Hamish & Andy - Hamish & Andy 2021 Ep 147

Episode Date: September 1, 2021

1. Loose ends 2. Shitbirds to start breeding – Digital horse update 3. Sydney’s worst ad 4. Pip perfect – special skill 5. Jack is tied down 

A list-naf production. Activate your internet. Because the Hamish and the podcast starts in 3, 2, sorry, still buffering. 1. A hoi to my boy little man, hey Mish. Your boy little man? Boy little man. Oh boy.

Uh, piping hot sir. I want degrees on the nose. A hoi to my water tender, Jacko. Oh, it's nice and cool for you. No, you need to steam engine that we're doing guys. You're an idiot mate, you're an idiot. I don't think you've worked the rails the day in your life. True, I haven't.

I haven't. Got him. You can believe that for a second. Yeah, went with steam engine themed. Hay and wish you were onto it, Boilermen. Jack, I'll be a second. What was that? Your water tender.

Not as highly ranked as a Boilermen, but still in the hot room, hoping to make sure that water gets to a boiling and steaming temperature. Absolutely, and the boilates. And I was saying it's cool, so I was saying that we have a problem. You sounded a bit relaxed, mate.

And if you watched Thomas the Tank Engine, you would know the core principle of steam engines, is you are never relaxed when there's a mechanical issue. It's the whole problem of trying anything in the Thomas the Tank Engine world. It's like, you know, oh no, there's a mechanical issue. It's the whole problem of trying anything in the Thomas Denk engine world. It's like, you know, oh no, there's not enough coal. Like it's all the ingredients for steam engines are very fiercely debated about.

You can't be that relaxed jacket. Anyway, oh, Hoi Tu to Lucy, who uploaded... Signal control. This is Lucy. Who uploaded her audio very easily, I would suggest. I'll web on this, www.habit.com. Number six, I hope you were doing well in this lockdown. I hope you are keeping that Tesla within your 5-kilometer radius.

Just wanted to keep it in here and let you know that I think I've blown something wide open here. So, last week was cooking a slow-cooked pulled pork dish. And they're supposed to be called for some jalapenos. So I purchased these older pastos, jalapenos. And I noticed the chili scale, one, two, three. We've got three chilies marking this a hot food. And it got me thinking, and I did a little bit of research online and my theory is

that the older Paso heat scale expands across its whole product range. It is not just on the taco seasonings, it's across the whole range. So your taco seasonings only go up to a medium, mild medium, but your jalapenos and your saltes go up to a hot. So this is my theory for you. Think I've blown it wide open. Hopefully you can sleep better at night. I certainly have been so, yeah, that's all from me. See you later. Wonderful insight and really conjures up the vision of tossing and turning going. of tossing and turning going. What about that one? What about that, just for real?

He's doing it. Isn't it? How deep is this going? It's only, boy, it blows the conspiracy of deeper. It blows the questions, I suppose, we have for old El Paso deeper. And a company that's been bought for a non-sponsor company.

Yeah, it's a company that's been bought up all along. An amazing amount of airtime this year. I'm gonna keep it going if I can for a second. Okay. Jack's most quickly. Does that satisfy Jack? Maybe what you're encountering with the chili heat system. You did.

I think she's absolutely right. There is, and thank you for everyone sending it to me on Instagram as well. There are three chili versions of the sauce. There is just not of the mix. Old Al Paso, Australia's Instagram sent me a photo of a white, unlabeled packet and said, this is coming to you soon with free chillies dancing. Oh, that was a month ago now and that never came.

So I'm worried that they thought that maybe that came to me and it never did. Maybe they had about you mission chips sponsorship. I better realize that you're playing both sides of the Mexican border. Check it. Check it. You've got the what I would say the prom and I would say lead it's the prominent brand wanting to satisfy you with a bespoke season. I can't wait but I just I mean they're working on and they just think it'll be happy make you happy. Amazing. I don't think just I don't think theilli does go across the whole brand because they obviously don't put them on tortillas.

They're all the tortillas, so it's not like everything they make has three chilies on it, but they'll color and depending on the hotness. Can I just say, I forgot to mention this to you guys. Couple of days ago, I got the pockets. Oh, I got the pockets. We talked about months ago on the podcast, where they've had the NoMess campaign,

surely now you idiots, you must be able to get it all in the pocket. Was the theory because obviously breeders and takers have the arse end that can fall out of it. People don't like that. So this is the NoMess pocket. Was it good? You know, you know we're not paid by what I've had to say here.

And this one proves it. Because my worry is, is that you can't then layer it properly either. If you're stuffing a pocket, how can you layer, like isn't all the meat going to fall to the bottom or? Well, yeah, you got to be good. You obviously not just jamming in like an ice cream. Yeah, that wouldn't be the way to make a burrito. I used it for breakfast burritos. I was making a brechie burrito for me and my son.

