Hamish & Andy - 2025 Ep 285 - Hamish’s inadvisable medical manoeuvre

Episode Date: April 2, 2025

‘Tell Us Someone’ is back, and it should be easy this early in the year…We’ve got a disappointing update on our ‘Up There Cazaly’ quest, plus a medical manoeuvre from Hamish that we absolutely DO NOT recommend you try at home! Luckily Jack has been too busy playing golf this week to see the backlash from his golf buggy win…!! 1 – Tell Us Someone2 – Up There Cazaly Outcome 3 – Hamish’s inadvisable medical manoeuvre 4 – Golf Buggy feedback: the people are disappointed

A listener production. Activate your Internet because the Hey Mission and the podcast starts in three. Two. Sorry, still buffering. One. Ahoy to me knuckles. Hey, I hope we're Sonic's mates to be honest. Could be Knuckles and Tails.

Have I got it? He's got it straight off the bat. Wow. Yes. Ahoy to Tails over there, Jack. I'll be Sonic today. Yes. Who's Knuckles?

I remember Tails was like a fox. Yeah, Knuckles is just the other one. A kidna? Oh no, yeah Knuckles was I remember Tails was like a fox. Red? Yeah Knuckles is just the other one. A kidna? Oh no yeah Knuckles was a bit of a baddie. Yeah a kidna. Come's good in the end. That's Sonic's secondary best friend. And former rival is Knuckles.

Former rival comes good. And Tails obviously a two-tailed fox cub. Sonic's best friend and sidekick. Bit of a cheat there for me. I, you know, having a 10 year old boy, I've got the edge. I've got access to probably more of the Sonic universe than you would have need to be. You might be going into that with Gordy. No, not Sonic.

Yeah. Do you have to watch the new movies? Because Sonic has movies now, doesn't he? You have to. You do have to. Yeah, there's many of them. There's many of them. And most of the time, yeah, Jim Car Yes, you have to. You do have to. There's many of them. There's many of them. And most of the time, Jim Carrey is, he's odd, he's Eggman. And he's the villain.

And most of the time I watch Jim Carrey in it, who's got to be in his mid to late 50s. And I just am so impressed at the energy. I just go, oh my God, just your day. I just know what it would take to get in the bloody, get in the bull cap. Yeah, he's got a silly mustache. Just so you remember, whenever you wear a fake mustache, the glue they use. I'm sure it's the best of the best. It's Hollywood. Just a long day. Oh, you did the Grinch. Imagine getting into one mustache.

Have you heard this fact before that he quit the Grinch after one day, Jim Carrey? He was like, I can't do it, I can't do the makeup. Like it was eight hours to become The Grinch before you could even start acting. And Ron Howard, I think, who's the director, got someone from the CIA who trains their operatives in like how to go through like interrogation and torture tactics, just how to calm his mind for eight hours and not let it get to him, so he could withstand getting put in makeup.

Oh, I thought you were gonna say the CIA trained to make the people doing the makeup go even faster. I thought they were gonna say the CIA bullied him into doing it. Threatened his life. Threatened his life or something. The CIA said, we're gonna send you to Russia with a bunch of spy equipment on you,

and unless you do it, you won't be going back. Because the CIA is well known for loving, making sure the Christmas blockbusters get made. Ahoy also to Alex, see you with habishname.com, uploaded what he's been up to. Ahoy boys, this is a spotted in the wild anecdote. So I was lining up to board the plane

from Gold Coast to Sydney after Christmas and I saw none other than Jack Post with his family. I then called out and asked for a bower of gold coin. But in good nature, he came up to me and told me to look through his Instagram story to show that he had just had a car incident on the way to the airport. So he used this as an excuse,

as he said he was too tired. Well done wheezing your way out of that one Jack. Hope you had a cracker man there to break the law. Yeah that did happen. Too tired to bow? Yeah I just wasn't in the mood. Oh my god Jack. Did you have a crash in the car? No it wasn't a crash.

This was the petrol wasn't it? The petrol. I had my whole, Bianca's whole extended family in the car, Keds seats and everything, rushing back to the airport. The last thing you got to do is fill the hire car back up with petrol and I put unleaded in a diesel car and I didn't realise until it was full to the brim. And so it wouldn't start? Well, you're not allowed to drive it. You can't turn it over.

When I Googled it, it said whatever you do, do not even turn the engine on. Really? If you turn it over, then it's like 15 grand for a new engine. Oh, because they're sucking it out. Did you think about it? You're so close. I'm sweet-soked. We're three minutes from the airport.

Are you thinking like there's a bit of diesel in there? I would have thought the same. Is that getting fed in first? It's like a Coke spider. I won't touch the ice cream, but if the car just drinks the Coke from the bottom. Yeah, if I don't slosh around too much turning corners, it shouldn't mix together.

