Hamish & Andy - Hamish & Andy 2020 Ep 108
Episode Date: September 9, 20201. Loyalty cards – return to sender2. Gibson or Fender? – special skill3. Wayne’s World vs Crazy Clark’s4. Impulse Club5. Apple remote lesson6. A thirst-quenching special skill...
Transcript
Discussion (0)
A list-naf production.
Activate your internet.
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1. One! A Hoi LC1?
Ha ha! A Hoi Sir.
A Hoi LC6!
A Hoi.
The kind of...
The more reluctant a Hoi.
The kind of flat a Hoi you'd expect
from one of the enlisted men.
So far down the ranks.
Exactly.
I just felt like the idea that people never never avoid you in the offices mess them.
Wouldn't turn my voice cheer for that, a note that's fine.
Oh yeah, just go.
Hi guys.
I'll buy you a show.
We'll be driving our chairs out the door without spitting a record.
I'm of course a hoi to Josh in the UK.
Hi, I'm Emish and, Josh here from the UK.
Love the podcast and listen to it regularly
as a welcome break from medical school.
Just finished a big day studying the pancreas
and endoscopic retrograde,
Kalangio pancreasographies,
which turns out only to be half as complicated
as figuring out how to upload this audio file.
There you go.
Anyway, I was wondering
if you could wish a big happy birthday to my Melbourne-based girlfriend Liz, who was turning
24 this week. We met in England last year, but I'm suddenly having to do a long distance
for longer than we like due to all of the restrictions. I know we'd make her day. On another note, when is this formal grilling going to happen? Sure.
Justice delayed is justice denied.
LAUGHTER
Yeah, powering through his agenda at the top.
I hear a lot of points, Cindy.
I really hope you did that on a different day.
Yeah, mate.
I'm male in my pancreas if there was a problem.
Just go, you know, obviously, warning, open with gloves.
Delicate pancreas inside. But a lot of things to hear in there, of course, consider that
the shout out done. Good call. Good call. I mean, obviously last week we got the lawyer
for Nick next week. We promise we're going to give them a week to prepare him with his
council. And then we'll, let's kick off the show next week.
Let's kick off the show with the formal grilling.
The formal grilling.
We finally get down to discovering what the hell happened to you, never so 100.
But this week, no doubt, McKinney's legal team are doing the old, higher-up PI.
Yeah.
You know, get it back.
Get it back.
Yeah, try to, try to come up with some sort of snazzy legal maneuver for their defense, which I hope they have. And reading the show constitution because there are some very
yeah, jack, we delivered both to them. Make sure we get that to them early this week.
A loyalty card cracking along. Very good news. A lot of people asking about when the ballot might
happen. Not in the foreseeable future. We know him income at this time. I've got some news for you, Hen.
Yep.
That, and Jack, for the ballot.
Yes.
So this was, we delivered 29,990, drive away for the first batch of loyalty cards, just
our $30,000, with 100, except in all stores.
Except in all stores.
Well, why?
Everything seems to be going smoothly from that end.
Yes.
A couple of little teething problems here and there, but that's to be expected when you do
a global rollout.
I mean, before, until the coronavirus vaccine rolls out, we are the biggest global rollout.
I would say, yeah.
We'd actually, I wouldn't say, so they told me nothing else on Earth has required global
cooperation like this, and it's been a nice little dry run for the
C-V vaccine. We know that there's a hundred that's going to be put in a ballot, a hundred
extra, which you hope doesn't happen with the vaccine. Here's the thing guys. You hope
everyone has access to it. There is a, there's been a few return
descenders. Oh, wrong address. Wrong address. And no, no. Yeah.
So what do we do? Are we trying to reach back out to these?
Well, I'll have a full list of those people.
I think everyone deserves a second shot.
I can't if they, I mean,
because I have to be pretty good name on them.
We've been at the name on them.
Yeah, mate.
And you and your budget issues with male or mate,
this is cost us an absolute fortune.
I'm a personality.
Yeah.
We have.
Yeah, no, it's kind of the tens and tens of thousands.
But he, all right. Okay, well, we'll work of like. The tens of tens of tens.
But, okay, well, we'll work, just, I don't want to start with the down a bit.
Let's just work out.
We're going to do with the return.
It's not a down.
Okay, it's a business.
It's a business.
Yeah.
Here's what I worry has happened that people that missed out or that know they were past the 2990 cutoff
have got a friend or someone they know is Judy Get One and they've intercepted
and they've written, not known at this address, sending back to hope that this
exact cent area would happen. That's what I think we owe everyone a second shot.
That's true. Jack's nodding his app, he's given that the hundred percent point.
And that's why we employ all businesses to have a secondary ID.
Yeah. Checking someone's loyalty card.
Yes. Because you don't know what kind of, when a card is hot, you don't know what kind of stealing
fraud might be going on.
And I think you go, what we'd like to see happen worldwide is, okay, let's just say your
real estate agent in Florida in Tonskone, here's the loyalty card, can I get 10% off this
house?
Yeah, sure, that was a million dollars.
Obviously, that's now 900, 15 million, right?
Yeah, right. You back 50 to are million dollars. Obviously that's now 900, 50 to me. Yep, right.
If you back 50 to the unit company.
So everyone's happy.
Sorry, can I see some ID?
And then they go, you know, wealthy guards, the only thing I've got on me at the moment.
Yep.
They go, okay, that's a warning.
I'd like to see a warning.
I'd like to see some warnings.
I'd like to see some warnings of coming because you couldn't provide a second ID.
And if you have to warn someone a second time, that's then you, we should set up a hotline.
