Hamish & Andy - Hamish & Andy 2019 Ep 54

Episode Date: May 29, 2019

1. Window Wow2. Power Moves3. Andy’s photo4. A game of happenstance5. Sentences Special skill6. Hand dryers7. Hamish’s Big Closer

A least-knock production. Activate your internet. Cause the Haymission and the Podcast starts in 3, 2, sorry, still buffering. 1. A hoi to everybody! What do you have? What do you have, Jacko? Uh, never use the preferred greeting.

You know what happened? It used to be the third telephonic greeting. But we're doing it in real life. You can see this. Yeah, I missed it one week and then you accused me of not doing it. And so now I do like a petulant teenager just like, oh, it always has been. Rebellion against the man. Always have been.

You can continue to rage against him machine, but as always, when we're on commercial radio, he made a career at a making anti-commercial radio memes. Yeah. Now we're here, he decided to take a stand against using the catchphrases of the show. You just don't like conforming, do you, Jack? Yeah, that's true. I don't want

to be peeped put in a little box where you know what I'm going to do at every move. And weirdly, we do sometimes save money, get things for free, and your whole job is inside a box. Have you noticed to do things correctly at every point? At every little move. A hoi-toe guy who reached out to tell us what he's up to today. A hoi boys! What am I doing today? Well, today I'm relaxing with my absolutely gorgeous partner who I emailed you about over the past few weeks asking for help. Luckily, she said. Yes.

So, yeah, I proposed yesterday and now we're just enjoying our engagement. Loving the show guys, keep it up. Bye. That is lovely, congratulations. Congratulations. I did wonder if we still come up looking like good guys because he is having a Loving the show guys, keep it up. Bye. That is lovely, congratulations. I did. I wonder if we still come up looking like good guys, because he is having a go at us, but not answering, I mean, I haven't seen him,

but he's obviously email going in, you help me propose. He's heard nothing back. Give us a bit more lead time. He's then submitted it, can point in the form of helping out the show, because we do like to have messages from people at the start and it is very difficult to send one in because it's not a WhatsApp.

No, it's very easy. It'll attach a sound file. Sound file at the website. Yeah, search files, browse. Boring. I think we still look like good guys because we played the message. No, I mean, I think we look like bad guys

but I respect the fact that you can complain in... You're a greeting message, don't I? I think I'm so high. Um, hey, um, another thing came to hand, um, which I, uh, was alerted to me by a fellow called Matt on the email, fell to my side of the fence. Um, and thanks for all your emails. Go to hammershowie.com, you hit the contact form. Yeah. Um, I was pondering, I'm sure Jack, you've been thinking the same thing of light. You've been wondering how the window well is going, him.

What's that? My window well. Yeah. Really good. Yeah, right. I've been enjoying it. Yeah. Yeah.

I'm not using it every day. Okay, okay. Well, let me cast your mind back three years ago when this came up on the show Here's what I bought on the weekend. Yeah, the window wow What's the window well? It's an absolutely Revolutionary window washer Italian made silicon rubber Italian made and See I don't think the Italians are gonna take any shortcuts and Wipes it down perfectly You're laughing at this, but I reckon if I bought the window where I ran into your house,

you would legitimately say the words, Window wow. Okay. Can we set in a reminder out there? Mate, I'll come back to you. Do you know what? November? Mate, come back to me. If you're still using the window where I'm at.

Come back to me in 10 years, I'll just have to be using it. I'm not going by. It might be through to my second complimentary one, because it's worn down the Italian Made Silicon. Yeah. I know where it is. She's still getting a hell of a lot of years out of the window where I'm at. Absolutely. still getting a hell of a lot of use out of the window. Oh, absolutely. At our house, we live in quite a fortunate angle,

that quite a lot of stormwater, like our house is kind of self-washing. A lot of it, a lot of the windows, from where we live, it was built quite cleverly. Oh, I've definitely seen dust on your windows. Oh, you wouldn't have. You wouldn't have. You might have seen, it might be cocoa,

because we've been baking that day. It hurts me that you've made another bold claim that turns out for 10 years ago, it kind of makes me feel like, I've got time for it to kind of like charge back. No, but you were saying you're using it constantly for 10 years. It wasn't enjoyable the first few times.

