Hamish & Andy - 2025 Ep 288 - The shocking item found concealed in Andy’s house

Episode Date: April 23, 2025

1. World’s tallest hat 2. Extreme empaths 3. Andy’s dig discovery 4. Burg Boys pick their mission5. Back to the Future In very rare scenes, Hamish has done some thorough research on the “World’s Tallest Hat” and has some ideas. The Extreme Empaths keep coming in, and Andy reveals a VERY suspicious item they found while renovating their 1876 house. Hamish has a gripe with AppleTV, and the Burg Boys have officially picked their target, it’s on!

A listener production. Activate your internet. Because the Hey Mission and the podcast starts in 3, 2, Sorry, still buffering. One. Ahoy to my Mencorey, Hamish. Go on. Ahoy to my Cah-fray.

Oh, okay. Cah-fray. Cah-fray. Cah-fray. Cah-fray. Yeah. Oh, we need rehab exercises. Mincorey and Cah-fray.

And then I am Kofu. Jeez, it's always tough when you've got... We criticized last week with the friends. Yeah, way too easy. Way too easy. So it's gone extra hard. So Eliza's come back with a great one, I think. Okay.

How about witches from 10,000 years ago? No, it's a great one, which is a clue. A great one. Are they... okay, big lakes? No, Jack would be scared to eat them. Is it's gotta be something sharp? The Great Pyramids. Oh, Pyramids.

The Great Pyramids. They have names. The three great pyramids. They have names. How do you think they built them, mate? Sorry, biggy, big, middle or small, which one are we doing the decoration on? Let's see, which left?

I looked into this, there's over a hundred there, right? Pyramids, yeah. Pyramids. So that's why they're the great ones. And then they've got the great ones, which are the three biggies. Yeah. Mancori, southern most and smallest ham

of the three pyramids, that's you. Carfrae, the middle pyramid was built for Carfrae, the fourth king of the fourth dynasty, and I've just so happened to be the largest pyramid. Kofu just fell in my lap that time around, but this for the second king of the fourth dynasty. Ahoy also to Abby from Amsterdam, hointohamishnanny.com, avoiding WhatsApp,

because obviously that can be tricky and use a very security-based program we have. The Hamishnanny.com. Ahoy Hamish, Ando and the weasel. Abbie here calling in from Amsterdam. I'm hoping you can settle a healthy debate that quickly escalated into quite the uproar of disagreement at last week's book club.

To paint you a picture, our friend and book club member, Ollie, has facial hair on his chin, on the space between his mouth and nose and also sideburns, like it's all connected. I said, oh, yeah, Ollie has facial hair. He has a beard and a mustache. Everyone else absolutely lost it and said, Ollie does not have a mustache. He only has a beard.

They think a mustache is when you strictly only have hair on your upper lip and no other beard hair. They call everything else a beard. Please could you settle this? Interesting. I think everyone's got an interesting point there. I've never said to anyone that you have a mustache. Or a beard and a mustache. However, if you're getting your beard cut or grew or trim, they'll say, do you want me to do the mustache?

Really? But before I even said that, I was gonna say, everyone here is just screaming two words as they're listening to this part on the train or in the car or whatever, Abraham Lincoln. I mean, there's a man that had a beard and no mustache. So- They have to be separate entities, don't they?

Well, there are two things that obviously can join together. Oh, they're a great duo. They go really well together. They can do solo projects. Yeah, that's exactly right. And when they're playing together, they're so good. It's kind of like it is Simon and Garfunkel. They're playing so well that you'd probably give

a lot of the credit to Paul Simon. Yep. You mustn't forget that Garfunkel, the mustache is there. I think Abbie's right. You've proven the point that they have to be separate entities because if I said, oh yeah, Haim's got a beard and someone said, does he have a moustache? Yes, he also has one of those. That's part, I mean, you could argue that it's part of the beard.

When a moustache and a beard are put together, they just become a bigger beard, I suppose. But you can say Hamish has a beard without giving more information. You know, if I go, my friend Hamish has a beard, I'm not expecting the person to picture Abraham Lincoln because I haven't said, and a moustache. Yeah, it is assumed. Do you know what it is? I've got it.

It is assumed. Right. know what it is? I've got it. It is assumed. Right. This is the perfect analogy. If I said to you, he's got a car, you'd assume a roof. Yes. Okay. But convertibles don't have roofs.

Okay. So you go, you wouldn't go with a roof. You'd just go, he's got a car. How have you turned up in a convertible? You go, oh, it's one of those. Yeah. That's still a car. How about if you turn up in a convertible? You go, oh, it's one of those. Yeah, that's exactly it. So if you turn up with a chin strap beard, if I said,

oh, my friend Andy's coming along, by the way, he's got a beard. Yeah, great. He'd come along. And if you had a chin strap beard. And no mustache. You would go and no mustache. You would go, oh, one of those. Like you feel when you see a convertible. Oh, it's one of those. It's still a car.

