Hamish & Andy - Hamish & Andy 2022 Ep 185

Episode Date: August 17, 2022

1. Blake’s Boilover 2. Pondering speed limits 3. Tell Us Someone We Haven’t Thought Of In A While 4. Detective buzzwords 5. Technology lags 

A list-naf production. Activate your internet. Cos the Hamish and the podcast starts in 3, 2, sorry, still buffering. 1. A hoi to lead, Hamish. Good choice. A Hoi-tami vice, Jack. Well, that is not in front of the lead, no matter which way you lead.

That's deputy. And I'll be the skip. We are playing a sport. Lead vice skip, are we curling? Yeah! What a get! Oh, darn! What a get! Are the lead throws the first two rocks, stone one and two?

The vice throws next two rocks, and then the skip throws the last two rocks. Six rocks and curling set up, eh? Well, this is what it seemed like. It, it, it, it row, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it read first two rocks, so in one and two, Vice throws the next two rocks, five and six. I assume three and four are thrown by the opposition. And then you go and hold the broom for the skip.

You'd be rotating broom duties or is it just one sweeper? Well, I thought of separate skills. People going to the Winter Olympics just to broom. And then people going to just... Oh, don't add me a rock mate, don't add, no idea how much they weigh. I think this skip, which was me, is broomin' for you to. Yep. And then, then VICE comes down and holds the broom.

But he doesn't get to sweep. Don't know. I'm not to ask, if any, can. I mean, the reason I think that bubbled up from my memories, there was a brief one hot afternoon before the so chill Olympics, or even the winter games before that. We had the idea on the radio show, we were there that day, Jack, where we were like, hey, let's become a curling team. Yep, like Eric the eel, hear about these, like, where we were like, how long has it come a curling team? Yep, Eric the Eel. Yeah, hear about these unlikely Olympic heroes.

Do we become Australia's curling team? Like, yes, let's take out mates. We'll be hoping for more Jamaican Bob sled vibes. Yeah, that's what we do. Yeah, we're like, yeah, we're like, wouldn't this be amazing? Like, let's go to the Winter Olympics as the curling team, how hilarious.

Can we get good at curling in the next two years? Just so we come up with the all time loophole. Yeah. Turns out to make the Olympics as the curling team, how hilarious. Can we get good at curling in the next two years? Just so we come up with the all time blue poll. Yeah. Turns out to make the Olympics, you have to be top 16 in the world. Yeah. Not only that, the Australia already had a curling team. And we were 21st in the world.

So we actually were pretty good. To make that team, you only get selected individually. So if by some massive fluke, one of us got good enough to curl. Yeah, we'd be curling with the rest. Which would be bloody annoying. You'd give up the wind wind out of it. I got into it because I liked curling with you too. If you're going to be going to the Olympics for half an hour.

If you're going to take my curling buds away from me, I could not to play the sport. That was the afternoon we walked away from this sport. I hope you also to Lindel who use the very easy system at AymishNeed.com to tell us what she's been up to. Oh, lie. Hoy boys, it's lindle here on behalf of our two dogs who wanted to share their feelings about the podcast with you.

OK. Our Labrador Mav greatly enjoys his longer walks when I listen to full episodes. But he's very alarmed when I randomly burst out laughing at moments such as when Haymesha's mum told Channing Tatum that you guys think he's hot. Our kato dog Tash usually relaxes and falls asleep if we play the podcast in the car, with the exception of when the hack is interrupted Hamish's big finish of 2020. Navin Tash would like to inform you that they are very much in touch with the common dog,

by choosing to roll exclusively in local Australian mud and only grow into regular heights. Must be very nice to be tall enough to reach the computer and use perfectly manicured pores to navigate the difficult website upload process. What's up would be simple enough for any common dog to press a muddy pour onto the screen at ground level, just something to keep in mind.

I appreciate that I've got the good system and we're sticking with it. We will look into this over the mandate to break it into the end of the year. Enough's enough. Just to keep people battling through this. Well now it's tradition. It's like white for crickets.

So it doesn't make any sense. We'd rather play in stretching sports bands, but yes, now we have this beautiful tradition that you have to maintain. It's not really, it's more like it's more like if the tradition for watching the cricket was you have to walk from 100 kilometers away. No, like the car bugs 100 kilometers. It's a very long and drawn out of tradition for those wanting to enjoy a game. Anyway, but I do want to start, I wanted to start the show with something. It's a gripe. Now, you came off one. Just came off hot off one about the

WhatsApp and you want to go straight into another one. That's a traditional gripe. This is just a standalone. This is a pop-up gripe. Is it your gripe or is it the show's gripe or is it everyone in the pub or your gripe? My gripe. It's a question. Something's happened and I wanted to raise, I think it's the right environment to raise it in, but actually, if it's okay with you, wanted to do my gripe in a theme, in the style of today. And of course there's many different ways we could do a gripe, we could do an opera, we could do all this, and whatever.

It's to do with me and you and I, like it's a personal issue from our life. But why would you want to do it in the styles when you're just a softener? I think just a sparser, I'm really happy that you should do this to me. I can be more. What?

