Hamish & Andy - Hamish & Andy 2022 Ep 179

Episode Date: July 6, 2022

1. Lawyer chat - Can you trademark a smell? 2. The Belly Button Bandit – Amelia’s special skill 3. How do you dry your body? 4. Real-life fruit ninja 5. Spyra water pistols 

A list-knife production. Activate your internet. Cause the Hamish and the podcast starts in 3, 2, sorry, still buffering. 1. A hoi to me top laner, Hamish. That's me. I went to the bottom lane one I came for it. Yeah, straight back home to the top lane for me. Ahoi to me jungler jack. Oh, I do spend a lot of time out there It's tough you guys are never gonna get this. Tenkin bowling It's tough, you guys are never going to get this. Tenkin' Bowen.

I'm Lane One and I can't be moved. Jack's working the shoes, the jungle. Some sort of high ropes forth. It is, there's Top Lane, Jungle Mid-Lena and Bot Lane. We are positions in the League of Legends computer game. Okay. Yeah, a lot of people follow. No, we're not getting it. I'm so glad we didn't find the next five minutes trying to guess that. Yes, and so we explain the lanes to us.

Apparently the top lane is the main lane you send your minions to battle or something like that, but that's as far as I got with hearing about this topic, but people be able to explain it to you in the street if you follow the road. I mean, that's okay, but we I know a lot of people play that game. And so right now we seem very relatable to them. Yes. Ahoi to Curtis as well, who went to Hamishnery.com and used the very easy to use upload system there.

For audio. Hi, Hamish and Andy, and Jack, hope you're all well. Curtis here, day six. So God just created us. Wow. I can't see you guys though. There's only one guy in a chick over there. I'll go say good day later. There is a serpent. He keeps beckoning me towards a tree. So I'll have a look at that in a little while. I'm sure that's all fine. The apples do look particularly tempting. I think it's a day off tomorrow. Yeah,

God's had a big week. It's been busy. Lots happened. So just uploading this now, hopefully you get it soon. And I'll see you around the garden. Cheers, boys. Interesting move from Curtis to insert himself as a mystery character. He doesn't see Adam and Eve. So he wasn't Adam. Yeah. So I guess. Someone had to write the story. That's true. So, okay, Adam, Eve. See, he wasn't Adam. Yeah. So I guess. Well someone had to write the story. That's true. So, okay, Adam, Eve and a scribe.

A scribe. What is the, what was the deal with the serpent? I don't. It was tempting Eve to the tree to eat the apple. Right. And that was the one rule that God gave him. Don't eat an apple. Don't eat an apple.

Which is one of the rules we get now very regularly. Keep the doctor away. Eat the apple. Eat the apple. I think there was a certain level of the floodgates opened once that apple was eaten. Yeah, but you could pick a worst food for to not to not it. It wasn't health based. Yeah, it would have been easier.

I mean, well, you've got to remember the time of riding. They didn't have many machines or like, you know, don't go to Papa Gino's pizza stall. Not the pizza. I think we asked you. I haven't even had a huge night. God, Not the pizza. That's the only thing we ask you. I haven't even had a huge night. God, starving. There's only one thing open. You know, it's gonna blame them.

That is Liza Papa G. Liza. Hey, last week on the show, there was something that shocked us. An alert listener had written in saying that the new Rex owner, Deodorant, smelt a lot like the fragrance Andy by Hamish. This was us during the testing last week. Oh, oh my God. It's very, it's that almost exactly the same.

It has a unmistakably similar tang. Well, you did the legal work for Andy by Hamish. Mm-hmm. What level of assurity that this scent wouldn't be replicated? How trademark is it? Maxine. So there you have it.

We think that the scent is very, very close. So we stated last week that we're gonna get a good trademark lawyer up to discuss whether you can trademark a cent. Joining us now hand our trademark lawyer, you probably haven't met him as much as I have because you didn't attend as many of the meetings. I'm on a need to know basis. And so far everything seems to have gone well still and oh, hey. Good day. How are you? Very good mate. Thank you for taking the time and thank you Andy for paying for this if there are fees to be Stephen

The one thing we didn't cover when we were talking about different trademarks after Hamish and I found that there was a lot of Falsmatch nice guy gone and that's how you and I ended up chatting one thing we we didn't cover off was, can you trademark a smell? That's the first thing we're going to ask you. Yes. Right. Well, figured you should be able to do. How has it actually risen down? Well, the law was changed in about 1996, and it said you could trademark smells,

although the word law uses it since, shapes, colors, and sounds. And with any trademark, you need to be able to represent it graphically in a sense that you need to be able to describe it so that someone else knows whether they are infringing your trademarks. So colors, what would be famous colors, if you ever worked on any of those stuff? Like Tiffany's blue is trademarked. Okay. Yep. Yeah. Well, even more importantly, Cadbury Purple.

Cadbury Purple? Yeah, didn't Cadbury Purple have a go at Darryl Lee for their purple? If you did, and there would be eventually two in the towel and we won that. Oh, you were part of that one. I worked on that case many years ago. So, Hame, you were in charge. People don't know this story, but you were in charge of Andy Bohemian. She bought out a fragrance without telling me.

