Hamish & Andy - Hamish & Andy 2022 Ep 193
Episode Date: October 12, 20221. Emergency slide party...is BACK! 2. Power Moves 3. In-touch test 4. Your best school marketing stories 5. Hamish's exciting giveaway ...
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1.
Ahoi to me, all, Paymish.
Absorb this, I'm ready for work.
A hoi to me, groomer. Jack.
I hope not.
Why don't you want to groom?
What's wrong with grooming?
It could be good if I'm a hairdresser.
Are we hairdresser?
Yes, alright.
Yeah, you.
She sees you and really will do it.
Okay.
I mean, I know that happens online, but it's not a job title.
Yeah, I was kind of on a business card.
No, today, yeah.
Sorbonne Gruma.
Yeah.
We are components of the latest dice in vacuum cleaner.
Yeah, okay.
I was about to have a girl, you there there for not getting us enough time to guess but
Is this a weasel? Is that another complainant?
Yeah, you're the sawp I'm the groomer and yes
Okay now listen I've long expressed my pleasure and
I like the format with struck where we are all different workmates. But if we're going to suddenly become shafts, flexi heads and you know and ball
impact zones on golf clubs at Andy Lons, I'm calling it now. Now listen, we'll allow it once
for the excellent diceyson vacuum products.
Of course we would all enjoy, release Annie and I would.
Yes, but I'll allow it once.
Yes, once over here.
I'll take it.
What about one Siege?
What?
What?
So you've filtered me what you want.
So I'll give you one and then Hank can give you one another day.
That's nice.
I mean, since we're doing it and sort of wasting the listeners time for our own gain, what
about once each but to just, you know, to satisfy our weasel hunger, once each but we all
get the thing.
Yeah, we all get companies wasting.
The companies, if you are thinking of sending Andy a reward for his loyalty for mentioning
the vacuum systems in their excellent, you know, the unrivaled technology with the
brinders and the eyesight.
It really is brilliant.
It's got to be, you're going to send three of it.
Yeah.
It's like when you bring a cake to school and the teacher says you got enough for everybody.
Yeah.
Yes.
Yes.
Good new policy.
Quickly gone to enjoy this.
But let's, and also, there can't be consecutive.
Let's get our jobs next episode, because I do like the jobs game.
Yes.
And it is an interesting, certainly, yeah,
certainly an interesting brave new front here.
To be the completely flat bed.
Oh, I'm the avionic system.
Oh, I'm the ultra long range of the Perth to London
quantitative.
LAUGHTER
LAUGHTER
Just a whole lot of you to see.
Oh, but the house, the one for everyone.
One for everyone.
One for everyone.
That was a nine.
That was a nine.
But since it's happened, since it's happened,
send it through for a giggle, three of those. That's not my official one.
Oh, I always say to Simon.
Oh, I, Hey, Mission Andy and number six.
Mm-hmm.
Just want to say I'm almost fully cut up on all the episodes.
I won't say what number that is because by the time I finish the upload,
we'll be well into the thousands
I want to pass you on to my son. Oh yay, Miss Shinandi. I love listening to your podcast with my dad
That's good. So, sitting is up for a burn
That someone's gonna be heavily pledged, you know, ask for some WhatsApp action
That guy's that song's probably 25
Yeah, because the if you, if you're not,
the rumors that Hamish and Jack spread
about the slow upload system,
Hamish and.com is actually very fast.
I'd love to see an easy WhatsApp.
It is possible.
We've discussed it before.
The technology is available.
We just don't use it.
We want to start by angering someone.
And it's not normally what we do.
But it's not a mortal, and oh and it's one, it's a heavenly,
heavenly body, heavenly person. Is it a deity? With a deity, that's it. I wouldn't think I was,
I was going to be tangled up, it was like a member of the heavenly club. It's a saint. We're
angering Saint Peter out because on this show we enjoy claiming claiming having big ideas and we enjoy the enthusiasm that comes at the start of an idea.
We make the hard work then you kick into the grind phase.
And during the grind phase, that's where a lot of the initial boost of the idea can often flame out and cause the idea to petar out.
Hence St. Peter at the patron saint of Peter at.
We're up front a lot of our Peter at.
Happy, though.
They happen on the show.
Things fall into two categories.
They're either going concerns or they're Peter at.
We had something that we're about to mention something that everybody, like far and wide,
every person listening now, whether you've been with a short time or a long time, if you're
aware of this, you would have absolutely had it in the paid-or-at bucket.
But let's jump into it. Jesus, if you're not dead, um, because like, you know, as she and you went home and came back,
you should be in the terminal with your weight and your splice. But, I mean, I'm really,
I can't believe it. I'm really on the screen in front of me. Um, the luck is in which
and the system. Shit, the name is your baby slide. I mean, he's given up in this We're taking off! We're taking off! We're taking off! We're taking off! Congratulations!
