Hamish & Andy - Hamish & Andy 2021 Ep 145
Episode Date: August 18, 20211. Riches For All 2. When Siri interrupts Vance Joy 3. Tell Us Someone We Haven’t Thought Of In A While 4. He Knows the Book – special skill 5. T-shirt general enquiry&...nbsp;
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A list-knife production.
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Cause the Haymission and the Podcast starts in 3, 2.
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1.
Oh, what do you have?
Hi, mate.
I still get the excitement with the countdown, the three, two, one.
I don't know, we get to hear it every week and I know we invented the countdown, so I should be...
I get a bit of...
I get a bit of...
Here we go!
I don't know what I'll have on the show today!
And then I go hang you, is it?
You're one of them!
Yeah, it's up to you!
I'll hold you, Jacko!
I'll hold you guys! I'll hold you! Oh, how do you, Jacko? Oh, boy, guys.
How's the bead boy alliance going?
Strong.
Is it?
Yeah.
You're pretty good.
Yeah, we've been...
This one at the check.
I feel like we've actually had a pretty good week in with Jacko.
Off.
Like, you know, it's not a trick.
We're all alliance together.
You don't look at me like that, Jacko.
But, you know, we've had a few jacks out there. Oh, we a chatterech on the phone. Which is not.
That's what you're doing in the lives, mate.
Are you complaining?
This is work for me.
This is actually the thing that worked for me.
It's just a new little jack.
Andy's trying to throw a razor amongst the beard boys here.
Make one of our beards fall off.
Keep it strong.
Deep, our lion's friends deep is our follicles.
Good, good.
Which is a slightly past skin deep.
That's what you're doing in the lives, mate. You're complaining? This is work for me. the beard boys here to make one of our beans fall off. Keep it strong. Deep, our
lion's friends deep is our follicles. Good, good. Which is a slightly
past skin deep.
A hoi also to Leigh Ham. Hello hey machine Andy. My name is Leigh Ham. I'm 12 years
up. I'm currently on a road trip with my dad. I've been listening to your
podcast for the last eight hours.
I'm starting to get a little bit annoyed by a voice, but my dad refuses to put anything else on.
We are currently up to episode 118, not too sure how many more episodes I have to put up with.
Anyway, happy birthday Andy. My dad says to tell HeyMesh congratulations on the SP, whatever that means.
It will probably take me another 8 hours of listening to your podcast
to try and work out how to upload this audio to you.
Alright then, bye!
Ponyo Reo!
You do sense of prepared statement?
I feel like a dad has sent, alright if you read this, we can listen to some songs that
you would like to listen to.
Very well done, lad.
Lovely, lovely stuff.
You wanted the reins.
I asked for the floor for the first little bit.
You might notice I'm wearing the Lost Touch of the Command here, should I guess.
Today, I have chosen the Lost Touch for a reason. In fact, I mean, I've got some, I've got some user discounts
where you live.
It's the demographic you live.
No, no.
I mean, it's, it'll make sense.
It'll make sense in a second.
It's shocking to see a blue collar boy like me.
Do this.
But it's, it has to be won.
It's for me, it's speaking of the demographic, it's probably got something to do. It does have something to do with it. Do this. But it has to be won.
It's for me, it's speaking of the demographic, it's probably got something to do, does
have something to do with where I live, and it's something I discovered during the week.
As I've mentioned, me and a few fellows are renovating my house at the moment, a house, me
and the boys.
And the builders employed.
Well, we're all on site doing different jobs.
You go once a week. I Roman nod. I Roman nod. I mean, I'm not a dog.
But me and Mark and Roe were looking at the mass-bedroom. They're taking the
taking the old cupboards out, the old water, which has been this since the 80s. So,
you know, common man and me, but gradually, but gradually,
allowed a slight refresh. That's really where we're gradually But gradually allowed a slight refresh that's really we're going for you a slight refresh
Yeah, just due to health and safety really You know your testos covers
Yeah, what it was very dusty so and you're purely out of care for the kids because you don't want to cover door falling on them
Very common man to care for your children's welfare. Yeah, you give the you give the wardrobe a slight refresh Anyway, they've taken off the carefully children's welfare. You give the wardrobe a slight refresh.
Anyway, they've taken off the old frame
of the wardrobes as they're kind of like denoing it.
In the wall, he's a safe.
Oh wow, that's a safe, it's the wall, that's a safe.
Oh my God, and I immediately bags it.
I would bags the safe.
Yes.
Not for the builders.
You were lucky you were there.
Well, that's, I mean, they're good guys.
I trust them, but I wasn't really bags in it
from the builders.
I'm bags in it from Zoe.
Yeah, because I thought it would be a fun thing to do.
I donate the safe to the show.
Oh, I mean, I have lost such a the common man because you know who has a safe in the house.
And it's the previous owner.
The previous owner, really.
It's the boss that John, where are you going?
On behalf of the pizza.
I think that was Pete.
Yes.
It's very common man to discover some true safe in the wall to do with it.
And, you know, and so hang on, let me get it straight.
It's I know, I mean, no one knows the code. Have they taken it out?
That's still sunk into the wall.
Right. So it's, it's there. It's in the wall.
And I said to them, like, can we, what are you reckon boys?
Should I get it out now or should you get it out?