If you were allergic to one packing the dishwasher, but here it is, it operates. I am gonna tap dance while I do it. No, I thought I'd bring up this grime in the style of a Saturday afternoon before the match AFL type or NREL type pre-match chat show. Radio chat show. Love it.

It's called Blake's Boyle Over, because I'm about to boil over. You two were there. I don't think I'm going to tell you, you'll figure out what it's about, but you have to defend yourself in the style as well. All right, sure. And then Jack, you're there as well. Are you going to gripe at me live or was it pre-recorded? No, I'm gonna gripe you live.

I mean, I've made an opener for the show. It's a Blake's Boyle over. Okay, great. But just so you know, once we're in it, I wanna hear this voice. I wanna hear it. Yeah, no, no, I think you're the A-hole. It's show-up, no.

No. Blake is boyle over. Oh, my. One bleakie, A-hole, and a butterfly. No The all year Most importantly if we've got Blakey to my right now Blakey Always get worried about this segment. I get my flat check it on I put my helmet on because The car coming down. Oh, hold me back, fellas. Hold me back now, postman, you appreciate this. You come out charging their A hole,

but it's so mean to get right back in your box. Oh, it's away. Listen to this, postman. Listen to this. Yes. Me and the A hole and a bunch of other fellas. We're all involved in a footy chip and sweep, right? Yeah. Right. Money in, buybacks, went the whole season. We're all involved in a footy chip and sweep, right?

Right. Money in, buybacks, went the whole season, the last man's and the A-hole. Yeah, woohoo. Interesting. You say that last man's stand and gets the chocolates. That's true. Happened to be the last man's stand.

And now the A-hole, I mean 500 big ones. Oh, yeah. 500 big ones, plus them. Oh, no. And you're not sure if it's a JPL? I'm sorry, JPL. You think my sit down is more fun to be on the other side of the video? Yeah, you have to defend.

JPL is walking around, he's got that pedigree, he's got the fancy dog, he gets clothes rise, they all, he's doing alright. I'll let you go, I'll let you go. He goes, because I'll have my time to defend this postman. But I'll let you go, I'll let him go. Listen to this, instead of giving me the the clams like everyone else in the bet did. The A-hole waited to me in the sweep misses and his sweep misses. We're out having a feed. Right we're in at the dinner.

The A-hole stands up. The A-hole says I've got this one everyone because I owe the A-hole Blakey 500. So I'll take care of dinner. Everyone I owe thanks to journalist in a minute. I'm gonna sit there going, hang on a tick. He doesn't get to the site for you where you spend your 500. And, and he's ordered an $80 main. He's taking that main out of my 500.

He made me buy a dinner. I mean, what an idol. And he's missing what I had to feed. He's well, I bet. Oh, no. I'm wrapped. I were wrapped. We both ate delicious food. I'll give you that. I'm a bit hot. I'm a bit hot. We both ate delicious food.

I'll give you that. I'll give you that. We all had good drinks. I'll give you that. I'll drink this well. I'll be taken credit by you. I'll tell you what. This is a little lesson for younger apprentices out there.

This is how you pace that one back and you keep the chocolates and you get everyone at the table praising you as well. Everyone and everyone in the whole restaurant saw him stand up and remembers him from the game and thought it was a good guy. Spine everyone at dinner. You are the man that's in charge of sending people places,

postman, or what you're to send him to the doghouse. Hey, Ho, I didn't do it mate, but you're on the way to the doghouse. Oh my god. First story, Jack. You're on the way to the dog house. What? What? What? What? What? What? First story, Jack. What's the short story? After dinner, we're driving home, so it's really nice for me to pay. I was like, no, did you hear him explain?

He owes me $500. You have to hear the story, I'm pregnant. He just took credit for the old dinner. Plus. Plus, he's taken his meal. He's gone a lot lately. And he's taken his meal out of my end. Exactly. It's like with our friend Tim, who we work with, he's the his meal. He's gone a bit late. And he's taken his meal out of my hand. Exactly.

It's like with our friend Tim, who we work with, he's the company card. We all own the company credit card. He has one of my guys. I'll get this cab. And then you see him use the joint company card. I'm like, well, you're not getting it, Tim. Your hand is moving the company card

to the... You're facilitating the transaction. But you're not getting it. Or... Now, absolutely guilty. But yeah, that would be the only thing we missed out of Blakey's boil over is one hour of teasing that particular break. Like it would have been at the start of the show going, all Blakey's upset and I tell you what,

guess who's gotten the crossheds the A hole. And then they would have said that. Also, yeah, teasing is in like protecting in like letting people know it's coming up. Yeah, it was like after five. That should have been after five. They should have been in there after five. After five, he's boy, what degree? Yeah, 72 degrees, we've eaten up.

No, yeah, yeah. And I wouldn't have said initially it was for the A-hole because I'm coming for one of you fellas. Yeah, that's right. That's right. Well, I'm clean mate, I'm clean, I've done nothing. You say that. So yeah, but that's the size, that's right. That's right. Well, I'm clean, mate. I'm clean. I'm done nothing. I can say that.

