Hamish & Andy - Hamish & Andy 2019 Ep 76
Episode Date: October 30, 20191. Memojis 2. Little Mermaid 3. Holistic dentist 4. Tunisia fan, if you’re listening… 5. Skill Off – Sam vs Annalise ...
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A list-snap production.
Activate your internet.
Because the Hamish and the podcast starts in three, two.
Sorry, still buffering.
One.
A hoi-hem.
A hoi-do-you-jack-o. A hoi-fifth last show of the year. 1 Hoi Hem! Hoi!
Hoi to you, Jacko!
Hoi!
5th last show of the year
as we rock it towards December, which we know the pentals of it.
Will you have to...
Pen's being fired?
535, yes.
Erm...
What if I've stumbled on something?
Yeah, you may have.
Erm...
And we all know that everyone has to fast...
the podcast. Podcast fasting, due to the podcast fasting due to over summer.
Over summer.
The summer fast and we'd love to work all the way through.
We can't.
But yeah, we get released back to do podcast, March Eve.
March Eve is usually the return.
Who knows, could it be April Eve this year after a particularly joyful summer where the grass
upper plays and plays on his violin?
We are of course the grass upper.
Jack unfortunately will be the aunt going back to work for commercial radio.
Possibly nine weeks before the podcast returns.
Before we get to dinner, what's the hidden something from Dubai?
I was just before we get to Dan, what's the hidden something from Dubai? I was just curious about Jack Summer.
Before we got to steal six weeks holiday,
it's very good.
You can't complain about that.
No one has ever complained about the radio workload.
Hey, it's not a job,
but you get tons of time off, isn't it?
Isn't it funny, though, that Jack
was the most anti-commercial radio of the three of us.
He made anti-commercial radio memes.
I still am.
I'm just a and you announced,
you're the only one working in commercial radio.
Wow.
Oh, come on, we're still working out today.
We're in a commercial radio building.
Not the way I see it.
No.
But we're sticking it to the man by podcasting,
which is the death of radio.
Yeah.
Not really, because commercial radio is dipping its foot
into podcasting, so.
Only because it's free.
It's free. I think we're all uneven grass.
Including Dan from Dubai.
This is what he's made up to.
Oh, boy, boys.
This is Dan from Dubai.
I'm not sure how long it's going to take to upload this file.
He's worried about it.
And reach you via electronic mail.
I'm going to hotel a resort for the weekend with my family.
And your Australian
national soccer team is also staying at the same hotel. They have turned one of the
rooms on the same floor as me for a physio room with a massage table for rubdowns
after their intense training. But they have also turned a full suite into a
PlayStation FIFA arena with snacks and scoreboard flip charts.
I hate to say it, but the FIFA room was always packed and the physio room was pretty empty.
Maybe the soccer room's next international fixture where we played over a PlayStation.
Anyway, cheers guys, I'm going to go for a rub down.
Jack, you were miving something here,
and I share your suspicions.
Was that a pre-prepared statement?
I mean, it sounded like he was reading it.
I'm glad he did. I'm glad he did.
I'm just saying, it was excellently prepared.
And a good three-act structure.
Like it was a well done.
Yeah, it was well done.
I wonder when the soccer is next game is,
and how we've made it,
we've already been, because these come in. I in I hope Dan for the same three years to upload
Yeah, I mean it's probably was buffering might have been from two world cups ago
But I hope Dan follows through I was saying at hotel and there was the international team there
Yeah, you'd have a go wouldn't you have won ring into the physio room banking on the fact that the physios wouldn't know all the players
And the not all the players would know the physios You dare would have to look I hope you love luck
I know that you can bank on the fact that the physios don't know the place. That would be the job
That would be the wish. Are you just walking him down?
Lay upon to the tables fast as you couldn't go just carbs. That's what you need to do
You need to get your face in the hole face in the hole and mumble carbs coach sent just carbs
You need to get your face in the hole. Yeah, face in the hole and mumble carbs.
Coach said just carbs.
Yeah.
Okay, we're gonna test that at the Carlton Fruits Club.
All right, yeah.
We're gonna take you in.
Yeah.
And while the physio's, we're gonna
go in up with Fruits shorts and hoody.
Yep.
And I just wander and head down.
Jump on the table, go coach.
Say just carbs.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So you're gonna go freak out from it.
And if this works, Jack Pod.
Hey, um, can we start the show with this?
Hmm.
It's, I think I'm going to get Jack here as our, the judge as a decider.
Um, or maybe we can put this online too.
Maybe we can let the people decide. Maybe we'll check it up at one of the pipes.
Check it up on Instagram. Um, let's put it on the stories. I think you can vote.
