Hamish & Andy - Hamish & Andy 2019 Ep 61

Episode Date: July 17, 2019

1. Obtaining flies 2. Gareth’s song 3. Gone in 60 Seconds 4. Power Moves 5. Snake hands 6. Hayden the Fly Catcher ...

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 A list-knop production. Activate your internet. Cos the Hamish and the Podcast starts in 3, 2, sorry, still buffering. One! A Hoi Jack! A Hoi Andy and Hamish. Oh, Hamish? Hamish and through.
Starting point is 00:00:30 And Detective a little bit of a, your life is just naming you. Because he was like, oh yeah, I think I might cut Ham out. That wasn't pretty good. Then it was a panic, but no, better cut him in. We got a, we got, you know, between 41 and 48 minutes together. And I don't want to get home offside first thing up. No thank you Jack, appreciate the shout out. Oh, hello everybody out there.
Starting point is 00:00:53 Thank you for listening and joining us today. Oh, hello you Andy. Brad, particularly, a hoi to you in Canada, who are sending this message about what he's up to today. Oh, oh boy boys. Brad from Canada here. Just having a whiskey and coke. Sitting on the patio. Doug's barking at me through the window.
Starting point is 00:01:12 And I'm about to start some gardening because it's springtime in Canada. Have a good one. She's taking me a show before. Ha! People are having a garden. Perfectly prep the gardening I reckon. Love, Gavav.
Starting point is 00:01:26 Just love to have heard the conversation before we went outside. I'm about to do some gardening. Is that a... you got a whisky and go? Yeah. We're not right away. And I'll do it when the mood strikes. It didn't... Even the way you delivered his message,
Starting point is 00:01:39 didn't seem like Brad was ever in a hurry in life. No. What I would love to know when we can't to go and fill up on these things, but I wonder how much gardening he had, because it felt like me he was looking out of the big garden. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:01:53 And he needed that... It sounded like he was walking. And he needed that whiskey coke to go, all right. That's all you need. Let's take this all in. Let's have more of a team meeting before we get. Let's divide and conquer this garden. Oh, you know, it could have been
Starting point is 00:02:03 just one of those tiny little pop plant situations that on the edge of the patio gets through a lot of whiskey And he's spending an hour drinking whiskey and coke and then pull a few weeds that he's done Hey, what's an episode? This has been this week mate today is the day Today is the day you brought us something last week with regards to can we have a fellow quit Haydenon for a special skill who thinks he's excellent at catching flies these hands killing him. Oh yeah, but catching him and his speed. Catching the man of wears at high velocity as he's palm flies through their bodies. We causing a fatal rupture.
Starting point is 00:02:36 We have. That's the reality. That's the sport. We have flown Hayden down with his kid because he's well we didn't fight. I mean, we didn't know he was bringing his kid, but he's... Yeah, but I think we'll have to fly for free. We're going to Pat Aksas, but not too much. Sorry, he's put it down.
Starting point is 00:02:51 He's got his son, he's looking after his son today. And what a wonderful thing to show you, son, you know, all two-year-olds think they're parents of superheroes, but to have it proved to his child, yes I am. I have to fly across two state lines to go and show these people what daddy's good at, which is catching flies unaware. It's a huge moment for him.
Starting point is 00:03:15 And last week on the show, the thing that really got our attention the most was when he said in his email, I'm faster than a fly, because human beings traditionally are much slower than flies. And to find someone that's faster than a fly is great. He reckons he can... Well, we got to this test.
Starting point is 00:03:28 There'll be 10 flies put into a secure room. You're not in a large room, so you can still get to them. He's got five minutes to bring back seven kills. He does like to line up his kills at home. I would like them lined up today on the... We've got a board room for him. Yeah. We like him to place the kills out on the table. So we can see him, so we can easily judge them.
Starting point is 00:03:48 Jury's out on whether he can do it. One thing that I was worried about, Sarah, who produces the show for us, shared to go and get the flies this week. She was chasing up the flies. It's, let's get Sarah in here actually. Sarah, come on in, Grinnell. Because it was a big rigmarole for Grinnells to get the flies. Where did it start? Where did the hunt for flies? It started on the internet, looking up, like, does anyone sell flies, but no one sells flies. How long do you fly?
Starting point is 00:04:15 A fly lose for 28 days if it's a house fly. OK. So 38 days has a fly. So it'll be hard. 30 years a bee. 31 is a wasp if you kept your by the knees. Oh, you know, everyone remembers the throng. So you basically, you wouldn't sell flies because, do you sell them by the head or do you
Starting point is 00:04:35 buy them by the key lock? Well, I thought maybe it flies, like pet shops would have flies to feed to animals. Yeah. Like, that's, that makes it. Exactly, exactly. For the, they don't. They have this thing called lava lava lava. Yeah, and they feed that to like reptiles. And that is how a fly sometimes starts. Always starts. So they're not mammals. They're not get born full. You never see a mummy mummy flyer know back with her legs apart and then daddy fly out the job and saying breathe honey breathe
Starting point is 00:05:07 And I'll go brody here before fly comes out Okay, so but you compared to some of that stuff so we did are you trying to breathe your own? Yeah, yeah Fly Ranch They didn't work very well even though though the people... Did any flight hatch? Yeah, so some hatch, but they were like... Were you keeping them? They couldn't just, they were just at home,
Starting point is 00:05:30 so it didn't work properly. Mike and I had a look at it, and like the flights, they didn't know how to fly. Because I, we once... They could say mum and dad wasn't there. We don't know the answer. No, I was worried about this here. And they, all they saw was a cat, so they thought they were a cat. Dad wasn't there, we don't know the answer. No, I was worried about this here.