A lot of hype about the pockets, so we're getting the pockets, we got the pockets. Open it up, the thing is the pocket is obviously a 3D, you wanna create a 3D shape, that's flat packed. Yeah. And unfortunately, the very first pocket I picked up, along the seam, along the resting of the flybagging I picked up I had a crack.

A crack in the pocket. A tear in the pocket, my heart broke for all you've done. You now need pockets with reinforced folds on them because it was failing along the side of the pockets. And did you find one that didn't? None of the others that did. Just one out of eight success. Well, let's say, that was fine.

That was fine, but you're right. I mean, I'm spooning in the bacon and eggs, scrambled egg mixture, I had in some ava. And you have to build them hovering. Yeah, that's hard. So you're hovering it in your hands, squashing some ava in, then spooning lucky with bacon and eggs. What I'm pointing to in the letterbox was, it was. It was like trying to, but if you in the letterbox. It was, yeah, it was. It was like trying to,

but if you had a letterbox where it was very important that you junk mail when, in the middle, then bills, then local announcements, then a magnet from a real estate agent had to go on the top. We wanted to kick off the show with, look, a bit of housekeeping.

We do this from time to time. We are a show that does Peter out on a few ideas. We risk Peter out. We risk Peter out. We wanted to make it clear that some things are not Petering out, but COVID in the pandemic has thrown them for a loop. I mean, that, that COVID is really the source of a lot of Peter out there. Of course, the whole world of Peter out for a moment there.

There are a bunch of special skills that people have been asking for that we've said, yes, we'll get you on for. To the come to mind, the nine letter word girl that can get the matrix off. Oh, yeah, yeah. Out of the paper, the matrix of the letters and can he get the nine little word every single time. We haven't been able to fly anyone in to be able to do that. We need to do it in person. We do. We need someone to, you actually need to walk past it because my mum's house that you are regarded as, yeah, there's no faster way to win my mum's approval than to walk past the non-letter word in the age of the city money herald. The matrix of letters and go, oh, serendipity or whatever. And mum will, oh, you'll just be loved forever.

I mean, sure, she loves it. The other one was beer tasting fellow. He said he can name any beer, craft beer, like if he just by taste, again, we can't fly people in so bad. They're all there, they're sitting there, and we understand that when situation changes for Australia, boy will we have just a hot run of special skills being tested in the flesh.

Yeah. What about fake plants guy? Again, we'd love him to come in. He can spot where they're a plant is real or fake from across the room. I really want to see that, because we fake it again. We can do it in the flesh.

It's tough for us to hold them up on a Zoom and then go, that's just fair in the flesh. And a big one that's been coming through in terms of, hey, what's going on with this? Which I haven't really addressed on here, but I've got back to a lot of people online, only fans, you're only a fan's account. I had did let that peer out.

I stopped the payment, I made it free, I haven't dipped back in there. I obviously stopped the content production. Yep, cause it was poor and it didn't get paid. Well, it just was hard to get hot shots of you. Then a few months later, you got the dog, and I had a lot of people going, maybe he's just doing selfies with the dog in his undies.

You know, as if that was really a final nail in the coffin for the family fans, where, well, if I'm trying to put hot shit up, and then you're doing soft porn shots with the dog, not just sexy shots like an Ann Gett's. No, no, no, no. You were doing, you were doing, you were doing some dog underpants stuff and then people were like, well, the only fans is you're not going to make it through. That is a Peter out. It's still active. People go to, I don't bother going. Hain. Yeah, we can handle that.

We have a special 24-7. The slide party. Oh, that's on. That is very much on, but obviously borders are closed. We can't get everyone from around the country to get on the emergency slide. We think this is possibly a good thing because it gives everybody extra months to strengthen your ankles. We want to see a lot of Pilates ankle weights. Yep. Being used to strengthen them up.

Because two or three will snap on the day with love to keep it single digits. If it doesn't happen this year, it'll happen next year. Maybe even kick off the year with the slide party, emergency slide party. So I'm going to get to go on the emergency slide on a plane. One that I get a little bit is pepper cannons. They are on the way. Pepper cannons are coming. These are high powered application of pepper on a meal.

These seem to deliver an industrial quantity of pepper and a pace and a power that you didn't even know you need, but make you joyous. Yeah, it wasn't the ad. We can't believe, the kids can't believe how happy that is. Yeah, so we're going gonna try and see if our partners can sense a change in our mood. Can't put their finger on it, but we seem to be walking your edge

just on top of the world. And how many of us? Yeah, I've got a couple. We had a, I hired a guy from a website, or like an airtasker type thing called, remember Upwork, I'd say it to me. I am writing comedy writing course. He charged me an absolute fortune, so I let that be he to out myself because I got too

excited at the time and I think I put it like $100 a script to write casual conversation between three friends. Yes. And then I realized it was a US. Yep. And I was like, okay, no wonder, he's emailing me all the time. I had it at go. Do you want some more?