Or, you know, because that's how we are in the building site, you divvy up the jobs.
You know, I'll work, should I work late or should I do?
Are you going to get a person to crack the safe?
Because that seems like fun.
Or we are going to sort it open.
Here's what I thought.
I mean, we've left, we've taken the Makita jump as off.
But I feel like we were pretty good to Makita.
Oh yeah.
I feel like we're still going to feel, I mean, not you, Jack,
you probably have an issue with your default sports shit. But don't we, do we ask Makita
for the best safe cracking tools, like an angle grinder or whatever and we just get maybe
Makita or his cells on, maybe they have a full safe cracking kit, I don't know. They might
have like a Jackhammer and a drill. It'll take a long time. We, we, we, we, right. Do we get
the builders to do it? Well, I mean, yeah, if that's all right with you.
Well, I mean, they're keen.
Everyone on the sides keen to see what's in the safe.
The other one, we will have to, I mean,
if you go off of bank robbery movies,
like we'll have to cut them in.
Like that's, you know,
I was sort of thinking the deal is very clear at the top.
Yeah, I mean, I'm thinking of three man's
we're at the moment.
Actually, you know, I mean, I'm thinking of three man sweat at the moment. Yeah.
Actually, you know, I'm happy to go complete for...
How big is it?
Eeeeeee...
What's that?
Sort of the size of a small shoebox.
Little box.
Little box.
Not big, big enough, two shoeboxes on top of each other.
Okay, that's great.
That could be jewels or anything.
That's, it's jewel, it's definitely jewel sized.
Yeah.
I mean, how big is gold bullion?
Not big enough for a few
miles of bullion. It just, it feels catchy. Doesn't feel like there'd be firearms in there,
which I think is good, but I don't think we want to get into fake identities. Could
be a few fake IDs in there for us boys. Yeah, it could be good. I mean, depending,
I hope the vaccine is roaring by Christmas and we can, you know, the Pacific bubble opens up again
for several reasons.
And you've got your big ask from Jack.
And you know, people might want to start venturing
around the Asia Pacific region.
If we need them, we've got fake IDs in the cupboard.
So are they going to take it out?
And then we, we, I wonder, I don't know.
It's got hinges on the front and then just like a dial on the front of the safe. So we could cut the
hinges off. What about, what about someone that has the, you know, they should come along?
Stethoscope. Stethoscope. And they set it up. And no, we could just melt through the front of the
door. But then you burn, you burn, it's easier in films, but it is, yeah, it's hard to
try. And yeah, I think we would want to go to get a lot of work. I think I'm thinking
of a scene from a film, but it's Star Wars and it's a lightsaber. Yeah. Yeah. What's the
thing is it one of the new ones, they put like a lightsaber through the door and yeah, yeah, the
The this I mean the whole point of saves are there very very safe so yeah
Just even the hinges would then only internal on a safe
Yeah, maybe it isn't
If you could just
If you can just grow up in the middle of the morning. It should be a certain experience.
It's pretty thing you're safe guys.
It's got a solid bolster in front.
And then like heaps of bubblegum sticking to the rims.
Let's get to the gauges.
Now, okay, let's get the safe out of the wall.
And then maybe we can offside it somewhere.
Love it.
Grind our way in.
And I think grindings the way to go. Yeah. Yeah. Are you thinking so just to be clear? And so we have it on the record again.
Yeah. It's the shows. Yeah. It's the shows. Well, I actually invented a note before
it. You got that jacket here. Should you should have it there? You ready? Be they me, be they small, it's riches for all.
Riches for all. Riches for all.
Riches for all. Open the safe.
It came to me as out of luck. It feels only right to share it with the team.
He is a moral question for us.
Yeah.
If there are riches inside there,
yes.
Is there any obligation?
Where do we stand legally to have to give it back
to the previous owners?
You bought it?
It's called as keepers, yeah.
You bought the hand.
It's called as keepers.
That's right, it's a shuttle.
We've never known what a shuttle is,
but I think it's a shuttle.
What is a shuttle?
Fiddings and fixtures like lights,
chamomile ears, curtains, safe contents.
You know, the dishwasher. Okay. Now You know, the Josh Vosha.
Okay.
Now, he is the other problem we have.
I think I'm happy with the Eric and we just don't look
into that any further.
Okay, yeah, let's do it.
Let's do it.
Jack, I think it's fine as Kevin.
It's fine as Kevin.
He's the other problem we have.
This is the start of a lot of different films where...
Yeah.
...there is a bad gang that has been looking for a certain amount of jewels that have been
hiding and then if it's in the paper of its broadcast, which was just done, they're
like, how are you feeling about it?
Are we going to get the safe off your property at some point?
So good.
Because then if they think it's...
Do you reckon we can get it bigger safe to keep the safe in until we've got time to crack it?
Yeah, but maybe knowing us will lose the combination
for that big.
Busca safes.
But my point is, you know, I just don't want crooks rocking
up thinking the safes there.
So we've definitely moved it.
Yeah, we have.
We have.
We absolutely have.
It's a pretty secure site. Yeah, but we'll get it. Yeah, we'll get it have. We absolutely have. It's already very, it's a pretty secure site.
Yeah.
But we'll get it out.
By the time this, by the time we put this in the podcast,
it's out.
That saves out.
That saves absolutely out.
