Hamish & Andy - Hamish & Andy 2022 Ep 178
Episode Date: June 29, 20221. Andy by Hamish vs. Rexona Coconut 2. Horgs’ son best on ground 3. Alex the Snack Speculator – Special skill 4. The inside word on Industry Superfunds ads 5. Amelia – The belly button heat...-seekerÂ
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1.
A hoi- me Warp!
Hey, Mish.
Oh, you give me something straight.
You ain't getting it back in the same condition.
I'll do you that baby.
Warp to sell!
A Hoi to me bema!
Jack!
Yes, it's a beam that you might be warping, Hey, Mish.
I'll give you the beam.
Oh, of course, light can be warped by enough gravity.
I'm in like a beam, like a joist.
Oh, okay, I can warp that too with enough heat, yes.
But of course, Andy, we are both working
on the Starship Enterprise.
No, I'm not taking us to warp speed.
Jack beaming people left, right, and center.
I'm a weaver.
Yes, you make the wigs for the crew.
So, keep our heads warming out of space.
You're looking spot. You know that warming out of space. You looking spot.
You know that's not his hair.
We are making cloth carpet and other fabrics.
We're tech stars.
Oh, he just is gang of like, yep, I can see that.
I can see I think.
You move the beams of yarn.
Yes, now I remember.
And I'm wearing team meeting.
Yes, no. And this is a worrying team meeting
This is what we've been doing for the Dujuj. We're hoping you'd remember your job
Particularly if we were going to get it for 12 years. It's like yeah now. Oh
That's right guys we're a crack squad you're on explosives. Oh, that's right. That's why I have the bag of C4
Yes Now I remember and you operate the warper machine himp Machine, which is a different reel that go into the...
Yeah, it turns easy, but get it wrong,
so help you guys.
That is used.
Stuffed up a whole run.
No, that's our sand fun.
I like the idea of us being kind of like bad boy, you know,
down at the manufacturing precinct, down at the bar,
and people going, stay away from those textile boys.
See how bad our stuff happened.
They're no good those textile boys.
Don't get involved with one of them.
They were really tight click.
Uh, a hoi alls.
Remember, remember what they're doing.
Uh, a hoi allsso to Jonno.
Jonno from Jolong.
Jolong.
Jolong. G'day, Hamish, Andy and Jack. Jonno from Jolong. Jolong. Good day, hey, Michelle, Andy and Jack.
Jono from Jolong here.
I actually just ran into Andy Lee in the toilets at the MCG.
Can I just say?
What a Python.
That being heard from him is few.
Anyway, it reminded me that I need to shoot you guys a warm welcome for today's podcast.
And I don't know why everyone complains,
this messaging system's easy.
Anyway guys, have a great one.
John O.
Oh, he seems like this is Andy's paper.
So I do submit.
So what a suspicious couple of facts, John O. chose to share.
Wow, so Andy's Python,
and absolutely which there wasn't a WhatsApp. Well, nice little act as well from Andy to pretend to forget who he was and what's his name?
Hey shout out.
Anyone.
And John.
Anyone.
Anyone.
And he was childhood buddy.
Anyone go to abjd.com as John I did.
We prefer the truth but it's always fun to have a little role player.
A fierce life.
You asked me to, you wanted the reins for the start of today's show.
Yeah.
And I've got something to bring.
I said, I've got something to bring to the table, but I needed a prop.
I needed something for you to bring in, and I.
You said bring in a bottle of Andy by Hamish.
People who don't know what this is, it is a smart casual fragrance for men that Hamish bought out without actually asking me.
The world's first non-consensual celebrity fragrance.
A trick during designing a contract. You didn't know what the contract was about,
and I was able to then mark it, Andy by Hamish.
Andy by Hamish. A smart casual fragrance for men.
Yes.
Later expanded to be unisex.
We realised that of course the appeal is genderless.
Everyone's got noses and noses like pleasant smells.
And what?
Similarly, we found out that you can dress it up.
It doesn't have to be just warm with smart casual attire.
You can put it on a suit and the suit will be fine.
We made a huge mistake.
We tried to pigeon hole it early and that's what marketing is.
And then we realized, hang on a sec, it's for everyone, everywhere, every style.
A rip of fragrance for any type of anywhere.
A rip of fragrance for human beings.
So the crazy thing was, I mean, people might remember that if you listen in the radio days,
it was the highest selling fragrance in Kim's warehouse history.
And I absolutely smashing RSVP by Michael Boobley.
Yes.
Absolutely smashing by Jennifer Berniston.
Was it a specced site?
David Beckham?
Respect by David Beckham.
So great disrespect to him by smashing his sales.