Starting point is 00:05:45 And all they saw was a cat, so I thought they were a cat. They were just drinking milk and falling asleep on the couch. No, I was worried about this because when I heard you brought lava, or lava, I once lived in a house before I was with my wife, a less tidy house, than we have now with Hado and John, my old housemate. Grosh place. And we had an absolute cesspit we lived in. And at one stage, we must have had a dead animal somewhere in the house that was flyblown. And it must have laid maggots in the animal.
Starting point is 00:06:15 The flies must have laid larvae because a whole, we're watching to the bathroom one day, and there was literally 200 flies. Baby ones on the window. Oh, and it was really quiet and super eerie because they weren't moving because when baby flies come out, they're idiots and not that grown up so that much better, but they would, they just wait for a few days.
Starting point is 00:06:34 All right, so basically probably building up strings to fly. I think the courage, you can't come out and just fly. Yeah, exactly. Maybe because it's a big call to go, I think I can, but if I jump off this window and I can't fly it's a long way down Yeah, so it was really weird because worried we would I don't want to give Hayden baby flaws today Because it'll be a walk in the park. So then I want proper adult Muscular racing flies so we only bought the larvae blow flies
Starting point is 00:06:58 I got an alert from our cat saying Usually that's my domain. Yeah, exactly same. I don't even need the alerts, because I usually cause the alerts. I think your card's been skimmed. Someone's buying lava from Queensland or something. Yeah, it was from Queensland. And we were worried.
Starting point is 00:07:14 The lady on the phone said that, oh, 100 flies will hatch. We were worried that it would be waiting for us in reception and that would hatch in the package, but like barely any hatched anyway. So then we thought it would be a good idea. Mike went to Bunnings and I told him to buy a fly trap to catch flies ourselves, but because it's winter, that didn't work very well. And what kind of what's a fly trap?
Starting point is 00:07:36 Obviously you don't need any, not vinegar. No, but then if you don't put the liquid that you think they are just kind of attracted to the area and then they won't die. Okay, it's like a valve they can get in, they can't get out. Exactly. So then that didn't work and I thought, oh God. How much of a week have you guys spent on floppin'
Starting point is 00:07:53 all these 10 flops? Oh, and she knows that Hayden's flowing down. Exactly, so then I was like, God help me. And I just fall. Well, let's, let's we forget. How long did Mike spend on the fly trap? Oh, probably a couple of days. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:08:08 Oh, really? This is would be familiar with Mike's last outing on the podcast when it took upwards of three or four hours to boil water. Before he realized he had the wrong part. So Mike is quickly building a name for himself as the guy to call if you've got infinite time. The go to guy, the goto guy for a long failure.
Starting point is 00:08:26 So I was like, Mike, you keep with the flies in the trap, and I'm just going to call them. My failure is Mike speaking. I'm going to help you. Yeah, yeah. I need to find half an anyway. Absolutely no worries. I'll start with chickens and save Huggardake over there.
Starting point is 00:08:50 So the first number I called was a guy called Mike from Petmart, Australia. Was it a plug? So we got these while I was comfortable. This guy was like seriously an angel and he's like, oh yeah, I can catch flies. And then him and his wife just started catching all these flies for us. And they got like a whole container. Well, he did it over a couple of days So I look before and some have died, but that's because they're in my keep for 24 hours Been out the week. Yeah, but we have about 10 now We're feeling
Starting point is 00:09:15 Needs 10 Competition dictates 10 flies and he's got five minutes to bring in half an hour So thank God for for Mike because he was Mike from Petmart, not the Mike. Other producer? Ben Mike, your best pet store. When you need a fly guy, I call him Petmart.
Starting point is 00:09:34 Thank goodness for Mike. From Petmart. Yeah, no, it's not for our Mike. OK, great. So we know that Hayden's coming in. there's strong Pfizer and the Kratos' front. Yeah, really strong, they're big. What's the strongest thing you saw one do? Well, I've seen if you die and then they attack at once.
Starting point is 00:09:56 Oh, right, so these are absolute. These are like UFC. Yeah, yeah. These are like, work, special forces, Russian, crazy flies. Okay, so at the end of this podcast, I'm not saying people in the Russians Special Forces are cannibals. I'm just saying, you know, they're sort of just like,
Starting point is 00:10:11 they can go into the wild for 10 days, doesn't bother them. Sarah, thank you so much. Thank you to Mike from Petmart. Thank you to Mike producer, Mike radio, Mike as well. Well done, Mike. That's very fun.
Starting point is 00:10:22 We are going to do the rest of the podcast, but in around about by the end of this podcast, we'll finish with it. We'll finish with it. We'll be down in the stadium to see Hayden, his magical skill, setting, pull it off. If we kill seven and then three remaining, we should release those because they've been through the absolute ringer. They've been captured. They've seen their comrades die. They've attacked their comrades.
Starting point is 00:10:48 They've then been put into the Colosseum. They've survived that. We should absolutely grant them their three. Freedom thumbs up. They've probably only got ten more days even. I've had a lot of the captive in the waiting for this. I would suggest find a big poo and have some fun. You know what? We should say, get Mark organiser, big poo. I mean, you'll come back with half a brownie, but... LAUGHTER LAUGHTER LAUGHTER
Starting point is 00:11:12 MUSIC Hey, one thing I love about this show being podcasted. Mm-hmm. Now, is that people jump on board at any time. Yeah. We encourage people to go back and start at Ep 1. Yes. Ep 1 last year.
Starting point is 00:11:29 Ep 1 last year. Yep. And because then you might be able to be up to speed in a few more of the longer running jokes. It will just help you get a bit grounded. And there's no rush. There's no rush. I mean, my wife and I recently went back and did the surprise notes from the start. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:44 She'd never seen it. I mean, I should do that recently went back and did the surprise from the start. She'd never seen it. I mean, and there on piece of art, great. It doesn't age at all. I mean, there on PCs, there's a fair bit of, you know, one point, the Tony and his friends, making a bit of money selling DVDs, and it's probably not as lucrative a mug. There's a few bit. You figure those little bits and pieces, and it's great. You know, miss anything? What I love is people that come across something we were doing almost a year and a half ago and then go, I'd love to be involved in that.
