Hamish & Andy - Hamish & Andy 2019 Ep 80
Episode Date: November 27, 20191. Loose ends 2. Tupperware challenge 3. Medieval battle update 4. The Hall of Shame 5. Keep it or Delete it 6. Hamish’s BIG FINISH ...
Transcript
Discussion (0)
A LISTENUP PRODUCTION
Activate your internet
Cause the Hamish and the Podcast starts in 3, 2, sorry, still buffering
ONE
1
Hoi everyone, how are you home? How are you sir?
Hoi Jack, how are you?
Last hit out for 2019 everyone
I should say, how are you to camp in the Middle East?
He's used the very easy to use
That will still be reviewed
Process of uploading video
at homestay.com
as we can get all the correspondence,
but he's told us what he's up to.
Hoelad's came here currently in the Middle East,
just watching a jet with work in the defense force,
currently on a night shift in about the 10th,
out of the 12 hours.
He just had my third instinct coffee.
Just listened to Pod Pass about the defence force,
pretending to be heads of the services,
and I've got to say Jack, please stay in radio.
Apart from that, all is well here.
I'm hoping I've got day, talk to you later.
Good on him, right.
And thank you for everything he's doing over there, Ande. Now, if're fusing jets, you'd suggest Air Force and still Jack
fearing you as the head of the Navy.
Everybody's a completely different branch.
Yeah, people may or may not recall that we did play out how would each of us go and
roll in the military.
I still wear my Navy jacket from time to time.
It's because you took it home, mate.
You went into it since it's a work out fit.
Stolen Valor.
Stolen exercise Valor.
On your cam.
Yeah, thank you, Cam.
Hey, quick one before I know you got something to get to,
but, you know, you can do anything.
You're on my right hand man.
The big finish.
Oh, of course.
Yes.
Can we expect that by the end of this show today?
You realize you cannot, there's no more time. There's absolutely I don't want it. I'm so pumped to
play this for you guys. As I said, it's under 10 minutes. Actually, shorter than the 10 minutes,
I thought it could blow out to be. Yeah. Because there's a lot of, there's a lot of elements I was
pulling together for it. A lot of people involved. Dare I say solips. I know we don't do them a lot
on this show, but I think you'd be happy with the names. I've been out of land.
You're always gonna get yeses on ice cream.
You're always gonna get nose.
I was bloody happy with the yeses I got.
Okay.
So yeah, it's actually only the finish itself,
there's a bit of a preamble,
but the actual, what I would classify the finish itself,
it's a one minute finish.
I had to pre-record it if that's okay,
because I couldn't get everyone at the same time. But it's a flourish, is it? Oh, it's a one minute finish. I had to pre-record it if that's okay, because I couldn't get everyone at the same time.
But it's a flourish, is it?
Oh, it's a flourish.
And it's significantly big.
It's massive.
Okay.
It's massive finish.
Well, you don't spend most of the year
teasing a big finish and then, you know.
Well, I do know.
Well, it would be a bit of, it would be,
it would be a bit silly to turn up without a big finish on the final of the year. Yeah. If it's going to drive all the way in here.
I do not remember that you had promised this. Well, I mean, to drive all the way in here thinking
yourself, oh, how am I going to get out of that? Yeah. That would be that would be that would be
dumb. It would be unprofessional. And it's not what the show's about. We'd say.
We'd say promise made is a promise kept. Yeah. But before we get to the big finish, which has to be at the end of the show,
of course, it is the finish.
Today we're going to try on top of a few listens, a few floating around.
The couple that I want to hit quickly.
Yes, sure.
Really, really quickly.
Now I know this is obviously not a Christmas yet,
but we're starting to get in the Christmas spirit.
Can I kick off the show with a Christmas gift?
Oh, that would be nice.
Jack. Jack, okay. I want to give you the seat for the drum kit. I want to give it
a try. Wow, that is. That is true. That is huge. I want to give you a e-drum
care kit. Did we discuss this recently that the seat was taking up room in his... I think
you already gave me the drum stool on the show.
Yeah, that's true.
And I'm throwing you in the E-care kit.
And I got my own stool as well.
Okay, not as triggers like I'm glad.
I was looking across the deck going applause the pause before.
And then now you know, but I'm really enjoying it.
I'm great not pulling the trigger of that applause.
I'm really giving you the stool and I am throwing in the...
I don't want to do the same.
I'm throwing in a care kit.
You don't want a cloth?
Like a cloth soft cloth?
I don't need...
I never set up the drums.
I never set them up.
Someone welcomed someone.
Someone sent me a picture from your Instagram stories at your house.
But you must have posted or your wife has posted a false and up against the wall.
That's how electronic drums live for the majority of me along.
They're waiting to unfold.
Like, I'm asking you, they did not unfold.
If it went a good season arrives, the one fell until then, you know, you've got them for an absolute bargain mate.
So congratulations to you for getting a good deal.
And I'm throwing in that e-care kit for free.
What is that?
It's a soft cloth.
Don't worry.
And a kid.
We've got so much to get a key tip. In case there's any dust around the lip of the pads.
Yeah. I never, that will be on use. If we're talking about Pristine, that would be on
use. Right. You would never have done. So that's done. You would never have clothed you drums.
And oh, um, hi. Well, of course we have many, many amazing things this year.
Chicken Fest, probably the highlight.
