Hamish & Andy - Hamish & Andy 2018 Ep 4

Episode Date: March 21, 2018

1. Jock's skill audit 2. Hamish's debt 3. Podcast swearing rules 4. A small purchase from the joint account 5. Pete Helliar 6. Pranks of yesteryear

A LISTENUP PRODUCTION Activate your internet Cause the Hamish and the Podcast starts in 3, 2, sorry, still buffering. 1 Hola, Hola, Hola I did a great all-round you to do that I wanted it in the tone of a Hola, Hola, Hola

I mean it's kind of was Well I wanted it in the tone of a la la la la Yeah but that's, I mean Hola, Hola, Hola I suppose I'm looking for more festivity with a Spanish Spanish language Spanish, I mean, it's Spanish language. It's Spanish. I mean, obviously we're trying to replicate the British

poppy, constable, allo, allo, allo, allo, just in different countries. And alla, it always seemed so cheerful in Spanish or Mexico or something. It felt hard to go. I'd give you a B. OK, B. And that's a great base to build on, and as we charge into the rest of the year, but more specifically this episode. it felt hard to go. I'd give you a B. Okay B. And that's a great base to build on Android.

That was the challenge. Into the rest of the year, but more specifically this episode. Yes. Of the Amazon podcast. Welcome, thank you for being with us. Do we want to continue the different? Yeah, definitely.

You've got 7,000 languages. I would have thought with a weak break, you wouldn't pick one of the big five. Although you would have come back with Latin or one of the more remote dialects from the African continent. And that might have been one of the great things about working thought you would come back with Latin or one of the more remote dialects from the African continent. And that might have been one of the great things about working with you.

You never know. You never know, but in hindsight, you can spot an easy out. Ha ha ha ha. Hey, obviously we love everyone listening to the podcast. They're the most advanced form of listeners, because Pilly Digital, they know where it's at. We also very much like our valued and important podcast, our VIPs, they have been filling out

forms including special skills. If you want to be more involved in the podcast, that's how you get involved. We at first put this down, hoping it will give us a useful database of things, you know, traits, personality traits we might need to call upon. Very, very quickly it's captured our attention that people's skills are far more vast and deep than we could ever anticipate. This is a stunning one, and that we've come across. Fill it out at haymishnelly.com. A fellow by the name of Jock Lehman, he cites in his special skills, opening beer bottles with anything,

which was good. The second one is what really peaked our interest. If I see a movie three times, I can say the script from beginning to end. Now this is, he should have his own crime show. Yeah, it's like this is what we were talking about on last week's show, this is a low level X-man skill.

This is, he doesn't have a photographic memory, but jeez, you show him a photo three times. He will remember what to that photo. He's able to build up with three cracks, a complete construction of the whole script of a movie. Now script from start to finish. Obviously. Now obviously, Annie and I went what including

scene headings and locations, no, just the dialogue. Just the dialogue. But that is unbelievable. So we had someone reach out to him, we, you know, scene headings and locations, no, just the dialogue. But that is unbelievable. So we had so many times when we, you know, throughout the week and say, look, you know, you're just talking yourself up here, can you do it? It comes back with a list.

No, no, I can do this. It comes with a list of films that he knows so well that if we played him anything from, like, a bit of dialogue, from any section of the film, he reckoned he can pick up the dialogue and continue it. Ping a couple of the titles, Andy. Well, I mean, do you have any on hand? I hate him.

We put a lot of them into a song. Well, we do have a lot of them into a song, but there's even more than this in this song. Absolutely, but let's just hit the song. You could play him, not in Hill. A wedding crushes to test his skill. It could be dodgeball or far as gum, or the first four partners and he will not get stung. It could be Nemo or Poppons or Season Shriff 1 or Shr strike two. He knows the lines. He literally knows all the lines.

So he's his. And we get the time. We get the time to see if it's lies. So much time. We do have so much time and I just used that song to give me time to find the email It's like an app so I can list more of the films and that should be the unofficial title of the podcast so much time So much time so much time. We can do this all day We can get him to do our whole film for us and we sit back and eat popcorn and listen to the film So we listed a few in that song, but love actually Austin Powers and a music my fair lady a bugs life about a boy He goes everywhere.

He goes across. And what's interesting is he'll sometimes, he'll list the movie in its sequel. I'm pretty sure there's three Shrecks, but he only lists Shrek 1 and 2. Yes. He only lists the first four Harry Potter films. There's in fact eight, I believe.

So he knows what he likes. And he won't go and rewatch something, obviously, that he doesn't like. And he picks only the classics to memorize. Got comedy classics, you know, Groundhog Day. Perfect. But then he's also got miscongeniality of there. Fantastic.

I never know where he's going. I mean, Sandra, I love it. I'd love to see his recommended for your Netflix. A lot of bounce around. Yeah, he would be a hard one to profile digitally. Yeah, the Netflix people would, the Netflix people would think they've got the algorithm. The neighbors are in here stealing his account. Someone is piggybacking off his account.

A lot of people think Santa was awarded the Oscar for Blindside as one of those ones of like, where you should have got it from his engineering. But you can have it for Blindside. Anyway, he joins us now. Jock, you're in a different studio, but thanks for linking up. Oh, he boys, how you going? Oh, he's using the preferred greeting of the podcast.