But you can call, you suspect fraudulent activity.
We have a hotline for people that have been joining the card
or any gripes, people have been contacting
big thanks to Mike for going through these.
But yeah, this is just how the card
is being received around the world.
It's so great.
This is Jaren from River Render Rural Contracting
out of Wagar and New South Wales.
This is just a quick message to let the listeners know that we're having no teething issues
with the Hamish and Andy loyalty cards.
And we can't wait to give you not only the five, but the full 10% off a totally next fence
or our other services.
Business is really booming, just while the runner trying to kick us down
and we just want to give back to the people.
Well, I'm just spewing on, I didn't get in early enough to get myself from my own loyalty card, yeah?
Damon here.
Just want to say thank you for my card.
I explained the benefits to my dad, and he was blown away to the completely revolution of the game,
and said he would definitely accept the loyalty card at his store.
I mean, he'd be silly not to.
It's Nick and Cody from Octis in Perth, Western Australia.
Here at Rock, we make the Spoke Cocktail Ice, but he can also freeze objects of noice in Perth, Western Australia. Here at Rock we make the spoke cocktail ice.
We can also freeze objects of no value in the middle of each cube.
Ham, we could input a mould a copy of your SP in there.
We're just after final mould, that's big enough.
That's very nice.
Rock is happily accepting the Hey Mission Andy loyalty card
as we know a good deal when we say one.
5% to the customer, 5% to us.
Nice having the jump on Amazon.
No teething issues here.
Cheers guys.
A hoey poise.
Sarah, Jez, Mike.
And number six, I was enjoying a lovely cappuccino
at my local cafe the other day.
When I whipped out my Hamish-chanandy loyalty card,
that's number six, well into the 11,000s.
The cafe owner actually stopped me and she said,
oh, wow, I actually went to high school with
Hay Mission Ryan, Shelton.
She preceded to tell stories of the primary school days of Ryan
and then meeting Hay Mission High School
and a couple of classic, class clown stories of Hay Mission.
She was just reminiscing very fondly about her childhood friends
before flat out refusing to come.
Any teething issues were a full blown toothache, where I paid
100% of the bill with zero savings for me.
Hey, Hey Mission Andy, Jordy from Queer's Misters trivia here.
Just calling to let you know that we are very proud.
It took us up the Hey Mission Andy loyalty card, so if you or someone you love is looking
for a private online trivia show to keep your change during this weird time, check out our
website, queer'smeisters.com.
A Hoi Voice, it's now from Bombage Victoria,
tried using the loyalty card at my high school canteen,
and instead of a 10% discount, they gave me a detention.
My name is Neema and I am the founder
of a new online wheel and a state planning app.
One wheel was meant to be live by now,
but as soon as I heard about the Hamilton
and the loyalty card program,
I personally canceled all of our product development and postponed your life to focus solely on setting up our systems so that we could really capitalize on the very generous 5% kickback from loyalty card holders.
So even though this approach pushed us out a little bit, I'm pleased to report that we are now back on track to go live in October, just in time for everyone to review their financial affairs. Oh, great.
George S.
It was confusing last but I like the amount.
I've got the amount.
Yeah, well, I mean, that's smart businessman.
You know, he's obviously going live with a unicorn, a online company that's on the
verge of being valued at a bill.
He's probably going, what if we don't quite get to the billion and we know a unicorn?
Yeah.
I think I know how we're going to get there.
Yeah.
Whether it's with the 5% kickback, rewrite everything.
You've seen the social network, headphones on,
not going to the party, coding, coding, coding.
All night.
What did you do to this girl school?
What did you do to this girl school school school school?
I thought it sounded like a level.
I thought it was going to be a free cappuccina.
And in the end, it was a 0% discount.
Have to ask Ryan.
Sounded a bit more like him.
Ryan had scarred her.
She sounded, she had a lot more memories about Ryan.
He got deeper into her psyche.
Yep. That's a real shame, but we will chase.
So it just goes to show that some, you know, there are teething problems.
Which surprises me.
It surprises me.
You look at the human body and the human body, one of the most incredible things in the universe.
It's evolved over millions of years
to be this machine that we are now in.
It has teething problems.
Yep, where the saying comes from.
Yep. Teeth come in and I walk in.
You know, either human body has teething problems.
Yeah, it's true. So you're just going to go,
well, geez, we've done pretty well
if we've made a card that's just about as good as the human body, you know.
Hey, special skills. We're trying to find those that need to be recognized in society for having something elite compared to others.
How do we filter these people at enda? How do we pluck them from just walking amongst
us like regular civilians without a coin and hoist them onto a pedestal where they will possess one or eight coins
from the Amish and Amish and one instance 16.
16th-themed Whitten Hornsite was a bit of a spurt.
How do we do it?
We ask people to submit.
Why is the show turned into a rhetorical fest?
Who knows?
Will it ever stop?
We don't know. Do you think
it will stop? What's the meaning of this? HamishNedy.com. Fill out the very important podcast
to form List Your Special Skills. Nick did exactly that. A Hoi to you, Nick. Hoi, boy.
Hoi, Nick. I'm Nick, Andy. Nick. Nick. Nick. This filter, and I
side of the fence, he bought it to me and he said, Jeepers Crea has listened to what this guy can do.
Yeah.
And even though it's in an area I know nothing about, to a layman, it's been very impressive
to me.
Nick writes, just by listening to the sound, I can identify a Gibson or Fender guitar.
They're two different brands.
Afexifying, Wacker Wow on it,-reward, but effects that modify the sound too much
might be a little harder to distinguish.
That sounds incredible to me, Nick.
