Hamish & Andy - Hamish & Andy 2019 Ep 70
Episode Date: September 18, 20191. Footy Finals 2. Upset Andy 3. Two and a half guesses4. Hamish in Ibiza5. Power Moves 6. Jack the dimmy inspector...
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A Hoi Ham! A Hooy to you, Jacko!
Ahoy!
And Ahoy all, because, in particular, Ahoy to Joel found it very easy to download...
What he was up to today.
Oh, you mean upload?
Downloading's fine, the upload, that's the best.
Come upload an audio message to what he's up to today.
I appreciate all our international pod international podcasts who really make the effort
and get through the urge,
who was tasked with having to select all the files.
Got to actually get an email during the week
from a guy called Tom.
He has sent me a CV.
Okay.
Because he specializes in web development,
HTML, CSS, bunch of other things.
He said, listen, I seem to have consistent complaints
regarding uploads. Only one for me. And I mate, we hear people all the time going, try to attach
something, couldn't do it, fell asleep, woke up two days later, never seen it, wandered
off into the bush. He goes, look, touch past for me, I'll try and fix it, mate. I appreciate
the effort, Tom, but it's impossible to fix. You can't, I mean, we know the solution,
what's that? It's got a what's that? It's that. Uh, anyonewhere one button, and then you release the button and it's for a couple of minutes.
They're flooding in, it's going to be fun.
Joel, very small fly.
From Scotland.
Hello, hey, Mr. Nanday.
This is Joel and Harmony.
We're driving up the Highlands of Scotland right now.
And Harmony's got your three books of,
do not open this book, currently reading in the back.
As you can hear, she's up to the bit of Nessie.
She's dangerous, seriously.
She's starting to have a page.
She's got a bit of an Australian accent, that's because I'm Australian too.
I'm just putting an accent on because you don't see any good obvious on this part of the podcast.
Anyway, cheerio boys, hoi and have a birthday any.
He wasn't a bad Scottish artist.
I thought I was gonna go,
geez, Scottish accent always sound like they're
like straight.
Like straight.
Very not a bad, not a bad one.
I aim, footy finals time at his at the moment.
Probably league and the AFL ham.
And I had a, I thought I wanted a hypothetical came up on nutrition based
Oh, yeah, or to throw it you and then we've got up
One of the I think extension the conditioning coach or a new nutrition guy from the AFL one hand in hand
They go hand in hand and though
Phil one of our mates who who works there Phil clubs to I mean we, I mean, you've got to include Jack on this
if this is a nutrition question too,
because he's been on a journey.
Yes, you have been with the eating and...
Yes, well, I'm trying to put on weight.
Jack's the same weight as us now.
He got to 87 kilos.
Yeah, I'm 10, man.
And I think he was about 30 just up.
Yeah.
It's been a real, and people have noticed Jack haven't they?
I don't know.
I don't know. I don't know.
He has been mad at Jack Havanay.
Why are we so alive?
There are lots of people that are treating every time she sees you like at the end of
night.
I think we've got a borderline HR issue every time Jack comes in.
Jack said we're in cushions around his arms since they don't get squeezed by lots of.
So here's the question I had.
Yeah.
Here's the hypothetical.
It's the grand final.
It's three quarter time or it's half time in league.
I'm familiar with the thing.
It's a really hot day.
It's a hot final.
Everyone's dehydrated and they're out of water.
They're run out of water.
Both teams not even allowed to run to the boundary to get an expectators water. To run out of water. Both teams not even allowed to run to the boundary to get
an expectators water. No, the whole stadium because the whole day is the whole stadium is out of water.
No taps. No taps. It's such a hot day. Yeah, it's a very hot day. But then someone from the bar
goes, they're still serving carton draft. Right. Is it better for the players to have two points of
of beer at pre-quarter time?
If you're severely dehydrated.
Well, they would have been...
Yeah, of course.
But I didn't know if they had just finished
their last drink.
Their last drink.
No, they ran out of half time.
They ran out of half time.
So they're very plain.
Okay, that's important.
So they've very plain a quarter football.
They're quite a quarter football.
So you're very dehydrated.
And now your body needs water.
Yeah, needs fluid.
Yep.
And it needs electrolytes.
The trade-off is the cognitive impairment of alcohol.
Yes.
Do they have mids?
They have mid-string.
No, mids are wild.
Which is the opposite of what happens to triquantrum.
So only full strength beer.
They've got full strength beer.
How much would it be better than having nothing?
My vibe is here.
What are the toilets?
Could someone get a...
There's no system.
There's no...
You can't get a bit of water out of the system.
The toilets are run dry as well, though.
That would be the winning team.
The winning team would go,
they'd be like, we didn't have the beer, we were toilet water.
There's no running water.
Everyone's already drunk the system.
Yeah.
But they've stayed at the ground and they're still pretty well-bought.
Okay.
I get it.
Are they better?
The only option is a nice cold, cut and draft.
Yes.
Two of them.
Well, I wouldn't, that's what I'd like to ask Phil.
Is there an amount that you would want to put in?
Yeah.
Is it zero?
Is it like...
Because I think beer actually does hydrate you
It's I know it's a diuretic alcohol, but it still has a hydrating of it still taking a lot of fluid
Yeah, and I don't think the dehydration kicks in until you begin to like process the alcohol to your staking hangover
I think we've got fill up now. I don't think you've heard any of that fill you're there. Welcome. Oh,
Thank you very much for taking the call.