Starting point is 00:12:12 Yeah, right. Are they still doing it too late because in their life it feels very relevant. There's the hope that maybe we are doing. Yeah, and often we'll say we're going to follow things up and. It has happened that they fall by the wayside. Gareth Inska is one of those guys from Canada him. He said that I heard that you guys were looking for songs to be sent because you planned to do a whole show with tiny songs in the breaks like a radio show because you missed the songs but you needed the songs to be relevant. Oh, gas. You back the wrong horse there my friend. Yeah, that was a surprise. That was a surprise. That was a surprise. One of them was good. Yeah, that was a
Starting point is 00:12:55 surprise. I just checked that one back. See if it grows. I also see sometimes people ride in going under the topic of the people's segment. What's that about? Can we put that up once? going under the topic of the people's segment. What's that about? Can we put that up once? It goes, I'm not sure if you've since played all the songs on the episode. I played the songs episode. Waiting for a special episode. Or you've gone off that idea or something.
Starting point is 00:13:14 Oh, it's a interesting take. But if it's too late to send songs, I was hoping that this title might reinvigorate it. I've sent a song called Is It Too Late. And it's meta. It is too late, but Gareth has this one exception. We'll play along. We should, this way we've done what we said we were going to do. This would be the last song we'll play. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:13:38 I don't know if you're into this anymore. It has finally come But I'm hoping you might hear me out like you would I before But is it too late for me to act you late? Tell me you're listening and still Easily the best one we get. Go on, you guys. We'll bend folds five.
Starting point is 00:14:15 Yeah, beautiful stuff. Yeah. Yeah, well, we're not, we're not talking anymore. Even if you're amazing, don't. Ando, it's time for me to bring to light a move. I've got you with a few times. You show up at Pull It Off at cafes, where I say to you, sorry, I was going to go have a wee. Come back very quickly afterwards and go just do the wee. I then reveal to you that I have in fact done a poo.
Starting point is 00:14:45 One of my world famous, gone in 60 seconds. You did this with our manager the other day. We were in a cafe. Excuse me boys, will go, have a wee. K, sorry about that. And it was, sorry about the wee. I know now, retrospectively, now that you told me. Because you said to me, after we left, you went,
Starting point is 00:15:02 how you know before when I said, I was going for a wee, I actually did poo. And I was, I'm not going to fake this shot, because you go, no, you can't do a poo in that time, poo's longer than we. Yeah, well they know, they don't have to be. Yeah, so gone in 60 seconds as its name suggests, is a move that you can perform if you're at a busy cafe,
Starting point is 00:15:18 it's very good for dates, where you don't want your, perhaps don't want the person you're out with if it's a first or a second act to know that you're off to do a poo. But now I've heard you married, you leave the day off of 20, 30 minutes, but when you're on a first date, you don't want it to look like you're the kind of person that's just pooing wherever, you know, all over town. Is it hard for you to go into that mindset of not taking out your phone to look at anything?
Starting point is 00:15:42 There's a lot of things you've got to do. If you really, and when you think about it, 60 seconds is no a lot of time. If you really want to pull off a gun in 60 seconds, there are some tenants you have to stick to. Fones obviously are out. Helps if you've got a watch that either has a stopwatch feature, or if you can adjust the bezel on the watch,
Starting point is 00:15:59 if you've got one of those, I've got a, like a seawatch, a diving watch, you can spin it around so you can see. Yeah, where it comes from. Because 60 seconds goes quicker than you think. You cannot relax. If you're relaxing at any point during the 60 seconds, you're going to get burnt. You go, everything happens.
Starting point is 00:16:16 Is it a full evacuation? It's as much as you're going to get. It's not, you know, obviously, you know, you don't obviously stand up if you still go again. Here's the thing though, often if you think about it, you're in there for a long time, you might sort of come in a few ways. The beauty of the gun in 60 seconds is you do it once, you do one contraction and you start finishing up. And even as you're sitting down, I would recommend you starting to take out the toilet paper.
Starting point is 00:16:42 So you're always doing the next move ahead of where you're, When you're locking the door, you're undoing your belt. You're always doing the next move. During the next move, during the current move, and that's how you're able to leapfrog and compress all the things you've got to do. You need to be... You need to have to really go, though. You know, you've got to have someone in the departure lounge, for sure. Because it's not...
Starting point is 00:17:02 Yeah. Even in spending five seconds... Yeah, try to conjure it. Sometimes this is a promo. Sometimes on the way to the toilet, you can begin to tell your stomach, it's time to go. Now I'm not saying you begin to beat your pants, but I'm saying you begin the process of letting... I'm done before, yeah.
Starting point is 00:17:20 But your pants. No, no, I haven't actually. There you have it. Onk it, Kat. I know. That's a cut, you're under your lap. No, I don't have actually. You haven't. On could it kept? I know. It's a cut, you're undue. Yeah, I did. But as you go into the toilet,
Starting point is 00:17:30 you are beginning to tell your muscles who would tense all day, thank God. If they're doing a great job of holding it. The pressure, you're having to tell your muscles, oh, don't do it now, but coming up. You're going to get some time off. Lumber up. Coming soon. Just begin thinking about relaxing. So you don't then it now, but coming up you're gonna get some timber up limber up coming soon just begin thinking about relaxing so you don't then waste
Starting point is 00:17:48 three four five seconds and Uncleansing To easy is a detailed it's a detailed system. I obviously can't explain it all to you now I've put together an audiobook That's available for purchase. It's like an audio guide and if with your permission I'd like to play some samples of it. Well fast forward through, okay, when I think it's getting, I'm giving you my two maps, okay, you're
Starting point is 00:18:14 a jack of mine. Well yeah, well you start play Jack but I'll keep my finger hovering over the fast forward button, okay. That's cassette. Congratulations on your purchase of this audio audiobook instruction and recording on how to perform the Gone in 60 seconds manoeuvre. Over the next three hours, you'll learn the secrets from a master. On how? Four hours.