You signed the contract. Well, you made me sign it. Well, here's another question then, Steven. We don't have to worry about this. I mean, can you just sign here? And I did. It was a... Oh, man, in Andy.

Oh, it sounds like, oh, gotcha. It was an A4 piece of cardboard, Stephen, with a small cutout in it. So he was a sound body in mind, you're on it, and I can attest to that. He then signed through the cardboard. I said, just trust me, it's a good thing on the other side. He signed through, I lifted up the cardboard to reveal the contract where he will

inquished his name and image for me to mark it as a fragrance. Well, then he's liable. He's a... God, I got it. Do you have many clients that came in that accidentally signed through the heavily redacted? Not many tried that one. That was good. So I do have you tied up that way. So then with the scent, what should Hamiya Shivdhan

to have made sure that we are protected? This is your route because you couldn't have done it. In other words, to try to protect the scent of an aftershave or a perfume, as a trademark would probably be impossible because the trademark is actually the product. In other words, it's the scent. And it's very hard to register a smell where you're not really using it as a trademark.

In other words, to register something as a trademark, it has to be used as a trademark. So you weren't really using the scent of your perfume products as a trademark. That was just the scent or the smell that people applied to themselves. I'm very confused. I'm not, but I have a pretty sharp legal mind. So go again for Andy. Let me give you an example.

When Cadbury tried to register its purple color, the trademarks office said, well, we know you've used hundreds of millions of samples, so you saw hundreds of millions of blocks of chocolate colored purple, but that doesn't mean you're using purple as a trademark. That's just the color of your blocks. And we went back and said to the trademarks office, no, no, no, no, no, no. Cadbury color purple is actually the corporate livery of Cadbury. You look at their trucks, their painted purple.

You look at the representants, their tires, their painted purple. Their note paper has got a purple stripe across the top. So they've actually adopted purple as an indicia of the company. That's true, it's a champion. It's an indicia. It's an indicia.

And he was going, oh, doesn't fit oh, doesn't fit in word all too long. Welcome to my world, Steve. So, what are we saying, though, is because anybody how much wasn't the main scent wasn't the main selling point, even though we were saying it's a smart casual fragrance for men. It's not a selling point question. It's what are people, how do people identify it as the source of the product is, and they

look at Andy and Hamish? That's the source. It's the two guys who we love. Most of us do anyway. That's your makeup. Thank you. So, that's the trademark Andy and Hamish. And if you had a picture or a nice photo on the front of the bottles or on the box,

that would have been an indicator of source. But not the actual scent itself. Not the chemical makeup of the scent. No, because you weren't filling that as a trademark. So because we weren't selling the scent is the trademark thing, do you think the geniuses at Reczone knew this? So they knew, look, as soon as we released this new coconut fragrance, this could kick off a scent cent war the likes of which we haven't seen since the linse Africa wars of 1994 Yeah, but

We've got Hamish and Andy here because they haven't registered it We've got him. It's like when did you ever see the flaming mo episode of the simpsons and What's it regularly the guys from tipsy McStagger are trying to get the recipe for flaming mo. Mo won't give it to them. They simply pour a flaming mo into a tube that goes into a briefcase and they go and analyze the contents of the flaming mo anyway. They steal the chemical makeup. Do you think, Roxana, possibly, not definitely, but possibly did that to our scent?

I would not want to accuse Rick Surnal of doing anything. Let me say, let me say that another party, be it Rick Surnal or anyone else, could have reverse engineered your cent quite legally. Quite legal. Quite legal. Quite legal. I was like, listen to that.

Thank you very much for joining us, buddy. Really appreciate it. It's a pleasure to enjoy the time. Take care, guys. Thank you very much for joining us, buddy. Really appreciate it. It's a pleasure enjoying the time. Take care, guys. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you and just telling us what you think you're the best at in the world but and not recognise correctly. That's this is the place to do an and we have a look at it. I have some amazing ones lately. Just great. We're really getting good areas for the skills.

Amelia's special skill, she can poke someone in the belly button through close. Identify where someone's belly button is 100% of the time. That's where she goes first time every time. And a bit of a few cracks at this before she came in, and we're about to hear the audio of Amelia's demo. I will say this, when someone gets it, it's so intimate. Yeah. Because you talk to someone, and then suddenly they are in a way inside. Yeah.

You know, if you've got any, yeah, absolutely. Yeah, so even this phrase, how is it just as sensitive? But, you know what you mean, but because there free. Daddy's is just as sensitive, but I know what you mean. But because there's, you need a belly button just right. And we don't really know what it's connected to back there, do we? Because it's a relic. Yeah. But it has that like electric feeling of a sequence, which is going to turn a bookcase

around and you can go, you can go down. But the nerves seem to run to the bottom of your stomach. Yeah. You're, you know, your ass, your feet, the back of your neck, like they run everywhere. Yeah, yeah. So it's a powerful trick to have. And we caught up with Amelia to put this skill to test. This exciting Amelia, welcome.

Okay. Amelia, it's an honor to have you here. Now, you are someone that has a natural hate I assume of unbilical cords, because they are standing in the way of the thing you want to touch which of course is the belly button. Or the navel, if you want. Or the navel.

