness to it. Look, we're running out of year. The runway is shrinking.

Do I think he'll come on stage and get nude at ConCon? Probably not. Even though that would be an amazing highlight and an amazing climax to the conference. I'd look that way. What if we blindfolded him? Or, and it was an honest decision. He's done it. Or, because it was Andy that he chose last week, wasn't it? That he was safest to do it in front of Andy. Even on stage at Kong Kong, we could have Andy and Liam behind a curtain. And Andy's got a microphone saying, what I'm witnessing is incredible.

I wish you could see it, but it is happening. Just as far as conferences go, do they, you know, like, I'm not sure if I've been to one where they just stop for a bit of light entertainment or to see someone do a magic trick or a feat. Oh, they do it all the time. You gotta keep the vibe up at a conference. Yeah, absolutely. Yep.

Um, well, that is an option. I wasn't actually thinking we get him at ConCon. Something occurred to me the other day. I was hopping out of the shower and I was like, that is an option. I wasn't actually thinking we get him at Con Con. Something occurred to me the other day. I was hopping out of the shower and I was like, oh, I'm kicking myself. I didn't think of this earlier. You guys came over for dinner a little while ago and I actually meant to bring this up at the time.

In my bathroom at home, there's a skylight that kind of goes into a tunnel. But, you know, so like, the light's quite way above the ceiling or whatever. So it sort of goes skylight, tunnel tunnel and then the light comes into the bathroom yep something about that lighting if i may be honest here makes the human form look incredible in the mirror really it's the most flattering lighting somehow in the world i think it's like it's natural it's down lighting it kind of creates this spotlight you get all these contours in areas.

You get a shadow underneath the areas to make it look bulkier. And as a pale guy with, you know, struggles to have any definition, you go, oh my God, the shadows, it's incredible. Like you look, I'm going to say 10 to 20% more jacked than in any other scenario, right? So it's a huge confidence booster. I was actually going to offer to you guys, I was like, look, not for the podcast, not to be recorded, but would you guys like to come over to my house early

and look at yourselves in the mirror? I would have loved that. Jack, I know you, you know, if you sent that photo to Frank, he'd be like, whoa, baby boy, look at what I've done. Who's Frank? Frank's my personal trainer. Oh, sorry, the personal trainer.

Not Stallone. Why are we sending photos to a guy called Frank? Personal trainer. We always do, mate. You go home early, but me and Jake are always sending photos to Frank. Yeah. Anyway, so I'm kicking myself. So you're thinking he could go in there and...

That's what I'm thinking. The thought occurred to me, I was like, look, this mirror can make anyone feel good about their body. Like it just is a huge confidence booster. But he doesn't do the act in there. That's what I'm thinking. The thought occurred to me, I was like, look, this mirror can make anyone feel good about their body. Like it just is a huge confidence booster. He doesn't do the act in there. He might. That's what I'm saying.

He needs a bed to- He needs a bed to lie back on. Can you fit a bed in there? All right, what about this? He comes over to our house. You're in there with him, Andy. Like if he still wants me banned for whatever reason, I'll go and wait in the corridor.

He can get naked first, I suppose, and go and look at himself in the mirror as a pump up. Yep. So he feels great about himself. That's a good idea. Then he re-clothes, comes back out to the bedroom, does it on our bed. We'll have to run past, though, that we're going to have a nude man on our bed. Not what I had anticipated. But the power of this mirror. I want to get you guys back over to have a quick look at yourselves in it. Happily. And Liam, if you exist or if you're listening, that's the offer.

That's the offer. Come to my house, use the power of the mirror. You might, and it might completely change his comforts. He might go, okay, you all three of you can have a look at me, do this. If that's what I'm working with now. Thanks for listening. You all three of you can have a look at me do this. If that's what I'm working with now. Like it.