So yeah, but now that's the size, that perfect spot on bottom. Liam, that can't wait to hit. So. Quick one here, Ham. You'll. Does the speed limit change when you see? The style. I always think that at the time.

It's at the sign. It's at the sign. But I can't hear you. So he's in the, he's at the sign. It's at the sign, but I think we should use it. There is a period of grace. So if I see 60 and I'm going 80, I need to be 60 by the time I get there. Yeah, it's interesting, isn't it? Because if I see 100, I've got to speed up and be 100 at the 100. You don't have to be 100, though, because it comes back to me and it comes into maximums. That's the maximum limit. So it's not saying you have to be going a hundred by the time you get here.

It's, it's, it's really, I think you know, it's like, no, but you're missing the, you were missing the concept of maximums here because you don't get fined for being under. You can't get, you can't get pulled over for being pulled over. No, Beck got pulled over for being too slow. You have to be going pretty slow. They're not going to be like, woo, 96,000. Well, she thinks she wasn't going that slow. Got pulled over and got fined.

And then her battery didn't work when she went to start the car. But you actually got pulled over, find. They checked the registration. She hadn't paid her registration. So they had went to start the car, but you actually got pulled over, fine, they checked the registration, she hadn't paid her registration, so they had to then park the car there, and I went to grab it, and it was out of battery. So it can get down.

It can get down. I mean, you can get down for going too slow, but I mean, it's a lot rarer. Like, you don't have people going, the calls for the police to admit that the slow-speeding tickets are just a revenue razor. Would it be okay or would you win in court if there was a cop standing behind the hundred meter sign, right?

Hundred, hundred K sign. Hundred, so hundred K sign is, is, is, is, is, is hidden behind there. He's cut a little bit out. I was literally camouflaged by the sign. Yeah. By the sign. Yep. With the Israeli dog gun, you're speeding up from 80 to 100. Yep.

And he gets you on the speed up. And he gets you in that period where you've seen it, there's 200 meters where you probably see the sign coming up. Would you win in court if you had hang on? I was speeding. When I win, yes, because I'm representing myself. And you should have seen what I did to them in there, got on a beauty, and you know how I got spinning. When I win, yes, because I'm representing myself. And you should have seen what I did to them in there. Got them a beauty.

And you know how I got off? I went, so I couldn't read the sign. What do you mean? Someone had cut a hole in it. Do you see the man in court today? Yes, I do. You're on a Batman to face the sign. What's the penalty for that?

Six years in prison. Cut you a deal. We all walk out of here free men. So that's how I won. You need to see the sign because you're going too fast. You are already in an 80 K an hour zone. Why would it matter, sir? Now we've already done the deal. But I think I think isn't there. My understanding has always been you do have to slow down by the time you pass the sign. If you're coming out, you know, coming out of a hundred into a 60.

And then, but then it's not until the sign happens when you're on the speeding up. I think it is two different situations, cause it deals with maximums, cause it deals with past this sign. That is the limit you have to be going. And in one case, you prepare the other, in the other case, it's, don't let the party start to get to the sign. Really? So you think that would be my interpretation?

So people break the law every day. Yeah, if they speed up the sign. As soon as I see the 100, I start going up to a hundred. Yeah, I mean boys, boys, boys. It's me. It's me. Of course I do. Of course I do.

I mean, I've got what I need on tape. I've got you both. See? I do speed up when I see the sign too. Because my brain, I always go, I go, I don't, I don't go, they're just making up up between numbers here. I always think it's related to safety.

I go, okay, well, between me and the site, if it's a hundred down there, it's always a straight road. It's not like there's a series of chicanes in oil before you get to the side. Yeah, yeah, yeah. From here to the sign, guys, come on, we live in a normal society, we're all grownups here, we have to be to be driving, we can begin the speed up.

So you're a kid, I could, we could be, we know, we'd probably be able to win in court, and placing a hey, we've seen the sun spinning up. I understand the maths of one rule, but I do, I've always assumed there's a period of grace before the sign. And it would be the darkest of dog acts for the cops to stand there, one meter before

the sign and go, oh, think you sped up a bit. So if the, if the shotgun driver, the navigator had a telescope, it was a very straight road and a very straight road. Well, again, yeah, if it is a straight road, they could say. The only reason you really slow down is for either built up areas or curves, right? So we could say we've seen, we saw the sign and they could say, yeah, and we would sing, we could sing the song if we wanted in court.

I saw the sign. We could do a, we could do a, you know, it's not legally recommended, but if it was a jury trial, I think it would, I think it would be memorable. Which would be true. We could go, well, the only thing I remember from the trial was when they sang said I saw the sign I opened up my ass

I Know that would be out that would be what our defense engine. So yeah, I think if you yeah, it's the ace of baseball Hey Time for a round of tell us someone We haven't thought of in a while. Obviously it goes on. Exactly. We haven't, you're gonna bring up someone that you think we haven't thought about this year. You are always playing for hats that have been sent in.

And the reason why I'm excited this week is that people are sending hats, him, but also with accompanying notes. That normally just, a company just has a go, sends something in. Jocking for our attention. I mean, we've just had some great, dare we remember the days of Mitch's lawn care. That hat.