It's like someone going by hearing the swish
of the Denner market identifier leave eyes or noody.
Yeah, yeah.
Or some other thing.
I can do that too.
Yeah, well, that's the next round.
But I mean, just to, I think to most people,
I mean, I'm asking you here, and are you are you I was I thought this was amazing, right?
Then when I asked my guitarist my brother's guitarist in the band that he's private guitarist
My my guitarist he went yeah, I could do that really yeah
He's like I could I and I was like all right
Well, I said we'll make it hard for him and he said well, and so he's recorded these oh, I could, and I was like, all right. Well, I said, we'll make it hard for him.
And he said, well, and so he's recorded these,
but he hasn't put any effects that would modify
the sound too much.
Are you ready to take him on?
Ah, yeah, I'm ready.
Nick, we probably should set the rules out here.
Because this is a 50, 50, you've got to get 100%.
Yeah, that's fair.
That's fair.
Big thanks to Dave. Dave, my guitar,
or Cammy's guitar, I should put him in his stand. Keep saying mine.
Hey, how's guitar? Well, it was still an issue, implied. Nick, a mix skill will show.
Nick, we've actually sent these two as well.
We should point that out, that you can play the first one to yourself.
And we'll hear it at the same time.
Okay. We'll hear it the same time. Obviously angels.
Sandman, Vomitella, is that a Fender or a Gibson?
I mean, classic song, classic riff.
I'm not sure if you're trying to trick me because this riff usually played on some sort of
it's usually played on a Gibson but I think the tone sounds heavy enough so I'm gonna say Gibson.
You're incorrect. Oh, wait. So now you're in a battle to not be the Simpsons guy. Okay.
So now you're in a battle to not be the Simpsons guy. Okay.
Side game.
Actually, I mean, he's gotten a good rep recently.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So maybe I should, maybe I should aim for...
Oh, but we should warn you.
He only gained the respect of the show after enduring two harsh winters of abuse.
So once you go down to those depths, yes, you can rise again, but it's a long time.
Hmm.
We're going to...
We'll only play three now. Yeah. We don't want to go through's a long time. Hmm. We only play three now.
We don't want to go through it on the five.
David, David is a smart man.
Okay.
You can trick me.
I still don't even know how is a trick, but I guess he did.
Okay.
Go to number three.
Play the one we labeled you number three.
Okay.
We'll hear it as well. I can't, we'll hear it as well. I can't, we'll hear it as well. I can't, we'll hear it as well. I can't, we'll hear it as well. I can't, we'll hear it as well. I can't, we'll hear it as well. I can't, we'll hear it as well. I can't, we'll hear it as well. I can't, we'll hear it as well. I can't, we'll hear it as well. I can't, we'll hear it as well. I can't, we'll hear it as well. I can't, we'll hear it as well. I can't, we'll hear it as well. I can't, we'll hear it as well. I can't, we'll hear it as well. I can't, we'll hear it as well. I can, we'll hear it as well. I can, we'll hear it as well. I can, we'll hear it as well. I can, we'll hear it as well. I can, we'll hear it as well. I can, we'll hear it as well. I can, we'll hear it as well. I can, we'll hear it as well. I can, we'll hear it as well. I can, we'll hear it as well. I can, we'll hear it as well. I can, we'll hear it as well. I can, we'll hear it as well. I can, we'll hear it as well. I can, we'll hear it as well. I can, we'll hear it as well. I can, we, you know, cheese. I mean, one day, I mean, I dream of having a guitarist
of that level to play me to sleep with these riffs.
Nick Fender or Gibson. To me, that definitely sounded like a Fender. He's got it.
Oh, that's me.
Oh, I think he's the first riff for me off so much. Like, when they sent me the audio clips, they told me I could listen to them once and I
listened to them all and I'm like, that's the first one, the only one.
That threw me off.
Okay, well let's just give you a chance here just to redeem a little bit more.
Why don't we go to number six?
Yeah.
More cat is a 66%er.
Yeah.
Let's hear it. Now that screams Gibson to me Nick what are you
reckon? I mean yeah me too. Yeah yeah. It's a fend-
It's a fend-
It's a fend- It's a fend- It's a fend- It's a fend- It's a fend-
It's a fend-
It's a fend-
It's a fend-
It's a fend-
It's a fend-
It's a fend-
It's a fend-
It's a fend- It's a fend- It's a fend- It's a fend- It's a friend of my friend. That is weird. Usually Nick I can feel music more
percussive than them total and we've learnt why there. Nick will send you a
sure I'm back in flipper Yamaha in there. No, I'll be here on time.
It was Yamaha. Oh Yamaha. He's got the time. He's got the time. We have to be Joe Rogan. I have to give a three hours to listen to the yammer.
Yeah.
Nick, never say to anyone that you can do that.
I'm sorry, you cannot do that, Nick.
We'll send you a token of no value, my friend,
to match your ears of no talent.
Bit harsh?
Yeah.
Oh, bit rough.
Bit rough.
I'm going to end the show.
Thanks for the very funny see ya.
All right, buddy. See ya.
All right, there.
BELL RINGS
Guys, as a show, do we like gossip?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Off air as well as on.
Yeah.
I mean, in terms of the true definition of gossip,
which is something that's perhaps
low on facts, but high on excitement.
I think we've proved time and time again.
We have an extremely low bar for facts.
And it's huge appetite.
Huge appetite for excitement.
Well, that's why I got excited about this.
Came in from Nicole.
So just listen to the Wayne's World podcast.
Yeah, great. This is the Wayne's World Discamfer ID stores.