Wouldn't it be amazing?
No, I don't think you don't want it.
You get excited when you think of it.
Oh, it's amazing.
It's just the final chapter of riches for all.
Wouldn't it be like, what are you guys hoping
is in there because?
Stamp collection. Yeah. Yeah is in there because stamp collection?
Yeah, yeah, you do love stamp collection. Shrubs and stamps for your secrets from your childhood.
I'm hoping for diamonds that that, you know, that I'd love that scene where we take out a little
felt bag. Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
Algo would have felt bagged. Yeah any anything in a felt back, and then
you've got it and we're watching you and you pour whatever the felt bag is. Yes,
into my hand and you don't know that I've pinched if you back in the back and then that becomes
where the rift occurs and then like when said, can I have a chip at school and then hold all the chips?
So you can come get the chips out of the bag.
Yes.
I mean, is this the start of the end of our friendship?
It could be the start of the end.
This could be a real Pandora's box.
It could be a literal Pandora's safe.
I hope that we open it up and it's the Bitcoin password.
That would be amazing.
Oh, wouldn't that be incredible?
I wish it were just, oh, I got it.
It's a 24.
Someone from the future.
That's 100% from the future, isn't that be incredible? I wish we just got a story. Oh, I got a story. It's a 24. Someone from the future. That's 100% from the future, isn't it?
Yeah.
Which would be a good story.
That's the dream, really.
That is the dream that we open the safe.
We've discovered time travel, and it's the Bitcoin pass,
where do I mean?
That's where my hopes are.
Happy to take half of my bag.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Happy to take a Ruby-side bag. I'm going to take a rebion of bag.
Hey, you mentioned last week that I've got back into exercise and running.
We love you out there.
We love seeing you out there.
We started talking about you pushing over our ladies and we talked about cricket and we
did mention that there was a,
an unfortunate incident where a lady had to surrender
rightly so.
The rail.
She was on the wrong side of the road for,
and she did the right thing.
Busted.
Busted.
Got her off the rail.
Then one side took the rail to sending the stairs.
We realized that she perhaps needed the rail more than I.
And sometimes people are allowed to drive on the wrong side ascending the stairs we realized that she perhaps needed the rail more than I and sometimes
People are allowed to drive on the wrong side of the road if they need the support of the rail
Well, bring it big as a question as well. There's what age do you get to we're having a fall is a dangerous thing? Yeah, well, I mean all ages I suppose
You know if Jack said to me. I had a fall. I'd go did you get up like yeah, I mean kids
It's been the whole the whole I'm falling over like if my dad says oh, yeah, mum had a fall. I'd go, did you get up? Like, yeah. I mean, kids, it's been the whole, you get the whole lot falling over my,
but like if my dad says, oh, yeah, mum had a fall,
I'm like, oh, yeah. So, yeah, my parents probably
in falling.
60 plus.
Seven. I think nudging 70s falls on.
I think it's just when your reflexes go.
Because I, I, I trip over a fair bit
and I always have the thing going,
jeep, I was 70. Yeah, that's it.
But I just got my foot out and we keep walking.
Back to the exercise.
Are you out running?
Yeah, I'm running.
Running again and I've been enjoying putting in the iPods and all the iPods as they call.
Two iPods, Jack, must be very nice.
The iPods have to marry you with your phones and Andy's gone and bought two iPods,
so he's got stereo sound.
Gaffer taping two iPhones to his head, putting it on the speaker.
Let them listen, heels.
The AirPods and going for a run, right?
AirPods Pro, I would assume.
Yes, must be nice.
Must be very nice.
I told you at the time, didn't I, Jack,
when I had normal AirPods and Andy sneered at me?
Yeah.
He did. He was very scrunched up. He knows when he saw the wrong shaped container. One thing that happens with him is if you've got it linked to you watch, it will read your
text messages.
Right, not aware of this.
I love.
Which, uh, you're a big fan of Siri for composing messages in the car.
Yep.
We've talked about that before where we get...
Similarly, I'm composed by Siri,
and the human doesn't have time for you.
When we waste some time on you,
but can muesil out of the traffic lights?
Dictator, but not really.
From Siri, take this down.
Yes, I enjoyed it on the airpods,
but I didn't realise it said sent from Siri
that you got you bought me unstuck on that.pods, but I didn't realize it said cent from Siri that you got
you bought me unstuck on that, but you're butlin signing them.
But it does it does ruin your flow.
I actually do know this when it reads the text message.
It reads it stops a song and ruins the flow, right?
And I put on Vance Joy's new song, which is a crack at it.
People have heard it all over the radio at the moment.
This is a little bit if you missed it.
Because when I'm in a room with you,
and missing pieces from...
Missing pieces of the song, crack up, crack up.
Yeah, Prince Joy's new one.
And it kept interrupting the song with my technicals for my mum.
And I was, Siri does read them out.
I get it for you because you're in my phone as AAAA Andy.
Still from back in our uni days where I needed you top of the phone book.
And I just never have done it.
You know, and so yeah, I get, I get Siri coming in doing her bits.
And I was going message from AAAAA Andy.
So that's what I was getting. It's fine normally because a one-off message. him doing her bit sometimes going message from a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a And it made me giggle as I was trying to listen to Vance Joy, a mum kept interrupting that Imagine Vance had to do this at his gigs live. If your mum kept yelling at you. If my mum kept asking him to give messages to me in the crowd. So I reached out to our
former frontman for cool boys from our Vance Joy. To play in a band with him.