Oh, yeah, that's the arc of the story. By the time we got to the airport, like we're at full speed trying to get bags in, and then also I had the golf clubs, so I was causing even more chaos trying to go to oversized baggage when everyone else was done. And it was, it was just, we just made it. And then that guy, Alex, I do remember him. And I said, not, no, not today, mate. I mean, I was definitely sympathised with the story. Was it a Hertz car? Wouldn't have

been a Hertz car. It was not a Hertz car. And that was the biggest mistake. Me and the gang would have looked at me. I couldn't call me if it was and I would have sort of drowned. But the effort of walking over to him and telling him this whole story and going through your Instagram, I mean, just bend over mate. Yeah, exactly. You have to pick up the golf clubs anyway. It was more like an in the mood. I wasn't in the mood for a bow. I wasn't in the mood.

Fair enough. Fair enough. You never rejected a bow based on mood. I gave a very, very high altitude bow from a water park on the weekend. Just not to blow my own horn about how many bows I'm doing. Yeah. And I mean, I climbed all the way up to the top of the, this, you know, play area at a water park.

Someone yelled from the bottom, bow. Yeah. Planted over the side of the rift. That's a complete a water park. Someone yelled from the bottom, bow. Yeah. That's a complete water park is high mood. But I'm very exhausted. Environment. No, no, no. That's a V. Your mood would be well up at a water park. That's something.

Maybe you're exhausted because there's a lot of hills because all the slides of gravity fence have to do with the environment. We better keep reporting Jack's mood to us. Love spotted in the wilds. We love it. Haim, lots of people have been asking to play this because they know they have an advantage early in the year. It's the game to play.

It is the game to play and you know, you marches your Aprils. Tell us someone we haven't thought of for a while. Of course, it can't be someone we've thought of this year. You, Haim and I, when someone yells out a celebrity's name, we have to prove generally just by telling an anecdote, an honest system that we have thought of them. Company sent in hats. Company sent in hats, Ando, with the hope that their hat will be reflected in a positive light.

And then if you can name a celebrity we haven't thought of this year, you will win, you get a selection of the hats. Obviously if you're upfront, you have the advantage of getting first pick of the hats. We have a special guest hat today. Yes. I won't, I'll probably save it to the end. And I just want to flag up front that I'll be showing no favor nor no malice to any, there'll just be, these are fair representations of the hats. There are three hats. The special guest hat is at the end. First hat, Aston legal group. Yeah. Well, I said no Malice. I might have to, so sue me Aston legal group. No, don't.

Because I'm sure that's what you do very well or defend those being sued. I'm not sure which side of the coin, you probably accept both sides of the coin. I don't know what they're doing. Look, I'm sure you're bloody good at the law. The hat, I mean, it's straight to the point. The Aston is a yellow, the legal group is a white. So minimum points there, some points for branding, like at least it's not all just one color. It's a very straightforward font, wouldn't you say?

Yeah, very, very, very, that's just, that's, that was the first font that came through and they ticked it off. It's just a black hat. I mean, you just can't really get too hyped up about this hat. You're pointing to the buckle there. And I see it in the back. Buckles. Buckles. I have an issue with because I think they think they're better than they are. You know what I mean? The buckle hats, you see them on like a rod and gun cap or whatever. And they go look. It's like a sailor's cut hat. It just has an air.

It just has an air of going, oh, you know the thing that's normally on your pants? We're putting them on hats now. And I go, you don't need them because we already had, we had the plastic, we've got the Velcro, we just don't need the buckle up there. Not fooling anyone. It's just a black hat. And harness too.

And I agree. It looks shallow. Yeah, Jack. And that's the thing. It's like for all the fanciness, you hurt your nail getting under the buckle. Yes. Second one hand.

Yolk sunscreen. Yep. What colour is that, do you reckon, Jack? A lavender? That is a dusky, like a musky, dirty musky lavender. It's a full corduroy. Again, no malice. Dirty musky lavender.

Yeah. It's full corduroy. I'm just trying to think of adjectives. I mean, full corduroy. And again, look, I'm going to say something that's a bit of a generalisation here. I think you've got to be under 27 to wear that hat. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Like it would go perfectly if you had a thin mustache and the kind of the, you know, the Mohawk mullet kind of feel, power fade. Yep. That's who needs to be wearing this hat. Or if you just like a cool surfer girl. Yep. Yep.

They could do it. They've got to go with a buckle though, which surprised me for a surfing. Okay. Maybe it's like an ironic form. Or a formal hat. Yeah, maybe it is, Jack. Maybe if you're 27 or under, you get the gag. I'm not familiar with Yoke SBA.