Absolutely destroying shades of blue by Michael Klim. Some of these might be the
fragrances. I might not be remembering the exact names, but you know, it crushed, it crushed
at the end. We were like, that's done. Yeah, we wanted to respect the pharmacy box office.
Crushed at the counter. We wanted to respect those that people bought it and used it. It was
obviously a very powerful scent.
And we wanted to also respect the fragrance connoisseurs that bought it and put it in their
cellar.
We let it lie down for a bit like a bottle of grain.
And it has only increased in value over the years and we did that to honor those purchases
too.
Now, integral to the success of the fragrance is obviously it's smell.
When you make a fragrance, you patent that combination of smells and go obviously it's smell. When you make a fragrance, you patent that combination
of smells and go into the mega smell. Each smell is made up of thousands, sometimes millions,
of smaller smells and they've come together almost like one of those. Like DNA.
Like DNA, that's the individual. It's personal to that bottle to that brand anybody can't you can't you can't copy it
Which is why my
Is picked up my eyes
picked up here when I I came across this this email from Daniel and he goes hey, oh, hey gentlemen jack we've heard of song sluth what about sense sluth
Except unfortunately I write in relation to the show's prize clone, Andy Bohemisch. A new in quotation marks,
deodorant by Raksona.
Coconut cleanse.
Really hits the nostrils in a very familiar way.
I think I know what this is about now,
because I'm looking in front of me, Ham, you've got.
We've got.
Andy Bohemisch, you've got the Raksona Advanced Protection Coconut cleanse plus mint scent.
Plus mint.
Now, we know who'd love as a coconut, but is theft a coconut as well.
And then I didn't know what this,
there's a cup of coffee ground.
That's to neutralize the nostril
between the scent.
So.
We're trying to do it first.
Let's do Andy Bahamish first.
Do a spray of Andy Bahamish.
Yeah.
Spray not a bit of paper, or you're wrist.
Okay. Do you wrist? because you'll be a smell, you know,
the head is a bit heat activated.
Mm-hmm.
There she is.
I guess it's good smell, isn't it?
She.
Takes it back to the wafting.
I was worried that it was going to be
so, you know, so-
40 years ago, but no.
That aged well.
That aged very well.
And really you can tell cinnamon coming through there.
Yeah.
It's just me.
It's just you.
I was also making French toast this morning.
You might be smelling a little too hard.
The hand.
That's not okay.
That's nice.
Now we have the coconut cleanse.
I'm nervous for it.
Hey, you've used coffee with me.
Shhh!
Oh my god, he's so hot.
I'm too hot.
I wish it actually at least snorted coffee.
Gotta bang up the nose.
Okay, neutralise the palette.
Neutralise the senses.
I'm keeping my other wrist that I sprayed.
Anybody have you shot very low? I'm sniff my other wrist that I sprayed heavy by Hamish on very low.
I'm sniffing the coconut.
That's Hamish applying some coconut cleanse.
I wonder if now that this is what I wanted to do
at the second, because now it's in the air.
Just put it on the same wrist.
No, I know when to be the other one.
Oh my gosh.
It's not off the wrist, not from the air.
I mean, and with all due respect to Riksane here in their parent company,
it's obviously a cheaper scent, like it smells.
Oh my god, it's far less coconut even you think.
Oh my god.
I mean, is it just me or does this key unlock both locks?
I think it's exactly the same. This car has buzzer, unlock both doors.
Let me just get some coffee in between.
Oh, good.
I know it's not good for podcasts with a lot of sniffing.
Well, have we accidentally started a sensitive nose?
I think they're very...
I think that almost exactly the same.
It has a unmistakably similar tang.
Well, you did the legal work for Andy Bohemisch
if we did this cast.
What level of assurity that this scent
couldn't be replicated?
How trademark is it?
Maxine.
That's good.
No, me boss.
Pre-throwing it goes to this stuff.
Paperwork McGee would have filled it all out.
Absolutely mate. Don't you worry about that.
Do we have any cause to...
Oh, nice.
Do we take him to Smell's Court? I mean, what caught is it?
Let by next week, let's get a trademark lawyer up on the show and work out what kind of
smells. Is there a smells caught? I mean, you hope there is. You hope there is and there's
a judge up there with a giant nose or whatever. and he or she is making all the calls.
Yeah.
Because when I looked at the can and it's coconut and meant, I was like, I don't think
we're going to have any problems here because that is not what the Andy by Hamish smells like.
Do you smell any coconut or mint in this?
It's so subtle, isn't it?
And actually, it's the combination of the two that provide somehow the eerily similar smell
of Andy by Hamish. Well done to the elite. provide somehow the eerily similar smell of any behind me.
Well done to the listener that came in. Can we just have a quick look at what the so you leave a makes rex owner. Yeah. You need to leave a big company.