Stixmas was a big one.
Yep.
Right into someone here at work.
That's one before you let Stixmas go for this year.
Answer a couple of questions we've been getting on email.
Will Stixmas happen yet next year?
Yes, of course it will.
Oh, but if you've got Stixmas available,
and if they're the quality that I demand. Now
there's a gentleman that works around podcast one. I don't know his name. Could be anyone.
Could be the big list. He was checker, he wore a checkered shirt a week ago.
But he watched the sticks being, he said, oh man, I just listened to the sticks
miss episode. And I was lucky enough to see the sticks being packed away to be sent around the world
to those lucky enough to receive a stick. The sticks was and he said, I found very offensive,
but I want to address it on the podcast. He said, oh, I've got to to be honest I thought they'd be better quality sticks.
Wow.
Now I looked at him and I said, I didn't say what's your name mate, I do.
Let's call him Rick.
Okay, I go, Rick.
What did you say?
I guess I didn't say that.
Man.
Oh, I was expecting.
Oh, you're expecting.
You guys, I thought there'd be snow there.
And I said, you were thinking of a production stick.
You were thinking of a commercially available stick.
I told people, there were wood.
He goes, other than be like sanded down.
And I said, well, you haven't listened to the show.
You don't understand, but we're talking,
he goes, some had bark on them.
Yeah, that's a stick mate.
That's how you tell a good quality stick.
I'm not gonna fiddle with the stick.
Before I said it, it's not called fiddle sticks.
It's not fiddle sticks.
It's sticksmas.
And he sort of, you know, I just went, I made, you know,
there is a big odd thing guys, I didn't say it,
but I certainly insinuated, well, maybe we're not the show
for you.
You can't understand the quality of the sticks
that we're going in.
You guys saw them, they're premium sticks.
Yes, they're great sticks. Of course, of course, the sticks for Rix. I mean, you guys saw them, they're premium sticks. Yes, they're great sticks.
Of course, the sticks for Rick.
He didn't like, he didn't like.
Do you think you made that Rick
because it's wrong with stick?
No, but I must have been thinking Rick at that stage.
Yeah.
Stick for Rick.
We are doing wrap-ups, Ham.
Unless there's something else we need to get on to.
There was a couple of things that I thought I could.
Oh, I've got one more thing.
I'll throw this one in the mix.
It's a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, Well, I don't know, but he was this guy's just won it and he was the 2009 Junior World Champion.
I know he's one senior.
And he just won the 2018 Alabama State Championship of Duck Coring.
Jesus.
Don't know where to be.
What's his name?
Rick.
Doesn't say.
Doesn't say.
Chuck.
Maybe.
But I just wanted to get him out.
Well, it would be nice in fact, Sarah, can you track down the champion?
You see that?
He was playing a game on his phone.
And she knows these intros go for an hour.
And she was dottling on her phone.
The question I wanted to ask the champion is a darker coat, like a shoe as a boot.
Oh, do we want to open that? That pond again?
Maybe not.
I thought, do you want to get him out to Australia to watch him do?
Go down and just try and summon those cookies.
You get a coat, the Eurasian coat, that we inaccurately assumed, oh no, we accurately assumed
that but we weren't able to be cool.
And then got challenged by this person who's just...
Oh mate, no, let's leave it.
Yeah, let's leave it. I mean, just the expensive of it, if we are debating it,
whether or not we fly people on Tiger Air from in the state,
we're not finding someone from America.
No, because can you imagine someone going quite,
quite, quite coming over to them?
Yeah, we've imagined that we were all with.
You've imagined the scene.
Yeah, quick one, and it's coming a few times.
It's probably about a month ago.
We have the debate from time to time on this show,
if one of us, or all three of us,
or individuals have sometimes lost touch
with the common man.
I had this nominated a few times,
and it keeps popping up,
and then someone Elizabeth wrote in and said,
we've been talking about whether to contact the show.
And we've decided we should.
During the Melbourne Spring Racing Carnival,
you allegedly posted a video of yourself, is this true?
Or not maybe it was a girlfriend that did this?
Have you and a helicopter?
Mm-hmm.
A few people noticed this and went,
well that's true in it.
Absolutely lost touch with the common man.
Mm-hmm.
Look, maybe it was a corporate thing.
It was.
Maybe it was a deal kind of thing.
I can understand that.
I think then Elizabeth had noticed,
and a few other people had noticed this,
that the reason it tips over into losing touch
with the common man, apart from being a helicopter,
is in the video that you're filming
or you go from something you can see outside the window
as the helicopter lands, it was raining,
and it sprays puddles of water
onto people that are walking by down below. So you are splashing
you are splashing the common man as you lay him in your helicopter and I think that is
under for that doesn't for what you need to be bought before the court of the touch.
Not true. They were I saw the videos and several people have mentioned it. You can't you can't
you can't sit you can't be near a helicopter when they're walking past, they said it was landing near the yara and you can clearly see it whips up the water.
Yep.
Off the grass and it sprays people.
And they don't like it.
Yep.
And you laugh.
I don't.
No.
I didn't even notice that.
But that couldn't happen.
I mean, that's what happens at the top end of town.
No, you don't notice what's going on underneath you.
Have you camped?
It's happening for sure.
It's in the end of the year.
Jack, what was that?
Nothing on list as well.
I think it was before the end of summer.
So you can't even early next year.