I assume they have passed all the required laws to protect the other skin. That should be how to say that. And they do a good job. But you know, corduroy, you give them props for an interesting material. And to the right you know, corduroy, you give them props for an interesting material. And to the right person, a corduroy hat's something that would work. But again, I feel you've got to be a bit younger to wear a corduroy hat.

You would say expense, expensive though. Not scared to throw money at a hat, the solution. And when you're an SPF company, that's nice to know. Yep. And our special guest hat. Dimmies and Tinn know. Yep. Yep. And our special guest, Dimmies and Tinnies. Yes. Dimmies and Tinnies, the Dimsim company that Andy, full disclaimer, has a financial interest in.

Must be nice. Along with his brother-in-law's roof rack company. Must be very nice. Along with a pub in New York City. Must be nice. Is nice. Someone that has the same. And Demis and Hinnies. They make great Dim Sims.

They're available. Aren't you available in Coles? Yes. Proper Dim Sim company. Five years ago, we thought, wouldn't it be funny to make a premium Dim Sim, top shelf Dim Sim, a Dim Sim where you know what's in it. And they are actually now available in Coles. D&Ts, Dimmies. So if you want to go there, obviously it'd be on the top shelf.

Yeah. Well, actually hopefully to the middle it'd be better. D&Ts, is that what it's called? D&Ts. D&Ts. And that's why you didn't do Dimmies and beers. No, no. Tinny, can you have a soft drink as a Tinny?

Yeah, no, I'm just saying that otherwise it'd be D&B, Tinny, D&B, Dimmies. And you'd be like, oh, what's in it? Dimmies. Yeah, that's a good point. I was just saying that's why D&B, D&Bs. And you'd be like, oh, what's in it? D&T's. D&T's are much better. Much better than D&B's. So D&Bs and D&Bs. And here is where I'm...

Exclusive to Coles, by the way. Yep. No, we've heard the ad. But you bought a hat, so you do get some promotion. Yes. You're allowed that in this segment. Here's the thing. As I said, so you do get some promotion. Yes. You're allowed that on. And the hat is good. Here's the thing, as I said, no favor, no malice.

It's the best hat. It is. The hat is good. It's easily the best hat. It's you got a cream. I don't think it's white. I think it's slightly off white. And you've got a dark navy brim. You got the nice dimmies and tinnies logo right up the front. Snapback. Snapback. It's not showing off with a buckle.

It does. It's got a off with a buckle. It does, it's got a good depth to it. You're wearing it. So it comes with a celebrity endorsement in that regard. And I think it would be absolutely, I'd be bewildered if anyone doesn't go that first. However, people have the choice. People have the choice. We've got Aston Legal, maybe you're a big legal fan. Aston Legal Group, you've got Yoke SPF, you've got Dimmies and Timmies on Ando's head. Do they get a fresh one or do they get that one? I couldn't find another one. They get this one. They get the one off your head.

Yes. Huge. Well, that's a matter. It could be worse. We'll look into that. Let's jump into it. It's been a while since I've thought About Tim Cahill. Oh yeah. Yeah. And it's been a while since I've seen them. Jack, you clearly have thought about Tim.

I heard Tim Cahill mentioned and I'm trying to remember the context. Tim or Tim? No, Tim, Tim. Yep, okay. This year? This year. Where was he? He was out like- He was at the Grand Prix.

He was at the Grand Prix. Oh, that's why I saw him and went, I hadn't thought about him for a while. Okay. Well, don't pick someone that's been publicized at the Grand Prix. I mean, they had a heavily attended sports event. That's true. But that was what came to mind when someone said,

the open is starting, we've got to think of something. You're meant to think of people you don't think of, but- No, no, it's hard because how do you know what you don't know? All right. Well, that's just a great example of as a general rule, don't give us someone that was at the gromp. Sarah joins us. Ahoy to you, Sarah. Hey guys, how are you?

Great, Sarah. Okay. You ready for this? Who have we not thought of in a while? Guys, I was watching Love is Blind recently and someone on there just reminded me and I couldn't work out who it was and it came to me, the one and only Fabio. Oh, unfortunately I have thought of him. Oh, I suppose it's the amount of times Andy has looked at the poster on the inside of

his wardrobe, the amount of times he has thought of Fabio. No, it was because we were leaving the Palais Theatre in Melbourne as the roller coaster was going around Luna Park and seagulls came flying very close to the roller coaster and Bec said to me, oh my gosh, the roller coaster nearly hit those block of seagulls and Fabio, the most beautiful man in the world, male model at the time, was getting filmed on a rollercoaster. A seagull hit him in the face and broke his nose. Really?

