Hamish & Andy - Hamish & Andy 2020 Ep 101

Episode Date: July 22, 2020

1. Bitcoin scammer 2. Flippy square 3. Golf club special skill 4. H&A tribunal ...

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 A LISTEN-UP PRODUCTION Activate your internet Cause the hay mission and the podcast starts in 3, 2, sorry, still buffering 1 One! In the red corner, ohhoi to Hamish! Let's get rid of Lutcus! How are you mate, ohhoi? Ohhoi, in the blue corner, I'm, because I'm wearing blue. And in a unlucky college.
Starting point is 00:00:36 Yeah, I'm stuck here. We haven't got to change these tracksuits. We change about five times at the start. And then when I got the worst colour, we never changed again. Ohhoi to you, Jacko. In the sick, I've already vomited colored voluwa. It is a Jackpost. Also, I don't think we were, Jack.
Starting point is 00:00:52 Look, we'll bring it up in another date, Jacko. But it's, it's, it's, it made me think, it could freshen up the show. Yeah, it's a show is getting stale. You think it could have said we did it at Gusto? Well, I wondered whether it was the, the lack of Gusto was because of the color of Jacko. But that Gusto has been rocking it since then. You our gusto. Well, I wondered whether the lack of gusto was because of the color of the deck.
Starting point is 00:01:06 But our gusto has been rocking. You were not in five, of course. No, my gusto has been, I've had gusto and gumption. Gumption. Right. Gumption isn't gumption like quite... Bolognous. Yeah, right.
Starting point is 00:01:20 Bolognous. Yep. What have you done this year, it's ballsing. Why you said, yeah, it was the less gumption. It's Paul's. Wait, you said yeah, it was the less gum. Like a gum, too. Much like a like a gusto, which we have covered Jack. All right, you can see he been working on it. It's certainly not up to where we would like it to be, but...
Starting point is 00:01:35 I just worried the show's getting a bit dull. Yeah, the end of the day. So maybe some vibrant dressing, Ben. I'm haint a hoi to Michaela in Salt Lake City. Oh, hey, Mission, mission Andy and Jack as well. This is Michaela from Salt Lake City, Utah. I'm just wanting to see if this is really as hard as everybody keeps saying it is to download the audio recording. And I wanted to reach out and say that I love your guys' podcast and listening to it on my commute to work.
Starting point is 00:02:06 Today I plan on going mountain biking and learning how to do a wheelie. Hamish encouraged me to do that with his learning as well. So good luck Hamish and happy birthday Andy. I was able to upload that one because we're since called off the wheelie haven't we? That's where you would have found out what my secret's towards. But maybe she's referencing that she's heard the call off. Yeah, which was only about a month ago. So we know she's been out of do it in under the month. Usually it takes people about a month.
Starting point is 00:02:34 I like the guy who said, is this as hard as everyone says it is? So she's obviously got mates that have tried and have failed. And uploading the like in her mountain biking club. It's still working fine. Jack Oat. I mean, I had down here, you know, it's now episode 101, we wanted to get an idea
Starting point is 00:02:54 where the Bitcoin is at. A lot of people write in about it going, is Jack even trying to fall? Well, you might be getting this as well, but as soon as there's any article that says, overseas travel looks like it'll be opened up soon. People send this to me and go watch out for Andy because as soon as overseas travel is open.
Starting point is 00:03:10 To be asked, because on its way. You owe him a big favor. Oh, I'm going to use the Bitcoin by then. Because Greece has opened up for holidays from Australia, but the Australian government hasn't said. You've got to get there. You can go. So we're getting close.
Starting point is 00:03:25 I only have a small window now to find your Bitcoin and my Bitcoin, which share a password together that I can't find. So I was lucky enough to get an Instagram message from a guy called Brad who offered to help me find the Bitcoin. That's good. Do you have the username or like, am I right in saying you need a wallet, number, and then a password?
Starting point is 00:03:49 Yeah, so I had to, without getting too technical, I had to reset my wallet and then use a 24-word seed that is a long, just a long password of 24 words to try to reinvigorate that wallet. And it was like, I'm reinvigorating it. So it's essentially turning it off and on. Yes.
Starting point is 00:04:12 But what it does with the 24 word password, it is something, you don't set those 24 words. No. So you get given them. Yeah. So that's why it's harder to remember them. You definitely have to write it down. It generates the 24 words for you. Essentially essentially, that's uncrackable. I wrote them down. I thought I had them. Then when I went to reactivate it, the 24 words I had
Starting point is 00:04:33 didn't work and I couldn't reactivate it. Right. So I either have another password lost somewhere or I've written down this password role. Right. And then normal words, it's just like normal English words. Yeah, like genre. it's just not normal English words. Yeah, like genre, aloof. Right, these words, you're spelling this. I think I'm a J-E-N. So that's essentially where Brad comes in. He message me on Instagram and said, Hey, I can get your big coin back.
Starting point is 00:04:59 I'll just need a copy of the wallet file and your recovery phrase, which is that 24 word phrase. Right. So I said, Brad, how can I trust you? And then he went through this really, what I've seen, I deem as a very trustworthy list of things to say this is why you can trust me. He said he works for one of the major banks.