They're one of the big boys. Okay. Net worth. Oh yeah, there are 120 billion dollar company.
So even if we ask for a clean billion to go away.
No, there are $120 billion company. So even if we ask for a clean billion to go away.
Okay, you can imagine that that's within the realms.
That would be fun.
Okay, we'll pick this up next week.
Hey, I'm at the pub on the weekend with Hawgs.
And I said, how's your weekend?
He said, oh, it's just filled up with Kid Sport.
Now he's got four boys, they're planning sport.
Yeah, yeah.
And across the branch too, like just even just different ages.
Yeah.
So age one goes at 10.
He's gone, look, Nick played really well.
Nick got best on ground.
And I said, oh, wow.
What age?
Maybe probably about 11 now, I think.
Oh, that counts.
Yeah. But by that age, they genuinely are giving it to best on ground.
So you just noticed like in the younger year levels, it's, it's, um,
even just a question. Yeah.
You can get coaches of what was a pretty amazing stuff at the end of the game.
And I said, oh, what is it voted by?
What has voted by the umpires?
He has no other coaches.
And I said, hang on. it voted by what has voted by the umpires? He has no other coaches.
And I said, hang on, aren't you the coach?
And this is where I feel like I just let, I put a button in it
because I was like, this feels like a bit of a royal commission
that our show needs to do.
Yeah.
Because it seemed odd to me that his son has walked away
with a best on ground as voted by the coach when he is the coach.
That's true.
That's what I mean.
This would never happen.
Yeah, your dad was absolutely.
The op, he would have invented worst on ground.
So should we give him a buzz and just see?
Lots of now it happens.
I think, I mean, I'm sure it does happen because the coach is always, I mean, the lot of
the time at that age is going to be a parent.
And the question is, you know, should the kid of the parent, should the kid of the
coach always miss out for the season?
It's an interesting one.
Can you say one?
Let's give Hawks a call.
Big Hawks, how you doing here, mate?
How's it going?
How are you? Hello. Big Hawks, Hamish and Andy here mate. How's it going?
How are you?
All right.
Just wanted to get your take on your son getting best on ground when you're the coach
and you do the vote.
First of all, first of all, congratulations to him.
But on behalf of the other parents who don't have a voice here and whose children mistoules,
perhaps the coach could shed some light on exactly what it was.
Was it Nick that got it?
Yeah, Nick got it.
Exactly.
What was that Nick Horgins performance that saw him head and shoulders above the rest?
Look, he played well.
I wasn't the guy who put the three down.
The guy standing next to me put the three votes.
But is he a coach? Like like how's he got the right?
Yeah, where's he get the authority?
No, no, I was coached last year. Oh, so I was the goal umpire and I was filling in
the goal umpire for the other guy.
Yep.
And so the goal umpire has to vote because it's pretty hard to vote in capacity.
But so what answer is this was Nick Horgon, given best
on ground in a week where his father had input into the voting.
Potentially.
So do you do it?
Do you do a three, two, one?
Do a three, two, one.
Yes.
And is there the kids that get two and one get informed that Do you do a three to one? Do a three to one, yes.
And is there, do the kids that get two and one get informed that they were runners up?
I don't know, but the funny thing about this is it's all anonymous.
So, you know, obviously this is not going on in the air.
Twenty one.
So how many people have you got in total?
So the kids, but Nick would know he got best on ground or does he not know until the end of the year?
Is it brown low?
It's that situation.
They don't know.
So there's like three or four, like the coach votes,
the goal on pile of votes.
The runner probably has a vote.
And then they all add up the, oh yeah.
So Nick got three points, three fights from his dad.
Yeah, good.
All right, 16 votes here.
Did you give your son three votes?
I did.
Yeah, good on you.
Good on you.
I'm fully support this because if you deserved him, yeah.
Hey, you know, just because just because he's your dad doesn't mean he's just because he's
his son doesn't mean he doesn't get the vote.
I'm actually proud of you as well Hawkes because I've seen you be pretty harsh on
you after a lesson performance. So it's nice that you can give the other one the other way as well.
At the under 11 level where they are. What are they playing under 11s under 12s?
They've been three years with eight nine ten eleven under 11. So at that level, what are you basing on?
Because sunny, model boys being under eights.
And the only things you get judged on are having fun
and celebrating who their fits.
Has the criteria changed three years down the track?
Not really.
It's a bit unfair on the really good players.
Yeah.
Because they're clearly best on ground. And then so someone's
not normally best on ground and they're probably best on ground. Oh, you're best on ground,
mate. Okay, okay. So there's an element of Mario Kart catch up. Oh, how come I'm getting stars in
the cubes, but when I'm at the front, I'm only going to coin a ripadana.
