Hamish & Andy - Hamish & Andy 2022 Ep 180
Episode Date: July 13, 20221. Showing Zoë a magic trick 2. Jack’s wedding invite 3. Sam the Fruit Ninja – special skill 4. Chomp Choir logistics 5. Body Drying update – 1 week later ...
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1.
A hoi-demy Puncher, Hamish.
Get out of me way or punch your face in.
I was gonna say that no matter what it was, anyway.
A Hoi-Dimmi Climber, Jack.
Oh, Hoi, and I'm much rather be the Climber.
Do you know who you are?
Punchers and climbers.
We're not from the hit video game Lemmings, are we?
No.
What if I put Sprinter in the mix?
Sprinter, puncher and gloves.
That were you, the Sprinter?
Well, I probably be the servant.
But the thing is, these are all in cycling teams,
but I think I'm just using the English equivalent
of what they're, I can't pronounce that.
I've never heard of a puncher. Yeah, right. I've heard of a puncture. That's a bad thing. That's what you're
saying. You don't want to be the puncture. No you don't want to be the puncture. You
definitely have climbers in you. You have sprinters you have sprinters and climbers
using a pro cycling team that is as bored I enjoy. Who's the puncture of our team here?
You think puncture. You know who I think? Yep. Mike, sometimes in meetings, when we're having fun,
I think he tries to get us right back on track,
but he's actually not the puncture.
He's the piece of glass that provides the puncture, isn't he?
Yeah, I mean, exactly.
Can pop the tires sometimes.
God, 10, 15, yeah, we know that.
So this morning, having fun.
So this morning during a belly laugh,
he's like the anti-applause sign.
So everyone, just like you guys got it's 10-15.
Does keep us on track?
We appreciate it.
We appreciate it.
Yeah.
And that's the opposite of a puncture.
They take you off track.
So it's tough.
It is tough.
I am a hoi also to a different mic.
So hang on, you were the servant?
Sorry, in the tent.
Was this a servant in pro-salking teams?
There is usually the most junior member the team has to ride back to the team cars
and get the food and the drinks and stuff
and bring them back to the peloton.
But during the race?
Yeah, like if it's two of fans, like, you know,
each stage like 200 Ks.
So there's feed signs.
Still calling backwards feels like you're going.
Even ride back was you slowed out a bit.
Oh, look at that.
I'm like, yes, turning around and riding the wrong way.
That's some servant.
Well, this is gonna be poor French pronunciation,
but also these are French terms.
Yeah, the roulier was the all-rounder,
the grimpeer, the climber, the puncture,
which is the puncture, the spin-tier,
which had a mechanism to print out.
And then the domestic,
domestic we use you to hear a lot, that's just the all-round rider... Domestiques we use, you hear a lot.
Matches the all-round rider.
Well, they've got in brackets servant a lot.
So the domestic, that's the rider.
So usually pro cycling teams, I mean, I don't know.
Tons of it, you know, eight guys, I think, or girls, roughly.
And the domestic is the one that will ride all day long.
Do all the hard work, lead out at the end, and then peel off.
They get no glory.
Right.
Peel off so the sprinter can have a crack at the finish.
That does really mean.
That's your domestic.
The savante.
And being a bit libyfoon is the guy that turns around
and writes the other way back for the food.
And, oh, he also, to Michael into HamishNewdy.com
to upload what he's been up to this week.
Oh, oh, hey, Hamish and Andy.
And a Mr. Jack Post.
Michael here from the IFW International Federation of Weasels.
I just wanted to apologize to you Mr. Jack Post for our delay in response.
I'm sure you can appreciate with the amount of evidence you put forth that it will take
some time to verify everything.
We have been in contact with your publisher who's confirmed the release of your new coffee table book,
Weasel Noobs.
We've also spoken to your lawyer who has confirmed
that David Feast, the cartoon TV show writer,
will now allow you to don the catchphrase,
I am Weasel.
Look, I'm gonna cut to the chase.
Thank you.
We've never seen a submission like yours.
The recommendation letters from Makita, Taylor Maid,
the charity you took all that beer from, it's overwhelming.
A lot of all this.
Exactly.
We formally approve your request to fast track you to our highest
ministerial position, P.W. President Weezel.
Oh, Ohio.
Due to COVID, we understand it may still be difficult for you to
come to the inauguration. So we will accept a declaration of the pledge of allegiance to the IFW
right now over the podcast. Congratulations Mr. President.
I maintain I'm just as much as a weasel as the next person. I'm just honest about it and I don't
be shy from it. I do love the charity you stole the beer from.
You're right.
And there's a lot more context in that.
That we can't unread today.
But if it's a true statement.
This is some truth, there's some not truth to it.
You're joking.
We have time.
I know, I know.
No, we don't.
You wanted to start the show today.
Well, I mean, I had a question.
Remember when I did the cool segment,
secrets of magic re-revealed?
No.
No.
No.
It was a one-off segment.
There's been quite a bit of chat.
Quite a bit of chat.
I'm not the main Hamish and Andy Reddit,
but sort of sub-reddits or secret reddits
on the dark web.
So you might not be able to find them.
But a few people have said to me in the street,
when you really enjoyed that segment,
secrets are magic.
So I told you about David Blaine's trick.
So I wasn't revealing the secret,
but I was bringing the revelation of the secret
to a wider audience.
So I was re-revealing the secret.
You watched some kind of show or read something that I just heard.
Revealing a secret.
And then you would re reveal it as
yes yeah I was revealing it to a wider audience now for that one that was about
David brain being suspended in the box it's right above London I think it was
yeah and everyone's like how's he doing it he's up there no I think he was
for no I think it was not he wasn't wearing much because otherwise
people would be like oh he's he's got Mentos and he's popping up.
