Hamish & Andy - Hamish & Andy 2020 Ep 101
Episode Date: July 22, 20201. Bitcoin scammer 2. Flippy square 3. Golf club special skill 4. H&A tribunal ...
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1 One! In the red corner, ohhoi to Hamish!
Let's get rid of Lutcus!
How are you mate, ohhoi?
Ohhoi, in the blue corner, I'm, because I'm wearing blue.
And in a unlucky college.
Yeah, I'm stuck here.
We haven't got to change these tracksuits.
We change about five times at the start.
And then when I got the worst colour, we never changed again.
Ohhoi to you, Jacko.
In the sick, I've already vomited colored voluwa.
It is a Jackpost.
Also, I don't think we were, Jack.
Look, we'll bring it up in another date, Jacko.
But it's, it's, it's, it made me think,
it could freshen up the show.
Yeah, it's a show is getting stale.
You think it could have said we did it at Gusto?
Well, I wondered whether it was the,
the lack of Gusto was because of the color of Jacko. But that Gusto has been rocking it since then. You our gusto. Well, I wondered whether the lack of gusto
was because of the color of the deck.
But our gusto has been rocking.
You were not in five, of course.
No, my gusto has been, I've had gusto and gumption.
Gumption.
Right.
Gumption isn't gumption like quite...
Bolognous.
Yeah, right.
Bolognous.
Yep.
What have you done this year, it's ballsing.
Why you said, yeah, it was the less gumption. It's Paul's. Wait, you said yeah, it was the less gum.
Like a gum, too.
Much like a like a gusto, which we have covered Jack.
All right, you can see he been working on it.
It's certainly not up to where we would like it to be, but...
I just worried the show's getting a bit dull.
Yeah, the end of the day.
So maybe some vibrant dressing, Ben.
I'm haint a hoi to Michaela in Salt Lake City.
Oh, hey, Mission, mission Andy and Jack as well.
This is Michaela from Salt Lake City, Utah.
I'm just wanting to see if this is really as hard as everybody keeps saying it is to download the audio recording.
And I wanted to reach out and say that I love your guys' podcast and listening to it on my commute to work.
Today I plan on going mountain biking and learning how to do a wheelie.
Hamish encouraged me to do that with his learning as well. So good luck Hamish and happy birthday Andy.
I was able to upload that one because we're since called off the wheelie haven't we?
That's where you would have found out what my secret's towards.
But maybe she's referencing that she's heard the call off.
Yeah, which was only about a month ago.
So we know she's been out of do it in under the month.
Usually it takes people about a month.
I like the guy who said,
is this as hard as everyone says it is?
So she's obviously got mates that have tried and have failed.
And uploading the like in her mountain biking club.
It's still working fine.
Jack Oat.
I mean, I had down here, you know,
it's now episode 101, we wanted to get an idea
where the Bitcoin is at.
A lot of people write in about it going,
is Jack even trying to fall?
Well, you might be getting this as well,
but as soon as there's any article that says,
overseas travel looks like it'll be opened up soon.
People send this to me and go watch out for Andy
because as soon as overseas travel is open.
To be asked, because on its way.
You owe him a big favor.
Oh, I'm going to use the Bitcoin by then.
Because Greece has opened up for holidays from Australia,
but the Australian government hasn't said.
You've got to get there.
You can go.
So we're getting close.
I only have a small window now to find your Bitcoin and my Bitcoin, which share a password
together that I can't find.
So I was lucky enough to get an Instagram message from a guy called Brad who offered to help
me find the Bitcoin.
That's good.
Do you have the username or like,
am I right in saying you need a wallet, number,
and then a password?
Yeah, so I had to, without getting too technical,
I had to reset my wallet and then use a 24-word seed
that is a long, just a long password of 24 words
to try to reinvigorate that wallet.
And it was like,
I'm reinvigorating it.
So it's essentially turning it off and on.
Yes.
But what it does with the 24 word password, it is something, you don't set those 24 words.
No.
So you get given them.
Yeah.
So that's why it's harder to remember them.
You definitely have to write it down.
It generates the 24 words for you. Essentially essentially, that's uncrackable.
I wrote them down. I thought I had them. Then when I went to reactivate it, the 24 words I had
didn't work and I couldn't reactivate it. Right. So I either have another password lost somewhere
or I've written down this password role. Right. And then normal words, it's just like normal English
words. Yeah, like genre. it's just not normal English words. Yeah, like genre, aloof.
Right, these words, you're spelling this.
I think I'm a J-E-N.
So that's essentially where Brad comes in.
He message me on Instagram and said,
Hey, I can get your big coin back.
I'll just need a copy of the wallet file
and your recovery phrase, which is that 24 word phrase.
Right.
So I said, Brad, how can I trust you?
And then he went through this really,
what I've seen, I deem as a very trustworthy list of things
to say this is why you can trust me.
He said he works for one of the major banks.
I won't name what the bank is.
He said it.