There was a situation last year, you know, in Ozcake again, like in a just junior AFL stuff. They, it was clearly roadhead around.
So everybody got at least one during the season.
And I suspected this when sunny one hears, for one particular game where I wouldn't say he clocked up
that many disposal touchesals or touches,
but at the end of the match, the coach was like, and also you've got the awards, where
are they shuffling through his bag?
Here we go.
Yeah, sunny bike there you go.
There's your award made everyone round of applause.
And you look at the end and it says, you know, best I'm grand awarded to sunny bike for
team work.
And there was he clearly, it was clearly pre-filled
it by the night before. There was no sign of a pen or there he had no way of
feeling it in between the game. It was like ink. It was like down the bottom of
his satchel because he chucked it in the night before.
Mick, have we broken the code by giving it hints like are we affecting
sports markets?
We would have affected the odds for sure.
No, well, if the other guys went zero void votes for Nick, we'd, you know, you wouldn't
get the top three.
Yeah, fair enough.
Yeah, nicely done.
Well, thanks.
But I gave it up on the nod and said, you know, he did, you know, cheese Nick play world
in. He did, yeah, chasing play world.
The, the impartial juror.
Awesome, mate. Thanks for the most day of the call. All right, boys. See you, mate.
Best of luck, Nick, for the big night.
And then the season.
Hey, a special skill came in on my side of the fence,
HamishNelly.com.
And we had to do it for a couple of reasons.
One, we love snacks, the show love snacks.
It's one of the things our show stands for.
We're snake positive.
We are.
But he writes, I can correctly guess the snack out of a list of snacks
by just hearing someone chew the snacks down the phone.
He discovered this while playing video games.
He said, this is the list of snacks.
Smith chips, red rock deli chips, rice crackers, pretzels, peanuts, shapes,
Doritos, M&Ms, maltese, sprinkles, fine. Tiny teddies, Oreos, popcorn,
cheesels, and pods. You'll be on pods, I'm cheetos, and pods.
You'll be on pods, eh?
I'm not so good.
Oh, what's really?
I love pods.
They're dangerously more, because you go,
I might have a whole twix, I just have a pod.
And then you're mouth goes, send 12, send a dozen more
of those down there, where since they're negligible,
since they're a rounding error of candy.
Alex joins us now.
Hoi Alex. Yes, hoi here. Oh, candy. Alex joins us now. Hoi, Alex.
Yes, Hoi, boys.
Hoi, Alex.
We've got the snacks here.
We're impressed with this.
Togas through when it first became a thing.
Yeah, so like I said, playing video games with mates, some of the boys got a bit hungry
and we're chewing down the line and we just decided to make a game out of it.
It's called Guest of Snacks. So yeah, we just, we played it and I was
pretty good at it. It turns out so. What game are you playing?
Fortnight, mainly. What headset are you and your friends using?
Actually, don't know. It's just a standard one from JB-I-5.
Okay. Just wondering, I mean, is it, do you notice you guess one of your,
because it probably your friends headsets is more important. Do you guess one friend snacks more often?
Has he got a better mic?
Oh.
Yeah. Well, there's one guy that's probably a little bit hungry than the other boys, so
he doesn't most of the time.
There's one thing that won the, what the hell is now? That was being the snack you guess
that just blew everyone away.
Yeah. So I guess the other day, um, V actually, so it doesn't actually only list,
but that was pretty shocking to be fair.
Yeah, that's amazing.
Okay, Alex, we've got five snacks lined up in front of Hamish.
He was quick to put his hand up for this role.
How's the fidelity on the phone line we've got with you?
Happy with this mate?
Yeah, very happy.
What I like about this,
and I'd just encourage the listeners to think about this.
Of course, we're being recorded in perfect listen quality here.
The studio is a top notch.
Alex can hear us through a phone.
Yeah.
So he's not hearing what you'll hear on the podcast.
So it's kind of fun because people listening right now just on like headphones listening to the pod will hear a better recording of my snack and Alex will get. So
some people to know that when he gets it, if he gets one, he's got that at 50% liquidity.
Three from five we reckon him for a coin? Yes. Okay. I have six in front of me. That's good
news for me. Some just for home Do you want to do four from six?
Too many.
Like to eat all these snacks.
Too many.
Let's go three from five.
