Hamish & Andy - Hamish & Andy 2020 Ep 81

Episode Date: March 4, 2020

1. Hamish’s Big Opener2. Bitcoin update3. Upset Andy4. Hymn prank5. Ben the Bed Whisperer6. Power Moves

A LISTEN-UP PRODUCTION Activate your internet Because the hay mission and the podcast starts in 3, 2, sorry, still buffering 1 At 2020, ohoy do you, haymish? Way back, ohoy, do you, hey, Mish? We're back! Ohoy, Mish! Holy Jack, oh! Happy 2020 to you, too.

Yeah. I think, certainly, when people complain, I feel saying, happy new year. Yeah. Around about two weeks out, from January, although I think... Happy Olympic season? That's a nice early one.

Chinese New Year's in April, like... No, no, no, no, no. In a gen. In a gen, is it? I think. Have Olympic season. That's a nice early one. Chinese New Year's in April, like. No, no, no, no. In a gen. In a gen, is it? I think we, it's got a little... It's got a little... Chinese Fiscal Year, I think, year's April.

Well, a symbol of the name. He's lost touch with the common man already, monitoring his offshore accounts for the rest of us. It is only the Chinese New Year. Freedomplings, street parties. That's what we're interested in. Not what the Hang Sengs do in the world. Must be not.

What are people working the finance sector? A. Sure. It was all your friends. Well, you call them friends, they're more employees. But I know for a fact, to be fair, you have a good rapport with them. I'm also a hoi to the Walters family, who you certainly see in from the desert of North America.

Hello, hey, Mission Andy. This is the Walters family messaging from the middle of the Mahavi desert where there's not a lot for us to do and we thought we would spend our time navigating how to upload this audio file. Well, we've got a couple of messages from the family. Ready? Stay away from sickle exercises. Happy birthday, Andy. Please, MSP. Thank God I was able to see you. That is a wonderful message for the young to be giving you an honor. Hope it falls on receptive ears.

SIGARETCANT TODAY. It's zero. At a boy. And it falls on receptive ears. SIGARETCANT today. Zero. Out of boy. And it's that kind of attitude. Just the same amount for my whole life. Yeah. That's so, wouldn't that be nice? It remains the same.

Zero today is the positive news. You keep that up, mate. You can cough. It's a cough, you can say. One time, what was the smoker? And I've asked no more. Tucked out for me with three-year-old It's telling me to put down the cigarettes.

It is lovely to hear. And that's it. Look, to be honest, if you're stuck in the desert or if you're in any situation where you have an absolute abundance of time to kill, please, by all means, navigate the website. Go through the laborious protocol of clicking open menus, attachments, files,

checking so many over the break. So many of the break. Anyway, well, hope we get one more this year, because I know for a fact about October, you were absolutely panicking. Well, hey, in an attempt to the tide, and absolutely hold up a mirror to the on-sort that I'm getting from you and bounce it right back at you.

There was a large promise, which I think you have, and you forgot you made. And I've been counting down the days to the podcast starting again. But there was a promise you made in the very last show of last year. Refresh my man. You said, well, you're meant to give us a big finish. Jack, stuff about that one. And unfortunately, for those that remember, the big finish was hijacked by hackers.

Yep. He demanded a Bitcoin ransom. Yep. Coincidentally, the same amount of big coins that Jack lost. And he'd lost... We were left with a... Lose, Lose scenario. The listeners lost the... The big finish, and of course, Jack's big coins remained lost as well.

Yep. Which were your big coins as well. So, really a lose, lose, lose. Uh, and then at the end of the show, after the big finish had failed, he had been hacked. You said this. Was it good? Can you tell the least tell us what you were.... Right, Ben. You said this. Was it good? Can you tell the least tell us what you were saying?

It was so good. Oh really? Yeah. It was so big too. We will see you. Definitely. We will see you next year. We'll be back next year.

We're the big start. Right. I was reminded of this over the break. And to the people in the big start. Yeah, people in the big DMing. Of course, it was always done with the tone that they were acting as if I'd forgotten. I did not forget to prepare a big opener. It's 2020.

It's our third year of this podcast. I think it deserves a big opener. Yeah. With that openers before we're not a big opener. It's 2020. It's our third year of this podcast. I think it deserves a big opener. We had openers before but not a big opener. I prepared something so big that obviously it can't be contained within this studio. It couldn't be done here. But I was able to take the recording equipment over the Christmas break, working in my own time for the show to the Sydney Opera House. That would have rented it for one day. I wanted to launch a sheeted, some concepts out of this. Did you see it?

Did I miss it? Yeah, the Uncay sister. Yeah. Noted high. We had a sort of a nod. I was very focused. Had I been there for fun, I probably would have said high, but I was there. One day rehearsal, one day to get the take, as we say.

And I recorded it. Now I didn't want any hacking problems, so I bought the hard drive in myself offline, because I knew if I had it on a computer, hackers could get it, because it'd be connected. So I bought the hard drive in safe and sound. I've plugged it into the desk. I hope that this works.

Yep, that the hard drive delivers. But I've plugged it in now. Now, of course, it's online now, but nothing's gonna happen back. Here we go. Okay, Jack, here we go. Light it up. I didn't jump in, please enjoy the big opener. I mean, thanks a lot everybody.