This is a real, this is a question you need to be on top of coming into finals.
Am I not happy? For reasons you're about to hear in a moment, but it might,
and it would be good to be on top of it. Phil, what's your official role this
I get at right the time? I mean, are you strengthening conditioning?
Yeah, it is strengthening, that's right.
Who would be head of hydration and fluids I was
generally the nutritionist yeah right I can but you would chat to the new
each other boys have a drink and the women to have it all the time keep your
mitochondria soaked okay here's here's the hypothetical film it's a grand
final yeah in fact you've been you've you've used part of Hawthorne 3-better things.
Oh, right.
So you know, you know it well.
You, it's three-quarter time.
The stadium has run out of water at half time.
And that includes you guys too.
Yeah.
So there's a,
heads will roll in the aftermath,
but not breathing enough gatorades.
But just to cheer, this is the case.
There's a zero fresh water or gatorade
or sport strings available.
In fact, there's no fluids.
And there's no running water.
You can't go to the bathroom or anything.
It's just the taps are dry.
Someone from the bar...
I already asked you,
you can't drink the water out of the system of the toilet.
Someone from the bar yells
the carton draft taps still running.
At this stage, you'd begin to smell a wrap that carton draft tap still running. At this stage you begin to smell a rapid carton draft and set this up at some sort of
sponsored moment.
So the option is, do we give our team beer or do we not give our team beer or run a
money, run a money empty?
And the head coach has run to his head of strength and conditioning and the nutrition.
The nutrition that's passed out from dehydration, he's fainted as a few of the support
hard stuff have it's on you it's on you it's on you feel uh what do we do would you give them
is it better with the baby better off having a few points of beer or having nothing at all
oh the straight answer is nothing at all.
Sorry to be boring.
Oh, right.
Yeah, if you're already day-hot-dried and you're going to put our whole India 15, that's
probably going to entail their judgement a little bit.
That is a bit tight off.
Give them a bit of pep though.
Is it a little bit of courage?
What about if it was a 10 minutes to go?
You've got adrenaline as well there too.
So you think there's no hydration?
No, no, it'll go the other way.
It'll go the other way without going on.
Do you hydrate them further?
Do you hydrate them further?
But if you got like maybe five minutes to go and you're about 50 points.
Yeah.
Have a celebratory.
Different feel.
Feel.
Honest question here too.
Let's assume since we had fluid still half time,
the support staff, you guys have all been obviously
having a few drinks.
Haven't noticed the eski running for.
You've all been having water and gatorade too
because you're all working hard.
What about urine?
I thought you were going to go there. I really did.
Desperate times, it is a grand final.
Yeah, I just don't think you can do it.
Yeah, it's done a lot right.
Probably going to stick.
And also mentally it'd be.
And then you can get the supporters and there's absolutely no water and then you suddenly
say they're playing drinking some sort of yellow fluid.
Yeah, it's probably not real or great.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
On the business.
On the business.
Very good to talk.
That's why he said, what about this?
In some African communities, like in the Sahara, the Masa-Mara people, right?
This I learned this one, I was many years ago on Safari, no water is drunk,
sometimes for days, but they subsist often of milk or blood.
That gives them the hydration they need.
What about blood?
Could you drink blood?
Well, you could, you really could.
There we are.
Again, graphics sense.
A graphics sense of thr questions of it would always be
remembered as the vampire grandfather.
And I'd say for the
you saying all this we've got a new head of performance at the footy club.
There are rumors that he went away with
ports and Dubai and basically told them they couldn't drink any water during
their training sessions to mentally work them.
So wow. I don't know if that helps you with the answer in question. drink any water during their training sessions to mentally work them. Wow.
I don't know if that helps you with the answer in question, but...
Yeah, that could be better trained.
Can you be better trained to being dehydrated?
Possibly.
Your body might become...
Or used to it.
More immune to being dehydrated and become more comfortable being dehydrated, yeah.
Oh, wow.
I feel fantastic.
Let's hope that this grand final isn't marred by water shortage or any sort of urine or blood
feast. It would love to see someone come off with
five years to go and down a pond. Well we have you in that position to do it.
See you mate. Thanks Eams.
Mad y'all. Bye.
Bye. Bye. Because that's the way he likes it. But what if it wasn't?
Upset Andy!
We got two men in here, we got three men in here. One is Switzerland.
He straddles both countries and is it allied to both.
I would say you're probably more fast than Lucille Jackpin.
Well who's going to be the Nazis?
It doesn't always have to be the Nazis. It was World War II.
It was current day switzily.
You know, just making chocolate and watches and having super expensive...
I'm switzily.
Just not delving into international problems.
Just building up a big army and an ally with anyone.
Whoa.
But, yeah, obviously Andy, an answer to your question.
And... But I would say Jack... But yeah, obviously Andy, an answer to your question.
And I would say Jack, Jack lives his life potentially more far more unstructured.
Yeah, see what happens.
Yeah, sure, well, appreciate your alliance.
And first and loose is no walk in the park.
Obviously, the benefits are enormous, but sometimes, particularly if you organize to meet
at the park at 12, they're not there.