And Jock, absolutely. And look, I don't know how the rights of all this sort of thing goes, but I'm playing that song as my wife walks down the aisle. Which one? Oh, that song. Oh, that was music. That was literally used music, but beautiful music to my ears. Oh, fantastic.

If we can speak on behalf of Total The Band, you may have that. Now, Jack, you're the first VIP to join us in a studio. Oh, boys, it's an honor. This is a big moment for you. And I hope you feel the weight of that occasion on your shoulders, because obviously when we read your email and then we got a clearer idea of your super power, we wanted to set up a test. Yeah, you're going to hear the scene. Yeah, going to stop. We know what comes next. The big question that everyone's lips is, do you? Now, you've listed Austin Powers. Let's start their hair. How do you feel, are you confident with an Austin Powers scene, John? Yeah, Austin Powers should be okay, I think.

I mean, it's full of quotable quotes. All right. Absolutely. Here we go, a scene from Austin Powers, it will stop, and then you have to pick up the dialogue, take it away, Jack. Who are these people? A shouting is a temporary side effect of the unfreezing process. So, do you want me to keep going from there?

Yeah, if you can. Yes, I'm having difficulty controlling the volume of my voice! Oh my god! And he literally went loud. On the word he goes loud on. I mean, he's got the powers deserves the best treatment. For people wondering whether he did have a listen. The shouting is a temporary side effect of the unfreezing process.

Yes, I'm having difficulty controlling the boy or my boy. Jack, slam dunk, straight out of the gates. We're starting with some easy ones. Let's go to the Lion King. The Lion King. Hey, if you're confident with Lion King. Oh, well, look, it's on the list.

I haven't seen it since I was probably about 11 or 12. Well, have a crack. Why'd you put's on the list. I haven't seen it since I was probably about a laver or 12, but have a crack. Why do you put it on the list? Well, because I just think maybe you were falling out with the idea of a long list. OK, good luck. All right. Hakuna Matata.

Hakuna Matata? Yeah, it's our motto. What's the motto? Nothing. What's the motto with you? Oh, it's our motto. What's a motto? Nothing, what's a motto would do? Oh, it's good. He's good! Again, the people listening that are angry with the selection here, these are softballs. Softballs, but these are softballs to get your eye in, but for confirmation?

What's a motto? What's a motto would you? Well done, we're going to have a joysy accent too. A joysy accent. Let's head from animated. Well, it's more Kiwi, I guess, whoops. To, to some doom carry. Wonders in Dhamma and Dhamma. Good luck.

I've got room for one more if you still wanna go to ask, but where did you find that? Okay, all right, just give me a second. I have to go over this in my head if that's all right. Yeah, all right. We'd love to hear a mouthful work Spread it some that straight some kid with for the van back in back in town I can get 20 miles to the gallon on this hug. It's not perfect, but I think it's almost there I'll listen. Let's have a listen Where did you find that? some kid back in town.

Treated the van for it's treat up. I can get 70 miles to the gallon on this hog. We gotta give it to him. Oh, I know. Pretty good. Okay. All right, getting harder. Getting harder.

Let's head to Forest Gov. Now, when our producer called you the other day and said I hate you know, do you want to have a chat on the podcast you were watching this film It should be fresh you were watching Forest Gump Now these are getting harder so obviously not gonna be boxy chocolates It's we've tried to find some dialogue. Deep cuts. Some deep cuts. Some album tracks.

Some stuff. Some stuff. Some stuff. Some stuff. Some single. That's just, you know, gluing together. The Masterpiece sings. Yeah.

Okay. Oh, you sneaky boys. Okay. What's your sole purpose in this army? To do whatever you tell, my drill sergeant? My god, Gump, that's the best ends where I've ever heard. You are some kind of goddamn genius, Gump. Oh, it's ever listen. I'm not going to tell you what I'm going to do. I'm not going to tell you what I'm going to do. I'm not going to tell you what I'm going to do. I'm not going to tell you what I'm going to do. I'm not going to tell you what I'm going to do.

I'm not going to tell you what I'm going to do. I'm not going to tell you what I'm going to do. I'm not going to tell you what I'm going to do. I'm not going to tell you what I'm going to do. I'm not going to tell you what I'm going to do. I'm not going to tell you what I'm going to do. I'm not going to tell you what I'm going to do. I'm not going to tell you what I'm going to do. I'm you got we got the he moments and the gist

well All right We've got one more. I mean it's been impressive. This is good This is a difficult one. Yes. What we want to see from people listing their special skills at the VIP list at camichanate.com We're gonna test you we're gonna audit your special skills. We love the idea of the skills audit. And basically, if this was an ATO audit, we'd be going, we've gone through the last four and a half

years of transactions, I can't fault you. You've lodged every single cash you've ever done. No one does that. You're a model citizen, you've paid your tax. We thank you, but half the government, we've got one more account to check. Exactly, this is not a Swiss bank account. This is now Is it a Swiss bank account? Or is it a dollar-mites account that's got all the T's cross

than the Isodotid? Famous, Hugh Grant, Julie Roberts Film, Notting Hill. Take it away. I absolutely, totally and utterly adore you. And I just think... You are the most beautiful woman in the world. And I genuinely believe, and I believe for some time now, that we could be best friends. What do you think?