Slime!
We are back and ago,
COVID can't stop us now.
Well, probably could again.
Funny, else could stop us.
It wasn't pretty sick.
It wasn't pretty sick.
Until we're actually just sliding down
an emergency slide of a plane
for people who maybe just listen to the podcast
for the first time.
Welcome.
Welcome. If you'd like to hear the first time the slide party was mentioned, you need
to go back 18 or 19 months. That's how long ago this, we bought it half our own fault.
We bought it up in peak COVID. We were like, let's do a party. Yeah, but we all, everyone
thought it was, you know, six weeks, we're in our six weeks lock down. We're not, we're
knocked this on the head and then we'll all jump out of a plane until emergency slide.
We loved the thought that the end was just around the corner, as we all know, it wasn't,
it was around several corners. And we now feel, Rex, the airline who do biggies in case you're
wondering, hang on a sec, let it do biggies. Yeah, they do do biggies. And that's where slides
come out of, biggies, big planes. Rex have come back and said, you know what, it seems to
be simmering down, not jingcing it, but it seems to be simmered down and we can get you
guys on a plane, which will then taxi to somewhere else on the runway, open up the door, deploy
the emergency slide. Those people that have already won tickets, which will now be just
be like moth bitten at the bottom of a filing cabinet somewhere. They can jump down the
slide. They can. They can. We're going to taxi to another hanger.
That's good for rain. And also just for safety because if we're out on the runways,
you just described it or we're all having a good time jumping on a slide as other planes go by.
Not as safe. That's true. But you should train for every scenario. You should.
planes go by, not as safe. That's true, but you should train for every scenario.
You should.
Hey, look, I don't even know whether the people
are still available to go on this.
We gave away, I think it was 80 tickets
to have people enthusiastic about using
the emergency slide on a plane.
And wasn't it, it was so complicated to the giveaway,
it was like, you've everyone got out like that
and like a flight number.
We canceled most flights. And we can't
to do all the other flights. And then like if you had the remaining flight, you won.
Because if it turns out then we can't do that flight too. We had thousands of people.
Thousands of thousands of people. Who doesn't want to jump down the emergency slide?
The idea still stands and it's a brilliant idea. So few people have ever gone down the emergency
slide unless you actually
were involved in the airlines because I think you have to do it for training.
And that's what the exciting part of it is. That's the point.
When they are out there and they're doing the bit where they explain the emergency procedure,
you can look to your left or right quite smuggling and go, you know, I've been down one of those.
Been one month. She's they go fast. What's your ankles?
How your ankle?
And you can just start up some great ankle chat with people on the plane.
That's what we're giving people the chance to do.
So, I had my check in with someone who has a ticket.
I thought it would have absolutely thought that this was not happening.
Yeah.
Jack, have you got some random numbers there?
Yes.
The first one we'll try is William from Loftus New South Wales.
A year and a half ago, we would have called William, right?
Like, if we'd have called William a year and a half ago and gunheads Hamish and Andy,
the first thing he would have said was like, oh, great, this is about the slide party.
Yes. Because that's back when it was peaking.
Then got put on several backburners and
everyone thought it'd peed it out. There's no way he will think this
cause about the slide party.
Well, so we thought, this's just give him a call and go,
like a survey, like we're reaching out to people
on the very important podcast as a list
and just seeing if they have any feedback on the show.
How they satisfied.
Yeah, they satisfied.
Yeah, see if he mentions the slide party.
I'll just see if he ever remembers the slide party.
Okay, here we go.
We advise that the number you have,
of course, you can come to the movie.
It's gonna be hard.
It's gonna happen.
He's moving.
He's moving.
He's not the movie.
He's moving.
Oh, he's moved countries.
He's gone.
He's moved countries.
He's got sick of waiting.
Jesus, it's gonna happen a lot.
Okay.
All right, second one, this is Ellen.
Ellen?
Ellen or Ellen?
Ellen is in, I can't think of a famous
Alan. Okay, border. Alan border. Alan Jagger.
I'm trying to think of a section of Alan Alder from Mash. Best Alan. That would be my favorite
Alan. Alex Hansen border. Hi you've reached Alan. Sorry I couldn't get to the phone. Feelin' me a message, I'll find it back to you
as soon as I can, thanks.
Hi, Alan.
Who do you think the most famous Alan is?
We think elder from Mash and then later on West Wing.
Anyway, Hamish and Andy here,
got some exciting news for you.
Slide parties back on.
Ah!
Not a joke, just to find The fact Andy broke up laughing there.
Yeah.
Really use back on.
Yeah, we'd love you.
We'll be in touch with you soon.
Try to go here for the podcast.
Yeah.
But, um, appreciate what you've given us in terms of Alan chat.