Yes. But you assume a roof. Now, yes, I don't know if the roof was out by itself that you just call that the roof of a car. Yes. So we've got a rare situation for Abby where they're both right. Yep. Like that. We would say her friends are more right.

Yeah. You know, because they should be laughing at her. They're wrong. I think I think are more right. Yeah. You, you, you, you. No, cause they should be laughing at her. They're wrong. I think Abby's right. Yeah. Cause she was saying a mustache exists within the beard as well.

Like you can, you can clean the roof of your car. You wouldn't have to go, oh, I've got a car and a roof. You're allowed to just say, I've got a car. I'm glad they thought of that out. They can turn up. Yes. The mustache is the convertible top of the car. Ignoring the fact that sometimes people obviously just have a mustache. That's where it breaks down.

That is where it breaks down. You don't see people walking along the freeway just at the roof of a car, balanced on their head. Haim, you wanted the top. Now, we started the show a little bit silly, but if I could bring it back to some seriousness for a moment. Last week on the show, we touched on the idea of having the special skills conclave, looking for the chosen one for special skills.

Before we talked about that, we brought up the world's tallest hat. We laughed it off at the time. We laughed off, we were like, look, we're not here to focus on the world's tallest hat, and we're not. World's tallest hat being 4.8 meters for those that need a quick refresher from last week, and we just were like, look, that's something we could revisit down the track because we all thought about 10 meters should be the world's tallest hat. Yeah. Yeah.

Um, I remember we thought it was gettable to beat the report. We thought it was gettable. Anyway, we moved on. We went off and we went about our weeks. I didn't. Wow. I dug a little deeper into how we do this hat thing. Great.

Now I'm not saying we do it now, I know we've got a lot of stuff going on. But I think we had some questions at the time, but I don't think I'm alone in wondering what the specifics of it are. Well, yeah, we were speculating, does he have to, how far do you have to walk with the hat on? Does it have to have a trim? And it was 10 meters? The wearer must walk 10 meters while wearing the hat.

This proves that the hat is not just a sculpture or these are the official rules. This proves the hat is not just a sculpture or prop, but a wearable item. Bear with me, there's a real distinction between wearable and practical because I think by the time you even go over one meter. Now you've got a joke hat. It is wearable, but it Cause I think by the time you even go over one meter. Yes. Now you've got a Joe cat. It is wearable, but it's not a practical item. That's true. With the walk, do you just get one go at the walk?

That is a great question. Because, you know, like depending on- I think you can have a few goes. Well, let's say you're trying to smash the most watermelons with your head. If you do, you know, 48 and the record's 51, you can have an under goes. Well, let's say you're trying to smash the most watermelons with your head. If you do 48 and the record's 51, you can have it under the go later that day. Well, eventually know the guy from Guinness World Records is going to go home. I reckon after your 18th try when you're getting through seven

watermelons, he's going to go, okay, I reckon regularly call it for today. My bus, the last bus is about to go. You've done over 300 watermelons, but you haven't run them in succession. No one wants to see any more of this. You nearly got it on the first one and we've just been going down from there. True. But sometimes they like, with a hat, you'd be allowed to have a few goes. Great. But sometimes I've seen, particularly with television, televised ones, they're like, okay, he's got trines and it seems like a one go thing,

but that's great. I mean, I hope you can have... Look, the stakes are even higher if you only get one shot. I think the big thing we were wondering about was handles. Or can you hold on to the brim? Right. No, I assumed no. You're not. No. Yeah, well, that makes sense because I don't see you walking around holding the brim? Right. No, I assumed no. You're not. No. Yeah, well, that makes sense because I don't see you walking around holding your cap all the time. It doesn't seem...

Well, you could pretend you're a gentleman getting ready to doff the cap. But you can't have any hand-cut... But chin strap was the big one for me. You can't have a strap under the hat. That makes sense. A bonnet has a strap, I would argue, but a hat does not. And a lot of kids in the playground have a hat on their wide rim. That's true.

Have a string. A drawstring is actually, you would have an adult drawstring as well. I suppose, I mean, we could talk to the record people, think about the weight of a 10 meter tall hat. The drawstring is not going to do much, but maybe cut your neck. If that thing starts to go, it's probably a bit of a safety issue. Had you had us think about, cause I've had a bit of a think about what we make it out of. Yeah. I mean, it's obviously lightweight, lightweight, lightweight has got to be the name of the game. Here's the problem. The actual record holder is Australian, from Melbourne.

So I worry that he's listening to this. I'm a bit sad to take one out of our own backyard. I kind of felt like we were going to steal from the Dutch or something. Yeah, when I saw the picture, it seemed like a silly kind of euro thing to do. But in fact, it's a silly Melbourne thing to do. However, I'm still happy. Can we be outside? Can we be inside for the 10-metre walk? Yeah, sure. I mean, yeah, if we went to like a aircraft hangar or something. Yeah Well, you need something with the high. Just don't want the wind. That was what I wanted. Wind would be the problem.