Okay. Recently people with iPhones and then there's a lot of our audience actually. We recently
got some statistics in, what is it like? It's a lot. Yeah, it's 80%, 80%. This is a pretty,
this is hidden, this is hidden a lot of people that are currently on iPhones. And apologies if
you're an Android, but I'm sure you're aware of what this is.
The new iOS you can get MemoGs,
which is like you can make your own face
to create a picture of you,
like a cartoon picture of you doing thumbs up,
thumbs down, whatever.
And you put a bit of effort into making your own MemoG.
And you sent me one the other day.
You've made it a little and you MemoG.
It looks nothing like me though. Well, I
think it's the best I can do. He's the curious thing. But I look at all my
other mates that send them in and they're like, yeah, that looks like them.
Here's the curious thing. Okay. I made a mimoji. And they're almost like
dinting the one you made. When you sent it to me, I went, uh, he's used,
he's my mimoji. but there's a few subtle differences.
You've given yourself more of a tan.
I've obviously given myself a slight beard
and there's brown eyes, blue eyes.
But we have picked the same hairstyle.
Right.
Well, I'll backtrack slightly.
My hair, I changed, because I made my emoji
with brown hair, sent it to my wife, who did hers
and hers looks pretty good.
Yeah.
And so it goes. Yeah, my girlfriend's looks perfect. Yeah, I said mine does ownji with brown hair, sent it to my wife who did hers and hers looks pretty good. Yeah. And so goes.
Yeah, my girlfriend looks perfect.
Yeah, I sent mine to Zon's, I go, is this you?
Yeah, she goes, you don't have brown hair.
Yes I do, she goes, no, it's a little bit,
it's quite gray.
I don't think you got some.
No, that's very brown, she goes.
Not very brown. But you, oh, very brown.
But you can't salt and pepper it.
So I've found, exactly, you can't.
I've gone to the black hair and faded it up.
Anyway, I've tried to salt and pepper in mind.
Jack, come around here.
I want you to look at my emoji versus Andy on my phone.
Okay, so this is Andy here.
And that's your identity.
We are right, we picked the same, we picked the same guy.
Andy is a bit more tan.
Andy has given himself a tan.
Now which of you looks more like the person that's what I want,
that's what I want the vote to be.
I know neither of these are that close.
Yes, but who's allowed to use this guy
and who's got to make some changes?
It's a great question.
Which I would say we are exactly,
we've picked exactly the same guy.
Except Andy's is a bit more of an olive skin.
All right, Andy, yours doesn't look like you in the least.
I can't even get,
I can't even really get a familiarity on that.
I thought these hairstyles, not too dissimilar
to how my hair can be.
Yeah, but I mean, it's, I'll be honest,
it's a luscious hair line, I'm not gonna lie.
I mean, that's called spades, spades.
But then I obviously,
they're not allowing any of those other options.
They give you flat balls.
Yeah, but they don't give you,
you'll be balled in four years.
Yeah, which I think.
You know, as a be longer than that.
As a 37 year old man, they don't go, you've begun.
No, they don't go.
They don't go, it's not obvious.
You've slowly begun.
They don't have curly hair either.
Do you notice that?
There's not a lot of options, obviously.
I would say, Hamish's looks more like Hamish from head shape.
And he's got like a very strong, in real life,
like a strong cheek and jawline,
whereas like, it's a roundy face kind of emoji,
and I'm a roundy face kind of guy,
as well it's not a fat face, it's a roundy face.
And the emoji is more roundy face.
Good news, lovely round face.
So that's where I'll award.
So I have to stand down.
Well, let's put it online. Let's put it up. And I think, I mean, I'm interested to be a bloody face. Give me a slightly round of face. So that's where I'll award. So I have to stand down. Well, let's put it online.
Let's put it up.
And I think, I mean, I'm interested to see what people,
make the suggestions people make.
Do you know what people can make their own?
You can, people can make, you can make,
I made Bex for her.
Ping and in, ping and in.
Yeah.
I don't know how you'd ping and in.
Jesus, if you had WhatsApp, that would be easy.
So, we don't, we don't.
So it'll be complicated, but take a screenshot and email it to us.
Sorry about that.
And then that's a great idea.
That's a great idea.
That's a great idea.
So I'll chuck it up on Instagram and I'd love people to go, okay, and these are the
changes you need to make.
And I'm allowed to say, am I?
Are we calling me the winner?
No, let's see.
People may be.
I mean, people can, it would be great if people make a big bet or what? I think you won for sure.
I think you look more like it.
Again, it's amazing that we picked the same guy.
But both can be improved, I think that's the thing.
But we also just picked a generic guy.
I'm gonna throw one back at you of someone who sent me one.
And you see if the reverse thing is like
see if you can identify who it is.