He said, I work for one of the major banks, you can ring them and just ask him. And ask him if he's a Brad there.
I said, essentially, that's what he said. He said, you can ask them, my name, and they'll tell you
and verify who I am. So I didn't do that by so much. Well, if he's, I'm not going to call his bluff
on that, but did he leave a number? Yep. He left, he left a number, and he said, he's full name,
any even said an employee number.
So I thought, all right, well, that checks out. Yeah, but not really. I didn't actually make the
step to go and verify, but I thought he wouldn't throw that out unless I unless he was yeah, the only
reason he throw that out of the few was sometimes gamma. The other thing he said is then if at any point
your coins leave your address, if you see that your bitcoins have gone,
then you know that it's me and then you can charge me.
So again, I don't really know how to do that.
Like check if Bitcoin have left my address.
Good, that's good.
He's good, good.
He's giving you a lot of what seemed like levers.
But might actually just be chopsticks
and polystyrene on the end that he painted it made himself
See you a lot of stuff that you reckon is like you can get him with so you wrote back So I wrote actually even I said well this is this is sounding all above board
So here's my number you can make it cool and we can chat more about it and then on the phone
He he was even more convinced and did he and did he call for a private number?
No, he even gave me his mobile number which I have okay, okay, so I thought this is all above board
And then I'm seeing his Instagram. I can see his picture. He's going out for dinner and stuff
So he's real he's going up a more dinner since he gave him all your info
So how long ago did you give him this so this was two months ago?
And you have have you been back in touch with him?
Okay, this is what he said.
He knows a lot about computers.
Yeah.
He said, I'm not, he's like, you're 75 on a car and a fair.
Explaining that you've got dittled.
He said, he knows he can build a program
that will take those 24 words
and check for any spelling mistakes
or words that are spelled close to that.
630.com.
And it will essentially, what did he call it?
It's like trying to run all the combinations.
It'll run all the combinations, trying to figure out if he can get into this Bitcoin.
Okay.
Okay.
He said it could take three weeks because the program, he just leaves it on overnight.
Okay. So I left the first month, I just let him go and thought, okay, great. He said it could take three weeks because the program he just leaves it on overnight.
Okay. So I left the first month, I just let him go and thought, okay, great, Brad's running the program.
He should be back in contact soon.
In the corner of his bedroom, just running HelpjackOut.exe.
Then Andy will get his big coin back. I'll get mine back.
We might even give him a small reward for doing all.
That's more parade.
So that first month went by and I started to think,
okay, well, I haven't really heard from Brad yet.
I better go check on him.
So I call his mobile number a couple of times
and he doesn't pick up.
I send him a text saying, hey, Brad,
just trying to reach out.
Let me know if you're a rant.
Probably busy coding or reading the printout.
It's the guy you're currently scaring.
Brad, when you're formulated a good excuse, please give me the call.
Let me film you in a bit.
We'll see you go with my own identity.
But if you're using it today, let me know.
Maybe we could do Monday, Wednesday, Friday, on May,
Tuesday, Thursday, you'll meet.
So we got his number. So he hasn't come back yet.
So he got his number.
And then the other place I tried him was on Instagram,
a messaging that was the original place he came to me.
And then I realized since I started talking to him,
he doesn't use Instagram anymore.
He's got no new photos up.
How many posts had he done?
He'd only done two photos of himself. The rest were all like
pets and his dog is like... And he's like... Getty.
Who will have an axel? There's only two photos of the guys meant to be Brad.
And then he's not doing anything on Instagram. He's not answering his phone.
We can try and call it from here because I would... Let call it But there's no way but it's a burner phone
I mean what are you saying could be true that he has a program here?
Yeah, but the incentive to give you back your money is zero. No exactly and then this is the other thing that made me believe him
He said he'd already made heaps of money off Bitcoin
This is the other thing that made me believe him. He said he'd already made heaps of money off Bitcoin.
I needed to buy this stuff.
Like an Algerian prince that doesn't need any money.
I thought, oh, he's not gonna want to steal it.
Oh, of course.
He's own or other.
That's why the prince just needs my bank account.
Yeah, and he's willing, because it's $100 million,
he wouldn't otherwise get.
That's why he's giving me half.
Mum and Dad, you don't understand read the email okay Brad I mean I've tried this number a hundred times
did it go to messy paints a desperate picture
unbelievable he's see it's probably dangling
He's probably dangling. What does he mean, you are calling me?
He's a scammer.
He's a thief.
It's probably dangling of the master, he's yacht.
And he's in the Caribbean drinking champagne,
laughing every time he rings.
Do you have a surname, Jack?
Well, I've got the surname that he gave me.
Yeah.
OK.
Let's try, say it out loud. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no Yeah, I felt like Jack. Sorry, Jack. I think. MUSIC MUSIC MUSIC
MUSIC
MUSIC
MUSIC
Ando.
And, Jackie Boy, it's been a little while since the Cup of Ball, the Sphere.
Not that long enough.
Change our lives.