Starting point is 00:05:21 I won't name what the bank is. He said it. He said, I work for one of the major banks, you can ring them and just ask him. And ask him if he's a Brad there. I said, essentially, that's what he said. He said, you can ask them, my name, and they'll tell you and verify who I am. So I didn't do that by so much. Well, if he's, I'm not going to call his bluff on that, but did he leave a number? Yep. He left, he left a number, and he said, he's full name, any even said an employee number. So I thought, all right, well, that checks out. Yeah, but not really. I didn't actually make the
Starting point is 00:05:51 step to go and verify, but I thought he wouldn't throw that out unless I unless he was yeah, the only reason he throw that out of the few was sometimes gamma. The other thing he said is then if at any point your coins leave your address, if you see that your bitcoins have gone, then you know that it's me and then you can charge me. So again, I don't really know how to do that. Like check if Bitcoin have left my address. Good, that's good. He's good, good.
Starting point is 00:06:17 He's giving you a lot of what seemed like levers. But might actually just be chopsticks and polystyrene on the end that he painted it made himself See you a lot of stuff that you reckon is like you can get him with so you wrote back So I wrote actually even I said well this is this is sounding all above board So here's my number you can make it cool and we can chat more about it and then on the phone He he was even more convinced and did he and did he call for a private number? No, he even gave me his mobile number which I have okay, okay, so I thought this is all above board And then I'm seeing his Instagram. I can see his picture. He's going out for dinner and stuff
Starting point is 00:06:52 So he's real he's going up a more dinner since he gave him all your info So how long ago did you give him this so this was two months ago? And you have have you been back in touch with him? Okay, this is what he said. He knows a lot about computers. Yeah. He said, I'm not, he's like, you're 75 on a car and a fair. Explaining that you've got dittled.
Starting point is 00:07:19 He said, he knows he can build a program that will take those 24 words and check for any spelling mistakes or words that are spelled close to that. 630.com. And it will essentially, what did he call it? It's like trying to run all the combinations. It'll run all the combinations, trying to figure out if he can get into this Bitcoin.
Starting point is 00:07:39 Okay. Okay. He said it could take three weeks because the program, he just leaves it on overnight. Okay. So I left the first month, I just let him go and thought, okay, great. He said it could take three weeks because the program he just leaves it on overnight. Okay. So I left the first month, I just let him go and thought, okay, great, Brad's running the program. He should be back in contact soon. In the corner of his bedroom, just running HelpjackOut.exe. Then Andy will get his big coin back. I'll get mine back.
Starting point is 00:08:03 We might even give him a small reward for doing all. That's more parade. So that first month went by and I started to think, okay, well, I haven't really heard from Brad yet. I better go check on him. So I call his mobile number a couple of times and he doesn't pick up. I send him a text saying, hey, Brad,
Starting point is 00:08:22 just trying to reach out. Let me know if you're a rant. Probably busy coding or reading the printout. It's the guy you're currently scaring. Brad, when you're formulated a good excuse, please give me the call. Let me film you in a bit. We'll see you go with my own identity. But if you're using it today, let me know.
Starting point is 00:08:39 Maybe we could do Monday, Wednesday, Friday, on May, Tuesday, Thursday, you'll meet. So we got his number. So he hasn't come back yet. So he got his number. And then the other place I tried him was on Instagram, a messaging that was the original place he came to me. And then I realized since I started talking to him, he doesn't use Instagram anymore.
Starting point is 00:08:58 He's got no new photos up. How many posts had he done? He'd only done two photos of himself. The rest were all like pets and his dog is like... And he's like... Getty. Who will have an axel? There's only two photos of the guys meant to be Brad. And then he's not doing anything on Instagram. He's not answering his phone. We can try and call it from here because I would... Let call it But there's no way but it's a burner phone I mean what are you saying could be true that he has a program here?
Starting point is 00:09:34 Yeah, but the incentive to give you back your money is zero. No exactly and then this is the other thing that made me believe him He said he'd already made heaps of money off Bitcoin This is the other thing that made me believe him. He said he'd already made heaps of money off Bitcoin. I needed to buy this stuff. Like an Algerian prince that doesn't need any money. I thought, oh, he's not gonna want to steal it. Oh, of course. He's own or other.
Starting point is 00:09:52 That's why the prince just needs my bank account. Yeah, and he's willing, because it's $100 million, he wouldn't otherwise get. That's why he's giving me half. Mum and Dad, you don't understand read the email okay Brad I mean I've tried this number a hundred times did it go to messy paints a desperate picture unbelievable he's see it's probably dangling He's probably dangling. What does he mean, you are calling me?
Starting point is 00:10:23 He's a scammer. He's a thief. It's probably dangling of the master, he's yacht. And he's in the Caribbean drinking champagne, laughing every time he rings. Do you have a surname, Jack? Well, I've got the surname that he gave me. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:10:38 OK. Let's try, say it out loud. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no Yeah, I felt like Jack. Sorry, Jack. I think. MUSIC MUSIC MUSIC MUSIC MUSIC MUSIC Ando. And, Jackie Boy, it's been a little while since the Cup of Ball, the Sphere. Not that long enough.