Yeah, great.
I mean, if it's Red Foo. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha you get a bit of better run of that. He's lucky there because Hogs is defining feature. Like if we were playing,
what's that game where you can't say the word?
Otabo.
Yeah, is it Tobu?
Like it's a board game.
Yeah, Tobu.
What I'd articulate.
That's the one.
I'd go very small forehead.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Orta's airline starts two fingers above his eyebrows.
He's eyebrow.
And so he's lucky that that guy immediately
had one of the defining
characters.
And Hawke said in the future that he did once I appear, that in the future people will
sell their foreheads as advertising spacers if not you.
Hawke's just looking at absolutely my best of shoes. Hey, man, I was driving this and I was reluctant to go back to this kind of special skill.
Be careful.
I've told you about it.
Just be careful.
You know the skill, we do let sleeping dogs lie.
You're more.
You wake while I put it?
It does an amazing trick and you go,
I'm glad we work that dog up.
Yeah, yeah.
It was the ball of its nose for ages.
I think my mind is drawn to the red ball
very high altitude skydive.
That's Felix Baumgart, I did it.
Had he not made it?
Yeah.
It would have been a bold decision
to go again for someone. And I feel like we had burned
up the atmosphere. We're coming off three dead skydivers and we're going, you know what?
You wait till you see this new parody. So it's wonderful if you can do it, it's a huge leap
for humanity. But, uh but G's history does change.
Yep, the current mindset.
Caleb joins.
Pass performance should never be indicative of future performance.
Always read the papers.
But sometimes you mind can get tricks by pass performance.
Agreed.
Caleb joins us.
Caleb, oh, how do you?
Oh, boy, boy, how are we?
Yeah, great.
Yeah, great.
Caleb, that's a bit good.
Caleb, you say you can recite the whole of the Little Mermaid movie.
All you need is three to four words,
and off you go.
To clarify, you think three to four words,
we play that grad, and you can then word perfect,
pick up the next sentence.
Yeah.
It just smells a lot like previous attempts
at special skills we've had.
Yes, that's a wonderful one.
The Simpsons guy, who was just appalling. We, the wonderful one. The Simpsons guy who was just appalling
with an e-tomension Simpsons guy.
He couldn't land a single quote for the Simpsons
and then when we said, you just give us a quote,
he couldn't think of one.
We basically said, give us an English word.
And he fasts.
Oh, no.
So I don't know, do you know what you're up against here
where he's now laughing?
I'm saying, that's not the bar.
No, the bar's much higher than that.
Well, the bar was episode four of the podcast.
If you, if you, if you, I've just knew the podcast,
you didn't go back to episode four.
Last year, last year.
Episode four of, yeah, in its entirety of the,
of a 60-odd podcast we've done so far, whatever.
Yep.
He is, he did stand by his word.
He could pick up any film. Kayla thinks
you can do it as well. So, Kayla, the way this is going to work, we don't think it's
eight coin worthy. I'm afraid. But you'll get one coin. Did you pitch for an eight? Kayla,
I suppose. I don't think it's eight coin worthy. I don't think it's eight coin worthy.
I don't think it's eight coin worthy. I appreciate that, but it's always good negotiations to certainly start high.
So, we're going to play the grab.
You are then going to pick it up from three or four words and say us the next line, we'll
go back and hear that to see if you got it right.
We will be stickless.
Andy has, we just haven't chatted about this off here.
And he's got three grabs. He's demanding three have a three for coin,
I think that's fair, but the scrutiny will be high. I'm like obviously a breath or a comor
or a consonant here or there if you say you know shells instead of shells. Fine, I personally
haven't seen a little bit. Wouldn't be wouldn't be surprised if Shell's feature in it.
So that will be fine, but you know wholesale words and sentences wrong.
I don't think Handel will be out of excited.
Is that fair for everyone?
Yep.
Fair.
Kayla, good luck Jack first grab.
Thank you.
Daddy they're not barbarians.
They are dangerous.
I don't want to say my daughter grabbed by some facetious hook.
I'm 16 years old, I'm not a child.
Don't talk to me that way, young lady.
Look, it's very good, let's have a listen.
Daddy, they're not barbarians!
They are dangerous!
Do you think I want to see my youngest daughter snared by some fish-eager's hook?
Wasn't word for word, but the vibe was...
Yeah, it was just...
What?
It's correct.
It's in, it's in.
I mean, it was, I don't want to versus, do you think I want to?
Yep.
New wants.
Yeah, and if you were directing the film and the performance was great, you'd be a bit
of a stickler of a director to stop down and get a retake for that.
Some fishy this hook was the key that I was like, that's impressive, she's got that.
Okay, grab number two.
Hold on, Kayla.