Yep, and I think what from what I'm thinking like you need a super lightweight material My gut would be that it begins to taper. I don't think we need to keep it the same width the whole way up. Agree. It almost it's almost a conical hat. Yep. Like an elf would wear. Yeah. It's a giant dunce's hat. That's what I was thinking. Yeah.

An ironic dunce's hat, because if you pull it off, you're certainly not the dunce. Oh, you're the best. You're the best. Yeah. Yeah. Certainly if you're going above five meters. And then you mold like some sort of head mold specific to one of our heads. Yep.

Is the base of that cone. And so it's got the most chance of sticking to your head that way. The current world record holder, what hat did he have? It just looked like a very, very long kind of top hat. You know how buildings to get the biggest building, sometimes they just put a big antenna on the top. I wondered about that too. Is there a rule of how thin we can get at the top? Not according to this.

Okay. Because there's those type of helmets that have a spike on the top. Yeah. Yeah. The hat must be wearable and worn. It must be a functioning hat. It's not. It's not. And this is the hat you wear around? Yep. Yeah. Just to the beach and stuff. Good sun protection. People don't love it when I wear it to the movies.

But yeah. Worn on the head without external support, like wires or poles. Yeah, no wires. It should have been a funny one. Just have you guys with guy ropes walking next to me. Though limited internal support is allowed. Wonder why that's limited. I would have thought...

Well, that's what I'm wondering. Because could you, is a helmet as its base, probably that's probably too much internal support. I don't know. Maybe. And then it'd be how you stick it to the helmet. And then no chin strap. The measurement includes the full vertical height from the bottom of the hat, where it sits on the head,

to the highest point of the structure. So now they're calling it a structure. Who do you think is best placed to wear it for the walk? Maybe we should do some kind of finishing school to see who can walk the straightest. Straightest, yeah. And then, you know, we all put a book on our head or something. Yeah, yeah. I mean, it doesn't have to be made by any stretcher.

Materials and construction must be safe. Guinness does not allow dangerous or hazardous items in record attempts. Okay. And of course, you know, the independent witnesses and videos. What did they, did it list what the guy made his out of? No, I don't think that. I don't think he's going to give that away. Both teams kind of keep the materials for themselves and you, a risk of a rival hat maker getting the edge on design and materials.

Here's a controversial suggestion. The guys in Australia, why don't we team up with him and together we build the world's tallest hat because he has experience, he can answer all of these questions for us. It does feel good having a nemesis. What? And like he walks, we're just going to watch another guy do it. We're just going to give him our... Jack, have you watched any documentaries on the Cold War? There's no point if we're both.

Yeah. Successfully have, you know, you've got 5,000 nukes, I've got 5,000 nukes. We could all both have 10,000. It could be a big win for Australia though. So if any other countries are circling going, we got to do that hat prank. We've got to do the tall hat. It's not a prank remember, this isn't a prank, this is about prestige. You're thinking of the tall hat. It's not a prank remember, this isn't a prank this is about prestige you're thinking of

the five hat prank. Do you think we are that ill equipped that we need another guy that can walk in? Well we don't know anything and we keep, I feel sorry for Hamish because we keep asking him about the original hat and he knows nothing about it. He knows nothing about it. I said I'd add a little bit of research. I didn't go and interview everyone that's been involved in the previous hat record. I don't want to know about his hat.

I want to do my own hat. Our own hat. The problem is, Jack, is that if we go off his, he only gets to 4.8 metres. We want to smash that. His design. We've got to be thinking much bigger. We literally build on his hat. No, no, no.

But that's the thing. You only, you know, he probably has some limits he's put on himself there. I want it completely unlimited. Yeah. You know, blue sky thinking here. Yeah. I also think, Jake, if we went to him and said, listen, we've heard whispers that you're trying to break 4.8.

So will we? Do we team up? He would be within his rights to go. Why would I team up with you? Hmm. I know we've got experience. What's your experience? We read about it.

Yeah. Have you built any other hats before? Actually, we get in there. Yeah, I built five hats. Five hats. But I went for wider stats. And they were mostly stapled together. All right.

Watch this, Faith. And they were mostly stapled together. All right, watch this face. Hey, they keep coming in. And so we need to keep delivering them to people to know that they're not alone with extreme empathy. It's time to jump into this. Of course, that's every song ever written, played all at once. So no song feels left out for Extreme Empath. Do you want me to kick it off? Let's do it. This is Michael D from New Zealand.

He goes, on the Extreme Empaths, I'm changing my fitness watch from an Apple Watch to a Garmin. Oh, okay. The day I picked up my new watch, I took my Apple Watch for one last walk in the park to all the places we go, followed by a run, then a swim. It enjoyed the activities like we always did together for one last time. I mean, I'm actually in the same boat. Again, this is not for no weasel purposes at all here.

Receipts available on request, but I'm a Garmin. Really? Because the battery lasts for 31 days. And I just quit. You're not a charger. Fast and loose. You can't, you can't be expecting me every 24 hours to get that thing back on the charge. Like that is just not gonna happen.