Yeah, that's nice, too, for the medical term. So whilst when babies are born they still have their umbilical cord on for a few days, you can't get you that must infuriate you. It does. Yeah, I want it gone. Yeah, and when you hear it drop because when you hear the noise of that little bit of skin hitting the nursery floor, here we go. I'm on.

You're mine now. Now you've got what I want and I can touch it with the parents permission. Amelia, we talked about the skill and how it came about. It's going to be a three-from-three situation required. Is that what we're saying, him? Yeah. Jack, Hamish and I, you're a little shorter in stature. How do you...

Does that give you a better look at most belly buttons? So, I haven't really practiced on quite tall people like yourself, so it will be a bit of a challenge, but I do feel my height is an advantage for me when looking for the belly button. We were having a little go before you got here, and the technique we were using was sort of finger ready. Do you go finger ready? Yeah, finger ready.

And then we were sort of like step one, step in, and almost a, what's in fencing? What's that? Is that a lunge? Is that a parry, a thrust? Like a point straight in? Is that how you do it? It is, yeah, it's probably not as...

Do it on my hand, can you just wind it on that? Okay, so... That's what I like. I just wanted to make sure it was a confident fluid movement, not like a... No, no, it's... Yeah. Feeling around the bar.

That's seen like there was a fair bit of pressure on your hand. You'll be able to handle it, mate. You do provide these. She won't touch you, spy. Okay, this one, no one will pick us. Now, we think that we should stand in order where Hamish is last, because we've all looked at each other's belly buttons. We think Hamish is the hardest.

Okay. Yes. Jack thinks it's like flatter, like the piece you can put a little bit of bottom. Like Ned Kelly, filling a belly button. So that is a little bit harder to be more of a challenge, and the inny is the easiest. Yes, well, Jack will be first. Right, is it inny? But it'sys the easiest. Yes, well Jack will be first. Right, I mean, it's an ennys, but it's, you also are, it's hiding.

Yeah, it's kind of asleep. It's just, it's spits, it's pretty. Yeah, okay. Jack sees you, he'll go first, you can fit your whole fist in Jack's. It's not that bad, it's back in the salad bowl. Woo! He's here, it's actually, yeah, I can't be on a jump and perch, I'm in the hole.

Um, so he'll put him first. I got one other thing to add. There's been some resistance again from the boys on this one, but I think three out of three is what you're going for. However, I would like for one of us to have the, quote unquote, golden button, which will reveal at the end. Okay. The golden buttons were two.

And we'll find out at the end if you got say you only got two from three but we then reveal one of them was the golden button okay you will have three and I think that makes it more exciting for the fans at home yeah okay that adds quite a bit of entertainment value normally when we add the some of things I'm worried the length but this is fine but arguing with you about it will make it look so that's also my tactic I think having a golden button in play is exciting. I think it should be the person we discussed remember before me They came in we do We go

One time was of the essence All right, who wants the golden button? Now that we've mentioned my squinter, I was thinking it would be me, just because we talked about it. Yeah, but maybe that's too obvious. But also, she's gonna be trying to get it every time, so it doesn't really matter which one it is. No, but I was thinking, Jack,

it instincts Nelly, I want to be, but no. Jack, because she's so lovely. Jack's got the easiest bump. Like that's not that big. I don't know what you're talking about. That's a sweeping bump. Yeah, exactly. You know, in Star Wars, the thing that's wrote Luke Skywalker into that San Monskin and the desert near Jabba the Heart Sounds.

Sort of like that. Yeah, exactly. You don't probably need to take a water bowl for Luna, your dog's where you go. You can just light. collect-roan water. Anyway, I thought Jack just to give her a real fighting shot at her. I'm too hard. Jack's too easy.

Do we make it Andy? Do we make it fair? Also, if it's me, I feel like it's revealed too quickly. Or do we reveal at the end? Reveal at the end. Dr. The Fun for the fan. It's also, if it's not, we forgot which part was fun. You're right.

When we talk about the fun for the fans. I forgot which part was fun. You're right, when we talk about the fun aspect of it. If sooner she misses Jax, she's missed the double. And she's out. Yeah, so don't make sure we should make it. I know, hey, Mish. Like, it's actually far more exciting than Point to Jax now. Because he just pointed at me. You just just, if he's talking to you,

he's just much at me. Did something to Jax? For just too much at men. Give something to Jack. For those playing along at home, Amelia could see the boys through the window, and they were worried that pointing at each other was giving away who the golden button would be. It looks unnatural, like he wouldn't ever just towards me. Let's go check, man.

Yes. Let's go check. I'm linking. I can't. Let's go check. I'm linking. No, but is it me? Because I can be eaten. So say the thing it is. But Gishay the thing it isn't. Let's go name it. That's fabulous.

Well. You could think we're on a sketch. Again, for those playing along at home, if you're still confused after all that pointing, winking and talking, the golden button is Hamish. Yeah, we've decided who's gets the golden button. Okay. We're really easy.

Jack, you're over here? Okay. Can we pull our t-shirt down? So it doesn't display too much of the curvature of the stomach or... I think so. So preferably it have hands by a side. Look at that. You have it with it?