Okay, great, Jack.
Let's try one more.
And then, um, we probably have this raises an interesting idea.
There will be people that no longer are in Australia, no longer interested.
Are we running a lower capacity party or are we refilling those seats?
Think about, let's think about that.
Alexandra, Alexandra.
As in what?
As in what, Jen?
The city in Egypt.
I think it's an ancient city, isn't it pretty deep in the end of Jones. Hello, is
Alexandra? Yes. It's Amy Shnani here. Hello. Hello. Alexandra, how are you going? Good,
how are you going? Good, good. Are you still listening to the podcast. He's still listening to the podcast, by the way.
Yeah, my friend, especially my friend Jake, holy shit, what's the f*** going on?
So your friend Jake, listen, sort of, you listen to it.
I listen to it, but my friend Jake listens to like every single episode.
I can't get you.
So, about a year and a half ago, though, were you a real, I mean, why I totally understand
I've fade in and out of podcasts.
Were you, would you say um, it's increasing,
your passion for the podcast or, you know, slowly waning over time.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Do you remember that? It is. The airplane slide. Yeah, yeah.
Go for it.
Could you be honest with us here?
I mean, you want a ticket to come, right?
Yes.
At what point did you sort of go?
I don't think it's going to happen.
Oh, maybe a few months ago.
But yeah, yeah.
Forgivable, forgivable.
Well, can we blow you away?
Get out.
Yeah, it's back, baby.
And you'll be asked to get out very quickly on to an emergency slide on a Rex airline very soon.
That's insane.
We're more surprised than anyone, to be honest.
So Alex, we were just basically wanted to check the temperature of people that are one tickets,
whether they're still enthusiastic.
Can we put you down as a yes?
Oh, absolutely.
100%.
Great.
Great.
No Judy free.
You will be entitled to one drink as the cut comes past and there will be a lot more fun
to obviously organize.
Oh, amazing.
Yeah, that's what we thought.
We're going to take this as our absolute sample size though.
Happy with this.
One response.
All good.
We assume everyone else is into it.
Yeah, we'll pull the trigger on it.
It's back, stay tuned for more details.
Holy hell, thank you so much.
That's a pleasure, Ellie.
No worries.
We should do this more.
Give away things and not fulfill them for two years.
MUSIC
Hey, it's been a while since we've done this,
so let's jump back into it.
MUSIC I'm, it's been a while since we've done this, so let's jump back into it. How news, how quest to search for the definitive list of things you can do to give yourself
the upper hand in social situations.
Do you want me to keep myself today?
Go for an end of the power you can harness with some of these is.
Sometimes it should be, it's too much from your mortal to handle but we're happy to provide them.
And when I think that we're out or we're running out, people keep coming in and hanging
things out. You always think we're always like that could be it and they just keep getting better.
This one coming from Howard, power move, asshole category. We've discussed it before that there are
two categories. The legends in ourselves, but not too many legends.
If you see someone looking visibly angry or upset, ask them if it's because of their haircut.
Real nice.
Real nice, Andy.
Carbase.
Got a few carbase one today. Great. I'm really enjoying. In fact, I a few carbase once a day.
Right. I'm really enjoying.
In fact, I'm going to go purely car based.
I'm going to do a subcategory today just because I've
seen a lot of funny car ones coming across the
level.
This is, I love this because I'm going to do it.
This is from Naomi because when I'm waiting to get my car serviced at a cat price servicing place.
Yeah, right? So you've got one in the air, or it's like whatever is X-Mandos per service.
When I pull up, I shamelessly put my windscreen wipeers on for about five minutes,
spraying all the water around, because I know they have to legally fill up my window,
while she can tame it with their good water with the soap in it
I do
As they wave you in yes
Is how good is that post service where you have the you probably put special fluid in you? No, no, with you. As someone that, like rarely I might have water in it,
usually it's dry.
Yes.
Like you're going to a month with it dry.
When you get the surface,
that's beautiful.
And they put the soap in.
Yeah.
Oh, that's living.
This one is from Sue Douglas.
What was it?
Power move submission requires a little bit of pre-paling
before you die. After my funeral, I'm going to have a friend use my phone to message everybody.
Thanks for coming.
Very good, mate.
This is from Anna.
Driving power move, of course, in the car one.
If you're the driver and someone gets into the passenger seat, once they get in and sit
down, make sure to lean over them, re-open their car door slightly, then re-close it.
Just to show them that you don't trust them, they don't close the door properly.
I love that.
I think it reminds me of my head so much.
Great one.
This one is from Alicia.
She said, Power Move.
This Power Move involves toast, so it's normally best performed at breakfast time, particularly
the morning after a sleepover.
So I think she's had someone back.
We're talking grown up sleepover or grown up sleepover. So I think she's had someone back. Right. We're talking grown up sleepover or grown up sleepover.