But the Apple Watch sits there dead, looking at me every time I open the drawer. Really? It sees the Garmin. And the Garmin, I winks, I feel. Maybe if you had a bit more juice. Both great products. And this is from Emma. Always keep Weasel Hatches open for any time in the future.

Both have their merits. I made a decision based on my personal circumstance. Yes, of course. This is from Emma and about our opener for Extreme Empaths. She says, I think it's lovely that you guys have included every song ever written for the theme tune, but what about all the songs that have come out since you made the theme song? I feel really sad knowing that they're listening going, I didn't get included in the theme song.

I think that's okay. I mean, when you've got fun memories, like when I talk about something fun that happened that my nephew wasn't alive for, I don't think he goes, oh, gosh. But these songs, had we made the theme song today, they'd be in. Yeah. And they're not. They're not. This is from Lockie. My partner Annabel and I are doctors. He writes, I'm currently on days while she's on nights. Meaning the beard is almost occupied 24 hours a day.

Annabel has started delaying going to bed to make sure the bed has a little bit of a break. Yeah, no one, no bed can withstand that thrashing. Fabian writes in, I'm an extreme empath because all tin cans are now essentially ring pulls. I still like to open one every now and again with my can opener, because I feel sorry it doesn't get any use these days. Like all those people getting their jobs taken by AI. Yeah, when ring pulls came along, that was really infuriating.

From William, vending machine empath. He goes, I bought a bottle of water from Vending Machine the other day. I'm not an empath, but my wife is. And she got upset and felt sorry for the bottle falling from a height and hurting itself and dropped to the bottom of the machine. She felt that I should have selected a water lower. According to that logic, she would have really been upset when I ripped its head off and drank its bodily fluids. And this is from Alastair.

He says, whenever I'm typing and editing a document or email, I sometimes realize I've typed the same word twice. I always make sure that I delete the most recent version of the word, not the original, because I can't stand the thought of ending a word's life because some new upstart version of it just came along and took its place straight away afterwards. Molly, I'm an extreme empath. I just found out that there is a bone in the body called the hyoid responsible for our ability to talk and swallow, etc. It's the only bone in our

body that isn't connected to another bone. He's all alone, floating around like the last kid picked in the schoolyard. I'm sure you could have a surgery to connect it to a rib or something. I'm sure you could have a surgery to connect it to a rib or something. What's making me weird? It would impede things I imagine. All seems to work. And this is from Hannah. She's a flight attendant. She's from New Zealand, flies destination back there and back in a day, e.g. Auckland, Fiji, Auckland. I did this last week and as I closed the aircraft door in Fiji, I noticed a fly had snuck in the aircraft. I was unable to reopen the door and let him out. I thought immediately, sad, this fly would soon be arriving in Auckland, never to return to his family and would have

to start a new life 1300 miles away. A lot of people do migrate to New Zealand though, it's a lovely place. I think the fly would enjoy a crack at the big city. And what's to say if he doesn't just cruise around the, I mean it's not hard, fly into the airport, look at the board, see when the plane's going back and just catch your flight home. Guys. Yeah. At the house build, we found something. Another tunnel. A neighbour has tunneled in, hoping to say there was a tunnel party, hoping to access some of your subterranean treasures. No, it was... Like your golf sim. My next-door neighbour, good mates with one of my neighbours already, a guy called Blakey,

built a tunnel to his house. He's got the same surname as you, maybe related him. Maybe that's why I like him. Yeah. The psychology of it. I'm sure you're not playing favourites with your neighbours though, I'm sure you're friends with all of them. No, no, I've got my faves.

And I think Blakey would like a little tunnel to the golf sim, he's into his golf. And I can just do a bit of a walkie talkie to him like we kids and see you down there. I mean tunnels are very expensive, he could also just wander over. Yeah, that's probably a better idea. If you're looking at the costings, the walkie talkie is definitely the cheaper option. Yeah, no. Come on over, I'll let you in as a friend. I'll be in the front gate.

I'm in the front gate. Yeah. You go, come on over, I'll let you in as a friend. I'll let you in the front gate. Yeah. I'm in the front gate. We found... What did you find? We found a bunch of things when you were digging the tunnel. Yep. Yep.

Well, you have dug down to a... I've seen the hole. I mean, approximately the Cretaceous period. So it's a massive hole. It's a big hole. So it wouldn't be... I'm not surprised by what you found. A bit of the meteorite that

killed the dinosaurs? What have you found? We found something when dismantling one of the walls in the house. Oh, I guess this is on the surface. It's on the surface. But that's a, it's a very old. Well it's from 1876, the house. We found a coin from 1896. Wow. And then, and this way it gets a bit eerie.

So they built the house and 20 years later they put a coin in the wall. Well, I mean, they didn't. I mean, I know there wasn't much to do back in those days, but it might have just fallen in there accidentally. I don't think they said, come around, we're putting a coin in the wall. That's right. That's not the kind of thing they did do in the 1800s. Whenever we have to explain the olden days to the kids, they always go, why?