Yeah, that's perfect. And can I stipulate that if it lands on the edge of the belly button and slides in, that's a win. Room shots are legal. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, it's possible. Yeah, exactly. So do you keep your finger there and we slide the top up

around it? Usually it's just the honest system that you say it's in. Yeah, okay, great. Okay, good. Amelia, this is my size of her. She's sizing Jack up, she's trying, she's looking at her toes, her head, and her two-paces away.

She's starting to work in. Wheeeee! Jack, a little off. You're close, but you're not in. I can't keep it right there. It was right there. It just felt a little bit of shock. Oh, it's not. Oh, man. Should you go again because she just felt like I think you feel something in your belly button. It's not like, okay. I feel like Jack was unsure, but okay.

I just didn't want to let you down. I didn't feel like I was in there. I didn't feel like it was in there. That's all right. We don't know where the Jack was. This is why this is the something of the girl. Okay, I'm going to drop my arms down along the side. Me, you guys have to take over commentary.

Just for people, I'm wondering if you can see the outlining of any sight's rotation. You can't lose the fit-tations. It's like a very good t-shirt, so whilst touching the common man's, it must be nice to have those five bucks. Sorry. Oh, it's just, she's touched. She's touched. Andy believes it's too low.

Low. There you are. Yeah. Oh, God. She's got a false read. She's probably... And I've got a male and you just below my belly button. So maybe that's for you.

That's what I was about to add. You're like a female. Okay, here we go. Okay. Now. Hey, Mish. It's relaxed Okay. Now, Hamish is relaxed. And Hamish is by far the hardest one. Oh, hardly anywhere for a finger to fit.

It's like a full court shot. Use your little finger. I think I should use the pinky. Are you an Afro game? Yeah. Yeah. Ham? Unfortunately, you. Yeah. Yeah. Hey, I'm fortunate that you are low. Oh!

Oh! I'm so glad we saw that. Harry, low, yes. And I was the golden button. That was fun. You didn't see how fun it was. It wasn't the most fun words if you got any and got mine. And then I tried to use the golden button. That would have been the most fun. I think it any and got mine and I told you I was the golden button

That would have been the most fun. I think it's the height to think that's That's where two of you were low on everyone. You're not used to bellybutton. Do you want to have another go with me on my knees? Yeah, that's too low though. Surely Should you squat half squat? What about what it worked if we faced away and you went round like that? What if we face the way and you went round like that? No. Like you're picking the pocket. I don't think so. Well, Mike's our shortest guy.

Okay, here we go. Yeah. And then we'll reveal at the end if he was the platinum button. Mike get in here quickly. Could you have the platinum button? He also has a shirt tucked in which might be an advantage. All right. Okay.

Good luck, Amelia. Actually, we can't say how much the platinum button is. Would you mind just opening the shirt? Is that OK? Yeah, thanks. OK, great. Good luck, Mike. Just for people at home, Mike didn't take his top off completely,

because they would have been too easy to say a challenge. Just handspaced. Just relax. Good luck, Mike. Thank you. This is more her heart, you can see. She is directly in my belly button She needed three to win the fight that button was worth two and a half

The lies are most but we got to witness one This week Amelia you can't say that you can do this But you did a bit but you you can say you have done it. Yeah, you can't say that you can do this. But you did it a bit, but you can say you have done it. You can't say that you do it regularly. You haven't won anything, but we'll give you a token of no value. We don't put any value on that whatsoever. But as the rule state, you're welcome to once you've left the building. Absolutely. And you can put it on your boat.

And you say things like, oh, it's my bronze button. Because after this golden button will become a thing. You'll hear people talk about a lot. Thanks for coming. Thank you. Great job. Really good job. Thanks Mike.

That's good. Thanks Jack. Good try. Gentlemen. I come to you. I come to your humbly, I suppose. I come to you, I come to your humbly, I suppose, come to you for help, for advice, amongst men, man to man, you've come to the right place. You are all owners of bodies, wonderful bodies, lovely bodies. Well, I mean, I've got some issues at times. Yes, yours is a bit of a dud. You know, you know, you know, you're up to the last whole several times. Yeah,

yeah. Rhapsody, Eureita. Yep. Yeah. Certainly anything. Is you seem to have cursed at underpants in olden, shoulder exercises? Sure. That's true. That happens. But as, we've all, you know, as drivers of the human body, it is, it is moisture related. I've noticed and I get this feedback from Zoolbert. You should have thought about that. You know it. I do know that. That's a Blake condition, two dance maximum, one dance for us otherwise. The repairable damage has been done to the thermostat.

One in Thailand, depending on the... Sure, outdoor bar fine, yes, indoor club in Thailand. If I did more than one dance in a tropical region, I might not stop sweating until I got home. But here's the issue showering. After the show, right, come out of the shower and quite often I will dry myself and I will get back to the bedroom. And as I'm pretty like, Andy's got something to go to bed. I'll realize I'm not dry. And I'll somehow get into bed and be like, oh, I've done it again. I've missed.

Now I am fast and loose. See, you've missed. I missed. I'm not, but no, no, it's wet. Okay, it's a bit shower wet. It's a shower wet. Okay. I'm not that much of a rigorous shower.