Starting point is 00:18:37 After one, the announcement. It's critical you announce to the table you're going for a wee. Some popular lines for this misdirection are, well, I'm off for a tingle. Won't be a moment, just gonna do a number one. Or, well, it's time for the old whizmaster here to fire up the other piss and pipe and squirp. If you're normally a 10 to 15 minute man like myself, your body will be conditioned to a much longer sip. That is why it's critical to keep moving. Even if your body is telling you there's more to come, it doesn't matter.
Starting point is 00:19:12 Often there will be a secondary or finisher contraction. But to perform the GASS properly, you have to ignore this. Stay mobile. Rude. Rude. Critical to use paper towel here, moving just dry your hands on your pants as the dryer can eat up critical
Starting point is 00:19:30 seconds like you need to get... ...and shows up for a while there. If you land back in your seat at the fifty-nine second mark, you might like to finish the illusion by saying something along the lines of now that was a good way. Sorry again about having to do that way I did just now, or, well the old
Starting point is 00:19:50 whiz master has completed another legendary whiz out of the old pissing pipe. There truly was an absolute fire hose. Yeah, it's lots of examples enough of that. Thanks again for your purchase and good luck. Hey, yeah, that's great. I mean that mean, that should be given up from the government. Yeah, I think everyone should have well, because you know, if people enjoy going out for a breakfast in a weekend morning
Starting point is 00:20:14 and a lot of people do, it'd free up the toilet. Because so many cafes have a one toilet. And just to, I suppose, overall efficiency in the workplace. Yeah, yeah, I mean, don't do it at work. That's going in 60 minutes, isn't it? Yeah, yeah. If you're spending, if you're not at a one-to-one ratio of toilet time to desk time,
Starting point is 00:20:34 I think your work would probably... Hey, it's time for... Power moves. Thank you for sending them in. We are nibbling away at a copy table book. It's power moving itself that we won't reveal when it's out. Yeah. And what's going to be in it? It's also a siss- It's also a siss- In the fact that we haven't got quite together yet. Yep, but...
Starting point is 00:21:04 I hadn't thought about that. Now we're doing his power move. It's a point in the future, but the longer we leave it open, the more these submissions can get in. And this week again, God, the listeners of this podcast, they do not disappoint.
Starting point is 00:21:19 This power move is a sensational. And if you're looking, sorry, we should just point out maybe you knew the podcast, welcome, go back, but yeah, we're looking for the definitive list. No, but welcome back when you get back up to this bit. Oh, I hope you enjoyed going back. Now you may proceed.
Starting point is 00:21:33 We're looking for the definitive list of moves. You can do socially or in a work environment that give you a more powerful position. There was this is a cracker and a from Christie. She goes, look, it's power movement my husband did to me recently. It was horrible, but also too good not to share. She writes for a farewell, so I just paraphrase it. Essentially what happened was,
Starting point is 00:21:54 he, there was nighttime. I believe the husband was doing the dishes. So he's hands are wet, right? Phone rings in the kitchen. He says to Christie, husband says to Christie, hey, can you answer it? Chuck it on speaker. As he goes to church, husband says to Christy, hey can you answer it, chuck it on speaker. As he goes to church, no worries, because he's hands away. She answers, oh hi Dave, I'll
Starting point is 00:22:11 just get husband for you. He then proceeds to say nothing. He says, I, they looked and said, he's here and the longer he said nothing, the more of an idiot I look like. Also the A-line, or I didn't know how to get my husband to get him on the phone. It's a good one because you're not sure where it's going. And then as soon as the penny drops, you go. No, it's quite to get back with that. I don't think I'd only wait to get in and this is if this guy says something and it's just going. I really like it. Quick one from Lock this guy says something and he just goes. Really like it. Quick one from Locky Brown here, hand, power move.
Starting point is 00:22:48 Established dominance by hugging your Uber driver at an airport. It would convince onlookers that you have family members in love with you and picking you up. Really good one. That's true Locky. Rhoven. Thanks for reaching out, Rhoven. Hey guys, bit of a public transport one. Don't know if this is a classic one or not, but Jesus, pretty good.
Starting point is 00:23:10 If you're in public transport, one bit of me time. Yep. Pour a bit of water on the seat next to you. If someone sees it, they won't see it there. But if someone doesn't see it and tries to sit there, you can quickly tell the, oh, I watch out, there's a lot of water on that seat and hence become a hero for saving them getting wet good
Starting point is 00:23:33 I think it's easy so I just sit down, get out there bottle, could be my favourite just a pop-up even like an empty juice pop-up, 200mL do it just to make this late in the game for a fresh new ones to come out, It's really good, right? Michael Barry, thank you and a hoi. He said, I was on the unfavorable side of a power move on the weekend. He goes, my partner and I say, I'm sorry, can I say? Thank you to, I love that the movement's got so big, same with Christy from before.
Starting point is 00:24:01 Victims are coming forth going. Victim in bad I'm proud enough. I'm a fan enough of the game to vote for an opposing team member Yes to get the brown like I just it's just I was played on so well that I want everyone to know about it You said oh my partner and I spent the past weekend with her dad and his partner Yep And I was the first to finish a delicious dinner prepared by them. Am I placed my knife and fork together to display this? As soon as I did my father and father-in-law immediately picked up a bread roll and placed it on my plate.
