Hamish & Andy - Hamish & Andy 2022 Ep 199

Episode Date: November 23, 2022

1. Give a screenshot this Christmas 2. GISS update - An accidental fart 3. Ben the Currency Converter - Special Skill 4. Winds of Glory ...

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 A list-nuff production. Activate your internet. Cos the Hamish and the podcast starts in 3, 2, sorry, still buffering. 1. A hoi-timi Crown, Hamish. Ah yes, we are the royal family and I am clean others of it. That's not good news. Now for you.
Starting point is 00:00:33 Still a good monarch. Long, mashy. Long may we think about her reign. Yes, that's nice. We're teeth. No. Hello to me club, Jack. Oh, we're a pack of cards, no, because then the crayon are we playing bridge? I am the heel. Club crown and heel. We different parts
Starting point is 00:00:56 of a weapon. We are the three individual bun pieces that make up a big Mac. Oh, that's good. That is good. Yes. I'm obviously on top of the crown. Jack in the middle, the club. And I'm the heel at the bottom. Obviously, if Jack's not here, just a cheeseburger. A quarter-patter.
Starting point is 00:01:16 We get rid of the club. That's a center piece of bread. That's fine, not a cheeseburger, because of course then the Sessimi Sedes would be out of place. And you'll be wondering why the crown has the jewels of Sesame Seeds on it. But I don't know what you mean. We, McDonald's back story, we did run out of, of, of Cheeseburger Bans 1. And I had to ditch, I ditched the club, the middle centre. So Andy doesn't work there anymore, we should point out,
Starting point is 00:01:40 he works there when he was 19. Ditch the club to create a smaller bun. So yeah, there was Sesame seeds on a cheeseburger. You should have picked them off, really. Too much time, Jack. It has been a detail, man. Exactly. I mean, you see, you can't plate that up
Starting point is 00:01:55 and serve that book that's not. Well, we did, and that's predominantly why I left a shave. Under the cloud of Sesame Gate. Can I just say, look props I'm glad I learned that factor about the crown the club and the heel. I've also made a big neck all clubs. All right all double club like if you put layers and layers and layers or you just three clubs. Three clubs we just thought what would I prefer to see if I may. Crown club, crown. I would have, you could do away with the meal.
Starting point is 00:02:27 I'd like double sesame seeds on both ends. Oh, yeah, okay. So you don't know which way to eat it. Because I don't know if I'd be there in press-deating of three clubs. It's less bread than the normal version. It's too soft on top of it explodes, structurally. Correct.
Starting point is 00:02:40 But you have to try it. You don't. I like that I learned this fact, but I'm ashamed at McDonald's. Well, to mix such a mixed metaphor, none of those three things relate to each other. Well, crown and heel, you could possibly then make the other one body-related.
Starting point is 00:02:56 Yeah, waist or mezzanine or make it like, you know, penthouse mezzanine basement. I saw you saying. Just link them together. Crown and the head heel of your foot and then belly button.zzanine, basement. I see what you're saying. Just link them together. Crown of the head, heel of your foot, and then belly button. Yeah, bells, something. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:03:10 Okay. Ahoi also to, to, to, to, to, Maybe if you were carrying a club, you'd carry a waist height. As a caveman. Or as a policeman. Oh yeah. So there's better things to pick in the mid range of a body.
Starting point is 00:03:24 Yes. Xavier, ahoi to pick in the range of a body. Yes. Xavier, I'll hold you for using the blanket. Because it's a blanket suit to cover some of the whole thing here. It's the top, okay. Under sheet. No, no, no. No, no. There's got to be a better thing.
Starting point is 00:03:39 What do they call the middle of the Oreo? The cream. I'm kind of, it's work. There's got to be a better thing to pull. Or just top middle bottom would probably work. That'm counting that. It's gonna be a better thing to pull. Or just top middle bottom would probably work. That would be good. Ahoy also has those big back tops. I don't know what you mean.
Starting point is 00:03:54 Crowns. Oh, thank you. Ahoy also has Xavier using the very easy system to use at Hamish News. I've come to upload what he's been up to. Xavier from Sydney. Ahoy gentlemen. Um, currently just walking back to my car in Bondi after encountering a Hamish Blake
Starting point is 00:04:11 pet net Brockman's welcome home party. Um, now I've already actually got a bow from Andy back in Sydney doing a lockdown last year. And I was in the show back in 2016, so I need to complete the Hamish bow. And I go up to say, say hello, I bow. Paphetic bow on it, and I can barely touch my toes. I remember it. But then Hamish goes, someone hold my beer,
Starting point is 00:04:33 proceed to touch the floor, and just says, you're just hugging the floor. It's not that hard, and then I shake his hand and leave. So I feel like I've been power-moved and also got a bow all at once. So appreciate it. Anyway, thank you. If I teach, he won't learn. If I do, he shall. From my actions, learn your
Starting point is 00:04:53 bows, my friends. I've seen it impressive. Hopefully people catch you out and about and get to see it in the flesh. During our government mandate, a break, it's coming up everybody. Two weeks time the government is slamming down and it's been saying you've got to stop podcasting and we say no, no we'll never. Couple of feels, couple of feels in place, might not happen. The mandate a break might not happen.