Not long enough.
Much like...
I suppose there are two big moments in the Earth's history when a round object calls such a stir.
Yep. The wheel.
Asteroid.
Oh, that's perfect.
Bigger than the wheel.
The asteroid that wiped out the dinosaurs.
Then the wheel.
Let's go through it.
Because the invention of the wheel was huge.
Oh, I think we were going to figure the wheel out anyway.
But the sphere.
The compass.
The sphere.
That's a life changer.
Yes.
So my life has been reached.
It's been a smear on this show.
Not a smear sphere.
I think we've enjoyed so much the abundance of the spheres.
And it has changed our lives and we all feel better for it.
Now, putting that to one side for a moment,
I would have thought that Instagram,
because that's where this all started,
these targeted ads hitting me up,
you've got to get this fear.
More than meets the eye, very true.
We discover a lot of different uses for it.
Yeah.
I would have thought that once they detected I purchased two,
they'd go, okay, this guy's had enough.
We've got him.
Yeah.
No, just let him be.
He's got it out of his system now.
He's bought some stuff.
But in fact, they've been targeting me quite a bit.
More, more.
I was I thought they've gone, I've got him,
let's move on to someone else.
Yeah, that's what I would have thought.
To share the ads around.
Yeah.
Because I don't want to be an ad hog.
The last thing in the world I want to be
is eating up all the ads if someone else wants to see them.
Is it possible that they know that you're a weak,
I don't know, a weakling.
A mark.
When it comes to one line,
the brain is a circling.
So one line puts it.
But I, I, for the good of my family and stuff, you
know, because you can't drain that, you can't, and the good of the joint bank account.
Can't drain that thing, you know, I'll just unfrivolous purchases.
I myself have raised the bar and gun right from now on.
Yes.
They don't know the LED hat.
They don't know that.
They don't know how hard my guard's up.
Yeah.
So I say that by bringing to the table, something has caught my eyes.
I just say, I just want you to know it.
Obviously, it has to be good for it to catch my eye as good as the coppers fear.
Dare I say better?
Because...
What's the name?
No.
Obviously, Instagram knows this guy likes metal-shaped things.
Yeah, right.
There's a new thing going around now that's been...
Has been winking at me a bit online.
Would it be in the same room as your coppersphere?
Is sphere or would you put it in a different room?
No, same room.
And you'd be come to be known as that kind of guy
that has industrial grade high-finish metal objects on his desk.
What a great thing to be known as.
The sphere, I think we all agree.
One of its main properties was the weight,
deceptively heavy, full size.
Oh yeah, my TV.
And all the other stuff that it did,
but we enjoyed all the stuff it did.
This is a square, a very, very not copper,
I believe it's aluminium, high-grade aircraft quality steel.
Okay.
Highly polished, with some matte pieces on it.
It feels like polish is one of the
the main things that I've made attributes to any of these items because you can't do anything else with it.
Well, that's a bit unfair. Okay. But what is what is it? It's what's it advertised as? It's a square.
It's very satisfying square. A satisfying square. A satisfying, very satisfying desk square
that can flip end to end.
And it's obviously got a sort of a flat.
Any square can flip it.
No, not this one though, when you see the shape.
Not like this one.
I can't look this way.
Jack, I'm going to hand it over to you.
You just have a look at that.
I'm just read out some of the things
on the ad there, precision machines.
It looks like.
Well, it's a flippy square.
It's a square that flips end to end.
And you can flip it from one hand to the other.
Yeah.
Okay.
Create competition is one of the things.
You can have two of them that flip against each other.
You can see the object decree on the top.
It fits in any pocket.
Yep, it sees very small.
It's not true.
Play playful.
Yep.
That's also not true, that it...
Mesmerizing.
All right, so it's like they're using it
as a spinning top sometimes,
and then, yes, obviously, we heard that. It's a flinch. No, no, a good question. And you know, it's completely they're using it as a spinning top sometimes and then yes, obviously We heard that the flip it. No, no a good question
And you know it's completely safe for kids. It's a beveled edge a beveled and it can so it put it on
And do you see the leather sleeve? I did yeah, it's got a son of a leather sleeve right
It's like he's using it really as a tech deck. Do you remember tech decks? No, that's cool
You can really you can master your own tricks And it flips sort of end to end.
I am.
Oh my gosh, no.
Very interesting.
So it's more in the fidget spinner realm.
Yeah, it seems like a fidget spinner.
Well, it's up to you how you want to use it.
I mean, that's the beauty of it.
Here was the sphere is, it's a personal piece of the sphere.
I believe this is more.
What's it called?
I've just never made a flippy square, the flippant square.
And it can flip end on end too.
That's the bit of it, because it's a square,
every edge is also an end.
So you've got a good value for money there in a sense
that you've got four tops, four bottoms, four sides.
I don't want to be needing to do it with this one.
I'm interested.
I knew there could
be a bit of disagreement. So I was just trying to see if it actually has a name. The inventors
haven't even thought of a name. That's how quickly they've rushed this thing out.