And this is him performing how it would go down live if it was getting interrupted by my mom's messages?
I've been waiting for the time to change for the waves to send you my way
I see you darling from my hey darling one what time will you be over if it dinner looking for to sing you on bed
But you're fixin' it, it gets hard to take these things. But we're from none. Also, I'll have the Fiona of yours that I took home to claim for you to give back.
Paul the line, I want to go, cause I'll be there when you're from mom Fiona I can't finally make it on and I don't mind
Because we both know from mom Fiona
I will be fine when you can finally make it on
Because when I'm in a room with you
Let me see pieces from mom do no I meant to write do no
I was trying to write Doona,
but the silly phone keeps changing it.
From Mum, sorry about that seed tonight.
I'm not handy. Switch off the bloody reading of messages.
You did it well.
He's done it really well, I'll let you do it.
MUSIC
I am very excited to play this game again for Nulis as the podcast.
Welcome. Welcome. Welcome.
You might be doing the controversial sample one.
If it pleases thee, go back and eat the box, I'll have one of
these chocolates that's been picked up at an NQR. Doesn't have the flavor map on it. So if
this, this, okay, government fudge. Lucky for you. I like that. I'll eat the box.
I'll now go back to episode one. So maybe you are listening out of order and we hope
this is the episode that is convinced you to get back to episode one. We also acknowledge
that us talking this long may put your office put off. We also acknowledge that, um,
certainly not it's saying you must eat a whole box of chocolates if you don't enjoy
it. Um, hey, the forest can't lift out. Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're going to get unless you have the map.
Or...
That's true.
Or a friend next to you going, no, no, that's all right.
And also, you shouldn't stop when you hit a bit.
You don't like it.
You shouldn't throw the box away.
Yes.
Because there is certainly...
Other treats in there.
Certainly, value in pushing through and eating a different chocolate.
Hey, this game involves people contacting us and having put into us a person we may not
have thought of for a while, let's jump into it.
It's been a while since I've seen them.
I think we're going to have to overseas listen.
One of the big four banks in Australia and Z had a Falcon that we would lead to believe
was in charge of its credit card fraud.
It was a shall work.
Yeah, which upon reflection,re reflection silly from them.
It wouldn't entice me to listen mouse as your credit card.
I don't think the fel can's not interested, but the fel can would be de-hooded.
And I think the idea was we were meant to think it would sweep so fast down, a lot of
fel can speed credit card fraud.
So you could absolutely get credit card with hands in and not worry about
fraud. It's scary about fraud because they had the Falcon.
How are you playing for cats today? My question is, can we use Canada.
Our animals legal? I did. I'd break the rule.
No, love it. I can add more stats.
It's famous in our actors.
Oh, okay. Really quickly here as the way this works is you tell us someone, and if me and
Andy both haven't thought about them for the whole year.
Yep. According to our vibe, you will win a selection of hats, company send in hats.
It's always a risk sometimes they're promoted as good hats.
Sometimes not. Got the BPAT. That is hanging around like a turd.
No one was the BPAT. That's Navy.
It goes away too much. Stripes being.
It's all the classic promotional stuff and nothing in the fashion stags. We've got
textile systems Australia who clearly are an embroidering company. They've gone with the kind of
the flat brim snapback nice color nice color it's a great textiles in the Hamish and Andy blue we
appreciate that and the Hamish and Andy what but I think it's over embroidered if you ask me I think
they're trying to show Jack would you agree with that shame for them
It's actually tactile system. So they're not even getting their business day in red on the show
Sorry, I don't like
I couldn't see for the other side the desk tactile systems
I thought I stick at the back though all one size fits all. Yeah, I'm that
But I thought they were textile systems because there's so much embroidery you think they're in do you think they're an embroidering company?
So bad luck for you, tactile. Here's one.
Probably Jack bought this in himself. Mavis, peanut butter. Now we've talked about the error.
The problem Jack has with having too many peanut butter sponsors. I couldn't even honestly say if
they're one of your sponsors, Jack, a Mavis one of yours. I haven't really heard from Mavis in a
while. I've eaten through all the samples. gave me. What if they were one of the originals?
Yes, like,
were you, can you honestly say this is a good quality trucker hat?
No, it is a crumpled piece of mess.
Oh,
and that is the over-sale.
That's the guy you hide as you spoke to me.
But they do great peanut butter.
They don't do great hats.
So it's the only peanut butter you eat?
No, 99 monkeys, of course. No, it's our 99th monkey. 99th monkey.
It's world's worst bike person. I've been rounding it out another jack post classic. The
Baker's Delight all-corderoy hat. This is a bit of a hat. Easily. It hipsters would wear this
every week. Oh my god, where did you get your bankers the light?
legend hat all all the moron the moron bankers like flat peak all quarter
I don't know how many vouchers you need to buy that one if you would try to purchase it from bankers the light
But that is what's on off and let's get to these people we haven't heard of in a while Campbell
Oh, what do you tell us some of me have a thought of for a while?
John Howard the actor
We have sorry
Good a good pause for effect. Yeah for landing the not how
Of course from sea change. Yeah, yeah, the thing about John Howard the actor is are it get reminded of him when I see John Howard the X Prime Minister?