Alex, good luck. Alex is the crunching one you've got your phone up and you'll stay to two his friends
the snack
the snack
the snack he picks is never wrong
the snack
the snack
the snack he picks is never wrong
This is never wrong, you're dead, you're dead, you're dead, you're dead, you're dead, you're dead, you're dead, you're dead, you're dead, you're dead, you're dead, you're dead, you're dead, you're dead, you're dead, you're dead, you're dead, you're dead, you're dead, you're dead, you're dead, you're dead, you're dead, you're dead, you're dead, you're dead, you're dead, you're dead, you're dead, you're dead, you're dead, you're dead, you're dead, you're dead, you're dead, you're dead, you're dead, you're dead, you're dead, you're dead, you're dead, you're dead, you're dead, you're dead, you're dead, you're dead, you're dead, you're dead, you're dead, you're dead, you're dead, you're dead, you're dead, you're dead, you're dead, you're dead, you're dead, you're dead, you're dead, you're dead, you're dead, you're dead, you're dead, you're dead, you're dead, you're dead, you're dead, you're dead, you're dead, you're dead, you're dead, you're dead, you're dead, you're dead, you're dead, you're dead, you're dead, you're dead, you're dead, you're dead, you're dead, you're dead, you're dead, you're dead, you're dead, you're dead, you're dead, you're dead, you're dead, you're dead, you're dead, you're dead, you're dead, you're dead, you're dead, you're dead, you're dead, you're dead, you're dead, dead, you're dead, you're dead, you're dead, you're dead, you're dead, you're dead, you're dead, you're dead, you're dead, you're dead, you more theatrics. My math is still snacking a little. Stacklist.
Next thing you hear will be a snack in the math.
I've lied, we giggled.
The next thing you hear is a snack in the math.
Hmm.
Can I get a Gensai?
Of course, sure.
Was it a M&M? No.
And it was a Smith chip.
It was a Smith chip.
Oh, I guess.
Not the opposite of M&M, but getting close.
It's a rangefinder.
Yeah, absolutely.
Yeah, a rangefinder. No, no, no.
All right. Next.
Can you put the whole Smith chips in your mouth?
I bit through it.
Is that a problem?
Okay, yeah, can you put the whole thing in your mouth?
No, I can't.
No, I can't.
I just thought if you...
I put the whole thing in my mouth, he's not going to hear much.
That's what he wants, him.
You want my lips closed?
Yeah, yeah, if I could. Sure.
Seems harder.
Okay, here you go.
Next one.
Going in now.
Pfft.
Pfft.
Pfft.
Pfft.
Pfft.
Was that a shape?
Oh, it's a pod.
I had a shape.
But, ah!
It was a square.
Round the square.
You need to get a pod.
There's a twix pod. You need to get 100% from now on. But you. You need to get a pot shot. I was a pod, there was a twix pod.
You need to get 100% from now on.
But you're, you're not getting, okay.
Got my round firing out.
So I'm not allowed to bite through them at all.
You want the whole thing in the mouth.
Yeah, whole thing in the mouth.
If you're in the mouth, if you could.
And a little bit slower chewing if that's around.
Enjoy your food, mate.
Sure, be present.
Enjoy the taste.
Here we go.
I'm pretty quite... Can I get that again, sir? Yeah.
I'm trying to get that look close.
Sorry.
No, I'm just not going to think.
Yeah, yeah.
You're going to need it at the normal way, I would.
Yeah, I think that's a bit of a pro.
Okay, here we go.
Nothing's happened yet.
Okay, that was a...
Dorado?
No, I'm just saying.
That's what the peanut even in.
So now you're in dangerous territory to join our wall of shame.
We can close the room.
So it's your...
You're getting close to the Simpson's guy.
I don't know who he's currently on the wall of shame
because it is a perpetual trophy, isn't it?
Yeah, you knocked the previous person off.
So someone will be absolutely cheering you on here to fail.
At Radio Michael, get us back.
Okay, ready?
Well, Hame gets to see him.
Come on, two more.
Two more, here we go.
There, that was an I.O.
That was really good one.
Yes!
That was really good at eye out.
I took a bit of artistic license there, and they did bite through it because I just wouldn't
put a whole lot of it in my mouth.
Exactly.
Well, I mean, Radio Mike probably has now who the person was.
Joel, the World Counts Special School, episode 169.
Yeah. Joel remains the dun World Counts Special School, episode 169.
Joel remains the dance of the show.
He and his family would have been excited,
but this one's just for on to mate, last one.
Here we go, ready?
Yep.
Mm.
Last cracker.
Oh, no, that's a red rock.
That was a red rock, telly.
Yeah. One from five.
And what five was that, honey soy chicken?
Gosh, yeah.
Why do they make it?
Honey soy, yeah, not for you.
I like that, honey soy.
The best out of all the flavors.
Not the best, but why do they make it?
Because people like chain.
No, they don't.
This is a deep-bladed song, pretty girl.
I'm going to have a pod to watch that out.
Sorry, Alex.
We'll send you a token of no value.