Starting point is 00:05:12 We do have a few appeals in order. But they have actually threatened to send an agent out. They said, look, don't make a send someone to your last show to shut you down. Because we said, what if we stayed on the mic? That was one of it in one of our letters. We said, we might just stay on the mic for three months. And that's just one show in broadcaster,
Starting point is 00:05:32 like a filibuster in US politics. And they went, and they were like, you're having a nice war. And we were like, oh, we're doing the same. Yeah, we did do it. We wrote that, just one letter. Yeah, I'm lawyers letterhead. Oh Yeah, yeah, they did like that. They didn't like that and defend out an agent. No, there's not ideal
Starting point is 00:05:52 But anyway, hey, we mentioned last week that we have some new merchandise dropping today. Yeah, we're gonna Give hogs a week to decide whether he was gonna be the king of distribution for us Before we announce what type of merch it is. We've got him back. Horgs, Horgs, Horg, hello, Jens. Horg, go, firstly, this is a happy birthday, by the way. Happy birthday, Horgs, but I feel like this is like waiting to see who the World Cup host will Yeah. We'll have you decide it. Yeah. Hopefully it's a transparent process, although we know we could send you a gift or something that would help us lubricate the the wheels. You are going to see whether you're, sounds like are you out at the warehouse now?
Starting point is 00:06:40 I am. Come. It's, can you hear the trucks in the background? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Can't stop a good man working. I am calm. It's it's can you hear the trucks in the background? Yeah, yeah, yeah Time stuff a good man working. Are you are you out there seeing whether your facility can house the merch and Distribute it with minimal class. Yeah, just telling the team They really excited about One day one One name won here, so you can hear the hutch exciting background.
Starting point is 00:07:13 So, Hogs, first of all, do you think that you'll be out of management? On, on confident. Now, there's obviously, there's a few things we're going to work through, but yeah, no, what do you need to work through? Because obviously, it would have been worked through. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:07:30 Now it's worked through, but I mean, you haven't even told me what I'm sending out. Well, I have, but you're keeping the illusion. What do you know? We've never talked to this just yet. We just haven't told the list this year. That's exciting, that's an exciting leading into the announcement of the new merch. There will be new teas. We have done black with white writing, we've done white, with red writing and it would go, oh that's it, all the colours have been... No, there's more colours. We looked at the rainbow.
Starting point is 00:08:05 We got a box of turments and we went... We found another colour. We've got these colours. We are going to release a blue t-shirt. Collector's Edition. Mm-hmm. With gold lost touch with the common man embroidery. Gold shiny.
Starting point is 00:08:20 Yes. Like shiny, gilitary lost touch with the common man. This one's a collector's edition because that's the golden writing. Yes. Not actual gold in it. Glittery. Yes. As a gold effect.
Starting point is 00:08:31 And then there is a more bronze colour. Tarnished. For the lost cut. Tarnished. The in touch. Sorry, the in touch has the tarnished sort of bronzy print. As always, in touch of the common man is printed. No need to show off.
Starting point is 00:08:44 Lost touch of the common man, any embroidered, golden, luxurious fit for a king type of thread. Yes, to show that the recipient of the T-shirt or yourself has lost touch. Perfect, common man. Perfect for a first date. Really sets a huge impression. Great, come Christmas time.
Starting point is 00:09:00 If you're catching up with Reli, if you haven't seen for a while, and you want to let them know exactly how good things are going, or I'll also score a union. Or if you want to do it Reli, if you haven't seen for a while and you want to let them know, it's exactly how good things are going. Or if you want to do, yeah, that's great. I mean, I don't know if we're talking about lost touch or in touch. Lost touch. Yeah, good news guys. I know it's cool.
Starting point is 00:09:14 I've seen pretty darned worth a lost touch. A thing's going well for them. I've managed to lose touch. But here's the big announcement. That's sort of the on-t. That there's new collectors additions in touch and lost touch with the car mantichets. The big news is there must be nice hats. Yes.
Starting point is 00:09:33 Chuck them over here, Andy. Got two in the studio right now. We have a fishal, Hamish and Andy must be nice hats. Yeah, looks good. Three colors to choose from. Blue, white and green. Yep.
Starting point is 00:09:50 Two styles. Two styles. Yeah. The five pound. Yep. And then the other hat. It's a, well, it's dead hats, they call. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:09:59 And a baseball style cap, we would not recommend you playing baseball. People would not admit you do any teams. You still must go through the selection process if you wish to make a baseball team, but it is a baseball style hat. And then we've got what they refer to as dad hats these days, but you do not have to be a dad. Have to be a dad to what I said, dad style hats.