But I, I get in bed and I was like, what are you doing, what are you doing mate? You're not able to dry yourself. Yeah, you're 40 years old. Middle-year back. I Thought I've got a good pattern. So here's what I wanted to do I wanted to run a simulation here because you don't ever really get taught how to dry yourself. It's just something you pick up I guess over time. Yeah, let's run a simulation where all three of us Now I've just got to use words to describe how we're drawing our body.

I think it's, I think this would serve a purpose to the people that are listening probably it's a bit of a secret change. Well, I think I'm a very good dryer. I know that. You would be, I know that. You have that little squeegee in the shell. So you probably, you don't use that to you. The scraper.

I bet you do. But join us show you, I don't know how I'm doing. I like it, let's describe it to people. So for guys out there and I suppose girls as well, but people that are going, I'm not very good at drawing off my body or I do find I have some wetness left. Let's, okay, first of all, the shower's off. First thing I do, tell.

I like to stand, well actually, let's go before that. Stand and drain for five seconds. Oh, I actually do a sweep. So hand sweep while I'm still in the shower. And just one flick war rope. Do you know I've got a friend Mark who does a jump? What? He does a jump.

He does it. Yeah. No, no, he did full two feet off the ground Marco. He does a jump. Well, that's dangerous. Yes, and after he had his bisectomy, he was really upset because he couldn't jump for a few weeks after he was like, it's ruining my drawing routine because I can't do my jump. I don't think it jumped necessarily. I will.

I said, Demaka, for longer hair, the key for me is to, because it's own wet sponge up the top there is, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, real to water tower. Yeah. And make sure I kind of release much water for you in a hair as possible. So you get the hair wet in the south too. So yeah, I'm out. Here we are all standing there, we're all, you know, looking at each other, nodding.

Oh, Jack, congrats on the other episode. And yeah, tell in definitely hair first, because that's your first thing, like you've got to eliminate that storage of water up the top. Hair first, yeah. I will then, then just from think, I'll then wrap it around my back like a shawl.

Really? Okay. Okay, go into the back and forth movement across you do the shoulder and the neck. Okay. That's your back. Then I take the tail, bring it around to the front. So I do the top of the chest,

then you're going down the arms, you've got both arms. So now you should have both arms, you're shoulders, top of your chest, and the top of your back dry. Right, so you're... Because I'm working from top down. Yeah, I don't do that. You don't work from top down?

No, no. I go, um, um, front, because my ears always gonna continue dripping down the back. So if I do that, it just continues dripping. What? And so... Interesting. So I leave back almost the last.

This might be what I'm going wrong because I believe I've got everything dry. I believe it's, I like it like when your car comes through the end of the dryer and the car wash, the automatic car wash, I believe I'm just visualizing like it's just blowing it all down the body. So then I do arm arm, I'll do my tummy. Yes. Then I'll wrap the towel around my back again, but under my arms, okay. And with a ferocious pressure, which I'm, this is what I'm like, how could I be getting this wrong? I will drag it down my back.

And so that's like absolutely right in the back. Finding interesting there, though, is Hamish was describing, he's kind of as if he's holding an armchair, he's arms are like that. It's tucked under the armpits tight. Yes, but I go with where I've already dried. But if you've got a crease in your back and you would have to hold that, you'd be at a round the spine.

I ran the spine. I was gonna say you ran the spine. You sure? I ran the spine. I'm sitting down, man. I don't often get dry and dry myself with a t-shirt and jeans on that. He's beginning to round the spine.

My big cause that's one area, if you don't. Then water can get stuck in the spine. You know how this is made about the spine. So you've got a box gather. Yeah, I get it. I understand. And you know, if you develop your upper traps a lot, then you do have a real problem.

You have feet met at the moment. You've got a round in the spine. I understand the physical spot. OK, OK, let's assume I'm not. OK, maybe that's one area. So what I do is I go, You have a real friend, haven't you? You have a real friend, haven't you? You have a real friend, haven't you? You have a real friend, haven't you? You have a real friend, haven't you? You have a real friend, haven't you? You have a real friend, haven't you? You have a real friend, haven't you? You have a real friend, haven't you? You have a real friend, haven't you?

You have a real friend, haven't you? You have a real friend, haven't you? You have a real friend, haven't you? You have a real friend, haven't you? You have a real friend, haven't you? You have a real friend, haven't you? You have a real friend, haven't you? You have a real friend, haven't you?

You have a real friend, haven't you? You have a real friend, haven't you? You have a real friend, haven't you? You have a real friend, haven't you? You have a real friend, haven't you? You have a real friend, haven't you? You have a real friend, haven't you? You have a real friend, haven't you?

You have a real friend, haven't you? You have a real friend, haven't you? You have a real friend, haven't you? You have a the shoulder, and then, you know, like I can, you know, hammering up high, and then the low, and that's a floss from a hot, that's how I do it. But back then, again, I'm doing it dead last. Interesting. I guess so then I do that. Then I do that. Then I just simply go into the area I find I'm often surprisingly wet

after the shower, even though I'm positive I've dyed it is sort of my ass cheek to top side, far the ITB band, if anyone knows where your ITB is. So I ripped down, like, I've been getting quite a lot of ripped off. My legs off, I dried so hard. I honestly do that. Do, do, do, do,

again, I think it's where you're going. I think I'm, I think I'm, do that. And I'm just like rigorous on the leg. I am so rough on the legs. Get down to the bottom, do my calves, do my feet. Then I go, what, how could I have missed anything?