Sometimes it's a run at the beach instead of walking the park because he's got time to
go to the park.
And you like him with a structure.
I mean, here's a great example of how, where we have our TV production company.
We have an ungarage underneath us.
Now I've been parking in the street because he's got time to get a clicker.
Lost my clicker.
Now, sometimes you get hit with a find.
Okay.
That's the law.
Cool.
If that's the way they want to play it, I choose not to participate in that system. I think it would be a bit more fun if we could all
park where we want. But there's some guys in the cubers that give me funds. So you know what?
Marta's will get a clicker. Now I got a clicker. Went upstairs, put in my pocket and didn't make it
into the car. I've lost the clicker again. So you're a first day of parking in the office. No,
I didn't ever got in there. And that's just, that's a reality being
fast on this, but you know what? I'd rather be that guy and just go
soon, you know what? I need another quick.
And the thing about quick is, they're making a lot of them.
No, they're making a lot of them. There is a surplus of quick is in the world.
It's fine. It's just these are the hiccups.
But I understand it's a new problem. What's that?
Now Sue's problem. That's why you have support problem. What's that? Now Sue's problem.
That's why you have support teams.
No.
But what's his job?
100%.
No, actually, he sent me a little message saying, thank you for this, because I gave us a chance
to work together closer and we both grew a lot from it.
So we're on to clicking number three.
Tell us who this is.
I don't keep him.
I delete him.
I delete my messages.
He's got time to go back and bring it all on.
And I, but I'm not the only person that upsets you.
Alex, have you got something to upset, Ando?
I do.
Can I boys say go?
Very good.
What have you got?
I have a rough Annie.
I've got him already.
Round two, go for it.
I seem to want to garage click his, there's a surplus of loyalty cards for local cafes.
I currently have about, I think I've counted eight at my last count for the one cafe.
Yeah, consolidate them mate.
You can take the pool in.
Will you have a drink for this then?
Will you ever just go hand over 10 with one punch in and then go give us my free coffee?
Don't eat twice.
I'd prefer to consolidate them mate.
Just, just want to clean it up.
Clean it up. Clean it up.
Nice and free coffee in a week.
You know what I sometimes do at my local cafe?
I sometimes go, that's been about 10.
I just go, look I'm not doing the card thing, I'll never keep it.
I reckon that's been about 10.
Because it worked for you.
Yeah, I got it right.
It's just a coffee.
What have you got? Hey guys. work for you. Yeah, they go right. They go. That is just a coffee. Hey, Kate.
What have you got?
Hey guys.
Oh, okay.
Have you got something to upset Andy?
I do have something that might upset Andy.
So when I get out of the shower, I get the towel and kind of wrap around myself, give
myself a quick drive, but really I just like the clothes to wear.
No, not fully dry.
Not fully dry.
Yeah, dry yourself.
Who's got the time, can't honestly,
with all the stuff we've got to do these days.
What is it like you've been sweating?
All the stuff that needs to be done these days,
you've got forms to fill out.
You've got tax time probably from a few years ago.
You've got a lot of stuff on Netflix to watch at the moment.
Like, who's walking around dry?
I'm solving a key here or a slip.
I mean, I hear you mate.
I hear, I always forget to drive the back of my thighs.
Often I'll jump into bed and go, oh, yeah.
Why does it feel like you lightly wet the bed, you know?
Back of the thighs got me again. They're a long way away from where the operation center
is above my neck. It's like having, I guess, like a distant regional office.
Yeah, you're not in the same position to the top of my
business office.
It's also behind the hill.
Yes, I'm sorry guys.
If you were in front of the CEO a bit more,
you would get more attention, but you're not.
Hannah, who are you?
Oh, hey.
Oh, hey Hannah, what have you got to say that might upset Andy?
So when I go to the book shop and I'm looking for a
particular book, I don't scan the shelf in any particular order.
I just dot my eyes around and find what I was.
I got it.
I got it. You've got him, Adam. Adam! Adam! Adam!
Adam!
Adam!
Hannah, who has got time for that?
Look at him.
You're the one who's exhausted.
You were Sager and you might just set it first time, and off you just doing your big little thing.
Exactly.
That's the fun of knowing you could get it any moment.
Hannah, you've got an easily saved time by looking up.
Who's got time to save time? F up. See, the section to save time.
Fiction, non-fiction.
Inventure.
The darn method, it weird.
Yeah, go the darn alphabetical.
That's all we have to do.
Sorry, Hannah, I'm already asleep with C2 Andy's method.
God, I'm already bought my book.
Yeah, well, that is darting around.
Get in there and darn, Hannah, you might get it first, go.
And then you're ahead for the day.
Thank you, Heather.
Karan, I think it is. Is that how we pronounce your name?
Karan. Karan, sorry Karan. Karan, what have you got to
up, Senandi? So instead of clicking attending, or as we think of
Anton Beads, I just turn up or not and keep everyone guessing.
You don't say you're going to be any of them. You're so adorable.
Karan, I kind of wish we just picked up the phone and went Karani there and maybe you are
maybe not.
What's your best surprise?
Like what's the highest level of function you have an RSVP to and then gone to one?
Recently I was speaking at a kind of a launch event and just hadn't bothered for a while.