We attribute no value to it whatsoever,
but do it that way you want.
Cool.
Thanks, guys.
You used a great effort.
Wasn't?
No, wasn't.
No, you could hear Cleak Essing, couldn't you?
MUSIC
Hey, we've become a place that correct advertisements that have perhaps taken a leap too far. And I've kind of scrutinized them.
Yeah.
And doesn't have to all be Shane Jacobson based.
No.
The most interesting one was the industry superfund.
We played one a few weeks back where two guys, one looked like his moving house and the
other guys on the street.
And it kind of looks like they're not talking each other, they are talking to each other.
And then...
Well, the common trick, and this is a hard one because this requires such a visual,
you know, it's such a visual thing that they go for in the industry superfunds ads.
And it's their thing and they've developed it and we say, good on them.
And you instantly recognize, yeah, but both actors, it's a split screen.
Both actors are looking straight down the camera barrel.
So you see the conversation, point of view.
And then slowly towards the end of the ad,
both camera angles in the split screen
will rotate around until they form the one shot.
And you realize, oh, actually these people,
you see them standing face to face,
and they're comparing each other. The scrutiny that we had with the one, the moving house one,
a couple of weeks ago, was during the conversation, going the left reaches out, puts his hand on
going the right shoulder. And you still seeing this POV. So one guy's kind of reaching towards camera,
and then you see a hand coming out of the camera and resting on the shoulder.
He then takes his hand down.
Then we then spin around and we see the side on the shot
and you realize they're actually standing
good two meters away from each other.
And they haven't moved because we would have seen them
take this step.
We know on the day, you're obviously filming it
in different locations, the other person's not there,
but it does force the viewer to conclude the guy that reached
out and put his hand on the shoulder has at least two meter long hour. And if that is the
case, are we meant to believe the man that had the hand placed on his shoulder? Are we meant
to believe that he continued talking about
super fun, about going, she's made holy fat. Look at your arm.
How long is your army? Wow. Yeah, it's actually, well, he doesn't do that.
Maybe there were good mates for a long time. So he got used to how long he was.
I still, I still, you're on a posit that even so you'd still your eye would still
Flinch and look at it if I did super log out when we're hanging out in the
long 20 years never get sick of looking at it you would still see the slightest
flicker in my eyes of wow of course I wouldn't make you feel self conscious about
it but I would still be going there it is. I don't know if you did make me feel self conscious about it I'd give you a slap
from a hell of it. No it's not. I'm a little less nemaled in I don't have the name so I apologise
but it's the compare the pair industry super funds they've been out of again and in one of the
other ads were two girls or two ladies are having a chat.
Looks like they're in a mall.
Yep.
The same trick is employed where one of them
will tap the other on the shoulder.
But in that, as they pan around and it becomes one shot,
it looks like an even longer arm.
So, Jacko, you play it now and then we'll have a watch on.
Have a look.
Come on!
Get yourself something new.
Do you think so?
You'll love it!
What are you so first for a check?
Is the tab okay? There's the shelf.
They're in the split screen at the moment.
Same income.
Now if we're rotating around.
With a Lucy switch to our...
Yeah, that's 2.2 meters.
One's at the down escalator, escalator, the up escalator.
It's not too late, son.
I've just noticed, we've got a theme where one travels up each time.
The other guy put the end of his removing truck up,
and then she's going up and escalating.
But I would say that's even a longer arm.
Not as much as three meters, but certainly well-evident.
Here's the thing, we understand why one's traveling up one's traveling down.
Now, the creative teams obviously had to come up with that because they're saying one fund will appreciate.
Yep.
And you know, or you'll stay the same.
They probably can't make the other person go down because that would be a bit false advertising.
Are you losing money in other super funds?
But the other person's staying still.
Yep.
And whoever's with industry super is moving up in some way.
Now I appreciate, if you're the ad agency,
you'd be like, look, there's not a ton of situations
where two people are chatting,
then one of them starts rising into the air.
When you got, we've got, removal trucks are very good one.
I don't know if I would have thought of that.
I think S-Glad is at the shopping centers.
That's one, a year old, you lift with the cage in the fun
where you can still be talking
to someone, cherry pick it, maybe if they're like, um, council workers or something for fixing
the power lines.
They're probably a couple of ads off a right at a fair, where someone suddenly goes off
on the rollercoaster or something.
Yeah, maybe you know, someone's having a chat while in turns out one of the guys is, um,
broken his leg hiking and then he's being a medievact out.
Which stuff?
Which stuff and out as they're continuing to chat about this.
We had a lot of questions.
We wondered whether the, did it go to the top?
Did just the marketing team at industry distributed, they realised with the advertising team?