Thank you. Thank you, everyone, if you're just fine, come down. All right, we've got the orchestra. We've got the choir. We rehearsed this, we're done and dry, everyone. Thank you for coming in over the Christmas holidays. I really appreciate it. We've got one shot at least. it works. It's gonna sound so awesome episode one of the podcast Cost me a fortune. I hit it. This doesn't work. My kids ain't going to high school, but I believe in it. It's gonna sound great. Here we go

Three two 3, 2, 1 Power Techniques! What's that? No, no, no, no, sorry guys, I'm just gonna share a reboot protocol. Sorry about this. Initiating reboot protocol. Reboot protocol successful. Yes, okay, good. I got a few. Oh, hack is sorry. I'll just walk them.

I'm sorry about this. Oh, good girl. Oh, no. Okay Oh I'm sick. I'm sick. I'm sick. I'm sick. I'm sick. I'm sick. I'm sick. I'm sick. I'm sick. I'm sick.

I'm sick. I'm sick. I'm sick. I'm sick. I'm sick. I'm sick. I'm sick. I'm sick.

I'm sick. I'm sick. I'm sick. I'm sick. I'm sick. I'm sick. I'm sick. I'm sick. I'm sick. must feel upset and I feel really upset due to the, as I said, two days of upper-house higher and all that. And just at the last minute, of course you've got to plug it into play it.

But that's that waiting. That was waiting. I mean, the distincts of an ambush, thank you. The listeners will be upset. They will. I need to make good. And I just wonder if you're obviously, you know, you call it a day. Yeah. Or you do the right thing. Yeah, I think you promised a big start to the Chinese financial I know I've come flying back with just clearing up things from last year and big statements made. We have had time to think.

Yes, bad luck again on the big open of getting hacked. Really, no. And fact, yeah, I'm ropeable against hackers. Only those doing evil. I'm sure there's a lot of hackers out there who would like to spring to my aid and hunt down the people that have done this. Do you want to say, look,

appreciate the offer. Let's just, let me just assess the options here before we go nuclear on this. But yeah, I mean, they're scandals. They're clearly waiting for that. That's a real low blow. I am. I actually don't know if I saw something just quickly off the bat, the Chinese fiscal year. That's a real low blow. I am. I actually don't need to verify something

just quickly off the bat, the Chinese fiscal year. I've had a little good calendar year, but the whole thing in Hong Kong, April one, obviously part of China. That's where I got my wires crossed there. Will you have the big open ready for the Hong Kong fiscal year? I'm like somebody, I would like a Chinese national to contact the show and explain the difference from the Hong Kong financial year to the Chinese mainland financial year.

I would have assumed they're the same. I did say, and I can't go back on my word, I will have a big open already for the Chinese financial year. Now, it's next year. That's January, it's December 31st. They don't go for Chinese New Year? No.

They go for, they just go for, what's in the calendar year? Right,, that's unlucky that seems a long way away What a shame I was I could have just gone again, but okay if that's the case Let's get a little clarification on that certainly not putting it off just seeking more clarification Okay, last year Jack you would came to our tension There's a Hamish just touched on before that you lost Last year, Jack, you came to our attention, and Hamish just touched on before that you lost the passcode for your Bitcoin, also the remainder of my Bitcoin.

That's right. And I think we had a little deal that if a memory serves really correctly went like this. What I'd like, Jack, in exchange, is one big ask. Like, you get to, when you think of it, ask for any favor, and I can't say no. Yep. Give me a big ask. What you get to, you get to, when you think of it, ask for any favor, and I can't say no. Yep. Give me a big ask. What about this? You have all summer to find the Bitcoin. But if you come back episode one of next year and you haven't found it, if you haven't found Andy's point 189,

the big ask is in play, and I will mediate it. That is sadly only fair. maybe I did. That is sadly only fair. Yeah. Yeah. Classic case of Ando realizing the power he was in and using it to leverage something that was fictional, which is probably that's safe to say. The Bitcoin ever coming back is fictional into something that's real. To my choice of fact, that someone DMed me on Instagram saying thataser project. To my chaser project. To my chaser project.

To my chaser project. To my chaser project. To my chaser project. To my chaser project. To my chaser project. To my chaser project. To my chaser project. To my chaser project. To my chaser project. To my chaser project. To my chaser project. To my chaser project. To my chaser project. To my chaser project. To my chaser project. To my chaser project. To my chaser project. To my chaser project. To my chaser project. To my chaser project. To my chaser project. To my chaser project. To my chaser project. To my chaser project. To my chaser project. To my chaser project. To my chaser project. To my chaser project. To my chaser project. To my chaser project. To my chaser project. To my chaser project. To my chaser project. To my chaser project. To my chaser project. To my chaser project. To my chaser project. To my chaser project. To my chaser project. To my chaser project. To my chaser project. To my chaser project. To my chaser project. To my chaser project. To my chaser project. To my chaser project. To my chaser project. To my chaser project. To my chaser project. To my chaser project. To my chaser don't know where I've put that. Oh, no, I would like to send a message to all these bastards that keep hacking myself. You know, let's put your skills to use. Please hack, Jack. Please hack into the missing Bitcoin accounts and do the right thing. Make up for what you've done. That would be a nice gesture. And Bitcoin's flying back.