Starting point is 00:24:36 I found myself that a bit decommend. if I ate the bread, the dinner roll, it would suggest that I was hungry. He knew that, but I didn't need it. It would suggest that I was ungrateful, or even worse, I didn't enjoy the bookie. He said a pond reflection, it was a very good power. It was obviously, I've got one more dinner base one. If I can go straight to another one here.
Starting point is 00:25:05 From Morica, she says, sitting down to dinner, I always thank my mum for the cooking immediately, and then quickly in the same breath before anyone can say anything else. I ask my brother if he's gonna thank mom for dinner. Ah! Ah! Ah!
Starting point is 00:25:20 Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! It's great so often. So often a pound move is about not letting up the momentum. A pound moves about keeping the pressure up, acting first, acting decisively and following up fast.
Starting point is 00:25:40 It's a great one. Ando from Alice, she's in the UK. It comes all over from Oxford, England, don't know if it's actually university, but it's one's from the top, so it's a great palm to use if you're ever involved in a group meeting and you have to dial in, you have to dial in on speakerphone. First of all, it's great to be, if you can get yourself in a position to dial in, you already seem more important than the meeting. But first move is to establish that quote, the line isn't great. Okay, great.
Starting point is 00:26:10 This will force everyone to shout for the duration of the meeting, and no one can interrupt you for fear of confusing things because the line's not great. Then when they ask you something, leave them hanging in an awkward silence. They will ask again, thinking that the line's not great. And finally, at the end, whenever a senior colleague speaks, always ask, who said that? LAUGHTER They look like an absolute nobody, but they'll have to tell you. Simply respond by saying, OK, or thanks to employees,
Starting point is 00:26:40 I think you have noted who said it. Love it. That's all it. Another wonderful batch. Really good. Let it. Love it. Another wonderful batch. Really good. Let's go again next week. Oh, I see it. It's good.
Starting point is 00:26:50 And to today's an amazing day. We're minutes away from Hayden, the fly catcher coming in. He clearly stated on last week's show. Yes. I'll give him 10 flies. He can kill seven in five minutes. Well, that's his... Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:27:01 That's the mark for coin. He can kill flies quick on catch and kill. Of course. He can kill. He can kill. Well, that's the mark for coin. Kill flies quicker on catch and kill for quite as quicker than any other human out there. Which says he's faster than a fly, which I find amazing. We've set up the challenge.
Starting point is 00:27:14 We'll get to that soon in the meantime. Whilst we're on the topic of skills, I hope I haven't gotten outside of the team spirit here, but I wanted to run something past you because I passed over one this week that I guess is stuck in my mind because there's questions, well, there's questions unanswered to it.
Starting point is 00:27:33 It was a guy, a camera from Guy called Chris. Okay. Special skills, can wave my fingers like water, freakishly and fluently? Wow. Now, what if that being impressive? I guess it's like this. Oh, I'm waving my fingers like water at Andy,
Starting point is 00:27:54 freakishly, and fluently. Well, I mean, it didn't look that freakish. No, my question to you is, can you imagine a world where someone waving their fingers like water would constitute a special skill? How do you wave you feel like I thought it was like that as in like the motion of a wave Would be waving I know he given a call is in town's field it'll be a fly down give give or we're not gonna find down because in bands But yeah, let's give him a call and just find out what that mean because I mean it's like
Starting point is 00:28:22 call and just find out what that means. Because I mean it's like. Like Chris, Chris, Hey, Mission Andy here, how are you mate? I'm good yourself. Yeah, really good mate. Hey, just going through your submission and thank you for reaching out to the show. We love all our very important podcasts. Thanks for filling out the form. Some of the caught our eye can wave my fingers like water, freckishly, and fluently. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:28:46 We are trying to imagine a world where that would be something that could be more than what it was before. Have you seen other people's books? Chris? I've both thought I would have been trying to do it in the past, where I would sort of show them to try to themselves, because I think I wouldn't see if they could do it, but yeah, no, they haven't come across anyone else I could do it as of childhood. I think it's like a thing. I think it's like a
Starting point is 00:29:05 thing. I think it's like a thing. I think it's like a thing. I think it's like a thing. I think it's like a thing. I think it's like a thing. I think it's like a thing. I think it's like a thing. I think it's like a
Starting point is 00:29:14 thing. I think it's like a thing. I think it's like a thing. I think it's like a thing. I think it's like a thing. I think it's like a thing. I think it's like a thing. I think it's like a thing. I think it's like a
Starting point is 00:29:22 thing. I think it's like a thing. I think it's like a thing. I think it's like a thing. I think it's like a thing. I think it's like a thing. I think it's like a thing. together like you're having a clap show thing but your hands are together Oh, yeah, and then moving your fingers, you know No, yeah, I think I think so bending the one one hand thing back So is it a prayer position your hands are in a prayer position? Exactly. Yeah, yeah Like a snake like almost like I could like I guess you could say like a like a Oh, yeah, like I do what we're all trying to like a like a like a oh yeah like I
Starting point is 00:29:45 do what we're all trying to we're all trying to do it in here and the one thing we're lacking is fluency yeah so like they walk like an Egyptian for instance they put their hands in a prayer position they used to do that kind of fluid movement but yours would you say your fingers emulate almost a snake's body? yes yes exactly so I can get to move, or the one that's locked is no, like it's completely circular, the whole way, you know,
Starting point is 00:30:09 to each circular way from the bottom of your fingers or the opposite, top of your fingers in the different motion that you've had. Chris, is it press? I, the max of effect,
Starting point is 00:30:19 can it be seen, can you be impressed by a video of this? Yeah, I was going to say, would you, would you film it? Yeah, I can, I can, can I can video it and say yeah. Well pause now. Go ahead film it. You film it send it to us.
Starting point is 00:30:30 Why don't you send to us now and then on next week because we've got to get to Hayden the fly guy who's just come in. Yeah, sure. Next week's podcast. Now let's just pause now and and and say the film. Yeah, because we could be winning a coin. Oh, what so if we see what about What about this? Because I was probably was probably not sold on it. I suppose wouldn't apology for your win.