The full nutrition or palette.
She's not a bad idea for Mentos because they are low in nutrition.
Exactly.
But if that's not their marketing angle, they don't go either way on nutrition as a marketing angle, I guess they go on mintiness.
But they should go, they should be able to get mentos, and they have the coloured mentos. You should be able to get
mentos. Yeah, mentos, full spec from nutrition. So the most nutritional palette you can have,
so it's a palette of full nutrition. That's a great idea. It's not going to be.
It's not going to be. It probably lies outside mentos as core values. So the most thing they advertise
was if you have one of our mints,
you can solve problems.
Remember the ads?
Yes.
Anyway, my point is I don't think David Bound was very much up there,
because otherwise people would suspect he was hiding food.
And no one knew how he was surviving for 30 days with no food, no water.
I re-revealed that he coated the inside of the box with a sugar,
a see-through sugar syrup, like a sugar film.
And he was doing licks.
But he was doing little licks at night,
giving him many mentors as well.
That's a new fridge.
How did that help the water situation?
He might have had a water pipe.
I actually think he did have a water pipe and a wee pipe.
I think he had a fluid in and a fluid's out.
Don't get him mixed up. Thank you. I think you're a live waterweed pot. Yeah, I think you had a fluid in and a fluids out.
Don't get it mixed up.
Yeah.
That like me just pissed in your water
and drank up a cup of your own weed.
Yeah, so, but I think for the calorie side of things
and see his body didn't completely.
Because you can go, a human can go 27 days of that food.
Yep, and it's midnight on the 27th.
Can only go, this is, I was reading this
the other day because I got my nephew asked me three to four days without water. Yeah,
you do. You need both. Yeah. And you should have them. Yeah. And if you can't get them.
So that's why I'm on a shoot in that film. So there maybe was getting some water in there.
Yeah, he was getting more. He would have been getting more. But I think that was the thing
everyone's like, this is, this is a huge feat of, essentially, starvation. But you didn't look to be losing too much weight either.
Like in the shoot, yeah.
Yeah.
Still he looks, anyway, that's a secret re-revealed.
Yeah, you get another one.
I don't have another one,
but I have another trick that I came across
that I'd love to reveal on the show,
or reveal it for the first time.
But my question is actually this,
imagine you at your busiestando, right?
Cause this happens a little bit in my household
with my wife, she's very busy.
She's got a big job.
And sometimes I'm not very busy.
Yeah, awful.
And the other day was a big one,
like she runs a skincare company,
they were launching a product.
Go to, go to.
So they're launching a new product,
that's a big time at GoTo.
The study door is closed at home.
That is a powerful message to the house.
That mum's working.
I saw, the algorithm feeds me
quite a lot of magicians on Instagram
because maybe the algorithm knows
that I'm interested in re-revealing tricks.
And I saw the most incredible trick.
And I think you can describe a magic trick on there quickly.
Here's what this guy did.
He gets a deck of cards, right?
Shows you that the cards, they're all,
it's a normal deck.
Does a casino shuffle?
So riffles, riffles, cut, cut, cut, riffles, riffles.
Does that, opens them up, takes one card.
It's a seven of clubs.
Put it back in the deck, riffles, does the casino shuffle again.
And it spreads them all out on the table.
Jumbles them all up as much as you can.
Spin's a poker chip, right?
And that like starts making its way around the cards.
It lands, it falls over, he doesn't touch it.
It just lets it spin wherever it wants to.
It lands, it's just full sort of at the edge
of the polar cards, it's touching the corner of one card.
He takes all the cards away.
It's the seven of clubs, but it's landed on.
He shows all the other cards. He's like, that'subs that it's landed on. He shows all the other cards.
He's like, that's great.
Okay, that is a great magic trick.
I'm watching this on Instagram.
I'm blown away.
Okay.
I gotta show it.
I gotta show it.
I gotta show it.
I gotta show it.
I gotta show it.
I gotta show it.
I gotta show it.
I gotta show it.
I gotta show it.
Yeah, yeah.
As I'm walking there, my brain's like,
I don't know. you don't have to show
I'm like, I think she'll say no at first because she doesn't understand how good the trick
could be. But when I get it under her nose, I think she's going to say, I appreciate this.
Like that has, that's cheered me up, you know, it's helped me, got me out of the focus
of all the work I was doing and it was a nice little treat for the day because I think,
you know, for you and I in here,
we're never so busy that you couldn't stop
to watch a great magic draw.
No way, no way.
And so I knocked, and she's like, yes,
like looking at me like, is it as a kid hurt themselves?
No, no, everything's fine.
Out on the outside world, can I quickly show you something?
And I think she thought it was like something important,
like an itinerary for a holiday or something,
or like a, I have an email I need to show her.
And she's like, well, no, what is this?
We sure as Instagram.
And I was scrolling down and back up
and just make the video stuff.
Like, just like, no, I don't have time for this.
Like, I think you do.
I think you, I think you all enjoy this trick.
And she was like, I mean, this is where you know
your audience. Yeah. For instance, this time to write your audience, but also Andy's in the other
world, trust the power of magic. There are times where I've felt to be turned up the pump busy,
and I've got the same door close, and then back will go knock on the door, and she'll say,
I won't be this good though. She'll go, come on look at Henry and I'm like, I know,
it's fine.
She'll say, come on look, come on and she'll be sleeping
on her back or something and I'll go, okay.
And then, to me just like, come on look again.
She's stretched out a bit further, like, no, no, no.
I don't want to see them.