I was explaining dancing around the Maypole to my daughter, which is where you dance around, you have the ribbons that kind of wrap up in a pattern. She's like, why did they do that? Because Nintendo wouldn't be. I understand, mate. Yeah. No internet. No internet. You just had to think of something to do.

So it could have very possible come around with putting a coin in the wall. Well, Beck wants to put something in the wall for us. Like, so for in 200 years when someone else... I like that. Yeah. Yeah. We don't know what that is yet. Well, if you get the Hamish and Andy Dollar coin, what, put another coin in the wall?

Yeah. Oh my God, keep the tradition going. That'd be nice. Well, that's another reason why we need this coin. Anyway, we found a flask. Oh, a flask? What is that? Yeah, look at this. Which what looks with a white powder inside it. Oh, here we go.

The cork has eroded at the top. What do you mean here with that? Oh, it just sounds like something that, you know, something from Mad Monday, 1896. And no, no, Your Honour, the cork eroded and it fell onto me. I wasn't trying to take it. The cork eroded. No, but it looks so old and daisy. Well, I mean, I did, Hayme's right.

It does look a little bit like cocaine. How do you feel about that? And he's trying to blame erosion as to why it would be falling out. I looked up cocaine arrived in Australia in the late 1800s. Really? Oh my god. So it was probably legal, but it was probably like a medicine or something back then. It was.

It was like. Yeah, for headaches. Headaches. And inability to talk about crypto. If you couldn't, you're like, oh, I have some of this. So I don't know what is in here. I don't know what it is, but I wondered. Is this great?

I mean, we were joking about it, but Andy might accidentally take a class A prohibited drug on the show. What are the rules there? I mean, now that I've got it. I think like in science, isn't there a bit of grey area because it's scientific? It works for me. So footy players wear lab coats at their end of season. Yeah, okay. A lot of lab coats and loggies. Do you, is it just, I mean, who knows? Do you get it analysed?

Great idea. I think, but that doesn't, that sounds a bit boring. Wouldn't it be more fun to just have a little bit and see what happens? No, getting huge head shakes from outside. So what about if, I mean, obviously we've got amazing great listeners here. If anyone works or knows someone that works in the kind of laboratory that could test this course and find out what the powder is. Whenever there's a scandal, it's like, oh, you know, such and such a scene with a white powder on the table. Yeah. And that because you have to say that because it's, you know, we don't know what it is.

You can't actually say it. This is the one time where white powder is actually the correct term. Yeah. And it looks like it could just be nothing. Could just be old sand or something. And it looks like the bottle. I mean, it feels very old because the bottle has been handmade. Like it hasn't come out of a factory or anything. It's old. And the cork does look like it's lived 150 years. And how much was the coin for? How much was the coin for? Like what was the coin? What denomination?

It was just a commemorative coin. They were doing commemorative coins back in the 1800s. Yeah. What was it commemorating? I should know. 1700s. Maybe the centennial. You've got to remember, back in the 1896, they thought they were in the future from the 1856.

Okay. So this goes up to the lab. We'll get the results coming back. If you imagine, I mean, you are just serving it up on a platter for the Daily Mail here if that is a drug. I mean, this is great. Eddie Lee finds drugs and cash stashed in house. Not mine.

The cork eroded. It's for scientific reasons. This is, this is, this is fascinating. Okay, well come to us. Probably, I reckon that if you look at the pie chart, I actually think drugs is probably very, very slim. What would they? Or like narcotics is probably very slim. Poison could be.

I thought poison as well. Poison feels a lot more 1896. Because it was the 1800s, mate. There was a lot of poisoning in the olden days. A lot of poisoning. Really? Mate, read Shakespeare. Poison here, poison there. There was people employed for like kings and stuff to eat food A lot of poisoning. Really? May it read Shakespeare. Poison here, poison there, poison there.

There was people employed for like kings and stuff to eat food before the king ate it because it might be poisoned. You're right. Yeah. Yeah. Taste testers. Okay. Well, stay tuned everybody.

We're on this adventure. Heym, we've continued on with this. Be on the lookout for three people testing small business security. Berg boys, Berg boys, whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do when we steal from you? Haim, we met. We met off-site at our den. We're not going to disclose where we're putting together the plans. I covered my mouth while we were talking in case anyone was filming it and lip reading. Yes.

But then I realized no biggie because we were also recording it. So I stopped doing that. But we needed, we, I'll just say it right now, we've picked the job. Yep. So this is our plan to test small business security somewhere. We needed the boss of the business essentially to register and go, yep, come try and steal something from our car yard or whatever. We've, we've assessed them.

We met off, so we bought our most, our favorite potential targets to this meeting. I'm just going to say now we have picked one and you don't think you're going to hear the job in this little bit of audio we play. No. Because we have to, there's security around it now. We've got to beep that out. But this is how we got to that point when we all met up to pick the job. At some point, don't do it right now, but we need code names or nicknames. So when we're talking about it and, and, or for instance, if we've got comms during the heist,

and someone's listening in, they don't know it's us. Sorry, code names for us or code names for the heist? I'd like to be Godzilla. No, no, it's gonna be more subtle than that. Code name Godzilla? Yeah, because that draws attention. Well, Jeff. Yeah?