So it would be good to get our hands on that. Look at that. Love of all the times. Now's the time. Love to get it back. Okay, Jack. How'd you go? Well, I have a note in my bag time. Love to get it back. Okay, Jack. How'd you go? Well, I have a note in my bag that I want to give to you.

I'm sorry, I squished it. I put my computer on it. I didn't mean to squish it up. This is a real year non-Jack post. Got it written on a library. It is for me, mum and dad. Lovely. It's in a plastic pocket.

That's why it seems like an old school project. So it doesn't get destroyed on my way to school. Is this your budget way of laminating it? I don't have laminator at my disposal. Okay, to whom I'm making soon? Then it says, Demis to Blake and Mr Lee. So we're the old people it concerns.

Maybe using an old template. Do your mom and dad have to do these letters a lot? Over some of Jack has been spending much of his time helping his elderly neighbor with chores around her house. He has also had his young cousins in town and he has been taking them out for ice cream into the movies. I see what this is going, Jack.

With his increased extra curricular load, Jack has been unable to complete his assigned bit corn homework. We request that you allow Jack a three-month extension Jesus. There's a lot of you. You were turning into a mini-havish. You've come back with the dumb beard.

What was my beard up? Did you possibly get on to you from time to time? Damn, I'm recognised game. I think that seems fair. I think she's fair. Thank you. I'm just finished to post, Tony's big opener to when we finished the year. How did you select the date? And I got hacked. Where's the sympathy?

Okay. We request that you allow Jack a three-month extension to find the Bitcoin password and return and he's Bitcoin. We were spoken to Jack about reducing his extra crew characteristics over the next three months, so you can probably focus on retrieving the Bitcoin password. Good boy. Thank you for understanding Jill and John Post. And both their signatures look very similar.

LAUGHTER But their signatures are in different pens. That's what I'm saying. You must have got mum as she was going to work and got you dad at a different day. And that shows a lot of seriousness that you took this like everyone in the family took this letter seriously. Is that correct? Yes, that's what happened.

It sounds to me Jack Blake you made best endeavors over summer. Thank you. And it sounds to me like the really the only thing that got in way were good deeds. Who will we to say that Andy's favour he would have asked you wasn't to perform a good deed anyway? So maybe the question is Andy has Jack already done the favour, will you going to ask him to do a good deed? You can have two months. I think three sounds about right.

Well I think zero sounds about right. Because he's made up a letter and he's made up a fake letter. Why? Don't give him a thumbs up when he. Two month, thanks Dan to Jack. Let's call it 10 weeks. Gentlemen's agreement. A gentleman's 10 by and Jack in 10 weeks. By show nine.

You better have. That's been quite a password. By show nine. By show nine, you better have that password out. I'm an Andy side of you too. I'm not, or a bloody good reason while we give you another extension. I understand and I accept.

Thank you. And of course we enjoy the short break over Christmas. Yes. Time to shake it out. Yep. Walk around a little bit and get straight back into podcasting. But even though we were relaxing, it was a quarter of a year we took off. Yeah well you know you got to just put all your clothes away. We put my back out with shook hands. I'm actually getting some naps into just sort of rejuvenate from the shaking it out. But it's all shook out now. And we're back. And a lot of the tension's gone. Yeah. But let's retense you with some things that upset you.

Right. F***ing. F***ing. Everything is neat and practical, because that's the way he likes it. But what if it wasn't? Upset Andy. A lot of people are funny, a lot of things that could potentially upset you, like things that you wouldn't visit on the Lego Masters set.

Yes, at the end of last year we were shooting Lego Masters. Went to the the brick pit. I did notice, I did tell you that I think the brick pit would appeal to you in the way that it's all obviously each part, each Lego element is put in the same spot. However, you did come and visit mid challenge. Yes, and some pieces had dropped into other buckets, Jay.

And he was wondering. Just in my spare time, he could eliminate some of the messy contestants, maybe get him off the show for crimes against the brick pit. We haven't. I don't think it'll be in the season, but I'm curious you've got idea of that. Yeah, three million pieces. We'll pat a keg in there for you, because there could either be three million Lego pieces of wonderfulness. Yes, or

Furiating and only takes one for it to be a few eight Living as an Andy. Did you steal any Andy? I did you have me too and then haem said that I could actually make myself and take it home with me So then I felt bad about the guy I shoved him up about the guy I shoved him up. Before he said that, I mean, there's, I reckon I've stolen close to 5,000 pieces of Lego. And it's just a, just sort of accepted as a given that that's what I do. It's like Scotty Cam walking off the block

every day with a McEda drill. I just go, that's what I do, guys. All right, here's the thing, here's the thing, so I'll set you all the way from Sweden. We've got, is it nils or nils? Oh, I probably nils. Nils, how are you? Yes, nils.

I am fine. How are you? Very good. Nils, where about in Sweden? I'm a Stockholm. Ah, cracking spot. Yes. Nils, oh, hi.