But if you knocked on and said,
hey, have you seen his hole in one, I'd be going,
oh, yeah, I'll have a look at that.
So the person, I think they like.
And that's a great point.
That is a great point because,
she doesn't manage.
She doesn't manage.
She doesn't great to see your husband so happy as well.
But you can also give me a thing back to your wedding.
Yeah.
We're instead of a dance together,
you guys did magic tricks together.
Her enthusiasm for it. While she's doing it beautifully for you, Yeah, we're instead of a dance together you guys did magic tricks together
Who's yes, I'm for it while she's doing it beautifully for you. It felt like you
She forgot the reveal
Stage presence was so great. It didn't even matter. She's meant to open up the box to show my head to disappear during the trick She just put the thoughts in and took the swords out and got to open the boat. Yeah, it's different story
I can do that's a different sequence of magic, very revealed. There's mirrors in the box.
Spoiler alert, there's mirrors in the box.
Jeffrey, later it, later it, not I'm having a strong glass of brown with something
but some words guess I mean, and I go mate, that was fantastic.
Such a good day.
And home goes, so if. Zoe forgot the room.
I still have two half the trick which puts on
seemingly through my head.
That looked great.
It was the distance, you know,
there's a distancing issue,
I thought it was like, you know how that happened.
Yeah, she didn't open the front.
So she enjoys magic.
She knows about magic.
She's not good at doing it,
but she must know about it.
Yeah.
The problem is the trick I described is such a long trick.
The video goes for about a minute.
And so I was having a chance, he was, are you showing me magic trick?
And I go, yes, but wait, like, so you're not, and then, like, you talked over the front,
so I have to, just don't get, because he didn't hear him explain what he was going to do.
And she said, get this shit out of my face.
Wow.
Well, I'm not saying she went, she didn't like,
no, I've been there.
That was, you knew then, didn't you?
It had shades of horsemen.
So I'm like, that's exactly what I'm saying.
It's not exactly exact.
Quote.
Quote.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So you made, okay.
All right.
I guess I'll show you to you another time and then later on really busy to an
I don't have time for this at all even
That
Jack you want to jump back in here? I just you were talking just then about, uh, Haymesh's wedding and it sounded amazing.
What went on with the magic tricks and everything.
I don't think I've ever told you this, Hayme, but before you got married, we had a conversation
about your wedding because you wanted to learn a song and guitar.
That's right.
As a surprise for Zoe on the day.
Now, you didn't end up going through with that and learning that song. Yes. It felt too, it just felt wrong. That's
too hard to learn the guitar. You could have liked it. You could have liked it. I learned
the chord G and that's where I started the song Special G, which is just the G by Neil
Finn as well. From Cutterhouse. Then I was like this is getting, there's way more than G and it's already
hurting my fingers a bit doing G. And then I was like it was meant to be four so. And I was like it's
kind of, it just does a feel a bit like how guys I've learnt. So look at me look at me. Yeah it was a
bit too look at me. So you were with the G. Well then we did a magic trick together as we look at us.
That was our first dance. So you asked me to teach you guitar,
and I told you that I'd record.
I flooded it with a year.
But we were hanging out anyway, that night.
When, yeah, when we were hanging out,
you hadn't told anyone that the wedding was planned yet.
So you had to say, like, hey, just as a secret,
so I don't have planned our wedding.
And just so you know, it's really just gonna be small,
only like 20 people, family and friends,
and you were right on the cusp,
is what you said to me right on the cusp.
In the moment, I thought you meant,
I was right on the cusp and in.
LAUGHTER
It was like, it's so...
So I remember saying,
like, I think, thank you, man.
Thank you. You're like, yeah, it was hard to choose.
And I was like, yeah, thank you so much.
There's two pieces of the cusp.
When you make a cut, there's obviously there's the cut,
yeah, in both sides of the cut.
And one is the good cusp of one is,
depending on if you wanted to come on out,
one is the bad cusp, the cusp of unattendance.
And everything you followed up with
could still be seen
as I was invited, because you said, yeah,
it was very hard to choose who would come.
And I said, yeah, I bet.
I bet it was.
But I was included in that sauce, not in a lot of smiling.
The drink you knew.
It was, it was.
I maybe like 20, 25 minutes into the conversation.
Well, the drink you think was the rule for the wedding was it was just family and groomsmen
and bridesmaids.
Like there was no guests.
I had seven groomsmen and so I had about seven grooms, bridesmaids.
But yeah, that's that was there.
Yeah, so it must have been a round comment like that where I start thinking, well how do
I fit in as the only guest then who's not a groomsman?
I've been asked to be groomed, yeah.
Jack, really so picking me as a bride.
If I was to get married, would you expect to be invited?
I'd find it, yeah, but not a groom's man.
Yeah, not a groom's man, but now invited, yeah,
because now we've worked together 12, 13 years.
You wouldn't invite me.
Would you wouldn't invite me?
I didn't say that.
I just made a facial speech.
Yeah, he screwed up his nose.
I would expect.
Well, that means I was honored to be at your wedding
and guest DJed a set.
But I wasn't a groom's man.
No, well, I can't.
You'd like it to be invited the way you treated me.
I'm very excited to be in Brisbane.
Ha ha ha. Hey, me Ed Sam on the phone last week telling us of his special skill.
He can cut any fruit perfectly in halves that both half weighs exactly the same.
We love this partly because, and I've drawn to the idea of a very famous old iPhone game for it Ninja, I played a lot of it.
As a man, not as a child, as a fully grown man,
I played a lot of it.
But I want to see him real life, and we wanted to see this
in action.
He joined us earlier today in the podcasting studio kitchen.