I've seen a little bit of Colony. Colony, Colony B here. And that's why I thought maybe
we could settle our differences over a rap. Oh, here we go. Here's a B. Uh oh.
Hey, my boys. Now we got the cup of spear. You think I might be satisfied for a whole year,
but while I love that spear like Lice loves hair, I think I have to get a flipping metal square
Hey hey, it's me, you conscience, Andy Lee, that square is literally a thing no one needs
I'm trying to put it simply and I'm trying not to swear, you didn't need the ball and you don't need the square
Well if it isn't the old buddy, paper andy Lee, don't just come and blow, Ziggy smoked gone me
I didn't
It's gonna be so cool, and you won't believe,
how fresh I look, when I crack that leather sleeve.
Somehow you found a thing worse than the ball,
it's something that does less than anything at all.
It flips, and it flops, and it stands on its top,
and the list of things it can do, won't stop.
But the list has stops, that's all it can do,
and you can't really count, flip and flop as two.
Hey, man, maybe you're getting sick of golf
Maybe the square could feel that big-life golf
I won't mention you rhymed golf with golf
And by the way, I'm not getting sick of golf
Well now who's rhymed golf with golf?
If this was golf, you would have lost it golf
Well I won't lose the game of laughing at you
Cause if you buy that square, that's all I'm gonna do
Yeah, well I'm gonna must and you move in tricks so you can eat a bag of superior guys guys
It's just a small metal square let's not ruin what we have that's rare
I know, Hame Spendee but he's not that dumb
I think his whole thing's just been a bit of fun
I bought four I bought fourth squares
I knew it, no
What a waste to make one mega square.
Why four?
By three, get one free.
And by two.
Is that true?
Yes.
No, I think you make, you know,
maybe it requires a lot of deals on the website.
I'm not saying they're not popular.
They are, they're selling like hotcakes, don't they?
But at the same, no, at the same time,
the company's also very generous as a thank you
for the demand that they're experiencing.
and that they're experiencing. and Jack and I as non-Golfers deemed it to still be interesting. It's a golf-related special skill. You, alleged, you can identify the type of club impacting a ball
during a golf shot without seeing the club, just off the audio.
Just off the audio just by hearing it.
Now, you've come hot enough a golf course.
You are wearing a title-less hat.
Is that a sponsor thing or just a hat you like?
No, possibly a sponsor in the future.
Yeah, well, you run a daily school.
Any deal with title list or is this conflicting with a current deal?
I quite like title list.
Under the rich get richer.
No, my players were on title list. Jared Lyle, a friend of ours rich get richer. No, you've come on my favourite players were on titles.
Jared Lyle, a friend of ours, titleist.
Yes, okay, I'll give you that one.
I haven't bet do you have any requirements to say you like?
No, I don't have any requirements to say, I like any.
Not at the moment.
Okay, good, good.
Anyway, well, if you can do this, we've got no doubt that you'll go on to be a commentator.
I mean, the skill has so many commercial applications.
Exactly.
Particularly because it's very difficult to, because in crowds, golf games, it's very
difficult to see what I'm there using their clubs.
Right.
So you could tell by hearing it, they wouldn't have to send someone out there.
It's so confusion.
Yeah, exactly.
They're a confusion, so we feel like, if you're successful, broadcasting golf in the future
might sound a bit like this.
Tiger Woods here with his approach on 16.
I think he's about 165 yards out.
I can't quite see what club he's taking.
I know, are he's all have a listen?
That's a night iron.
Well done, William you, extraordinary stir.
I played you in the fantasy here.
That was great.
That's a nomma.
And that is what you've got in your future.
If you can nail this.
I can't wait.
Pressure's on.
Great question.
I know this is a visual one.
I know I've mentioned your hat.
Can I quickly mention your necklaces?
Do you have a wooden elephant?
Is it a good luck charm?
Um, sure.
I've just had it for a while. Have a wooden elephant? Is it a good luck charm? Sure.
I've just had it for a while. They're more to it than that, or is it?
I love elephants.
Yeah, they're nice.
And they're good.
Well, we were about to find out
whether it's a good luck charm.
But I was just sort of,
it was just being displayed prominently.
I like it a lot.
But I thought maybe this is,
you pulling out all the stops here
to try and give you a bit of good luck in the town.
So this goes barely, I might be throwing it out.
So we hope not.
William, there's gonna be five shots.
Five shots.
Did we do the trick one?
No, a whole.
And Annie recorded these at home.
He is, he may be aware, is like enough to have a facility
where he can record.
Must be very nice.
It must be very nice, Will.
Not a thing that you and I have to meet with, but he can record. Must be very nice. Must be very nice, Will. Not a thing
that you and I have to meet with, but he can record a full fledgolf shot with ball inside.
How? Luckily, he has the simulator. So you will hear the, I think you hear the thump
of the ball hitting the screen, don't you? Yes, but it won't affect the sound of impact.