Right. I do make the correlation. So do you play a little trivia game and you head with yourself
when you go, yeah, there's John Howard the X Prime Minister. You know there's another John Howard.
That's what I do with myself. So yeah, I have thought about him Campbell. John Howard recently
on Telly was for Australia Talks. I guess the ABC Australia Talks program. Yes. So not the actor, but
think of the actor. That's how you are undone their cables. You weren't to know. Bad luck.
Oh, good. Sam, ahoy do you? Ahoy boys. Sam, tell us something we haven't thought
for a while. And the deep box phenomenon from Australia night all, Joel Turner.
Oh, that's good. Well done. Well done. no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Not recalling I got a big person to be out of bounds or ever caring or knowing that this person exists ever
But yeah, we had him on he beat box for us. We were impressed in the flesh
I very good. I guess with beatboxing though
the third or fourth album
Well, yeah, well, I think it's unfortunate because you they must admit so much of it's just the just the G. Wizies doing that just with these
Perfect and we can ask that because you're sounding like drums and stuff
We we can also go in here. Yeah, so really the only attraction you can't sound better than a drum a drum sounds the best
It's nothing to get out of a drum
So you know you can't ever be better than a drama.
You can just have more novelty than a drama.
And then once that does do into the tide, I also remember...
That's the thing about novelty.
It is in the flesh.
Beatboxes, they focus so hard and he's the best, obviously.
He takes it so seriously.
If you can picture it, it sounds quite an awkward moment.
Not awkward, but you're there with someone really intensely and sucking in and sucking in
Peter these neck
All sorts of things to his face. I wasn't ready. You just get that level of
Sanctuary. Yeah, that level of intensity. So you really feel like you're in a very intimate moment with someone.
Hey, I said, I mean, you've done great. Yeah, what had do you want? Yeah, I've got to go the day.
He's allowed. Yeah,
Yeah, what hat do you want? Yeah, I've got to go the deck is to let Yeah, it's not going to stay on the rack for long.
Executed game plan. Well, I know it's not part of the game, but just for the record,
I thought of Joel Turner this morning. Oh, no way. Yeah, wow. Wow. Why? Why? What a
I was going to use him as a joke on the breakfast right now. I should do with Chris
O'Connell, but I filtered myself because I thought, no, that is not somebody he will recognize the
thing.
Inside into the mind of a world-class psychic.
I want to be able to listen to that show, Jack, and think you're just having fun
and Jimmy where they do not understand the quality control.
The immemorials on the fact you, ripping off bad jokes before they make it to packaging.
If only our distribution system had the same level
of innovation.
If only you weren't so exhausted Jack,
by the time you get to action.
Well, don't, Jack, uh, Jack,
uh, what I said, okay, we're moving to Jeremy.
Jeremy, or, what do you?
A hoi boy, say, young.
Good. Tell us some of we haven't thought of for a while
Um emerald emel minty the
Carol kid from Mad Max too
Haven't but didn't couldn't honestly say I don't think I ever what hang on was it a boy? Yeah, Mad Max too
Oh hang on was this the kid do we try and track this guy down on the show once? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, and track this guy down on the show once? No, the girl kid.
We didn't try to track down the fell kid though.
No, someone wrote in and went,
I was the kid from Mad Max too.
Oh, that could be true.
Is that what you're basing this off Jeremy?
Yeah, I'm pretty sure you've had him on the show
or it was on something I was talking about.
It was a Peter out.
It was definitely a Peter out.
Yeah, well, it was.
Because he was sold in.
I think it's about a him
You could go to know what I'm a con or something all the thing. Oh, and get signed pictures for me
You know what it was I reckon someone wrote into the show
Yeah, and when this guy came into like office works or something with his they worked went
Can you make it you know a hundred copies of this photo?
And the guy goes you know, he was signing his headshots
I think this was the story and then the guy working working in office works, went, who are you?
The guy went, I'm from Mad Max.
Yeah.
The kid from Mad Max and he was getting some stuff
ready to sign.
So it's a real tough one because the name didn't ring a bell,
but the concept of the person rings a bell.
Yeah.
I'm willing to offer because it's like,
yes, haven't thought about that person all year.
Questionable if that name ever was in my mind.
Yeah, I'd never knew the name.
Would we be willing to offer just the BPAT?
Yep, you can take the BPAT if you want, Jeremy.
Oh, wait, I'll take it, yeah.
Yeah, you're actually surprising, you said that.
Actually, you'd be nice to get that off my hands.
That's a win-win for a product,
if you hand get it off.
I appreciate it, mate.
Well, I'm...
Let me wait a minute, we're going to get rid of it. Paul, a hoi to you.
A hoi.
Tell us some of when we have a thought of for a while.
I'm even thought of in a while hopefully,
is Jennifer Lawrence.
Oh no.
Sorry.
It started watching Civil Aligning's playbook the other night.
It started.
Are you serious?
Yeah, well, I mean, I've got a lot of time at home.
I was finished all entertainment ever made bold for you Paul because she's still up there
For one of those famous actresses in the world. She's so I think yeah, but I thought it's like it's been about two years until last
Once I thought maybe but yes
Yeah, well, I mean harsh harsh in your your Hollywood ranker, like two years, she stepped to TV.