Hey, I'm excited about this.
Sam, or who are you?
I'm Hoi Boys.
Welcome.
The stage is set and couldn't be greater. Hey, I'm excited about this. Sam, or who are you? I'm Hoi Boys. Welcome.
The stage is set and couldn't be greater.
We have mystery fruits under this black sheet here in the kitchen.
Two digital scales.
Yep.
Obviously, the goal here is, I mean, the weighing is going to be exciting.
In the sauce, fruit and half, we're going to see the weight of one side.
Then four lives will be on that second scale.
Very suspenseful.
It is, it is.
Is there a fruit you're hoping for?
You, great.
Tomato.
Really, I wouldn't, that doesn't stop.
It's swatch, it's soft.
If you can get last Femme tomato sharp knife,
that's a music to my ears.
But it really relies on that first strike, doesn't it?
It does, you got it, you got it.
I can't emphasize enough the pre-work.
I have to do to get in the zone with the fruit,
find the center point.
Yeah, if it's your emphasising it's cold.
Okay, so yeah, it's not just like boom.
Yeah, no, no.
I'm really hoping and I hope you haven't done a pineapple.
Well, I wouldn't do that.
I mean, that is it.
I like, we haven't done anything that requires two chopps either, like a watermelon
with the classic on fruit and ginger, but that's a lot of cutting.
Yeah, and for three grams, which is the margin of error,
they're heavy.
I thought you'd be hoping for like a bird's eye chili
or something, because there's a great,
there's a great pool.
Well, I was like, today even,
would it even be able to measure a grape?
It's pretty light.
You don't, you don't.
You don't need to just cut it.
If I go from like a raspberry, I'm like,
no, no, no, no, no.
You're not gonna have a tree light.
A tree hand, it'd be like, well, it's within three,
because it's a two-gram fruit.
True.
We were gonna bring your knife in, we've got,
we went and bought a brand new high quality knife.
Jack, do you want us to save a name of the knife
so you get three knives?
No, I actually have just bought a new knife set,
so I don't need knives.
Jack has opted not for us to mention the brand of the knife
because it's not interested in wheezing a knife.
That is very short.
Be sure, Jack, be sure.
I mean, I just feel silly if they said,
and I actually bought that brand, quite a little enough.
They've made good send you another set.
What brand is that?
If they could just send me the amount
of what I've paid for the knives back to me.
I'm a label.
Let's forget about this discussion.
Um.
We have got a nice knife for you.
It's a bit easy to imagine.
You can see how the resist the plugs when there's nothing in it.
It's not like Jack's just a friend of business.
He's just asked for money.
He's just asked for business for money.
This isn't easily, that's just begging.
All this hand to the knife.
Handle first.
Are you fine with that?
Just want to make sure you're comfy.
No, wait, wait, distribution seems good. Okay, weapon is in? Just want to make sure you're comfy. No wait wait distribution seems good
Okay, weapon is in your hand. We're now revealing the fruits
Okay, we've got lemon apple
zucchini which we thought you'd be happy with
Banana and carrot. Yeah, who would you like to go first?
Um, I think I probably go for out of five. We did say for out of five. There's also a bonus round
Yes, we get there. Oh, yes.
We get there.
Is there a separate fruit for that?
There is. It's a vegetable. I don't want to give too much away.
But it's been some discussion between Andy and me about the use of bonus rounds.
Is it, Andy's not keen on it.
I think it adds into table.
I think people have seen enough chopping.
But anyway, let's just get, let's just go.
Let's just go with the lemon. Yeah, I think the lemon's enough chopping wood. Anyway, let's just get to the end. Let's see how we can live in.
Yeah, I think the lemon's a good range finder.
Okay, so this is where you pick it up, do you?
Yeah, I might put the knife out.
He's put the knife down, he's staring it.
He's looking for little dimples, pimples.
Life, I suppose, yeah.
If one has an imperfection on one side,
you have to turn it over.
And the kind of where it naturally falls is off from the flutters.
He's holding it out in front of him and just rolling it.
You use your hand over a surface.
Well, I feel the weight.
How much are you making out waves?
Oh God.
Maybe 200 grams?
Okay.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I'm terrible with it.
The only thing I know is the sneakers is 45 grams.
I'd say it's about four sneakers then.
I wouldn't. You think it's 45 grams. I'd say it's about four sneakers then. Wouldn't.
You think it's 50 grams?
Under that?
I reckon it's about 50 or 60 grams, women.
Really?
You're not be four times off.
Do you want to say it?
Well, it's a good thing.
It's a good thing.
Jesus, pretty good, actually.
166 grams.
He's good.
He's good.
He's good.
OK.
Do you think I get much sneakers, do you?
OK. OK. Okay. Do you wanna get much thinker's do you? Okay.
Alright.
Okay.
That's the naturally fall.
Now are you planning on cutting,
I'm pulled a pole, I'm gonna go,
I'm gonna go to pull the pole.
Yeah, okay, you're interesting
because you can hit that little nut, the stem,
the nut stem.
Yeah.
I feel like this one's a bit easy.
I mean, he's just curled through.
It's just curled him in the heart.
Ha ha ha ha ha.
Did you like my fear of straight food?
Are we gonna know here?
82, he's close.
83.
He's done it, he's done it.
I can hear anything.
He has curled him in the heart.
He has curled him in the heart, has cut a lemon in half, Andy!
Hey, wishes given to him, I've gone.
I feel like anyone could have done that.
Have a crack so far.
Have a crack mate.
Why don't you try the other half?
Why don't you go caught it?
You caught it.
Okay.
Which would be very easy by the way.
Yeah, I mean, it's easier than a hole.