But somehow I get back to the bed. And my side thighs are wet. He's the problem. And I don't know how it's happening. Hamish was describing again, holding the towel as a horizontal band behind the back. No, never. For my, there it's bunched.

Yeah. Rough bunches. This is where you have to go individual legs. Yeah, I do. Well, you were holding, it looked like you had the talent. Well, you're not paying attention. I am. He is rough, rough, this.

He's like, almost like steel wool. Okay. Rough, rough, that side. And I'm looking at it going, where's the moisture? Yes. Get off me, because Jack, are you the same as your arts and side thigh? I don't bunch, but I always end up coming back to the,

yeah, under the cheeks is like, I know there's still gonna be some water there, even though I'll get down to the ankles, get down to the toes. I also don't think you have to scrunch the towel as much, guys. I don't scrunch, I try to... I bet Andy's got like folded perfectly in the spine in a brochure, fold. Just use the, like, in a scrunch, you might have little gaps in the towel. Just use the, like, if in a scrunch, you might have little gaps in the tatters.

Use the towel as, you know, it's off the surface of the table. A little surface area of it. And then go down that, this is, you're bending over then you're doing that, right? When you come back up, that's where you may get a little bit of that hair drip that goes straight back down the spine. You're making a huge channel that's already full of you. hair dripped. That goes straight back down the spine. Correct. And he down the spine. The grand cairn. You're looking at it because you haven't.

So it's flooding down the spine. It's an accident. Do you reckon it's maybe going down the spine in that channel, that hidden valley, then it hits the bum and it causes, it disperses across either side. And that's why I'm getting back to bed and I'm finding the top of my ass and the sides of my leg are wet again Try try flossing last Wow Could you come over

I love to see you come over at like 10 o'clock at night. Who's that? I and he's he's coming over to coach me on Try my body. I'd love to say keep thinking. He's like he's coming to to coach me. I'm trying my body. I'd love to. I keep coming to bed. Damn. And I am, by that stage, I'm getting angry because I'm like, where are you? Where are you still surviving on my body somewhere?

It's hiking water. Okay. So yeah, come over. Look forward to it. I'm just make sure, when you hear the shower on, do make sure it's me in there. So you're not accidentally offering up coaching desire. Who doesn't seem to need it?

You seem to know what she's doing. And a special skill submission has come to my side of the screen. Right. HiMashady.com, if you're seeing there, wondering whether you should submit a special skill submission has come to my side of the page. Hangis80.com, if you're seeing there wondering whether you should submit a special skill. And as we mentioned before, the emails deliberately get, but automatically is randomly 50-50. Some land, my side of the fence in my paddock

and Sam land in the well-plowed field for the endings side of the farm. And when we find one in our paddock, we will often wander to the fence and go, and Andy will get up from measuring the millimetres between his emails that he's planted, and come up and then walk over, go to his hand washing trough, get rid of his electric farm tractor, drive along the well, like the perfectly manicured driveway that has the exact canbering on the corner to get him around nicely with the lowest amount of energy drain on the battery

and he'll come to the fence. And we have a discussion like this. And I'll go, hey, this fence probably needs fixing. You said you were going to do it a little bit. I think this is a four-wire fence and I think with correct wire spacing we could do three and that would save us on wire cost And I'll go yeah sort of outmate Anyway, so I've got one here and as we lounge on the fence. Let me throw this at you His name is Sam and he got me he got me with a word that I haven't heard for a long time with a phrase and that is a phrase fruit ninja. Oh, you were big on fruit.

So you Jack, I was. Jack and I lost a few years of our life at least one year. I least one specific moment where we're waiting. Because I phone game by the way. I'm sorry, fruit ninja. I love to show a lot of people for me with a bit of fruit. It's pop up. Fruit's flying to the screen and just using a finger, which acts as a sword and you can buy upgradable swords.

I think Ruby was the strongest sword. You slice the fruit. If you get lots of fruit in one slice, two, three, four, five combo, that's worth more points. Seven was miraculous, wasn't it? Don't swipe a bomb. One particular incident where we were waiting for, you said you quickly go into the toilet,

we were waiting, we like it, you should be plenty of time. And after several minutes and the guests that arrived to interview, probably someone like Ryan Quentin from the first series of True Blood, I went back in and you were in the queue and you clearly were on a hot, sick, fricking adventure. I think I went for one solid minute, but you could feel yourself warming up. So you'd often play like 15 games in a row. But we had sensor lights in the toilet, and they'd gone off.

Right, Andy came in, the toilet was dark, and so the fluorescence group, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, and come on, and he's like, oh, he mustn't be in. He mustn't be in. Yes. Because I was in the dark, but I didn't need any other light. I had my screen. And I actually had a theory that the fluaros put me off.

So after about 10 minutes when the lights auto went off, you were in the dark and that's when you really got into the zone. So is he playing Fruit Ninja? So he's not playing Fruit Ninja still. Sorry. Got distracted. But he got me. He calls himself the fruit ninja still. Sorry, got distracted, but he got me. He calls himself the real fruit ninja.