We rang Wayne. Talk to Wayne. We found out whether the store was
invented after the movie. Well, it had been invented after the movie,
but did he know the movie? Was it, for instance, he did know the movie.
He had heard of the movie, but hadn't put it together at that stage.
Was going to call Wayne Mart, turns out he thought
Kmart may see him, so he decided more vigorously
than Mike Myers would.
Just listen to the Wayne's World podcast.
Wanted to share some gossip in case
no one else has shared this with you.
Wayne Clark used to be one half of the brothers
who started a discount variety store called Crazy Clarks.
I remember Crazy Clarks.
The brothers then had a falling out prior to 1997, clearly, and Wayne decided to get revenge
by opening a Wayne's World next door to every Clay Crazy Clarks.
There was, in order to push his brother out of business.
So for a while, it's...
It's a enthusiasm.
It's a start as a spotter.
Spotter.
So for a...
No, allegedly.
Sorry, this is gossip.
Yep, this is gossip.
So for a while, everywhere there was a crazy clocks, up to Papa Wayne's world, where
I lived, Wayne won the battle.
And Crazy Clarks disappeared.
Do we have some stats on Crazy Clark?
But where are Crazy Clarks now?
But I've heard in other places, Crazy Clarks was the victor.
I'd love an update as to who the ultimate regional discount variety store is though.
There's a little fun fact for you guys.
Well, I get the feeling if we call Wayne back and asked him who's the king of the stores.
He may say Wayne.
I don't know if he'd give it to.
No, I'm a brother.
I did a bit of research.
His brother has since sold Crazy Clark, so not even involved in that anymore.
So I would, and then he's got his own, I think he's got crazy car rentals.
Crazy, right?
Yeah, so he's got it.
So everywhere he moves, crazy car rentals. Great. Yeah. So he's got everywhere he moves. Yeah.
There's no sanity. It's not deals. It's still in
same. He's not applying any logic or rational thought to any
of the prices there, that low. To me, it just seems like the
great opportunity for a film. This is this is the N Ron film
that Australia needed. We don't have a corporate film.
This is a corporate film and through,
because we're a prerecorded podcast,
I've got a script for you here, guys.
We can lay it down and suddenly everyone will hear
the finished trailer.
They were brothers that loved discounts.
Maybe everything should be $5.
That's a great idea, why?
Until one discount tore them apart.
Maybe the Capri favour favorites could be $10.
But then not everything will be $5.
But it's okay if just one item is 10.
You're freaking crazy.
We're both crazy.
We're crazy clogs.
Not that crazy one.
And start a feud.
I'm leaving you Frank.
I'm starting a new business.
You crazy?
No, you're crazy.
Crazy clogs.
But for me, a whole new world has opened up.
Ways world.
Isn't there a film called that? What? No, not to my knowledge. I actually have absolutely no
knowledge of that film. Wait, world, the movie. Sorry, I definitely don't think I can call the film
nothing again. We'll be the first Farah as I know. Crazy Clarks, the movie.
It's the final discount down.
Swing.
And it's time.
A few weeks ago on the show, I launched a very, very special club,
very special movement, an exciting time for me,
an exciting time, I think, for the listeners of the show.
50% of the population, we know,
he's diagnosed with impulsiveitis.
We are citizens of the earth who are unable to resist
the Instagram ads that pop up in your feed, Facebook ads.
Don't send them to me hoping I pass them on to him.
He's got a, he's, he's traced for him.
You will not, you will not find any,
it's faster pipeline coming through any side of things.
No, what what the club was though,
if I build it in the show, it's been a few weeks for Dory.
They've been collated.
They've been slowly coming and we have I've been over
subscribed with people wanting to join in Pulse Club.
If you see an ad that you know in your heart,
and I know this feeling very well in your heart, you go, I must have this. Even though there could be some logical argument against you
purchasing it on the grounds of need, you can't find it. I mean, it's either it's usually
built as mesmerizing or even suspicion, the product doesn't exactly.
Yes, it's made not work as advertised. I had someone send me something going, listen mate,
I don't want this.
So it's just to be clear to you,
so for Emboss Cobb send them through to me.
I will buy them.
If I want it as well,
this is the way we beat the system.
Because no one wants to just be losing all their money
to these ads yet at the same time.
We want to empower the staff ourselves.
So I buy it.
I use it for one month.
I'll pay 60% of the retail. I will then give it to you if you pay 40% for the rest of the items life.
Because I have noticed my usage graph is quite heavily focused around that one month.
Oh, I reckon the long tail, quite a long tail into the future.
Guy sent one to me and he goes, mate, I don't want these, but I think you might.
I looked at them, they're the world's most advanced snow shoe.
And you know what?
Shit, they're good.
And I mean, I obviously live in a non-alpine climate.
Yeah.
But why do these snow shoes work?
They kind of like, they're metal.
They're like, they kind of like fold up, fold back down.
They're like in a kind of a cool wave motion.
So it's sort of like this optical illusion,
and I've never snow-shoed in my life.
And I mean, did you get him?
No, I did.
Okay.
This is to prove that I have some level of restraint.
Well, you're lucky because you've got,
you can service it through this club.
Oh, I'm not, I will say this actually now
that I'm re-remembering the snow shoes.
I'm not completely out.
But what I need is someone that also wants them.
This guy didn't want them. So I'm not gonna bear 100%. That's a waste of money. I'm not completely out. But what I need is someone that also wants them. This guy didn't want them. So I'm not going to bear 100%. That's a waste of money. I get it.
I don't live with this. No. 60? Yeah, we're talking. Okay. I will say this for impulse club.