I mean, it just hurt me, it hurt Jack as well, that you made another claim and it forced me to song. A long, long time ago, Hey Mr. Cleared with Gusto, I'll use the window well for the next decade. Not every day. I knew that this fat wood pass That a paid cleaner would end up doing the task

Ain't forget about the bold claim that he made It now gathers dust with his other fads A high pressure hose and a cowboy hat It lies they're all confused Wondering if it'll ever be used Your wife confirmed things when I called A conversation I did record Hello. Hey Zo, how are you?

Hi, good, how are you? Couple of quick questions, and sorry to bother you. Um... Does Hamish wash the windows at your house? Yes. Does he wash the windows? Yes. He does not wash the windows at your house? Yes. Does he wash the windows? Yes. He does not wash the windows.

No, I didn't think so. Have you ever seen him use a product called the Window Well? I don't know what that is. I don't think that he did. Well, he said that he bought it three years ago and on the show three years ago said he'll use it relentlessly for the next decade. And I just wanted to double check whether it's no. No. No. It would be handy though, there's a lot of grubby fingerprints there that need removing.

But, but, um, but Haymes not doing that. So what's the Haymes doing? He's not doing that. No. Okay. Thanks. Start it by the way. Really appreciate it. 5. 5. I can't say I'm shocked but I am a pulled. No. I had another. What? Hey, Mish, Blake, lie.

So, bye, bye to the window, well guy. You made a pledge but you re-ged enough to make us all cry. No. It got the same amount of attention as the expensive bonsai. Oh, that was bad. You had water that and it died. Crisp, and ended up crispy. It's just another heinish, black life.

In our defense, who's out? Me and John and Haydoh who used to live with, that was a team bonsai. That death is on everyone's hands, both the bonsais. The death of the window well. The death of the window well, well there's shelving of the window wells on my hands. It does require more assembly than the ad leaves you to believe, so quite often you'll find yourself with better things to do, window well. But the bonsai, you know, first one we killed with too much water. So then we went, oh okay, the message received, backed it right off and turns out there's a heavy medium.

So yeah, the bonsai, both bonsais, that was, that's on us. One third or two thirds of a death each of two bonsais. Window well, it's not over. we're only three years into the journey you make another claim I predict in the next three years we'll see a resurgence of window wowing what a good calendar appointment 2022 Hey, it's time for this. And, uh, Office Power Move, mate. Could be in our future one day, you never know. You got your degree.

It's gonna be you easily. I just forget about you. Oh, it's a good low level job. All you need is an old phone, this office permit. A blank set of keys. So I guess you have to go and get a fresh set or just some keys that are blank. Oh, sorry, I was in like car keys.

No, any keys, yeah, yeah, yeah, house keys. But they don't, they have to be of no value to you. I can show some old ones that you're following around. So a bit of preparation involved in the permit. A coffee mug and a coffee mug warmer. It should say, it's comes in from Spencer and it looks like for me, so many of my memories American because we don't really do coffee mug warmers here.

I looked them up, it's like a little mat on your desk that you leave your mug on. Okay. So your coffee doesn't go cold. Kind of an American thing. Before leaving at the end of the day, you leave your old phone, your blank set of keys on the desk

and your coffee mug on the mug warmer plugged in. Okay. Over night. So when your boss leaves, he thinks you're there in the building. Working out or she thinks you're there in the building. Working late. Oh, G. Spencer Cileys mug.

Is there's that old trusty mug, steam and hot? Keys. Keys in the phone. So best case scenario, your boss thinks you're working like worst case scenario, but leaving the coffee work mug warmer plugged in all night, you burn the office clean to the ground and you get a couple of months off work. Boys, absolutely no downside. We are looking for the definitive list of power moves, which can give you the upper hand or anyone in different situations. Chloe Bucston came in with one, which I like, says, bring up a memory with someone, knowing it's them in the story.

But say at the top, I forget who I was with when this happened. But this thing happened. That's pretty funny. They will have to convince you that they were them and it's there by this story. And when you go, I just don't remember you. So we likely going, God, I went to a combine harvest of demolition Derby once in America, was in Washington. So come over here as we for we We did that together. We filled it for the TV. Yeah, right. No, I remember going as a very funny day Lots of it's what I took a guy called Jim. He was an American government. I was with an Aussie, but I don't remember it It's really good and oh

This isn't going in the book. I don't believe it's that good, okay, but it's an audacious one by Jim Nugent But I'll read it here because I liked the audacity of it and gave me a Google. Guys, what question does on that? Of everyone we've said, are we assuming they're all going to book, are we going to go through? I think we do some sort of weekend selection process by which I mean some sort of intense scenario where we're strolling around the room, having it be yelling in or out, because the intense Yeah, okay, that's the intense of doesle of the logging. Yep. If by chance you're around,

when your mate proposes to his girlfriend, okay? Immediately, propose to your girlfriend a few moments after that. This is where my eyebrows raised. All the attention turns off them and will turn to you and your new fiance, leaving them with just a few seconds attention. Oh my god, I don't know if this is cracker.