You were speaking? Yeah. Yeah. You were a fire event and just having fun with for a car. You were speaking for, yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. You're a firecracker car. I don't know. I love it. So
a little week or I know. No one. How could you be annoying
you're a firecracker? There's never been annoyed by a firecracker.
Thanks, mate. Jake, wrap this up for us. Oh, how do you
mate? How are you doing? Oh, yeah, when I cook food out of
the pack of hot chips, I don't check how much I'm going to be
cooking. I just pour the packet blindly out for a second and two and however much comes out I eat
So you measure in time not weight or volume you just you don't have time Lisa. Yeah, it's got time
He's got time for anything
Wow I'm going to go make your round of time. And a special skill came into my side of the fence from one of our valued and important
podcasts as Jake.
If you knew to the podcast, go back.
Go back, but feel like the form we love it when people feel like this form. You could be a light Jake. If you knew to the podcast, go back. Go back. Go back.
But feel like the form.
We love it when people feel like this form.
You could be like Jake.
And also, we should point out this is clarified.
Yeah, half the emails go to home, half go to me, so we surprise each other.
Jake's got a superhuman skill.
Certainly of the realms where I think we'd, okay, if this is true, this could impress us.
Here's the reason, here's the gray area for me.
It's to do with a TV show that I know neither
of us care about. The question being, can you be impressed or by someone's non-vergittive
show you have zero care for? Maybe even some disdainful. Wow, okay. That level.
That's a rest in an arena of disdain. Is it a reality show? It's not. Okay. That's
normally where the disdain for mine is. It's a three camera. It's a sick comp. Okay. That's normally where the disdain from mine is. It's a free camera.
It's a thick comp.
It's a thick comp.
Okay.
Can it test-sisting of two and a half men?
Well, can I say this about two and a half men?
You can.
I respect what it did as it liked.
I was like with maps, I mean, sure.
You attracted two million viewers.
That's hard to do. And it wasn't personally hooked on it,
but I understand the volume you pumped through the door.
And I also respect it had a name for its show
that wasn't just two people's names,
because it seems like a lot of sitcoms come out
called Jake and Stacey or...
Yep.
...Sick of them.
Jason S's.
It was the description of three characters that it wasn't the name of any of them. Jay Zinesis, it was the description of three characters.
Yeah, that it wasn't the name of any of them.
So what are you proposing today?
Here's Jake.
Jake joins us on the line.
Jake, how are you mate?
Good, boys.
How are you?
Very good.
Very good, Jake.
You have written, you can correctly identify the season and episode number of any two and
a half man episode by synopsis.
That is correct.
If it isn't the Charlie Sheen era,
so you're not interested in Kutcher.
No, absolutely not.
I learned to Kutcher last on the show.
Again, I never saw an app of his,
but I know you jumped in.
Two C's of you by guess.
He was on for four C's and four C's.
Four C's, no.
He's got even more about those.
We were on the C's.
Two and a half C's too many.
How many Epsin C's in Jake?
Oh, I think it was roughly 24. Except for C for season 8, there was about 12, I think.
Was that during the argument with Chuck or Charlie Shane?
That's the one, yeah. You know your seasons, you know your numbers?
Jesus, could you just done 100 episodes or two and half, man?
And it's still... Not a good one.
Okay, Jake, here we go.
How have you set it up, him?
Jake, I will be impressed with this.
What are you reckonin' to do?
We do three?
Three.
I think I did three from three.
I'm happy with that, because I don't want to hear another one.
I don't want to do, yeah, you don't want to hear another one.
You have to hear 100%.
I'm gonna say five, and by that stage is like,
no, I didn't watch it for a reason.
Yeah.
So three from three, you need a hundred percent hit rate, and you'll get yourself a coin.
Now, Jake, are you going to give us the title of the episode as well?
Because each one had a title like our friends have got, you know, the one with the ball guy from the coffee shop.
Yep. I don't know if that.
Oh.
But, or you just give us the season in the episode.
I mean, I could try.
No, I'd be like, no, that's all right. Just, that's all you said. Just season, it's like, you know, season two, episode three, that's what you'll give us the season and the episode. I mean, I could try. No, I'd be like, no, that's all you said.
Just season, it's like, you know, season two,
episode three, that's what you'll give us.
Yeah, okay, sweet.
Is this because you torrented them in there?
And you just remember all the season numbers?
No, we had them on DVD and I used to watch them all the time.
When I was about 12.
All right, all right.
If you pay your money, you saw it legally. all the time when I was about 12. All right. All right. All right.
If I can't put it in.
If you pay your money, you'll saw it legally.
We'll allow it.
Let's get into this.
Okay, here we go.
This is the first episode for you to try,
although of course not, I'll give you a clue here,
not the first episode ever made of two and a half men.
Ah, it's a flip.
Sonalcis.
Charlie wants to dump a female friend that Jake has grown
close to, while Alan and Rose bond over a game of Scravel
It is revealed that Rose bonded with Alan to get closer to Charlie. Jake gets mad at Charlie for letting his girlfriend dump her
Wow
That seems like every episode
Not wrong there to be honest
or
Season four
episode 13.
I've been fair here, Jay, because I've given you, there's, I've got two choices of synopsis,
Wikipedia, I'm D.B.
And I've done the long one.
Yeah.
So, it was, I mean, it was season one episode, no, I stopped.
So not quite, not quite.