A lot of people have just emailed in and gone. I want a 4K TV. That's not an impulse. That's just
you wanting a luxury item. That's just you want to make that. That's just a regular item. Yeah.
Well, for some people it is luxury. The common man, fork is not a given.
These days fork is close to.
I don't have fork.
Yeah mate.
Some of it because you haven't got it for free for the something you've done Jack.
Jack's still on one of the old bubble TVs.
Okay, let's jump into this.
We've collated Mike.
A lot of the means sent through to Mike,
and obviously he goes through the emails here.
He's put together three people that want to pitch
like Shark Tankin'.
Well, it is a bit like Shark Tankin'.
I mean, it's a hungry shark, so you know the shark's
probably gonna eat whatever you put in front of it.
But the key thing is here, I do have to go,
yes, I want that.
Okay, here we go.
I don't know what it is, or who makes it, but it's got a snazzy ad.
So I'm in impulse club.
Who is our first applicant of impulse club, Jackie?
A hoi, Jackie.
A hoi, Jackie.
A hoi, boys.
Happy birthday, Andy.
No need.
Jackie, talk us through the item that you're proposing to Hamish.
So I came across this the other day actually, it's called Pivo.
Yeah, I'm having a look at it now. I don't know this one. Yep.
What is it basically? What it is, it's a device that you can attach your phone to.
And while you're filming, it auto tracks you while you film and it will move around.
It's sort of.
It's sort of. Yeah, imagine a coffee mug cut in half about that volume
and your phone clips into the top and landscape portrait.
From far and end of the ad correctly, Jackie,
and you hit record and it's got people like dancing
and like moonwalking and the phone will track them.
So it's right.
So it's a motion sense in the bottom half of the cup.
It must tell the base that it's something's moving,
must use Bluetooth or something, and track you.
Gee, that could be pretty good to own,
because I mean, you know, you put it on the bench,
you're walking around.
I don't think you need this at all.
Hmm, could be good for the kids, could just let it roll up.
It could be very good for the kids.
And so, what do you want to do?
Well, basically, I'm at the age where all my friends
are getting married and having kids,
but I instead decided it was a good time to learn how to roll a skate.
So, I've been grateful in all roll a skating.
Yes, so I'm tracking my progress, and I think my boyfriend's getting a bit annoyed having
to come and film me all the time.
And you know what, on the ad, there haven't so much fun to have seen.
I've been hit with this ad.
Under having the best time dancing.
And often it's an act.'s people miserable using the product. Do you think I
worry about Jackie was the speed of the tracking, but it seems fine to me. Yeah, well, there's a
couple of different models. So the base model is usually 159, but it's actually down to 109 at the
moment. Jackie's older. No, Jackie's older. If they've made that error, I'm rising at that low, we should bounce on that.
You happy to go 40%.
Yeah, I am.
That's a deal.
Okay, great.
Well, he's got a $6,000 for you.
Well, I mean, actually, why am I saying, well, though, I think I just said, I said,
I said, it's the US.
That's okay.
Well, that's, well, still, down from $159,000, geez, that's expensive.
I need to fail you for both of you
But I got a card up in the deal be
The line we've got to actually figure out the money
Sitch I guess Jackie just transfers it to my account but in advance. Oh hundred percent Jackie. Are you still there? Yeah?
Yeah, I need money in advance
Yeah, that's fine, but you trust so you trust Hamish to pass it on after a month?
Yeah.
Okay.
I'm sorry to have that.
Yeah, because if you have complaints to Hamish,
they can go to my side of the fence up.
I'll follow that up.
Because the other thing is, if I'm like,
I'll send it to you and if you're enjoying it,
give me the 40.
Yeah.
That's just never happening.
Ahoi to Nicole.
Welcome to impulse club.
Ahoi boys and of course, ahoi Sarah.
Sarah? Oh, of course, the grin is outside Sarah. Show Hoi Boys and of course a Hoi Sarah. Sarah? Oh, I've got the grinners outside of Sarah.
The show is number three, of course.
Oh, yes.
Ah, Naka, you do know Naka, who pulls the strings?
It wouldn't be number six.
You should know who she shouldn't be number three by Annie saying who's Sarah.
Forgot all she was.
Well, no, I mean, in the Onet World, you, I mean, to us, she's exact level.
That's our first executive producer, Call that. I think we've had in the show.
Nicole, what's the item for the impulse club?
It's called the next area.
Yeah. And it's this small, but obviously life-changing device.
So the best way to describe it is think of a delicious steamed bowel bun.
No. But instead of wheat, it's made from a very dense but flexible foam.
And it goes at the back of your neck. You lay down on it and it provides a
beautiful stretch from the top of your neck to the bottom. And that's it.
Oh, there's some of the whole neck. You say from the top of your neck to the bottom?
Oh, your neck, yeah. 100% neck coverage. It's a phone stretched. I'm looking at the thing here yet.
It's good. This is how it does like a little of these fitness stretchy foamy things.
Doesn't he, Jack? He's all over the world. Well done on finding one. I don't know.
And I've got a rumble roll. I've got a vibrone roll. I've got a ferragun. I've got like a full
set of, you know, people have used the balls. That's a rookie shit. I've got a full set of six different sizes.
They really get into the glutes.
However, I don't own the next saviour.
Gee, it looks good and funnily enough,
I was wrestling with my son on the trampoline,
you see, and he discovered a move where I just sit up
and he puts his foot on my head and kicks my head back down.
And it seemed fun at the time.
But my neck's killing me today.
So that's a deal, is it?