Any finishes by going, in my books it's one of the strongest power moves that I'm going to last the lifetime. Yeah, generous jack to play the power cord sound effect there. I mean it's a huge all in for a to cut to really you're not even you're not gaining that much You just really cutting someone else's moment short. Yes. Yes. Um, what's up there? Michelle Schnell. Sorry Mary Schnell. Oh First version. No, it didn't marry you go great. No Pound move when leaving a room after a conversation with someone turn the lights off behind you even if they're in there

conversation with someone. Turn the lights off behind you, even if they're in there. We haven't had that enough to be honest. Turning lights off in any situation is a power move. My wife can control the lights in our bedroom from her side of the bed, right? And if we're both reading in bed and she finishes reading, she will often turn off all the lights leaving me with an open book in the dark and it isn't there. Ando, last but not least, yeah, this again, you're going to go through it here. I'm going to chart your trajectory through this, your emotional trajectory because this

is mine, I was like, no, no, that's not a power movement. I went, you know what it is. And it can go in, right? Dan Morgan, boys, when coming home late from a night out on the source, strip down to your underwear, then walk backwards up the stairs. If you wait your wife, just say you were heading down. Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Down to get supporters. For all she knows, you've been asleep for hours. So I thought I've watched you down at ease, aren't these? Hamid walking backwards up the stairs, waiting for any moment for the light to come on for him to start walking forwards. It's gonna go in. It will never be used successfully, but it's gonna go. Oh yeah. And it's coming from Tom and Tom's show lately but you're involved in some procedures, some back passage procedures. A little bit of maintenance.

There was an issue last year. You can just get him tired of it up to make sure she's all peaches. Literally, like the emoji peach we've been using from time to time to signify a bump. But everything's going fine, which is good. Can I just bring something up there for the team? Or more for your sake? Probably just a little bit of feedback. It's not even criticism, really. It's just a bit of feedback. You had a procedure done that is sort of an interim couple of weak thing, right? There's a small piece of rubber tubing, like a tie, like stitches almost. Do you want me to explain it?

Well, it doesn't even really need to be explained, but there's a bit visible in your re-assigned, right? It's just still a bit hanging out. A little bit hanging out. And that's all I needed to know. I don't actually need to know, I don't need to know the medical procedure. Like if you're happy, you're fine, you're healthy. That's all I really needed to know.

And that happened, right? And then this week, we were talking about it. We're in a TV land in our TV office. We're talking about it and you went, yeah, it's all good. It's actually fine, you know, you're downplaying it and then you went, I'll show you a picture, right? And I said, no, that's okay. And you went, no, it's not graphic or anything.

And then just showed me a picture of your asshole. Now, that is graphic. Just so you know, that's the feedback. That's a human's asshole. Like, you're not getting any points that it's not covered in blood or there's no poo. Like, that's not cool. You're not getting a medal for it. It's your asshole. So, it's not not graphic. Because that's why we're underpants

That's why we walk around sort of with our legs together I've been we don't just we don't just wear no undies and leap frog down the street making everyone look at it because that would be graphic Yes, yeah, okay. Yeah, okay So if you're just doing it to other people and so I just say we don't need you could have just easily been explained To go I was quite fine. It's like a stupid you saw it, did you go, oh wow, that seems, like I think you get, I mean it's your, it's your, it's your bottom, it's way, it's the target.

Yeah, but my point is, I think when you see the picture, you go, oh wow, okay, that's interesting that they've got that, I can't give the structure, I can't give the structure coming out. You're explaining the level of interest. You're certainly not the response I've been getting.

Like, oh, wow, that's... What you're seeing is people panicking to go, okay, well, the user guy was just having a chat with showing me a photo of his asshole. Now, if that was accidentally tweeted, and you were a senator, like it would cost you your career. So it's not a normal thing to go to people. Jack, do you want to see it?

No, you don't. Jack. No, no, no, no. You probably don't. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, you don't. Jack. No, no. You probably don't. No, thanks. Jack probably wouldn't. I can, I get that because you're quite a prude, Jack. But it's a prudish, you don't want to see your friends asshole. I just don't, he's got a point.