That was one of the great hats. Physio Creme. The show's number one. Back into the lion's tent. As we say, we've made this very clear for a number of years now. You won't find a better crem in the world. The crem.

If you're a physio, it's the crem of the crop. Yeah, yeah. But they are terrible at hats, and they must wake up every day and go, thank God we're in the crem business. Because if we were in the hat game, we would be out of here. Yeah. We would have dissolved years ago. Well, this one came with a note.

They said, you guys have now got the last crap hat left in the whole physio crew building and business. They found the last one. They're getting out of hats. They're getting out of hats. And I mean, it is bad, but it's up for grabs today. It's purple. It's got our least-favorite class, the Velcro at the back. Cheapest available. Cheapest available. It is embroidered at the front, but it's not a design that you'd admire, but also... I mean, you give them something for embroidering, that they could have just printed straight on, but in terms of promotional hats, it's just absolute run of the mill. I will say they've improved since the purple ones.

The initial purple ones, not only were all the worst options of a hat, but too shallow. Somehow they managed to get it too shallow and you were like anyone at Physio Crem shut up as put it on top of their head anyone in charge of hats try one on Hey, another hat comes in with a note Yeah, and this is from hoids They've got a I think again they've gone down the The budget for hats would have taken a slight dent.

Exactly. In the past. In the past when Jack... 25 years or so. Jack used to work there to help himself to the register. No. No. What was it again, Jack? What was the code word we meant to use instead of money?

No, no. I did take popcorn. Some liberties with eating popcorn. Of course. On my shift. Yes. So that's the end of the story. Just to describe how quickly all black and it's black on black. So it's not really showing off. It's quite a subtle, but it is our least favourite. Don't give that to your staff. The last thing you need them to be is stealthier. We already know. We already know sneaky. They can be like a bike hoids.

I mean, they're ninjas already. All right. I mean, they write a hoi boys, here a couple of hoi's caps, for you to critique, or you said least, least favorable class, but the back. He said, he, they said, we've also thrown in some hoi's lux tickets for good measure. P.S. The popcorn in quotation marks in Lux is free. So I mean, they've used popcorn in quotation marks, referring to Jack stealing cash from them, but they don't read. So they are they saying it's free money if we go to Lux. So I was a bit confusing, but thank you, Houghts team. Now, quick question. Should we be giving these tickets to the crew here, him or these available for whoever wins the Houghts hat?

I mean, that will make the Houghts hat the first winner, why not? I think we keep those internally because hats is the prize. They've always been the prize. Physiocrats not sending in six tubes of crams. That's true. Hoping that people will choose the hat. So we'll keep a close eye on the tickets because we certainly know what happens Jack Will you you invest in the hoiets luxe ticket? Yeah, well luxe is hoiets is version of gold class

So they it's the superior cinema. There is no way you're getting them after everything you put that company through I've been back to happily been back to hoiets the same one I worked out male Massif felt very weird having the money flow the other way I'm not sure if we're very weird having the money flow the other way. We're wearing a disguise. Did you see the most one post of all? There's nothing for me to hide from or be ashamed of. Yeah. Okay.

Well, fair enough. But we don't have to troll through the VIP submissions on the website, but I'm sure if we found a lawyer, they would still be able to tell us the relevant criminal code that theft falls under. And whether or not you should be, you should be hiding. Yes. Hey, you've also got the Dutch deals hat. Dutch deals side. The baseball style hat.

Do not go and play baseball. Do not read yourself to play for the Oakland A's. I believe was the featured team in Moneyball. Wearing the Dutch deals has to be laughed off the diamond. It's early to start. Because it's only a baseball style hat from Dutch deals. But certainly, they are where I prefer to get my profit, profitges, mini pancake, mini pancake mix,

or they're happy to exchange money for the mini pancakes. Again, they're the three old funny system of money goes to the company employees banking on behalf of the parent company. It's been a while since I've thought about the Milky Bar kid. Oh, good. Yeah, it's been a while since I've seen them panic a little bit. I probably had more time to space out the Milky Bar here. Right. Joining us is Brendan. Brendan, Nohoi, do you? Oh, yeah, boys and PW, how are you? PW. That's like President Weas will across the desert

We didn't know that Pw meant that that's we're not on a shortening basis We're president reason never even existed. Well, I think you were mentioned in one of the open The people calling you president weasel if that's what the, Jack, and the president must respond to the name. I love the pause as we all sat there and tried to troll through the back catalog of our show. I don't like that. We pit them. Brandon, tell us someone we haven't thought of for a while. Alrighty, boys. Someone who featured quite a lot on Facebook and Instagram a few years ago. The Dan Bilzerian.

Oh, yeah. I'm sorry to say this, but I have a policy. I don't really have an unfollow anyone and I follow Dan Blesarian. He has been very quiet, but he popped up not only weeks ago in the feed because you usually just hit my yachts with babes and guns or whatever. Yeah, just babes, yachts, they started a vape company. And they would just basically just think just on yacht shooting promotional videos. For vaping. Yeah.