Starting point is 00:10:18 There he is. Baseball style hat, a dad style hat. Well, if I'm a dad that likes baseball, get to you idiot. That's the obvious answer. So hogs, now that you do know the merch, do you think you'll be able to deal with that? Because people may order a tea and the hat and there is, you know, you're worried about how many SKUs
Starting point is 00:10:39 is the term used in distribution? Is this going to crumble the system in there now that we've got three hats, two different, three hat colors, two different styles and two styles of teas? Well, the thing is with the books obviously, because the books are still on sale. They're in a package that can't damage the books, which is great. Yeah and the t-shirts They're hard to damage aren't they because he's put him in a bag and that's I'm worried about the hats
Starting point is 00:11:13 What am I how am I sending them out? That's your problem We're Organizing the facelina can must be nice hats. Yeah, must be nice hats and they are of the highest quality We did not manufacture a hat box. We thought our shipping person would do that. Yes. Normally in the shipping terms and conditions, you guys would have to supply the packaging.
Starting point is 00:11:36 That's not true. I've bought lots of hats that just come in the Express Post bag. Do they? Yeah, I don't think we're not worried about. Jack, you've bought hats online. Yeah, I mean, that's why I like a hat kind of really get that damage. Yeah, it's on a top hat. Like it doesn't, it's doesn't have to be kept in a special box for the wedding day. It's also got the cardboard inner lining that's true. We have taken it upon us as a pre-reinforced
Starting point is 00:12:01 for it. So is that okay? That's great. Yeah. So it comes with the cardboard reinforcement almost like a bulletproof vest that hats wearing on the inside. Yeah. So all clear from your hogs? I've got one more question for you. Okay. Or query. Can we, do we have to have like an invoice or a picking slip in there and we just send whatever they've ordered. What would no receipt? No. Correct.
Starting point is 00:12:29 What? What? Why? Oh, it's just another layer. A work common layer. I mean, I, because I don't want to make junk from China, they send the invoice. Yeah, no, but you can of, you're buying it online. You'd think you guys would send out the invoice.
Starting point is 00:12:51 Right. But isn't that just another layer of checking as the guys putting it into the box? We didn't see that it matches up with the invoice. Yeah, like when you order the fish and chip shop, isn't it nice to see the receipt on the bag to be like, yes, two calamari, two kids bags. Where do we don't have a checker anymore?
Starting point is 00:13:07 We go on computer rost. But can't the computer print one? It can. I just prefer not to distract it. Okay. I mean, if you get a slip, it's true. I only have a look at it. What is the slip?
Starting point is 00:13:23 I've usually forgotten what I've purchased by the time it turns up. So I only have a look at it to make sure that it's all in there. And if it wasn't there, I'd just go, I guess this is what I bought. Yeah, but if you go back, you have your email, like whoever's sent the order confirmation. You got the order confirmation. I think it's fine. Well, where we thought through. All right, all right. Like how much does that save you time wise? Well, where we thought through, all right, Augustine. Like, how much does that save you time wise? Oh, it's just, you can, we can scan it and then put it in and then close the box and, and away we go.
Starting point is 00:13:50 It's like, oh, shit, where's the printer, you know? Okay. Yeah, no, look, I've never, I've never, I've never run a warehouse. I don't know. I guess I'm only imagining how difficult it would be to find and connect a printer. But if it is that tricky, yeah. I hope we're not looking back on this next year going, why did we let dogs do it without a checklist in each item?
Starting point is 00:14:12 But if you say there'll be no errors, then if you can guarantee us no errors, you don't have to put a slip in. Garantite. And also better for the environment. Yes. There you go. That's good. Okay. Reason. Hogs, that signs you off. That's good. That's the reason. That signs you off.
Starting point is 00:14:26 Now, I'll show you until everybody, Hey, that's great. Hawks will let you go. Thank you, mate. That's great news. Okay. So the warehouses are set up. Yeah. Or you just got to let them know when it's coming as well.
Starting point is 00:14:38 Yeah, that's the next one. We'll stick around and listen to this. Okay. Have a listen to this. Have a listen to this. This. This appeals. Now, the hats we're really excited excited about we took a bit of time to get them perfect Yeah, there was a couple of back and forth like arc. We make it this way
Starting point is 00:14:49 We wanted them to be great hats and they are great hats That's fantastic and that's from two guys wearing hats right now. Yes, of course everyone wants a must-be nice hat Wouldn't it be the item ultimate present for Christmas? Yes, the self the friends perfect Chris Gringle whatever we thought so too however yourself, the friends, perfect Chris Gringle, whatever. We thought so too. However, there is just due to how long it sort of took to get things going. We all know logistics at the moment, you know, can't get a Melbourne to Sydney fight. So things are tough out there in terms of moving stuff around. We've had the situation before where there was a slight, a longer than expected delay
Starting point is 00:15:21 on some angle. We weren't, let's just be really clear with the fact that when can they be delivered turns out it's in January. That's not, which we know is after Christmas, after Christmas. That's not a terrible thing. No way. Because it actually made us realize this gives us the perfect opportunity to let people give something when they buy the gift zone that's actually even more powerful than that.