He's got a point. The people out there, if he lies, the other thing, she'd love to see it. Well, that's unprofessional, right? Ah. No, I get your point. I mean, you can't, you'd be just, I think I see it. Just go, because it was like, if you're like, oh, he'll find on my phone sort of finding it. And when you two meet some z I mean, you can't, you just think, I think, I think.

Just go, because it was like, if you're like, oh, he'll find on my phone sort of finding it. And when you turn him in, he'll be like, oh, I'll click that phone for you. Like, oh, no, that's okay. No, it's not graphic. There you go, that's my household. It's just, yeah.

It's like, you know, for a two-year-old to be like, oh, I've just found my household. And I'm going to show it to everyone. Like, that gets kind of thing, as soon as we grow up, we realize, I'll keep meeting them away a little bit. Yeah, okay. Well, I think maybe it's dead some my dad

because last night I was around at my parents' house. So I had my brother's house. Yeah. And with his wife and his wife's mum. Right. Right. And my dad's seeing the cat and he goes,

guys, I did another completely clean wipe today. Does anyone want to see a photo of it? No, I've been putting wet ones in the toilet. So yeah, it's crystal clean. It's not graphic look They clean ourself they Dad they asked how's it going my my brothers wife what to you what you do to me? Yeah, and dad goes show them the pic Yeah, they use your dad Show them the pic. Yeah, but he's your dad show them the pic. And that's my encouraging you to get it out there. And so I think he's giving me a false sense of how much people want to see a picture of your last. Yeah, so he's like show show them the pic and then. Because it's not an achievement. No, I'm not saying it's an achievement. I'm just

saying if you see it, you go because you go go, wow, that's an unusual thing to have to be protruding from your bottom constantly for the next six weeks. I think that's the level of interest there. It's not like, look how amazing the job's done. So, you stop showing people your ass off once the thing comes out? Can we have a deal? I've never shown someone my ass off if there wasn't something going on with it No, that's not there's a point of interest. There is a point of interest

I don't know I mean that sounds like something that someone was saying caught in the judge would go I still don't think they were asking to see it As feedback Hey, we touched on this last week. Yeah. We're the idea came up to start up our own GoFundMe. Yes. Or like any kind of Kickstarter online. Yeah, yeah.

It's different. Dumping in money and good feelings. Everyone has to, can only maximum of dollar. Yeah, put it in the back. For your chance to win the pool. Yep, oh, not chance. No, we found out as we went along the way. Because I know people might say

that you cannot run a lottery. That's a game of chance. No, I know, I know, you said, obviously I said chance sort of sarcastically there, because not a game of chance. No. But I know something happened since you might just happen to win all the money in the pool.

Now, people might have heard what you described and gone, it sounds like the L word lottery, not a lottery. It's definitely not a lottery. What did we say last week, Jacob? Definitely wasn't a lottery. Didn't we say that last week? I thought we'd call it the keep it friendly,

not a lottery. Just keep it friendly. It's more just a system and online group money system that's very friendly. It's very friendly. You'd only do it with your best friends. So it's really more of a private and I'd say the government keeps your noses out of it because it is more of like a private group. It's like a WhatsApp. If it's actually a, it could be a private group. Money exchange. What a, yeah. Yep.

Is that fair? Can we get over that? Sure, sure is to me. Sounds good to me. I suppose you're exchanging a dollar for the fun of being involved. Yes. One person will get as a thank you.

There is a thank you for being involved in the group. In our private group of good friends who are keeping it friendly, they might find themselves through just happenstance, not chance, getting a full refund of what they donated at plus x plus more. So we kind of so that settled. So all right, which is a huge lead anyone from the government has an issue with it's call now Yeah, we're looking good Looks good to me. Well, we gave them a window Well, why don't we do one of those things? I always see in the newspaper which seemed ridiculous to me where it's like page 80 in the classifiers

It's like you know No, I think that you can't... When you're committing crime... Just... Wow! Which is the last thing we're doing. We're not doing that. But if you were to, just...

Just because we're not doing that. Taking out and adding the classifiers. Showing your intention of doing it. Well, it's basically what those are. Showing your intention of doing it. We're bulldozing a sub-oven to build an airport. Anyone got a problem? Yeah.