Welcome. Welcome to our Swedish listeners. Nils, do you have something to upset Andy? Yeah, I do. You know, in the summer, you like to put ice cubes in a drink. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't always prepare the ice cubes. So I just find the next best pros and think from my fridge. Sometimes I'm not for us, I'm vegetable and sometimes like bread. and sometimes like the bread. So, Nils, if you were making an apparel Spritz for Andy,

instead of 10 cubes of ice, you might just have a French stick or like a carrot, a frozen carrot in the drink. Yeah, as long as it doesn't have too much flavour. Yes, I mean the laws of the laws of heat exchange apply. Yes. The cold thing sucks the heat out of the drink. Thank you, Nils.

I mean, that works. That upset me. I would not say. I would not say. I would not say, I would not say, I would not say, I would not say,

I would not say, I would not say, I would not say, I would not say, I would not say, I would not say, I would not say, I would not say, I would not say, I would not say, I no, no, you're not going to the effort of these ice cubes. So I've got a perfectly good carrot.

Adam, the hoi-ta-hoi, do you? Hey, you got on, Jen. Very good, Adam. Have you got something that upset Sandy? Possibly. Every Thursday, I listen to the podcast on the way into work, but the podcast is about 10, 5 to 10 minutes longer than my trip. So you've got a little 5-10 minute,

just put in your back pocket, don't worry about it, and listen to a freshy next Thursday. Oh, no. Don't you listen to the end? Well, over four or five weeks, you get a little non-chronological snack pack, a little bite of it. LAUGHTER

Well, NCSP. It's the best way to consume the leftovers. And I assume we'd be throwing in that snack back along with other podcasts. Oh, no, I'm not suggest you go. No, that's all right. So it's just a, how you can inject pickups somewhere towards the end of every show. Yeah, I mean, you don't want to be changing podcasts, mid-com, do that's not very safe. So just set it up and go away you go. Oh and your player like just bangs through all the remainders? Yeah it remembers where you are so if I go back it'll just go bang bang bang. Oh thank you for me snack packs but I don't make some episodes a bit confusing when you're talking

about I don't know I think you met the guy with the chicken shop. Yeah yeah such a your local one yeah such a yeah he was in the your local one. Yeah, such a, yeah. He was in the end of one episode. So I was a bit lost one episode, but it doesn't matter fast and low. Yeah, consumption is consumption. Who says? You have to do it in order.

It's not the recommended dosage. It's from my standpoint, I'd never do it. But thanks, Ed. Mythra. Mythra, do you have something to upset Andy? I do. My gas drops in my car boot stop working. So I couldn't really open it. What?

I kept tapping it up. Hang on. So what's in your car boot stop working? The gas drops. Do you know that helps your boot open? Oh, it makes a boot goaps. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, exactly.

So I just decided to put a piece of wood in my boot. So I just prop that up whenever I have to use it. That's fine. No, it's fine, isn't it? Would prop, would pro actually look like a Bertram. I mixed on this one because that is a good solution. It is a good solution. But will you ever get it fixed, Mithra? Ah, highly doubtful. Yeah, you don't need to. Take it for a service and then stay. Yeah, I'm going to tell you about it. Sounds pricey to me. I would say that the system you've got is working fine. So why would you? That's the thing with a lot of car companies will tell you not to replace their components with wood, but a lot of the time it will work. No, I feel like it's fast and loose. I feel like it's fun. It is fast and loose. Yeah, okay. Well, yeah, not for me. I think, look, I understand,

I would do it if you were misuseddan, what would you be saying to her? Well, if I was Mr. Asdan, I'd have a look at myself. And then if we couldn't get it fixed, just the two of us, next service, yeah, I'd get them to have a little look at it. Mr. Asdan, come over here, Uncle Haynes, this house. I'll buy you a brand new piece of wood. That's it.

I will, let's finish this up. Will, have you got something to upset Andy? Yeah, just quick and gruff for home on the H. Bigger penis. No, no. No, next is the general will. Try not. We don't mention the superior hands. Obviously, something I'm trying to put behind me. We've never been able to imagine.

As you can imagine, a very difficult thing for me to put behind my side. But I do appreciate a lot of that. I don't think it's going to be a big deal. It's a pure blatter. It's an SP. Look, I just want us to stop doing a full stop, and I'm on your side. The host.

I've got a small one as well, Andy. I want us to not, I obviously don't want to be known for this, but as bonnet yourself we'll fax the fax and so appreciate you thanks and we'll move on. That's not a fax though. Well what's your out of what have you got to upset Andy? So it's breakfast being so in the morning I usually have you know get them bananas but I can't I don't have time to get the knife out and chopping board out, chop up the bananas. I'll just peel back the banana, bite off chunks of it and spit it into the oven. Why great cool, why would you look around the kitchen for a knife when Mother Nature gave you 35 or whatever in your head.

You got them in your head. You got them in your head. I'm fine happy to hear that. I'm so happy to hear that. I'm so happy to hear that. I'm so happy to hear that. I'm so happy to hear that. I'm so happy to hear that. I'm so happy to hear that. I'm so happy to hear that. I'm so happy to hear that. I'm so happy to hear that.