Or we've become fascinated with the internal arguments that must have happened
because you definitely would have had two camps. Someone from the creative team going, I like the
shoves, I like it when they touch each other. I don't think viewers will notice. They're then like
miles apart when you spin around and see them. And then another team going, I just think we're at
me a can of worms. You why do we have to have them touching? We already have a clever bit in the ad.
We're one of the mason's at the end.
We're going for too much, making them touch.
Hey, I'm joining us right now is fellow called Bernie Dean.
He is the chief executive at industry.
So, oh, God, on the top.
Oh, how are you, Bernie?
Good, I'm just an Andy.
Good to be with you.
I love we'd have you on.
Thank you, Bernie.
And thank you for sorry for having to sit through
that to listen to her, but it probably gives you
a good grounding of where we're at so far in this journey.
Disciple your ads.
Bernie, first up.
Yep.
Was it discussed?
It was more than discussed, and there
was a huge debate.
It was in a very small edit suite, down in South Melbourne.
It was the editor that's rolling through the
raw footage on the screen. There's us in the room and there's also the director. And the editor
kind of says, oh, I don't know about this. Somebody's going to find out the arms of the actors have
been very long. The director automatically goes into Hollywood
boat. You know, this is my vision. He's been a lot of time, you know, explaining how the
camera angles worked and everything else. We can't miss a vision. And then myself and
the marketing manager in the background just saying, they're not going to know. They're
looking at the dollar signs. And the editors saying,, no, they're gonna know, we're gonna get formed out.
Well, you're all kind of right.
We didn't know.
Like, you're all kind of right.
We didn't know.
Like, you're all kind of right.
That's what I've seen those ads before.
And it's just one of the, it did require a,
it was a listener that went hang on a sec.
Something's up here.
It was five years ago.
So I think
that the ad has been seen about 95 million times and we've been sprung. So about four
and a half years down. I mean, first of all, two things. Well, as a CEO, of someone that
manages a lot of money and obviously takes it as a great honor and responsibility to manage
a lot of money, this is the biggest scandal of your career. You're looking good.
As far as corporate scandals go, it's going to be one of the good ones.
All the ads that we produce here actually, industry super funds, we do try and engage the
viewers. We've had money appearing in people's hands, we've had the compare the pair.
It's always a challenge to get engagement, but it's even more rewarding when you have, We've had money appearing in people's hands, we've had the compare, the peer.
It's always a challenge to get engagement,
but it's even more rewarding when you have,
do have a camera trick that goes on for years and years
and nobody actually notices it until I've risked my cold skin
and says that's, that's anatomically incorrect.
What I was gonna say was,
I mean, do you feel relieved now that it's out in the open
and you can move on tremendous relief.
I can look at my children in the eye and say that,
you know, I'm an honest, I'm an honest person.
This is kind of where all humans and we sometimes make editing leaps.
But when we have what's got a continuity issue
is something that we're filmed, I tend to go home
and I show my girlfriend
and I show her the bit and then I stop and I go,
what do you think of that?
Oh, it's fine.
I'll show it to you again.
And if I get there, it's fine twice.
I feel like let's just let it go.
Did you ask anyone else like,
did you test it on your kids or your partner?
We do family focus group tests on all of our ads and if they
pass that generally speaking, they're going to fly. But when we came out of that edit
suite, or I remember talking to the director of marketing and saying, do you really reckon
that we'll get away with this? And she said, well, let's hope so.
Wow.
Wow.
Because that didn't mean we did you have to.
How do you know?
What on length do you think both people?
Please sketch what you think this man's proportions are.
One of the original ideas, one of the original ideas actually had two people in what they call
them, the trolley cars between mountains outside by side. So the arm would have been about
four or five years ago. We thought that that actually, the cable car, we thought that that was
actually stretching it a bit too far, literally. I'd like to see you go. I would like to see you go for it.
Like to have them on peaks, a joining peaks in an Alpine natural park.
And then like a nine kilometer stretch across.
Bernie, thank you so much for joining us, buddy.
No worries at all. See you later.
May your show as be lightened.
And yeah, I'd like to approach the budget oversight committee for the mission to pay for a very cheap airfare.
Well, that's available.
Well, I'll say, cheapest available.
One very cheap, cheapest available, Uber or cheaper car transfer to the studio and then
straight back to the airport and flight a Melbourne to Sydney for especially not for me
I'm not for me you know and I fly a lot to go most expensive available
It is for me to wear it is for especially if it's on the comedy guard Amelia Fraser
She's filled out the valued and important podcasters
Yeah form at the website she has a special skill. I believe it to be worthy. What is it?
Lashing out on the flight and we need her in person in the studio.
Okay.