Great. Well, I assume everyone's reading Page 8, it's just under the sex line, it's just to make sure I'm not going to build an airport on their house. Like, we all agree. Why don't we take out a classified so we're just triple-insured. The three of us agreed that let's take out a classified. Let's just try and fly it under. Let's just say, listen, if you're from the government,

or any sort of the state regulatory bodies, I guess we could take it like a national classifier, that's not gonna have to be the newspaper, it could be a national magazine, it could be like fishing mag or something. All classifiers work the same way. Look, if you're from the government, you're one of a lot of people,

the last thing people, you might hear some stuff about how we've got a private money pool going. Very friendly. Very friendly. We think it's totally legal. And fine and doesn't contravenny and laws. If you've got a problem with it, you know, hit us up this post office box.

Right. Tell us. Great idea. 10,000 words. So it's a lot of the problem is. That'll sort of, that'll sort the government out. We're fine with them. The other problem I'm in for Canada and Am Am is I tried to get to go fun me going is they won't let me do it or let us do it. Going through the terms

of conditions which was very boring and very long. Take bad doing that. You know, that's not my favourite. Sounds a little bit like logistics. We are saying we can't really raise funds or get any contribution to a campaign. And this is 0.7 under this clause was the big one that the Reversed in gambling or a game or any other activity. No, it's not a activity. No, it's not. It's a friendly group. With an entry free and a fee and a prize.

Not a fee. Not a fee. Not a prize. A full refund. Of both. We're including voting. Including, including a compensation for time. Including, but not limited to casino games between our sports,

but in no sports horse, greyhound racing, no lottery tickets. We just absolutely not. That wasn't not bad. Can't be a quick word. Raffle tickets. No. Octions.

Any other ventures that facilitate a game of skill or chance, haven't mentioned happens dance. Whether or not, come on, gotta. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God.

Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. I feel like I'm on a bar here in Brockovich. Thankfully my artwork is paid off.

I'm gonna get you for a barrel of idiots. Whether or not legally defined as a lottery, we're not. But that's what I think it's we're not. We're not. We're not legally defined. That's tricky. Yeah. We're making the most incredible friends. Promotions involving financial reward.

No reward. No reward. Comp compensation for time spent waiting Including give out his or sweepstakes. No way No, no good good. So here's the thing I put forth a group of friends who put dollars in for the joy of giving a dollar with no Expectation of reward what one of those friends It may be through happenst, will receive all the dollars as a compensation. I'll take a stand. I'll check it in. I'll take a stand. So what if we did this? What if we, you and I, Ham, we are going to have our own game of Happens Dance.

But I know. No, no, no. But you and I will put up the money for that. Yeah. But over here, we... We... I'd go, fun me. Yep. We need to raise money for something else. Yeah, a car.

Yeah. That we're going to build. That we plan to build. Yeah, hot rod. Yep. So we need as much money as people will want to put in. Yeah, that's right. To go towards our heart rod.

That's right. That was definitely building. Yeah, we're building our rings. And look forward to the go of Haband Stance, which is very separate to the GoF me. That's a very high pitch. That's a very high pitch. Yeah, yeah. We did money for tyres and stuff.

Yeah, exactly. And the engine that comes through the bonnet. Yeah, and the wheel. Yeah. The steering wheel. And so we get all that money for the hot rod. Yeah. Thank you.

Thanks for over on that's given a dollar. Just a dollar at a time is fine still. And then you and me have it. I was wondering what you're doing this weekend. Would you like to have a game of happenstance? Yes. And how does that get a game of happenstance work? It may, it may mean that anyone who donated like no, I can't say that out loud. As a thank you to one of our donors for the hot rod would we give them the hot rod when we build it or if we don't make if we Don't get the hot rod finished. Yeah, we give them the value of

In in some sort of do we do we value keeping do we start raising money for the hot rod and work out How we work out the other bit, the other, not give away. Well, we better get this hot rod built, that's all I know. So start doing the hot rod. If you would like to contribute one dollar only to our hot rod, yes, do that. And then we'll say we wanted to send someone a thank you note. Well, we get their details. Everyone that, when you submit your dollar to, yeah, for the hot rod, we'd love your details because we, if we send out a thank you note. We might send out a thank, we can send out a thank you note.

Yeah, we have a little thank you on it. Yeah, so we're going to pick people up and see you in Winky. But maybe a big thank you to one of our lucky hot rod funders. Yeah. From just a personal thank you. Yep. No lorigan's a personal thank you. No lorigan's a personal thank you. Yeah. No lorigan's a personal thank you. Yeah.

Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Ando. Mm-hmm.