He popped up like it looked like he got married. It was him, it was him like walking down the aisle. I think it was a joke because he was like, I finally did it with the only thing in the caption. I mean like 50,000 bros underneath being like, what? No man, what's going on? No.

And that bit, I do remember the time you've just reminded me because I was like, I must investigate to see if that was a hoax or not. I was, it wasn't a huge press, massively pressing. No, I forgot about it, but I have, it was within the last month. Sorry, Brendan. We'll play.

Brendan onto, uh, Taric, Taric, oh, how do you? Yeah, it was within the last month. Sorry Brendan Pleiied Brendan on to Taric taric. Oh, do you? Good idea. Hey, I'm boys. Yeah good. Tell us someone we haven't thought of for a while I'm always having thought of Tony 2012 and a while Okay, no, not at all. Yeah, at all In fact, I never really got who he was. I got confused, but he was like a militant kind of overlord in another country that was doing, can you still beat him?

It was a small nibble of trouble. I thought, well, you've been using the criminals at the child's folder or something like that. Why is it that? I was going to talk about wall criminals while saving a nibble of a limp ball. I would have saved the nibble for another time. I padded while you had the first nibble and you gave me a nod just thank you.

Thank you, because I'm out there. Then you went back for another mint nibble and I thought that's when you... That was a tidy up. No. No. No. No. He was, I think he was, yeah, he was an African warlord.

Yeah. Okay, and the idea was make him famous and then he won't keep getting away with this stuff. Yeah. Did it work? I don't think they ever got him. And I, but I think the guy, you've won, by the way, you've won. Yeah, well, definitely. Yeah, well, definitely got that hat here.

But I think the guy that ran the campaign, he got caught doing a bit of stuff. That's right. That's right. He got his own, Darrell Twitt, or something. He had his own, he had his own less than glamorous mode in the spotlight. I think it was a bit of a breakdown, wasn't it, Jack? And it led him to either self-pleasure himself. In the streets. Wow.

I think it was a car. On the higher it was too a car or I didn't want to, I mean, we should just say here we're trying to remember his so perhaps and it's really we're saying he made love to a car but that's what I remembered. Wow. We don't. We can't get into logistics of that but Taric you have one. He got four of the segments.

Not the segment. You have one. Your choice of hat. I can't recommend a recommend not taking the physio creme hat enough. It's the worst hat we've ever seen, but it's the last of the worst hat we've ever seen. It's purple with our least favorable class.

We've got the hoids hat or the Dutch deals hat if you spend 400 euro at a images local Dutch shop. You get a free hat. What's what are you going with? I'm a Dutch deal fan. I'm based on a band of baseball style. I'm a Dutch deal. Yeah. I'm a baseball player. I'm doing a fan of baseball style. Sorry, it's a baseball. Sorry,

should make me very clear. It's a baseball style hat. Yeah. So, I think it's a good thing. So, don't play baseball in it. We all actually can't fly, but we're wiffle ball. Yeah. You can play T-ball. Any other sport that's in the style of baseball,

but not actual baseball? I'm a careful. Yeah, yeah. Okay, okay, we're done our legal job. Tarek, well done. Jake, wrap this up for us. Tell us some we haven't thought of in a while. Hoi, boys. I don't think you've heard of Ken Bruce.

Do you remember Ken Bruce? You are so unlucky. Oh, you got to see Ken Bruce. Ken Bruce has gone completely mad. Yeah, that's the one. You are very, very unlucky. Because Cambrus was a wild, I think it was a cast area as my both.

Oh, well, good fitting. Bending. Was it bidding? You're the captain's news. You're the captain's news, who also seemed to go where to be. Matt Griffiths. Matt Griffiths is in he's ad.

He was in a rocking chair and the other one wasn't rocking John. Yeah, he was a guy mad. Crazy John was fun. And he was a different type of man. Yeah, there was a series there that had to be mentally unstable to be able to tell anything. No one was no sane person ever offered a deal. So unfortunately for you, Hayme, you can testify to this because we had Rod

Quontok doing the Captain snooze and he was whipping beds during an episode of the 100 last season that you were on. Yes. And while we were watching those ads of Rod contact who looked like he was going mad, but he was actually Captain snooze. Someone said, oh, someone said, oh, Ken Bruce has got mad. It's actually not. Rod Quontok, but he was actually Captain Snooze. Someone said, oh, someone said, oh, Ken Bruce has got mad. It's actually not.

Rod Contact going mad on behalf of Captain Snooze, yes, regardless of selling bids, but Ken Bruce is still in 2022. Yeah, that was this year. Yeah, that was this year. Okay. So sorry, Jake, I'm well played, no hat for you.

Um, and, but thanks very much for playing. Captain Snooze, wasn't mad. No, no, thank you, mate. Well done, no hat for you. And, but thanks very much for playing. Captain snooze wasn't mad. No, thank you, mate. Well done, dad. I thought Captain snooze was saying. No, Captain snooze is saying. No, mad. Really?