He goes, I can perfectly chop fruit or vegetables in half. So much so that each half weighs exactly the same. Oh, weight-based chop. That is exciting. That actually wasn't the point of fruit ninja no matter where you hit the fruit. Yeah. But a weight-based chop.

So I'm assuming what he's saying is good. An apple. Boom. One side, 81 grams he's saying is got an apple. Boom. Yeah. One side, 81 grams, the other side, 81 grams. Can we talk to him about this? 160 feels heavy for an apple. No, but maybe who knows? I don't know what an apple was. We've got him online. Sam. Oh, hi. Oh, hi boys. How are you doing? Yeah, very good, man. Talk us through this. So do you Very good, man. Talk us through this. So do you know, like, say for an ample, apple, are you always cutting it, standing upright?

So you know, obviously, that's the better chance of going for symmetry or, or, or, or, you do one on its side and pick the point where, you know, say if it's a bit bulbous, like, you know, appears a better example, you pick the point along where you can make sure that they wait both halves way exactly the same. Yeah, that's a good question. Thank you. You know, the spherical fruits and vegetables are a lot easier because, you know, you can just kind of put them on

most of their points and you can get them. With an apple, for example, yeah, I definitely stand it up on its side. I'd give it a little bit of a study, hold the apple, you know, really, really zoning with the apple. And then look for that best equilibrium's point and just chop away. What fast dance music banana because it's got a hat, always, and the hat is lighter than the ass. So you have, you couldn't go midway along a banana because the piece with the ass would weigh the most I reckon, really. Yeah, yeah,

some of the some of the tough and fruit zone veggies, you know, banana, carrot, beef, beef. Yeah, because these are, they're not, you'd be hard to get it symmetrical lengthways. He's cutting it, you know, on its side. Do you? I've got a pretty sharp knife at home, which helps. Right, okay. Do you have to rest the knife on? That's what I want to know. I want to know, are you coming down through the air?

Is it a chop or are you placing the knife on the skin? You get happy with your point, then you apply pressure. It's a place the knife on, once it's on, it's not leaving. And then spray through. Once it's on, not leaving, that's precision. It is precision, I think it's obviously better, it's more shally to do a full chop, but the, yeah, the degree of skipping.

I'll give it a crack. No, I don't do that because I work hand in with that, without how many, within how many grams. Three are the side. Three grams. Three are the side. I was gonna give you five.

Three grams in the side. No, no, I'll tell you what, we'll give you five in the bonus round where you do the chop, the chop, the chop from where you don't get to rest the knife on the fruit. Sam, whereabouts do you live? I live in Melbourne. Great.

That's very cost effective. We could get, absolutely get you in. Cheap is available, petrol, which is getting to a bit more than flights at the moment. Sam, can we get, I mean, how busy, what do you do? What's your schedule like? I'm a sales exec, so I'm on the road all day. I'm pretty, we've got a few leads in here with love you to come and look at. What are you selling? Jolux paint. Yeah, I can't confirm or deny, but I might be interested in a few

leaders. Why not come in and take the meeting and while you're here? Yeah, how many fruits do we get put in front of him? Five. He has to get four out of five. How do you feel about that, Sam? Yeah, yeah, nice fun with me, boys. Okay. If you fluff it, you will have a chance at rapid charge with the bonus round where you'll be doing

a through the air shop and I'm throwing it up, but I mean like a nice head height. Yes, buff. And maybe make sure the nice got a good grip on it. Don't wanna like... Okay. How much paint do you have in the car? I got a river in life.

LAUGHTER All right, Sam, we'll see you soon. No worries, boys. Thank you. MUSIC MUSIC We've got to get out of here soon, but it's been requests to play the juping game again

from alert listeners at hamishney.com. We've won first and says that we go, is that just one person enjoying that game, but 98% of people don't. Multiple we start, oh he's pick up, we go, yeah, we'll play that game. If you own something, then is valuable, hit us at hamishney.com. If you don't, don't. This is not going to be easy. Or if you don't.

So I guess that's everyone. Yeah, that's everyone. So, but you have to enjoy the concept of telling us that you do have something valuable. Like, who was shoe wasn't we had? That always gets me there. Like, I've got like a passable player's shoe. And it wasn't like Jordan.

It was like Luke Longley. I've got a huge shoe or something. Like, yeah, that makes sense. Yeah, that was a great one. You didn't have it. So you either have or don't have something very valuable. We will chat to you and your job is to try and do us as to whether you have or don't have that item.

Hey, you said you wanted to catch us up on something. I've got an update for you. Ever since getting pretty heavily involved in the salt weapon game, this is with the bug assault, the salt weapon game. This is with the bugger salt, the shotgun that fires. It's normal table salt. How are you going to hear us, Jack? And not enough flies in winter.

Just not enough flies. That is true, that's right. You know, like any hunting season, have your seasons. Have your seasons. Would you? I honestly walked around for about half an hour with it cockeded ready to shoot.