Oh my God. Lucky me. Listen. And I just think you are the most beautiful woman in the world. And more importantly, I genuinely believe, and I believe for some time now, that we could be best friends. What do you think?

Unbelievable. It's incredible. It's amazing. That's like not even one of the lead characters doing it. You're incredible. Superman stopping in your clear missile from hitting met metropolis throwing the rocket out to the ocean ever going incredible suit man. And he was like, what's with saving cities of great city? Well, that's not the amazing thing.

You just throw money in Yuclea weapon over the horizon. I told my sister the other day that this was all happening and she said, oh tell them tell them about when we were driving up to Ganada. So a few years ago when I was on my yells, we were driving up to Ganada, which is where my family's from. Sure. And Miranda Kurt, no doubt you're right. Yeah, that's it.

He's scouting around. Charles has raimance. Look, she's gonna deny that. But no, the radio was broken, and so I was driving, and I rattled off the script to Notting Hill, because we didn't have any music to listen to, and you played out the whole film to your sister?

More or less, yeah, it's a good, I really, I love that movie. Chuck, are you tell? Yeah. Are you like getting that vibe? Are you aware? You know, there's a thing called the, I think it's called like the world's seed vault. It's in Norway, they buried it in the ice.

And like every seed for every plant or crop or whatever on planet earth is stored in the vault in case there's like a, a crazy arm again. And we've always got a bank, like a seed bank. Okay. We should lock you away somewhere. Just in case the internet goes down and we lose DVDs and we need someone to remember all the mankind's best romcoms and children's anime. Do I have a portable DVD with a with a yeah, yeah, you're a repertoire of he grant. I suppose if we're putting the discs in there with you, we don't need to lock you up for your life. I guess it's one of the piece of pervasky.

Well done, Jock. Fantastic. You passed the order, legend. Oh, a few. I was nervous. That's great. Hey, Jock, when we get the H&A coin, you're getting one. Yeah, absolutely.

Yeah, stay tuned. No worries. And a fresh off, what just happened with Jack? Incredible. And giving away our first coin. Also, we probably didn't celebrate as much as we should have. We're actually giving away our 17th each and eight coin. You've got an eight coin coin coming to you.

I'm going to make coin coming to me. Jack, you can have an eight coin coin. You've got to earn it. Or pay for it. Or pay for it. I definitely won't buy it, but I am interested in definitely get another one. Careful with the rules you play on it, because I think once you start seeing people enjoying

their 8-in-8 coin, you'll want one at all costs. When I see it being used like Target and... Does anyone use Bitcoin at Target? No, yes. Yeah, it is still worth between 10 and 15,000 dollars depending on what time of the day it is. Yep. And as we've stated on previous episodes, what would you buy with it at Target?

Yeah, what do you want? What do you need at Target at the moment? That's the first store that came to mind. You know, actually, happened in my head. I went, I thought of a store just to fill in any store and I thought of Kema. I was like, well, I don't want to do Kema. They'll make fun of me.

They'll shopping at Kema. And then I did target, which is sort of- And all of that happened so quickly. Again, inside the mind of a genius. How does he come up with his references? Yeah, I look forward to spending my coin at Tiffin' a rebel sport. I'm not coated Tiffany's.

Hey, yes, we gave it away. We gave it away. Look, we don't have any yet. They're on their way. I just wanted to make a click announcement. He's out there. This is for the third week, the row of... I bet you a one coin coin. Bet you.

Bet you a one coin coin. Yes. They'll be here by next week. Okay. So then you could be the largest coin holder. If I'm wrong. Great. But I don't, do I'm betting my coin back to you? Or you just bet it? It wrong, great. But I don't do my bedding by calling back to you,

or you just bedded cares man, we're in charge of it. I'm just giving to the coos if they like. Anyway, next, on next episode, we will have them in our hand, and we will enjoy feeling them and marveling at them. What I wanted to just ask you quickly was, as people know if they've been following the H&A coin saga, there's a few things printed on the coin. One of them is this coin equals one Bitcoin at all times. So that gives the H&A coin at

the moment quite a giant value. On the American dollar note, which is America's go at having a currency, they've done an H&A coin thing themselves, but they've got coins, they've got notes. They've been back to the whole catalog of, they've overcomplicated it, but they've got all these different ones. And on the US currency, have you ever seen printed it says, this notice legal tender for all debts public and private? Have you seen that printed on there? Same as JGOT?

I haven't noticed that. So it's like, it's just, it's just, it's just explaining what money is. Now would we have the same policy with our H&A coin, like to, you know, you can be used the same way for all debts public and private. Let's only go with public debt. Any private ones you can't settle. So if I make a debt public, I could settle it with H&A coin. No, I'm gonna say no. The only smelling a rat that, because it knows this

working, because I feel like you were dead. What, what did to you, I mean? I've only, I've owed you a debt for some weeks now. The Sophie Monk bit. Ah, yes. And I was wondering, sir, if I may settle up in a... Oh, my God. LAUGHTER

I'd like to settle next week. We don't you know, coin. No, well, we have to explore what the bet is. Okay. And then the bet was when you were into the bachelor's and when they got together, I was like, this is ridiculous. They're not, I bet you, Hamish, $1,000. They came on the radio show, hey, mecha thousand dollars

Like came on the radio show last year. Yeah, so from this to now I bet you a thousand dollars No one thought they were in love and I wasn't saying these guys are gonna get married It was more of a bit of how long Will they maintain this charade? Because I think Australia was smelling rats as well. Yeah, and there was rumors flying around and I know they're broken up Like I was like, no, no, no, we're in it. And they're like, all right, you've got to keep this up. You've said you're in love, you have to keep it up. Now I think you thought that they had like a six month

contract or a year contract or so. I said, I'd be surprised if, no, they'll break up privately, but they won't publicly go where split for six months. So the bet was laid. So any any you like, they're I'm gonna make the car park. I was like I we know they're not in love but you know how long are they gonna say they're in love for? So the bet was they had to have publicly separated. Yeah they had to publicly acknowledge it. I wrote the bet down it's in the calendar report which I've wanted you to send an R-cal appointment to me.