I'm so happy to hear that. I'm so happy to hear that. I'm so happy to hear that. I'm so happy to hear that. I'm so happy to hear that. I'm so happy to hear that. I'm so happy to hear that. I'm so happy to hear that.

I'm so happy to hear that. I'm so happy to hear that. I'm so happy to hear that. I'm so happy to hear that. I'm so happy to hear that. I'm so happy to hear that. I'm so happy to hear that. I'm so happy to hear that. I'm so happy to hear that. I'm so happy to hear of cricket through the East and suburbs of Melbourne. When we were there my mum and dad came along and there's always a hymn at those type of services. Sure. I can't believe it yet. Mum, I think put in the worst performance I've ever

had anyone. And you mentioned this the day after Jack. He thought it was a stinker. I've ever heard anyone sing the hymn. I understand people don't know the tunes of all hymns. Like, well, I mean, you know most of them are in the National Boys' choir back in the cluster. They still are filed away. And, man, of the world, Jack. And, Mike, you got a scholarship for singing carols as well. So, yeah, I have a 50% choir scholarship

to my house. And he was the choir captain. So, we know. You've got him. You he was the choir captain in his school. So we know. You've got him back, you've got your friends. There's none there. But not all, like I never went to church. So I don't know the church ones, but you know the big hits. The big hits, yes.

Like, well, you know. Well, why does it need I name them? There's such a big hit. Well, I never knew the names there, and it shows how ingrained they are because this one started, not like I would remember this from school. They were such assemblies.

And normally, if you didn't know the tune in these situations, you sit back for a verse. We had the program, mum knew there was five verses, but she decided to go out all blazers and go, I'm flopskicking, obviously, no, no, in the choraster whale. From the very first verse, I'm like, mum, sit back, listen to our guys for a bit,

and then join in, but obviously not. She was waiting for the priest to drop the treble. And then and put the point the mic to the crowd and that's the B-E-L-L. So anyway, I thought we could have some fun with, I'd like to have an ask her about it. I kept it between us because I thought it'd be fun for us to call her on the podcast. But I thought maybe before that mic, we could try this. She's pretty savvy to us pranking her after all these calls. She's cast.

Yeah. Try and ring, it was at the Wattl Park Shalai. This particular service, they held a lot of services. Shalai. Is it? Wattl Park's quite an inner Melbourne suburb, isn't it? Yeah. It's in a big park though.

Wattl Park is a huge. There's a Shalai and a not a ski field setting. They've done it. They, it's in a big park though. What a park is it? You have a shallow in a nodda ski field setting. They've done it. I've done it, I don't know. I've just never heard of a suburban shallow. It's a city of suburban shallow anyway. That's a little chance, isn't it? It's on your way.

Yeah. Drop pass the shallow. It'd be a good move, wouldn't it? I'll spend some time at the shallow before we... It's actually what you could get. Well, family's visiting from other countries, going, oh, it's since wonderful, shell A in Melbourne. And, anyway, is that the water park, shall I?

If you could cause, is if you're from there, and there's a coral group that maybe meets their first day nights, and you scout it out. And just go, we'd think you'd be perfect for the group. Is she get to that part? Do we go to Mike, are the standing nearby? And the lady on a lady was standing nearby and then suggested you'd be perfect.

You know what I'm like that. Okay, great. You got Bill there? And the aim here to get Mark to sing the thing, I mean, if it gets that far, but if you can, can you just say, give us, give us, give us, give us, give us the here a bit of it.

Here a bit of any, hunt him yeah go for it I'll do my best okay good luck okay thanks hello hi I'm sorry I was actually looking for Margaret Lee but that doesn't sound like a Margaret no no oh she's sitting beside me I'll just put it put you on oh okay thank you No, no, no, no. Oh, she's sitting beside me. I'll just put it, put you on. Oh, okay. Thank you. Hello. Hi, is that Margaret Lee? Yes. Hi there, Margaret. My name's Darren. I, sorry, sorry to bother you. I actually got your number through the ball when cricket club after a service you attended last week at the Waddle Park Shallay. Oh, yes, yes, yes. Yeah, it's great to speak to you. Was that the first time you have been to the Wattle Park Shallay? No, we've been before to another funeral.

OK, well, I actually work there and look, I know this is maybe a little bit weird, but one of the ladies that was at the service was actually sitting quite close to you. And look, I sort of look after a little choral group that we have going on at the Shalai group. And she just said that you had the most incredible voice. Now I don't. Excuse me, I would have the worst voice. I was the only child who was told at primary school not to just sing in the choir and to just mime. Really? Because yeah, my colleague, Jeanette, said she heard you singing and she just thought you were incredible. And yeah, I just wanted to get in touch with you to see if you wanted to

have a little audition over the phone for our choral group over at the show. No, no, no, no. And thank you very much. Look, I have on good authority that you had an incredible singing voice on the day. You did joke. Ah! Thank you. Did you rock? Did you rock the person?