Like, Tae-o couldn't believe it. I think I still got a script floating around. I got an old one floating around that we didn't use at the time. Have to dig around for it, but I'll have it waiting in the wings for us in the next couple of weeks. If we ever feel we're running dry in content. So it's like guys, you know, love doing the podcast, but just against a creative wall today.

Oh, here we go. Thankfully, Tae-ato's got some casual conversation scripted for us. We don't even have to think about it. This was a big one. And you claimed something in episode 122. Jack and I mistakenly heard something in a story about you playing nothing else matters at school, at your U12 school by Metallica. Oh, yes. And then we thought you were playing it on trumpet.

But you were playing it on guitar. Yeah, accompanying someone. That's right. Singing the first one. I was singing and playing. I was singing it. I was singing and playing in out of tune guitar because I left it in the sun while and more proficient lead guitarist was doing the lead during it. And it was his performance.

Well, no, it was kind of both of our performance, but I ruined it. I didn't know you were singing it. How old were you? 18. Just. No, I was 18, six months. I was 18, eight and six months. Yeah the growling. Oh, yeah

Can't remember the name of metallic has split singer, but he wouldn't know that's the driver James Hempfield James Hempfield, but yeah, I sounded nothing like no, I mean, you know Even even at that age think the gravel ever have I ever have I ever sounded like Yeah, yeah, needed thousands thousands of darks to get your voice up to that level But you said this is the great when we mistakenly thought it was you playing nothing else matters on Trump But I think you said this year 12th concert got up to play nothing else matters But what do you mean? What look at all right, sorry. I just immediately thought Trump

What do you mean? I'm what? Sorry, I just immediately thought Trump. What I would have given to see 17 year on Andy honking out nothing else matters on the horn. I will play the thing that matters. Please, please, please, please, for the end of the year, I'll play nothing else matters. Okay, that isn't'll play nothing else. I'm jumping. Oh, gee, yeah. Okay. That isn't a Peter out there. Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh your stuff's in Melbourne. But if you got the travel trump, I have.

Did you bring up the travel trump? How did you bring that for? You're living by yourself. Because I'm bored. I've got one. I just want to shrink for the neighbors. Ah, great. Got a guy named so I'll play the back arena again.

Well, this week, nothing else matters. It starts preparation. Oh, boy. Have you honked yet? Yeah, honked. Do you put a pillow in it or something? Yeah. Four volume honked. Yeah. I mean, I guess you're going to do something. Yeah, exactly. I mean, people do blow their lawn. No, no, they got leaf blowers and power drills and all that stuff.

This is nice. So you wake up at 7 o'clock in the morning, go outside and blow the dryer. Yeah. Yeah. Just on all fours. Hey, we said we'd check back in with this, of course, our digital horses. Yeah.

People who don't know, they've built a new or metaverse, that what they call it they've built a new or metaverse, what they call it. They're going a metaverse, and essentially you own a digital horse. Yeah. When you buy them a digital money like Bitcoin. Yeah, unique. That is your unique horse. We've of course got Thundercastle. She's a beaut. Yep. And you race them in the hope to earn money from the races, but also be able to sell the horses. Anyway, let's jump into it now. I love it.

It is. It's great. I mean, I love that open up because, you know, it effectively shows that you take the old. You turn it into a once in a row. Yes. Ahoi, do you do V? Digital Ahoi. How you going, lad? Digital Ahoi. Dishy. Now. Ahoy, do you do, V? Digital Ahoy, how you going, Lod? Digital Ahoy, Dushi. Now, very keen, very excited to see whilst the, a lot of the normal world has been locked down,

the digital horse racing world has not been affected. So, the digital nags continue to run, or race a minute. Let's start with our main mayor. I don't know if you know she's a mayor or not. She's a good, our main mayor. Thunder Castle, she'd been breeding for us, but she's back racing. How has she been going?

She's not really been competitive in her class. So there's been a few big changes over the past three weeks. So I'm just putting her on ice for the now keeping her in the breed barn. Right. With her, when when when when when when when you say she's not being competitive is she winning too easily. Is that the worry? Yeah, the worry. She's she's competing on a second and third basis, but that's not what we're here for. We're here for the win. So I just want to look after her race record at the moment and manage that so that she keeps her value

moving into the longevity of the game. What? Like a boxer at the moment towards the end of their career. It's like, well, we're not fighting anyone good. Let's just make sure we pick out circus tent stuff. Yeah, yeah. How many races has she actually won? She's only won the one race at the moment, but she's still got that 50% place

rate. So she's still, as she's still ROI positive. But again, we want those wins. That's where, that's where you can make a lot of money if you would have then stellar off or do anything you can do with her. Yeah. Okay. Well, let's put us at Thunder Castle aside now and let's just talk about our dipshits. Diphits and shipbirds. Yep. Which are these all offspring of Thunder Castle?