Hey Mission Andy Sophie Monk break up bet. bet. As of the 27th of July 2018. So missed it. Oh, so the other reason it came up is I was looking forward in the calendar. You know, you look forward, if you're on month, you would have a dot if something's on that date. And there's like nothing. You know, anything past the next few weeks,

there's nothing. I was like, what is this? I was like, oh, it's gonna be a regatta day or something. Like some public holiday in a state. And I clicked on it and I went, oh, damn it. Yes. And then it didn't have the amount in the title. I went, what was that for a hundred bucks?

That was worth a thousand dollars. In the description. What would we bet a thousand dollars more? That's the biggest bet I've ever made. So in the description, one thousand dollars bet that monk, I've actually written, and I think I'm into right hand. It bouts, void, void, void.

And Laundies, isn't it? Laundies have publicly centurated by this date. Andy is, yes, I mean, he is not. He made it so clear. So I saw that with a sinking heart the other day and went, cheese, there's nothing like, I mean, it's like looking at, it's like looking at a leasing ticket stub and it's going, well, I know what's happened.

I don't need to keep looking at this, but I wondered, you know, at the same time, I was really, she's on a thousand in the hole here. I'm about to get all of this crazy huge wealth with H&A coin. And one coin is worth 10 times that amount. I want to just probably be a smart move from you to allow me to settle the private door with public debt now.

I made it public. Yes. Settle that with a coin. Yeah, I'm going to say no. I'm going to say no. Do I use that bill? I'm going to use that bill. I'm going to use that bill.

I'm going to use that bill. I'm going to use that bill. I'm going to use that bill? I've got something to ask of Jack and Hamish here. You've come to the right place. We have both here. I've got a story that I wanted to tell on the podcast. You may tell it. Thank you for asking. It only works if I use a swear word.

All right. Oh, what are the rules now? I think that's my... Well, this is always going to happen. You know what the rules are? That's my question. We can do a shit in a dick. What? We can...

It's separate like we can actually do. We can do a shit. We can, you can't really do a dick. We can draw one. Anyway, just... Before you just saying, saying, say, yes, we heard, we heard, we heard, we said. well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, I'm going to try to try podcasting probably. And do we want to alienate them? Well, I'll get a bit of a warning then. A bit of a retrospective warning.

I said a few bad words. You said yes in a day before. Basically. I won't try not to go back to the bucket full of days and essays and throw them around willy-milly. It more for the cleaners than anything else. But what I was going to say is like anything above that level, we then have to put a little e next to our podcast and it becomes an explicit podcast.

Right. And do we, if we do an e, we have one episode that's an explicit podcast, I would have thought we'd have a huge run up to it and it would be like a global event. Okay. Well, the thing is, I need to use an F. You have to use an F though? I have to, for the story, I need, and that's why I say I'm not just trying to throw it out

for effect, it's like for the story, it relies on an F. And I thought the way around it would be like, do we perhaps, do I perhaps tell a story at the end of the podcast? So if a family's in cars and etc. We go to them, hey guys, switch this one off now. You can listen when you're 20 years old. When your kids have your own kids, then you can listen when your mum is in Daddy's. But if we're not ready to have the little E with a box around it, just such a huge jump to make, isn't it?

It is, isn't it? Not a event that we could beep it, or does it lose value to the story? Good question. You could say to us, everyone knows what you're saying, but we're just gonna try and get around having the E. What I don't want people to do is go, oh, I'm a shandy of Donald Podcast,

they're a bit late to it. They look at they go right four episodes. Okay, so, gee, they're swearing by episode four, are they? Yeah, okay. We'll spell off quickly. Because that's what that A says to people. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he's lost it.

I think, well, you're the one throwing the bucket around the S&Ds. Yeah, I was told to clean it, that's what I was told to put the lid on my bucket. I think I could we beep it? Because then we could build up, then we could have, like why don't we do a special show later in the year, we build up to the e, a special like the e-mail show.

Do you want me to save the story for the black label show? Oh, Jesus, big run up, is it good? Now puts pressure on the story to be good. Right now, if I was you, I'd tell the story immediately. Because the longer we talk about this, the more the pressure is building. Without an F. Or the beep. With a beep.

Right now, you're standing there, you know, asking the crowd to clap at the Olympics. And behind you, the officials are moving the bar on the high jump up, like 5cm, 5cm, 5cm. And you're like, come on everybody, I'll see you, I'll see you, I'll see you. And you're going to turn around and it's a six meter bar Hi jump your for high job. Okay, it was a pole vault pole, peace of cake, but I said hi jump Six meters is no easy case of cake on pole, okay, not hard. Should we be should we be And he's gonna talk you many language now. We're having an argument over what's a world record hype for Paul Vold. Six metres.