Starting point is 00:11:15 Change our lives. Not long enough. Much like... I suppose there are two big moments in the Earth's history when a round object calls such a stir. Yep. The wheel. Asteroid. Oh, that's perfect. Bigger than the wheel.
Starting point is 00:11:28 The asteroid that wiped out the dinosaurs. Then the wheel. Let's go through it. Because the invention of the wheel was huge. Oh, I think we were going to figure the wheel out anyway. But the sphere. The compass. The sphere.
Starting point is 00:11:38 That's a life changer. Yes. So my life has been reached. It's been a smear on this show. Not a smear sphere. I think we've enjoyed so much the abundance of the spheres. And it has changed our lives and we all feel better for it. Now, putting that to one side for a moment,
Starting point is 00:11:55 I would have thought that Instagram, because that's where this all started, these targeted ads hitting me up, you've got to get this fear. More than meets the eye, very true. We discover a lot of different uses for it. Yeah. I would have thought that once they detected I purchased two,
Starting point is 00:12:11 they'd go, okay, this guy's had enough. We've got him. Yeah. No, just let him be. He's got it out of his system now. He's bought some stuff. But in fact, they've been targeting me quite a bit. More, more.
Starting point is 00:12:22 I was I thought they've gone, I've got him, let's move on to someone else. Yeah, that's what I would have thought. To share the ads around. Yeah. Because I don't want to be an ad hog. The last thing in the world I want to be is eating up all the ads if someone else wants to see them.
Starting point is 00:12:33 Is it possible that they know that you're a weak, I don't know, a weakling. A mark. When it comes to one line, the brain is a circling. So one line puts it. But I, I, for the good of my family and stuff, you know, because you can't drain that, you can't, and the good of the joint bank account.
Starting point is 00:12:50 Can't drain that thing, you know, I'll just unfrivolous purchases. I myself have raised the bar and gun right from now on. Yes. They don't know the LED hat. They don't know that. They don't know how hard my guard's up. Yeah. So I say that by bringing to the table, something has caught my eyes.
Starting point is 00:13:07 I just say, I just want you to know it. Obviously, it has to be good for it to catch my eye as good as the coppers fear. Dare I say better? Because... What's the name? No. Obviously, Instagram knows this guy likes metal-shaped things. Yeah, right.
Starting point is 00:13:25 There's a new thing going around now that's been... Has been winking at me a bit online. Would it be in the same room as your coppersphere? Is sphere or would you put it in a different room? No, same room. And you'd be come to be known as that kind of guy that has industrial grade high-finish metal objects on his desk. What a great thing to be known as.
Starting point is 00:13:43 The sphere, I think we all agree. One of its main properties was the weight, deceptively heavy, full size. Oh yeah, my TV. And all the other stuff that it did, but we enjoyed all the stuff it did. This is a square, a very, very not copper, I believe it's aluminium, high-grade aircraft quality steel.
Starting point is 00:14:01 Okay. Highly polished, with some matte pieces on it. It feels like polish is one of the the main things that I've made attributes to any of these items because you can't do anything else with it. Well, that's a bit unfair. Okay. But what is what is it? It's what's it advertised as? It's a square. It's very satisfying square. A satisfying square. A satisfying, very satisfying desk square that can flip end to end. And it's obviously got a sort of a flat.
Starting point is 00:14:28 Any square can flip it. No, not this one though, when you see the shape. Not like this one. I can't look this way. Jack, I'm going to hand it over to you. You just have a look at that. I'm just read out some of the things on the ad there, precision machines.
Starting point is 00:14:39 It looks like. Well, it's a flippy square. It's a square that flips end to end. And you can flip it from one hand to the other. Yeah. Okay. Create competition is one of the things. You can have two of them that flip against each other.
Starting point is 00:14:51 You can see the object decree on the top. It fits in any pocket. Yep, it sees very small. It's not true. Play playful. Yep. That's also not true, that it... Mesmerizing.
Starting point is 00:15:00 All right, so it's like they're using it as a spinning top sometimes, and then, yes, obviously, we heard that. It's a flinch. No, no, a good question. And you know, it's completely they're using it as a spinning top sometimes and then yes, obviously We heard that the flip it. No, no a good question And you know it's completely safe for kids. It's a beveled edge a beveled and it can so it put it on And do you see the leather sleeve? I did yeah, it's got a son of a leather sleeve right It's like he's using it really as a tech deck. Do you remember tech decks? No, that's cool You can really you can master your own tricks And it flips sort of end to end. I am.
Starting point is 00:15:28 Oh my gosh, no. Very interesting. So it's more in the fidget spinner realm. Yeah, it seems like a fidget spinner. Well, it's up to you how you want to use it. I mean, that's the beauty of it. Here was the sphere is, it's a personal piece of the sphere. I believe this is more.
Starting point is 00:15:41 What's it called? I've just never made a flippy square, the flippant square. And it can flip end on end too. That's the bit of it, because it's a square, every edge is also an end. So you've got a good value for money there in a sense that you've got four tops, four bottoms, four sides. I don't want to be needing to do it with this one.