Paul's movie studio that he runs.
Jennifer Lawrence is calling.
Oh, really?
From you for two years?
Yeah, not.
Like I'm saying.
Like Paul?
Right, I'm Paul.
Rebecca?
Yeah, it was good effort.
Rebecca, wrap this up for us.
Tell us some of the...
Oh, boy, boy.
I'm going to say Andy.
No, I'm going to say, no.
I'm going to say, no. I'm going to say Andy. No, not on your back.
Oh, I was you got.
Now this person's been out of the public consciousness for a few more than two years.
I'm going to take you back to 2001, 2003.
I'm a Ristof, the surprise chef.
Okay, it's good.
It's good.
I know who a Ristof.
He had a channel seven show where he wouldn't walk up to people in the supermarket and
go, what are you gotten? You're go, what are you going to do?
What are you going to ask it?
Having a party with them?
And they always had, if I remember correctly, quite a few staples and just enough trick ingredients.
Was never anyone just by your chewing gum.
Yeah.
Right.
And he would go back to their house, which also had seemed to have been cleaned up and,
you know, when the husband opened the door, he was marked up.
I might be being a bit rough on a Ristos there.
And then he would cook with whatever was in someone's basket.
Unfortunately, I have thought of a Ristos was used on me as a joke, Jack.
Recently.
Get out of town.
I'm sorry.
I do a bit of work for Food Bank in Victoria who do an amazing job, you know,
distributing food to a lot of charities and stuff, helping people eat. And we were going to do
an event before one of the lockdowns hit in at the warehouse, at the Food Bank warehouse in Victoria.
And the comparison was made by someone there when I said, where would we take some of these ingredients?
We could get a chef to come in and just cook with all the great food the food bank has.
And someone made the gag.
Oh, wait a second, is it this surprise chef?
Well, I'm just glad that other people are all
say thinking about a rest of.
Yeah, let's keep him out.
I'm shocked.
I'm shocked he was one of the new master chef judges.
Well done, Rebecca, bad luck.
Yeah.
It was certainly had an all clear from Andy.
Just sailed right through his ears.
Yeah.
Didn't touch a year on it, but unfortunately,
let me out like a Christmas tree.
No, no.
No, no.
OK.
Hey, we love our listeners, all of them.
We do.
But the very important podcast is those that go to
heinishanye.com, fill out the form.
Yeah, you have to list a special skill in there,
but there's other categories that you can fill out as well.
All the stuff you can tell us,
but special skills definitely seem to
peak out interest the most.
So it's the most fascinating part of the read,
although as long as we do use the VIP forms to go,
okay, well, we need a, you know, a diet rest or something.
Yes, scanning, scanning. Zero found.
Yeah.
A-hame, Dan wrote in, he said, under his special skill, can tell you how many pages are in a book,
plus or minus five without opening it just by looking at the general size.
We liked this because there's actually two skills at play here.
There's the age old out of estimation and there's also knowledge of paper thicknesses throughout
the ages, which is a super boring category you won't see on hardquests.
He'd be drawing upon both of those because as we as he I hope he knows,
you know, you see a book. Remember those gold and judge it by its cover? You have to see
judge it by its pages. Judges by its pages. But you remember like the very old reference
books that have like gold paint. Yeah, they are the, they're like one atom thing. And so
you could have a book that you would might think could be 300 pages, but it could in fact be 5,000.
Yeah.
Because it's just such thin pages.
So those are the skills that are on display today
as we're trying to win to this virtually
to have to zoom in even harder.
In the counterclimate, Dan, I'll hold you.
I'll wait.
Dan, you were aware that you were drawing upon both
those skills as Hamish just pointed out.
Or is that daunted you? No, I don't worry. I'm very aware that it requires both.
Yeah. Yeah. Do you know the science of the thickness of the page just
and if you studied up on it that much could you identify a page like Gramps' Square inch or?
No, it's not just like an intuitive thing. It's not like just something that I know,
sort of deep down in my bones, but I couldn't really articulate this sort of it. No. What's been your best guess? My best guess. The best
ones are always, I mean like there's always a bit of you know, do I go the whole moment, do I go
like 500, do I go 510? The best ones are where you take a gamble and you go 512, that's
exactly 512. That's always the best deal. Not around numbers. True, isn't it? Even if you go 512, that's always the best deal.
Not around numbers. True, isn't it? Even if you said 510 and it was 510, for some reason,
still getting exactly right on a non-even, non-real number.
Divisible by 5 number. It's still more exciting. I agree with that, Dan.
Dan, we've got three books here. What do you think, him?
Well, I think because we're giving him plus or minus five pages.
Three out of three. We do need three out of three because there's already in there's in built era.
I agree. If you're doing, you know, often this happens, we've set the rules on the
one. I've got a couple of template changes. I'm just going to say, Andy's got some sound
by books, Dan, at the judges' discretion, if you're close but not impressive enough,
we're going to go speed
round and end up just hold up and hold up quick succession to books and you just have to
say link reaction, you know, 5.62, 20. Are you ready to go, Dan?
Yeah, I'm ready, I'm ready.
Let's jump into it, good luck. I'm staying in the near-being beat at the moment so I've just ripped these from the bookcase.
This one is Girls and Boys a play to play.