Damn, I'm annoyed that I reminded you then.
I'm made, I'm camped, baby.
Okay.
You will not camp.
I will camp.
I'm camping in the backyard, shouldn't camp, either. No, it will be off. I will care. I'm camping in the backyard shouldn't count.
No, it will be off.
Can't be on my own property.
Yep.
Hey, this one came in from Jay McGown.
Last wrap up I have.
Yep.
Completely his first of a marathon yesterday.
Good on him.
It's been 16 weeks training while we're listening
to the podcast.
Well done.
Race day.
Got caught a bit short at the 25 K mark.
Yep.
New what was coming on.
All the bananas from the morning.
I was gonna have to do a pit stop.
Yeah, right.
I was seeing this has to be quick
because I really wanted to make sure
that I beat my time.
He's trained for 16 weeks.
You don't want to be undone by a number two.
I think I know where this is going.
Did he hit sub 60? He is going
sub 60. Wow. And he said it was valuable time listening as well as training at the same
time to make sure he got through. I'm so proud of him. That's so proud. That's so proud.
That's a shout out to Pedracee who works on the show, sent me a screenshot of his stopwatch the other night,
nailed one in 59 seconds, said the people was with no idea.
Good on you, Dars.
And a quick sound effect here. We have got a Tupperware-based special skill to test.
Yes. You've got your gear. I'm'm gonna go and set up one of the meeting rooms
with the meals that you versus...
versus Eli, he's going to be flown down,
and from memory, he's made flown down as well.
He's made risking paying for his own flight.
We said that if you can fly your mate down,
but if you lose, you have to pay for your mate's flight.
You've each bought in eight units of Tupperware.
Yep, man, Jack, you going to set up one of the rooms
with three meals that you have to seal the best
out of either of you.
That's the Tupperware Challenge.
Look forward to it.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Alright, here we go, Jack.
You and I were in the boardroom.
Here in the building, we are set up for the Grand Tapo Air Challenge of 2019.
Andy, he stepped up and he said, yo, Eli, this whole thing where you think you can put
tapo air in a container better than anyone else, not better than me boy.
I can do that.
So, we have in front of us three meals.
We have two quarter chickens, four roast potatoes in one dish.
Both gentlemen have exactly the same meal, so we have two serves of each thing.
Then the boys get two bowls of soup.
Then they get a butter chicken, half butter will half butter chicken, half basmati rice.
Unmixed at this stage.
Unmixed.
The instructions were clear.
You'll have an anti-age bring in their best eight-tapware containers.
The format will be as follows.
Each man can select any of his
topware containers to contain the dish.
Head to head on each dish, best out of three.
Let's do it.
Let's bring them in.
Gentlemen, apologies for the delay.
Would you please approach?
Certainly, Ken.
Andy, how's it going?
OK, now you, I see you have met your competitors.
Yes, yes.
I'm John Elyne.
Thank you for doing this, Surfhill.
You nominated Elyne.
Did you stand by? He's incredible still.
Yes, I do, yes. I've seen some amazing things from this man.
How was the flight down Elyne?
It was. Yes, lots of legroom.
That surprises me.
Elyne, you seem very relaxed.
You brought you up tap away with you?
I did.
I've got something to put in your word here.
Yep.
Ely, I've gotten you tap away.
I think that's touch with the common man.
No, I guess that doesn't buzz when you tap away.
Every time he has an event, I'm unbelievable.
I actually think that he's a decent man.
Wouldn't it be nice guys?
Wouldn't it be nice to live at the top end?
Yeah.
I actually think it's a decent vantage, but I started pouring out things that I've got in the fridge today.
And Beck was like, what are you doing?
I kept reddling.
I said, get him a kit ready for the big contest.
He goes, well no, we're not throwing out lunches and dinners that we're going to have.
So you just say, you go, Mahon, you kitchen set up.
Yeah, I'll take it, the receipt, I'll take it back.
Like you got sort of like a genius young player
from the country who is all talent.
Yeah, yeah, versus a rich city kid.
Who's just put all the best gear
hoping it'll give him through to the finals.
This is what we'll see.
Classic David versus golf, gentlemen.
Come on in and see the events.
I think you'll like what we've organized.
It's the best out of three competition.
It will be a head to head battle.
The winner of each round will receive one point.
Okay.
And obviously the most points at the end of the competition
will secure you the win, either getting out of paying for flights
in Andy's case, or getting flights paid for and the coin.
In your case, see you later.
Well, to pay for the stakes are high.
First round, as you can see, two quarters of chicken,
roasted chicken, not from chicken fast.
This is just run of the mill.
Okay.
And four large half rice potatoes, round two,
two bowls of soup, round three.
You have a buzz-madi rice, filling half the bowl,
and about a chicken filling the other half.
Peace, peace.
Hope it gets to round three because because you'd want to say,
you'd want to sort this out quick, Bob.
Jack, would everyone say,
forced to tap away without going over?
Yes, we don't want to see anything thrown away.
Having said that, we also don't want to see
some sort of secondary tap away tub
with a dribble in the bottom.
No, it's actually been insult to the sport.
So we're going to go, don't waste any food, and we don't want to waste any space in the bottom. No, exactly. So, I've been insult to the sport. So, we're going to go, don't waste any food,
and we don't want to waste any space in the fridge.
Yep.
Okay, can we get into this?