Starting point is 00:16:01 I'm interested. I knew there could be a bit of disagreement. So I was just trying to see if it actually has a name. The inventors haven't even thought of a name. That's how quickly they've rushed this thing out. I've seen a little bit of Colony. Colony, Colony B here. And that's why I thought maybe we could settle our differences over a rap. Oh, here we go. Here's a B. Uh oh. Hey, my boys. Now we got the cup of spear. You think I might be satisfied for a whole year, but while I love that spear like Lice loves hair, I think I have to get a flipping metal square
Starting point is 00:16:28 Hey hey, it's me, you conscience, Andy Lee, that square is literally a thing no one needs I'm trying to put it simply and I'm trying not to swear, you didn't need the ball and you don't need the square Well if it isn't the old buddy, paper andy Lee, don't just come and blow, Ziggy smoked gone me I didn't It's gonna be so cool, and you won't believe, how fresh I look, when I crack that leather sleeve. Somehow you found a thing worse than the ball, it's something that does less than anything at all.
Starting point is 00:16:54 It flips, and it flops, and it stands on its top, and the list of things it can do, won't stop. But the list has stops, that's all it can do, and you can't really count, flip and flop as two. Hey, man, maybe you're getting sick of golf Maybe the square could feel that big-life golf I won't mention you rhymed golf with golf And by the way, I'm not getting sick of golf
Starting point is 00:17:14 Well now who's rhymed golf with golf? If this was golf, you would have lost it golf Well I won't lose the game of laughing at you Cause if you buy that square, that's all I'm gonna do Yeah, well I'm gonna must and you move in tricks so you can eat a bag of superior guys guys It's just a small metal square let's not ruin what we have that's rare I know, Hame Spendee but he's not that dumb I think his whole thing's just been a bit of fun
Starting point is 00:17:39 I bought four I bought fourth squares I knew it, no What a waste to make one mega square. Why four? By three, get one free. And by two. Is that true? Yes.
Starting point is 00:17:49 No, I think you make, you know, maybe it requires a lot of deals on the website. I'm not saying they're not popular. They are, they're selling like hotcakes, don't they? But at the same, no, at the same time, the company's also very generous as a thank you for the demand that they're experiencing. and that they're experiencing. and Jack and I as non-Golfers deemed it to still be interesting. It's a golf-related special skill. You, alleged, you can identify the type of club impacting a ball
Starting point is 00:18:31 during a golf shot without seeing the club, just off the audio. Just off the audio just by hearing it. Now, you've come hot enough a golf course. You are wearing a title-less hat. Is that a sponsor thing or just a hat you like? No, possibly a sponsor in the future. Yeah, well, you run a daily school. Any deal with title list or is this conflicting with a current deal?
Starting point is 00:18:57 I quite like title list. Under the rich get richer. No, my players were on title list. Jared Lyle, a friend of ours rich get richer. No, you've come on my favourite players were on titles. Jared Lyle, a friend of ours, titleist. Yes, okay, I'll give you that one. I haven't bet do you have any requirements to say you like? No, I don't have any requirements to say, I like any. Not at the moment.
Starting point is 00:19:16 Okay, good, good. Anyway, well, if you can do this, we've got no doubt that you'll go on to be a commentator. I mean, the skill has so many commercial applications. Exactly. Particularly because it's very difficult to, because in crowds, golf games, it's very difficult to see what I'm there using their clubs. Right. So you could tell by hearing it, they wouldn't have to send someone out there.
Starting point is 00:19:41 It's so confusion. Yeah, exactly. They're a confusion, so we feel like, if you're successful, broadcasting golf in the future might sound a bit like this. Tiger Woods here with his approach on 16. I think he's about 165 yards out. I can't quite see what club he's taking. I know, are he's all have a listen?
Starting point is 00:20:01 That's a night iron. Well done, William you, extraordinary stir. I played you in the fantasy here. That was great. That's a nomma. And that is what you've got in your future. If you can nail this. I can't wait.
Starting point is 00:20:14 Pressure's on. Great question. I know this is a visual one. I know I've mentioned your hat. Can I quickly mention your necklaces? Do you have a wooden elephant? Is it a good luck charm? Um, sure.
Starting point is 00:20:24 I've just had it for a while. Have a wooden elephant? Is it a good luck charm? Sure. I've just had it for a while. They're more to it than that, or is it? I love elephants. Yeah, they're nice. And they're good. Well, we were about to find out whether it's a good luck charm. But I was just sort of,
Starting point is 00:20:36 it was just being displayed prominently. I like it a lot. But I thought maybe this is, you pulling out all the stops here to try and give you a bit of good luck in the town. So this goes barely, I might be throwing it out. So we hope not. William, there's gonna be five shots.
Starting point is 00:20:51 Five shots. Did we do the trick one? No, a whole. And Annie recorded these at home. He is, he may be aware, is like enough to have a facility where he can record. Must be very nice. It must be very nice, Will.