Starting point is 00:15:45 Yeah. More beautiful, more collectible, yeah, more special this Christmas. Here it is in Adform. This Christmas is only one thing on people's Christmas list. The Hamish and Andy must be nice hat. Yeah, I do want that. But wouldn't it be better to be given the knowledge you own the hat right now to get the physical hat later? I think so, but explain more.
Starting point is 00:16:10 Due to the Gistical reasons, our production facilities can't build hats right now. But boy, can they build suspense like an absolute master's showman. The Hamish and Andy must be nice hats. Won't ship until January 2023. But they're available to buy for that special someone right now and you can show them it's on its way! How? By giving a screenshot of your order confirmation page, the Hamish Nady web team have worked
Starting point is 00:16:39 over time to ensure you can purchase a must be nice hat for a friend, colleague or someone who needs hat-based informing that they are living out of touch with the common man. Then, upon checkout, all you have to do is take a screenshot to prove your generosity. Don't look for a special button or anything to capture the screenshot. Just take the screenshot the way you normally would. Then, this Christmas, don't add to the clutter under the tree, keep it simple. Given that screenshot, your friends and family will be blown away by the screenshot
Starting point is 00:17:08 of the autocomformation page of their brand new, must be nice hats, in one of three stunning colors or two stunning styles. Whoa, how's the resolution on this screenshot of the confirmation page? I wish I could print this page off and wear it as a hat. My very own autocomformed screenshot must be very nice. Given the only thing they want this Christmas,
Starting point is 00:17:32 a screenshot, then eventually a hat. Give a screenshot this Christmas everybody. Give a hashtag, give a screenshot. It's the only thing that people want. I know I'll be busting for a screenshot and given a few myself. Give it a couple of screenies. Get lost in the clutter of present. Great. It's something wrapped. Oh great. I get it today. And I'm bored of it by Boxing
Starting point is 00:17:55 Day. No, no, no, no. You get the knowledge of owning it today, but the excitement of receiving it in mid to late late jam. The equivalent of Harry Styles tickets. Exactly. He's the ticket. Exactly what I was saying. Oh great, I'm looking forward to this event. Anticipation is the present. And so is the hat.
Starting point is 00:18:15 It's a different presence. It's available now at www.avg.com. Right now go www.avg.com. Boom. Get your hat. Just try and get it. Just try and get it. Just try and get it. Just try and get it. Just try and get it. Just try and your hats. Just try and get them. I reckon so do get the must be nice hats.
Starting point is 00:18:25 Give the screenshot this Christmas. Light up someone's life literally. Yeah, because it's a scream. Horg, does that cover everything off? Oh, he's gone. Sorry. He's gone. Yeah. Ah.
Starting point is 00:18:40 Halfway through the air guard. And don't think that he did this. Halfway through the air, God. And I think that is a bit of a... Hey, Mish, we're not famous for a lot of things, but the things we are famous for and proud of. And one of that's the gifts. Obviously, one of your great concepts. And in fact, let me let the founder explain it quickly to everybody, the Gohan and Susty Seconds.
Starting point is 00:19:04 Gohan and Susty Second seconds is a body movement system, a body waste expulsion. Yep. Really way of life. It's sort of, it's a more of, it's not even the culture it's sort of a club you belong to. And if you do make it a way of life where you are able to do a number two in under 60 seconds in the toilet at a public, at a restaurant or a cafe. So no one suspects what you've been up to in there.
Starting point is 00:19:30 And someone's house. I think it's also good at someone's house. It's such a fast time. The house can be troublesome with smell. With a cafe, you can always just pretend it was someone else. Yep. You can pretend it was so fast there's absolutely no question that you could have been doing in there. and that's why it's gone in 60 seconds. As I always say, it's not pleasant, it's not comfortable, there are concessions you have to make, there are sacrifices you have to make, that is the price of success, that's the price of greatness. One of your key aspects to it was preparation. You always have to be starting the next action while you're doing the current action And that includes on your way there mental signaling. Yeah, open the bomb by doors
Starting point is 00:20:10 Don't start shitting pants That's not what I'm saying just for the clout this for clarity But I am saying mental signaling because what happens to the human body is you sit down and talk then you begin to relax then Sometime later the movement happens this happens. You don't have that time to spare any guy in 60 seconds. You have to start the relaxation part as you're heading in. So the other time, your thighs touch the plastic of the seat, that's the dream that is bombs away.
Starting point is 00:20:38 That's the part I wanted to concentrate on. Young man called Lachlan came up to me at the pub and he said, I just think you should have been alerting us to a potential problem with the opening phase of a kiss. And I felt it was irresponsible of you and I haven't probably the show is on large. So I said, I'm telling you the incident. He said, we've at work got a new receptionist, he said, she's beautiful. Really into it, we're all trying to flirt and so on. But the problem is, there is only one toilet, and it's next to reception.