Yeah, we absolutely can.
Okay.
Top!
What are you thinking now here, Eli?
It's difficult because they're weird shapes, you know?
We haven't been started hard.
The dry round is a difficult round.
It is.
All right.
Look how small Eli packed these
tubs down. Yeah, he's got tubs within tubs, within tubs,
couple of wish-cut tubs. And you what he was doing.
Meanwhile, have a look at Mark Tupperberg over here.
He's just got all the tubs in the world. Honestly, he's got a
shopping trolley full of tubs and this looks so messy.
And he's confident now. He's selected two blue side locking snap lock tugs.
Coming fast and he's...
And he's fully acting.
He's still in the top of where a dome.
Yes, oh my god, Eli.
Eli has chosen...
Paul.
Paul is a red deep.
That's a nice sleep.
Good fit. Yes.
We've got huge amounts of confidence here.
Absolutely.
Hey, let's be honest, I know I'm the opposition,
but I just need to clarify what's happened.
You were intending to get all the potatoes in one.
I was. And then all the chicken and the other were intending to get all the potatoes in one. I was. Yeah.
And then all the chicken and the other.
You've ended up with three potatoes in one.
Yeah. Two chickens.
And the, and the rogue potato and the other.
And it's got, as I've been, you do not like to see
in the top-wire game. No.
And that is a squished potato.
It's washed wrong, essentially.
It's washed wrong.
It's the top of the cake.
I mean, we have no choice.
Put it down to nerves.
The shock, I guess, of being in the big stars. I mean, we have no choice. Put it down to nerves, the shock, I guess,
of being in the big stars.
I think that's it.
Yeah, definitely.
Andy takes the dry round.
That's cute.
That's cute.
Take the chicken for tat around the next thing.
I mean, I can be a bit more aggressive in the next round
because it's the closest without going over.
So, you're always gonna, for safety's sake,
leave a bit of extra room.
In your early rounds.
Put on a little bit of my phone.
Or you're in what people don't do.
OK, guys, clean out your hubs.
Round two.
Soup.
Wet round.
Top.
To kick off round two, each man has two soups
to mimic the scenario of live and soup a comment for dinner.
Yeah.
Just got a call from them.
They've had to go to live mum's place.
I've already poured the soup.
They come out.
Save it for another day.
Yes.
Eli?
Yep.
I won six love the first set, probably.
But it's a three set battle.
How do you regroup?
Oh.
Hedding into the scene.
This is an odd sport, because not often does you.
A pony get to do like the leap-daping to be with you
with this row of you babs in here.
I'm going to put it down to nerves for that first round.
I'm going to play my nerves.
And they out now?
Look, let's hope so.
Yeah.
We won't know until we get the tubs in.
You can play.
As they say in the sport.
Oh my boys, top up!
Are we putting both balls of soap in one tub?
You can if you choose to.
Right.
It's amazing here.
I'm back in already.
Oh, candy self-commentating.
LAUGHTER
All right, and he shows a big circular tupperware and came straight back in.
Whereas he lies come back in with two smaller tupperware.
Just one? Just one? One tub. Andy you laughed at you as you walked in there.
Now you got to wonder if that's a hand game. Or is Elyse know something about volumes that we
said? I mean it's going to be touching go but if that doesn't spill at the edge.
All right boys, I'm back in.
I'm a good like, thanks Phil.
Thanks for watching.
I feel like we're like my horse.
Talk us through it and see how you're feeling.
Good.
What?
Now to the naked eye, it looks like...
LAUGHTER
Well, he's one of them.
He's one of them.
To the naked eye, look like your top was nowhere near big enough.
Did he even bat one?
Oh, gee. It's a pretty that one. Oh, I can't even breathe in the sun.
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! No harm, this guy is going to double wherever I was huge.
I'm not even too disappointed with what I came in with.
No, he's a massive waste of space at your feet.
It's barely half thousand, incredibly, like he's.
Geez, this makes for a big last round that's done.
Hey gentlemen, there's something we want to show you.
It's not just butter chicken and rice There was
quite a lot of chocolate cake leftover as well
What you're gonna do how you're gonna handle it?
Okay, it's a full Indian dinner
Plus five slices of chocolate cake. Okay, okay, my favorite Alfredo's yak
Andy has chosen his two tubs and he re-enters the arena.
Okay.
He likes to eat his tubs.
He likes to eat his tubs.
He's the very interesting tubs.
He likes to eat his tubs.
He likes to eat his tubs.
He likes to eat his tubs.
He likes to eat his tubs.
He likes to eat his tubs.
He likes to eat his tubs.
He likes to eat his tubs.
He likes to eat his tubs.
He likes to eat his tubs.
He likes to eat his tubs.
He likes to eat his tubs.
He likes to eat his tubs.
He likes to eat his tubs.
He likes to eat his tubs. He likes to eat his tubs. He likes to eat his tubs. He likes to eat his tubs. I'm going to the cake first. Yep, again.
I'm doing the butter chicken first, so...
Okay, Andy's spooning the right to create a rice base.
That's a deliberate spooning.
Eli tetressing the cake in right now.
Very, very nice.
I like it.
Very, very cool.
He's got four slices in a five, and the fifth one fits.
That's an amazing cake.
That's an amazingly secure cake.
You just so rarely see a cake tucker-weared that way.
And he's got his butter chicken in.