You just hear it after. And you're hitting off fat grass? Yep.
And you may hear the scurrying footsteps
of a Butler picking up over.
Just, and the quite polishing of the ball
as it gets returned to Andy.
But that is just for the highly trained ear.
Okay.
I reckon if you get three out of five, it's a coin.
Okay.
Okay.
Because for people who don't know,
there are 12 clubs to choose from you.
Yeah. Okay. And are we, are you working off there are 12 clubs to choose from you. Yeah.
Okay.
And are we, are you working off the tee with a pada?
Or is that it?
Sorry, that was the trick one I was gonna say.
Oh, yeah.
No pada.
No pada.
No pada.
Okay.
First shot.
You ready to get in?
I'd love to.
It's very slicey.
Oh, it hurts. Actually actually went down the middle. It's easy.
I think it might be an eight.
Oh.
Seven.
Oh, bad though.
I remember if you've just chained in there at 12 clubs this year's from, the mastermist
hit it.
I don't like it like a high end.
Just cruise ship, 12 clubs that you're from,
you'll never be bought.
Just so you know, recorded a lot of bad shots.
Okay, but the ones that were clean,
I didn't want him to go, oh, hang on,
that wasn't hit cleaning.
Oh yeah, I hit it with the end of the hand.
Okay, the next shot, Jack.
Oh, I think I'm gonna go that as an eight.
Do you want me to give him one more time?
Yeah, I'd love to.
Oh, no, it's hit a bit more firmly.
I'm gonna go drop down to a six, actually.
Four.
But he was going in the right direction.
All right, a couple of range finers here.
Okay. You need to get three from three here.
And what I think is a very different game
because I've been listening back to these
and they should have laid the same game.
They should have labelled correctly
because I can't hear the difference.
William, what's this club?
And again.
Oh, that's, um, it's further down again. I think.
I'm going to go.
Are you listening for pitch here?
Like the higher pitch is a higher number.
And more of like a lighter sound is like, you know,
the eights and nines and so on.
I think that was a bit more of a thumb.
So I'm going to go to I think that was a bit more of a cutthumb.
So I'm going to go to iron.
So three wood.
So you've gone away from an iron face into a more...
Okay, a mahogany.
Yeah, that's my honking.
To have a lump of mahogany that you treat with such disrogaard.
Yes, must be quite nice.
No, I think they're more titanium or I don't know what the what are the phases are.
Oh, you can get anything that's not carbon fiber.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
All right.
Well, it's straight zero from three.
We're going to persist.
Let's persist.
Let's do it.
Here we go.
That's a very sloppy one.
Oh, I think we're still in the woods, kind of, gree. Maybe a hybrid.
Are you giving it to me or is that a... No, don't do it.
I don't think that was a wood at all.
I think that's more of like your pitching wedge.
He's got it.
He's got it.
So he's not the Simpson's guy.
We're just very good news to you.
What a little bit subpar.
Let's give the last one in just to see.
I get that one again, please.
I think that was the hybrid. That's a six-time.
Oh, yep.
You're not very good at William.
It's pretty bloody hard.
It's bloody hard, isn't it?
How has it occurred?
How has it manifested in real life where you've guessed it correctly?
You just sort of heard something behind you because you said you were at a golf course.
Yeah. So I've heard a lot of golf balls
been hitting my time.
And so you just sort of spin around and go,
oh mate, four on?
And they go, geez, I do that.
I haven't ever done that until the other day
when I was like, oh, I may as well test it out.
And I asked two golfers and I said,
oh, like I took a guess in my head and I said,
oh, what cup was that?
And they said something completely different
to what I was doing. And that said something completely different. What I was thinking.
And that was after I'd been called in.
So, which wouldn't have been a confidence
being a third of it, a third of it, a better in the world.
And that's when you went to the,
I'm going to need to take the elephant in.
Yeah, elephant didn't work at the end.
But you made the right call.
Yeah.
A token of no value, come of your way.
Thanks for coming.
Oh, so thanks guys, thanks for having me. And it's with a heavy, but necessary heart.
We bring up the next item of business.
This is not fun.
Well, it's not fun. It's the first time this has happened on the show.
And one of the show, my interest is fun.
Yeah, and gusto.
I think we can still maintain our gusto.
Yeah, but it's sort of a serious gusto.
Yes.
Sort of like a high energy frowning.
Yes, we assume what we need to talk about.
Start at getting throughout the week, email started pinging both sides of the fence.
DM started pinging in after episode 100, which was meant to be a celebration.
Yeah. There's a subreddit floating around out there that people were sending
a screenshots of the thread of. There was an issue with last week's special
skills test. A man called Nick, he funded up and we loved it for episode 100
because it was very meta. It was a special skill about special skills.
Yeah. Could name the episode any special skill had landed in and we thought,
wow, what a great way to celebrate the century with a fan of the show.
And it's someone with an encyclopedia knowledge, certainly even better than ours.
But a few people.