Doesn't she Sebastian?
Well, it's like I always say, you're met with me.
The children got to be free to leave their own lives.
Have a listen.
Doesn't she Sebastian?
Well, it's like I always see your majesty.
Children got to be free to lead their own lives.
Oh, I'm even tipping into a bit of...
Sebastian accent.
Gee, that's very good.
That one was word perfect, Kayla. Are you nervous at all?
Yeah.
Okay, well you don't sound it. I'm very nervous, but I feel like I've been training
for this moment since I was two.
Yeah, okay. Grab number three. Good luck.
What does soft shell I'm turning out to be?
Now Ariel, if you wanted to be a human the first thing you got to do is dress like one.
Now let me see.
Okay, okay, okay, have a listen.
What does soft shell I'm turning out to be?
Now Ariel, I'm telling you, if you want to be a human the first thing you got to do is dress like one.
She missed?
I'm telling you.
I'm telling you.
And didn't do that New York yet
But but it was good hangs in the balance ladies and gentlemen Will the judge penalize her for messing the I'm telling you I'm gonna give her one more grab
Okay, we've gone into extra time
Wasn't good enough to win nor was it bad enough to fail. It was very good. I just... He wants it clean.
It's a coin out there. I'd love a clean dot.
Once a clean lift.
One more grab. Good luck.
Any sign of them?
Oh no!
Wait, wait.
Do you want to hear it again?
Yeah, one more time, one more time.
Any sign of them? Not yet, your majesty.
That sound like what I would say on a hoed having not seen the film. Oh, can I try? Not yet, try not yet your majesty and when when will the sea be left in peace we'll never
we must learn to live together I don't mind these humans
quiet Sebastian let the king think just because I'm small doesn't mean I
think that the half of brains in my shells. No, I've got a steel.
You'll let them listen.
Any sign of them?
No, you're Majesty.
We searched everywhere.
We found no trace of your daughter.
No, you've Majesty.
It's no Majesty.
I think it was a guess.
But again.
It's actually not bad. It's not bad. So I'm going to give you one more. Oh, I mean, it's actually not enough to fail.
So I'm going to give you one more.
I didn't get the steel.
How you used to the steel.
You got one more, but this one, we have two.
Okay.
You don't see this in the World Cup.
Good luck.
I gave you one more penalty, because we were with Welfare.
I felt I was harsh on the first one.
We would prefer Brazil as the home team to win, but if you miss this penalty, it must go to Italy.
I felt I was harsh to go on the first one.
So this one now, I feel like it is wrestling back.
OK, now I'm being fair.
Good luck.
Go away.
BELL RINGS
What are you doing?
Oh no, I'm sorry, Ma'am.
BELL RINGS
She's right. She's got to have a listen. I was there. What are you doing?
I was just a... I'm sorry my daughter. She's done it!
Yes!
Swat it in cleanly.
Exactly, leave you. Kayla, well done. A coin's coming your way and you definitely know that film.
You made it through two nail-biting time extensions.
I'm sorry, my heart's a vegetarian family.
Don't, well done.
As Sebastian always says,
Hey, swim, unbree-free, man.
It's not Caribbean.
I think you're right, thank you.
He's French, isn't he?
Is he Sebastian French or Caribbean?
I think Caribbean. He's a poor man. I think he Sebastian French or Carabin? I think Carabin.
Hey, cool man. I think he was confused you because on his last
I wasn't telling him. He was a telly. Sebastian, he travels the world.
Yeah, you can't pin him down. International waters, maybe.
I mean, this could just be open up the mics and hit the bell straight away here.
It could be the world's fastest thing on the show.
And it's all down to you, Jacko.
Completely understand if you don't discuss it.
But can we talk about you going to a holistic dentist?
What is it?
Of course you mentioned before the show.
I said it because I was reading some piece of clickbait online
about how it was like top 10 exercise tips
for this summer or whatever.
And it was like, because Jack's done very, very well,
he's had a physical transformation at the winter.
He's now a strong boy.
And one of them was check his stress levels,
because they interfered with muscle growth.
And so I said, just, you know, just because this has been a theme for the last few months, how's your stress levels because they interfere with muscle growth and so I said Just you know just because with this has been a theme for last few months has your stress levels jack and he was proud to report
Well, tell us when it tell everybody what you said to us. I mean you you you stress levels
We when you were asked the question was like it was like the smugness of
Goon
Goon. Oh, the Goon.
On millionaire that knows all the answers.
The knows all the answers.
And in the coast of dawn is a day BC or day
and he's just already, you know,
I'm white to give the answer.
My other guy, the court, he's dead to say.
I didn't need a lifeline.
I just want to let you know about to a million dollars.