It's a good volume, but he's got, definitely got space in there.
He's definitely got air.
What? Four fifths? Four fifths?
Four fifths full is about right.
I'd say if he like and get this butter chicken
and rice situation, he's gone the butter chicken
on the bottom, I think I know what he's doing
and I don't hate it.
I think I like it, don't.
Because it knows if he puts the rice in on top
and there's some squish on the rice,
it's gonna look much better than if the sauce was squashed
against the rice.
He's squished to the top, yep, that's an absolute pro move.
There's a lot of air in there as well, so I say it's about a four-fifth.
Annie struggling with his game.
He's got a ball in his face.
He's got a ball in his face.
He's shitting himself.
He's shitting himself.
It's too shitting.
It's too shitting.
It's too shitting.
It's too much game.
It's got a scream.
He knows it's too much game. It's too much, it's too much, it's too much, it's too much, it's too much, it's too much, it's too much, it's too much, it's too much, it's too much, it's too much, it's too much, it's too much, it's too much, it's too much, it's too much, it's too much, it's too much, it's too much, it's too much, it's too much, it's too much, it's too much, it's too much, it's too much, it's too much, it's too much, it's too much, it's too much, it's too much, it's too much, it's too much, it's too much, it's too much, it's too much, it's too much, it's too much, it's too much, it's too much, it's too much, it's too much, it's too much, it's too much, it's too much, it's too much, it's too much, it's too much, it's too much, it's too much, it's too much, it's too much, it's too much, it's too much, it's too much, it's too much, it's too much, it's too much, it's too much, it's too much, it's too much, it's too much, it's too much, it's too much, it's too much, it's too much, it's too much, it's too much, it's too much, it's too much, it's too much, it's too much, it's too much, it's too much, it's too much, it's too much, it's too much, it's too much, it's too much, it's too much, it's too much, it's too much, it's too much, it's too much, it's too much, it's too much, it's too much, it's too much, it's too much, it's too much I've got only a little bit of squash frog on the thing. So there, so we're gonna get out of here. We're gonna get out of here.
He lost one, you paid for the ad-bear, he's gonna coin.
Thanks for watching.
Wow.
Thanks for watching.
Yeah, well done, mate.
Oh, good on you, and now that's the spirit.
Yeah, so head to the hotel.
I'm done. Hey, in last show of the year, wrapping up loose ends, obviously fresh off a
tap away loss, which I've decided not to contest. Even the
investor you want, let's just do it. I mean, you have been
contesting on the way back from the other room. But Jack and I, we saw what we saw.
We saw what we saw. And I was a squash cake. Here's a loose end that I
wanted to bring up with you. Got an email from a fellow called Matt McLaughlin.
Yep.
You might recall that we were talking and pondering
about medieval battles and it was such a big space
that which the world was.
Yes, I think you'd been to England.
Yeah. How did you organize where the battle was going to be?
Yeah.
And Jolly armies went to the wrong hill.
Yeah.
Because they were pretty, they were every medieval movie,
if we had to believe them, it was just, you know,
they rock out.
Even which sides are on like, are you north side?
Surely two teams would turn up to the same side,
occasionally.
Oh, sorry, I'm in to be at the far end.
And even if you were the team that turned up to the wrong side,
you would feel like an absolute deal,
walking back to the other side,
and then to put you off your battle.
It's the same as when in Friday night basketball,
social basketball, either wheel black shirts, nowhere white shirts this week.
Right, my God. Okay. Matt writes,
Remedieval Battles. Hi boys, I heard you on the podcast in October 3,
discussing the organization of Medieval Battles.
I am one of Australia's leading battlefield historians and would be happy to come on the show
and talk about it.
Let's get him up right now. Yeah, great. We actually do have some unanswered questions here. Matt, oh, how are you going? Yeah, good, how are you? Very good, Matt. Thanks for reaching out. This is
what is the loose end I wasn't expecting to wrap up today, but I'm glad we are. We pondered
how did they back in medieval times organize where the battle may be and make sure that everyone gets to that exact spot?
Yeah, it's a bit of a complicated one
It doesn't seem straightforward. It seems like a logistical nightmare even modern day. Yeah
So if you think back to medieval times an army was gonna be a very big unit
You know when people are walking around when it's horses
It's gonna be wild and they don't have to be alive, stop behind them.
And you're not going to be able to speak up on anyone.
It's going to take a long time to move anywhere.
And you mentioned Fryer Hill where the battle might occur, but that's probably because
that army is going to camp on the top of the hill so they can look out and see what's coming
in every direction.
Right.
So basically, what we think about these medieval battles, it's really a bunch of bloke playing a gigantic death game speaking around
this I wouldn't actually come to fight right so you don't actually go ahead
but it was quite organized that don't movies have it in
braids like mining up at dawn or like some sort of predetermined kickoff time
do they have a predetermined kickoff yeah pretty funny sometimes they did it
even though some of these battles happened just by random there were some examples of fights that occurred that were very much like a 40-game.
There was a famous one in the 1300s where the wallets and the brick and the wallets of Britain came together
and couldn't decide what they were going to do.
So they basically just said, well, you send 30 bikes, well, you send 30 bikes, and we'll just fight it out on the field.
And it was worth including that.
People turned up and specitated the role of freshman.
And they even had a half-solid,
they even took a break midway through.
We just got out of the way.