Yes, all offspring. Yep. So we've got a bunch of them. Who else is in the stable now there? There are obviously a lower class. Simpson's guy, Jack Post is named by Jack, 2.tony at Earl Squirrels, certain. Four of these four horses that are the kids of Thunder Castle, who now that they're kind of like a rowdy, I think of it as like a rowdy bunch of teens.

Who's showing promise? Yeah, who is doing the best? Let me ask you a question. Let me flip that. Who do you think based off the show where these names are come from, should is doing the best? Let me ask you a question. Let me let me flip that. Who do you think based off the the show where these names are come from should be doing the best from those names? Two foot Tony. Yeah. Yeah. See, this is hello. Who do you think that should be doing the worst? Well, probably that with it with all due respect to Jack Post, I think it's the Simpsons guy that should be doing the worst. Yeah. But Jack Post would be close second. I love it because Simpsons guy's number one, Jack post is looking pretty promising at number two So what has Jack post one one? We haven't had to break through

Because there's been a lot of updates that have been happening So we haven't been able to run them in the ground as, uh, as Hamish wanted right now. There's now been fatigue entered into it as well. Oh, that's a fine lot of changes that have been really sort of, that's interesting. Yeah. Because when we first put the horse like we were just laughing because it's sort of like, you know, fun to cast a horse, she could have a baby and literally be running an hour later and possibly win a race.

But now there's like, so you can't, so how long do you have to wait now after running a race? Well, you've got a 24 hour period that you can essentially Resets the fatigue and each horse actually gets affected by fatigue and all these other things different and also Another layer to that is how your horse runs under different fatigue levels also comes into play as well. So there's a lot more training to go into it. But what it means is that these horses are maybe sitting on the fringe that aren't bad, they're not great, but they have the winning ability. It means that they're going to have a lot more

chance if they manage correctly to win more races. Because they might be really good horse that's tired. That's right, That's exactly right. Christian, thank you very much. We will watch out for Jackie's going to have heavy fatigue. I was surprised he rocked up doing a few other races, but thank you, buddy. We'll check back in a few weeks time and say, are you still looking to breed a couple more or still buy a couple more shipbirds? So what I'm gonna do is now our offspring are actually starting to come with age that we can actually start to breed them as well.

So we're going to go down the generations and that's where it gets really exciting. So what I'm gonna start to do with the stable is actually manage that as well in that we're starting to get a good income stream coming from putting the horses into stud. And I'll even look to breed the Simpsons guy and two foot Tony together, a little bit of an inbreeding, but that is on the platform.

But the Simpsons guys are a good one, so we'll put him into the stud barn and we should have a lot of people sort of lining up to take a breed with him. If you've seen Jack post in the change rooms after a swim, I think people are hiding up there. I've seen Jack in the stud bar. And it's quite a sight. Thanks, Christians, for seeing. All right, let's begin right up. And you've been a resident of Sydney now forever a month.

Yeah, well, I'm up doing the 100 from Sydney and then captured by her borders, much like in Gallagher. You thought you were just here to shoot some aliens and we wafted out the blue rays and caught you. Now you and me are double ships. Yeah. We have a good darling, great bubble buddies. Bubble buddies. Double ships. And they expose the things that firing out of us.

Yes. Well, they're not beers because we're firing beers into us. Weas long weas up when he is some more than others as we know. Trying for that behind not the point of this. Appreciate you having me over to your house sometimes as bubble buddy. Yeah. And, uh, Miss Arasians to your toilet for having to, to be subjected to your average

close flow. Yeah. But then also the death star of close. Hahaha. Just shards of porcelain flying around the bathroom and it is a rental. So you'll be up for an absolute huge bond. That's why I always bring that cup and fire, but I'm totally into it.

I always bring my peace shield. It's the right thing to do when you're visiting someone's house if you have an SP. Ajaka just on this. So it's a singles buddy, but bubble right. And people were texting with DMME me and going you're not single you know let it stop a couple weeks ago to put it in. It's not it's not the point. It's not the point. Anyone living by themselves in Sydney is a lot of it. You're not doing like a I now pronounce you Chuck and Larry thing with Hamid. When I went out there and he's like just coming through the bedroom. It's like uh-uh. It's straight and what an interesting inside. After all these years to see the other side of how the flies must feel in the spiders web.