Well, just call me Amish. Isn't the fun of a codename that you name it? Yeah, I know, but I think, like, say if people are listening... I think Osama bin Laden was even allowed to be Geronimo. Geronimo. Yeah, but I thought if anyone's listening into our comms and they hear us refer to Godzilla, they'll say, that's suspicious. Yeah.

So I have to have a, just a regular and I have to be Kev. Yep. Or Dale. Like what is that what you're saying? Somewhere between Dale and Godzilla. Yeah. So it's right. It's just yeah, you've gone the extremes. I think we should go. Joseph. Well, that's my brother's name. That could get confusing. Okay. Well, let's obviously this is too hard to decide. We'll do code names later. Let's talk the actual target.

I've narrowed mine down to two, I reckon. Comes in from Lockie. We would be burging a martial arts centre. Oh, well, that's dangerous. Which is why I love it, Jack. I mean, that's do we want to do something that requires some balls here or not? No, we discussed that last week. He's saying they have one of those practice dummies that they do kicking and punching on, you know, like the rubber torso and the head.

It's called Greg. He's like, could you steal Greg? That's the challenge. How do you get in and out with Greg without being detected? Now, it just isn't as a problem to solve. I don't mind it. My immediate thought is we need to put Greg in something. Yes, I thought we'd come in as vending machine repairmen or something like that. So we're wheeling a big box. We have air conditioning guys. Or a hollow vending machine.

That's what I was thinking. Well, that's why I said it, Jack. Sorry, it sounded like an anxiety. Go ahead. So you've got something big that you're bringing in. That's what I mean. And then you make a fake one of that, put Greg in there and take him out. Yeah.

Possibility. The fun about that is the reconnaissance is fun. We'd have to send in one of us or a friend to take the course to go in there, check it out. You're right, actually. Yeah. And potentially wear Google Glass or those glasses that record where you're walking. Yeah.

I've got two pairs of Ray-Ban meters. Okay. So I'm very happy to donate one pair. I said there was an ordering mishap as I was impulse buying them. Here's another one from Jemima then. I nominate my husband as small business. He's a builder. Go on and steal his excavator. Shit, that's good. I nominate my husband's small business. He's a builder.

Go in and steal his excavator. Shit, that's good. Wow. How big is it? Little small one, big one. Don't know, that's weird. We have to get licensed to drive. I mean, my mate Trinny drives an excavator.

He could, Trinny could give us a crash course. The excitement of that is, we have to find out what size it is. Obviously it's getting onto a trailer. We're not gonna have the slope speed chase of him chasing down an Escarabit. He catches. But we'd have to work out some idea

as to why we had to pick it up. Maybe a repair. Yeah, excavator extraction. That's tricky. It's tricky, but it's expensive bit of equipment that you wouldn't want to lose the builder Mate, absolutely not the whole thing. I mean if it's a big digger, that's that's the whole business Don't you think though like that idea of pretending to be repairman? It's his excavator So he's gonna remember if he booked a repairman or not

We can't just not if we show him the clipboard with his name on it. It's right here It is that way you go in it beforehand. Oh right. Right, so it needs a repair. We deliberately remove something. He's on a call. And we could come around and say... We intercept the call.

Yeah, that's cool. We could come around and go, we're from WorkSafe, like DigSafe or whatever, we just need to inspect your excavator. Oh mate, your tube here's come out. We're going to have to take her. Yeah. Okay. Anyway, we're just spitballing.

We're spitballing. No one has the plan straight away. This is why, this is why when you do a heist, they usually go and like live in an abandoned warehouse for like six weeks. You've got to figure out the plan. It's not, you never pick up the phone and go, we're doing it tomorrow. And they go, yeah, great, sounds easy. You have to work out the plan. What about this? From ****. I'd like you guys to security test my ****. So straight away like, oh, what's this, files and stuff? No. Says, I think if you can steal a painting

off the staircase, it'd be amazing. especially given only one person can fit in the staircase at one time that's fine then he says if it's too difficult try this but I actually think we should do both because if not steal the company's that'd be hilarious seeing you guys try and find the keys and try to steal the car from the staff parking area this is from because everyone expects you to do security tests in the big cities, but come to a regional town where we won't expect it. And driving away in a car with the painting is an amazing finale. I like that. Grand Theft Auto and an art heist.

An art heist and an art heist. I like that. There's so much we need to know. We need to know what the paintings are. Are they alarmed? How do you get into the stairwell, how do you get out of the stairwell, why are you here, where are the keys to the... He's the only, I don't want to yuck your yum here, but the only thing for me is that it's a long way for us

to go for the reconnaissance part of it. Like the recon would be like the night before, we stay one night in a motel then rob the place. Well, I don't like that because it gives you 12 hours to put me on a plan. We're going no matter what. You didn't see George Clooney and Brad Pitt go, we're doing it tomorrow. And they're like, well, that doesn't give us time to plan. It's like, well, it's expensive to fly everybody here.