Starting point is 00:21:15 She knows the work purpose. So you have to walk past the desk to get to this blue, and then she knows exactly how long you've been in there. And he said, so he's like, a slink pass like a naughty dog if you've been in there for, you know, 10 minutes. Yes. So he's obviously there goes, that's not an option for me because I'm trying to impress this girl. I'm very keen to ask her out. So I remembered the great teachings of the Grandmaster of the Guest Hamish Blake. And he said, don't try to get first one at work. Yeah, but you keep going. He said I was walking through reception and was smiling to her and began the mental side of things. We also have to verbally call to people.
Starting point is 00:21:57 I'm off for a week. I think you have to do that. It certainly helps. As any magician knows, that's part of your pattern. I think you do that when you're leaving a table, we're just walking past reception. I don't think you need to say. Offer way. You inception it gently in her mind.
Starting point is 00:22:13 That's all. But you're suggesting that the mental stimulus, you got to tell your body that this is about to happen. That's coming down. Yep. Stop relaxing. As he went past, maybe he smiled at her. He's let off.
Starting point is 00:22:24 There is. The biggest, longest fart. As he went past, and he smiled at us, he's hit off the biggest, longest fart he's ever. He's a catwalk. I'm not a charge of his aim, I'm sorry. At some point, you have to take responsibility for your own equipment. But relaxation was something you affirmed just now, really strongly, that's important. Begin the relaxation.
Starting point is 00:22:42 That's a Bombay door open. Okay, that's, you look at aircraft carriers's a Bombay door open. Okay, that's you look at aircraft carriers like you look at the the the the the the Navy guys are like there. The Bombay doors unopened is they're taken off. Okay, it begins to happen when you near target or on target. Yes, you don't that's just sloppy unfortunately. That's porcephalic control. That's what it comes down to. And look, they take practice. They're going 60 seconds to take practice. It's not the kind of thing you can just rock up to and nail at first time.
Starting point is 00:23:10 It's a pleasure being at the guy that I saw the other day. Me and Jess, WebKeyes and Jess were having coffee. Jess had to go and see them by myself. I hear a very loud voice from one meter to kind of my left and behind me. The guy, someone has approached a waiter at the cafe and it said very loudly, excuse me mate, where are the toilets?
Starting point is 00:23:30 I just need to have a wee. And my ears, Victor, I think I know what's going on here. I turned my body, he turned the guard walking past, looked at me, winked and went, start the time. Right at the moment, You got it, pal. Hit the timer on my watch and just started filming. I don't know where the toilet is. This is the first time I've been there.
Starting point is 00:23:52 I'll give you the benefit of the doubt. I'll allow a, when the door opens the door closes, that's 60 seconds. It doesn't have to be from the table. Some walks along the numbers. When it got to a minute 30, I went, well, we're looking, he's fallen well outside here. I bet the door can't be that far.
Starting point is 00:24:10 The toilet can't be that far away. And he came back and I said, you know, it was like a minute 50 or something. I said, what happened? Like, you know, did you do two? Did you take a long phone call in there? He came and he went, mate, the door's such a slow door on the toilet.
Starting point is 00:24:26 Because if you've been to this, it's so heavy, so heavy the door. Not 20 seconds. He was claiming, dude, you have a sort of 15 to 20 second door in it. Oh wow. Like it was a rock in front of Jesus too. I mean, that's a like a roll open.
Starting point is 00:24:41 They get into the door and roll it back. Yeah. But what happened was the competition, the excitement of the day went to his head. He's gone, oh, there's the founder. I'm going to show off here and do my first one ever. And it just doesn't often work like that. Like practice.
Starting point is 00:24:54 So that's the real it at home. And again, sacrifices have to be made because drilling at home, you're like, but hang on, I love doing going to the toilet at home. Take my phone, it's been 15 minutes, it's a really relaxing time. I'm not giving that up. Well, that's the price of greatness.
Starting point is 00:25:09 That's if you want to be doing it out in public, that is what you have to give up. Except for you, Jack, you probably hate pooing as well as fighting, don't you? I like a poo. Finally. He's human. Hey, if you have a special skill, hit us at www.hamishnirty.com. There's a drop down tab.
Starting point is 00:25:32 Special skills. There is. I don't think there is actually, but there should be. There should be. And your brother builds the website. Go on to it. I want to talk about this afternoon. But essentially, you can fill out some details.
Starting point is 00:25:42 Be a part of the show, including something that your brilliant hat that regular people fail to recognize you for. There's no arena. The AIS won't give you the scholarship. Yeah. And the Olympics won't admit it. The X-Men are fictional. So what do you do with the call and call?
Starting point is 00:26:01 You just got to get put through. No. And people at Marvel, you know, explain it to you thoroughly. And you go, okay, well, thank you. The movie's presented as a very real thing. I understand now. You stop calling them. So you just go, where do I take this?