A lot easier.
I'll say I would have gone across the equator there.
I'm did well.
What do you want to party?
We'll edit that out.
So I'll give you a high five for that.
That's very easy because you have a line drawing.
It's all pretty easy.
Okay, it's the rangefinder though.
That's the rangefinder.
All right.
You see that you can do it.
He's doing it.
This is different. This is an apple that doesn't have its core dead right. You see that you can do it, he's doing it. This is different. This is different.
This is an apple that doesn't have its core dead center.
You notice that here?
It does, so if you like it on the front teeth.
Just like on the front teeth.
Just like on the front teeth.
Just like on the front teeth.
Just like on the front teeth.
Has it been an insight into what we were talking about
behind the ten minutes?
Ten minutes off here.
That's on the day-to-day extras.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
It's a Granny Smith apple everybody.
I've got a little natural flat point there with the bruise. It's a granny's mithaple everybody. I've got a little natural flat
point there with the bruise. There's a bruise and there's also much higher on one side.
And you're going pole to pole again? I'll go pole to pole again but it's about finding
that beat. Yeah it's a good one. Yeah. And he's annoyed. Well at the technique. All right.
He's doing what he should do.
What are you doing?
What are you doing?
I'm not a do-way, I just think.
Can you just hand it if you want?
OK, good luck.
That's a good slice.
I like the confidence.
Now, I'm just doing my boring bat.
It looks like that one on the right is going to be a bit heavier.
I'm bit nervous for you this one.
OK.
84? No, I'm not. Yeah, that's one be a bit heavier. I'm bit nervous for you this one. Okay, 84.
Yeah, I'm not.
Yeah, that's one.
That's one.
That's a density issue, I think.
Isn't that actually surprised me?
If it's not, it's actually made this
seem harder than I thought, Neil,
because I thought you nailed that.
Again, but as soon as you put them on their side,
look, we knew this was something.
And but also look at this quarter of it.
And it's terrible. You go back and it's got like this their side, look, we knew this was... And but also look at fat, this quarter, that is terrible.
You go back and it's got this whole side, that's density.
Oh, yeah, you needed to go that...
Ooh!
Okay.
Okay, now you're into the zucchini.
You've had your one free shot,
which does start bringing the bonus around
into players a bit more of an exciting thing.
That's true.
Now, the thing is, my knife at home, it's a bit longer, so I normally would go's true. Now, the thing is my knife at home.
It's a bit longer, so I normally would go like that.
We're trying to find pole to pole again.
On the zucchini.
On the zucchini.
OK.
But don't off, I've got the option here.
You can.
Can.
You just have to make your way along.
You have to do that, and then you've got
your whole element of the variation.
Yeah.
So I think I'm going to have to try this way.
You're going to have to go as a cany-ranny, quite often.
I have to go a quite often.
And you say you never do it this way though.
It's like, I normally would go this way.
But you've got to play on this game.
It's going, I know we're ball-right handed,
but I'm just going to, in the World Cup, which is this.
But what if he's only got his left hand?
That's true.
I've got no option but to go to this side.
This is amazing.
Absolutely huge judgment call, because obviously,
there's a candy that's much fatter at one end than the other.
Significantly.
I'll be so impressive if this is where I came from.
And I'm thinking about here.
Wow, wow, just off with the eye.
He's going, the density of it is going all well.
I would say it's two thirds down the zucchini.
I'm pretty happy with that.
Oh my god, if this is huge.
This is what you'd read more.
I am placing the bottom fat in.
I read 106 on the fat end.
He is the longest side.
One eleven.
It's so good.
Is that it?
Is that five?
That's five.
You did five?
We gotta give that.
That's five frames.
That's really good.
Really good.
Okay, thank you.
So now we're on to the banana.
This is gonna be better again.
Because as we discussed, bananas have hats.
They weigh less than the arse.
Do the hat weigh less than the arse?
Yeah, well, look how thin it is.
I mean, if, you know, instead of the thing.
If we're because it's similar to the zucchini
and that it goes fat there thin,
but the hat is longer than the arse.
I mean, lengthwise, as a, you know,
per centimeter of distance, it weighs a lot less.
The tuffy.
Okay. Am I allowed to weigh the a lot less. The tuffy.
Okay. Am I allowed to weigh the banana before hand?
No.
Well...
LAUGHTER
Um...
We haven't just had it.
I haven't done it yet.
I can do it.
I suppose, would there be any advantage to it?
I don't think so.
I think it's as fun to know your way.
Okay.
Put it on.
You can work.
As long as you don't divide the number by two in your head.
143. Get one hundred and half done divide the number by two in your head. 143.
Get one habit on that.
139.
It was 140.
Feel the weight.
Get that equilibrium.
Thinking around the same spot as this is a kind of relatively
similar ratio.
Really, a case if we're at home, we're at the stem end.
The tank about is getting a banana.
Across the sea, he's cutting in half as you would imagine.
Not pull the pole.
I'm the equator of the banana.
Okay, I worry for this one as well.
I'm relatively happy with that.
Just by hand feel.
It looks like there is a six meter.
Yeah, significantly less banana.
They'd be probably like that.
They can feel, I don't know.
253, 255th.
But again, I don't know how dense the stem of the stalk is.
That's got a count of something.
Hopping it on.
66.
172.
172.
One gram.
I can't give him that.
One gram.
I know you can't.
Which means you now need the bonus round to save you.
The account?
No.
I think it's straight to the bonus round.
Is there another fruit?
Well, yeah, I've got a bonus round.
Yeah, yeah.
I didn't do this.
Hasn't mentioned it.