I think I'm going to let her introduce it. I've got it on the line here to plead her
case to kick loose the funds necessary to get her on the show.
Amelia, a hoi.
A hoi.
A hoi, Amelia.
You were good.
I'm really intrigued.
All Andy knows Amelia. I'm not sure if, I'm really intrigued. All Andy knows, Amelia,
I'm not sure if you could hear that, but he knows that we need to be in the studio for
this, we need to see it in person. It certainly can't be done over the phone. What can you do?
Okay, so my special skill is that I can poke anybody in the belly button for the first time
a hole in one. Through the T-shirt, I should say.
Through the T-shirt, what do you think is what I think is what I think.
Accurately, with 100% precision, get their belly button.
Through the clothing.
Through the clothing.
Okay, that's what's interesting.
If you're just walking along a beach and just knocking out belly buttons.
Not half naked people.
I think a lot of most of us could do that.
Well, this is interesting. Does it matter if it's an iny or an outy? It doesn't matter if it's
an iny or an outsy. Because you suspect, and of course, we, you know, of course, you know,
the hamichanese shows extremely inclusive, but I'm just saying physically, we love all,
all iny's outies, whatever you got, flatties got, there won't be someone that has no,
I don't know, I don't think you know,
I'm really good call it, how did you eat in the wound?
But you have disappearing, so ones that don't...
Don't I close over?
Well, really, really, really, really tiny ones.
But I'm just thinking with an outie,
you might hit it and slide off to the side.
Oh, it's got it's inbuilt, inbuilt dome of defense.
But it'll be also might be able to see it through a t-shirt,
depending on how protruding it is. Yes. It's been called.
No, I don't discriminate. So in these or outies, and yet they can be in a t-shirt, I would
just say no. It has to be a single layer of clothing and no bulky ski jackets or
pockets that all throw me. Roger that. Well, to me, yes, from me.
Yes, fantastic. Sorry, the single
A is good to me because no buttons or zips that could be including the how do you
find that you could do this, Amelia. So it started with me just trying to
annoy my boyfriend whenever we were in a lift or on an escalator or waiting in a
line or something like that. And we found that I was like,
sorry, Bill, you had Jack's just tried to do his own.
Just a prank, I got it.
I was trying to actually know as easy as you think to even get your own.
I tried to make Dord of this morning and I was way off.
You were just Jack was there trying away and then did that look with the thai?
Actually, and I reckon people listening right now will try it.
Be honest with yourself, we'll never know. I would say 50% of people would miss their own first time. So sorry,
Miley, I caught you off for Jack really distracted me for the meal. Go ahead. So yeah, it just started
off with me annoying my boyfriend basically. And, and then we realized that I was accurate 100% of
the time. And he thought maybe it was a bit of a special skill.
So I started doing it.
Yeah, I started poking everyone's belly buttons
or people that I thought might not be offended
might be doing so.
And hopefully I'm speaking.
Yeah, I did.
I did.
What are some of the tactics you're going off?
Okay, I can see where your waistband is there
and the belly buttons is it the curvature of the belly? Is it in relation to hundreds, some sort of chin toe, toe triangulation method
you go in like it always lies in here?
So it's body size, I mean, it's sort of a need to be honest.
I don't think too much assessment before I just go in.
Like how is trying drums?
Yeah, I don't do that.
It's about body size and body proportions. So
if someone has a particularly long torso, that might throw me a little bit, but I just sort of have
a look at their overall body proportion and then going to the poke. Amelia, do you look at how high
they're wearing their pants or shorts? Like would Steve Urkall throw you? I do, I do, I do look at how high they're wearing their pants or shorts. Like would Steve Erkall throw you? I do, I do, I do look at how high their pants are and that
will sort of help me judge where it is or if they're wearing a really long t-shirt
I'll take that into account as well. You've got to go off, yeah you can't be fooled by
him's and things like that because it's, I imagine you, your eyes are scanning past the fabric, you know, you're thinking about
the whole body, you're like the scanner at the airport. You don't care what someone's got on.
Yeah, you are. You can see the shape of their body. I mean, yeah, we can't wait to see you.
Eat before you ever going to play because food probably won't be included, but we look
for it. You know, you're a pack a lunch. Pack a lunch. No liquids.
Have you ever done a nipple?
Aye.
I know.
Ski more skill, isn't it?
Very different.
Never tried a nipple.
No.
You've checked over there doing he's a jacks one.
Maybe that's his skill.
Thanks, Amelia.
See you soon.
Look forward to it, guys.
Thank you. one, maybe that's his skill. Thanks to me on your stage soon. Look forward to it guys, thanks.
Thanks for listening. The Hamish Nandy podcast will return next week.
Catch up or contribute at hamishanandie.com.
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