Unbelievable accident. Have you seen the footage, Jack? No, is that recent? Yeah, it's phenomenal. No, no, it was about 15 years ago. It was phenomenal at the time. Yeah. Wow. Does this count? I've just realised I have been thinking of Fabio, but I haven't known I was thinking of Fabio. Because there's a guy at the gym I go to and I've been going, who is, does that guy remind me of? You know, quite long flowing, beautiful blonde hair. It's Fabio. Well, so I have been-

Glad I had my one to like prove to Sarah. No, that would have been probably a green light to a hat, but annoying for me because if I'd just done my work a bit more, I would have thought of W. Sorry, Sarah. Ahoy to you, Liam. Ahoy boys and a quick happy birthday to the Weaver. Ah, don't actually celebrate them. Good work, Liam.

Please keep the Weaver up. It's because I weave in and out of traffic during a hockey match, is it? It sure is, Sigourney. Liam, tell us someone we haven't thought of in a while. Look, I'm going to go with singer and former American Idol judge Paula Abdul. Oh, pretty good. Pretty good. I think what you're thinking, if you think you've thought of a Rando, you haven't.

It's just that you see so many clips of Idol and talent got, you know, America's got talent, UK has got talent, whatever, floating around on social media. We think- I don't think I've seen it. I wouldn't have thought of her. Jack? No, no. Liam, you've got yourself a hat, my friend.

Well done, Liam. How are you going to go with Aston Legal, the Yoke SPF? How old are you by the way? Look, I'm 29, so I'm a little bit old for the core drawing. No, no, it's fringe. It's fringe. I was going to say 27, 230, depending on how well you're transitioning out of your 20s. But if you've still got a real young vibe, I think you could get away with the corduroy

hat. Yeah. Or Demis and Tinnies. Look, I've got to take the one off Andy's head. Yeah, do it. I'll remove it now. Reveal him to the sun. Very good.

Well done. Thank you. Yeah, do it. I'll remove it. Reveal him to the sun. Very good. Thank you very much, Liam Stewart. Ahoy to you. Ahoy, boys. Tell us something we haven't thought of for a while. The Lord of the Dance, Michael Flatley. Bad luck. Bad luck. I thought of him today. Sorry. I actually said the Alan Partridge joke. Flatly, my dear, I don't Riverdance. I actually said the Alan Partridge joke, flatly my dear, I don't Riverdance. I literally saw it at the ceremony. I gave my wife, you know, it was a great joke. I didn't tell it probably because it's not mine, but there was a meme that was going around and it was an Irish dance like lineup, right? Where the people are doing it and it's like a meme that says, you know, my kid between every mouthful of food at the dinner table.

I saw that. And I'm like, that is what our kids do every night. Just one mouthful. Got to get up. Got to find a cat. You got to get back to the table. Please get back to the table. As a double, as a double, when we're over in New York City, Ham, I walked past Radio City Music Hall.

Yep. And the Riverdance is featuring in April. She is. Yeah. I saw it on a poster. So unfortunately- Flatley's not still- No, Flatley is out of it.

Yeah. But it just made me think of Michael Flatley, the Lord of the Riverdance. He was the Lord. And from what I understand, I followed the monarchy of dance very heavily, but I don't think he was toppled as the Lord. I think he's still the Lord. Yeah, he remains the Lord. He remains the Lord.

Emily, ahoy to you. Ahoy, boys, how are you going? Very well. Very good, Emily. That's good. Look, I'm Devo, that D&T hat's gone, but I'm coming fast and legal. I'm hoping that you haven't thought of Clippy, the animated Microsoft paper clip. Have you, Ando?

So, you probably use Clippy every day. I'm so sorry. On this upcoming season of The 100, we did how many people recognise these famous icons. Oh, I think I was on that episode. You were on the episode, Heads. I have thought of Clippy. I never think of him as Clippy yeah, I have thought of clipping. I never think of him as clippy though. I just think of a paperclip.

Yeah, and so Hamish and I both have thought of that and discussed it on television. What a bummer. Although, should you wish to appeal our decision, you know which legal group to use. Evely, thank you so much. Thanks, boys. Cheers. I'm going to go and get a drink. I'm going to go and get a drink. I'm going to go and get a drink.

I'm going to go and get a drink. I'm going to go and get a drink. I'm going to go and get a drink. I'm going to go and get a drink. I'm going to go and get a drink. I'm going to go and get a drink. I'm going to go and get a drink. I'm going to go and get a drink.

I'm going to go and get a drink. I'm going to go and get a drink. I'm going to go and get a drink. Australia's favorite song, not the song Mike Brady's, no, Mike, who is watching? Steve Blum is watching. Sorry, Mike Brady's the singer of that song. Yes, Steve Blum is watching. Steve Blum is watching. Derby County have stolen the song and used it over there in Britain. And it's funny, I mean, I joke, but Mike Brady is watching.