Well, this is the thing you were against,
but now see how exciting it is.
We've been knocked out.
But with this egg plant, wow!
If you chop it without placing the knife first on the skin,
so we're talking, you can obviously do the feeling. Yeah, but you have to hire it for the skin. So we're talking, you have, you can obviously do your feeling, but you have
to hire for the bonus. Hand up here, hire! The extra points for giving, saying hire. You
get the same amount of points, but five, gram, variation, or assault minors. Okay, this
is exciting actually. He's now holding the eggplant. Everyone knows the jokes that are obvious, but let's not go down that path.
It's a dick.
If it is, I'd be concerned.
I'd be concerned, yeah, to be honest.
Let's see the doctor for that.
The choddy pee.
The grass on the GP.
The girthy penis.
Yeah, and also commiserations on the fact that you're GP's about to get slasped now.
And it's purple.
Hmm.
OK.
Sam is measuring it up.
He knows where he wants to hit on the over-chain.
Tiny little piece of skinny falling out there.
Yeah, this guy puts on Max make sure everyone's in safety position.
What's going on right?
They're actually better than I thought.
Yeah, I'm actually quite... oh, nah, it's well off.
Is it? It's well off.
What's heavier? That side, by significant, mate.
Oh, okay, if you call it exactly...
No, no.
You're just a hundred grams heavier. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy.
I'm so happy.
I'm so happy.
I'm so happy.
I'm so happy.
I'm so happy.
I'm so happy.
I'm so happy.
I'm so happy.
I'm so happy.
I'm so happy.
I'm so happy.
I'm so happy.
I'm so happy.
I'm so happy.
I'm so happy.
I'm so happy.
I'm so happy.
I'm so happy.
I'm so happy.
I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm alive. 10 off. 11 off.
11 off.
Well Sam, you and I both can't do this.
And I think I could, but we're at a time.
Dang it.
What I mean, you do get a ticket and no value bet.
You dig with some real excitement.
We don't attribute any value to it.
You may once you leave the building.
No good, I shall. And we love the bonus round.
Woo!
The bonus round.
And a little bit of an update on our plans to potentially have a chomp choir. Oh yes. Set it by the end of the year. At this
stage of the year's p-during, it is teetering on a p-during. Yeah. It's right on the edge
of becoming a p-dur out. Only because the last time we checked in, we only had eight people
registered for the choir. And I think that's that. I think more people come in. He's putting
up his hand like this, which that's tatering.
That's tatering.
You have to say more people have come in.
We can't go 50, 50 more people have come in.
We're not even sure if more people have come in.
Like, none of you selected excellent chumbers.
Like, do you have any, do you have any inkling
that more people are interested in joining the choir?
But you hand up how many people mark this?
He doesn it there.
25.
You can build a choir at a 25,
whether they're all put to action.
Now we're talking.
Yeah, now we're talking.
So you're right.
Basically, I am imagining Cysterect.
And you go, that many nuns,
as many people in our choir as there were nuns in Cysterect.
40 in Cyster Act?
40.
Yeah, more than eight.
That's what was concerning me last time I talked about it.
I put my hand, usually when these ideas come up and, with that many over the course of
our career, is where you sort of have a bit of a germ of an idea and then you go, okay,
how are we going to do this?
Usually someone takes the lead on logistics.
Yes.
Usually that's often new and or even a producer.
Yes. I put my hand up for this one and said, guys, I'll run logistics on this. Usually that's often new and or even a producer. I put my hand up
to this one and said, guys, I'll run logistics on this. It's one of my passions. And
why? Since I haven't had time to get my MBA, this is some good real world experience
as to run high level logistics. And how we're going to do the chump choir,
and if we want to do it at the Sydney Chump Browhouse,
how do you go about that?
Obviously, you assume the upper house
has some sort of person that runs bookings.
Yes.
It's not a first in best dress situation.
I'm sure they've got their own IKAL,
and it's very tightly managed.
I don't think.
I'd imagine it probably is first in best dress.
But if you book it, you probably get to hold that book in.
Maybe not.
I don't think it would be high risk for, you know, say the Sydney orchestra.
Yep.
To suddenly, on the eve of their thing, going, or Billy Joel's coming in now and you're
out. I think, I think, I think,
I think first thing would be.
So that's a great example of someone
that does often do the logistics,
knowing the way these things work.
And that's why I'm doing this is a great,
a great learning experience.
Well, it turns out there's a lot of different hoops
for the Sydney Opera House.
If you want,
if you wanna go to,
if you wanna play at the Opera House, you kind of have to,
you know, you've got to be serious.
You've got to be serious.
Well, we, you know, we are serious.
That choir just grew threefold, but before this, we don't, we, we, there's a lot of
things that we can't, we rang as a, our rang is just a man off the street.
But with, you know, with obviously keen to get the quiet thing in there. So there
are criteria you need to meet to perform at the upper house. But you need to have proven
experience performing at venues, which is where we might have to do a little bit of a
lying.
Yes, yes, yes. Or can we go and have a quick jam somewhere?
Yeah, James. Yeah, anyway.
I think line's probably the best option there.
Proven ticket sales?
Okay.
Never a little bit of a lie.
Let's just go back to that bucket of lies that we love, brother.
There is a lot of the places are booked with long theater seasons,
like a lot of the theaters are booked.
There are a few half days in the smaller venues. The Utsun Room, I believe it's pronounced.
He's available. That's a small venue. There's a few slots for that available.
How many people fit in the Utsun? Not lots. We looked online.
It kind of looks like a meeting room.
All right.
It'd be nice to play. You've done nice to say you've done the Opera House.
Very nice.