Starting point is 00:26:13 Where do you go? Where do I take it? And that's why you take it to HamishNarity.com. Bendy just that he joins us now from the British version, Ireland's been. Oh, no, UK. Okay. Okay, well, something on the phone system's re-routing.
Starting point is 00:26:28 So no doubt an interesting tax loophole, Annie, we'll talk to you about off air. Then, Ahoy, do you? You wrote in, you can convert different currencies in your head. So, we can pick a currency from anywhere in the world and you can convert it in your head. So we can pick a currency from anywhere in the world and you can convert it in your head. From any currency to any currency bit? Yeah, well, I've just been told you want to do it to the dollar, the Australian dollar. Yeah, we wanted to do it to the Aussie dollar because we think it's going to be easier for everyone to follow. So essentially, if I said I wanted to buy something for a certain amount of Chinese yen, you can go to me, bang. That's this amount of Aussie dollars.
Starting point is 00:27:07 It's the wine, isn't it? The Chinese yen is an interesting hybrid. Japanese yen, sorry, it's the wine. I'll get Chinese yen. Yeah, you would go, geez, you don't hear me. I'm just trying to get these days. So, how come, Ben, what are you doing in life, your regular life that requires you to know all these currencies? Well, when I was at a weed boil, I used to trade currencies. I mean, not anymore, because I mean the pounds don't start somewhere in the place, but... Then it says on your phone that you're 20, you used to trade currencies,
Starting point is 00:27:44 what, like, as a 10 year old no It's been 17 and you actually trading currencies like not just playing a game From the from the pound usually against the dollar really Yeah, you know just keep my own all the other currencies well I mean did it too well feel like do we, do we, we like, buying your first car because there was a, there was a great swing against the Euro or something? Yeah, it would have landed over. That was quite cool. Oh gosh, it was just playing Xbox or something. I was, I was trading weapons on Golden Iron in 1064. There we go. Okay.
Starting point is 00:28:25 Ben, what we want to do is set up, look, a simulation here where I'm going to walk into five different stores that are country themed. Around the world. I'm going to ask the buy something. Hamish the store owner will tell me what it is in that particular country's currency. And I'm going to turn to you and go, oh, Ben, you're good with this stuff. What is it an Aussie dollars?
Starting point is 00:28:48 So we want you to convert everything back to Aussie dollars. This isn't in the days before, yeah, the days before being on a have your phone on you overseas, that you're sort of like the perfect travel companion that can instantly give you the exchange rate. We've got five different countries. Obviously, we've locked it to today, but we'll give you 10% either side
Starting point is 00:29:07 for an error rate. Is that fair? Great, yes, that was good. Okay, I want to call that the spread in the Forex game, yeah. In the game, yeah. Yeah, good. 10% for YouTube. Well, maybe we could maybe he'll come over to your house and we'll buy land roads. Yeah, that'll be good. Maybe he'll come over to your house and we'll buy land roads. Yeah, that'll be good. Hey, five, how many, four out of five for the win? Four out of five.
Starting point is 00:29:27 Four out of five for the win. Let's jump into it. It could be in Africa, or Poland, but Ben doesn't care. He'll convert the currency, baby. Polgies for that, Ben that Ben okay heading into the first store Hi, not to the accent
Starting point is 00:29:56 What mate welcome to uncle Charlie's bees and Bobby's UK you can do the UK Uncle Charlie's Bitties and Bobby's there we we go. We're a gift shop in the U.K. Oh hi there. May I buy a B-feet as hat? Do you have one? So in the can, that's 46, so 46 pounds. LAUGHTER Okay, 46 pounds.
Starting point is 00:30:19 46 pounds, I've been my friend here. What's that in Aussie Dollars? Oh, that's, £76? That's £76 you mean? Aussie dollars? Oh sorry, £76 yeah. I'm going to give it to him. It's $80 bucks. We had it at obviously a different rate, but that's within £10% So we'll bring... OK, you got it?
Starting point is 00:30:41 It's happy. OK. We'll start with an easy one. You started with an outta. You're getting outta. Andy planted it, he's planted it. Now he travels. Yes, I'm going into a different store. Oh, hi there. Can I make welcome to get it India.
Starting point is 00:30:55 Indian artifacts and treasures. From all across the country. Wonderful. I was hoping for a replica Taj Mahal. Just a small one please. You're in luck mate. Please sell the greatest replica Taj Mahal's. How much? What am I supposed to be? You won't find them in the better price anywhere else. Across the subcontinent. 78,000 Rupee. Then, how much is it?
Starting point is 00:31:24 78,000 Rupee in Aussie dollars? I'm going to be around about 1200 Aussie dollars. I've got it at 1450, mate. No, listen to your friend, it's about 1200. But I, it's a fail. It's a fail. We got a fail unfortunately. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:47 I mean, you're in the rural. You're in the ballpark, really. The fact that you... Especially the countries that have thousands and thousands of. You just have no idea. Yeah. Again. Okay.