Orange is coming.
Sharpening swords, come off.
That's a fabulous idea.
But so surely there's a home ground advantage.
We see these in films,
Brave Arts, one we've mentioned before,
where they went and poured oil all over the battlefield.
And they like know that the army going to turn up the next day and
they know that the army is going to be in that area because they fired fire
arrows onto the field and they burnt half the army before the war the
battle started seems like a bit of an unfair advantage does that stuff go
down how would they funnel people to that place
believe it or not brave heart was an absolute documentary. So it's quite of the fine acting performances. It wasn't actually a pretty good depiction
of what actually went on. Right. The most famous action they depicted in that movie,
the Battle of Sterling Bridge, basically, the Scots waved until the British were
funneling across a small bridge and then ran in and fought at half the Army while the
rest could still run, obviously, on the far side of the bank. So the...
Basic was pretty... Yeah, this was pretty basic fighting, it wasn't a lot of technology involved, there
wasn't a lot of nuance in that, it was pretty tough, a lot of the time.
It does make more sense because we were trying to figure it out for a few days after we
had the conversation of just, even how you find each other.
And even, like if my castle's 100 miles from Andys and we decide through Carrier Pigeon to go to war and he picks a hill 25 miles from his place and
75 miles from mine. Absolutely no deal. We're not walking in extra 50 miles
mate. We'll meet you in the middle or if anything you come a bit towards me. We
want you to. So how would that work when you pick the spot or do they send
them at the same time and they kind of just accidentally meet somewhere along
the way? Yeah that actually happened quite
often that these two big armies are just march towards each other and then they
date meeting wherever with the most convenient spot. But the reason often
happens on hills or near rivers is because those are good places to defend.
And so you're on the top of the hill, you're gonna see people coming from miles
around and that's a good spot to stop and wait for them to come to you. We're
talking about a few in-time where there wasn't many people.
Did armies just sit off and wander around for years and not bump into it?
They often did.
They often did.
They often land.
They often land.
They often land.
They saw an army would land and then they'd go marauding around the empty side.
Sometimes for weeks or months.
Their local peasant will be reporting to the Lord of the Massive Army 33 years.
And it was just the Lord to decide where he was going to stop and try and meet them.
So you know, you offered to have these armies marauding around the countryside, so I
couldn't move fast.
Like Uber Eats when it can't find me here.
My wife is going through a through-row, but it actually isn't.
No, see them wandering around the bay or alright.
Sorry, your army is making a stop nearby for another battle.
They'll be with you soon.
Matt, thanks very much.
Actually, scratchers and itch I've had for a long time.
Cheers, buddy. Thanks for chatting.
Thank you.
Thanks, mate.
Thanks, mate.
Thanks, mate.
Hey, we obviously have had a lot of special skills throughout the year.
Thanks so much to everybody.
Obviously we're back with Avengers 2020.
They just get better and better at the special skills.
But people we've noticed in recent times have been a little nervous.
Yep.
You go to HamishNanny.com, feel at the valued and important
podcast to form.
There's some details there that you can be a part of the show listing a special
skills one that's been pretty prevalent.
You know what you're doing when you come on the show, you're trying to get a coveted Hamish and Andy coin.
I would say and I'd have to check the vault, but I would say less than 20 have gone out.
That'd be right, Mike.
Less than 20 individual coins, we did famously give away two eight coin coins at one stage this year to the Indie IKEA Challenge.
The guy that did build an IKEA bid of furniture
without the instructions perfectly beating.
Faster than Jack.
Back Jack with instructions.
Who can build?
So we just thought that would never happen
and we learned how else and then we got bid a little bit.
The kind, I mean, was the most incredible thing
we've seen all year.
They were rare.
They were rare, the coins.
That's the reward.
Yes.
If you do well, that you know what the risk is.
You could end up in the hall of shame.
Yes.
And we want to reflect on that very hall right now.
From the dawn of the podcast, we've been testing your special skills
and some have been amazing.
It's gone.
It's gone.
It's gone.
It's gone.
It's gone.
It's gone.
However, one epic fail looms large in the conscience of all our very important
podcasters.
Oh no, I'm in that Jimpsons guy.
No one wants to be the Jimpsons guy.
I'm in that Jimpsons guy.
Brat, this Simpson's guy, who claimed intimate knowledge of the series, but could not deliver.
Just give us a Simpson's book.
How you play it with him?
Um.
Oh my god. How are you playing with it? Um...
Oh my god!
We're an accepted doll!
So, in 2019, as we look back at our special skills fall of shame, did anyone's failure surpass that of the Simpson's guy?
William claimed to be able to identify the location of a slap on somebody's
body just from the sound alone, and he was confident.
We'll lose 100% every time.
Oh 100% there's exactly the level of confidence we like here.
But couldn't deliver.
Just above the hip.
No.
He was a long way above it was there.
It was my cheek.
It was my cheek.
It was my cheek.
It started above the hip though. It was not the back.
Shoulder.
Bicep.
Pick.
Oh, it was a tummy.
Can you ever tell anyone that you can see it?
I'm 100% to the start of this.
I'm a man of mention, though.
However, his failure wasn't as bad as Lachlan, who claimed this.
Without fail, I can tell the gender of any dog just by looking at its face.
Really?
Some are harder than others.
Yeah.
Like the curly hair dog.
Dog number one.