Yep.
Yeah, yeah, out, out and had a good time.
In the morning, if they ask you to cook them some toast, cook the crust bits only.
This implies that there aren't good enough for the normal pieces of bread instead, only
worthy of the pieces that are normally chucked in the bin.
They'll have to eat it, or it'll be a roof.
I wait a burn across.
You use a crust.
Particularly if you've got the actual bit of bread, like if you cook for yourself and
give the two crusts to the other side.
So the key area move would be if you're in a multi-loafed house, right? Like you've got
a few different breads going on if you're in a share house. You give them the crust out of the bread, but
you're on a foff of loaf that you're carving yourself. So you're you're having like a well-carved
loaf. Okay, my final car power move today. Love this. Comes in from Ethan. It's a specific
scenario where you're picking someone up in your car from a main road or busy area
kind of situation where you pull over and the person sort of just dives into the car and you speed up and speed up.
So usually it's like, yep, well, you know, pick up on the way through.
The whole objective here is you don't want to clog up traffic too much. It's one of those pickups.
So if you know you're heading into this situation, before you get get there reach over and slide your passenger seat as far forward
You know the rush nature of the drive by pick up their unlikely to check the seat before jumping in door immediately be confronted with their knees being up to their chin
You can then double down the situation by yelling somebody the effect of come on mate. You're holding up traffic
Disquist themselves into a tight space before adjusting the seat again.
Hey, we obviously pride ourselves on working at whether people are in touch with
the common man or if they've lost touch. And we're in both with a badge of honor. We're a bit of pride.
So you can have a section you're in. You can have days days when you're in touch.
Feeling very in touch and days where you go, okay. All right.
That is a bit lost touch. This is nice. I just relax up here on the top of the mountain for a while
because life is ups and downs. So you've got to soak it in when you're on the summit.
That's why when people are worried
around anyone in their life that may be losing touch
or pretending to be in touch, come to us
and we'll set them straight.
Emily, just honestly, what we want to do.
Just honestly.
If you bought the in touch of the commentator,
be in touch.
If you think you've lost touch,
we're lost touch with pride.
And that's right.
Emily Camman said,
look, she's got someone in her life
and she's feels is wearing the incorrect stature.
Yes, her brother Mark Johnson,
she said that he has, he's anywhere,
he's in touch with the command t-shirt with pride,
although he'll soon be driving.
He's very own brand new Tesla.
He claims to not be out of the embroidery of a lost touch,
but clearly, if you go into Tesla and get yourself a new car,
maybe you can.
So we thought he actually gets the car this afternoon at 5pm.
We thought we'd give him a call now and try to pretend to be someone
from Tesla, Australia, Zealand doing basic market research
on the type of people
that buy their cars.
The list of questions.
It's a classic touch test.
Damn.
And see to see where he sits.
Yeah, we've come up with, we really, I'd say we put a
solid eight minutes into thinking of these questions.
So I think people will be able to hear when these
questions come up.
They've got some real range finders in here.
You'll know exactly if he's in or out of touch
Okay, Jack you've got the number and
He's grabbing the car in Auckland. I think this afternoon
Hello, Mark speaking is that Mark Johnson? Yeah, it's Campbell Brooke calling on calling from Tesla straight in New Zealand
How are you? Good. Thanks. How are you?
Yeah, good. I understand that you're picking up a new Tesla in Tesla Auckland this afternoon 5 p.m
Yes correct terrific. I just wondered we're just calling from a market research point of view for all of
Tesla or Australasia and that's one of you had a moment now for a couple of quick questions
If it's not a good time, I can always call you back.
I suppose it's okay, yeah.
Sure, okay.
Looking forward to the car?
Yes, very much.
I can imagine.
First Tesla?
Yes, it is.
Okay, terrific.
So these are just basic, getting to know you type questions.
Do you rent or own the place in which you live?
I'm going to try to live.
Yeah, so your house, where you live at home, do you rent or own what's kind of trying to get a better
understanding of what Tesla owners look like in their demographics?
I own.
Oh, your own. Okay, fantastic.
And how is that a one bedroom house, a two bedroom house?
Six bedroom. one bedroom house or two bedroom house? Six bedroom.
Six bedroom house.
Wow, a wopper.
Are you there by yourself?
Who is this?
Sorry, this is Campbell.
I'm just calling from Tesla, Australia, New Zealand.
No, I don't reckon.
It is. I don't think so. Campbell, I'm calling from Tesla, Australia, New Zealand. Laura Ricken.
It is.
I don't think so.
Are you not picking up a Tesla in Auckland this afternoon?
I am.
Okay, so sorry, who do you think it might be?
Hamish and Andy.