Starting point is 00:31:55 You must be perfect from now on in the... Let's head into another stall. Oh. Oh. Can I make... Welcome to Yes Way. I'm going to do yes way. Norway's greatest. Norway's greatest gift store.
Starting point is 00:32:13 We're in Norway, Ben. I'll yourself in. Yes, I would like to buy a Viking helmet, please. Well, as we always say here, yes way. We have a Viking helmet available. Which is-croner. Oh Ben, what's a 150-croner? No engine croner. No engine croner in Aussie dollars. Errrr... 700 croner. No engine croner. No, I did.
Starting point is 00:32:50 Sorry, chap. No, that's quite alright. We can do it. Well, do we just do the sale anyway with that hearing from the friend? About about 21 bucks Aussie. Oh, no. Do you want to go into the last couple of stores? Yes, sure it, though. You're sure? No, no. Okay. Yeah. Because it, though. You're sure? I'm not okay. Because at the moment, with one victory and two fails, you're staring down the barrel of wood.
Starting point is 00:33:10 It's dishonor, it's certainly dishonor. But you can beg some honor back here. Let's head into another store. Pfft. Good day boys, welcome to Hungry for Bargains. Hungry's number one gift shop. Great. I was wondering whether you had a, you're simply the pest, a Buddha pest t-shirt available.
Starting point is 00:33:36 One of our most popular sellers. It's 28. Hungarian foreign. 28 Hungarian foreign,, do you say? Ben, what's that in Aussie dollars? Clint Shit, that's gonna be around about 8 cents. He's got a... Oh, I said to you French. It's a cheap shirt. Shit.
Starting point is 00:33:58 Well, he's back here, and well, that's exciting. OK. OK, very good. When I did the commercial that I thought he was right on there Wonderful t-shirt all right one more store. Let's go in Hello fellas mate welcome to tan out of tan Zeneer This is a grie this shop is the best. Bargain store in the world. Tan out of tan.
Starting point is 00:34:26 What can we sell you here in Tanzania? I was hoping for a fridge mag that said you didn't make it up kill him in Jarro. For my mate, Dunk. Yeah, I heard. Who did you make it? You're losing near the sun. Yeah. We're still talking about it.
Starting point is 00:34:44 We're still talking about it. We're still talking about it. But many other people he thought were less athletic than him did make it. Yes. I think you're fair. I know your friend. I know your friend, don't. We still speak of him very, very nervously.
Starting point is 00:34:57 Yes. Do you have a fridge back? Yes. It's big. We need a big fridge because it really rips into it. Yet 55,000 Tanzanian shillings. 55,000 shillings. Tanzanian shillings?
Starting point is 00:35:16 Well, it is a very, very big insulting magnet. Ben, what is that cost in Aussie Dollars? Umm... Oh, Tanz's it in shipping? Hey, it's got me. How's it in shipping? What did you guess, please? So just these kind of shilling things. I'm just showing you how to use in Tanzania. I know it's around about 25.
Starting point is 00:35:38 About 2500 to the pound. What's the Australian dollar to the pounds around about 170? It's gonna be around about, say, $50. Look, it's 30, 37 bucks, but you're doing some great stuff in that heavy horse mate. And we're gonna have a- Because you're going to pounds first, and then to dollars, there's two. Yeah, I sort of work off the pound. I go from the dollar, sorry, from the Tanzanian shilling to the pound. Before the rear one.
Starting point is 00:36:05 And another bucket to another bucket. There's going to be some spillage. Then it's one of the rear ones where I've been super impressed that you can't have a coin. You certainly will get a token of no value. I'm tempted to place a little bit of value on it, but it goes against the show's structure and politics. You could place some value on it, but it's obviously pegged at a floating rate.
Starting point is 00:36:28 Mate, thank you very much for joining us. Well done. We'll send you a token of no value. I think you can keep saying that you can do that. Good on you, mate. A slight admin is been gotten. Sorry, I'm overing the bill, but just a slight bit of administrative feedback for you there, Andy. Great job setting up that segment, but you've done the items and you've done the maths on the, you know, you've written the shillings or whatever. On the Tanzanian shillings, we've done 55 comma in four zeros afterwards.
Starting point is 00:37:01 Now I was in all sorts there, so you've made been meeting? Have you been five hundred and fifty thousand? Well, does he just not know how many zeros he's in a thousand? Okay. So, sharpen up. We're doing math stuff. Get it right. Ring your bell. Hey, next week, uh, final show of the year. We're going to be doing the emergency slide party. Finally, we're probably the number one thing people thought was a peater out. And it roared back to life a month or two ago and we will be taking people down the emergency
Starting point is 00:37:40 slide off a big plane. Yeah, 4.7. The doors will be flung open. The slide will be inflated and then we'll evacuate, evacuate, evacuate. But you won't see panic. No. You'll see glee as people slide down the slide that we've all thought about sliding down in our lives. And finally, we get to do it. That's a nice little present before the government come in and try and shut us down for
Starting point is 00:38:00 the government mandate to break. The letters continue to back and forth continue to won't bother you with the legal chat, but one thing that is available, Andy. Another little present. Another little present is, of course, the remembering project. Yes. This is our other podcast that we've done. Sometimes it's only on less than that, but at the moment, now those episodes are available everywhere.