A slight continuation on a special school we've had before. Lovely. And thank you to everybody for going to Hamishney.com, filling out the valued and important podcast form. Yep. Remember the guy we had on that could tell us the number of letters in a word? Yeah, but really quickly. Very fast.

Like, he didn't write it down and then count it with these fingers. He didn't tell call you back It was very fast. Here's an example You can't hear the power off. You just hear words all day long and like we would have just sent you podcasts then and you It's like you're living in a matrix just streams and numbers living in the matrix just streams and numbers and... Right, crazy skill. It was incredible. And it was just so fast. It was one of my favorites.

It was amazing. It really was a special skill because I'd never seen it all heard of it back before. So imagine my posture. When I read this from Robert Firth, my special guy, Muskeel, is being able to give you guys the exact amount of letters in a word or sentence. Wow, immediately after hearing it. You would have just got shot right up. Sheld is back. Very straight back. Jard, my neck. If it's a long sentence, I need to slow along to do the maths, but it's still very quick. Now I've organised for us to get Robert on the phone. Let's go to him now.

Yes. Robert, oh, hi, welcome to the show. Thank you very much for having me, guys, how are you? Very good. Now, Robert, I've typed up a few sentences in front of me. I just want a bit of a ballpark to see if I've gone too long or not long enough because, I mean, do I have free reign here to just write some quite long sentences?

I'm going to say within reason. Yeah, these are within reason and they get increasingly tougher. Robert would we say a ten-word sentence? Oh, absolutely. Oh my god. I'll just not turn it up. Ten words. Yeah, absolutely. Oh, 10 word, not 10 word. 10 words. Yeah, yeah.

Okay, let's... All right, I'm just looking at a few of the later ones here. Should we crack into it? How many examples of your written out there? I got five sentences. Okay, so Robert, here we... So, literally, here's the first sentence. Are you ready, Robert?

I'm ready. Do you want to establish any rules? I guess. Because I mean, if he gets five out of five, we're giving him an eight coin coin. Okay, yeah. We're giving eight coin coin. And we give, and four out of five, we're giving him.

The thing is the time taken. Because I do acknowledge it would take you slightly longer to do the maths, but you say, but it is still very quick. So I'm actually gonna leave it in Andy's hands. With the impression. Buzz you out. Yeah, okay. And I think it will be generous.

He'll just go, be going off his gut here as soon as I'm not impressed. I'll just go, sorry mate. Now, yeah, I'm gonna say this, counting letters in sentences is very hard. I had to triple count a few of these sentences, like just moving the cursor over them on the computer because I was getting different getting different tallies. So for me, anything sort of sub one minute is good, but any will probably be a bit tougher than that. We wanted to seem like you're a super computer. Robyn, how'd you find out that you were good at this and discovered? It came along in a weird way. I've always been interested in sort of expanding my vocabulary and then going on to that,

I don't know how I started picking up how many letters there are in it. Your brain just kind of clicked into gear and went, this is something I'm good at. Exactly. It's like the worst party trick ever. Well, we're about to find out. It could make you thousands of dollars here in equivalent value, as we all know, the Hamish Landtank on his peg to Bitcoin as it's floating base currency. I'll just say up front to, don't worry about commerce, apostrophes or question marks, I assume they don't count.

Just let it. Yeah, just let it. Okay, first sentence is this. Robert, here we go. Half 15. Spawning, 14. Very good. Yeah, it's good and I'm impressed.

And for a second, I was 100% gonna give him and went on 15 to go. Jesus, I'm bad at counting these. 14. Okay, okay, okay, well, but I'm actually, my posture's changed. Have you noticed that? Yeah, your shoulders are back your heads shut up

Second sentence, okay Robert are you really really ready? No, 25 I don't think so. I'm not impressed. Oh, 31 maybe. No. 29. I had 29. Okay. Yeah, yeah, no, that's right. 29. You got me on the really, really doubling up. That will be unhanish. Okay. Well well can you take out any doubles from now on in just in case that yeah he's tricking his brain. He's still a change for the coin. He only got four out of five. Third sentence. Okay. Okay. The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog.