I'll be nice to have all those cows of suspicion and relaxing all the bedrooms to charge on the power of suspiciously living a six-bedroom house.
Yes.
Wow, that you are.
We were going to go through and find detail and try and find the in touch lost time. Continue him.
But on the first question you
probably go well I browse the first shot of our head.
Can we can we can we can we go through the rest of them.
We have spent some time here crafting the questions.
I just like to see you can get back.
You can you can jag it back.
Okay.
What kind of heating do you have?
Yes. How much of a kind of heating do you have?
How much more kind of heating?
A ventored heating?
Ventored.
What's the most?
You know, if it was a blower heater.
At least it's not underfloor.
It's probably maximum, must be nuts.
What do you do for a job?
I'm a production manager.
Do you have a managerial position?
I do.
You're okay. Okay. Right.
What kind of coffee do you drink?
Macona. Oh, you make your own touch. You make your own.
Yeah. It's one tick on very intense. Yeah.
Yeah. Sure, you're not picking up a highlight.
How many times have you ridden a horse? How many times have you ridden a horse?
How many times have I ridden a horse?
A few, yeah.
How many?
How many?
Well, I used to, I can't really put a number to that one to be honest.
Was it a working horse or was it a pleasure horse?
Right horses.
Are you a doggie?
Yeah, it was for a few years, yeah.
Okay, that's a bit more into it.
I thought we did think like Polo or maybe beach trots or something.
Do you know someone who owns a boat?
Oh, yes.
Yeah, do you own a boat?
No, I did not own a boat.
Okay.
How often are you going out on your friend's boat?
Not that regular.
No.
I still think you...
Well, see, this...
I don't know.
I don't know.
I feel like this is...
I feel like Makona really jagged it back and working on a horse.
Only one, him, because...
So, Mark Emily wrote to us...
If you said that it's...
She's your sister if you don't.
Which Emily I'm talking about.
So many raps, so many family members.
She says that you continue to wear an in touch with a conwear man shirt, even though you'll
soon be driving your very own Tesla. You claim not to be able to afford the embroidery, but you've got a six
bit underfloor heating. I reckon it comes down to what model of Tesla did you get?
Three. That's Jack's alleged intent. He's a common man.
Mark, a lot of connectivity with the Tesla. What kind of phone do you have? He's a common's unguy, but
should he get gifted Apple phones? Yeah, Apple and just marketing scheme. That must be
very nice. That's a new phone. You can't get a track of where the models are at.
I think I'm going to have to take a hand. Thanks, you're in touch, Jacko. He's in touch.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, A couple of weeks ago, we were talking about school primate videos. Yes. Come across a few.
Watch the few lately.
As you look at prospective schools, the highlight for me was a beautifully shot, like
on a crane.
Cinematic shot of some kids watching a chess match and one of the kids' mouths.
I think swear words.
Like a thin slow mo.
Yeah.
Some kid doesn't move and the crowd around him just go nuts like, oh, wow, look at this.
And you, and that's to show that, hey, when it's not just sports, you know, like we got,
we got wild chess games going on at one time too.
And you watch this video and you go, there's absolutely no way this happened. Yeah.
On top of that, you go, the kid mouthing the swear word is probably doing the gang a
solid because the, the, the, who's making the movie is probably just after more and
more and more enthusiasm until you're allowed to finish.
I felt watching it, the kid must have gone, all right, I'll give you a big one.
And if you're happy with that, we got a lunch.
So that, that, that, you know, look, this was just my vibe, right?
Turns out I've hit a nerve because so many, so many emails have come in with people uncovering
the world of school promo photos.
Well, we talked about the water polo one as well.
You're in a water polo one where I think every time you see a water polo, it's a jump.
You're jumping off the bottom.
You're jumping off the bottom.
The bottom of the shallow end.
It's not you are not legitimately hovering your body out
of the water.
No one has that leg strength, even the professionals to get your, your, your, your speedos all the way
out of the water.
No, no, no.
They're, they're reckonassal on where there was knees out.
Quickest egg beta at all time.
Getting close to Jesus levels of being able to not quite walk on water,
but certainly just up to your ankles. And then you could levitate.
So this comes in from Jack, I'll try and protect people's identities a little bit here
because there's a fair bit of whistle blowing going on. All right.
Said, look, this is from Jack, as yeah, I am a teacher in the Technology and Innovation
Department of an Elite Sydney school, but the
primary section.
Right.
So it's a private school.
About one's a term, we have a professional photographer come and we whip out all the cool
expensive robots and drones, etc. which I've never literally never seen or used any other
purpose other than these shoes.
Select the students get put out of class to come back for really excited about these as
well as pretend to code as we give them an iPad and they code with some completely unrelated
code on it all while holding their mouths open and all.
I also once had to hold a year group back into lunch after a lesson as the head teacher
wanted to get the perfect panoramic sort of all turning on the light up devices then made.