Yeah, we must say we haven't had an issue with it.
I haven't got an issue with this.
We're merely reporting the facts.
Exactly.
But people did take umbrage to it.
We started, we started seeing a lot of people independently going, hey, don't you reckon
that this Nick fellow could have been perhaps not,
because we asked him, you know, you're not cheating
and he said, no, I'm not cheating.
And that's usually, that's we're happy with that.
And but a few people said, start raising the question
of perhaps imagining how they would do it
and going, there could be a loophole here.
Can I read you a subreddit here, Ham?
Never been on it, but it's fascinating.
So the special, the heading, the title of it,
it's a special skills guy on app 100 was absolutely cheating.
Wow.
And this is where everyone would jump in.
Unproven that, that's a slander.
That is slander. That's a slander.
Allegedly. That's a legit hit.
Someone's written, he missed the fourth on purpose,
because you knew he's always gonna get a coin.
I want Hamish's truth eagle to fly
and then shoot lasers of justice out of its eyes.
That's all right, it's jumping at the bit.
It's the truth, they're gonna last me this morning
to take its hood off and I said, wait, there's a process.
Another one wrote, we need Hamish
to launch a royal commission
into the special skill cheating.
Has it happened before?
Will it happen again?
So this is how real it is.
So they're gonna sort of go,
you don't stamp this out
and you send a clear message to the community that you can you can
Weasel us out of a coin someone wrote speaking as a previous H&A coin winner
There's not many I want to issue an in full investigation
Wow to the full extent of the law
Wow because it is a bit more common for someone to set up and go I call for a partial investigation to 60% of the law
But this is a% of both. Person another person, a person that wouldn't be upset
if the tree thing or went a little further than the full extent of the law. And sometimes
it does. Sometimes it's got to break some rules to make some rules. Then a reply to that
was, wouldn't be made if the song's worth got involved in more. Yeah, if he's worth
it. Basically, you're asking for all our detective personas to engage in this operation. Now that would
be a lynching. Yeah, if we just unleashed the truth eagle in the song slew and the inquisition
um, emu and all the other animals we've got it out as possible. Yeah, and out of disposal.
That would just be the mess. There is a process. And we received so many bits of feedback
about this, we said, all right,
we've got to do something.
For the first time ever, we're not saying this is up there
with the coughing on who wants to be a millionaire,
cheating scandal, but for the first time ever,
we might have something that is approaching that level.
Worth a probe.
Worth a probe.
Now we went, how do we do this again?
Back when we invented the Hay Mission Andy Cohen
a couple of years ago, it was, initially it was my gift to you.
And I, the analog coin to take the power back
from the digital currencies.
And when we minted the Haymish and Andy Cohen,
not cheap, I wrote up a charter constitution.
That's right.
Now remember I spent all summer doing it?
Hundreds of hundreds of pages.
Now remember writing in there, what's our dispute process?
OK.
And I found the chapter.
I found the relevant chapter.
It eases the course.
OK, good.
I'll hand it to you.
I'll just print it out one page, because obviously I'm not
going to be the entire constitution.
Yes.
This is good.
I mean, it's nice to have a refresher.
I haven't booked back at it since.
I appreciate you reading it at the time.
But there's no way you could have,
I mean, thousands of chapters.
H&A coin dispute procedure.
In the event, the awarding of a coin
is called into question by enough people.
The Hamish Neri Central Bank will take the immediate step
of freezing back coins, unique coin number,
or you see it.
It's in here.
Located on the back of the coin.
That has happened.
Wow.
So at the moment, next coin has been frozen.
Which he would have noticed.
How do you go to use it today?
Yes.
There will then be a tribunal hearing.
Yeah.
When members of the listening audience will have their chance
to air their suspicions and the defendant a chance to answer.
Oh, that's nice.
That's fair.
This is not a weird chunk.
Millia chance to have all the facts on the table.
The goal is to come to resolution that is agreeable by all parties, listeners, defendant
and Hamish and Andy.
We've all got to be satisfied with the tribunal hearing.
Yep.
If clear to the charges, the UCN will be unfroze.
That would be nice.
Then we can all go about our business.
Yep.
However, if no resolution is come to, the tribunal hearing will then proceed to one of two options
If Hamish and he still believe that if and it's claims are innocent yet need more proof the next step is a formal grilling
Which we are not at yet. I want to stress. We're not at a formal grilling there
But that's in the event that we go well Nick. We still think you're innocent. Yeah, but the others
But haven't we haven't done enough.
We haven't come to an agreement.
The listeners don't.
And then we move to a formal grilling.
Out of formal grilling, the defendant will be subjected to more firm but fair-promising
by Hamish and Andy, didn't the pursuit of truth.
Yeah.
If, however, Hamish and Andy doubt the defendant's innocence, but the defendant still proclaims
it, we move to option two.
Oh, which hunt?