How much are we talking then, Akal? It's about $80 for the time. Bye bye next killing me today. That's a deal is it. How much are we talking then Nicole? It's about $80 for the classic. And is there an high, is there a more advanced
model than the classic? What's the top of the line? That's the advanced. So there's two, there's
the classic and the mini. The classic is top of the range. Never get me. Never get the mini anything.
Hey, Nicole, I will take really good care of this. I think I need it. It doesn't have multiple uses like different modes it can go in.
It does. So the classic has four different modes. So you should choose the right.
It's all the same. It's all the same. It's all the same.
So we're going to go. That's awesome. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. So, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm up on the line here. I was so glad when I saw your name come through
Mm-hmm. I can't get everyone to wear that has offered for impulse club, but
Yours is good. It's got tell Andy tell Andy what it is
Well, I'm really hoping it gets along the line now first off. Happy birthday Andy
Congrats on the SP Hamish. Thank you so much
Props on that props on that recent Amy Shark interview Jack, you've been going with it. Thank you. What is the item, Scotty?
It's a fire wallet.
It is a bit of a magic item, magic props.
I know we kind of lose you there, Andy.
You won't tell him what it does.
So basically, when you open it, it catches on fire.
No.
You know, I thought because I was watching the golf...
Yesterday, and they have the, like, because it's the Australian feed of some, the worst
after. There was a fireproof wallet for you ever time.
Fireproof wallet. Why does anyone do your body proof water?
And then the guy took a liar.
And he said it's made out of the same material as they use on vests for like a pencil
that got fired and gunned at the wall.
But if you saw it, I was like, no one needs a wallet, that robust.
Here we go. This is different. This generates its own fire.
I assume Scott using a sort of a flint and lighter fluid setup.
Yeah, so you've got to put a bit of fluid on it
from what I've seen.
And then when you open it up,
I've seen a lot of people do it in cranks and drive through
to think about that.
It catches on fire.
Awesome.
And then when you close it,
it goes out and then you can use it as a normal wallet.
Price is not an issue. How much is it? So is where I think we'll win you Andy 20 bucks. Oh,
man, give us a take about 20 dollars. That's what I've seen online. Yeah, it's 40 bucks.
Yeah, it's 40 bucks.
It's got a, let's get one each. Yeah, I don't mind that at all. Yeah. And I don't even
mind back 60% of the one-age.
The one-age.
No, like the double the price, because I feel like I'm two for one-age.
Yeah, I'll see if I can get a two for one deal, but I mean, I was always going to say yes to this,
and it's the greatest thing ever.
Can you imagine the kids' lives level? Is their mind, or do I go, don't worry guys, I've got this one.
I was just kidding. I don't put a I can't put real money in this kid catching fire.
Well, well done, Scotty.
I'm actually the only one I'm looking forward to seeing.
We'll get these, Scotty.
I just want to send you a clean one.
I'm going to send you a burnt wallet.
So this way we both get one.
I appreciate it.
And Andy, there's no lighting up your lung darts with it.
Yeah, that's what I'm doing.
Of course, he's leading these kids coming with a hundred of the Christmas unglin'
gals for the next week, can't wait.
Thank you, Scotty.
Cheers, mate.
Thanks, boys.
Oh, well done.
And we've brought Mike into the studio, Mike, how you mate?
Good, thank you.
Number four.
All right. Oh, here make? Good, thank you. Number four. All right.
Oh, here's number six, all set.
LAUGHTER
Now, Mike and Mike, number four, you, as part of the team,
a very high ranking member of the team,
one of your attributes.
I've got you in for two reasons.
A, you understand tech very well.
Yeah.
B, you have a voice that's not familiar to my wife, and I want to use you for something.
Great.
Do you accept both of these attributes?
I would say both are true.
Great.
Here's the thing.
My, you know, we've been a lot in, we're in Melbourne, so I'd love my to go.
I'm so sorry, I call you all white.
Is she knows me well?
I talked to her most nights for hours with my chest against each other.
Well, you're uncleing my wife.
Impulse your wife.
Your bangs, I'll have fun, Pants.
My wife's watching your Twitch channel.
I'm confident that she won't pick it.
I mean, she's going to pick what this is straight away,
but I want us to get as far as we can.
Off to a three-dick of hits, far as we can.
Yep. One thing that's been a little bit of an issue pick what this is straight away, but I want us to get as far as we can.
One thing that's been a little bit of an issue in our relationship of late is, you know,
we've been tearing through a bunch of series. Those remote control use is terrible.
It's such a shame. I've seen people with this inflection.
And I, and but she also has a top personality where she needs to definitely be the driver
to ride the volume.
But then when it comes time to pause,
we miss something, whatever.
Especially on Netflix, we're doing a few series
that require quite a lot of pausing and rewinding.
The Germans who he's dark,
did this was now a couple of weeks ago,
but she was a fiend for it in dark.
We really have to stop and go back 30 seconds,
quiet.
We're on the Apple remote, right?
Like the Apple TV remote. It's a little touchpad one at the top.
It's a little one.
Yeah, it's a little one.
And there's not a lot of buttons on it.
Apple prides themselves on that, I guess.
And she's been jumping out of the show.
She's been hitting the wrong button.
And then the more she panics, the worse it gets.
And I sit there going, would you, may I show you the ways someone
very calm can use this piece of equipment?
And I, you know, it's not dissimilar to firearms, right?
Of course, you know, law enforcement, um, military, they train,
then train and train.
So in the heat of battle, it's smooth.
Yes.
You give one to a civilian, they panic and just squeeze a thousand rounds and shoot
the roof like gens when we went to the shooting range with them.