Starting point is 00:21:04 Not a thing that you and I have to meet with, but he can record. Must be very nice. Must be very nice, Will. Not a thing that you and I have to meet with, but he can record a full fledgolf shot with ball inside. How? Luckily, he has the simulator. So you will hear the, I think you hear the thump of the ball hitting the screen, don't you? Yes, but it won't affect the sound of impact. You just hear it after. And you're hitting off fat grass? Yep. And you may hear the scurrying footsteps of a Butler picking up over. Just, and the quite polishing of the ball
Starting point is 00:21:32 as it gets returned to Andy. But that is just for the highly trained ear. Okay. I reckon if you get three out of five, it's a coin. Okay. Okay. Because for people who don't know, there are 12 clubs to choose from you.
Starting point is 00:21:44 Yeah. Okay. And are we, are you working off there are 12 clubs to choose from you. Yeah. Okay. And are we, are you working off the tee with a pada? Or is that it? Sorry, that was the trick one I was gonna say. Oh, yeah. No pada. No pada.
Starting point is 00:21:53 No pada. Okay. First shot. You ready to get in? I'd love to. It's very slicey. Oh, it hurts. Actually actually went down the middle. It's easy. I think it might be an eight.
Starting point is 00:22:07 Oh. Seven. Oh, bad though. I remember if you've just chained in there at 12 clubs this year's from, the mastermist hit it. I don't like it like a high end. Just cruise ship, 12 clubs that you're from, you'll never be bought.
Starting point is 00:22:30 Just so you know, recorded a lot of bad shots. Okay, but the ones that were clean, I didn't want him to go, oh, hang on, that wasn't hit cleaning. Oh yeah, I hit it with the end of the hand. Okay, the next shot, Jack. Oh, I think I'm gonna go that as an eight. Do you want me to give him one more time?
Starting point is 00:22:52 Yeah, I'd love to. Oh, no, it's hit a bit more firmly. I'm gonna go drop down to a six, actually. Four. But he was going in the right direction. All right, a couple of range finers here. Okay. You need to get three from three here. And what I think is a very different game
Starting point is 00:23:10 because I've been listening back to these and they should have laid the same game. They should have labelled correctly because I can't hear the difference. William, what's this club? And again. Oh, that's, um, it's further down again. I think. I'm going to go.
Starting point is 00:23:30 Are you listening for pitch here? Like the higher pitch is a higher number. And more of like a lighter sound is like, you know, the eights and nines and so on. I think that was a bit more of a thumb. So I'm going to go to I think that was a bit more of a cutthumb. So I'm going to go to iron. So three wood.
Starting point is 00:23:53 So you've gone away from an iron face into a more... Okay, a mahogany. Yeah, that's my honking. To have a lump of mahogany that you treat with such disrogaard. Yes, must be quite nice. No, I think they're more titanium or I don't know what the what are the phases are. Oh, you can get anything that's not carbon fiber. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:24:14 All right. Well, it's straight zero from three. We're going to persist. Let's persist. Let's do it. Here we go. That's a very sloppy one. Oh, I think we're still in the woods, kind of, gree. Maybe a hybrid.
Starting point is 00:24:38 Are you giving it to me or is that a... No, don't do it. I don't think that was a wood at all. I think that's more of like your pitching wedge. He's got it. He's got it. So he's not the Simpson's guy. We're just very good news to you. What a little bit subpar.
Starting point is 00:24:57 Let's give the last one in just to see. I get that one again, please. I think that was the hybrid. That's a six-time. Oh, yep. You're not very good at William. It's pretty bloody hard. It's bloody hard, isn't it? How has it occurred?
Starting point is 00:25:18 How has it manifested in real life where you've guessed it correctly? You just sort of heard something behind you because you said you were at a golf course. Yeah. So I've heard a lot of golf balls been hitting my time. And so you just sort of spin around and go, oh mate, four on? And they go, geez, I do that. I haven't ever done that until the other day
Starting point is 00:25:34 when I was like, oh, I may as well test it out. And I asked two golfers and I said, oh, like I took a guess in my head and I said, oh, what cup was that? And they said something completely different to what I was doing. And that said something completely different. What I was thinking. And that was after I'd been called in. So, which wouldn't have been a confidence
Starting point is 00:25:50 being a third of it, a third of it, a better in the world. And that's when you went to the, I'm going to need to take the elephant in. Yeah, elephant didn't work at the end. But you made the right call. Yeah. A token of no value, come of your way. Thanks for coming.
Starting point is 00:26:01 Oh, so thanks guys, thanks for having me. And it's with a heavy, but necessary heart. We bring up the next item of business. This is not fun. Well, it's not fun. It's the first time this has happened on the show. And one of the show, my interest is fun. Yeah, and gusto. I think we can still maintain our gusto. Yeah, but it's sort of a serious gusto.
Starting point is 00:26:28 Yes. Sort of like a high energy frowning. Yes, we assume what we need to talk about. Start at getting throughout the week, email started pinging both sides of the fence. DM started pinging in after episode 100, which was meant to be a celebration. Yeah. There's a subreddit floating around out there that people were sending a screenshots of the thread of. There was an issue with last week's special skills test. A man called Nick, he funded up and we loved it for episode 100
Starting point is 00:26:57 because it was very meta. It was a special skill about special skills. Yeah. Could name the episode any special skill had landed in and we thought, wow, what a great way to celebrate the century with a fan of the show. And it's someone with an encyclopedia knowledge, certainly even better than ours. But a few people. Yeah, we must say we haven't had an issue with it. I haven't got an issue with this. We're merely reporting the facts.