I thought the world record was summer in the 5th. I thought it would be a 10 metres. I thought, don't think they're doing 10 metres. After high thought. Yeah, because I thought at the baddest huge eat. Yeah, I know mate. I thought at the Institute of Sport one of the funny things to do if you're a pole holder is run into the pool where they're practicing the diving and pole vault right up and just land, just make it up onto the platform.

6.16. That's the reward record. Well that's what you've got a high job. Yeah, I know. Anyway, okay I'll tell it and we'll beat. Okay. Now we're at the end of the podcast. Right now.

Okay, good luck. Thank you. Do you need me anymore? No, except for the beep. Yes, okay so Back in I Feel the pressure Mealy my head went bangin' out we had a half an hour so I got with You didn't need to use it. Just tasteful. Now save it, save it for our explicit show. Save it, save it.

Save it, save it, save the bar. Drop it down now over the next month. This is it. And I promise you guys a treat and as always I will deliver now. Okay, the treats are plenty. I can never promise you a treat that I can't deliver. Now, you'll promise what you perceived to be a treat. We have already established on the show that the H&A coin is still on its way, but I say again, because every coin we minted is worth one bit coin. We are sitting on about $3 million worth of coins.

Or we're not. Some are not here. Some are being shipped under Armageddon, under Fierce Armageddon security. So I was sitting there during the week going, okay, when we started the year, we didn't have much left in the joint account. But now, sure, there's not much more on the joint account, but we've got all this analog currency on its way, and we're gonna be completely rolling in it.

Isn't it time to celebrate? So I decided to grab the old joint account and purchase a little something, little preemptive celebration if I may. Something I saw on the internet this week, just so I was having this thought going, how can I treat the boys? Okay.

I am, and I'm racking my brains. Then I see this thing come up online and went, yep, that is exactly how I treat the boys. Coming into the studio now is a delicious and refreshing, having a crazy and and I just bought us a few bottles of water. What's the big deal, I say to you? I mean, it is, oh gee, that's nice water.

It comes in its own tin. You got svalbardy water, and I, is the world's purest water. It's from an iceberg. It's from an iceberg. Just off the coast of Norway, let me just give you a polar iceberg water, bottled in long-yubin. How much is that cost?

It's called the Taste of Snow in air. I don't know if you've ever tasted that, but Moga, I have, and that's delicious. So here we go, just 750 mils. Right near the North Pole. Yeah, but how much did that cast come for? Before we open it. It comes with a little slip in here.

They'd recommend you have it slightly chilled. So I guess like a normal water. It's pleasingly cool with a flavor enhancing taste and mouth-hailing. We recommend that you have it chilled. It's pleasingly cool. Yeah, that's because we chilled it. Yeah. Look, you can do that for any drinks. This is how to enjoy the water. I know. It comes bleedingly cool. Yeah, that's because we chilled it. Yeah, look, you can do that for any

do this is how to enjoy the water comes asleep. But we direct you from the sun. You can say chill it and then goes it's pleasantly cool because it's the chilling that cool it. Yeah, well it might also be for some sort of molecular thing too. If you do serve it, it provides maximum taste in the mouth-field differentiation versus a warmer temperature. It's basically, yeah, they're saying it's because it's just a thousand kilometres from the North Pole is where the iceberg water comes from. It's got a light as air taste and a velvet smooth mouth-field. So get ready to enjoy. Well, before we open it, how much did it cost? Can you put a price on the most exclusive order in the world? This bottle is one from a limited edition of only 13,000 bottles ever made.

How much? Because we're not going to open it too much. Do you want to hear the back? A little bit more. No, I don't want to hear the back. It's pristine ice locked up for as much as 4,000 years. It's precious to date, fellas, snow, water, and capture. Melton, it's not water. That's what they're trying to say. It's fell body. And bottled during it's brief few months of life before it melts away forever. The ultimate in epicurion water.

Swell body. It brings you the taste experience of ancient snow in air. They like that line. How can it be in air? I don't know. That's just what the taste they're going for. Well, you know, like I had an air freshener once that literally the scent of the air freshener was cupcake with icing.

And I went, come on. What put icing, you know, just say cupcake, spray it and bugger me. You can smell the icing. You actually can smell the vanilla icing. So it does help to describe exactly what tastes and smells are. So it's the taste of snow in here. Snowy water form. See, what's that?

It's actually the three states of water. So like snow, snow by falling. This tastes like snow falling. This tastes like pure North Pole glacian snow. How long? How much? You mean how long till we taste it? No, you've ocean.

Right now, Sarah, as I open up, bottle number one, remembering we have two. I'm taking away bottle number two, just in case these are nice, clean open. Yep. Mind if I sample the goods? Well, how much? How much did it cost? I mean, that is nice. That is the taste of snowy.

Yeah. Yeah, let me pour you a glass. My worrying Warren, how much old frugal for ed? Don't worry, it's already paid for. I'm not saying. They didn't give it. Trust me, if you, you have much it cost for. They wouldn't be giving us this water on spec. How is it, Annie? It tastes like water. It tastes exactly like water. Can I have some? Snow in it? No, it doesn't. Check out some. You wouldn't be able to pick a lineup. I could

line up. I'll line up Spas Mardi or whatever the hell it's called. What's it called? Spelbardi. Spelbas, not Spas Mardi. Okay, gorgeous isn't it,? Spell Bari. Spell Bari's not SMASMARTY. Okay, gorgeous isn't it Jacko? Cheers boys. Spell Bari, you would not. You will not. You will not. Jack, what are you saying?