So everyone had made something in science that lights up.
I don't know how they thought we're gonna get 58 year olds
to complete this, just improv to you,
un-re-scoreography,
that we ended up giving you about 20 takes
and called it a day.
I'm gonna ask you a discuss again.
I forgot it was primary school,
but yes, obviously that's even harder for primary school.
I mean, you're eight-year-olds. Like, everyone, now, everyone power up your inventions. We didn't make these.
We made them.
This is from Grace.
He said, guys, in response to the primary photo segment, school primary photos, as a teacher at a school,
I can confirm that almost 95% of what goes on in the photo shoot is staged and made up.
I was asked for the most animated face while I had paint all over my hands for the video.
The last thing I do when I have paint over my hands is smile.
I watched the prom on, I thought, wow, they actually made the school look good.
I would never send my charge to a school base purely off the video.
Awesome. most purely off the video. Oh, so this is good.
This one came in a fair bit.
There was an instance in Queensland, Queensland Department
of Education, where a couple of kids, you know,
around a Bonson burner, they got safety goggles on stuff
and it made it into the pamphlet and one of the guys
was flipping the bird.
As he's leading across the news.
So I do appreciate that one.
This is the game.
No, I think this will be right up your alley.
This is from San.
And I said, look, I was listening to the school primar photoshoot
and I thought about how my old school made us take
a very stage cricket photo.
He said to report, it's also your old school.
Oh, no.
Campbell, well grammar.
That was a surprise.
It was to show off the new sports center.
Oh yeah, okay. What's the name of that sports center?
Andy Lee, my wife.
Andy Lee gets all the chicks sports.
It used to be the Keith Anderson oval, but they might have upgraded it.
There was a sports center in the background.
However, the person that taken the photo photo, you're nothing about cricket.
So the photo ended up being taken,
not on a cricket pitch.
But on a random patch of grass on the school oval
with only one stump behind the batsman,
and they keep having no gloves, pads or helmet on.
Here's the photo,
because I've attached it for you to enjoy.
Look at this.
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh! There's a guy bowling a ball in the foreground. No pitch. No pitch.
Just three slips. What looks like three slips in the upper. No, there's not two. There's not two
baddies. There's not two people baddies. No, there isn't. Yeah, there's no we could keep you
and say or the keep you or he's. So the one thing you could say is, maybe they're making it look like the boys have
got in full whites at lunchtime and they're just playing a pick up game of cricket.
But if that's the case, why is the batsman in full gear?
It's not a training, does it not just a knock around game of cricket?
No, there's no stumps at this end.
This is...
No, and the ball is coming into ball, it looks like no stumps at this end. This is no. And the ball is coming into
ball. It looks like he's bowling at full pace. So, yeah, thank you very seriously.
And if you look closely, it's a brand new ball. So, it's not just, it's not training.
The other part to this, which is definitely for the photography and the apologies
who have described it, but often depth is really difficult. So, like, if you, everything
one thinks, it's closer. So, if they if you, everything one thing's a bit closer.
So, if they're probably in the, at the cricket pitch,
they'd be too far away from the sports center
because the cricket pitch is in the middle.
So, they've had to move it closer to the center.
You're right.
And then, a wicket keeper and the slips
would never stay in that close if you were
a baseball player.
A baseball player's going fast,
but because of the photo,
they couldn't have them standing too far away.
So they're standing almost in line with the stats.
The other great thing is yeah, and he's bowling full-paste, right?
Close to the sports center now you mentioned it, which appears to have a completely glass for start.
So no wonder there's three fielders all trying to stop the ball because if any of them isn't going straight through the newsport center
Awesome awesome takes the cake
And oh
Regal listeners of the show might remember recently on the show you
Let everyone know you unsuccessfully tried to gift Jack a second-hand toilet
from your beach house. He didn't want it for reasons that made a lot of sense. He had a toilet.
It was an off-guard improvement.
Tim will want to settle by dad regularly. That kind of...
Even though your country property where this is the toilet and question is, you're off grid, resort.
I assume you haven't, that's the toilet that they had at the property before you bought
it.
That's true.
So a guy called Mickey, he would have settled on that toilet a lot.
Many times.
And I think, I think what Mickey would have done, why did he move off grid in the first place
without them noone shining.
Owning a bottle and then exploding onto the toilet.
And you're quite happy to sit on where Mickey's been.
That's true.
I think more people have sat on that toilet than this one.
Well, Mickey was no, I would say it was a kind of
reckless top character.
It's Captain Deep in the bush, you got to remember.
So he could be the only one who sat on it for a while.
I know.
You got to also, you got to also remember there's not a lot to one who's sad I don't know for a I know. You got to also
point. But I'll also remember there's not a lot to do at your
property, Jack, especially because there's no electricity.