Yes, come straight through the bedroom. Oh, I was told we were having dinner first. Perhaps I'll be treated to a meal if I perform well. There is an easier to open door for the patio. There's doors can be tricky. Yes, doors and I guess it's right here. So much of handy. There's still a spare bedroom that I'm not using. I'm putting my fringe behind my ear going, it's so crazy.

We never really get a chance to talk or work. Thanks so much for coming. I think there's a curfew. You're not allowed to go home. Oh, I didn't hear about the curfew. Oh, anyway, we're up in the ruin city now. I moved to Sydney, you know, with my family in January. I've been here a little longer than you do in the lay of the land, but you're doing great. You're doing great. Thanks. Thanks. I'm glad you're here, though, because I want to reference something that I've got you've been here. I want to reference something that you might have seen or you might not have seen. It's been on my mind for a minute. I just sort of gained here there because I want to reference something that, I'm glad you've been here. I want to reference something that you might have seen or you might not have seen.

It's been on my mind for a while and I just sort of ginsered when I was like, I've got to bring it up with Andy. There is an ad on the side of a bus. It's actually on the back of a bus. And there are a lot of buses going around Sydney. And I think it's Sydney's worst ad. I think it's probably the worst ad I've ever seen. It's not for a great cause. One that'd be very close to your heart. It's for of everything. Okay. It's not for a great cause.

One that'd be very close to your heart. One, it's for saving water. Okay, yes. It's for, you know, water-scriptiness. Yep. And, you know, great. We all agree. No one's pro water wastage.

Yep. Help the farmers bushfires, climate change. We love it. The what they've gone for though. It's a cut down your share. How is that? Okay. Jack, see if we can accurately paint the picture. but the what they've gone for though, it's a cut down your shower's ad. Okay. Jack, see if we can accurately paint the picture because I know in an audio medium,

it's a guy, it's actually a chubby red-headed beard a guy which is the lore in all ads at the moment. Yeah, must have the chubby guy with a beard and a red head, ideally the same guy. Like, that's, so it's just your standard ad guy with a shower cap on and and and then like Steve he's in the shower and then yes shower cap I've gone for common men already common men with like a portly fellow and yeah but and then shower cap hat from the 50s that a but a matronly lady wears to protect her curly hair yeah so she's

gonna have to go the cell on again. So anyway, he's got the shower cap on, but again, it's like, that's the theme of the ad, it's a bit cut, it's a bit like pantomime. Like, you know, I'm surprised it doesn't have a rubber duck and a scrubbing brush, you know, to really sell that he's in the shower. And I imagine he's kind of waist up in this shot, is he?

Yep, we're kind of waist up. Maybe even like ribs up. Yep. That's why they included the shower cap. That's right. He would have been sitting there in the background. He just looks like he's going to

know. Yeah. He just looks like a pervert. But you put a shower cap on it. We still know he's we know he dicks out. Yeah. We do.

We do. We think about it. We do know. We can't see it. But we know we know that it's out for a reason. We know it's just it's a medical.

He's just a medical one. He's just out doing what we all do it. And now he's got the shower cap on, so he's innocent. Anyway, there's steam bellowing up around him, right? And the slogan that they've come up with is, don't turn your shower into a sauna bulb. Right. So they're kind of like, this is the character that he's playing. That's not water.

You say, that's first era. That's temperature-based. Yeah. Okay. Exactly. That's actually an ad that's temperature based. Yeah, exactly. That's that's that's actually an ad for don't have to hotter shower. Yeah, yeah, which has nothing to do with water. And the crack attack, so you're actually wrong. Like the whole point of this is flawed from the get going.

If it was don't turn your shower into a bath, right? Like don't have a big don't flood the house. Sure. Okay. So already you're like wrong wrong. Don't flood the house. Sure. Okay. So already, you're like wrong. You've completely missed this. In fact, if anything, there's less water going down the drain when it's steaming. You're actually capturing more of the water in the house, and it will condense and you could use it later. So already wrong, then, then, and this is the bit where you just go, this is what goes from an average add

to like, okay, this is the worst add. There's a fireman coming in through the bathroom window behind him, like scowling at him. Like, like, oh, we thought there was a fire in here. No. Yes, yes, Steve. So bombs there, there's steam and open bathroom window fine and climbing in and then like Oh, it's just you having a long shower

Just you haven't got hot shower. So you don't understand the concept of temperature versus volume yet You're insulting the fire department If they would deploy to They would deploy to a steamy bathroom thinking it's a house bar that these guys are trained professionals train their whole life to say like they can't discern smoke from steam and no water vapor versus smoke and and and that Bob's okay but they just can be going mate not you again Bob how long was this one six minutes meanwhile there's like a factory fire somewhere. Like that is.