And we're, and I've been in the directors,
the box when they're filming millionaire.
And here the director go,
cut to the camera too,
really zoom in on the smumpness of it.
Yeah.
Well, I was so smug as a goon,
because I had just been told by my holistic dentist
that I had amazing low levels of stress.
Because he would, he touched the,
what would you call this, the, the,
the jaw muscles?
Yeah, the muscles that hold your jaw together.
And he says, people who are stressed clamp their jaw a lot
and those muscles will be really tight.
And you're so...
Those are Lucy Goosey.
Those are very loose.
You're not stressed, are you?
And I said, I'm not really that stressed.
Yeah, and my question was, what is a holistic dentist?
Is it someone that has dodged medical school?
Well, I happened upon him by chance, actually.
Can I ask a question?
I have a question about the holistic dentist.
Was it, did you find out that on your private health insurance, you had used all the credits
up for normal dentists, but there was some sort of like freebie owing or category where
you weren't using any of the cap
for holistic dentistry.
No, good guess, but I have no dental coverage
on my health and care.
Yeah, actually we should have gone with that.
Yeah, I got a bad basics, no extras.
Trust the teeth.
Yeah, so every time I go to the dentist,
I have to pay.
Did you only get health and shields because of the levy?
You earned enough, you earned enough, yeah.
Yeah, and I don't really even know what I'm covered for.
So I just went for basic.
Yeah, because occasionally there's that thing
of being like, oh wow, you get free sneakers,
feel the truth, so I've been getting sneakers.
Yeah, but yeah, you know, you got to check up,
you got to see what you, because you couldn't have stuff on.
I know, but they make it so confusing,
they deliberately make it confusing.
This is why my holistic dentist was telling me actually.
He was telling me actually. He was telling
me that the health insurance providers deliberately try and be so confusing so you don't know
what you're covered for and you use the products less. Sounds like he's had a falling out.
The holistic dentist is very stress free. So he's either did you touch his jawline? No,
no, I could tell. So what makes him whole whole? Yeah, what's a holistic dentist? How are they different than a normal dentist?
He, he addresses the whole body.
For you, no, sorry, sorry, like he, where else do you have to?
He, this big toenail is coming along well.
Or again, we keep, we keep stiffening that up.
You know, she is, we can call it a tooth.
So he says a lot of tooth pain and injuries come from other parts of the body.
You can't even mile away.
No, come from other parts of the body.
Stress is actually a big indicator of...
For tooth pain.
Yes.
Yes.
And if you're stressed, you release a lot of cortisol into your body.
That's true.
Which can affect the teeth.
Because you would cause damage.
So a lot of tooth pain comes from other parts of the body.
Is that really his claim?
No, maybe that's how I summarized it.
He said from the stress levels and the cortisol being entered into your body.
You'll cleanse your teeth more.
Yep.
And that.
And you're clenching your teeth isn't the only cause of dental damage. No, you can still,
if you eat, I guess if you don't brush your teeth and you eat sugar, then sure you can get
it. Is he allowed to do cavities? He's allowed to do everything. Well, I hope he is because he's
the only man. He's the only dentist to sing. Does he have the parts of your teeth? He did he touch.
He wasn't weird. Okay. Okay. And he can just touch your he can just he did you leave on all your clothes for the many yes
Point out on this chart here what pizza you touch and using a red and a green indicator whether or not you're comfortable with that
Okay, one final one final question from me
When you in his rooms, was there any certificate?
Was there any certificate? I'll be back.
Ava from an official body.
Even like Cullin Cardboard printed out on our own printer.
I can say this, it looked a hell of a lot like a normal dentist.
The normal chair, everything.
Postes on the wall of people's teeth, etc.
I don't recall a certificate though.
Right.
So the real dentist has gone away from holiday.
For any other parts of your health,
do you see the holistic version
who might not be the actually credited version?
No.
You see a holistic hairdresser.
I didn't even seek out a holistic dentist.
I actually went to a normal dentist.
He was closed.
And he stood on his dentist.
And he stood on his dentist.
Right.
I like the restaurants that open up next to the very popular places where you can't make book use. So when there's overflow, down was the holistic dentist. Right. I like the show, like the restaurants that open up next
to the very popular places where you can't make book use.
So when this overflow, you get into that.
Yeah, that makes it a holistic dentist.
Yeah. And now, will you stick with it?
I will stick with it because he's so stress free.
You should say, he's got a totally great outlook on life.
And I hope that that's rubbing off on me.
Yeah, that's it.
So if I look stressed, remind me to go back to the dentist.
Yeah.
LAUGHTER With Bill. And when your teeth start falling out Remind me to go back to the dentist. Yeah. We will.