We'd love to be done by the weekend. I think we can make contact with someone in **** We'd love to be done by the weekend. I think we can make contact with someone in **** and we even in first instance get someone to walk in there with the video glasses on, scope it out, we can then look at the footage, we can then start to get a bit of information, build up a list of questions we need answered. Where are the keys? What's the art situation like? What does the building look like? What's the schematics of the building? Would it be, oh,

let's get blueprints. Yeah, we'll definitely get blueprints. All right. Is that the one we're going for? Is it an art heist from a **** where we steal the company **** as well? I think it is. I think it is. Okay, great. So with that in mind... Hmm. I mean... Just commence operation. That's what we say. I know, but then you go off and do nothing. You go off and play golf. I'm the one that bought the job.

I bought the job to the crew. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, I'll get on with it. No, no. Make some contact. Thanks. And write this down. Make some contact. I reckon I'll talk to no bloody me doing everything he knows Yeah, but we did I was under the impression. We're not going to go and oh we don't tell they're doing it

Well, then we've got an inside person. Yeah. Yeah, we don't tell him but we need him to go We need him to give us the amnesty letter to go, hey. Oh, that's true as well. Like, he just says, I would like you to security test my ****. What if he's made a mistake and he's the receptionist? Yeah, OK. No, but you know what I mean? And we go, no, no, **** centers.

They're like, ****, he hasn't worked with me for five years. I think we actually need to get **** on a polygraph to swear that he's not going to spill the beans. He needs to be OK with us doing this because we're in the movie. This is based off. OK, Sneakers, Robert Redford from the 90s. The board of the bank agrees to hire the guys. OK, so when they get caught, no one's in trouble. That's true. We do need to have blessing from above. He can't say anything.

But we're not asking him for all the details. We're just saying. He has to promise two things. That he won't spill the beans or that he won't himself try to increase security like he starts wandering around there at night. Or decrease security. I don't want him helping or hindering. Or actually is the boss. Like we actually need to know he's the boss. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's also got to promise that he doesn't increase security or decrease, he's got to just remain neutral. Yeah, it's got to be a valid test.

Like it could be any given night. All right. So I've just gone on the website of the great thing is he's a director. So there's three directors and he's one of them. So we do have blessings from up on high. Right. The next steps are we get the layout. What is the painting?

What does the office look like? And then we've got enough to come back and start. We have a real proper meeting where we formulate the plan. Love it. Okay. Last three weekends in a row, we have done the Back to the Future trilogy. Oh, cool. One a weekend. I'm assuming you didn't do all three. So in the first two weekends, hyping up the kids.

Nine hours in a row. No, yeah, one a weekend. How did they feel once they got to three? Yeah, I loved it. Three is not too bad. I love three. Three is good. It gets a bad rap, but Loved it. Three's not too bad. I love three. Three's good. It gets a bad rap, but it's good.

It gets a slightly bad rap. This is in the Wild West for those that haven't seen it. Zoe foolishly or just, just really just, I mean, questionably sat out the middle weekend, she had something to do. So it was just me and the kids watching Back to the Future 2 and she goes, I thought that was the bad one. I was like, who told you that? It's the good one. It's the hoverboard one. watching Back to the Future 2 and she goes, I thought that was the bad one. I was like, oh, don't you that it's the good one.

It's the hoverboard one. Yeah, of course it is. Anyway, went down a treat. So, you know, anyone with seven to 10 year olds that zone just worked brilliantly. And like in explaining, it's funny because you really go like the kids have got some great questions about time travel and it's like, how does this work? But if you go back and you meet your dad. And what year do they get to? When he's in the future, what is it? Yeah, well, the funny thing about it is that's 2015.

2015. So in the movies he goes from 1985 to 2015, where it's like flying cars and hoverboards and stuff. Which, you know, we all were promised things in the future and we all know that the wheels of progress move a little slower. But there's also some, well, I mean, obviously not finding cars. Oh no, and guess the internet. So, you know, we got the internet. And the screens, I remember seeing all the screens and going, oh my gosh, there'll be a lot of screens in the future.

And there's lots of screens. Yeah. They did the best they could and they called a few things. But that's why, I mean, this is not the point here, but remember our friend Ryan, Ryan Shelton from the Imperfects podcast, you know, great mate of all of ours. He's a huge Back to the Future fan and he actually, we watched Back to the Future 1 with us and he doesn't have kids of his own, but he was like teary because he was like, this is, I've always dreamed of watching Back to the Future with kids and, and, and explaining it to them.

And I guess since I don't have any yet, this is just seems like a quick way to get that high. But remember in 2015, so on the actual date in the movie that they go forward to, there was an, there was like a huge fan festival in LA. He went there. Yeah, he went. Right, I went. And it was 10 days long. And wow. Yeah, and it cost so much. He went there. Yeah, he went. Right, went. And it was 10 days long. Wow. And it cost so much. He went by himself.