Well, he wasn't advertibles and part of his name. He wasn't so mad that he was known as mad old Captain snooze. But he was, he was certainly a mad man. He's walking around in a nightgown with a night hat on jumping on beds He's not he wasn't acting in sound body of mine At all. He had a yellow you're a lot in the ads, but I thought he worked at the snooze store So it makes sense that he was snooze themed and on beds That's a jack he was in the streets as the guy that works at the head of silly post-apetic

Probably turns up in a suit mate. He's not walking around in the job ahead of silly post-to-pidic. Probably turns up in a suit, mate. He's not walking around in the jar, but he's going, I'm just going, I'm just going, I'm just going, I'm just going, I'm just going, I'm just going, I'm just going, I'm just going, I'm just going, I'm just going, I'm just going, I'm just going, I'm just going, I'm just going, I'm just going, I'm just going, I'm just going, I'm just going, I'm just going, I'm just going, I'm just going, I'm just going, I'm just going, I'm just going, I'm just going, I'm just going, I'm just going, I'm just going, I'm just going, I'm just going, I'm just going, I'm just going, I'm just going, I'm just going, I'm just going, I'm just going, I'm just going, I'm just going, I'm just going,

I'm just going, I'm just going, I'm just going, I'm just going, I'm just going, I'm just going, I'm just going, I'm just going, I'm just going, I'm just going, I'm just going, I'm just going, I'm just going, I'm just going, I'm just going, I'm just going, I'm just going, I'm just going, I'm just going, I'm just going, I'm just going, I'm just going, I'm just going, I'm just going, I'm just going, I'm just going, I'm just going, I'm just going, I'm just going, I'm just going, I'm just going, I'm just going, I'm just going, I'm just going, I'm just going, I'm just going, I'm just going, I've mentioned you before that I do love a British drama and we discussed line of duty, which is one that Darcy loves in here. Big time loves it.

Where's a Bobby Hat round? Yeah. A British one, which is about Ben Koppers and AC-12, the Eddie Corruption ANC that's trying to find them. I also, Beck and I, during COVID for some reason, went back to the very beginning of law and order S for you and started working our way through 23 series. Well, that's giving me a thumbs up, right? Well, he's, I mean, it's good, Ben. It's fine. It's pretty formula. It's fine. You don't have to watch chronological either. That's S for you is one that you can just dip in and out. It's a good thing to do. It's a good thing to do.

It's a good thing to do. It's a good thing to do. It's a good thing to do. It's a good thing to do. It's a good thing to do. It's a good thing to do. It's a good thing to do. It's a good thing to do. It's a good thing to do. It's a good thing to do. It's a good thing to do. It's a good thing to do. It's a good thing to do. It's a good thing to do. It's a good thing to do. It's a good thing to do. It's a good thing to do. It's a good thing to do. It's a good thing to do. It's a good thing to do. It's a good thing to do. It's a good thing to do. It's a good thing to do. It's a good thing to do. It's a good thing to do. It's a good thing to do. It's a good thing to do. It's a good thing to do. It's a good thing to do. It's a good thing to do. It's a good thing to do. It's a good thing to do. It's a good thing to do. It's a good thing to do. It's a good thing to do. It's a good thing to do. It's a good thing to do. It's a good thing to do. It's a good thing to do. It's a good thing to do. It's a good thing to do. It's a good thing to do. It's a good thing to do. It's a good thing to do. It's a good thing to do. It's a good thing to do. It's a good thing to do. It's working her way up for the ranks. You wouldn't probably realize that. And she was also a victim of crime, her mum was a victim of crime herself. And she's flashbacks. Just keep coming back. And important to see in the right order.

Yeah, well, not really, but it's something, something. Maybe, something. But I've noticed him a lot of the same phrases are used across many different police dramas. And I really want to know whether they're used in actual police work, including Australian dramas I've seen. So joining us is a detective, Ash is a name. I think she helped us flip Jack's house back in the day when we're looking for the Bitcoin password.

Ash, who are you? Oh, who are you? I know. I was great to have you back. Going to have a detective on tap. That's so welcome. I know you're especially as I think in intelligence, which is great, because this is exactly the feel where you... Oh god, I've got one.

I've got a few too. I want to concentrate more on the phrases used. Here's one. Are you often getting annoyed by, like, this is with regards to like the people upstairs, like the your bosses? Yeah, great. Top, listen, this is within regards to like the people upstairs, like the your bosses. Yeah, great. Top, top brass. Has anyone ever said the guys upstairs are trying to shut us down?

Oh, no. Oh, no. Um, not in the spiral shut us down, but move us along. Move us along. Okay, okay, okay. Listen, what about, I've got the top brass up my ass. Oh, okay. If anyone's saying the top brass, top brass comes up a lot.

Top brass. Yeah, look, we would say that the boss is on our asses. Okay, okay. Do we not use top brass in Australia? We don't. You can't, um, generally the top brass aren't real interested in what it is that we're actually doing,

unless we have a result. Yeah, okay, okay. So it seems to be a lot of pressure from upstairs. Is there, do you guys feel that pressure you let it go by? It's like every day it feels like you need to get a result. Is there, is it that type of pressure? Yes, certainly. I mean, particularly if the bad guy is causing a lot of havoc, so the noisier the crookies, the more pressuraries, generally if they're quiet and the community aren't really that aware of what's going on. The top raster will like just give us cool when it's done. So as the top raster ever said, I need this done yesterday.