And when your teeth start falling out because they haven't received actual dental care,
and we know this guy just be like, man, that's because you teeth are so relaxed, they just let him go.
Hey, we very, very look at them, but we got stats.
Yeah, we're flush with stats at the moment.
Stats came in about the podcast.
We're so grateful for anyone who listens.
And they're really humbled.
And there's plenty of people from around the world.
A lot of stats on YouTube, Jacko.
Pleasin, pleasin, yeah.
Yeah, you're trending up.
What was interesting to us was the breakdown of countries.
Yeah, right. It was fascinating how many, the breakdown of countries. Yeah. Right.
It is fascinating how many like thousand people listening in different parts of the world.
And we know we can't go off the uploads of people sending in their stuff at the start
of the show because that's such a small pool of people that can be bothered sitting
through the laborious task of the file management. So we could actually see how many downloads are happening
from unique people around the world.
Obviously Australia's a big one, New Zealand's big player,
we nod to them, Canada, America, and Britain,
or sitting that probably second tier as far as the amount of people.
Not, not, not.
They're going well, and then it gets more interesting.
If this was the end of a show,
and we were like shaken hands afterwards,
they're the countries we would shake a lot of hands.
Yeah, they support, they give you support, thank you for coming out. the end of a show and we were like shaken hands afterwards there the countries would shake a lot of hands.
They support. Thank you for your support.
Thank you for coming in.
We're waving at the others up the back.
But you know, for the lower levels of, you know, we'd love you, but if we
got together, there was a shake point level level.
And you in like photo, we'd give them the front seat.
Absolutely.
We'll let them sit down and others would have to be at the back
But someone but who's right at the bottom? That's what we wanted to know
Do we have one listener in Tunisia? Yeah, just solitary the North African nation of Tunisia
I don't know where it was I'd look it up. I know I only know of it because recently someone tried five times to change my Netflix
password from Tunisia. They were unsuccessful, but then I got a bunch of miscalls
from a Tunisia number, and I sensed that some of my data has been sold on the dark web,
and I certainly don't think it's our listener, No. But someone in Tunisia has taken a particular shine
to having my data,
and which resulted in a bit of an overhaul of security.
They, I can't, I don't wish them the best.
I wish them the worst.
I wish they would stop.
I wish they would stop.
It's not fun.
I would urge them to pick softer targets. because I hope now the steps we've got
in place will make it very hard for that to penetrate the wall. However, the idea of
finding it who our Tunisian listener is appeals to me greatly because if we have a friend
on the ground, perhaps they could spread the word, circulate out all three of our photos.
Because I have heard of this happening in China New Zealand before I think it might be
a small hub of cybercrime
Okay, so just circulating our photos amongst the cyber criminals ago
Let's go a bit easy on these guys
Trying their bad guys, they're all right
So the thing is we can tell if someone's downloaded one off. Yeah, but this is a person that is regularly downloaded
So we actually believe it. It's that we believe them to be but we don't know interested
We don't know. Interested.
We don't know who the Tunisian is.
No.
And so we put this call out to them today.
And hopefully they hear our call.
No one knows what he's like.
Is he a bold man?
Does he drive us a Dan?
Tunisian guy, and no one knows what he's like, does he like fitness?
Would he score high on a beep test?
Tunisian guy, we know he streams the podcast and uses Android technology. For we have about him
It's also likely
that he's a shee At his good point, but for the purpose of the rest of the song, we'll just go with the fact he's a male
No one knows what he's like
Could he win a spelling bee
Is he good at karaoke?
Tunisian guy, would like to know what you like
So email the contact, it'll be easier in WhatsApp
We await your reply.
Ando.
Yep.
Before we finish the show today, I need to bring before the Finance Committee, I suppose,
or the gatekeeper to this show, the other gatekeeper being you, and gatekeepers, Jack.
I suppose you're the guard with the big ax, and Jackie or the guy that operates the winch.
Still important, you're still important.
Pretty cool, pretty cool.
Cause you can also drop it on people's hands.
So you can kind of trick him if we, I'm visiting.
Are you all thinking of a medieval castle
of the gate that goes on?
I am now, I didn't know why he had a winch
just to open the garden gate.
Well, I've got a gatekeeper in a family home.
Well, it's a castle.
Absolutely you do. Have you been to Buckingham Palace? There's two bloody gate in a family home. Well, it's a castle. Absolutely, you do.
Have you been to Buckingham Palace?
Is it too, buddy?
That's a castle, it's a palace.
It's not a family, I mean, you're technically a family home,
but it's a garden gate at the front, though.
It's just a simple push-in,
this is a medieval castle, our show.
And you must impress to try scaling the walls.
You won't be able to.
Okay, you've got to come through the gate,
but the gatekeepers need to approve you.