He's the guy that sings that song and he's watching closer than anyone when that song is used because he's very particular about it. Yes. And we were excited to, at the Collingwood Carlton game, which would be going out tonight, we were recording this a couple of days before, to play up there, because Ailey, to shock the father-in-law of one of our listeners who thinks it's an original song called Steve Bloom is watching. Yep. And this father-in-law is obviously English, in the country, going to his first AFL match. Just a great chance for us to borrow a few minutes of air time at the MCG,

not bothering too many people, but well, you know, a hundred thousand people or so, but just for our own purposes to shock one visiting Britain. Everything was going smoothly, but Andy, tell us there's been an update. AFL signed off on it. They said though, it's the Collingwood-Holley match. Yep. They're in charge of the stereo, basically. It's your house. It's your sound system. Collingwood has said no. Collingwood said no. Yeah, Collingwood have said no, as if they needed another reason for people to hate their club. And they were suddenly going into this new nice guy thing, you know, they have lovely new coach and lovely players.

And now they've done this. What was their reason? They said it's a bit, they said they just jam packed. I said, what for two hours? Jam packed? I said for two hours. I said, I said two hours. Show us your Spotify.

Show us the playlist and we can cut one song out of that. Exactly. I said to, I rang the CEO, Craig Kelly. And as soon as he picked up, he went, I can't do it, mate. Sorry. I love that this is dominating the match, the pre-match. And I said, what do you mean? Is it because you're involved, Ando, and you're a well-known columnist and you're the enemy? I think that's it, Jack.

He said, he said, mate, we're announcing 30 years of our sponsor collaboration. And I said, you have two hours. Just do it like Hamish and I do it. 20 seconds at the front top. Yep. Mid-roll. Mid-roll. And then 20 seconds at the end. Sponsors will wrap with that.

They don't need two hours. People don't want too much. Exactly. He said, it's a big announcement. I said, it can't be two hours. You can't have two hours. You can't have two hours of thanking the sponsor. That is just ridiculous. Anyway. To be honest, I think the sponsor would like a little break as well.

Do we go to the sponsor now? It's Emirates. It's Emirates? Yeah. I don't want to drag them into this, but... No, it seems late in the day to call a sheik, whoever is the head of Emirates. He said, there's just a lot of activation. He said, how long do you need? He said, one chorus, one verse. Like, we don't need the whole track.

And perhaps a little message from us at the start. He said, I'll look into it, but he hasn't got back to me. I think it's over. So what I'm going to do, guys. I got Mike Brady's permission to. I did my job. You meant to ring him. Have you got audio then?

Yeah, yes, I call. So he's the obviously the we need his permission to play the song. He's the owner of the song. Yeah, called him just actually earlier this morning. First of all, Mike, thanks so much for taking the call. I'm just wondering, I know you've heard the show. Is it okay if we use up there? Because they look like, can we play it before grand final time? Yeah, no worries.

That's he's fine with it. The conversation go longer. Ages. That's just the highlights where he officially puts on tape his permission. So, my quest was going to be going in Thursday night to see a shocked British old elderly gent. I know, we had it all planned. You were going to film him. Instead, I've changed my mission. I'm going in two hours before and I'm going to assess where they could have squeezed a bit. So I'm going to give you guys a full report next week. If there's any fat in the two hours leading up to the game.

If there's any fat whatsoever in the schedule, I'm going to identify it. I'll bring back the areas where I felt like we could have slipped in at least a minute about Vic Azalea. My report will be next week. we could have slipped in at least a minute about their gazelle. My report will be next week. I mean, do you include any sponsor messages as fat or I suppose that has to be. No, well, that's the bit they needed to put in. So I'm not calling that fat. I'm just saying if there's a lull, if there's nothing being played or if

there's, if they've done a message too much, I'll let the, I can, they can, they can sing to their sponsors as much as they like, but if they've got anything else that's happening that I think. Are you going to be the only person, I'm confident the only person that's going to that match to assess the pregame programming. Yeah. It's not a thing you commonly hear from, you know, footy, no matter which code you follow or whatever sport to come home and go good match, super

tight pregame. They did this one thing about an hour out where they morphed we will rock you into a thing for chemists warehouse was really good really tight. I couldn't find any fat in it. Hey, I did a cool medical maneuver the other day. Pretty cool. Pretty cool medical maneuver. Like on someone else. Oh, like the Heimlich or something. You know how you can, you don't have to be a doctor, but you'd certainly,

and just didn't save someone's life. But you learned the maneuver or do you invent? I invented it. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, was. Okay. And then had you thought, oh, here's the almond. I know I've got just the pin. Or had you seen the instrument before and gone, oh, I could use that for said almond. Okay. No, the instrument is used for a much different, a very different reason. It was invented for a different reason, but it shares a common

solution goal with the problem I was presented with. Was there an item trapped inside someone? Yes. Right. So one of Sunny's mates was over and they're playing in the pool. Now, you know how frustrating it is to get water trapped in your ear. It can ruin the day. You hate a blocked area.