So in the interest, I can see that it the interest, do we make it sporting?
Do we make it sporting?
What?
What sporting?
Well, I mean, keep going.
We'll be certainly impressed with two out of three.
No, I will, just keep going.
We just keep going.
We can't win anything.
Do we make it sporting in the sense that sometimes in sports,
you see people fail badly?
Yes, yes.
We'll make it sporting.
Here we go.
Next episode, Charlie is dating a new woman. Now that go. Next episode. Charlie is dating a new woman.
Now that is a real episode. Charlie's dating a new woman, Lydia. Her attitude is exactly like his
mothers. After introducing her to Bertha, Alan and Jake, they can all see it, but Charlie still cannot.
Lydia and Bertha do not get on well with each other. Who's Bertha, Jake? She's the maid of Charlie.
Past and credit.
Great.
So what episode?
Season and episode.
Basically it seems like Charlie's dating a new girl.
If someone like his mother, that's the gist of the episode.
Famously.
Not as good as the Seinfeld episode,
where George is dating a Jerry.
Sounds very season three.
Right.
I think.
Yep.
I'd like to be to that in season three today.
And season three.
Season three episode.
Eight.
Season four.
Season four.
Episode six.
Damn.
All right.
Here we go.
We are creating a hall of shame for the end of the year.
Yeah. This is interesting, Jake. Let's wait till you get this one wrong and then we'll discuss what happens next.
Okay, sounds good.
Next episode's an obsis.
Chelsea becomes ill and Charlie has to look after. He's not thrilled about it, but he does try and ends up taking advice and help from Alan.
Who's Chelsea?
Oh, that was his fiance for two seasons.
Okay.
So that gives you a bit of a range finder.
Yeah, it's definitely season five.
Mm-hmm.
Um.
Episode 14.
Oh, season six, episode 18.
Oh,
Oh,
you're looking to season right, did you?
Maybe you're going to season. No, no, no, no, Jake he is where we keep going
We'll continue until you get on right. We'll continue for two more. Yeah, if you like yeah
If you get one right yeah, we won't mention how badly you've gone ever again. Yes
If you get one wrong you'd be getting you would be close to having claimed for being one of the worst skills
We've had on yes, would you like to keep going?
Absolutely, there you go next in office. Yeah, Jake is getting ready to start a new school and he advances nothing to win here though
You are just trying out to stay out of hell you can never go to heaven
But you are trying to stay out of hell
Jake is getting ready to start a new school as he advances to junior high is Jake the half-man
Getting ready to start a new score is he advances to junior high. Is Jake the half man?
He's half man.
I'm not trying to get mad at him.
I'm learning a bit about that.
Jake is getting ready to start a new score is he advances to junior high.
But his dad and uncle's scary stories might end his academic career a bit early.
Okay, junior high.
It can't be season one mate.
He was barely half a bandit.
He's almost 75% of a man now.
He's going to junior high.
Oh, season four.
Yep.
At the third.
Third.
Six and five.
It was one.
This is it.
Now comes the end of this.
Will this be one of the biggest stingers?
Well, there is ever grace.
Darkened the doorstep of the Handish and Early Podcast.
No. Since the Simpson's quote guy couldn't think of his own
Simpsons quote thing of a single thing that Homer says
Have we had someone this poor so far you haven't got a season correct?
Here comes your final synopsis
May you avoid the pits of hell
Charlie sees hello Od, Oddsar, you're going,
you're going right there, I'm deep into the flames.
Here we go.
Charlie sees an attractive ballet teacher named Mia
at a coffee shop, but she is uninterested in him,
causing him to go head over heels to win her.
Bad synopsis. Ahhhhhhhhh remember the episode is definitely season three I think
Now we're gonna episode remember you season three episode four is coming in 100% you haven't gonna episode you haven't got a season right?
Yes
Yeah, I'm 100 so season three episode four was your guess season three episode eight. Oh
Little closer, but
I mean it's not as impressive to go out of five shots at least once I'll get within four episodes if given this
It's Jake one of the worst. Please never say
All you want that can do that ever again.
Paul Shownius for Shor Jake.
I understand you definitely, I believe, you love the show,
but certainly you retained no information
about the seasons or episodes.
See you, mate.
Good on you, mate. Ando, we've had some interest from listeners that show people obviously curious to see
whatever happened last week, on last week's show, whatever happened in my adventures
over to Ibiza.
I was on a bit of a boys trip.
And as we all heard on last week's show, I managed to call, we called Guy Sebastian's phone,
we couldn't get through to Guy Sebastian in an attempt for me to get invited to James Bluntz House for a pool party,
because James Bluntz has a house in the Beafar.
So we left a message on Gossip Astions Phone as James Bluntz.
To trick guy into sending me James's number.
So you've seen it's been there, I saw on your Instagram.
Didn't see any photos of Bluntie.
No, it was.
Oh, none of Bluntie, no, no, but he,
well, I'll give you this.
What do you think I was gonna say?
Oh, of his house.
I didn't see.
Didn't see.
He would have seen a photo of his house.
Yeah, I just didn't see any photos of James Blunt.
That's okay.
Well, can I give you the story?
First of all, I mean, let's hurry one.
Did Guy Sebastian get back to you?
Certainly did, so that worked in absolute charm.