Very, very interesting one here.
Can we have a winch down a big bit?
Yeah, good, I'm good, Jack.
Or a gate coming up because I think-
I think I'd like a winch.
Like, you know, that grinding of the metal
in the chains.
Yeah, as it, yeah, if you work on it.
You know what?
You could probably go anchor and no one would know.
Yeah, okay.
I have a look in the meantime.
Thank you, Jacko.
Do you want us to pad for 10 minutes?
Cause that isn't traditionally how long it takes if I've done it in this set. It might be in next week, like from next week type. Yeah, I'm gonna look in the meantime. Thank you, Jacko. Do you want us to pad for 10 minutes? Because that isn't traditionally how long it takes
to find something in this.
It might be in next week, like from next week,
but then it's like,
I'm not getting in five minutes time,
we're getting a witch sound effect.
Yeah.
And Jack, then, played it on the show.
Yeah.
But I like that.
It's more of an next week thing, yeah.
Well, we could put it in post, I suppose.
We could.
Could kind of hunt around in post.
Yep.
Anyway, and we guys do the rest of the day
before five hours. Analyse.
This would require a fly-in.
Cheezing came from.
Okay.
She could amazing skill.
Look, I might even get her up now to explain to her.
Analyse, welcome to the outside of the castle.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
No, no, we're face to face.
We're just speaking through the gate.
Sorry, I am the mother being in a crow's nest somewhere that...
No, no, that would make...
You've got an axe.
I said you've got an axe.
I'm very good at throwing it.
You've got a short-range weapon.
Sorry about that, I don't know.
Someone needs a little brush up on their weapons.
You know, for cosplay.
So we're speaking to you for the cross-hatch lattice of I am, that is the gate.
You'll never penetrate it without our permission.
But we're interested in inviting you into the castle.
Here's the skill, Andy.
She goes, I've been obsessed with Matt with New York
since I was little, although I haven't been there.
I've explored Manhattan on Street View so many times
that you can drop me anywhere on a Street View
and I will know where it is. So
are we talking exact street or are we talking like that's so ho that's you know the
meat packing district or whatever. So what I noticed was like I can drop myself somewhere
and I'll be like oh I recognize this area there's like a library down the road and then
I'll walk down the road on street view and there will be a library. Right so you can go
you know what's nearby., you know what's nearby.
Awesome.
So you know what's nearby.
So, feel that, that's impressive.
That's equally impressive.
If we drop you somewhere around, I mean Manhattan, go what's near here and you say up
this road there's a church, one block.
Yep.
And you're right, that's very impressive.
And are you talking the whole of Manhattan, Annalise, or just from like, you know,
under Central Park?
Yeah, once you get above Central Park, it gets, how's your
columns? So I'd say like below Central Park is probably my strongest point.
Let's go, let's go south of Central Park. That's still half a man and
and we're all the action probably happening. And we do, obviously apologies to
Harlem. Right. Very good chicken. So I'm actually in Harlem.
Yeah. Red rooster. No this yet. Not this yet. So, Annalise, I love this.
We fly her down.
She, we drop her somewhere.
Yep. And you tell us, you've got to do,
is you've got to tell us something nearby that's a point of interest
and be accurate as to which direction it was in.
Yep. And how far away it was.
Do you reckon you could do that?
Okay.
Um, I'll give it a crack.
I mean, I haven't had much practice recently, but I'll see how it goes.
Well, if you'd like to, we're about to lift the gate.
I'm just nervous that we're going to spend a lot of money flying you down and Elyse, and you can't do it.
Yeah, I'm a bit worried about that, to be honest. nervous that we're going to spend a lot of money flying you down and elisa you can't do it.
Yeah, I'm a bit worried about that to be honest.
Analyse knowing how much time and effort is involved flying you down. And obviously we fly it down cheap and we don't put anyone up.
Commodation wise.
But still knowing how much time and efforts involved and then coming on the
podcast and then everyone will be hearing it.
Do you think we should fly you down?
Maybe others.
No. No.
Close the gate.
Really appreciate it.
Really appreciate that.
We need that sound effect after all.
It sounds like a great game that you play with yourself.
Going off the levels of confidence.
We're going to sing you two tokens of no value for that.
That is a really safe game.
You've saved everyone.'ve really saved everyone.
You've saved everyone.
You've saved everyone.
You've saved everyone.
You've saved everyone.
You've saved everyone.
You've saved everyone.
You've saved everyone.
You've saved everyone.
You've saved everyone.
You've saved everyone.
You've saved everyone.
You've saved everyone.
You've saved everyone.
You've saved everyone.
You've saved everyone.
You've saved everyone.
You've saved everyone.
You've saved everyone.
You've saved everyone.