I hate a blocked area. Now wax is a different kettle of fish. Wax is a tougher, you kind of do need, oh, you can do it with a super soaker, but you do need to go to the doctor and get that flushed out. Yes. You could do it with a super soaker. I'm just going to say anything Hamish says is not opinion shared by other co-hosts. I'm not saying remember, I didn't say should, I said could.

I'm thinking post-apocalyptic. The old way they used to do it in the 80s was exactly what you're saying. They would just with a syringe fire as much water in as possible to try and draw say mud or something out. Yeah, or wash it out. I think you can still get that kit at the chemist. Yeah. Like a big syringe. I'm not sure if it's the right thing to do. And bear in mind too, were I to do it again, I'm saying go to the doctor preferably,

but say post-apocalyptic doctors, you know, society's crumbled, but you do have a super soaker. I would, you certainly, you know, sterilize the water. I'd boil the water and put like a salty solution in it too. If you're going to be shooting that up an ear. Anyway. Let it, sterilize the water. I'd boil the water and put like a salty solution in it too. If you're going to be shooting that up an ear. Anyway, let it cool down after the boiling. Yep. Good step, Jack. Good step.

And also because if you put boiling hot water in a Super Soaker magazine, that's going to melt the plastic too. Makes it harder for the next ear surgery you have to do. Anyway, wasn't wax. Wasn't wax. I'm just giving you an insight there into the mind of someone whose solutions driven. It was water. Suddenly water's trapped in this young man's ear.

And I'll use a different name for legal reasons, mostly my own. Oh, and his parents asking him why he requires ink and water. So poor old Reggie comes out of the pool, not even being in the pool for 10 minutes. He's like, Oh, I've got water trapped in my ass. That's annoying. He goes, I feel like it's just about to come out. Okay. So he's like sort of jumping up and down, shaking his head, doing that thing.

I said, yeah, what a bummer. And I think this is my thought process. I said, you know, the candles that people can light and the, they light a candle, a hollow candle and the vacuum created on the inside of the candle Jack draws wax or water or whatever out of the ear. It's like an ancient remedy. Sure.

So that idea popped into me. Of course we don't have ear candles on hand at home, but I thought to myself, actually Reggie, let me see if I can help you. We do have a small plunger. And how small? It would have to be tiny. No, no, that goes over the whole year. Oh, right.

Like not a, not a, not a Sylvania and family's plunger, like a Lego plunger. No, no, it goes over the whole year, but like a small one that we sometimes use for one of the toilets gets popped. You could create enough of a suction. Of a negative pressure environment. Yeah. Very, very gently, mind you, I'm aware of the dangers. To draw the water out.

But wouldn't you have to have a completely flat side of the head? Um, nah. You just, you just, you've got to create a seal. You're right. Cause the cup of the plunger is going over the ear. That's the hard part. I could see how frustrated he was. And let's not forget, this has been a much anticipated playdate. So the stakes are high.

You don't want water in you for the whole playdate. So I go, hang here, Reggie, in the kitchen. I'll go to the toilet and get it. Go to the toilet. Get it. Took it to the laundry. Washed it thoroughly. Great.

Okay. Even squirted a bit of bleach in there and stuff. It's like, we'll really clean this thing. This is now a medical grade instrument. That just so happens to have its holder in a toilet. Its original use was toilets. Yeah. There's ain't nothing in the rule book says it can't be used on heads.

Okay. Okay. So I now I'm thinking it through in my head. The way a plunger works is when you push it down, it creates positive pressure. Yes. And when you pull it back, it creates negative pressure. It was like, we don't want to create positive pressure into the ear that can burst an eardrum or whatever. You shouldn't do that. First thing they teach you at plunger medical school.

So I was like, we actually have to like push it down off the head and then put it on the head in the down position. So you then put it on the head in the down position. So you just pull it out. You're just doing the negative bit. You also want to be careful of that. Like very, very careful. So I was like, we don't know how hard we're pulling. Right. Cause you, I mean, obviously if his brains came out, if he's eyeball on the side that I'm suctioning suddenly disappears, there will be questions on the side that I'm suctioning suddenly disappears. There will be questions asked.

Like a uterus, this is all going through my head. So you go, okay, you're inventing a new medical procedure here. The upsides are enormous. Playdate can get back on track and Reggie can have a great day. The downsides are significant. Obviously it's a child. That's not my child's head and ears in play here. What do we have in society that stops madcap ideas, just going straight to patient with human trials?