And that, this is where we have Nick going,
I'm innocent, I'm innocent and you and I are beginning to suspect not. That's when we enact
a witch hunt. Which I don't think we've done for hundreds of years. We haven't, but it's
in the constitution. Yes, in a witch hunt, the defendant is given
scanned chance to defend themselves. And Hamish Nanny allowed free and total range
to present any argument.
You don't wanna be in a witch hunt.
From a brief.
Hamish just outlines what we all suspect.
No matter how flimsy that results
in the complete destruction of the defendants claims
of innocence.
No one wants a witch hunt,
but it is an option in the process.
So we have, those are the processes.
We've gotta follow them.
We've got a formal complaint. We now move to the tribunal hearing,
which is right back to the tribunal hearing, which is just a firm and fair presentation
of the facts. Of course, we believe Nick's innocent. Nick, I'll hold you.
I'll hold you. Nick, you join us now. You've just heard these charges for the first time.
How are you, Nick? Oh, boys, yeah, I'm well, yeah, I'm good. I mean obviously
no one wants to hear that they've been dragged into a tribunal hearing. What's your initial gut reaction?
Bitch shocked really. Didn't expect it. Thought the fellow podcastes would have my back,
but obviously not. Sure. The doggy dog word out there sometimes. Look at your back with a knife.
Yeah, we've got to have got your back in their sights.
Well, hey, you obviously know the chat a bit of the night, but in this do we have
always we we simply ask me come in just for the record.
How do you plead?
I'd like to plead the fifth.
Oh, okay.
So so that's no comment rather than an innocent or a guilty.
I should point out this today.
It's not great.
It won't be, it will not be received kindly by the listeners.
I don't think you can plead the fifth or a guilty or a point.
I don't think you can play.
Yeah, I don't think you can remain quiet on the actual plea.
You can then plead the fifth after the plea.
We will need sort of a binary situation with the the play a bit of a guilty or not guilty.
Nick, do you want to play guilty or not guilty?
I'll play not guilty.
Fantastic.
See what? I had, he's back.
I like not in my side.
I'll play straight off the bat.
Was it interesting?
Head fake.
Jack joins us, who's the first witness?
Jack, you are a member of the Listening Public.
You were one of the people that bought to our attention that you smell
A or perhaps several rats in Mixed Skill. Jack, what would you like to say?
Boys last week, I was listening to the 100th episode and you know what they say in the podcast world.
You only only get one 100th episode and you know what they say in the podcast world, you only only get one 100th episode and
What about Nick just then pretending like he's one of us? He said he's thought the people would have his bath Nick you're not one of us
Jim and Anna should remind you this is just a tribe you know hearing we are not at a formal grill again
It's just hard like when you're trying to sleep at night or we and you just picture a nicks, nicks mug face when he gets off the phone.
Jack, what do you think he's done?
Well, if I was going to do it, I'd go through the episodes, I'd write down the name of the person, what their special skill was, what episode number was on.
And the way you boys played the game was, there was a 10 to 15 second little like clip
So you play a little bit of it then there'd be like a little bit a little bit of chat
And he had he had at least 25 seconds on everyone to scan. Yeah, that's the episode number and
He should ample time now Jack. So you require administration skills not necessarily a special skill
Yeah, this is data entry and fast searching.
It's a skill.
So do you certainly not a low level X, man?
Jack, we didn't hear any typing on the keyboard.
He wouldn't need a type.
He would have written it down beforehand.
Be sure to.
Just scanning.
It's just on a piece of paper, you just write.
You just literally write episode number, name the first.
Read the first special skill.
It's easy.
Unilize that.
Thank you, Jack.
Yeah. And he raised a good point there about the 100 episode.
Yeah.
That was our one shot.
Yeah.
Not only as good as your last 100th episode.
Now, what happens here?
Is Nick replied of that?
I think you see in the rule.
Nick, I guess we ask you, is that what you did?
I'd love to reply to that.
I feel like it would be impractical to go through all those podcasts again and write them
out. And plus, I didn't hear the segments when we were talking on the phone.
That is true.
We actually can't hear it.
We put in the little snip bit.
No, we think it'll work.
Sorry, I remember the day.
It was a storm, there was an electrical storm.
We put in the little grab of the previous episodes
after the fact, so Nick did answer a lot quicker.
Maybe that's why people are thinking
he had a lot more time to cheat than he did.
After Matt, Matt, Matt, Ahoy, are you?
Ahoy.
Hi, Matt, Andy.
Ahoy, Hamish and Ahoy, Jack.
How are you?
Very good, sir.
Nick here, obviously, on trial.
You didn't get to hear that,
but the first member of the public
was saying you had plenty of time to be able to guess
to look up some kind of sheet.
Hamish night to come clean there and say,
we inserted the little flashback grab of audio
from the episode after the podcast.
So Nick would have had far less time.
But now you think he still could have cheated Matt.
I still believe he could have cheated, yes.
Yeah.
You might have believed your argument,
because I was looking at your email here.
You think he did use the processing power
of a personal computer,
powering Microsoft's famous Excel spreadsheet program.