Starting point is 00:30:52 We might give you an apology if you like it. To be go, you know what, that is really impressive. Yeah, it's not a coin, but it's an apology. Yeah, that's good. Okay, Chris, send it through to us. We'll pause this now. We'll be back in one second, everybody. Okay, we're back. Send it through to us and we'll pause this now. We'll be back in one second everybody
Starting point is 00:31:08 Okay, we're back Chris has sent the video to Jack. Have you watched you at him? No, no, but it's okay. He sent it through okay We're gonna watch it at the same time. Yeah, it's on the website. What's that very very easy easy easy? Right, yeah, sorry a bit behind you. Oh geez, okay Yeah, yeah, right, okay. Right. Yeah, okay. Yeah. Right.
Starting point is 00:31:33 And look at the way he's concentrating too. Yeah. And he's getting more and more flamboyant with the way it's bending. Everything's just done. We will put that up at homie-shade.com. Yeah, people need to see that on our pipes as well. Chris, Chris.
Starting point is 00:31:44 Yep. Are you an apology? That was very good. at homysne.com. Yeah, people need to see that on our pipes as well. Kris, you pipe. Kris, yep. Oh, you're an apology. That was very good. That was very, very, very good. The fluency is outstanding. It is very fluent. I would say though, Kris, we wouldn't have flown you down for the two seats.
Starting point is 00:31:57 I don't know. Back, back. Yeah, it's visual. It's visual. It is visual. But it's certainly, you're a cat above the rest with that. Never seen a finger move like that, really. Well, 10 fingers moving in unison as fluently as that as a ten.
Starting point is 00:32:10 That's actually, I've actually wrote in reports that I've been doing so, that's actually my hand a little bit sore. It's my, I've been doing it a little more. It's hard to start that. Jesus, kidding me. That's with the cramped hand. Yeah. I'd hope to see you in, and Olympic conditions.
Starting point is 00:32:24 Chris, remarkable stuff. Really, I mean, it's the way the thing is. It's the way the fingers can bend back that is so special. Are you dislocating your fingers? No, no, definitely not. This is saddening. I did. Double joint.
Starting point is 00:32:36 I did. Double joint. I did. For a lot of the years. So very flexible fingers strong. Having them pulled and twisted and all that. Do you use a lot of finger work in BJJ? I mean, the finger is a Jitsi.
Starting point is 00:32:49 It's made to be married at all, not for the rest, the fingers and not as well, so I'm going to grab one. Back I think so, yeah. Because the last thing you want is to have someone in a killer move and then they can just bend your finger back or whatever. Well exactly. So if someone bends your finger back, you laugh at them all the time. Yeah, I just twist your finger and make it for me. Yep, and you would bend theirs back with great fluency. Fluency, rich and nominal. Hi Chris, thank you very much.
Starting point is 00:33:14 And can I just say Chris, you're a command of the English language too? Fluent. Oh, okay. Absolutely fluent in English. So the fluency is non-stop. Good evening mate. Thank you. MUSIC Hey, it's time. Let's go down and do it.
Starting point is 00:33:32 Yeah, Hayden is the man. He's special skill. Killing flies, brackets, bare hands. Yes, I'm fast and a fly. My wife's at home when I like to leave the doors open. It's a little nice breeze through my house. Unfortunately, sometimes my awesome cooking attracts many flies and that's when I stand to leave the doors open. It's a little nice breeze through my house. Unfortunately, sometimes my awesome cooking attracts many flies, and that's when I stand these hands in. Essentially. Well, his body's handstand attached to his body.
Starting point is 00:33:52 The body keeps the hands warm, but the hands, the feature of the body. He's done with his kid. He's done with his kid, also has hands. Yeah, always has hands. And we're going to go downstairs now to where we've set up the test as we mentioned earlier on the episode and catch up with Hayden. Quick pause, Mike, have you got him?
Starting point is 00:34:09 No, Danny. Or you and I. I'm not, I never have. Good boy. This is exciting. We're downstairs, we're in the ballroom. Hayden, you just arrived. I'll have to fly up with the kid.
Starting point is 00:34:18 That was good. Yeah, very well. You're going to be beautiful, boy. And I'm doing his having his shoes. That's the best. I'm going to be a little bit more. I'm going to be a little bit more. I'm going to be a little bit more. I'm going to be a little bit more. I'm going to be a little bit more. I'm going to be a little bit more. This is exciting. We're downstairs, we're in the ballroom. Hayden, you just arrived. He'll have the flight with the kid. That's good.
Starting point is 00:34:26 Yeah, very well. You beat people with a ballroom. And he's having his news outside. I'm but don't see him. Dad's in here about to just set the world on fire. Make waves. And create a few nightmares for the flies that we see in the container in front of us. These are your target flies. We are now doing the traditional inspecting of the flies and you're happy with these as a target.
Starting point is 00:34:47 Some are already dead, but yeah, some are alive. I think they're about to be released. We'll only release the live ones. We'll release live ones. We'll have those 10 live flies in there. Are you used to this as a standard size? Yeah, no, they look pretty normal. They look like flies.
Starting point is 00:34:59 For people at home, we're in the boardroom, which they normally do nice meetings in. So they're a bit disappointed that we're just going to release test lines. It's shock you to find out this is the first time it's ever been a fly call or see. That's hope for you again catch more. We have put paper over all the vents just because we didn't want any flies to get away. We hate you to get done on a loa pole. The rules were we're going to release 10 flies.