30 Go with it Starting not to be impressed what are you? 36 yeah 36 yeah, no, I said that I don't must become three Yeah, no, I said it I don't have repeated myself I thought I thought the start he didn't say 36 I'll give it to me. Yeah, I'll give have to have repeated myself. I'm not that easy. He's telling me to follow. I thought the start, he did say 36. I'll give it to him. Yeah, I'll give it to him. Because you wouldn't have any idea

about how many of us. But that's not the point. But it's impressive. It's subspeing impressive once it comes into the realms of something we could do as average humans. Yeah. Yeah, okay. All right, so that was a quick bit of functional

at the Lazy Dog. Thought you might know it off by heart anyway, because it's like a famous sentence. But here's your fourth sentence. Okay. The fox then doubled back because he'd forgotten something. 39? It's something nine.

Yeah. 29? I am. 39? It's something 9. 29? I am. 39. 49. Yeah, Robert, you're out. You're out. Okay.

But would you like one for honor? Yeah, do one for honor. Yeah. We can get you a token of no value. It's certainly been exciting. It has. I've loved it. I mean, again, I hope I've counted.

I've tripled count of these. Yeah, go the last one. OK, so the fox didn't go back because he'd forgotten something. He was a four sentence. Fifth sentence is this. And remember, I wrote these when I thought you might be a bit better.

I hope these when I thought you might be a bit better. And this, you know, the number five might be the one to really push you up against the wall. But if he pulls it off, I can redeem myself. If you pull it off, this will be crazy. The foxes have a back out. He's forgotten something. This is your sentence. Lying precariously in the grass was the thing the fox forgot. His kaleidoscope. Lying precariously in the grass was the thing. So it could be 59. Yes. Is it?

64. 64. 64. 64. 64, so yeah. Yeah. Robin, I've robbed. Well, I'm sorry, Robin. Well, I, I, I, where's, what, he's good at it. Yeah, you're very good again close. Yeah. I've never done one that long before. Yeah, that's, that's what we were doing. Well, that's what I feel like, hey, at the top of the segment, we should have clarified his sweet spot.

But when we did Robert, here we go. That was good. Yeah, well, you got that. Yeah, I nailed that one. I'm not into that. So if I said like, well, you didn't say 15, then you're correct. Yeah. Yeah.

Some people could deny it. What if I did say something for Krint tonight. What if I said Robert, I like chips. 16. No. No, it's 9. It's not 10. It's gonna be 10. I like chips.

I'm wrong. Oh, that's so easy. He's got this guy yet. No, we're not doing this to him. It's over. No, go on. But that was... I need new socks.

Levin. Is it? I don't know. 13. Okay, trust me. The guy who's good at it. We all can figure it out. I know.

I know. I know. Okay. Robert will send you out a token of no value. We have certainly attributed no value to it whatsoever. We need to stress that. 12. Take him in.

Yes. and much appreciated. We need to stress that. 12. Take him everybody. Hey, hey, hey. See you. Ha ha ha. On a 13, on a 14. Hey, hey, hey of the Dyson Airblade. The Airblade came out. That was a game changer though. That was- It felt like a Samaritus just neatly cutting the water off your hands very precisely back from the day. I believe you skin intact. And since-

Accelerator, you see them around? Yeah, but it's since the- Well, they're not bad, the Accelerator. Since the Airblade. Yeah. I don't think there has been an innovation. No. That is really- Well, there are two major things think there has been an innovation. No. That is really...

Well, there are two major things... That's been game-trader. Two major things happened after the air blade came in. You had accelerated it, come out, which are those big silver ones that come to a main funnel. Ciles are blue light and I think somewhere. They are silver pre-fugious and they come out with some force. It's a circular nozzle. So, people I suppose are like the old-school circular nozzle there.

Coming out, you don't have to now dip your hands in and out of this imaginary air bucket So people I suppose are like the old school circular nozzle there. Yeah, yeah. Coming out, you don't have to now dip your hands in and out of a dis-imaginary air bucket that the air blade gives you. Yeah. So the more traditional people that enjoy seeing a dirty puddle of water on the floor, yeah, that's your accelerator. And I think it's about X, you know, the railway. But then there was a bunch of knockoff air blades.

So you sometimes go into the bathroom at an airport or something and go, yes, they've got air blades. I know it's the Mitsubishi one. Tricking the airport, you could get the airport contract. Because if you were an up and coming hair dryer. Yeah, I think you'd have to put them in for free. You'd have to put them in for free. That's what I was thinking. You'd have to put them in for free.