It's easy. With easy, in Dallas. Yes. And rounds and they'd shoot the roof like James, when we went to the shooting range with him. With EZ.
With EZ in Dallas.
Yes.
And what happened?
He shot the roof.
Yes.
I decided not to go, because I didn't want to see James
with an EZ.
All the guy at the gun's store did was shrug.
Looking us and going, well, there's nothing I can do here.
He's got a EZ.
That's the kind of thing that people with EZ's
for the first time do.
So, all right, so that's exactly what's happening with Zone.
And then the more, the more he gets away from the shooting,
the gun and allergy, you know,
who in our life used to do so a time,
Sam our old producer.
Yeah.
Remember any technology goes, can I drive?
Oh yeah.
You know what I say, can I drive?
I'm like, oh, well, you can't actually,
but you're about to.
And then you get on the mouse and just wander around.
All over the shop.
So like, I don Like open up Russian hackers.
Yeah.
You know, somehow in two clicks.
They'd always had to drive.
Always had to drive.
Now, I am seeing that, you know, Zod does not enjoy my advice or commentary from my side
of the couch pointing out that things could be a bit better in the remote department.
So what I wanted to do was just for shits and giggles, I guess, get Mike into
Mike, can you call my wife now? I've told her, oh, honey, somewhere from the bank might be calling
KSA Private Number, I'm sorry. Call my wife and you say hi, it's Mike from Apple. And we've
been noticing on your Apple TV, you've just been having a few problems using the remote,
and would you like to give me a few tips, we'd like to give a few tips and I've written down four of her key areas.
I think you could improve on this.
Yeah, great.
This is going to go very well for me, I think.
So maybe just go early just to go.
He's at Zoe.
Yeah.
We'll at least get one centred away before she hangs up.
I mean, the penny will drop fast.
Yes.
And then go, yes, it's microphone apple.
I still would like you to try and get through the list.
I mean, all jokes aside, I'd like I'd have known this stuff. Okay, great. I'll do my best. Thanks, man. Mike from Apple. I still would like you to try and get through the list I mean all jokes aside. I'd like it to know this stuff. Okay, great. I'll do my first. Thanks man
I'll be because if I'm you know, I'm not gonna get any for a few weeks
Hello, is that me speaking? Oh hi Zoe This is Mike here from Apple. How's it going? Good, Mike, how are you?
Yeah, really good. Hey, I just wanted to give you a call because we've noticed that you're having a few issues with your remote control on your Apple TV.
So I just wanted to give you some tips on how to use that a bit better. Mmm.
Very good, Mr. Blake.
Very good.
Very good.
I should have fired up for it when I was the new eye patch.
This is Pierre.
I'm Mike's manager.
You should hear him out.
Oh, I'll get started with the tips if that's okay with you.
Well, I'll get through at least one of them if that's okay.
I'm sure.
So when you're pausing a Netflix show, you seem to sometimes hit the menu button instead
of the big black button at the top.
So you don't want to be hitting the menu button, just that big pause button on the top of
the remote is probably the best way to do it.
Yep, I know.
Yeah, well in that case we'll move on to number two.
I think we look great.
So when you restart after pausing, sometimes you'll accidentally hit the menu button
again, pretty weird.
You just want to hit that pause button again.
It's pretty easy.
Is there any like, do you have a special glove that you sell that I can maybe wear?
No, you wouldn't need a glove.
You just silly, silly, silly, two small remote better. No, no, you wouldn't need a glove. We'll
just do number three now. Sometimes we've noticed when you're trying to rewind or fast forward,
you're doing pretty aggressive swipes there. You really just need to do some gentle swipes.
That's how you do a small amount. Your swipes tend to be going five minutes ahead or behind,
which is far too much time.
Mike, I don't think it's fair that you're putting this all back on the consumer.
Maybe it's your remote that needs to be remade and redone to be less slippery.
The design of the remote is pretty optimal.
You said it's like we think so, yeah.
I've got one more.
I've got one more. You can actually just use the forward ten seconds
or back ten seconds. You don't actually need a swipe. You can just hover your finger
over the button and then a question.
Oh, I've never been able to know that.
Well, it is one of the more advanced techniques I suppose. I've got one more for you if
that's okay. Oh, good. Yes.
We recommend, sorry, this is more of a recommendation.
We recommend going to a show that you're not watching
like the sinner and practice with that.
That's a good idea.
We like it.
Like in your own time or something,
you know, you've been an hour or something
one afternoon just far from pausing
and that way you wouldn't spoil anything
on a show that you like and you to do it. You're not able to do it.
You're not able to do it.
You're not able to do it.
You're not able to do it.
You're not able to do it.
You're not able to do it.
You're not able to do it.
You're not able to do it.
You're not able to do it.
You're not able to do it.
You're not able to do it. You're not able to do it. Sorry, Apple called me as well to conferences both because I won't show who was using the
remote. So I guess that's been good. Yeah, it's been good to hear from Mike from Apple
for both of us. And Andy's just next to me having lunch. So that's how that happened.
Just out of interest. So why can't I be trusted? No, no, no, because I, if I can, if I think
I can hear the kids on the monitor, I need to quickly pause and cock in here. And if
the show is too loud, like in the action bit so I need to turn it down or too quiet during this baking bit. I have a policy of let it run. Yeah, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, yeah, no that's a good stuff. All right, well good feedback from Mike. Yeah.
So you can take that one or not.
It did to me, Mike.
And, uh,
Honey, I mean he's an authorised representative
of the world's biggest company.
So we should listen to what he has to say.
I think this Mike has got some pretty good points.
Yeah.
He's such a snake in the grass.