Because a lot of people are saying,
oh, your voice doesn't, you know,
it sounds quite a bit like James Bond
because the plan was to play James when I got onto him,
the audio of when he was on our show,
saying, visit me any time in Ibiza,
which I had dropped in, but down the phone line,
we thought we could get away with it,
might trick him into thinking he'd invited me. So in his embarrassment,, he'd be like, how can I make up for this? I'm
masked. I haven't invited you. What a pig. What a pig, I must. Roll out the red carpet.
Now, I don't want to give away the ending too much, but it works like a body charm. So, guy called
me back just before I left. Right. And with this message. Okay.
just before I left. Great.
And with this message, okay.
G'day, hey, Mish, it's Guy here mate.
Hey, just letting you know I've got a call from James Blunt
about him wanting you to come over to his house in Ibiza.
I'm just going to flick over.
He's number now to Spanish number,
and obviously it's private.
So yeah, just call that number.
And all the nights are catch up,
and all should go smoothly.
But that's all. Right, the fight you beat. Yeah, just call that number and organize a catch up and all should go smoothly
Right, you beat lucky duck as well because got that in the cab just as I'm getting to the airport to leave Australia Okay, man the boys we get there sends every James Plenty, you know, really private number land in Spain. I
Caught I text plenty and go home at TamaShare from Hamish Nandy.
You mentioned a few years ago in the show
that I should visit you any time in a beta.
I've come over with some friends.
He writes back going, well, I don't think I said that.
I give them a buzz playing the audio down the line.
How'd you do that?
What's that?
Hey. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha the boom box. I burn it under a CD before I went because I knew I didn't know when I'd see him. So I just, I was taking a boom box anyway. Yes, I beth. And you know, you should have one at all
times. I get to be for Club Island. So hit play on the CD. He goes, yep, okay, that's me.
That does check out. It feels a bit sheepish. So he goes, I'm going to be one of the big clubs tonight.
Come find me. I mean, I think it was, I was I don't think you mind me saying I think it was both 21. Yep
One of the private booths. Yeah, and so I said look what club. What's that?
Because I'm trying to remember so many details my ears have a lot of blinders
I'm trying to remember so many details. My ears have a lot of blood.
There's a lot of blood.
It's gone too.
You're brave.
My brain is trying to access so many of these things that happen.
The blood has gone for my ears.
What club was it?
Yeah.
I'm Ethan.
One of the big super clubs.
It's called Hi.
I'm Ethan.
H-I.
Huge club.
There's a billboard for it at the airport if you don't believe me.
Why do you sell it?
Why do you sell it from the billboard?
So it exists.
So we go there and I said, look, I thought I'd record it because I know you can't just
know.
There's people always with everyone's time if you just jump on a pogos and make up stories.
So, needed a bit of evidence.
But obviously, it's more of a friend hang.
It is then off the record hang.
So did you tell him your recording?
Do you not tell him I was recording?
Turn the iPhone on and I thought, look,
I just, that's why it's a little bit scratchy this audio,
but I just recorded off the phone as a voice memo.
Just the first meeting at the club.
Yes.
Because then the plan was hang at the club
to show that we're cool guys.
Then head back to his house.
Then the next day you get the invite to pull out the pool page.
He's house.
OK.
This is the club.
Two of you are any of some of these?
Oh my god, James.
Yes, James, how are you?
We made it.
Oh my god, yes.
Hey, Michelle, you're great to see you.
Chop.
Oh, Jolly good to meet you.
Do you find me in my private booth here in the club?
And I'll be there.
Great to see you.
Oh, cool pants.
Oh, thanks, man.
They're James. Yeah, right on. You're looking really cool. Great to see you. Oh cool pants. Oh thanks man, they're jeans.
Yeah right on, you're looking really cool.
Have some of my big bottle of vodka.
Oh thank you so much man.
Thanks for inviting us to your private booth.
Oh like I said when I was on the show,
visit me any time in the beta.
I didn't remember saying that but then when I heard
you played down the phone and it's me,
it's like me and I did feel that.
So everything's cool and above board
and I want you to come to my house for a pool party tomorrow.
Oh my god, yeah the fell isn't I, we love that. We don't really have many places to go so that is really nice.
We don't know where we should go, what's the address?
Hey, your girls. I'm right now down here on a piece of paper and I need to read it out. There you go.
Yep, that looks like an address here in the big though.
And I'll see at my house and one of the looks a little bit like a hotel.
But that's just a cool thing. I've done in no photos at the house.
I'm not going to take any photos with you.
You're in the sound of that perhaps a business journey.
Hey, my boy.
Hey, sure do you mean?
I might take one photo. You take one photo of us at your house.
But you don't have to be in the photo.
Oh, yeah, no, totally. That's fine.
We're just there to hang as boys and have a jolly good knees up.
Parts week. My chum. We sure are, to hang as boys and have a jolly good knees up. Hard to wing my chum.
We sure are mate. Let's stop all this chat and just spend the rest of
night enjoying the club and then I'll come to you. I have as organized for the full party tomorrow.
Yes, that's what I'm saying as well. So that's great.
Brutten's in page. Everything's all wiped out.
And Tickety good.
Great.
It's not a child's dickens, Carrington.
He's too big.
I also...
He's usually...
He is usually...
Actually, when you get to know him, that's what he's saying.