Another day. Another talent scout trying to get you in their choir march. Mum, I thought you were one of the worst I've ever heard the other day. Exactly. I just, and he was blown away, Mark. And he must have heard you sing a lot of times, but he couldn't wait to tell me how almost at every turn you, you, you, volume too early, too off-key,

no inaccurate lyric selection selection every category he was giving you an F in oh gosh you know I am down at the cafe it's the George's at poor Antonio by lovely cafe man it's just had a whole listen on you me starting that I know no way no would I ever be you would be chosen to sing and I'm just quickly then, I know you're in gut Antonio. I don't know how to answer you. You're at the cafe, but just quickly, mum. You didn't know the tune, did you?

Yes, I knew the tune. Right, OK. I thought you'd deliberately sabotage again. I thought you'd do a prank of your own. For your own podcast. I thought you didn't know the tune and for you just having a go and I was going to recommend you. I can't be that many notes.

You've got to get the right one eventually. I was going to recommend you. You can always see the verse out. Yeah. And then learn the tune and then go for it. Like what they told you in probably some. But you think you were just, you knew the tune. You were so unguised.

Not yet. Incidentally, Mark, I wasn't there. What was the tune? I can't remember the music. Well, man, you have to remember something to remember. I don't think you let was ever in that brave. The evidence was Dad knew it. I knew it. The rest of the congregation knew it.

You didn't know it. That was... Is it possible that you all knew the wrong one? And I had it right. Excuse me, I think I didn't know it. I just can't see. That's okay. Love you so much.

I'm sorry, because that recording now, because you're on it. Obviously, it's in, but I love you. Love you so much. I'm not sure if the product is because that recording now because you're on it. Obviously, obviously it's in your head correctly. Yes, can't get it out. It's gotta be annoying. Thank you. Thank you for taking your call. Oh, that's a pleasure. I'm actually not really.

Bye, bye, bye. Bye, bye. Bye. And one thing that's obviously going to be making return this to the podcast is what's our unofficial mission, which is to find the worlds, most skillful people in niche areas that haven't received enough skill attention. Yeah, the accolades they deserve for really being amazing is something very specific. Now, we've been going for a few years, so the bar keeps getting raised higher.

And we sort of talked about this casually over a beer over Christmas, didn't we? And we mentioned it the other morning at breakfast when that guy tied the dog. Remember? Yeah, this guy. Guy tied a dog to our table. Yeah.

And then he was sitting outside having brekkie at this cafe and a guy tied a dog to our table. What was wrong with his table? He was tied up and he went inside. He was going inside. And we went, I guess we've got a dog now. And then some girls were walking past going, how cute the dog. And then we said, I'll look to yours. We're a bit sick of it. If you can have him. Hey, we were talking about it that breakfast. Anyway, he came back out as well.

No, we didn't give the dog away. We didn't give the dog away. It's an interesting sidebar from that breakfast. But we were saying, we've had a lot of great special skills. But things like just, I've got a great memory or any stuff that falls into that category. We've kind of seen it. So you need to start, we need to, we've got to see, I'm very good at remembering a TV show. Probably out. Sure.

We're not probably going to go back to that world. We've had the best and God knows we've had the worst. And the seasons go. And then two and a half men go. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, it was two and a half men got. Yeah, yeah, yeah, both Jack. I mean, it was two and a half men got worse. He was worse. Well, oh no.

I didn't see the guy that we had in gold work from the Simpsons. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We did have this discussion. Anyway, both very bad. We're more interested in the very good end of things, obviously. Ben got my attention, and then, right, then has got my attention here because it's a skill that I guess we've all tried once in our life. It's sort of a thing people do.

You're either the person that does this or you just know you can't. But I guess for the elite amongst us, they try and do it often. And then for the very elite like Ben, they do it every time. Well, he says, I can throw any bed sheet in the air and land it perfectly first shot when making a bed.

Ranging from dooners to the thin light weight sheets. I have perfected the art of bed making. So how do you call me? This is where I, this is slightly contentious. They call me the one-throw wonder or Ben the bed whisperer. He joins us now, Ben. A hoi. A hoi boy Tauaiya. A very good. Oh, hi boys. How are you? Very good. It's nice to have you on. I can't believe it's the Ben, the Ben whisperer. When you say they call me, who are they?

When I say they, I guess the small amount of people who are actually lucky enough to witness me in action. Whether that's my partner or my house mate. And occasionally my parents, if they call me over to make their bed, it'd be a lot better. Wow. How's that happen Ben? Have they gone look? We've got some sheets. We can't figure it out. We'd like to see the bed whisperer in action.

I'm all about, you know, fast and loose, Hamers. I'm all that efficiency. I like making beds just like the guy next to me and the guy next to him. No one like making the bed. So I thought, if I could perfect this art and make the bed as fast as possible, would the least amount of moves than I would have won in life? So that's what I've done. Ben, are you tacking in the corners of their hospital corners? I just want to know what you mean by feeling them on. Let's get one burning question out of the way.