Okay, so,
it's definitely what he is.
All right.
Thanks, honey, get a big mistake.
Love you.
Bye. [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪
And I've got a special skill before we go that I want to present to you guys
as a potential one to test on the show.
There's actually another one I was going to present by a Lert Canadian listener, Benny McGraw.
OK. A big shout, a big hoi to Benny. He won't hear this for a few weeks.
For reasons you'll figure wrap one, a second.
Just Canada have the tone.
You know how America's got, well, y'all, you know,
like, like, and we've got G'day.
They can kind of have their own.
It's a moose call.
And I would never do it.
I couldn't do it justice.
But if you are a Canadian,
you, they'll do that to each other privately.
Okay.
Very special for an outsider to hear it.
So Benny might give us that.
He's a skill. He says, I can tell you exactly where someone is scratching their body
within a 65 millimeter radius.
Just from the sound of the scratch.
Really.
The margin of error should take background noise, length of fingernails, fabrics, jewelry
and duration into consideration.
And I went, well, this is, I mean, impossible.
Yeah, you would think 65 centimeters is such is such an interesting diameter, or like radius.
65 millimeters, so 65 millimeter radius around the scratch.
So, yeah.
Not a lot of room for error.
Yes, if I'm scratching my rib, he would allow Nepal, but that's going to be one of the
hard ribs.
Yeah.
Not really number 13.
So, I was interested trying to figure out how we're going to do this.
Do we send him audio of five scratches?
I think that'd be hard.
I think that's harder for him with the audio
because he'd have to be in the room, wouldn't he?
We've had that room, we had that problem
with the liquids being poured
and there was such a high fidelity mic
that you could hear and running away.
I didn't tear up.
So it was raining.
It was just, it was noises, was noises the humidity would never hear.
So yeah, you're right.
It'd be good to get him in, but he is in Canada.
Yeah, okay.
Anyway, long story short, I, long story medium, email him and he goes, I love to do this.
Can you bear with me a while?
Just about to take off for a fairly long getaway in the Canadian wilderness.
So he is, you get the sense that he goes, I loved it, I'm big on for a while, but just
made a few lads and the kids and some canoes.
Can we postpone for a few weeks?
We can mate.
We can and I, for some reason makes me think he can do it more because if he's a man
of the wilderness, he's used to like listening to the rustle of the trees to know where a
BMR'd be hiding.
If you're out, you know, no devices.
I don't know how you're gonna pass the time.
Listening.
Senses.
So just grab somewhere.
Yeah.
The holes.
Yeah.
Pretty close, dude.
Second rib.
I'm calling it.
That's six and a half centimeters away.
Anyway, which brings me someone else.
I'm glad I'm glad we've got a gap for Beni.
Yeah.
Beni's given us a few weeks till he gets out of the wilderness because Billy has
presented with a pretty amazing specials, great.
Of his own. He joins us in the final.
Hoi, Billy.
Oh, he be boys and India.
Yeah, I get a bill.
Um, uh, Hoi, do you tell us what is your special skill?
Blindfolded.
I'd be able to tell you what be I am drinking out of a schoo-na.
Any beer?
There's a lot of craft beers.
Yeah, mainly in the common man's sort of beer, so the B-B-2 is great.
So all of them, iron jack.
Yeah, per-own-ah if I'm feeling a little bit fancy, but...
Yeah, yeah, hold the fruit.
Corona's one of the easiest ones you think to pick.
I mean that does have a distinction.
Okay well let's say that it has to be...
Do you reckon you could do it across the 12 most common beers?
It can't be a micro-brewy.
Can't be a micro-brewy.
No, no, yeah, the 12 most common beers I could do.
Do you all think I'm wondering if I could do that?
Okay, what about we make it more difficult?
Top slab of common beers, The top 24 most common brands.
Yeah. Yeah. I'd take that.
So yeah, we just go, we just go to CUB and all the distills
and stuff and go, oh, what's the most 24 most,
what are the 24 most popular beers in Australia?
And that's our playing field.
I love that. Yeah.
We're not going to CUB because they,
but they'll say there's, let's go to the...
Can we just be...
Can we just be...
It's all our beers and they're all the lilies. Let's go to a bottle shop. Yeah, and just go show us your stats. Let's find the biggest bottle shop in Australia
Yep, and find their top 24 selling beers. Yes, actually, and then we'll pick shouldn't we do it though
We should we should we should do like one new South Wales one Perth
Yeah, one because you're gonna get you know, yeah
We'll we'll establish the 24 most drunk and then we'll give a lot of work for us
Then we'll give you five of them. Yeah, they'll do that. We'll establish the 24 most drunk and then we'll give a lot of work for us. Then we'll give you five of them. Yeah, they'll come from that
They'll come from that. Yeah, no, I'd love to have a go as well. I mean, can I
We can play along? Yeah, this one this feel like if he if he can if he hears the fire from fire
But I was thinking probably the great news is that Pogasco minutes a week And we've got all this free time. Yeah, what are we just do a whole day of it? Yeah. All right, Bill. We're pretty good
Bill. Well, we're we're back to your left mate. I knew self-wild. Okay. So there are some
restrictions around at the moment. Yeah. We'll come back to you. Let's hope we can get it down by the end of the year. Yeah, right. We'll make this happen
Billy just just you know ducking and weaving just sample a few products in the meantime you keep sharpening up and we'll let you know when we're a go
Thank you
Thank you. And then Benny's coming out of the woods too. It's actually scratching come
Thanks for listening the Hamish Nandy podcast will return next week catch up or contribute Exactly. Scratching coming up.