So we might go back to the eight man choir.
And just do the Uttan.
And do the Uttan and bring in the lucky eight listeners.
That's always an option.
Then I sort of said, oh, you know, I bet you have heaps of people that, you know, I was
trying to side with them, but I go, but you get heaps of people just coming and, you know, going on the steps of the opera house and just seeing in there to,
to, um, just to say they've played at the opera house,
but is it almost like busking in a way and say, no, we don't allow busking.
We have, there's a large police presence at the opera house and they'll
move people on immediately. So that kind of shut that avenue down because I thought,
oh, do we need to distract the police?
Here we go.
Yeah.
Bomb threat, L-Sprang Z.
You see.
No, of all the ideas we've had on the show,
I wouldn't mind saying,
Hamish and Andy's hilarious,
bomb threat for your Peter out.
But I know you mean.
Yeah.
I was more to be set off
of both the other end.
They all scurry.
We quickly scurry. They scurry. Weakly scurry, they scurry.
We really fall.
Oh, not a peed around.
So we, we, as they scurry, we scurry.
It's high pressure chomping.
I reckon you probably could get through just the three tracks.
Maybe I could have just imagined just with the whale of sirens and stuff.
It's, yeah.
If we couldn't hear the chomping because of the sirens from the controlled
explosive, we obviously set off safely.
But that stage of place didn't know that.
Yeah.
I just think it's a take a lot of the Christmas joy out of it.
Yeah, you're right.
Yeah, you're right.
You're right.
To book the concert hall for a non-ticketed event, which is what ours would be.
You'd like a bit of a free event, I think.
Okay.
It's $44,000. Oh
That's a lot of cash to jump. So we're not gonna do that
Um
If you record footage it can cost a lot of money if you're using it for commercial purposes
I guess that's more people like doing one night at the opera house kind of thing. Yeah, but it can't
You know you don't want that's that's a figure you don't even want to know about. We're doing $1,000 a second, really, to record footage.
Right.
That's the kind of rates I was hoping to get your only fans up to, but not the kind of cash
we'd be looking to spend on chomping.
So I was taking all this in, I was like, okay, we've got the meeting room, we've got
the option of perhaps some sort of busking.
Don't know but can investigate.
However, and whilst I was putting all this in an Excel spreadsheet, titled Logistics
and feeling pretty good about the investigation so far, then an email came in from a lady called Kim who is involved in the niche yet highly popular
world of physical culture.
Fizzy.
Have you ever heard of Fizzy?
It's kind of like dancing in aerobics.
Right.
No.
Remember Dan who did audio for us on many of our travels.
His girlfriend's heavily into Fizzy.
Really?
Yeah, she does it.
That's the biggest connection I've got to her.
But it's kind of like a
row big and dance at the same time. Yeah, that's kind of like... So Fizzy as in physical.
It's short for physical, but I think the whole thing is physical culture.
Okay. I'm at my maximum here of knowledge, but people call it Fizzy.
Jack, you into... This is the first time I'm hearing about it.
And I think a lot of listeners have been the same boat.
But for those that know, they'd be like, yeah,
it's a big thing.
They, so she goes, look, I work at BJP fizzy,
which must be one of the big ones.
Okay.
They, she's like, we've been listening,
we've been enjoying the episodes about the chump-off,
heard the idea of forming the chumping quiet
a performance at the chumpra house.
We have the opera house booked
for Tuesday the 29th of November
for our final performance of the year.
We've got a rehearsal in the morning
and a performance in the evening.
We could lend you the space if you want
in the main concert hall between five and six on the day
because they've got it for the day.
If you can, we just have to look into our contracts
about broadcasting and stuff,
but we'd love to be involved,
and we'd be happy to make the chump off possible.
So it's for the hearing from...
We're subletting.
They're subletting the opera.
Yes, it's for us.
So we could sneak in on the day of a big,
fizzy performance.
Yes.
And, you know, it is the scurry that you are hoping for,
and it's scurrying into you, someone else's book.
To welcome scurry. So that's interesting. The, if that date doesn't work,
yep. Maybe we should reach out to other people that have on the
migrate and see if we can sublet their time. So not to, not, I, not that I, obviously,
fizzy being our first choice, but I'm
fizzy is always our first choice. But it is about that. But you and I logistically
going back to logistic sometimes find connecting on a certain date the
everyone's a very.
Yeah. So I think I love the plan to.
I love it. It makes a lot of sense doesn't it? And I think for people that want to hear
the choir, John,, the knowledge that,
that seems like it's kind of a perfect time.
Anyone that's got a book to a rehearsal
and then has a gig that night.
I like that five o'clock window.
It's sort of an afternoon,
you knock off a bit early from work,
grab a drink round circular key,
go and catch a chomp inquire,
head out for dinner afterwards.
It's sort of what people do.
Yep.
Poooo!
It's not bad. What do you think. Poooo! It's not bad.
I need to think about it.
I need to think about it.
I've done my bit, Mike. How are you going?
Back.
Back.
Well, it's been one week, men.
Since we gathered here and we, I hope,
and I think, shared with Australia,
probably mostly men, but of course some women,
because we talked a lot about backs, and we were all people, but of course some women, because we talked
a lot about backs and we were all people, we've all got backs, but about how to dry our
bodies. And how'd you go? Well, yes, you can say I'm bone dry now.
But don't let that fool you. Don't let that fool you into thinking that I have an experience. Some unwanted dampness are
most drying the body in an area that I was hoping to be.
I was going to camp around and teach me.
But you didn't need to really, I mean, you did such a good job last week explaining
the flossing of the back flossing.
How did that go?
One hour, one hour, one hour down on the back.