So
doing the
tour.
It's
going to the
tour. It's one of the big confractions.
He might have spent most of the day.
That's to I think that's true, Jack, maybe less people have
saddened, but it's been sat on more often.
Yeah.
Yep.
Okay. Cheek toek to the seat time.
Very, very high.
Anyway, you said no, you were within your eyes.
You mentioned you were within these rights.
They said no, and unfortunately, we've overruled the last
of the teen store in this toilet.
That's what this segment is.
It's forcible toilet installations.
If you've got someone in your life who's like to force a wheel of toilet on them.
No, that's totally fine.
However, Jack, you might be interested in what comes next.
You would think that hearing that I would go, okay, there's not an appetite out there
for items from someone's house that might have a better home somewhere.
Yet, it hasn't stopped me.
It hasn't stopped me because I found out this week
from, we got our house renovated last year.
I lost a battle during the renovation.
Actually, one of the only things I wanted in the house
was overruled.
When we were designing the kitchen, I just said, look,
you guys, I'll even have to the designers,
I'm sure you'll do a great job, and Zo,
and she's talking to the builders. The only thing I want is a incinerator,
one of the Googler. Oh, I call it incinerator. I thought they outlawed them with something.
There was like 90s thing when you don't see them. You don't see them. You see them. They're
on the custom of being made mandatory, I heard. So for real, don't know.
We had one of the foods growing up.
The 80s house of the best food scraps.
You put them in, food scraps in this sink and then it turns it all up.
You press a button and it eats it up and it can all just go down the drain.
But what it stops you from having to do is like fish out all the odds and ends and little
bits of like, you know, pasta and peas and just throw all kinds of carrots and stuff.
All goes as long as this food,
it can all go down the incinerator and this thing.
Now, I was calling it an incinerator,
no one knew what I was talking about.
They called it a gurgler.
Now I don't know if that's an incinerator.
It's an incinerator for me.
In fact, becks, parents just moved back to Victoria
and then you house they've got an incinerator here.
So that's the brand name.
And that's how they all was like, guys,
how could you not have,
and even the builders were like,
we've not heard of this,
it's like your builders.
So is the number one thing people ask for?
Not the number one thing people ask for.
So it's got like a little rubber
kind of mouth kind of thing that the food falls down
like the thing on Star Wars
that Jabba the Huck jucks, people into it.
So it's very exciting to watch stuff get in the Instagram.
And it was a huge,
especially as kids in the house.
Huge issue.
That there's just like the sink is just full of junk.
And I go to Zoe, you will want this honey.
Like our sinks are always just full of food.
Like this will solve that problem.
She's like, I don't think they are.
I think Zoe got offended in the meeting that I bought up that our sinks are always full of food. Like this will solve that problem. She's like, I don't think they are.
I think they've got offended in the meeting
that I bought up that our sinks are always full of food
in front of the designer and in front of the builders
and she's like, I don't know what you're talking about.
I was like, you absolutely do.
And then for a few days after that meeting,
I noticed her really getting out of her way to clean this.
I was like, well, are you going to keep this up for 20 years to pretend that I was wrong
to bring up an insane creator?
I go, I'm putting my foot down, get the insane creator.
They go great.
No worries, we'll install, we do the kitchen.
During the kitchen install, something happened with pipe angles or plumbing, whatever.
And under the sink, there wasn't enough room or we were going to lose a cutlery drawer or something because it does take up under the sink. That's the benefit outweighs
the room you have to put in. So I don't remember the conversation happening, but during one of the
discussions of the alterations, Insincradent didn't go in. The current house now has no Insincrader.
Absolutely. We've had this renovation. It's meant to solve your problems. Our foods are full of things
for full of food all the time. And it's just I was over it.
I'm sorry to hear this. Anyway, I know. I appreciate it. Fand out during the week,
we still bought it. We still bought the encingrater. And I'll see you in the
future. It's like, by the way, mate, here's the girl we never used. I said, I
thought I knew it got over. Like, I, I, you got over right.
I obviously know we don't have one. We always like, yeah, it had been bought. So it's all
yours. And I was like, well, it's, it's a real slap in the face because now I've got this
thing in my hat sitting at home. You love to be able to use, but you can't. Dying to use
it, looking at, looking at, you know, like scraps of dinosaur pasta clogging up the sink every night
Wishing I could just push him down and get Googled up
And I think well it is yeah, it's well pass refund time as well
Perhaps a listen of the show would like the joys of an incinerator. Wow a girl. Do we run some kind of contest?
To give away the girl? Yeah.
I, here's my one condition.
I would like to enter as well.
I don't know if it's a raffle or whatever.
I was going to say, you know, I'd like the rule to be the
if I win, it has to get put in my house.