He's so pleasantly calling. But he, Jack's at his own mental tectonic plates here. He's having world collide because he hates excess, and he hates the elite, yet he loves free shit. So, Jack's like, what do I do? It's only about 150 bucks a bottle. This is pretty. It's more expensive than Bollinger's champagne.

We will do, cheers, guys. We will run a test next week. What do you reckon, Jack? You gave us a generous amount, if it's that expensive. Thank you. We'll run a test check. Thank you, it's all team all line up. I'll line up. Well, we got Pete Helling coming in next. Do you want to do you want to play with Pete Helling? Okay, we'll line up four waters. Yep. And Kenny picks Fowlbadi. Kenny Fowlbadi. Yes.

That was the most expensive water. And I'd also like to shoot with you guys permission. Our slomar of us flicking drops on each other because it's probably about a dollar a meal. So just like, you know, just as flicking bits in each other going. Like their dollar coins, that making it rain on each other. Okay. Wait, finish these whole glass. Wait a sticky boy.

Wait a sticky boy. Wait a sticky boy. Wait a sticky boy. Wait a sticky boy. Wait a sticky boy. Wait a sticky boy. Wait a sticky boy. Wait a sticky boy.

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You're our first live guest. Is that right? The podcast. Yeah, I was running like, today, as you know, as you know. But there was a part of me, it was like, it's not like, and I was sitting, it's a text message, isn't it? Like, yeah, it's a joke. But I was like, you guys are probably kind of at the forefront

of like, somehow making podcasts live or something. Well, we weren't going to mention it, because of course, if people listen to the podcast, they just hear a ding something. Well, we weren't going to mention it because, of course, to people who listen to the podcast, they just hear a ding, then like a, you know, then like a, a sound effect. And so it would appear that you just sort of stepped on, but yes, we waited for some time. You know what I'm saying?

And then, Andy, I was like, this is actually the evidence of people's mentality, so we're doing a live radio show. Like, you know, when we do this for a live radio show. No, it would ever be late to radio. I've never even heard of Atme and guess missing it. Like in our 12 years of doing radio, you never had a live radio show. Like, no one would do this for a live radio. No, it's never been late to radio. I've never even heard of AteNi and guests missing it. Like in our 12 years of doing radio, you never had a guest be late. Podcasts?

He's like, oh, it's just a podcast. I might get it when I get this. I might come tomorrow, guys. I assume you'll be hanging around. We do it on the phone. Peter Helier, obviously, people have seen you on the project. Go on low, you know I'm in a last year,

but you've got the comedy festival coming up. Big boy pants, check out the details for comedyfestival.com.au and also Frankie Fish in the Great Wall of Chaos, your new book. Yeah. How long does it take to write? These are young novels, we should point out.

Yeah, and you say kids, but this is not just pictures. You know, you actually take a bit of time. How many pages in a, you know, I think it's a good question. It's about 30,000 words So it's a proper how many words is that's a lot open this book? Oh About 150 And it could have texted it to the publisher Paint be honest. I shouldn't you write in word or whatever yeah, how often do you check the work and go?

Oh, geez. I know it's him. I do usually around the halfway point. Okay, I'm just going to have to... Do you mentally go, I better make 20,000? Or 14,000? Oh, my God, that was a really easy log word. Yeah, no, you do find yourself a little bit disappointed. Sometimes, oh, my God.

Speaking of the end of the game, can we increase the margins? Yeah, we're going to double-racing. What do you know? Autobiographies have that cool photo section in the middle. What did it, I just think a few photos of me writing the book and we can pat it out. Can we increase the margins? Well, do you kind of, how was your writing day like?

Do you reward yourself to go, okay, if I do 10 pages, I get to have a cookie or I get to watch TV or something. Do you need to eat? No, I had the cookie with that before I started. That's it. You did the horse gets to eat out of the chat for the week for the votes bag, and then he has to run the race. I mean, what you're asking about,

and what you're almost describing, is the ideal life of a writer. I probably think you're a man of a swimming way. Not you sitting in your own knees, eating cereal, putting bets on the horse race, sitting on TV and banging out a few pages. I'm pretty sure Hemingway wrote in his undies. But what I, because of Hemingway, he wasn't working on the pro-object

and doing life stand up. If you just tune into the podcast feeder, he is saying he's better than me. Just slamming Hemingway. Don't get me started on Oscar Wilde. I mean, too many quips, not enough books. So, I mean, the ideal, the dream, was to be able to go to Italy for six months and do it right

and looking over a vineyard, but I tend to write when I get the opportunity, when I, you know, often I come home from doing the project and I, we're up for three hours when I get home because that's the opportunity I have. So it's a window. Yeah, it's the window. So I do that and it's more disciplined than recreation.