Can we first? Because it's all I can think about. I'm sure there's a lot of listeners listening. Fitted sheets. Fitted sheets. You can't throw a fitted sheet on a mattress. No, fitted sheet. Look, I'm not a magician. I can't work with a mattress. No one was expecting you to. Just in case you figured out a way. That would be a match. No. Fair enough. So they want to come to the

so you're putting down a top sheet? That's right. I'm putting down a top sheet. So look, the usual spiel is that ranges from your thin sheets to your medium sheets to your dooners. And for me, the easiest one is always going to be the dooners. The way that the sheets, the size of the sheet, is a big factor when it comes to this kind of stuff. I'm fascinated, yeah, having come out of a, at times, hot summer, the thin sheet, that, but not having it below or getting a cornerfold back or getting a corner tucked under you saying

But you Parachute it out every time and it lands with no rollback no foldback anywhere That's right. That's right. I look up good. I've got a two-step technique When it comes to it. I go for heights. I'm a fairly tall guy myself. I'm about 6'4", 6'5", I've got long long arms So that works for my favor So my first move is to go up high and kind of throw it out. The next move is to actually pull it back. And when you pull it back, the underside of the sheet

clicks out in this perfect motion, like a width. It's almost like poetry. And when it lands, I mean, you have to suit yourself. I've been practicing. I've been living here for years now. I live in Brisbane. That's where the flight though, I reckon. Where do you be interested in boarding the absolute cheapest and usually most in convening flight?

To Melbourne. Very, very short amount of time on the ground. Transversely included. You're selling it to me really well. Yeah, look, I've been more than happy to do that. I've put, so, can I make this clear? So then it's then perfectly in the middle, it flaps perfectly on both sides. Equidistant. Like so, I think one Andy wants to know is the dangle on each side. Let's say, if it goes down below the mattress, that, like I said,

it's 10 centimeters on one side, is it 10 centimeters on the other side? Yes, look, that's always the end goal. and that's the thing that I feel like I was trying to work at. How would you judge this? Well, I think the beginnings of it here, I think what we do is you put a shade on, and obviously, how many times you have to do it in a row as we'll talk about in a sec. But if we're measuring from the top of the mattress down to the bottom of the shape on one side, it needs to match on the other side or be within

Three centimeters a reckon because that's that's what I'm I'm fine with I know that sounds crazy here Three centimeters the process would be if this was an Olympic sport the throw is up. Yeah, the sheet is in the air Yeah, and you obviously got grip. You know turn hands on it Then there's the landing. Yes. If you landed flat with no foldback or crinkles, that's considered a proper landing. Yes. If a foldback or crinkle you're out.

Yes. But if you land it flat, we then measure each side and if we're within three centimeters of each other, that's a clean lay. Yes. How many clean lays in a row, and out of five does he need to hit? One. I reckon one, I only knew I want to give him one go. I don't, I don't want out of five.

I just want one go. Sorry. That was me falling off my chair. Literally standing myself and I hit the bell. I he, he goes one, he goes one go. If he nails it, actually, I'll do it this, do it this way. He can get a eight coin coin. If he goes the the the sheet then the

doona in succession. And then we'll give you two guys at the sheet and the doona and that but you have to complete the task with the doona after it because the doona is pretty easy. And if you get if you get the second of the how you can have an actual coin or one coin coin. So if he misses the he misses the sheet, he's still playing for a one coin coin. Yes. But if he gets by playing for a night. The only question on my mind is, are you two going to be laying in the bed when I'm making it? No, no way. No way. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. This is a flat lay. Yep. All right. That's very nice. Queen. You don't do a live to you're not tucking people in. You're not the tucking in mask Queen or King One throw one

Queen I'm used to a queen yep. We'll have one of those organized Yep, I We're doing sheach We will organize the queen we're doing do do you sheep? the Queen, we're doing Duna, we're doing Sheet. I've got a European 80s kind of, I've got a circular bed and obviously pretty hard to try a lot of pells on it, so.

All right, Ben, we will see you at your earliest convenience. Probably. Cheers, bud. This is big. First of all, I'm excited. I'm ready. Okay, thank you, mate. Hey, I'm first show back for the year.

And for those new to the podcast, we obviously recommend going back to app one. A lot of people don't. We got a lot of chat from people over there summer going, can't you do it? Just started going, we're gonna punch people, we're gonna go backwards, like 80, 70, 90, 30, eight,

like just go, I've started now, so this is the way I can do it. Do go back to one. I mean, I'll go back to 20. Like let's be honest, probably took us 20 to find our feet. Like when you recommend the US office to someone, you always go start at season two, don't really worry about season one.