Like Dennis Kelly.
You know it's going to be Finn wanted to play? It's a thinner boy. How you feeling about that? Yeah, it is quite a thin one.
It's going to be in a low end. Look, I'm going to say 120. 63. 63.
Geez. Those must be thin pages. Well, I think you're this year. Yeah, otherwise.
Girls and boys, we're doing thickies too.
Now doing thickies.
Okay, that certainly won't turn you the playoff books.
We're going to say, two crackers for you.
What we're going to say is there is merely a warm up.
Yes.
Yeah.
Because to be almost double the amount of is, you know, in the hammer throw, you throw
into the back fence.
You throw into your coach's head.
And he was bar.
He was bar.
Okay.
You dust yourself off.
You do call across the John, they have a quick look at the coach,
and you grab the hammer again, you try to put it out of your mind and you get ready to swing again.
Here's the new book, it's the letter for the king.
It's not by Tonkey Drug, do you?
You're reading that.
There's the thickness, because you can't see the type of page.
I would flick through for feel. Yeah, I, yeah. I would say similar to the last book
as maybe just slightly under. Okay, I think this is a page. I'm flicking it for Dan on Zoom.
Just this looking. I would say to it's it's pretty much the thickness the dimensions of a classic
John Grisham airport novel. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll say 490. Much better guess I think this time around.
It's exactly the dimensions of all car reading at the moment. All the light we cannot see,
great book. Pull it surprise, winner Jack. 516. So he's 16. Again, didn't hit the coach.
Didn't hit the coach. It's filled the hammer out into the field this time. But not your best, right?
My best, right.
So I mean, do you want one more for luck?
I mean, you don't win anything.
If you land it straight on, I suppose.
If you get this within one page,
and this is an older book here, and what is this?
This is Harper's Business Dictionary.
It's not.
It's Harrips.
That's all I have. Harrups. That's our...
Harrups, you never heard of.
But it's English French Business Dictionary.
It's an English French Business Dictionary.
So if you're opening up a big hit shop,
here, or we have a pie shop
in one of the on-discments of Paris.
There's you, I'm showing Dan the spine of the book now,
old a book though, back at it.
Yeah. You suspect a time where more Franco, Australia and business was booming.
From the golden era of French Australian business when this was needed.
It seems like a slightly thicker page than the Grisham like novel we just do.
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, it's a tough one.
I mean, the both of buzz. I see others were.
But I'm gonna say I'm gonna say 430. 430 is going around number? Knowing he needs to land it
within one age of the pin. Yes Andy just turning two page. Cut there. 100 and...
And...
Um...
212.
Yeah.
What?
That can't be right.
Hang on, hang on, hang on.
That's the French section.
Oh, hang on!
Oh, hang on!
It's...
And okay, we take it back.
So the English section, it's bridge, it's cut.
Oh, that's...
It's cutting out, but then what's the
middle bit? They've got a fold out bit for the section.
265 plus 212. So you're off. It was 436.
347. And you were off. But it's close. And I have a quick read of the phrase. I'm fascinated
to see what words. Oh, repurchase. That's that's one of the words in
the English. That's, no, that's, but then it gives you the French. Yeah, but I'm here. All right.
So you'd like to request if you're doing any business dealing, say if you've opened up a baguette shop
or a cross on shop and that end your first order went well. Yeah, I'd like to add a red man.
across on the shop and that is your first order went well. I'd like to add a red man more of that flour to make more of my baguette.
Dan sorry we've quickly moved on.
Dan we've invented a more fun game.
French business what we are going to send you out of token of no value means nothing to
us do with what you will Thank you for participating and hitting our
page.net.com.
Good on you, mate.
Thanks, folks.
Cheers.
See you, buddy.
Absolutely.
I mean, what do you got for it?
I'm absolutely lost.
You know, I think I've moved to the French bit here,
but the Contrary Passur, it's to reverse
a, or to transfer something, or maybe perhaps to reverse
something.
So perhaps where we'd read Dan's email again,
you might be keen to contrary pass up.
Reverse unreve it.
Yeah, reverse unreve it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Reverse unreve it.
Yeah.
Reverse unreve it.
Yeah.
Reverse unreve it.
Yeah.
Reverse unreve it.
Yeah.
Reverse unreve it.
Hey, a bit of a merch update.
Not going to get hogs up.
Okay.
That's why I call it merch.
It's above that.
Our lost touch in touch. T-shirts. Yeah, they're not merch.
merch is...
merch is certainly something you put fat margins on.
Yeah.
And these are flying out the door.
Really close to cost.
The merch can be frivolous.
Well, this is an important statement
that you're making to a friend.
If you buy them a lost touch shirt, it's a nice gift.
Sunifix.
Sort of filling a hole in society
where there wasn't something for this.
Yeah. Where you were like, hang on a sec, I feel like I am in touch with a common man.
But Brad, he's not into the common man. How can I buy wearable signs that support my case
for both sides? And that's where we feel that gap.
All the good sizes are apparently so good.
All the good sizes are apparently so good.
So obviously all, but maybe I should have said all the most popular sizes
are sold out.
When you look at sizing as the bell curve,
we've kind of got the ends left, don't we?
Do we have very, very small, like extra small,
extra large?
I think because it was kind of a unique size.
Yeah.