Is that a golden retrieval?
Golden retrieval.
Yep.
Tough breed.
Female.
Roll.
Oh, dog number two two Australian bulldog. I feel like that
Female it's as a soft iron you're right
We're going to that looks like a female
Grudel female male and Italian match to nail its female I'm going to tear off a bit of scrap paper here and just win in grey say, cheers. I was going to write cheers and I was saying a hamish.
And it's obviously implied, although I won't write it.
Yeah, I'm in it for nothing.
Yeah.
Locke still walked away with something,
so he wasn't the worst of the year.
That honor surely falls to Jake.
With another TV show based skill,
would this performance push him over the edge
to replace Simpson's guy at the top of the hall of shame?
You have written you can correctly identify the season and episode number of any two and a half man episode by synopsis
If he's in the Charlie Sheen era, so you're not interested in Kutcher. No, absolutely not
But it was just one wrong answer after another
season four episode 13 Not really not, but it was just one wrong answer after another. Season 4, Episode 13.
Season 3, Episode 8.
Season 4, Episode 6.
Season 4, Episode 13.
Season 5, Episode 1.
Definitely Season 5, Episode 14.
Season 6, Episode 18.
Ah!
And it got to the point where Jake faced a tough decision. at the third floor team. Season 6, episode 18. Ah! Oh, shit!
And it got to the point where Jake faced a tough decision.
We'll continue.
If you get one right, we won't mention how badly
you've gone ever again.
Yes.
If you get one wrong, you would be close to having claimed
for being one of the worst skills we've had on.
Yes.
Would you like to keep going?
Absolutely.
Will this be one of the biggest singers you have
that has ever darkened the doorstep of the
English and Ernie podcast.
Okay, since the Simpsons quote guy,
couldn't think of his own Simpsons quote.
I think of a single thing that Homer says.
Have we had someone this poor?
So far, you haven't got a season correct.
Here comes your final synopsis.
Charlie sees an attractive ballet teacher named Mia
at a coffee shop, but she isn't interested in him.
Causing him to go head over heels to win her.
Ah, remember the episode?
I remember the episode, it definitely season three, I think.
We'll go episode three.
Remember, season three, episode four is coming in.
Yeah, 100%.
Yeah, we're going to have a season right.
Yeah.
Yeah, I'm 100%.
Season three, episode four was your guess.
Season three, episode eight.
Oh, I need a little closer, but to help with you, sir.
Jake, one of the worst, please never say, No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, please never say... Oh, Jay won, they just do that.
Uh, every game, but they can only be 20 or 30.
Paul, sure, Jake.
So one correct season saves Jake from the King of the Fowl years.
Long made a Simpsons guy, Reign Supreme, in his special skill,
being a spectacular failure.
Can't be worse than a Simpsons.
No, he's top of the limps, I'm a littleiter. You basically have to guess nothing.
Hey, a couple of weeks ago, we stumbled across a new segment called Keep It Or Delete
It, essentially where...
It was invented on the fly, wasn't it?
Because I knew I was going to open or cross a line that maybe once crossed you can't
uncross, where I wanted to share a legitimate cooking tip on the podcast because I see the
podcast as family and I don't cook a lot and when you discover the way to make perfect
crunchy potatoes, it just felt like I had to share it with the family.
Now I know it's boring content, that's the trade off.
I voted to the ladies.
That the trade off was this stinks.
If you've come to this show for fun comedy, real turd.
That's it, that's it, absolutely.
There's none of it.
There's none of it in the potatoes.
However, because we know a lot of life,
we can decide that after the fact.
We can go actually, how do you?
Don't you do that on this show?
And we can keep it orderly that that was the deal made.
I'm glad we kept it.
Yeah.
Because I've had a lot of people
contacting the show, sending in picks of the potatoes.
Yes.
Gotta say again, though, don't use olive oil.
People have missed that tip.
Could use rice bran, something with a much higher smoker point.
OK.
OK, you've had yours.
LAUGHTER
I wanted to throw something out there.
I know it's gonna be tough to get past you guys,
but I do think it's interesting.
The president's cup is a gold tournament.
Yeah, coming up in two weeks time.
Don't we have to, when do we decide to keep it all deleted?
I'm just gonna race.
Should this be deleted?
No, this can't be deleted.
Two weeks to the open.
There is fact about the president's cup
that's happening in two weeks time in Australia.
All the best golfers in the world are coming out tiger woods
okay anyway go into it go into it we'll see we'll see
well I'm very disappointed that
that's for you I'm good Jack we know we should we could delete that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, It's so powerful. It's not a leak. It's true. It's like, you know.
We want it, I mean, we've just been given a brand new sling shot.
You're walking around with a camera in your head.
I mean, we thought we could take the shot, we were right.
I respect that.
But, you know, feel free to tweet out your fun facts.
Like do it in your own time.
Put it on your own platform.
I mean, not in a place where people come for entertainment.
Picking golf was a huge...
That's right.
No, well, the cooking thing I've ever...
Everyone knows.
Let's let's...
I mean, who hasn't eaten a potato?
Let's be a bit more open to it in the next time.
Well, now that we've got one kill, one scalp,
and it felt fun, we could probably relax
the rules a little bit,
but I think we still have to have a pretty stringent.
Well, it's gotta be interesting.
It's gotta be interesting,
and I'll value to the wider community.