That's a shock. That's the worst. That's the worst. And an amazing special skill fell to my side of the email fans. Yes. A man called Harrison has a skill. This is one of our favorite categories of skills. It's just something that you encounter a lot, but you never think about, oh wow, what if I was a superhuman in this field? Yeah. It's supposed to be like it's a nuisance that you do within daily life. Talking about mandarins and their pips. I face a lot of mandarin pips issues in my life. my kids really love a Mandy. Yeah. And they like, and you love a Mandy. It's a kid. Thing is, because you enjoy peeling it yourself. Yeah. It's kind of like, it's manageable.

You're not allowed to have sugar, but it's sort of like it's kind of a hit, like eating vitamin C. And it's a trade. You know, that's not really sugar, but it is better than bitter. And it's like a beginning level of orange, because it's easier to peel.

It's like practice on these and you eventually upgrade to an orange at some point. Currently, the kids favorite thing at the moment is how it has to steal the mandarins, go and hide in our wardrobe and just sit under the like under those dresses and stuff, just eat mandarins in there. It's locked down, so that's a day.

She's up 40. That's pretty much your whole day. She's just spitting sweat up into bits that chew up 40s. That's 40 minutes. It's gone 40. That's pretty much her whole day. She's just spitting sweat up into bits that chew up 40. That's 40 minutes. It's gone high on the wardrobe and it mandarin's. And that's a very fun game at the moment. So not loving it because she finds a lot of Mandarin,

Pips and Pils, you know, coins. However, Harrison wrote in, he went, he's skills about Mandarin's. He can tell from the outside of the Mandarin, he's gone, I can tell many pips are in there. Now we, that blew our minds because we're like, I didn't realize this was a skill. I'd love to have this skill. I'd love to be taught this because quite often if you're hiding in the cupboard with your children eating mandarin, you have to think

having a fun time, but then finding a pep can really derail the mood, especially if you're a four-year-old daughter of mine. So that really, I'm like, what a wonderful ability. If someone can, because to the lay person like you or I, it's a complete lottery. Oh, yeah. And it'll have to be none. It could be none. I have to wander through a mandarin just in fear of getting one of them up to the light expression.

Exactly. It could be one person there. It could be one per segment. Sometimes I've had two or three per segment in the whole Mandy. And I actually never occurred to me to go, right, what species of Mandarin was that? Because I've since learned,

because today I've shopped for this segment. They're a different species, different types of Mandarin. And what I should be doing is keeping notes and just going, you band. If you're a high pub species, you band. Anyway, that's Harrison's skill. He joins us now over Zoom. We've got to do this remotely. Harrison, how are you, mate? Hoi boys, and I hope you've been sticking off the dark, Andy. No need. Just hopefully you just get mandies in our mouth for this segment and much healthier addiction.

Harrison, how long have you had this skill for? Well, I've previously worked at a green grocer before. And as you know, Ham, there are perks of working in retail. So instead of having the magnum ice creams behind the counter, I have a few mandarins. but in saying that, there is a lot of different brands and different types for Mandarin's. So it is quite hard and I challenge everyone out there to give it a go. But I think for just for a manual, a traditional or a health star rating, a bit of a

much safer to eat three Mandarin's a shift than three Magnum Egos. Just when you can't be a vascular health pants popping. We might have seen a thinner Blake. You have a black team. You have a poppy pants because you ate two Mickey Mandarin. Probably not because of course, you know, like, throughout a couple of Mandarin brands at a Harris. I'll throw a few at you.

Yeah. What do you got? You know, you got your Bendy Ago. You got your delight. You got your tango You know, which ones the most lost touch if you if you saw someone having look it would probably have to be Your expensive our deposit mandarins Well, the pocket Deported, nice. That's very nice crazy nice prison down the street with two iPhones eating a deposit

Nice. That's very nice. It's very nice. It's cruising down the street with two iPhones eating it to pocket. So, how you, our plan was to give him one, wasn't it? Well, I've actually got, we've got three, I've selected three and I believe, how I said, in your N.O. you said, as long as you could see the outside of the Mandarin, then you could guess, this is your skill in a nutshell, or in a Mandarin pill. You can see the Mandarin and immediately say how many pips are in it. Now, is this a full proof skill?

Yes, it is. I take in many considerations, such as looking at the full veto, which is the outside layer of the Mandarin skin. Well, the size, yeah, yeah. Okay, so few aspects. Wow, okay. So, do you know how many segments are in each Mandarin? Pants with Mandarin, you have?

Well, here's, okay, ando. Well, I've got three species in front of me. Should I pick the, the spicy? Yep. The type of Mandarin. And because I kind of feel like that would be even more impressive for Harrison, if, if he doesn't get a say in it. Yep.