Obviously a lot of a more petite listeners,
not we hate stereotypes of this show.
Absolutely, I do have to select sizes when you make T-shirts.
But we'll allow sizing.
Our females often more petite than the males.
So all the smalls went,
it's just the Excel, double Excel,
and triple Excel that remained.
I'll tell you what is,
if you're looking at buying a lost touch T-shirt,
the ultimate move would be to buy a triple XL,
even if that's a little large on you,
and customise it.
Oh, yeah, Taylor, right?
Taylor.
Take it to a take it to our high-frient Taylor.
You get on that box that they had on the box?
Have them talk to you about the polo.
Like, you know, we've been here the polo this summer.
Oh, I might get down there.
They're a good sir.
Very good sir.
Stop talking to me.
Of course, sir.
I had jacket here earlier.. No you didn't. The other option is buying a triple XL and
wearing it as a knight shirt like Jack used to as a key. Jack could you could we
bring back the knight shirt? I guess an extra large extra extra large shirt could be seen as a
knight. He goes down below the thighs.
The ultimate lost touch would be you get the,
you know, you buy a bigger size than you need,
like let's say a triple-x-l for your night shirt, Jack,
then you buy another one, you buy that lost touch,
you buy another one that's lost touch, cut it.
So you just get the tube,
over the name of the armpits,
and stitch that onto the bottom of the other one,
then you've got a $70
lost touch with a common man not sure. Now that is what I'd like to say.
Hey, this is obviously, on the most part, people are doing very happy with the delivery service.
There's a few people that are questioning who's checking the checker, Hawgs re-fer out like redesigned his systems after that and it's been all positive until I got this from Ben,
he sent in his complaint through song. Did he? Yes. You're now tuned into a T-shirt
General Inquiry, order number five, two, five, two, six,ed it two weeks ago, no package as yet.
Filling nervous about my shirt, no confirmation in my inbox.
Check the jump too.
I put my T-shirts not lost.
I was crazy maybe, didn't buy customer service trying to get that shirt on my shoulders.
I probably owe it to Hors, keep him the better for the doubt.
She's been things world wide, it's what this guy's about.
He's an ideas man, no doubt he'll work it out.
But was Mickey's nephew the checker? Really the best route?
Who's checking the checker? That's what I'd like to know.
We can't leave this to chance. He's saying pizza lotto.
I get it all go. You're trying to save on those bills.
But what if your nephew has Simpson's guy checking skills?
Have I been chatted by a Russ?
But the Russ' name falls.
This is not the Russ' name falls.
This is what I'm saying is time.
I own truth in your sauce.
Mention twice or to once to make sure that it fits.
Just want my shirt to fly free like a shoe on blitz.
Feeling nervous that my shirt no confirmation in my inbox.
Check the junk too.
Hope my t-shirts not lost.
I was crazy maybe didn't buy customless service trying to get.
That shirt on my shoulders just trying to get. that shirt on my shoulders just trying to get that
Shoulder my shoulders just trying to get that shoulder my shoulders
The tracking just refreshed it says this shirt's true this week, okay?
Just regard other anger. Thanks. But let's go
Hey, although when you get a lyric that fits as well as that, you still send a song.
Um, Jay-Z would be proud.
All customer complaints have to be in song 4.
I'm also going to be hicking himself, and he didn't make that the rule.
It has to be a good song too.
Yeah, good rap.
We're hitting pretty good.
Parody song level.
Hey guys, Mike here from the Hay Mission Andy team. parody song level.
Hey guys, Mike here from the Hey Mission Andy team. Just jumping on at the end of this episode one more time to remind you
that the Remembering Project season 2 is out now.
We are down to the last two weeks of season 2.
So definitely go back wherever you podcast type in Hey Mission Andy's Remembering Project
and listen to both season one and two.
Here's a grab from this week's episode where we learn that launching a fragrance in a crowded market
doesn't come without its own legal ones.
In 2017, Andy by Hey Mission had been floated.
I had tricked you in designing the contracts.
I had secured what I needed legally from you
to launch the world's first ever non-concentual celebrity fragrance.
There was a lot of big hitters at the time in the fragrance game that we...
Was Beckham's called Respect or something?
Yeah, was it called Respect?
Could you give us a quick one, please?
That was a bit much.
And we called it...
Disrespect.
For launching at the same time as us.
And we really said some stuff that was cut and dry
Slander. Yeah, it was called respect. Yep. We did that absolutely we called no two ways about it was liable
And they just asked us to stop saying that stuff on here. We did get a yeah, I know
We got carried away saying stuff like it will absolutely burn your skin and poison
Complete like flat out lying.
So the makers couldn't argue that it was Sapphire,
it was just lies to bring down a competitor.
Yeah, and not David Beckham himself,
because he would never have no idea
what he would even know as a fragrance.
But he's, but there whoever was doing his fragrance,
the company behind it did reach out to us legally.
Highlighted a few of the things that we'd set on air.
And when you read him in black, I'm like, you go, yeah, I can see how you would
certainly have an issue with that being the messaging.
Go back and listen to that episode now. It is wherever you podcast, just type in Hey Mission
Andy's Remembring project and join us next week for the final episode of season two.
And of course, on Thursday for the next episode of the main part. We'll
see you then. Thanks guys.
Listen up.