Oh yeah. Yes. Yes. Yeah. That one. We need picked up yesterday. Yeah, we need picked up, yes, say. So like a very public crime, like let's say, for instance, when Bart Simpson cut the head off Jebadais Springfield, the statue, that would be, that's a huge one, the public one answers straight away, because that's a beloved statue. Yes, and that would be because, you know,

the top brass bosses are up there. Oh, away. Sitting all around the house. Yeah, so it's on the brusker arson. Yeah. You know what, man, we've had this awesome last one. Yeah, I've covered this off quite a bit before. What about this one?

What about this one? The media are on to us. We have to give them something. No. Okay. No. That one's not something. We give the media what we want when we want. And that's definitely a top-brass problem. What about someone walking in and you're like inspecting an area like a scene, crime scene, and someone comes in, hold up a badge and goes, we're in charge now. in the area like a scene, crime scene. And someone comes in, hold up a badge and goes,

we're in charge now. Oh, this is about case. You're a jurisdiction battle. Yeah. No, generally it would be a case of who wants this one. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

You know, transit police or AGO, well. Yeah, there'll be like, look, who's catching? And there'll be everybody would generally say, not me, or Narsville. Oh, yeah, there'll be like, look who's catching and there'll be everybody would generally say not me or And is it across all the agencies in Australia? Is it a widely regarded rule that loves is not me the fastest is ours? Yeah, you know turn around that not it has anyone in your area been given an order and that person's responded with on whose authority? Not in so many words, there's generally a few more curse words, it would be who the F said I should f and do that. Okay, okay, that's

good. So the high-ranking issues are actually there. That would be end of the systemic across all policing forces, I would imagine. Yeah, and as far as everybody wants to know exactly what's going on, but perhaps they shouldn't. Yep. Now, we've got a leak. That seems to come up a lot like there's nothing worse than a bent copper. Has anyone come into the station or into the head office, egg was holding up a newspaper, slams it down on the table.

How the F did this get out? We've got to leak. Is that ever come up? No, no leak. Would you ever like to do that just for fun to come in and then just hold up a newspaper and slam it down and yell it like the rest of the room? How the F did this get out? And then them go, is it the press release? No, it's not. I'm gonna let me, it'll be more of a case of we walk in

and who's been on Facebook and post a dish here. No, it's good. That was good. I feel like we were there. So Ash, do you, you guys less worried? Because in the shows I'm watching the moment, it feels like anyone could be corrupt, but my guess is that you guys, on the most part,

don't feel like your partner is, it could potentially be bent, so to speak. No, no, we're pretty lucky in that respect. I don't have to question who I'm working with all the time, thankfully. Do you have, or do you know someone that has without naming names? Do you know someone that has a fake good fake passport or license? Oh. Yes. Yeah, of course.

Right. Of course. Yeah. So, like, so just for for for for for deep cover shit. I very much if I had if I told you, I probably have to kill you or get into a trouble. Yeah. Ash, thank you so much for answering the questions. That is wonderful to know. Well, I look, I reckon it was almost 50-50. There are, there's, there's, you guys are pretty intense in there by the time.

That should be the recruiting. Guys, welcome to the place course. It's not all like on TV, but about 50% is so get moderately excited If you watch the Olivia Benson and you think yeah, I could do that chance. So 50 50 you probably Hey, by the way, do you guys watch crime shows? I Am the big fan of Laura not arrested you It was actually the reason why I joined the police force. It was a little bit of a shock. Wow.

So, I told you, Ham, did you go from the start? She went from the start, see? And did you find any of the storylines that people might miss if they dip in? Look, it's one you can't dip, you're telling, but if you really want to get to know Olivia and you don't know the Bence the Relation relationship, then you're really better off the stage. Yeah, I agree. Very much like our podcast. We recommend you one last question.

Have you ever picked up a gun with a pen just on the trigger guard and lifted it up? Like I had a scene. Yeah, at a crime scene. No. You'll do it one day because I reckon the first time you do that as a cop, you'd be like, I'm really doing it. I'm doing it! You always see this, I'm really doing it! Thanks, Ash! Appreciate it! No worries, thanks guys! And a just before our fair we were mentioning we mentioned briefly Bluetooth lag times on car models and the frustration Jack you've got one in your car not the Tesla

One of your fleet is a Hyundai Bianca's car Is that a Hyundai? Is Volkswagen Golf? No, my God, I can't keep up with Jack's fleet And the Bluetooth connect is very annoying if anytime you're on a call and you get into a car, you have to apologize and say, look, I might not speak to you again for a half a minute.

It's a call, it's a call you back to the station. You've got to, it's got to work out how to fix it through the car. It's just one of those things where you put, like, because if you're on the phone a few bit, which we, I think we all are in the car, you put so much, it's like you've so much faith, so much hope in that technology. I would downgrade other parts of my life happily. I could almost do away with my laptop if I could get a 50% bump on my car Bluetooth.