So because the amount of traffic that would go past and go, yeah, that's a good. And I don't know that RRP on an air blade, but it would be thousands. And I guess they're not cheap and installation's gonna be a nightmare too, because you're on tiles. So I would say a lot of airports would love the idea of having an air blade, but it just doesn't make

economical sense. And that's why they get the knock-offs. Well, I saw two new ones on the market. Two new hand drives. Two new things. And I want to run them by you. These things. Yeah, there's two new things that I want to run them by you to see whether you think they're an improvement for dust and open fire. So I saw one in a service

station, the other one of the airport, rare that you'd have cutting edge of the server. New server. In a city. No, you suburb. New a peninsula link. You freeway. You freeway. Okay. Because I don't think you'd even get it on a renovated existing site. It would have to be a new server. Yeah, it was a new server. Um, he's the first one. It had a countdown on it. No, mind that. So you started and it just said 10, 9, I actually I do mind that. Yeah, I minded it as well. I thought I didn't mind it, but I do mind it. Because if you're at six and you know there's no chance,

that's just telling me in advance, I know I've got a whole bunch more work to do to get you going again. Because they're always so hard to get going. Yeah, I just give us one with an on-off switch. I think we can handle it. Well, the pro timer, no nothing, just the pro turn it on, we'll turn it off like a hair dryer.

I didn't know. When that be amazingly luxurious. I don't like a machine telling me when my drying time's up. What about a dryer? The other problem it had was there was a guy behind me. Yep. Ah, and he would expect time's up.

Yeah, so, you know, like adding a turn on a computer game as a kid or something you yet a parent They're going mate. You've had you go and I'm like all I have in my gut So I'm putting his strike against that one. Yeah, here's the second one. What type of drying technology was it? I can't just hot-wast yeah, yeah hot-wast was it a waft or a gust? Gust it was gust it was like it was doing the job, but not quick enough. Yeah Here's the other one. It had two settings. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, going in going. Oh, that last one was too aggressive. I just like, my delicate hands can't have a wind so far. I have to walk around with my dermis showing.

Now guys, I know I have flagged something for this show. It's been known as the big finish. I've been in the show for a while. I've been in the show for a while. I've been in the show for a while. I've been flagged something for this show. It's known as the Big Finish. I told you guys I... You said to me, I said, oh, and what do you want to do at the end?

And you said, I'll do your home issues, Big Finish. And true to my word, I have organized a Big Finish because we often don't go, this is the final thing. I've noticed on the podcast and I wanted to do something about that and I can't think of too many areas I would improve the podcast. If I may, if I may have a moment of reflection, we have a lot of fun doing this. I think we churn out a decent podcast except sometimes I feel like the end lacks and what podcast couldn't be improved by having a big finish. Now I know if you say it's a big finish you're putting a lot of pressure on yourself Yeah, you're happy to do that. I understand the price that this comes with to do the big finish

But I still thought it was worth putting the word out saying to you guys it's time for our big finish I'm gonna do a big finish. I'll step up for the team and I'll organize a big finish I've taken that upon myself to it may. May I play you the big finish? Oh, it should pre-record it. It's pre-recorded. I've recorded it before the show. Okay. With marshy.

Since the dawn of the podcast, Hey Mission Andy have started the podcast in a consistent way. What's crack-a-luck in everyone? Oh, fantastic. Then tried to fill the podcast with content of varying quality But the podcast has never had an official finish some weeks it peed us out. Some weeks it ends on a goodbye. We will see you next week. But no week has ever ended on a big finish for this episode. Big fish!

And things were looking good. Big fish. All the ideas were coming together. However, management sadly regrets to inform you. They chewed to a few logistical concerns. The big fish has... Beamed delayed. Big Finish has been delayed till I'm gonna say October! It's still a big finish. Like what's weird about this, like there's no, I knew there would be nothing there.

I didn't. You were hoping for a big finish. No, because... And I had a few nothing there. I didn't. No, you were hoping for a big group. No, because... And I had a few ideas, but they didn't all kind of come together crazy, but I thought, you know what? It's better to put a placeholder in and I look forward to... And set an October timeline. I look forward to the next placeholder in October. No.

But what we... Very confident we'll get the job done by October. At this stage, we are on track for the October big finish. What's ironic about it is you have, we've finished big today, with a promise. The finish is a promise and wait till October. Which will be broken. Wait till October. This point, we're all in anticipation for October.

I would expect podcast downloads to rise as the words spreads at the big finish on October and at this stage I'm very pleased to do. Early October are October or mid. Could be like, could be early at this stage, but I'm aiming for mid and at this stage we seem to be on track for that. That's good news. podcast will return next week. Catch up or contribute at hamishanandie.com.