And then we'll show it to you by a zoom, Harrison. Do you, do we have to tell you the type of Mandarin? Um, it would help just feel feel like we're on the scene that you told me what type of Mandarin. I'm happy to do that because this already seems hard enough. Okay. Yeah, okay. Well, we've got the Murkoth and the Red Imperial.

Okay, and the Pocken. The Pocken's the fan's one. I don't have one of those. No, you went to Red Magic. I just played my normal game, which is by a nice, common man, Red Imperial and a Murkoth. Okay. All right.

Okay, hands. Before you say anything, let's play the opener. This many so clear your mind Harry is time Hit me baby one more time For the first time Yes, because we haven't seen you do it before so for you it's one more time for us. It's the first time Um, why don't we go red imperial okay? All right Andy is now showing Harris and the red imperial he's rotating it slowly almost like it's on a plimp for the car show. It's got a prominent nipple at the top, you'd say. What are those called? A prominent nipple we can go with, I guess.

So you've raised it, Arioli? Yeah, well let's leave it there. You're the one that's called the red-edged mercantile, though. And then the dimple is shallow. Yes. So I would say it's about fivemm from the top side and the dimple is a shallow 3mm. Okay. What do you think in there as you see this red impurity? Have good experience with the red impurials?

The green grouse for eye-wift art didn't tell red impurials. Oh. Do you want to switch back to the mirko? I'm happy to switch to the mirko. I know, I'll take the challenge. So with the red and Miracot, the Imperials do have different shades in every brand. As I said, by looking at the Flavito,

the orangey outside taste of it. Boys, and going to lock in a low number, and go to. To two teams, okay. And he's bringing it over to me now. This is where we say, we're only doing one mandarin here. Yeah, because we can't keep unpealing mandarin as it's not interesting enough podcast. You've got to understand there's over a million podcasts

available worldwide. And for us, the city of thinking peeling mandarin is a decent use of people's time that have chosen to give us their attention. Yep. I just think that would be the heart of arrogance. One, one will do. Okay, Max Reng the first segment, no pip.

No pip. I'm X Reng the second segment up to light. No pip. There was a tiny little bit of... How many segments do you reckon there are, I am? Oh my god, there's only six. Okay, so two? Is that right for a red imperial, only six segments?

Ah, I believe so. Is that... No pip. No pip. Oh no, sorry there's seven.. Seven. No, Pip. No, Pip. No, Pip. It's an already in pieces number five. I am checking because it was a thick segment. Double checking. What on anode? I'm doing no, Pip. No, Pip. Three to go. Three to go. Wait, two pip. Two pip. From three segments. No, Pip. You need everything here. I want it to mini-segment.

No pip. No pip. No pip, it's a maiden. Oh, the maiden. Oh, the bitch. So, I guess you have been stitched up. It's Mother Nature's played an elaborate prank on you. Both.

Are there manufacturers that can make seedless or... I don't know, but I tell you what I'll be reaching for a red imperial now. I've never thought about which species has the least tips. Do you want to see him go again? Maybe I want to see you try the miracle. I mean, we do say that it's not interesting, but maybe it is. Jack, thoughts? Well, you just, you spent a minute saying that you wouldn't be so arrogant to ever do multiple Mandarin in the same time.

Absolutely. Mate, calm down. Yeah. We're going to go out and fight and get a merc hot and get the pips. We're on. I mean, Jack, you're over the other side. You can't see it as well as we can. Is it engaging from an audio? We're on. I mean, Jack, you're over the other side. You can't see it as well as we can. Is it engaging from an audio? It requires a lot of imagination. You've seen a Mandarin before and you've seen the segment. This is just making quicker.

Okay, okay. This is the Merck Heart. What, what, what you trying to imagine so hard? What was the bit that was the biggest struggle for your imagination? Describing a Mandarin. Actually, I'll tell you that the, the tell you that the part I struggled with most was the X-ray bit. Like, you're looking through one of the segments. I've never had experience with that. So you can never help a man-grey in up to the light to see if there's pips in it. No, I just either end-fuel the pips with my mouth.

Wow. Okay, here's the Merckot Harrison. I saw it. It's very round. It's very flat. It seems like a dimple on both sides, even at the stem side, so it's quite flat. It's much more classic flat shiny waxy mandarin. At risk of losing Jack, what are you going to lock in?