Yeah. Let's test it on me. So I take it to me. We actually probably have animal trials first, but didn't think the cats would love it, so I'll take it to me and I did it a little bit. So push the plunger down, put it on my own ear, practice the pressure. How'd it feel? I was like, yeah, fine.

Just like a slight sucking. Took it into the kitchen and said, Reggie, come here. I think I've got a solution. Now is he, what's his disposition at this moment? He's a pretty up for it guy. He's like, okay, good on you Reggie. I love it. He's a great kid and he's up for a laugh.

Yeah, great. Like when you turned to me and said, should we try this? And I'm always used to go, yeah, sure. I don't think he really knew what was happening. But I said, I'm going to try something to get it out. And he was like, great. He's exactly the kind of guy I wanted to be in business with. Upside focus, a little bit of a risk appetite,

happy to be at the frontier of medicine. So I did what I'd been trained to do on my own head, depressed it, put it on his head, eased it off, right? Ease it off. And the look on his face when I got it, because it popped out, instant satisfaction, right? And I'm stoked too, because I'm like, then I, you know, undid the seal and like, we're safe. Like, could you see the water? Well, it was just, no, no, it was just, yeah. He was like, Oh, it's, it's out. Like I seen his face.

And so there we are in the absolute, you know, afterglow of experiment gone, right? Play dates back on track. The year has been unblocked as suspected. This is a good method. Binzo walks past the kitchen. Reginald is in board shorts as I've obviously like still like dripping on the floor and I'm there with a plunger on his head. What are you doing? And I said, oh, had a block to you. Had a block to you. Your had is really important. Had, he's better now. He's better now. I fixed it.

So he goes, what are you doing? You can't put that on his head. It's already happened. And Reg, tell her. He goes, yeah, it's out. He fixed it. And I was like, that is from the toilet. I was like, I washed it.

I obviously washed it. I've washed it several times. And then he left and I was like, you just can't, please don't do that. Please don't do that anymore. The way she was saying it was like, I want to do it. Like I'm cruising around looking for a used apartment. I won't leave you now. The weed has to stop. That's the last time.

The funny thing is, as it was now, I had time to process it. Reggie's dad is actually one of Sydney's, if not Australia's, best surgeons. Right. So I think, had it gone wrong, I just wonder, would he have been on my side and applauded the pioneering spirit? Or would he have been more of the school of thought? Because it's the school he came up in. Ten years of school. He studied for 20 years and, you know, slow and steady. Interesting. We'll never know

because it was a successful operation. Well, it's been a week. It's been a week now. Jaco with you with the new golf buggy. Yes. And I hear things, I hear you couldn't be happier. It's had the desired effect on the course. I have maybe it was a coincidence, but I have played my best ever round of golf. It's taking taking out the electric bug. It's quite incredible that this has come in because I've got to say

that text from Jack gave me joy. It did. We were happy. We're like it's it's worked. It's the whole ordeal has been worth it. This is the desired effect. He's shooting less, like, you know, like many shots under. He's handicapped. So for golf people, that's a big, that's a big relief. But we had to counterbalance that out with the overwhelming amount of emails that were disappointed with the result.

Do you think, Jack, hearing that you shot your best ever round and you broke 90 for the first time, you shot an 89, do you think there would be, first question, do you think there'd be universal joy amongst the listeners to hear that? Universal meaning. I was getting the vibe of I have not been on social media this week. Maybe another coincidence, but maybe also because I was getting the vibe that some people would have preferred me to give the golf buggy back over to the people.

And we didn't expect that because it was a, it was a, it wasn't said as a fair game, but it was a game we all agreed on to play. And I started typing that out and I thought, you know what? It doesn't matter. I can't have this argument with all 10,000 people who entered themselves into the competition. So maybe I'll just have a break and I've got things to do anyway, cause I've got golf to play. Hayne had a wonderful suggestion though, on the way in Hayne gave me a call and said,

we can't ignore the masses. What are they? What's the vibe? Are they, is it... Look, Jack, I'm, look, I think overwhelmingly people are like, you know what? It was an exciting display that I think you'd only get to see on a podcast where the rules are written and rewritten daily. And at every step along the way, it was understandable the choices you made. I think there were some that were going, OK, not what we're used to hearing.

Like usually on a show that's the people's show, not always do you hear no element of success going to the people, to which I would temper, though. Those those were like how many people did want the golf bug? Yeah, I mean, not I wouldn't say that's every single listener listening. I mean, we also say there's also a lot of people excited for you, Jack. You played hard. You did like that. I think honestly, for the Bianca said to me, why didn't you just have the fun with the roulette and then gift it back to the people afterwards? But I thought that would

have taken something away from the realness of the roulette game. And I don't think any of us are good enough actors to just pretend we're playing the roulette game and then at the end, it's a happy ending. And I know another reason why you didn't do it, because you wanted the buggy so bad. I think the integrity of the game was also in his mind. That is without question. You wanting the buggy so bad was never in doubt, Jack, that we completely ticked that box. I also want to say there's not there's no anger.