How do you get the time then to put together a stage show for, you know, obviously stand up and even going out and doing shots? Yeah, it's very good at compartmentalizing. I've gotten good at it, I used to be horrible. And, but I will, it's something, the thing about live show is that I knew on February the 1st this year, I was going to stay in front of 700 people

at the Heath Ledger Theatre in Perth, and that lights a fire. Yeah, I'm a huge fan of that. He's a wonderful motor, I hope. Like a publisher can kind of, you know, push back a deadline by a week, you know, and the project I can just make sure there's plenty of YouTube clips for me to throw to. But it's not really gonna cut it

if you stand up in front of it. We go, look, show's only 20-10 minutes. But I can show what I have been working on. Chapter seven. I've got some Frankie. Was worried. I've got some nice ideas for routines. This is where I'm kind of thinking this show might end up.

There is a few of my notes from my phone that were scraps. Well Pete, look, talking about the project, you got a lot of you nominated last year. You probably got to have an inkling. It's not going to happen again this year. Because you got lease on the day. You got Carrie and Marley very worthy. You got lease who's going to get a nod.

I mean, they're not going to get four people nominated, are they? No, no, they're not. The window's closed, I don't know. The window is firmly shut. It's been painted shut. It's Tommy Little, the sun days. He's probably there with a chance to leave him at us Friday. You know, there's Steve Price probably

getting nominated Friday. With all due respect to Toby and Leapow, if they are gold logologging winners this year, that would be incredible. That's back. Well, because of the way the nominations are, I'm not really completely across, but it's been described to me that there are some shows

and people who have been nominated, who aren't on air yet. Like there's a lot of... Rose movie show is nominated. Or is nominated to be nominated. Yeah. So they came out the other week. It's probably about two weeks ago. How can it be nominated to be nominated now and now?

Well, I read that clickbait, got sucked in. And you can't actually look at who's nominated to be nominated without having to vote your way through it. Right. So you voted. Well, I'm voting for Annie, I've filled out the forms up, but then you get to the end and they go, right, what's your name, what's your address?

And I voted for true story. Yes. And I was like, no, we didn't. I was like, how's it going? I was still weird about this being on record. I'm voting for myself. So I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was feeling weird about this being on record. I'm voting for myself. So I chickened out and I closed the window. I voted for myself, Lazy.

I only had to go through the process because I get the one again asked about, you know, like who you're up against and then how does it work? Maybe I really got to go with the purpose. You could have voted for someone else. No, no, but I once I was there, having said that, I'm gonna throw one Tommy Little's wife. I voted for me and I voted for the shows that I knew wouldn't win

out of the other project. But yeah, but there was also, I think there's a night in the evening. I don't know how it works. But there's a night that's actually two, won't be on air. She's nominated to be nominated, but she won't be on air until week before the loggies.

She could win best at best. Most popular actress or best actor. Just thinking about it, Tommy Little is a chance on the Gold Coast this year. They'll give it to a guy with a tat sleeve. It's the Gold Coast loggies. I could give it to Pete. Why it could be given at the time of the little. Comedyfestful.com.au for Pete's show, Big Boy Pants, but Pete, you stumbled into what was a fight between Hamish and I. We have a joint to go. I was listening on the way. Usually that lie works. I actually caught

myself going, oh thanks man. But what is his follow? No, nothing about. Well, Ham, we have a joint account. Hamish tends to spend from it willy-neally, I've not asked me, I'd pay our taxes and things like that. Not anymore, you don't? Because I'm draining it more. Because there's a podcast now I said, can you just keep a little lid? Yeah. It's not radio. Think about the electric curricula purchases.

Think about leases. For anyone that's put a lid on a drink as a planes landing and there's a pressure differential, not all lids hold, perfect. For anyone that's had a pop top juice in their handbag that's been a mum. Not all lids hold. So that's unfortunate what have the lids I put on our joint account and some money leaked out and I was able to treat the boys, Pete.

Treat the boys, well, I saw about. Treat the fellas today. Got them a bottle of foul butter, got two bottles of foul butter. Foul butter, iceburg water. Iceburg water, it's the most, treat the fellas today. Got him a bottle of fel butter, got two bottles of fel butter. Fel butter, iceberg water. Iceberg water, it's the most expensive water in the world. Cosmol the volunteer. Yeah. Oh, I actually thought somebody had given you whiskey

or it was like a vodka. Yeah, it comes in like a Glendific sleeve. It's not even sparkling. It's still water. That would disturb the purity, and you'd have to get air then from like the stratosphere to carbonate it with you when't use earth air. I have lined up. Can I say and a jackpiling this out before turn I think it's worth mentioning. He's got, he notices got the fine water society seal of approval.

Establish 2000. You know it's good stuff. What a hoot. I wish I was at the air cruise. It must have been a big day when I stand that baby. Guys is this Fiji. I'm so sorry we we didn't have any small party. Then underneath it's going to the stamp going, certified carbon neutral company. I question that. I mean, we're in Australia drinking iceberg water that you've driven a boat to an iceberg,

you've melted it down, then shipped a bottle to the other pole of the planet. Are you telling me it's carbon neutral? I respect your endeavors, but I call foul on the neutrality of the water. Here is the game though. I've set up four glasses, different varieties of water. I'd love you and Hamish to work through them. Easy, peasy.

And then, because Pete, because you're a bit late, during that sort of 15, 20 minute interval, I've finished one of our bottles. I've got some bad use to you, Andy. I've got a taste of Cell Buddy now. And I probably drink it every show. We actually made a film clip on the rooftop to the tune of We Like to Party.