Starting point is 00:27:18 Exactly. But people did take umbrage to it. We started, we started seeing a lot of people independently going, hey, don't you reckon that this Nick fellow could have been perhaps not, because we asked him, you know, you're not cheating and he said, no, I'm not cheating. And that's usually, that's we're happy with that. And but a few people said, start raising the question
Starting point is 00:27:39 of perhaps imagining how they would do it and going, there could be a loophole here. Can I read you a subreddit here, Ham? Never been on it, but it's fascinating. So the special, the heading, the title of it, it's a special skills guy on app 100 was absolutely cheating. Wow. And this is where everyone would jump in.
Starting point is 00:27:55 Unproven that, that's a slander. That is slander. That's a slander. Allegedly. That's a legit hit. Someone's written, he missed the fourth on purpose, because you knew he's always gonna get a coin. I want Hamish's truth eagle to fly and then shoot lasers of justice out of its eyes. That's all right, it's jumping at the bit.
Starting point is 00:28:10 It's the truth, they're gonna last me this morning to take its hood off and I said, wait, there's a process. Another one wrote, we need Hamish to launch a royal commission into the special skill cheating. Has it happened before? Will it happen again? So this is how real it is.
Starting point is 00:28:22 So they're gonna sort of go, you don't stamp this out and you send a clear message to the community that you can you can Weasel us out of a coin someone wrote speaking as a previous H&A coin winner There's not many I want to issue an in full investigation Wow to the full extent of the law Wow because it is a bit more common for someone to set up and go I call for a partial investigation to 60% of the law But this is a% of both. Person another person, a person that wouldn't be upset
Starting point is 00:28:48 if the tree thing or went a little further than the full extent of the law. And sometimes it does. Sometimes it's got to break some rules to make some rules. Then a reply to that was, wouldn't be made if the song's worth got involved in more. Yeah, if he's worth it. Basically, you're asking for all our detective personas to engage in this operation. Now that would be a lynching. Yeah, if we just unleashed the truth eagle in the song slew and the inquisition um, emu and all the other animals we've got it out as possible. Yeah, and out of disposal. That would just be the mess. There is a process. And we received so many bits of feedback about this, we said, all right,
Starting point is 00:29:29 we've got to do something. For the first time ever, we're not saying this is up there with the coughing on who wants to be a millionaire, cheating scandal, but for the first time ever, we might have something that is approaching that level. Worth a probe. Worth a probe. Now we went, how do we do this again?
Starting point is 00:29:42 Back when we invented the Hay Mission Andy Cohen a couple of years ago, it was, initially it was my gift to you. And I, the analog coin to take the power back from the digital currencies. And when we minted the Haymish and Andy Cohen, not cheap, I wrote up a charter constitution. That's right. Now remember I spent all summer doing it?
Starting point is 00:30:03 Hundreds of hundreds of pages. Now remember writing in there, what's our dispute process? OK. And I found the chapter. I found the relevant chapter. It eases the course. OK, good. I'll hand it to you.
Starting point is 00:30:15 I'll just print it out one page, because obviously I'm not going to be the entire constitution. Yes. This is good. I mean, it's nice to have a refresher. I haven't booked back at it since. I appreciate you reading it at the time. But there's no way you could have,
Starting point is 00:30:25 I mean, thousands of chapters. H&A coin dispute procedure. In the event, the awarding of a coin is called into question by enough people. The Hamish Neri Central Bank will take the immediate step of freezing back coins, unique coin number, or you see it. It's in here.
Starting point is 00:30:40 Located on the back of the coin. That has happened. Wow. So at the moment, next coin has been frozen. Which he would have noticed. How do you go to use it today? Yes. There will then be a tribunal hearing.
Starting point is 00:30:53 Yeah. When members of the listening audience will have their chance to air their suspicions and the defendant a chance to answer. Oh, that's nice. That's fair. This is not a weird chunk. Millia chance to have all the facts on the table. The goal is to come to resolution that is agreeable by all parties, listeners, defendant
Starting point is 00:31:09 and Hamish and Andy. We've all got to be satisfied with the tribunal hearing. Yep. If clear to the charges, the UCN will be unfroze. That would be nice. Then we can all go about our business. Yep. However, if no resolution is come to, the tribunal hearing will then proceed to one of two options
Starting point is 00:31:27 If Hamish and he still believe that if and it's claims are innocent yet need more proof the next step is a formal grilling Which we are not at yet. I want to stress. We're not at a formal grilling there But that's in the event that we go well Nick. We still think you're innocent. Yeah, but the others But haven't we haven't done enough. We haven't come to an agreement. The listeners don't. And then we move to a formal grilling. Out of formal grilling, the defendant will be subjected to more firm but fair-promising
Starting point is 00:31:52 by Hamish and Andy, didn't the pursuit of truth. Yeah. If, however, Hamish and Andy doubt the defendant's innocence, but the defendant still proclaims it, we move to option two. Oh, which hunt? And that, this is where we have Nick going, I'm innocent, I'm innocent and you and I are beginning to suspect not. That's when we enact a witch hunt. Which I don't think we've done for hundreds of years. We haven't, but it's
Starting point is 00:32:16 in the constitution. Yes, in a witch hunt, the defendant is given scanned chance to defend themselves. And Hamish Nanny allowed free and total range to present any argument. You don't wanna be in a witch hunt. From a brief. Hamish just outlines what we all suspect. No matter how flimsy that results in the complete destruction of the defendants claims
Starting point is 00:32:36 of innocence. No one wants a witch hunt, but it is an option in the process. So we have, those are the processes. We've gotta follow them. We've got a formal complaint. We now move to the tribunal hearing, which is right back to the tribunal hearing, which is just a firm and fair presentation of the facts. Of course, we believe Nick's innocent. Nick, I'll hold you.