We haven't seen a single day. I might say the fence of the emails. No anger. I've seen no hatred. I've just seen people disappointed with the result. That was and that's happened. You can go and support your favorite team in a game. They don't always win. And you have to lose some for them to win.

When it does come to the people, it will feel that much better. That's right. Oh, good on you, Jack. Putting him through a tough loss. However, Jack, this is what I was thinking when I chatted to Amanda this morning. I was like, look, you can't deny that the worst case scenario, if you would have been a zero, because that is really where you should have given that extra edge to the people. Yes, a zero.

Yeah, right. At the casino is a loss. so that probably should have been theirs. Anyway, you didn't have to face that. Probably if it had to come up Zero, I would have then donated it back to the people. Very good point. Thank you. So I was sort of saying to Anna, like, you know, in any game of chance, you have to acknowledge the gods were smiling upon Jack, as much as we were like, you know, in any game of chance, you have to acknowledge the gods were smiling upon Jack as much as we were like, you know, and I think I

mentioned Zoe, my wife was like, God, he can't please be red, please be red. Like she just didn't want it to go to you, but you have to acknowledge the gods were smiling upon you. And I think everyone in the game has to acknowledge that the gods, you know, were smiling upon you and statistically you did have an edge. But at the same time, I think for this feeling of disappointment, for the scattering few, I think what would balance the ledger in the universe is. I think that people demand tribute.

I think you should offer up something as a thank you to the gods of chance and to the universe that, that allowed you to walk gods of chance and to the universe that that allowed you to walk away with the electric buggy, which you're never giving back. We can tell because it's completely changed your golf game. It would now would be crazy to give it back. You know, I took five shots off my best ever story. It's all right, Jack. We're not trying to make you get that.

We know you love the buggy. We get that. Everyone gets that. But what I think there was 10,886 people that wanted a giveaway of something. They wanted the buggy, but something would be nice. We think you should offer up something from your house or your life of a good value. OK, because I can't just say like one golf ball. No, no, Jack.

That's not the spirit of it. I want to know where your head's at so I can get an idea. Not one golf ball. You gotta fuck it. I said, this is the worry. This is the worry. No Jack, I want you to think like Old Testament biblical times or like a Mayan civilization where they sacrificed a human, Vikings, they sacrificed a human to please the gods.

They did not kill a weed and go, we killed something. That was not enough for the gods. The gods. Think of this like, you know, like ancient Greek times. The show's calmer. You feel like the show's karma relies on an offering. Something of worth. Not a golf ball, which we know for a fact you get for free. So why would you even offer 12?

Thanks, Taylor Nate. Literally Jack of the golf course. I'm out of balls. All right. I'll buy you some more. No, no, I've never bought a ball. I will never buy a ball. Okay. Let me, can I have some time to have a think of it?

Because now honestly, nothing comes to mind because I'm a simple I'm a minimalist type person. You're a hoarder. You know, I don't have that many. That's what no, that's even better luxury things. No, but it's not something that means nothing to you that you just have surplus of. It's something that means something to you that again, I reference the ancient gods. What kind of give like what my grandma's ring or something like that? People were sacrificing their kids back in the day, you know, I'm not saying give away your kid.

Gordy can stay with you. I'm just saying back in the day, even when the village sacrificed a lamb, that was a big deal because it's like, we've only got six and we need them to be grown sheep. What about Gordy's cot? Cause he didn't need it anymore. That's not the point. This isn't hard rubbish. This is, it has to be something of meaning like a guitar or something.

What about a guitar? No, no, I love that guitar. That's the point. You have to make it right with the gods. We'll give him a week. We'll come back and have a think about it. And then... Give away a guitar. Okay, wait, wait. Just so I'm clear, is it another game of chance where I can win back?

No, that will not appease the people. They were expecting giveaway. We won't pressure him anymore. He think... I think he now knows the level of what we expect or we're hopeful of, but he can pick the level. We'll give him a week. You just don't hear about this in ancient Greek history when like the chief, I don't know, like the Grand Seer of the village or the chief shaman said, okay, the gods demand a sacrifice. We pick you and they come back and they go, yeah, look, we're not going to do it. We hand a sacrifice, we pick you and they come back and they go, yeah, look, we're not going to do it.

We tried, we offered you some old sandals we don't use anymore. No, no. When we do the sacrifice, there's a chance we could win something off the gods. No, that's not how pleasing the gods works. All right. So we'll give you a week, Jacko. And then. Come on, please the gods' works. All right. So we'll give you a week, Jaco, and then- Come on, please the gods.