I don't think that was.
I'm not gonna go back into what the fact was.
Bye.
Back to the game.
The game.
The game.
The game.
The game.
The game.
Oh, it's come to this.
I'm excited.
I look I'm excited as well.
I'm bloody excited.
Thank you to everybody again for an amazing year.
You're the best people in the world out podcast.
They really are.
Tell a friend, tell me you're back to number one.
Yep.
This is episode 80 of the podcast 40-year-old year.
For 40 years, that was the pledge.
Um.
Good to have you two down here, 38 to go.
Um, pal Moose, we're back to the next year.
We'll get the book launch happening.
Yeah, it's coming, the book's coming, but don't worry about it.
The book only gets better.
The more we kick it down the road.
Yes.
But if there's one thing we don't like doing on this show,
it's just saying a big thing like, you know,
we wouldn't say something like we're gonna do 40 shows for 40 years
And then come through unless we meant it and we don't do things on the show promise a big finish
You do not promise something unless you've got it now back when I promised the big finish
I think it was sort of around about July
I ep 52 I I thought the elements were in place. I'm so glad I didn't do it that day
Because it was not my decision.
It was a couple of admin bureaucratic issues,
feel logistical issues that stopped the big finish
from happening that show.
I, it wouldn't have been good,
but it wouldn't have been great,
because I didn't have the right people.
I didn't have the right cast for the big finish.
The whole point of the big finish was
that you want the episode to go out in a bang.
You want people to go,
you want people to chuck their headphones down and be like,
well, that's just been blown away. I don't want to listen to anything in three months.
Yeah, yeah. You want them to sustain everyone across the summer lows.
So I had to pre-record it. I couldn't get everyone to do it in the room with us.
But I've given the audio file to Jack.
Okay, I would like to. We're leaving everybody with this. This is it.
Well, it should play out. I can't see any reason why we can't back on it.
We won't talk after or not.
I can't see any reason we would.
Okay.
We'd only talk if something went wrong,
but it should just play out.
Fine.
Okay.
Since the dawn of about July,
Hey Mish has promised a big finish.
Big, big wish.
Due to similar gisticle issues outside of his control,
the Big Finish was postponed until October.
Big Finish!
At which time, unfortunately, a couple more admin issues
pushed the Big Finish to the last podcast of the...
Yeah, Big Finish!
Many thought he was bluffing.
I've been waiting for it.
He knew it would be a baby.
Come on.
Many called him a liar.
Could it be another big hemish-bleig-loy?
What is it, man?
He did not let these slurs and insult stop him.
The way...
BITCH!
He worked tirelessly sending out invites to huge stars and special guests
to all come together for the big finish.
But in you, in his heart, he was just one man asking the impossible.
Can you, Beyonce, Jay-Z, Taylor Swift, Jennifer Aniston, the rest of the friend's cast?
All plot a list property from this year's headlines. Surely they would not answer the call.
He heard headlines. Surely they would not answer the call. He heard nothing.
Until.
Suddenly, responses.
Text messages. One after the other.
As you can hear, all replied in the affirmative.
He couldn't believe it. Everyone had said yes.
Everyone wanted to be part of the big finish.
And they all gathered in the studio to lay down 30 seconds of incredible audio.
Would you please get ready as we hear a cook-up and he of stars.
Do the big finish with Rihanna singing a solo about this year's chicken fest ladies and gentlemen with no further ado
Here is the audio of the big Oh no!
Oh! Fuck!
He's on it!
Fire!
Jack do it! Time's up, you have failed!
Oh you're deleted!
We have scrubbed forever!
Play plastically for the fate of the message in our pay the ransom!
Age of message!
Oh no!
Jack!
We got ransom-bottied!
If only you had that Bitcoin!
I'm still locked out from last week. I have not found the Bitcoin password.
I know.
I mean, I don't know.
That's no.
I was hoping you wouldn't be.
I only you debate it quickly then.
But why were you hoping?
Did you know about that?
No, no.
I was hoping you wouldn't be long.
No, just hearing it then for the first time.
I was like, this seems strange to me.
Pre-recorded.
No, that was the issue.
You should have heard, I'm shocked actually,
because you should have heard. No, you should have heard. I'm shocked actually, because you should have heard...
No, you should have heard...
You should have heard...
You should have heard...
You should have heard...
You should have heard...
You should have heard...
You should have heard...
You should have heard...
You should have heard...
You should have heard...
You should have heard...
You should have heard...
You should have heard...
You should have heard...
You should have heard...
You should have heard...
You should have heard...
You should have heard...
You should have heard... You should have heard... You should have heard... You should have heard... You should have heard... the audio was there. Yeah. And then just before it's happened, we've been hacked, annoying.
And that bot you heard, not me, because of the robot.
I was asking Jack.
I was asking Jack for the point 189 of a Bitcoin, he must have known he had from the dark
web.
But Jack's lost the password.
Jack failed to put the Bitcoin in.
We lost the audio.
So Jack's fault.
Yes, that's what you're saying.
Yeah. Oh, Jack. We lost the audio so jacks fault is that's what you're saying. Yeah
Was it good can you tell us what it was so good? Oh really?
So big too, it's a second We will see you definitely see you next year next year everybody. Oh the TV show Sunday night
You can catch up for final episode. We'll be back next year. We're the big start Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, www.hammishanandhi.com