Starting point is 00:32:57 I'll hold you. Nick, you join us now. You've just heard these charges for the first time. How are you, Nick? Oh, boys, yeah, I'm well, yeah, I'm good. I mean obviously no one wants to hear that they've been dragged into a tribunal hearing. What's your initial gut reaction? Bitch shocked really. Didn't expect it. Thought the fellow podcastes would have my back, but obviously not. Sure. The doggy dog word out there sometimes. Look at your back with a knife. Yeah, we've got to have got your back in their sights. Well, hey, you obviously know the chat a bit of the night, but in this do we have always we we simply ask me come in just for the record.
Starting point is 00:33:36 How do you plead? I'd like to plead the fifth. Oh, okay. So so that's no comment rather than an innocent or a guilty. I should point out this today. It's not great. It won't be, it will not be received kindly by the listeners. I don't think you can plead the fifth or a guilty or a point.
Starting point is 00:33:56 I don't think you can play. Yeah, I don't think you can remain quiet on the actual plea. You can then plead the fifth after the plea. We will need sort of a binary situation with the the play a bit of a guilty or not guilty. Nick, do you want to play guilty or not guilty? I'll play not guilty. Fantastic. See what? I had, he's back.
Starting point is 00:34:15 I like not in my side. I'll play straight off the bat. Was it interesting? Head fake. Jack joins us, who's the first witness? Jack, you are a member of the Listening Public. You were one of the people that bought to our attention that you smell A or perhaps several rats in Mixed Skill. Jack, what would you like to say?
Starting point is 00:34:38 Boys last week, I was listening to the 100th episode and you know what they say in the podcast world. You only only get one 100th episode and you know what they say in the podcast world, you only only get one 100th episode and What about Nick just then pretending like he's one of us? He said he's thought the people would have his bath Nick you're not one of us Jim and Anna should remind you this is just a tribe you know hearing we are not at a formal grill again It's just hard like when you're trying to sleep at night or we and you just picture a nicks, nicks mug face when he gets off the phone. Jack, what do you think he's done? Well, if I was going to do it, I'd go through the episodes, I'd write down the name of the person, what their special skill was, what episode number was on. And the way you boys played the game was, there was a 10 to 15 second little like clip
Starting point is 00:35:25 So you play a little bit of it then there'd be like a little bit a little bit of chat And he had he had at least 25 seconds on everyone to scan. Yeah, that's the episode number and He should ample time now Jack. So you require administration skills not necessarily a special skill Yeah, this is data entry and fast searching. It's a skill. So do you certainly not a low level X, man? Jack, we didn't hear any typing on the keyboard. He wouldn't need a type.
Starting point is 00:35:53 He would have written it down beforehand. Be sure to. Just scanning. It's just on a piece of paper, you just write. You just literally write episode number, name the first. Read the first special skill. It's easy. Unilize that.
Starting point is 00:36:03 Thank you, Jack. Yeah. And he raised a good point there about the 100 episode. Yeah. That was our one shot. Yeah. Not only as good as your last 100th episode. Now, what happens here? Is Nick replied of that?
Starting point is 00:36:13 I think you see in the rule. Nick, I guess we ask you, is that what you did? I'd love to reply to that. I feel like it would be impractical to go through all those podcasts again and write them out. And plus, I didn't hear the segments when we were talking on the phone. That is true. We actually can't hear it. We put in the little snip bit.
Starting point is 00:36:35 No, we think it'll work. Sorry, I remember the day. It was a storm, there was an electrical storm. We put in the little grab of the previous episodes after the fact, so Nick did answer a lot quicker. Maybe that's why people are thinking he had a lot more time to cheat than he did. After Matt, Matt, Matt, Ahoy, are you?
Starting point is 00:36:58 Ahoy. Hi, Matt, Andy. Ahoy, Hamish and Ahoy, Jack. How are you? Very good, sir. Nick here, obviously, on trial. You didn't get to hear that, but the first member of the public
Starting point is 00:37:09 was saying you had plenty of time to be able to guess to look up some kind of sheet. Hamish night to come clean there and say, we inserted the little flashback grab of audio from the episode after the podcast. So Nick would have had far less time. But now you think he still could have cheated Matt. I still believe he could have cheated, yes.