He went by himself and it cost so much. And I remember when he got back, he didn't really want to talk about it. I think he knew he'd overstepped. I think he knew he was like, it's great to be a fan of a movie. Yeah. And it's even awesome to go to an event that's based on the movie You're a huge fan of like if you're into Manga and stuff go to Comic-Con. Sure Yeah, but after that you love yeah day two day three you're going

Okay, but if they were driving out to like car parks and stuff going on This is the scene, you know, this is the shopping center where the the time machine takes off but in the movie It's awesome. Yeah, because it's a movie but in real movie it's awesome because it's a movie. But in real life, it is a car park and a shopping center. And you would be sitting there going, I live 10,000 kilometers away from here. And this is day six and we haven't even done, haven't done the enchantment under the sea dance yet. That's the big finale.

I think he opted out of a few days. He just sort of stopped going, but it hasn't dampened his spirits because he was a good participant. Here's the thing though, to get the Back to the Future movies these days, and I was explaining to the kids like, you know, I used to work at a video store, you know, oh, dad, is that the photos of you when you ate all the Magnum Egos? Yeah, yeah. We don't recognize you. Yeah, well, no, that weren learned my lesson. But I was explaining to them, like, you know, this was like, this was a hot, this was a hot item still in video world. But now you, the only way that,

the only way you can get them is they're on Apple TV. Like you have to rent them. So you can't stream them. No streamer has it. No streamers got it. There's a few of those. There's a few. Spaceballs is another one you cannot get. There's a few of those. There's a few. Spaceballs is another one you cannot get. There's a few I reckon. Sorry to be so passionate. But I'm really in a bit of a... Spaceballs isn't really back to the future.

Oh, it's pretty essential. But there's a few movies and TV shows that have gone, that have shirked the streamers and think they can make more money from the pay. And I know this and you guys will laugh, but I'll say it anyway. I know this because that's what they did. No, not Mary Poppins. No, Lauren Ordis SUV. You're paying episode per episode. You have to pay.

You can't be. You can't get them. They're unlimited episodes. You've got to be the only one. Post season 25, they are only, you can only buy them. You're part of the problem, not the solution. It's because of people like you, they're like, guys, why would we make these available to stream for free?

We know, look at the data coming out of this patch of Melbourne. This alone is enough for us to stay. They can't get enough of this household. Now what we need is a hundred thousand of these people. We're an easy street for the rest of our lives. So in fact, the future, There's plenty of us out there. So he's back to the future. You should have an SVU convention where you go across to New York and look at where different blood splatters happened and stuff. Would you go?

Beck and I did walk to the courthouse. You would have of course. Yeah, Beck and I did walk to the courthouse to have a look at the stairs. Anyway, the thing about renting the movies, Back to the Future movies from Apple TV. 48 hours. 48 hours? Here's my question. As someone... Wait, I didn't even know that. So you rent it and they... Five bucks.

Of course you don't know it, mate. As if you're paying for something. You would never pay. This is the guy that still has never paid for an app. Or a golf ball. Yeah, he's never paid. In his entire life. If you rent a movie, which is like six bucks normally. I think it's $4.99, yeah. They bounce around.

There's ones that are coming back with a new release. It's funny, it's like new releases back in Blockbuster days, they're going to be cost more. But you've got 48 hours. But the other thing is they have gone for weeklies. The lower the grade film ham, you get longer. You get longer. We have to sometimes split it across a Saturday and a Sunday night if we start too late on

Saturday. But here's the thing, you get the alert on your phone going, oh, you've only got like five hours left to finish watching Back to the Future 2. And look, we're friends with Apple. I think everyone appreciates what Apple has done. We've all had interactions with their product. But they are a trillion dollar company. Yeah, give us six more hours.

Like, why are you riding me? You should go, you've got for five hours and 21 minutes to watch this movie. Otherwise we take it back. It's not a real movie. It's not like the video store. There's not another family that will miss out on seeing it. It's data. Like, why are you being such cheapskates for four bucks? You're making three thousand dollars a phone.

Hey, just go look, it has expired. We don't care. It's data. It doesn't mean it doesn't mean anything to us if you missed out on watching the last hour Well, that's what's so funny about the rent or buy I mean you don't go back to because you can rent them or buy them Jack so buying it cost as much as a DVD Yeah, and then you all you rent for the six bucks So do you buy law and order or do you rent buy you buy you buy you can't rent them You can't rent law and order it only has Loinora. It only has a buy.

And you can buy the season or buy per episode. You buy the season. You buy the season for the cost analysis. Lucky boy. But yeah, I mean just- So you could now rent those. Can you rent those out now? I should on rent them.

The 72 hours. That's generous. Exactly. Very generous. I should on rent them. And I'll... 72 hours. Oh, that's generous. Exactly. Very generous.