But I just also, I feel like if I presented that desire to go,
look, I won this thing.
Yeah. But we have one
As it stands we do own one. Yeah, and she doesn't want it
So I don't know if I'm returning home with the same ones saying we're now I've won it back
We have to put it in. I don't think that would overall so do you know what?
I'm happy to be out of the contest
But would she agree to something like say there's a hundred ruffle tickets very unlikely that you would win
Would she agree to eat? What about it just as many of people register for the girl?
Yeah. Then if you get picked out, it's huge.
It's fate. Unlike you.
I know it's anger.
It's absolutely you.
And I'm on your side.
And similarly, she's not running up her current position,
which is, it's not in the house.
But she's like,
Yeah, but if you said it was in fate, she, you know,
that's exciting. I mean, if your name gets,
it's how we call it. So we call it.
Which you call it.
Let's call though.
Yeah, let's have many tickets.
We sang a thousand.
You know, on the same thing, and as we call though, we should do the same for my toilet
of Jack with...
That's the one here.
That's the one here.
That's the one here.
That's the one here.
That's the one here, do we install it?
Yep.
Because...
I can't wait to make this unregable.
I can't wait to make this unregable.
It's unregable. Should'll make this unregable.
But should this occur, we have to put it in.
She unlikely she'll answer.
Hello.
Hi honey.
Hi, go.
Hi honey.
It's your husband.
Now I know you're busy at work and you have a real job and so do I, because I'm busy at work, too.
Same with Andy, same with Jack, here's two jobs.
Well, a job and a hobby.
Thanks.
Honey, we're in the middle of something
and the guy's brought up this crazy idea that I'm like,
oh, look, okay, my arms being twisted in here.
You know how we didn't get the gurgler in the end
on the incinerator in the kitchen, and we still line it?
Right, I was thinking of giving that away to a listener,
and just because it's silly for us to own
the incinerator and you know, you never go around using it,
even though it would be great to have,
because we do have a lot of food scraps in our sink.
Then the goers go, so we're going to do just a raffle,
1,000 tickets.
The lucky person gets the good one.
Then the fellas in here start going, hey, hey, you should enter.
And if you win it, you should go in your kitchen.
I'm like, oh, come on, guys.
I think that's faked.
It's faked.
You know, then they start going because it's faked.
And I'm like, look, I don't think so.
We'll go for that.
And Andy goes, well, she does believe in that stuff. like if it's meant to be, it's meant to be.
So I'm like, listen, boys, all right. We'll give her a call.
You know, I think I tried to make this a pretty clear permission to enter the competition.
Yes. So what I'm saying, and if I get a ticket, we legitimately do a ring in a thousand draw, an unregable draw, but I win,
can we put it in the kitchen?
Well, I have a lot of tea in seats.
It's nothing to do with like,
you're associated with the people
putting on the competition,
so you're prehibited, fantastic.
And I'm putting on the card.
I mean, you're thinking,
you're thinking of radio days,
but there were teas and seats.
This is podcasting.
No rules at hand.
Absolutely.
So will you take the deal that in the one and a thousand chance that Hamish wins, you
will install the GERGLA.
I know he wins it.
You don't get installation.
No, we'll pay for installation at the show.
No, that's the price.
Sorry, the price is to you win it and you get installation.
And who will pay for the ongoing plumbing costs costs because that's why we didn't install it
No, it's not that's a myth
That's just I don't know why he said that if you can if the podcast compare
Nice nice tempered no, no, we were not except ongoing
I mean, I mean if you win if you win a cruise and a whole set of luggage,
you don't think, oh, can I get a cab fare?
To where the cruise takes off.
You've won a massive prize.
I mean, I think that's good enough.
You're not going to win, so sure, go for it.
Yes, so nice.
So nice to see you.
OK, back to you.
Thank you so much, honey.
And you should also know that Jack is entering a raffle
to win Andy's second hand tour.
If he wins, he has to install what sometimes there's a downgrade in tour, let him use that.
I'd say cheerlead upgrade.
There's a lot of excitement on the mind here.
Okay, see you soon.
Thanks, Andy.
Are you sure?
Raffle.
Renovation Raffle is good.
Do we have to tell people how they enter or anything?
Yeah.
Under you, Ding. Okay. Ding undone. Um, yeah, so to enter.
By this, simply go to the website and there's form there. Fill it out. Jazz will make it. Fill it out. First thousand people are going to be capped and then we will obviously be drawn in a completely
randomised way.
Four T's and C's available at the website too.
No, at our website.
No, at our website.
At our website.
Four T's and C's available.
At our website.
Just four T's and C's are available.
Not at T's and C.
We've got our website.
How do you get them?
How do you get them? That's up to you to know. Good luck. The Hammish Nandy podcast will return next week.
Catch up or contribute at hamishanandie.com.
you