I've done nothing. I've also I've also Loaded a different feeling. You want them back. I want them back now. So you used to annoy me, but now I want them. It is so crazy. That's how I sell it into people. I go, what if I told you there was a world where you would want flies in the house. And that I mean, that's your opening pitch. Yeah. But you've got a dog. Could you put a dog poo in the house? And I could try a dog poo in the house. That's a little...

As a little... As a little... As a little... As a little... As a little... I don't know why you... They say it's good luck. I was like, why would you treat the dog?

Yeah, that's a high risk shot though. If you're shooting the poo, that would cause some bounce, possibly. It's a lot of... Yeah. Because the more the... The chamber's filled up with salt, the more powerful the shot is. I mean, they say it lasts 80 shots, but you do get more powerful shots at the start of, yeah, the first 10.

Anyway, it's just been an absolute. Again, this is crazy. I don't know. Did I mention this last time I was talking about the gun? We've been blessed with weevils, which usually is a pain in the heart. You know, wheat weevils? Yeah. How they, like, they're in pasta and stuff and once they're in your pantry, you're like, you basically is a pain in the heart. You know wheat weevils? How they're in pasta and stuff.

And once they're in your pantry, you're like, you're basically up to throw it every day. And I'm trying to hunt them into extinction. You open the cupboard, and normally, like this was my absolute pain of my life. Like ever since share housing, and sometimes we had more weevils than food back in the share housing days.

But you open it up and there's like 10, just quietly sitting on the roof of the pantry. There you go. And you're like, oh my god, we've got an infestation. Now I just quietly go to the gun rack, come back in and all the absolute mayhem in there. He's just there. So when you go to fill up with salt again and there's weevils in the salt and then now I'm shooting their comrades with their dead bodies.

Pretty grim, pretty grim. But that, I mean, they are absolute sitting ducks. And you can shoot them out of the air pretty easily too. So my wish for people that knew to the bug assault, knew to the assault, the bug killing assault rifle game is pray for weevils, or great training insects. Before you get some of those fast moving summer flies. I do know you mean, Jack,

as we come into spring though, the fly has come back without slower for a few weeks. So you'll be getting your eye and it's the flies are getting ready, and then it'll be a great competition ever summer. However, since I got in this camera, I think people see my Instagram DMs as the one stop shop to alert me about weapons,

novelty weapons. And at Novelty weapons. Yeah. And at first I was like, oh guys, you know, hey, come on, there's more to me than that. But as I was going through the weapons, I thought, is there more to me? Yeah, I want to think this is all I am because I love all these weapons

that people are sending in. So what else are we going? Marshmallow crossbows. What? Simple, simple thing. I got to come from Canada at the moment. House, just a normal marshmallow, right? Because it's under the, wouldn't it be fun with the kids camping vibe?

It's wasteful for marshmallows. I do acknowledge that. But when you think about how much nerf boards cost and you do seem to lose those somehow. So it's just soft, isn't it? Yeah, somehow as a man that's bought, I'd say, I have a 500 rounds of nerve-harmium ignition. Yeah. You're like, where is it in here? We don't play outside. Mm-hmm.

We cannot find any more bullets. Yes. Where are they? Yeah. It's just quite amazing where nerve bullets go. Like, are we going to open an air conditioning vendor? We're going to be like, 800 in there. So the marshmallow, you sort of pull the string back

like an all-crossbow, and it's really just a kind of a clip that holds the marshmallow in place. Press it, gets flung by the rope. Interesting to see the accuracy of that. That's what I think, too. I don't expect huge accuracy. And it's sort of like a worry, especially with younger kids, you know, even looking at the picture,

I'm like, it begs you to hold your mouth open and try and shoot. It's just asking for that. And it's going to go high velocity. There will be choking. So there's probably a whole bunch of instructions on that. But I was like, let's get to, let's get to, let's see how they go.

The other one, and I sort of want to do this as a PSA because I reckon I get 10 of these a day. There's this thing on Instagram on different accounts, like sometimes there are other stuff. It's called the Spirer water pistol. And you might have seen it, it's like a battery powered with a pistol, you put the thing in the muzzle in the water and it like drinks it up.

And it charges it up to 100%. And it's built into the world's most powerful water pistol. Right? And so it's like, you fire it and you can hear that it's sort of like battery operand and it kind of like clunks in there. And it's like, how are you allowing kids toys off the patio and stuff on the out? So it's a electric water pistol. It's got some sort of like battery-operant and it kind of like clunks in there. And it's like, how you're blowing kids' toys off the patio and stuff on the out. So it's a little electric water pistol.

It's got some sort of battery in it, I think, whether it like builds the pressure up and like released, it's like a bolt of water that comes out. And it looks ferocious. Is it a fire rounds or is it continued? It's just like once, yeah, you like, for as I think as long as you depress the trigger,

it's like, it looks kind of like a laser, with water that's coming out. So you're looking like, all right, you get one of those coming? Well, I look at it and I'm like, guys, I'm just gonna buy anything you send me, right? Like I'm not just this idiot that just falls for, no, I've got, I actually have some self-restraint.

I'm not just this vessel that will, how many? Two. Two, red and blue. The dual pack. They ain't cheap. They ain't cheap. I can never tell the kids how much they cost. Two weeks. Thanks for listening. The Hamish Nandy podcast will return next week. Catch up or contribute at hamishanandie.com.