Because he should be, because he's a very, very deep guy.
And he should be a child's dickens character.
He's a very, very conventional guy.
He...
Hearing so, do you want to happen to him?
Hearing you...
No.
Well, we went to his house and it was a great fun.
Yeah.
And... Anyway, yeah, it's sort of a little sanctuary that he's got. I did... There is a photo of me... What happened to you? You and you, no. Well, we went to his house and it was great fun. Yeah.
Anyway, it's sort of a little sanctuary that he's got.
I did, there is a photo of me,
and a few of my friends on Instagram around his spa
on his rooftop.
And it's true, his house does like a little bit like a hotel.
But that's him.
That's in your mind.
And you realize he's doing does a lot of funny stuff
over in life.
Actually, he's actually known as the kind of the island joke.
I thought you had a pretty good James Blum voice
like in personation, until...
Well, I know, no need to impersonate anyone
of that real thing.
Until I heard it alongside your real voice.
It was times that I wasn't sure.
I think, you know, it was who.
You can tell because it switches left and right channels.
Because he was sort of a one-sided booth,
and I was on the other.
And the other guys you hear in the recording,
he's just so fast.
So if I bump into James Bond again,
he'll remember all this, yeah.
I'm not a bit.
No, seriously, thanks for having me, Jimmy.
We have it ball, really nice house.
Say hi to Margareta Forrest,
who that's his a surprise between us and
jokes.
Hame, it's time for...
Some palmous, thank you everybody for sending them in, homestay.com.
That is more announcement last weekend about a category we weren't interested in. There's
another one that's coming around again.
I've received a couple on in this vein.
So one of those ones we're like, yeah, guys,
don't write about a power move that you just, it's just a funny thing you thought of,
but you know, wouldn't work.
And I reckon this is done around maybe on Twitter or something.
Hey, when you go into a nightclub before the bounce or ask you for ID, ask them for ID.
That'd be so fuss.
No, they won't be so flustered. let you in. Like that's often the way
that's often the way it ends where they go, you know, they'll they'll they'll free
cat and you'll be in our dominant over them. They'll just say no. Like they might,
they might grab you ferociously and being as mad as. And not let you in.
And so it's not such a great move that it completely
disables the bouncer and they take off their
number and give it to you now.
I know you're the bouncer.
Hey, I'm Chris.
Yeah.
You can get off.
You said, haven't done it for a little while now, but if you've got a friend's birthday
or something, buy a goldfish for a pet store and give it to them in a plastic bag, particularly
in a public space.
Don't give them a bowl, stones, food, miniature castles,
but just leave them holding the fish in a sandwich bag.
Pretty good.
That's good.
Yeah.
I'm forced to eat it now, pair of interfish.
Yeah.
Because getting them out,
it's because they're real animal,
but a mammal is too much.
No, too much.
Wait a minute.
Yeah.
A bit of fish.
Spot up.
And out from Lucy. Great power move that a boyfriend felt prey to.
Specific one, but you can imagine it easily.
When I had to break into the group of six friends, four of us arrived together and sat down.
My boyfriend took off his jacket and hung out over the back of his chair.
He then received a work call and had to go outside to take it.
In the meantime, the last two people of our group arrived, but because they had already
occupied the premium seats,
one of the people that came late,
took off his jacket and placed it completely
over the top of the boyfriends jacket.
Therefore hiding it and claimed
what was my boyfriend's seat as his own.
Boyfriend returns to the table,
he's now confused because he's had his seat usurped,
he sees someone else's jacket on the back,
he's lost his jacket and he's relegated to the end.
Very good. Sent to Siberia. Oh, dang it man. Sorry, I'm the fake for having a Yamaha.
Bang is slow Yamaha, play the power moves.
I like that one.
Simple one from Mick Apple.
Power move.
When someone finishes a big project at work
with you when you had nothing to do with it.
He's not often him.
He says, he says, When someone finishes a big project at work with you,
when you had nothing to do with it,
just often he says.
He goes, make sure you get to the box first
and say, look, I have to give him most of the credit,
he did all the heavy lifting.
Yes, it's not lying.
It's not lying,
but you also look like very humble in front of the box.
Very good, Very good. Ah, and oh.
Celebrity power and move.
Oh.
Now, Ben Fordham.
Friend of the show.
Oh, really?
Friend of the show channel nine and radio legend,
and a joy and of the airwaves.
He listened to our podcast, even though he's just normally
listening to the teachers pet and chiming in about that 24-7. Well, he's on us. He's on us. Maybe he's usually just to flush out the teacher's pet and bit a lot relief.
Yeah. Now I apologize to him because this is an old email. I've gone through this from a few weeks ago.
Sometimes it takes us a while to get through the backlog, but it's about Father's Day.
So guys, I have you Father's Day, but ladily, to us and our Father's, I just pulled an impromptu
Father's Day power move. So Ben's obviously happened just pulled him in prompt you, Father's Day, power moves.
So Ben's obviously happened to been on the day
back on Father's Day and he's gone,
I gotta let the show know.
I was making an early morning call
to my mate, Matt's dad about something random
when I remembered it was Father's Day.
So instead of talking about the random thing,
I panicked, wait, I didn't panic,
I just immediately told him I was calling
to wish him a happy Father's Day.