Then when you love it, go back and enjoy season one. Because you'll forgive them. One thing we do do is we're looking for the definitive list of power moves, these are small things, we'll give you the upper hand in every day life. It's time to do that now. [♪ offbeat music playing, rock music playing, rock music playing, rock music playing, rock music playing, rock music playing, rock music playing, rock music playing, rock music playing, rock music playing, rock music playing, rock music playing, rock music playing, rock music playing, rock music playing, rock music playing, rock music playing, rock music playing, rock music playing, rock music playing, rock music playing, rock music playing, rock music playing, rock music playing, rock music playing, rock music playing, rock music playing, rock music playing, rock music playing, rock music playing, rock music playing, rock music playing, rock music playing, rock music playing, rock music playing, rock music playing, rock music playing, rock music playing, rock music playing, rock music playing, rock music playing, rock music playing, rock music playing, rock music playing, rock music playing, rock music playing, rock music playing, rock music playing, rock music playing, rock music playing, rock music playing, rock music playing, rock music playing, rock music playing, rock music playing, rock music playing, rock music playing, rock music playing, rock music playing, rock music playing, rock music playing, rock music playing, rock music playing, rock music playing, rock music playing, rock music playing, rock music playing, rock music playing, rock music playing, rock music playing, rock music playing, rock music playing, rock music playing, rock music playing, rock music playing, rock music playing, rock music playing, rock music playing, rock music playing, rock music playing, rock music playing, rock music playing, music playing, rock music playing, rock music playing, rock music playing, rock music playing, rock music playing, rock music playing, rock music playing, rock music playing, rock music playing, rock music playing, rock music playing, rock music playing, rock music playing, rock music playing, rock music playing, rock music playing, rock music playing, rock music playing, rock music playing, He said he said fresh off Valentine's Day. So he must have Must have just done it and then gone this works. It's what field tested He said if you're on your own approach a couple Walk up to them and go so who the hell is this and then walk off that'll guarantee

They'll have an argument later on the day. That's good. It's a nice one Singles out there and over It's a nice one, per. Singles out there to know that cracks. Cracks can appear in even the sweetest of love stories. Great urine cracks. Obviously an arsehole move. But here's another arsehole power play. This is from Jeremy.

Jeremy, he works in a prison. Oh. He's a prison guard. Do you? Yeah, start a big. You need a power, it's not a bad power in this way. He says, if you found a prisoner that's got a shank, replace it with a banana. This way when they go to stab something.

There'll be so annoyed because the banana can't penetrate the torso, the way they're shank could have. They will then look like a fool. That will get you. And then they will really have egg on their face with banana on their hands. So that's a good one. Here's another one. Here's the exact one. Working in a prison, when something doesn't go a prisoner's

way, they can become quite angry. Which is often followed by some type of verbal abuse. Does sound like you get that a bit as a guard? Yes. I memorize which prisoners have pissed me off. And the next time they leave the unit to go outside, I sneak into their cell and set their alarm clock to go off at 5 a.m. The time that's the time my alarm goes off to get ready for work. The next morning when I get up for work, I start my day by having a little chuckle to myself, knowing that they're scrambling around the dark, looking for the alarm clock to stop. And then as he goes, when I get to work and I see the person asking if they've had a good night's sleep to give them a subtle hint that yes, it was me. I didn't know.

The prisoners would have alarm clocks. I guess you can. I mean, you can have all the toasts and stuff. I'm just going off our engines and you'd like here. Yeah, I know, but I assumed, like, isn't there all lights up kind of moment? Because there were lights out kind of moments. You could have a, I mean, it'd be, you are living in a confined space, I think. It's sort of like a hostile with a few more rules.

But I think, so you wouldn't be popular if you were waking up at 4 to do push-ups before the... Are you allowed to lie in? The gang, no, I think you think it's a bit of a strict up and out of them. So you can... Well, we're going to get up earlier. Just come lay in. If you can't...

If you can't fit everything you need to do during the day between whatever it is, like seven to ten, which is, you know, if you can't fit everything you need to do during the day between whatever it is, like seven to 10, which is, you know, then you gotta, you can hop up early and get ahead of things. Yeah. Hey Mark Thompson writes this, when talking to someone new that you wanna impress, you can't think of the word you might wanna say,

which happens. Don't say, God, I can't think of the word. Say, I can't think of the word. Say, I can't think of the word in English. So... That's what it means. It gives you the impressive look that you're bilingual. And you'll crick it one. And you'll appreciate this.

In the game of cricket, our team was feeling... Er, feeling. I was bowling and I'm bold the batsman out. It would be. This could actually work with a few of the batsmen. This works better for you the baller. So you'm bold the batsman out. This could actually work with a few of the batsman, this works better for you to bowl. So you've bold the batsman out, you're already on a high, you wouldn't think you'd need a power move at this moment, but the smart people amongst us, and so this comes in

from Chris Barclay. Yeah. Don't miss an opportunity to exert even more power. Yeah. I looked at the square leg umpire who was an opposing team's player who hadn't batted yet, pointed to the stumps and yelled, fix those stumps. He had no choice to fix them.

Really like that. Rory Malcolm, he writes, an ingenious poem of here. Whatever someone asks for toast. Okay, if they say, yeah. And this is a great subcategory. Yeah. Given the end slices, doesn't matter how much for the loaf you have left.

It's a massive slap in the face. But add all the condiments side up. So when you give it to them, doesn't look like it's the end of the course. And then when they bite into it, they're real. No, it's just been a tougher than the flot that I had expected. Yes, and it's good. And a real quick one here from Anton. Thank you, Anton.

We'll express in an office environment. When somebody's on a phone call and looks really focused. Thank you, Anton. We're expressing an office environment. When somebody's on a phone call and looks of really focused on the topic, hand them an object, any object. They will always take it, but won't understand why. They now hold this object, simply walk away with an explanation, leaving them confused and rattled. LAUGHTER

Very great. Thanks for listening. The Hamish Nandy podcast will return next week. Catch up or contribute at hamishanandie.com.