Starting point is 00:35:23 You have five minutes to bring back seven. Five to seven, okay. You bring us seven corpses laid out here on the table, you run yourself a one coin coin. You bring us nine or ten, that's an eight coin coin. Phase one will go outside, one of us will stay in here and release 10 flies, then we'll release the Hayden. We should give the flies time to figure out their environment. One was for staying here and release 10 flies. Then we'll release the Hayden. As soon as you give the flies time to figure out their environment. Good if they can settle here.
Starting point is 00:35:51 Yeah, then it'll be up to Hayden. As soon as he opens that door, the clock will start. And you're a physically strong man. I see. You've got a weightlifting logo on your hands. Oh yeah, fair point. Is it a speed game or on your hands. Oh yeah. Fair fight. Is it a speed game or a strength game?
Starting point is 00:36:07 A speed, yeah. Yeah, I'm right. And you have a partner, do you? Yeah. Did you tell her that you were doing this? Yeah. And what was her response? She's thinking, I like most people, they didn't believe me.
Starting point is 00:36:18 Right. When you said I was taking a hunt around for a bit, you said, just down the shop, so I just down to pick a courier. So it took a while for her to come around. How long was the flight? just taking our hunt around for a bit. You just say, just down the shop, so just down to pick a quarrier. So it took a while for her to come around, but that one was a fight. Our two and a half hours, and we missed the first fight, so had to get another fight.
Starting point is 00:36:33 I don't understand that we've got you pretty much going straight back to the air, but after this, mate. Hunter must have sent you the whole thing. He's fast asleep outside. He hasn't moved, so fast so good, yeah. We're all legit. All right, well, hey, do you want to head outside at Hayden? Yeah, I'll release 10.
Starting point is 00:36:47 Oh, yeah, make sure you don't get any of the dead ones out. She wouldn't believe her heart would get 10 flies out. I was going to say that's the special skill in itself. Whoever did that should be on here. It's been a rigmarole. That's the sport. And is the sport coming out with me, how does it go? You can get inside the mind of the athlete, Ham.
Starting point is 00:37:03 What do you got to do? And You can get inside the mind of the athlete, him. Remember what I'm doing. What you got to do. And I'll get inside the mind of these. Do you hang back from the fly and then do you move in on a very fast motion, or is it? No, I'm a surprise. So get within the range. Yep. And you would clap or slap?
Starting point is 00:37:17 I like the monkey with the symbols. Yeah, that's how you do it. And you're aiming for above the fly. Of course, yeah. Gotcha. OK, well Andy's inspecting the fly is now it shouldn't be too long. It looks like he's trying to figure out
Starting point is 00:37:28 how to get the live ones out and keep the dead ones in there. I am nervous for Hayden, just looking at these flies. They seem active. They seem excited. They seem focused. heavily motivated, I'd say. They're trying, trying to count them as they come out. I've seen them excited, they seem focused, heavily motivated, I'd say. They're trying to count them as they come out.
Starting point is 00:37:48 One has been released. Two. Three. What's your previous record? Probably seven, seven and eight minutes or something like that. You've never done anything like seven and five minutes. Well, I haven't had that many in one area at a go, so it's usually every self and they.
Starting point is 00:38:09 Well often, you know, if you don't have the facilities, you can't set the record. So for you, this is like the other house. Yeah, this is a huge trait for you to have this. Of course. Like someone who's good at skiing, that lives in the Northern Territory, traveling to Canada, and just going well, the conditions are the Northern Territory, traveling to Canada.
Starting point is 00:38:26 And just going well, the conditions are incredible. I've never had anything like this. He's chance to say to PB. Hey, exactly. Okay, and as nervous about getting him out. Yeah, not as easy as that hoax. Hurry up. One's out, Emma.
Starting point is 00:38:40 One's out. I'll put five out. Oh, great. Give him a little tap on the bottom of the can. Here comes two more ready to go and play. Up the top, they go. Number seven's Lange for launch. Eight is waiting for clearance and clear to take off.
Starting point is 00:38:55 That is number eight. Now that you can see them fly around there and you're assessing your targets. What's going through your head at the moment? I'll be looking for. Hopefully they rest on a flat surface. It's going to be easier than on the walls. They do seem to be favoring the glass.
Starting point is 00:39:12 Yeah, no. It's not tricky. Yeah, it could be interesting, but I don't have to clean the glass, do I? Nope. We have 10, been released. 10 lifelies. 10 lifelies. Hayden.
Starting point is 00:39:23 I actually now don't like your chances. I was in there, they were looking quick, they're looking focused and they were athletic flies. There's one that's just wandering around in the table. If you want to get the confidence, they're pretty calm. I'm surprised with all the time. I was like, I was like, I'm going to go.
Starting point is 00:39:38 The bend, I mean, the height and seek element is going to be the real battle. Yeah, it's, they're looking, it's all dark, so pretty calm flies. Right, the moment battle. Yeah, it's all dark, so it's pretty camouflage. Right, the moment Vegas has the flies at $1.60 in your $2.15, but let's see if the bookies have got it wrong. So once the door opens, fuck starts. Bad news for you, I think we've lost the guy off the table.
Starting point is 00:39:59 Jeez, he's really catered. Yeah, just finding ten in there is going to be tricky. Mate. Thank you. It's like, and your mark is going, he's got it. He's in. What's he doing? He's looking around. He's looking for the table.
Starting point is 00:40:12 He's just getting the lay of the land at the moment. He's looking for his first kill. He's got a definitely 10 in here. Hey, he's looking for his first kill. He wants him. Where are they? The rain's part of the spot. They're hunting one down.
Starting point is 00:40:24 If one gets in the house, you've got to find it. Finding it's the hardest bit out. It is true, it's true, and maybe he'll get a run on. He was a time check, hasn't got him. He's been able to see him one. He's going, look at the way he's moving. Oh! Did he get it?
Starting point is 00:40:36 Oh, did he get it? He's f**king fuzzy. It wasn't enough power. This one is your camera right in front of your face. Oh, he's on the door. That's three shots. Oh god, he's good. That was five. That's five.