Starting point is 00:37:30 Yeah. You might have believed your argument, because I was looking at your email here. You think he did use the processing power of a personal computer, powering Microsoft's famous Excel spreadsheet program. Excel is the way to go, baby. I feel Gates said on the launch day.
Starting point is 00:37:46 Yeah. Well, I will assert and look, hats off to the defendant. If he has found a loophole and got through, well done, I dip my lip to him. But if you control it and type in the first name or substitute, it will instantly take you to the row that you need. So with the playback, if you're saying the name and you just say it is a stem and you type in stem, it will instantly take you to that row. So you don't need a lot of time.
Starting point is 00:38:18 And there was a little bit of padding at the beginning as well. So did we name the person that had done the skill at the beginning as well. So did we name the, did we say the person that had done the skill at the start? Do we say the person, you gave the person's name, you gave the specific skill that they had and then there was a little bit of time where Nick would sort of pass it out. Matt, thank you. Nick, first question for me, do you have Microsoft Excel? I do have Microsoft Excel. Oh, that's a rough question. That's a circle of a stand-up trap.
Starting point is 00:38:52 Objection irrelevant. No, no, actually, overall, that is relevant. Oh, well, it's relevant. It's not a smoking gun, but did you do that, Nick? So what you're suggesting is that I went through every single podcast in the time that you rang me, the sales gonna be on the podcast and wrote them all down the whole 99 of them
Starting point is 00:39:15 and put whether they were successful or not. And they have started to come off. Are you answering a question with a question, Nick? So Nick, you're suggesting you're too lazy to do that. Yes. All right. I will say this, Nick, a lot of the time in the magic world, the solution to an illusion, like a trick is like, well, there's no way that could have happened because to, you know, let's say, to make a bus disappear, you'd have to have the biggest mirror in the world.
Starting point is 00:39:41 You know, you couldn't do it. And that is often the solution. They've just gone and done the thing that you would think that they would never do. Finally, James in this tribunal hearing, James, oh, how do you? Oh, I feel like, how you going? So James, sorry about the weight, mate. Welcome to court, James. You also, you know, suspicions would rife
Starting point is 00:40:02 on Nick's skill for you. What are you basing your suspicions when rife are on next skill for you. What are you basing your suspicions on? Well I actually um so at my job I can listen to podcasts a lot of songs so recently I've just been going back over the podcast so I'm up to date as it is. Nice to have you. Yeah so I've gone I've gone back and I was I think three. And I just sort of thought around Bible seats, I was like, no, well, a good way to get on the show would be, you know, better than coming with the steel that he had. And I got to about 13.
Starting point is 00:40:40 And I've been riding them down. So you had the idea. Right. So we're using a hacker here to catch a hacker. Yeah, that's right. That's right. We're going to think like a killer. The same way as Jodie Foster went and chatted to Anthony Hopkins in Sanso Lams. Think so.
Starting point is 00:40:59 James, so you think you're going to do this and you think you assert that Nick's beating you to it. Yeah, he's beating me to it and it was just like I was thinking about this morning and I'm up to 13 and I'm not sure that I can even do it with just the first 13, to be honest. Right in your head. Okay, so you weren't gonna cheat, you just wanted to try and do it. Oh no, I definitely going to cheat. Well we appreciate you having before the court today to say that and but you were going to cheat and are you saying you then realize it's hard to cheat. Yeah it's like too hard so like I think if you guys gave me the test right now even on the first 13 I probably couldn't even get it right. So you're actually you're a witness here for the defender. Sure. This is the sloppiest court proceeding of all time.
Starting point is 00:41:47 No, it's a try to be hearing. Well, that is a great twist in the tale. It is. Nick, you've got to be wrapped with that, that someone that's come to testify, kids, do you, has actually stood up and proclaimed your innocence? Yeah, no further questions for him. Okay, well, we've heard from the people. I think we've heard from Nick. I'm going to go out in the limb here and presume that to the listener listening to this
Starting point is 00:42:13 now, I don't think they would rate Nick as completely unslippery. Do we get him out of the lie detector? Interesting. I don't think we've solved this because Nick's kept his innocence there I I don't think we've got enough to convict him. I do think we progress to the next level now Is that is that formal grilling or do we think I think my vote would be we progress Nick to a formal grilling From here and and a lie detector could very well be part of that because it says in the constitution Andy We will be he will will subject into more firm, but fair probing. Now I, I would interpret
Starting point is 00:42:48 that as using any means necessary. Nick, a question, will you be prepared to take a lot of tech to? Yeah. So I would be. Oh, that's fantastic. Okay. Because I think, I think, yeah, I just think, you know, pleading the fifth to start with was answering the question with the question. Yeah. Um. A lot of his defenses were, you're telling me I went to all this effort to GP out of a coin, as if I could be bothered, which could be throwing us off.
Starting point is 00:43:10 I think from that kind of presentation, we can't completely acquit it. I think there'll be some people going, you've got a lot covering of soap on you. You're a little bit slippery. Not the slipperyest guy in the world, but you was a little bit slippery. Nick, Clea, Calender for next week,
Starting point is 00:43:23 we're gonna take this up again with you. Sounds good. We are progressing to formal grilling. I hope to God, it doesn't end in a witch hunt. little bit slippery. Listen up.

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