We like Cell Buddy. I don't think you've got a taste of it, because I don't think you can taste the difference. So start with number one, guys. Have a little bit of a swizzle that. Okay. Sniffing it. Hmm.

That's not so bad, buddy. No sir. I wouldn't think so. Guys, that was a little bad. That's too warm. That's too warm. You've served that too warm. If I haven't, I should.

We let it heat up. You've let it. Is it really? Yeah. We don't have to go through the rest. That's not the taste of snow, eh? No, it's not. That was it.

And this. I got the nice ones for a party. Yeah, no, it's not. Because number one was the one that you said wasn't. Number two, that's not for a party. Let's try number four. No, that's a tap water. Number one was for a partyy. Now, now that I'm out of my taste buds and my palate is used to water. We're not getting any more of that.

I'm trying to sell this one on eBay. Pete, thanks for coming in. That's so cool. Comedyfestworld.com that he's a big boys fans. And also, Frankie Fish and the Great Wall of Chaos. Thanks very much for your practice. You're giving away bottles of Sphilbatti at the end of the year. Absolutely free.

Look under your seats when you get there. Hey, before we go this week, we were filming a couple of weeks back at my old school for true story, which it will be back out later on the year, everybody. People might have seen on our social pipes where I found some graffiti at the school. You were graffiti by school. That's easy for you to say. And you're very positive about the proof. No, it's not. It's you went to Graffiti by school. That's easy for you to say. And you went by, so I want to prove. No, it's not.

It's very obvious that it's your handwriting. Well, I think it's a pretty big coincidence that the one toilet I happen to walk into is Graffiti by you and you're blaming me. Yep. Okay. So I was saying that I've realised. Some people may say that proves your point, not mine. But no, if you look at the show notes for the podcast,

which we never had, but I hear people say it on other podcasts. If you look at the show notes, I'm completely vindicated. LAUGHTER Anyway, a teacher, an old teacher of mine, David Byrne, Mr Byrne, came in, and he was, he's the used to play the organ for us at assembly whenever we're doing group songs and you went to school at Salenitz. Yes I did. And we had an organ at our school. Yeah and it was played by Mr. Poros. Yeah Graham but Mayas will be. Yeah. No idea what he's supposed to be.

Well Graham Poros. The thing was Hamish said this, Hamish goes, oh yeah we had an organ at our school, he said this, how he goes, oh yeah, we had an organist at our school, Mr. Parot and David goes, oh, Graham. Yeah. Oh yeah, I know, I know Graham. Because they're all mates. All the organist's are buddies. That was a surprise for us.

Yeah. And then when you think it through, you go, I suppose, of course. You're gonna have a mingle with your buddies. With your organ buddies. And then Mr. Burn goes to me. In fact, Mr. Pratt, well, he was saying Graham, I think he's known as... He goes, Graham was actually at my school back in the day.

And... Is he above me and duck, gosh, he pulled a hell of a prank on the last day of school. I was like, oh, what was that? He said he was on the organ at assembly. And he was playing for all the students. And he had to play the traditional music as the teachers at assembly. He was playing for all the students and he had to play the traditional music as the teachers walked in and as the teachers walked in he played here comes the bride instead of the traditional music and it was hilarious You actually lost these pre-fiction. So you lost Mad Dog. Mad Dog.

Mad Dog. Mad Dog. Mad Dog. It was dropping musical bombshells from the organ. And absolutely, we're asing the teachers. And you know, it was one of those stories where someone's telling you something was wild and you're waiting, you realize the wild bits happened. And then you have to be like,

oh my goodness. Oh my goodness. That would have sent ripples where the organ community. The teachers must have been pulling their hair out. It's so offended. So anyway, it appeared to us that maybe because schools were so strict back then,

like one, it's like a P.O. war camp, sort of like, you know, well, I wore shoes and you're not meant to. You know, and the guards hated it. It's sort of like one little bit outside the rules. And it's suddenly like, that's the greatest prank of all time. Because we're talking, these are old blokes now. And they're still absolute maniacs on the organ. And if you get a chance to hire a mishoo, it's like they are. They can tear it apart.

So a lot of respect for what they can do on the pipes and the keys, but I guess we're talking high school in the 60s? Yeah, 60s or 60s. We wanted to put it out, two podcasts as listening to this episode. Hit us up, go to hamishan.com, find the form, find the contact form.

Prank's of yesterday. Ask your parents, ask your owners. They never hold up. What was the wildest prank that they did at school? It's so underwhelming. This. It's just something wonderful about them. Because you have to listen to them as kids going,

oh my god, like someone blew up a car last year at our school. Yeah, it's like, your prank is like, you know, we replaced a shelling in the throttney box. Oh, I don't know.. We took a spoke of it. I don't think it's a thing. Thrupney is a thing. Oh, he knows man.

The pranks of you see, just never. Yeah, you know, if you've got a lane prank from your st. We were going to put horseshoes on the Clyde style and we played, we threw horseshoes at a stick for a while before we put the horses on. Something like that. It's usually the prank of USDA. Here is over the EML for, we'd love to build a companion of the pranks of USDA. Please add any power moves that you come across.

Power moves were continuing to compile the list of power moves as well as the other EML project we have on the go. We'll see you next week. Many thanks. See you next week. Listener!