Starting point is 00:40:48 Look at him going. He's in 40 seconds. How many kills? That's five from five. I can't help you. Don't help him. Sorry. I can't help it.
Starting point is 00:40:59 Look at how fast he is. The technique on the door. I reckon that one got away. Yeah. That one got away? No, that's not. I got, he's absolutely fountains rhythm. That hasn't he?
Starting point is 00:41:15 He knows they're on the glass. Are we up to seven yet? We clopped? Give us a body count. Oh. Can you pick up and put them on the table? But the clock's still running man. It's a good point, don't you?
Starting point is 00:41:25 Yeah, but, all right, we'll remember where the clock's at. Sorry, everyone, for interrupting your workday. I'm Hayden now, Scales, the building. He took the easy ones off the window, but there are some easy ones. I would say he only needs, I would say one maybe, because early did seven. He looks confident.
Starting point is 00:41:44 It's only a minute 45, he's found another one. Here we go. Ah! It's the power and the pace with which he executes. Oh my god, he's gonna get him all. That's seven. Is that seven? He's got a pace.
Starting point is 00:41:57 That's two. Really? He's got it. Oh my god, I think that's eight. Eight from eight hits. And no one's happier than the actual office workers here. They'll have to use this boardroom after this. Seriously, no. Before I play, he's absolutely cutting through the board.
Starting point is 00:42:14 He's got eight in two minutes 20. He's going to get that coin coin, and because I did say nine or ten is an eight coin coin, did you? So he's stuck at eight. And if he can't find the remaining remaining two flies, they are the key. They are the key for the acoin coin. You are the key for the acoin coin. You are the key for the acoin coin. I said it in there, I said it in front of you. But now if these two flies can hide out long enough, they will deny him the acoin. Amazing. He's got the acoin. Look, this is like a horror movie. This is like a saw. He's just walking around and these flies are in there somewhere terrifying.
Starting point is 00:42:47 Good and formentor is in the building. Good instinct, he's going to the bin. Oh, that's clever. Inside the mind of a fly. Yeah. He's at three minutes 30 now. He's rubbing the walls. Yeah, he's rubbing along the top of the TV.
Starting point is 00:43:00 Yeah. At this stage, you'd want to be causing a bit of commotion and then when you're like stirring them up. Yep. Absolutely. I did offer one fly, a camouflage suit. So maybe it's just sitting in. It turns out that wall's perfect camouflage for a fly.
Starting point is 00:43:17 It could be worn that way, but I just not see it. One minute to go. One minute, hold up. I don't know, I can't find a man. Are we company, you got the seven? I got seven. I think you might be on a, I don't think you'd be at nine. So why don't know, I can't find him. Are we company? You got the seven? I got the seven. I think you might be on that. I don't think you'd be at nine.
Starting point is 00:43:27 So why don't he... He's a seven-a-little little. I mean, he's got me. I can hear him tapping around a minute. These are the two smartest fires. I mean, they've seen an absolute massacre. Yeah, I've gone, hang, hey, stay. Hang back, just hang back.
Starting point is 00:43:40 There's guys in there. There's guys in there. He's got only got five minutes. He's gonna be at three feet. I think he's gonna come after us. He was got five minutes. He's gonna be a big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big Did you know it in the coin? Is it like the other no deal where we have to show the flies to show at the end? You know they show the other cases. That's it. Hey no, time, time. Time. We won't.
Starting point is 00:44:11 Stephen, would you like to collect the corpses for the viewing? Yes, sir. Try and keep an in-tax. We need to see full flies. It's on the middle finger. Yeah, the grass. He said this was part of his ritual at home as well. Laying them out.
Starting point is 00:44:23 Laying them out. It's a barbaric sport. What can you say on the day like one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, I see seven. Two, eight. Eight. Is that it, eight? I think he's got eight. I think he's fallen just short.
Starting point is 00:44:37 He's now scraping bits of dirt on the floor, hoping that there will fly. We're going to come in for the official count. Sshhh. We'll make our way around here. Hey, congratulations. Thank you gonna come in for the official count. Ssh, wake our way around here. Hey, congratulations. I think so. I'll start a fly. I'm just gonna give you an elbow there
Starting point is 00:44:49 because I saw those hands did. Yeah. Um, home. Let's go for the official count. I can't see anymore. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. He's done it. He's got eight.
Starting point is 00:45:02 He's got one coin coin. No! You were denied by the remaining two flies. Denied the eight coin coin. I promise you I'll let you. I don't know. Is our job now to find the other two to prove it? It's proof.
Starting point is 00:45:18 This will be too long. Let's assume that I didn't lie. It was crazy how most of them went to the window, wasn't it? Yeah, it worked out. Talk us through. When you realise that they were all grouped on the window, and you could see victory within your sights. Did you have any internal dialogue there? It's just got to look staphos.
Starting point is 00:45:41 It's got to stay composed, yeah. Just get clean kills. Prove it's on the task of hand, yeah. Any of them give you any hassles or they will clean things. I think it was one or two that took two guys. Yeah. So thought I'd use the left hand,
Starting point is 00:45:53 switch it up a bit, so. Five, I'm not gonna pick out, I loved it. I don't know, I don't know, wish you started being awake to see that. You do, you do. Mate, congratulations. Amazing. You are now one of the select few
Starting point is 00:46:03 that have a hand machine Andy. Fantastic. Fantastic. One coin. Thank you. I'd be thanks so much. Thank you. And any messy depth to young fly spotters out there. No. If you're enough, keep your hands keep the keep the keep. What would you say, Angela? You're probably going to say it. I'm going to say it.
Starting point is 00:46:19 It's a team. Thanks for listening. The Hamish Nandie podcast will return next week. Catch up or contribute at hamishanandie.com.

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