How did that go for you?
I get the flossing.
I understand the flossing.
It's not as good as you think.
I think you're thinking, I think you think it's a better system than it is.
Do you know what I realized?
You would get a lot more drips going down your back, because you've got longer hair.
When I dry my hair, when I dry my hair, nothing's getting out.
I think it's getting out every again.
Is it, is it, is it go that, dry that quickly?
You haven't got much shorter hair and less,
we want a slightly less of it.
Detsy, what about beard drop?
Yes.
That's a much thicker hair.
Sometimes beard water can get out 20 minutes later.
Wow.
And work its way to the surface.
That's a thicker.
Yeah, that's an interesting.
What did you change up?
I tried the floss, I did try the floss.
I tried to think more carefully
about where I was putting the towel.
It's still this flank area, right?
The top of the thigh.
The top of the thigh on both sides.
Yeah, I just think I've got some hair there,
but generally that your hair's running out
by between kind of like side of the earth
along the ITB for runners. I think the hair I've got there is, I don't know, sticky or it's graven onto
more water. You mustn't be running the tail along there. I am running. I don't, you're
not running a tail along and then the hair is beating a tail. I don't know what's going
on. And I was telling you so I was like, are you drying out tails properly?
Like, you know, I'm just thinking about it.
Are they somehow not absorbent enough?
We have like, is there a thin wrapper on the tails that we didn't take off?
Like, remember we had the whiteboard and we were like,
this thing is the worst whiteboard.
And it actually had a layer of plastic on it for a year.
For a year, yeah.
We just got it. Like, I don't use that one,
you can never rub anything off it.
And then one day.
It detects your player.
Lo and behold, we discovered it.
So I've looked for that on the towels and it's not there.
Do you have white towels?
No, they're kind of a brown.
Someone told me that colored towels aren't as absorbent as white towels.
Because they've got to die in them.
And I believed it to the point where I went and replaced
by towels with white towels.
But isn't it true?
Is white the normal color of cotton I suppose it is?
Like, or is that dark?
I'm sure they don't.
No, but when you bleach white,
and it doesn't bleach, take things away,
I think there's more room in a white towel to grab the water. Whereas
your brown towel lots of pigments in the brown towel. When the water's trying to get into
the cotton fiber, there's a bit of no room here. We're all grey on. Keep walking, droplet.
That can't be true, can it? I mean, technically it's got more in it
than an undied towel.
Yeah.
Try a white towel over the week.
But a white, I'm white, colored white.
That's what I, but Jack's saying no,
they're either that's the raw color of the cotton or.
Or bleat, I thought bleach had something to do
with like taking away.
Yeah, okay.
Yeah.
Like it sucks the color away and,
and the chemicals drain it down the drain. I don't think that's something to do with like taking away. Yeah, okay. Yeah, like it sucks the color away and the chemicals
drain it down the drain.
I don't think that's how bleach works.
Isn't it?
When you bleach something, you don't end up with a sink
full of the brown, like the color, do you?
I tell you.
Doesn't come out.
Doesn't it just, oh, geez, where does it go?
Yeah.
It's what a trick.
Have did I notice a little brown cloud floating out of the room?
Did it evaporate?
How about this.
Last time you were in a hotel, always have white towels.
Did you feel dry?
Oh, yes, because I'd like to use two towels in a hotel to take advantage of the system.
So you think...
So you think...
Self-reporting must be nice.
So do you think maybe your...
I have running out of dry areas on that towel?
He's the thing I might be doing.
I might be drying my upper body so well for the towel stamp by the time it gets to my
flanks, my leg flank.
And I'm using the same pressure I was using up top where it was doing its job because
the towel was thirsty.
Now the towel's had a fair bit to drink.
It's not very thirsty anymore.
And I'm brushing over it maybe too fast.
I really feel like I'm scrubbing it.
No.
Do I scrub too hard?
And I'm pushing water back out like a sponge.
Yes.
Oh, they're towels.
My squeeze in the towel's so hard.
I'm pushing the water out of the towel back onto my leg.
Right.
Is it blood?
It's blood. It's blood.
It's blood.
The other thing you're going to have got is my beard.
As I'm doing this, like, why won't you dry?
My beard's shaking water and it lands there.
And I'm doing it so rigorously, like it's shaking out
of my beard.
Yeah.
We need to, we need to be great to get the equivalent of hotspot.
So it's also, yeah, so it's also perfect.
She hasn't come in to sort of watch me do it, but I'll then get into bed.
And she'll be like, you haven't, you're dead.
It would be, would I know she's very busy.
Yeah, no, like we do have time to sleep.
Which, no, would she watch you one night?
That's what I've been doing.
And then we can ask her to come on the show and, would she watch you one night? That's what I've been thinking.
And then we can ask her to come on the show.
And go, what's he doing?
What's he doing?
Is that all right?
Which, which he'd be doing?
Yeah, because it's not the back, it's not the back channel.
Like, I mean, you, the way I'm getting it down there,
and then even when I floss, I was like, at least it's done,
but I've do it for Andy.
LAUGHTER
All right, well, it'll be nice to hear from Zoe,
just to get it perspective.
We've got white towels, we've got possible beard drops, because I'm rubbing so rigorously.
I'm moving my head and I'm forgetting that I do have a little lettuce shaker on the
bottom of my chin.
And as an outlaw, it's blood.
As an outlaw, it's blood, and then we'll get Zoe in a ref's chest.
You just sit on the toilet quietly, offer no advice.
That's what you need to watch, sort of dispassionately.
Yeah.
Love that.
Good luck, though, because it's pre-erotic.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Thanks for listening.
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