Certainly other features are much worse TV happily. Happily have a much worse TV. Certainly other features of the car. There'd be numerous things on the car I'd remove. Happily. Happily. Happily. Happily. Happily. Happily. Happily. Happily. Happily. Happily.

Happily. Happily. Happily. Happily. Happily. Happily. Happily. Happily.

Happily. Happily. Happily. Happily. Happily. Happily. Happily. Happily. Happily. Happily. Happily. Happily. Yeah, yeah, mind some, I've got the one where sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn't. You just know where I'm a reason to it.

Some days it will connect to you, boy, do in other days. It won't. If you're on it, same thing, Jack, yeah, when you stop the car, if you turn the ignition off, mind gives me like 30 seconds. Well, I'd be better to do a thing. Yeah, then the whole car powers down and you're off. And so then I, because I don't, I like to stay comfortable in the car. So I sometimes turn the car off, then have to turn it on with the radio on mute

or something, then turn it back off, then turn it back on, see, my conversation's in the car at the end of the day, I just like faking the car that I'm starting about, you know, kind of like, I'm faking and then I just go, okay, now I'll let it go. Well, I might be driving again, just to keep it like, engage. So that's one area where the technology

is much slower than we need it to be. Do you know the other part, the other area of the world? I, I, Cal. Is, is the other one in, in, it's me. Sorry. It's like, let's, let's make this complain lag, complain.

Where's the lag that you can't handle? Calendars. In two-slot or update. Well, I thought you loved I, Cal. I, I do, I using it, it, but every time you put something in, it's really wheeled like, oh, well, this is a time and a day, you know all this calendar. You've been doing this for years, it hasn't made it,

it hasn't been any quicker, got any quicker in like 10 years of using it. So you would like the people with Apple behind the scenes to go, we know you've got super computers. Don't worry about the next camera in your phone. Don't worry about it. You're going to see the other way. We'll see how, I mean, you know, you're processing a million times a second on the camera. Could we put some of that in here?

I can't. I can't. Maybe because, go, we go into one camera, which we were all fine. Absolutely. And put it into Ikello. Yes. I'll ask a man. The other one, the other interesting one in terms of Apple, where it lags, is anytime

you use Siri, you know, she or he, whatever voice you've got on it connects to the internet. So there are those times when you ask Siri to do like, you know, what's 1,045 million times 28,000? And it'll come up by the end of come straight away. And you're like, oh my God, Siri, you're the best. Like you are a super, you're a genius. Then other times you go, hey, set a timer for two minutes.

And if it's not connected to the internet, like if the internet's slow, serial go, sorry, I'm still working on that. Do you ever get this? Because I have terrible reception at my house. I thought she could do a timer in the house. No, she needs the internet for anything. Because I have such bad reception at my house,

we fade in and out of even just being on four G's. So she can't set a time on air. I'm set a time, I can't set a time out without being connected to the internet. So you go from being this rain man like Savon to then you go, hey, set a time for two minutes. You guys, yep, on it. Sorry. Sorry.

Still working on it. You know, hey, Siri, you need to be the very best. It's 120 seconds. I don't care how you break it down. Final one. Sorry, but I on it. You're like, hey Siri, you need to be the very best. It's 120, I think how you break it down. Final one, sorry, but I'll take a little more. Are you going to shock? You go. Aircon remotes. I know we've talked about before.

Yeah, press the button, press the three. I hate that. I know what you've got to say. Why does it take so long to send the signal? But also, it's on and then you can turn the remote on without the aircon going off. And then you press and point again and then the aircon will beep, but it'll be off.

So, and how close you have to be with the aircon. How many times have you been standing point blank at the inverter going, just give us a control. I'm up here anyway. I'm at the, that time of a bowl but has has at the top of the remote that you need to think all the magic comes out of. It's like jammed against the receiver. Still won't give it a, here's the other lag that I can't send.

In this day and age, and when you go off quite often, having since moved to Sydney, I find myself having to pay for parking in situations. Now, normally I like to play the game, but just treat parking to get a ticket. After you go, I came here for two hours, print the ticket. What is going on in there? That is the longest time to wait for one thing to be printed.

That's the longest time of all time. It's like you're asking for a book to be printed. It seems like there's a guy that has to walk down this dance and shove it out. Oh my God. Are we going to do tickets? Yeah, he wants a ticket. Sorry about this. No, we didn't.

Here's my tip to him. Preprint the day. Because you know, if it's so hard, if it takes so long for the ticket to get printed out, at least write, like, okay, July 8, we got those pre-printed, like we know someone's coming in today. Someone will buy a ticket today because it's Bondi and there's never a cost. Or at least the month. Get a head start, you take a full 30 seconds for it to like, I mean, you know, for anyone

that's had a kid that's been constipated, there's similarities between the ticket machine printing and your constipated kid. Very similar. It's got to come honey, it will come, I'm so sorry, it will come out, it will come out. Here we go. Thanks for listening. The Hamish Nandy podcast will return next week. Catch up or contribute at hamishanandie.com Thanks for listening. The Hamish Nandy podcast will return next week. Catch up or contribute at hamishanandie.com.