I think I'm going to lock in high. If it's a low-stated merc hot, it will be single digits around 6, but I'm going to take the risk and and lock in 24 It's gonna unwrap that it's just all seen Why would they even sell them? We have wrong though Okay, you're right for the first one. So you have to get it exactly right Okay, well, they're in the first, Jack, can you see,

you can watch me now, you have to use your imagination. Can you imagine a 39 year old man holding up a segment of men are in to the light? Okay, let us know if you're rams full. I'm with you now. Too powerful, your graphics card can't render this image of a man holding up some men are in. Okay, two, the first one do the odd to the number as we go to two again I'll hang on three three in the second one. How do you do this? Oh

One of those ones you find in the color three eight Three Wow Eight Three! Wow, 11 This thing is two more We're halfway through and we're at 13 He's on track So I'm this Jack This is the introduction It's finest

One, one, one 16 16 Three 19 How many segments left? Three to go Zero A double Three Three, 19. How many segments left? Three to go. Zero.

Oh, a double. Three. So, 22, that's what he wanted, wasn't it? Was it 25? 24. 24. Two. Oh, he got it!

Oh! Oh, he got it! Oh, he got it! Oh, he got it! Oh, he got it! Unbelievable, Jackie, even if you've got any brain power, you've processed how I believe all that is. I can't believe what I'm imagining!

That is unbelievable. That is unreal! Harrison, you're a star. You weren't mucking around, boy. You know the burko. Yes, you know, and you know your mandarins. It's, you get yourself a coin H&A coin H&A coin which is one H&A coin worth one H&A coin on the back We humorously have equated it to a Bitcoin of course

We believe it's worth a Bitcoin bit to receive a proper Bitcoin for it You would have to as we always say sell it on a secondary market and find an appropriate buyer, which is not us. Very difficult to do. Good luck. That's in your hands now. The coin, the physical coin is coming to you. Garja UCN, that's your unit coin number. Well done, mate. Fantastic. Cheers, boys. Hey, I've got a direct message from a Hayden on my Instagram. He obviously was worried about the security of Hamishney.com and the email's coming in. It's nothing to do with you,

but it was to do with another member of our group. Also, he wanted to guarantee he got to you. Well, we just wanted to guarantee he didn't get to jail. Gotcha. I also had a direct message from a girl called Victoria, who said the same thing. Not explicitly, she just said, Hey, and I gave me a Snapchat account. a girl called Victoria who said the same thing. Not especially she just said, hey,

and I gave you a Snapchat account, but I think she wants to talk to me privately about a show issue. You better find out. Once she gets off the beach. Hahaha. Jack, how are things going? Yeah, I was everything, Jack.

I'm good. You're enjoying the time here. This feels like a big trap door thing planted underneath my feet, but yes, I'm enjoying my time here. Don't mind us as we install the trap door. And just to make sure that the pond of piranhas as well stocked under the trap door. In the moment, Jack, we'll just get you to go and stand on that cross. I might just come and get you to have a nibble of this pie in the giant mouth trap. Sorry, my apologies.

Weasel trap. It's a hobby for you. Well, documented hobby. Yes, yes, okay. We know you're obviously. I mean, I've gone on record and said this show's a hobby before, but I think where I last left it was, I apologize for calling the show a hobby, instead it wasn't a hobby. But what I liked about it, and obviously it was, it was kind of hurt for we're all working our buttons off and you're calling it a hobby. But then the other part to it,

the other side was like, but he must love it because you choose. You must feel like a hobby. You choose, yeah, yeah, and you's an enjoyable way to spend your time. Exactly. You choose how he's for enjoyment. Jack's shows this. That's great. Yeah.

Jack, you sometimes go on other people's podcasts. That would be a drag, wouldn't it? Yeah, I mean, but maybe just podcasting in general is a hobby of mine. So don't mind going. You're in the mediums. Don't hate the mediums here. No, obviously this is my number one podcast to come on, but I have been on others. You were on Dill and Friends podcast recently. And this is what came up. To go into something else, you have to leave the first thing.

You actually have to face the reality of what they would be, and it's tough to leave, and that's why I haven't left. I've still worked on the Hamish and Andy podcast even though we're not doing daily radio. I'm still tied down by it. So, I'm so sorry that we bind you to this desk everywhere that we drag you into the basement, tie you up with electrical cords, make you press the buttons then beat you with phone books. Tie down. Tie down. Still tie down by this.

Yes, it's like, Jack, in terms of contact, there was, it's got to be pretty low on the scale, doesn't it? That was, I'll be honest, that was a very long podcast. He talks to you for a long time, so it gives you a lot of rope to just keep talking and talking and it brings you down. You're going to put a foot wrong and say something that you obviously don't mean. No, there's no police investigation. He's not trying to get an evidence. I mean, wasn't it a bit after that just going, just tell us, tell us how little fun you're having on the podcast and we'll let you have some, we'll let you eat.

You can have the sauce on your rolls. I don't feel tied down for the, let the record show. I feel free to go, uh, where if I were one and do what I please. Sometimes you don't come to the meetings. Completely free. Thanks for listening. The Hamish Nandie podcast will return next week. Catch up or contribute at hamishanandie.com.