Excel is the way to go, baby.
I feel Gates said on the launch day.
Yeah.
Well, I will assert and look, hats off to the defendant.
If he has found a loophole and got through, well done,
I dip my lip to him.
But if you control it and type in the first name or substitute,
it will instantly take you to the row that you need.
So with the playback, if you're saying the name and you just say it is a stem and you type in stem,
it will instantly take you to that row. So you don't need a lot of time.
And there was a little bit of padding at the beginning as well.
So did we name the person that had done the skill at the beginning as well. So did we name the, did we say the person that
had done the skill at the start? Do we say the person, you gave the person's name, you gave
the specific skill that they had and then there was a little bit of time where Nick would sort
of pass it out. Matt, thank you. Nick, first question for me, do you have Microsoft Excel?
I do have Microsoft Excel.
Oh, that's a rough question.
That's a circle of a stand-up trap.
Objection irrelevant.
No, no, actually, overall, that is relevant.
Oh, well, it's relevant.
It's not a smoking gun, but did you do that, Nick?
So what you're suggesting is that I went through
every single podcast in the time that you rang me,
the sales gonna be on the podcast
and wrote them all down the whole 99 of them
and put whether they were successful or not.
And they have started to come off.
Are you answering a question with a question, Nick?
So Nick, you're suggesting you're too lazy to do that.
Yes.
All right. I will say this, Nick, a lot of the time in the magic world, the solution to an
illusion, like a trick is like, well, there's no way that could have happened because to,
you know, let's say, to make a bus disappear, you'd have to have the biggest mirror in the world.
You know, you couldn't do it. And that is often the solution. They've just gone and done the thing
that you would think that they would never do.
Finally, James in this tribunal hearing,
James, oh, how do you?
Oh, I feel like, how you going?
So James, sorry about the weight, mate.
Welcome to court, James.
You also, you know, suspicions would rife
on Nick's skill for you.
What are you basing your suspicions when rife are on next skill for you. What are you basing your suspicions on?
Well I actually um so at my job I can listen to podcasts a lot of songs so recently I've just
been going back over the podcast so I'm up to date as it is. Nice to have you.
Yeah so I've gone I've gone back and I was I think three. And I just sort of thought around Bible seats,
I was like, no, well, a good way to get on the show
would be, you know, better than coming with the steel that
he had. And I got to about 13.
And I've been riding them down.
So you had the idea. Right. So we're using a hacker here to catch a hacker.
Yeah, that's right.
That's right.
We're going to think like a killer.
The same way as Jodie Foster went and chatted
to Anthony Hopkins in Sanso Lams.
Think so.
James, so you think you're going to do this
and you think you assert that Nick's beating you to it.
Yeah, he's beating me to it and it was just like I was thinking about this morning and I'm up to 13 and I'm not sure that I can even do it with just the first 13, to be honest.
Right in your head. Okay, so you weren't gonna cheat, you just wanted to try and do it.
Oh no, I definitely going to cheat. Well we appreciate you having before the court today to say that and but you were going to cheat and are you saying you
then realize it's hard to cheat. Yeah it's like too hard so like I think if you guys gave
me the test right now even on the first 13 I probably couldn't even get it right. So
you're actually you're a witness here for the defender. Sure. This is the sloppiest court proceeding of all time.
No, it's a try to be hearing.
Well, that is a great twist in the tale.
It is.
Nick, you've got to be wrapped with that,
that someone that's come to testify,
kids, do you, has actually stood up and proclaimed your innocence?
Yeah, no further questions for him.
Okay, well, we've heard from the people. I think we've heard from Nick. I'm going to go out in the limb here and presume that to the listener listening to this
now, I don't think they would rate Nick as completely unslippery.
Do we get him out of the lie detector?
Interesting.
I don't think we've solved this because Nick's kept his innocence there
I I don't think we've got enough to convict him. I do think we progress to the next level now
Is that is that formal grilling or do we think I think my vote would be we progress Nick to a formal grilling
From here and and a lie detector could very well be part of that because it says in the constitution Andy
We will be he will will subject into more firm, but fair probing. Now I, I would interpret
that as using any means necessary. Nick, a question, will you be prepared to take a lot of
tech to? Yeah. So I would be. Oh, that's fantastic. Okay. Because I think, I think, yeah,
I just think, you know, pleading the fifth to start with was answering the question
with the question. Yeah. Um. A lot of his defenses were,
you're telling me I went to all this effort
to GP out of a coin,
as if I could be bothered,
which could be throwing us off.
I think from that kind of presentation,
we can't completely acquit it.
I think there'll be some people going,
you've got a lot covering of soap on you.
You're a little bit slippery.
Not the slipperyest guy in the world,
but you was a little bit slippery.
Nick, Clea, Calender for next week,
we're gonna take this up again with you.
Sounds good. We are progressing to formal grilling. I hope to God, it doesn't end in a witch hunt. little bit slippery.
Listen up.