You've saved everyone. You've saved everyone. You've saved everyone. You've saved everyone. You've saved everyone. locally, not a cost situation or more, are you impressed by this? Sam, what is your special skill?
Far away, Tel Ando.
Hi boys.
Hi Sam.
I can tell the difference between any cold drink ranging from Coke down to your home brand.
Wow.
And another thing that's included in this too.
Really?
Okay.
So, could you tell the difference between a Post- Pepsi Max and a post mix. Oh, you'll do diet any variety as well
Yeah, I could go
Coach my home ground. Yeah, um co-zero die coke and then yeah
That's easy. Yeah, yeah, and there's it is it easy between die coke and coke zero
Yep, okay, well, and then then, if we were then to go,
okay, Pepsi and Pepsi Max.
Yep.
And then we're throwing in,
I'm gonna like, I'll say Cola, Home Brank Cola.
Shwebs Cola.
I can give it a crack, I think.
Can you get Shwebs Cola still?
I'm not sure.
I don't think you can.
I'm don't think of a bad Shwebs Cola if I've had a good chance to go on that one.
I'm not sure if I've had a good chance to go on that one.
I'm not sure if I've had a good chance to go on that one.
I'm not sure if I've had a good chance to go on that one.
I'm not sure if I've had a good chance to go on that one.
I'm not sure if I've had a good chance to go on that one.
I'm not sure if I've had a good chance to go on that one.
I'm not sure if I've had a good chance to go on that one.
I'm not sure if I've had a good chance to go on that one.
I'm not sure if I've had a good chance to go on that one.
I'm not sure if I've had a good chance to go on that one.
I'm not sure if I've had a good chance to go on that one.
I'm not sure if I've had a good chance to go on that one.
I'm not sure if I've had a good chance to go on that one.
I'm not sure if I've had a good chance to go on that one.
I'm not sure if I've had a good chance to go on that one.
I'm not sure if I've had a good chance to go on that one.
I'm not sure if I've had a good chance to go on that one.
I'm not sure if I've had a good chance to go on that one.
I'm not sure if I've had a good chance to go on that one. I'm not sure if I've had a good chance to go on that one. I cake zero and then I'd pick like that or would you go?
You go to do that which one this is not giving you 50 50s. I'm not impressed if you just like
Because I think in my best. Yeah, I'd like to see them all wind up. I'll tell you what five lined up
And you you taste it and you just go to what that's coax. Yeah, that's what I want to see
And I'll well then can you do that, Sam?
I think you're on the line, you heard that.
You're very on a stand of lease, Faws.
I can hear you.
Look at you.
I could give you the Coke and the pet cheese.
I don't think I could go much better than that.
That's completely honest.
That's completely honest.
I really appreciate it. That's completely honest. We appreciate it.
What about this?
We do round one, just coaxing Pepsi and varieties.
Obviously we're talking about here, the varietals of those.
If you achieve a four out of five level, I know he needs all of them.
No, okay, all right.
Okay, great.
We'll figure you out.
Okay.
If you achieve five out of five, we put you in the car, we blindfold you, we take you
in a drive, we take you for a drive, we take you to our drive through.
We get you a post mix.
Yep.
We get your post mix coke.
Yep.
Full strength coke.
You've got to tell us, did we take you to McDonald's, hungry jacks, or anywhere else that
uses the Coca-Cola subway?
So he can tell the difference between a thing, that's what you've written.
So you know I'm McDonald's coke against the hungry guy's car I included take away
drinks in a so you know a difference between a coke a collar from McDonald's and a Coca-Cola from Well, that's why I'd be willing to put a seven coin coin against that end though.
If we took drove him somewhere and we don't have a seven coin.
Sorry.
We give him seven singles.
Sorry.
We put an eight coin coin against that.
If he wins him's way into that round, he he can gamble he could play on for the eight and
We give we go we take him we drive him to and we go what what what fast food is this?
Yeah, why don't you have to drive?
So we get fresh I'm okay with that. Yeah, but I'm saying like he like see where we go
So we're blind for him why for and we get out of the car
So he doesn't know where we are one One of us stays in there with him in the monotone.
And then the other comes back in the car with the drink and goes, right, what's this?
We just get this from him.
I like that.
In fact, it can be Coke or Diet Coke.
And you see you've got a pick Coke or Diet Coke from wherever, whatever fast food
store we've been to.
Well.
Yeah, right.
Okay, so Sam, you're in.
It's miraculously. you're in from miraculously
You're in and you've got a shot at an eight
Jack open the open the gate
I'm going to Sammy there we go really appreciate analysis
It could be a great it next week because of the honesty
Thanks for listening the Hamish Nandy podcast right up next week because of the honesty.