Well, when he spoke to Matt's dad, he was blown away and said it was such a nice thing for me to do.
We had a great 15 minute chat and because it was before 8am, I knew my mate Matt wouldn't have called his dad yet.
At the end of the chat, he's dad said to me, I'll let Matt know you're called mate, it's very nice of you.
Can you imagine how awkward it's going to be for Matt when he loads it. I called his dad before he did. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha And special scores come in on my side of the fence on the form.
Questions about.
I don't know where this gentleman lives.
It could be in the state, which is why I thought we'd get him on the phone.
Right, so he didn't fill out what was in interest in the world.
Gavis' phone number, really quick email too.
Which makes me think he is a pro at this.
Okay.
Gavis, my special score is I can taste any dim sim blind folded and guess the brand
of which they come from.
Wow.
Says I prefer them steamed, but I can do them deep fried.
Now we go is steamed, we definitely.
So, am I, this is what I wanted to talk to you about
and to give him up, is this even possible?
How could you know all the dim sim brands?
I mean, I'll put my hand up and go,
I am not, it's not one of the food groups I cook at home.
It's only when I buy on the run.
I love a dimmy.
Yep.
But I would never know even one brand of a dim sim.
I mean, as you birds eye does them or whatever,
probably McCain, but how many varieties are there?
I don't.
If there's only one, is this a trick question?
I mean, I like mine from the market.
Yes.
It could be a brand, could be from here.
Self-melted market dimmies.
They're very famous.
Very famous.
But I don't have a go at, they're the big round home made ones.
But I also like, there's a place near the market
that just gives you a nice, classic white tube of a dimmy.
Right, one mouth full top.
And now that's coming from a packet, we know that.
Yep, but what brand?
Couldn't tell you.
You can tell you.
Jack joins us on the voice.
Yeah, a whole jack.
How are you mate?
Thanks for taking the call.
I've been asked to mate.
No need.
Jack.
Hey Jack, first of all, what are we talking about?
How many of the book at home dim sim or any, do you know the commercial brands?
I'll just go down to the local shopings like the shops like you call, you know, pick up your major brands like your marathon, you go and walk and sometimes
home brands. Yeah, right. So what spectrum of brands are we talking? How many are dozen?
Oh, more or more about six to seven, six, eight, six, yeah. So there's spakers half does.
I was six to eight. A dimmy does. Of six to eight, you could tell that this is,
this is a marathon, dimsim, this is a home brand.
Yeah, basically, yeah, yeah.
And you can tell by the shape of it,
that's why you don't want to fall in love.
Of course.
I wondered if it was an internal inspection to you.
I know this is a heavy on the cabbage,
so I know this is home brand.
If we would have set up this test, Jake,
to be, Jack, sorry, to be truly uh, Jack, sorry to be truly blind, would
you be comfortable with us chopping up the dim sim into, like, you want to spin into
the same kind of size.
So you can never, you can't pick one up and feel its weight.
Yep, I could, I could do that.
To purely taste, that's great.
So you can give it to you on a spoon and we just go right here's, you know, a, a, a
20 grams of dim sim, yeah, per dimmy that we give you.
Yep, so what is fried make it harder?
I'll cruise the oil.
Yeah, definitely.
You can see that in the bubbling of the butter.
Yeah, shock the tongue.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I appreciate it, Ian.
Jack, where about to you live?
I'll even add light.
Yeah, we're gonna have to get you across.
We're gonna have to get you across. We're gonna have to get you across.
Jack, would you be prepared to...
I mean, are there any Adelaide-specific brands?
You don't want to accidentally have like a farmer's union,
dim sim that's not available?
That's like a farm union, dais, dais.
I can't believe you.
And we have big M dim sims.
They did milk that or something horrible like that.
People not getting the reference.
That's a bit of a funny milk joke.
The two varieties of ice coffee.
Between states, abjane.
But we'll make sure we get something
that's available to Australia wide
and whose distributions analyze summer
on the South Australian Victorian border.
So there's no factory mix-ups.
Jack, let's put your money where your mouth is.
Straight after a dim sum will go in that same area. How many? Say if we
got five and we will only buy them from your Colesie Ewholes, how many out of five would you get by taste?
By taste?
Hmm.
Five.
Love him.
Yeah, clear your schedule.
You're confident, boys.
You've got it confident.
Yeah.
Just go in.
Just go in.
Just go in.
Yes.
And call it. Okay, mate.. We'll love this. We're
gonna steam him for you Jack and you gave us your preference. We'll honor that preference.
It would be, it's no fun if we fry him. We're not trying to trick you. We want to see your skill
in full flight. We'll see you over here soon, buddy. Thanks very much. We'll fly you over. Jack,
what's your schedule like? You got work, uni, studying, I got work, but I can't off night.
If we're sending him a gym, he'll be over overnight yeah what do you do for a job Jack I think the bus will be he'll come
to the party yeah no he's not don't worry yeah he's not coming
I don't know we're not inviting him over no this is a no for you but I'm just
thinking I'll come to the party in terms of supporting your sport oh yeah he
will oh yeah this is the main sport okay yeah well it's sort of like if you've I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I. See you, buddy. See you in the night. See you. I'll go up.
Bye.
Thanks for listening.
The Hamish Nandy podcast will return next week.
Catch up or contribute at hamishnandy.com.
you