Starting point is 00:38:18 Yes. Where we sit down and we pick a date in history and we look back at all the possible shows we've done. Sometimes it's like eight shows across two decades. Our producers so great back then, they'd write one sentence describing the break. So we have 28,000 talk breaks with a single sentence describing each of them.
Starting point is 00:38:33 And we look at them and try to remember what the hell we were talking about. Now, with one little snippet we wanted to play for you guys, to celebrate the fact that now these episodes are everywhere, was this is the bit we remembered back to. I it's from about 2014 okay and it was a segment called Winds of Glory wonderful which is where people did amazing thoughts and amazing places I think we should bring it back for this part but yes I never remember it getting old we did cover it on the remembering project the eighths The 8th of August, 2014. What's that smell?
Starting point is 00:39:07 This is the winds of glory! Now, I'd like to just actually just point out to my mother that this is not low brow. This is actually very clever. It's really clever. So if you're going to, after we've done this segment and you've heard it, mum, on the way home, don't just say, you don't have to do poo talk. This isn't. This isn't a poo talk.
Starting point is 00:39:31 No. I mean, the most things go terribly wrong because it's incredible farting achievements. Exactly. And we are the guys that are put a very high bar on this segment. Mum. If a lot of people just chuck in random toots they've done at us and it's not good enough, they don't make it to where. We are very stringent with the facts we put to where.
Starting point is 00:39:48 You have to have farted in a remarkable place. We've had farted in a remarkable human. Yes, or at a remarkable human. We've had prime ministerial farts. We've had the couch of friends. That's a well-documented one. Abraham Lincoln's Wood Cabin, et cetera, et cetera. I think it was Abraham Lincoln's.
Starting point is 00:40:03 I think it was Wood Cabin. I think it was in both places that they did farted. I think it was a red thing. I think it was in wood cabin. I think it was in birthplace that they did a farting. I think it was the statue. Yeah, I think I would have never told anyone to go to his birthplace in the wood cabin. Maybe that was in your own time. Even though we've just given the specific rules, I'm about to nominate a man for Winds of Glory
Starting point is 00:40:17 who breaks them. He has not done a fart in a memorable place, nor has he done it on a memorable person but he's timing and the effort he's going to create a spectacle is exquisite he joins us now LJ how are you mate boys how's it going would you like to in light mandy as to as to what you've been up to 2010 11 12 and 13 new year's eve the very last thing I've done for the year is a fight Wow So how many years for you? For you running so I assume you time it to the countdown. Yeah, like 5 4 3 2 1 5
Starting point is 00:40:59 The last bit of business now Tell me it's like make just the post. Was the first year, obviously, by accident. Oh, first year you had one, you went, hang on, this would be funny, I'd imagine. Yeah, and then, second year round, I just kind of happened again, I was like, Oh, I'm waiting right now. I have a friend.
Starting point is 00:41:17 Yeah, exactly. So two plot points. That's how tradition start in many cultures. Do your friends know about what's going on, LJ? Like, do they? No, I've never told anyone until the winds of glory. Oh, that's a nice place to be. And I see there's the extra pressure now
Starting point is 00:41:30 on bringing in 2015. Yeah, I mean, yet we've looked at this in the years. Yeah, what's that? What's that? Well, the big question is, are you gonna do it again? Hopefully. I'll try. I'll do my best.
Starting point is 00:41:40 Well, well done, LJ. Best of luck. Well, of course, of course, everyone's gonna be thinking of you this year. It's a show's going to get next year. I suppose we'd have to have him show one, segment one. Very first show of next year. We're going to have you on the stage. You've completed five in a row. What's the smell? This is the winds of glory!
Starting point is 00:41:59 As with many things on our shows, we forgot to call him back to next year, but we did call him eight years later on the remembering project. You can see how that went. We won't give it away, but we will say he was aware. He hadn't forgotten about it. He hadn't forgotten about it. You can check it out just typing home. Tell you what happened to the podcast. If only you have podcast apps, Spotify as well. Strengthen your ankles. Boys, do your last calf raises because we are heading to the slide party next week. Huge show. Huge show around out the year. There is a chance we'll be shut down mid broadcast from the government because we might, it might go too long and incur into the government
Starting point is 00:42:38 mandate a break. But if your pals, hey, machine, any can promise one thing and Jack, we promise this, we will fight to the absolute death. To keep that show on before the Boston Shutter's down, join us for the resistance next time. We'll see you later. at www.hamishanandee.com

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.