Hamish & Andy - Hamish & Andy 2022 Ep 199
Episode Date: November 23, 20221. Give a screenshot this Christmas 2. GISS update - An accidental fart 3. Ben the Currency Converter - Special Skill 4. Winds of Glory ...
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1.
A hoi-timi Crown, Hamish.
Ah yes, we are the royal family and I am clean others of it.
That's not good news.
Now for you.
Still a good monarch.
Long, mashy.
Long may we think about her reign.
Yes, that's nice.
We're teeth.
No.
Hello to me club, Jack. Oh, we're a pack of cards, no, because then the
crayon are we playing bridge? I am the heel. Club crown and heel. We different parts
of a weapon. We are the three individual bun pieces that make up a big Mac. Oh, that's
good. That is good.
Yes.
I'm obviously on top of the crown.
Jack in the middle, the club.
And I'm the heel at the bottom.
Obviously, if Jack's not here, just a cheeseburger.
A quarter-patter.
We get rid of the club.
That's a center piece of bread.
That's fine, not a cheeseburger, because of course then the Sessimi Sedes would be out of place.
And you'll be wondering why the crown has the jewels of Sesame Seeds on it.
But I don't know what you mean.
We, McDonald's back story, we did run out of, of, of Cheeseburger Bans 1.
And I had to ditch, I ditched the club, the middle centre.
So Andy doesn't work there anymore, we should point out,
he works there when he was 19.
Ditch the club to create a smaller bun.
So yeah, there was Sesame seeds on a cheeseburger.
You should have picked them off, really.
Too much time, Jack.
It has been a detail, man.
Exactly.
I mean, you see, you can't plate that up
and serve that book that's not.
Well, we did, and that's predominantly why I left a shave.
Under the cloud of Sesame Gate.
Can I just say, look props I'm glad I learned that
factor about the crown the club and the heel. I've also made a big neck all clubs.
All right all double club like if you put layers and layers and layers or you just three
clubs. Three clubs we just thought what would I prefer to see if I may. Crown club, crown.
I would have, you could do away with the meal.
I'd like double sesame seeds on both ends.
Oh, yeah, okay.
So you don't know which way to eat it.
Because I don't know if I'd be there
in press-deating of three clubs.
It's less bread than the normal version.
It's too soft on top of it explodes, structurally.
Correct.
But you have to try it.
You don't.
I like that I learned this fact,
but I'm ashamed at McDonald's.
Well, to mix such a mixed metaphor,
none of those three things relate to each other.
Well, crown and heel, you could possibly
then make the other one body-related.
Yeah, waist or mezzanine or make it like,
you know, penthouse mezzanine basement.
I saw you saying.
Just link them together.
Crown and the head heel of your foot and then belly button.zzanine, basement. I see what you're saying. Just link them together. Crown of the head, heel of your foot,
and then belly button.
Yeah, bells, something.
Yeah, yeah.
Okay.
Ahoi also to, to, to, to, to,
Maybe if you were carrying a club,
you'd carry a waist height.
As a caveman.
Or as a policeman.
Oh yeah.
So there's better things to pick in the mid range of a body.
Yes. Xavier, ahoi to pick in the range of a body. Yes.
Xavier, I'll hold you for using the blanket.
Because it's a blanket suit to cover some of the whole thing here.
It's the top, okay.
Under sheet.
No, no, no.
No, no.
There's got to be a better thing.
What do they call the middle of the Oreo?
The cream.
I'm kind of, it's work.
There's got to be a better thing to pull. Or just top middle bottom would probably work. That'm counting that. It's gonna be a better thing to pull.
Or just top middle bottom would probably work.
That would be good.
Ahoy also has those big back tops.
I don't know what you mean.
Crowns.
Oh, thank you.
Ahoy also has Xavier using the very easy system to use
at Hamish News.
I've come to upload what he's been up to.
Xavier from Sydney.
Ahoy gentlemen.
Um, currently just walking back to my car in Bondi after encountering a Hamish Blake
pet net Brockman's welcome home party.
Um, now I've already actually got a bow from Andy back in Sydney doing a lockdown last
year.
And I was in the show back in 2016, so I need to complete the Hamish bow.
And I go up to say, say hello, I bow.
Paphetic bow on it, and I can barely touch my toes.
I remember it.
But then Hamish goes, someone hold my beer,
proceed to touch the floor, and just says,
you're just hugging the floor.
It's not that hard, and then I shake his hand and leave.
So I feel like I've been power-moved
and also got a bow all at once.
So appreciate it.
Anyway, thank you.
If I teach, he won't learn. If I do, he shall. From my actions, learn your
bows, my friends. I've seen it impressive. Hopefully people catch you out and
about and get to see it in the flesh. During our government mandate, a break,
it's coming up everybody. Two weeks time the government is slamming down
and it's been saying you've got to stop podcasting
and we say no, no we'll never.
Couple of feels, couple of feels in place,
might not happen.
The mandate a break might not happen.
We do have a few appeals in order.
But they have actually threatened to send an agent out.
They said, look, don't make a send someone
to your last show to shut you down.
Because we said, what if we stayed on the mic?
That was one of it in one of our letters.
We said, we might just stay on the mic for three months.
And that's just one show in broadcaster,
like a filibuster in US politics.
And they went, and they were like,
you're having a nice war.
And we were like, oh, we're doing the same.
Yeah, we did do it.
We wrote that, just one letter.
Yeah, I'm lawyers letterhead. Oh
Yeah, yeah, they did like that. They didn't like that and defend out an agent. No, there's not ideal
But anyway, hey, we mentioned last week that we have some new merchandise dropping today. Yeah, we're gonna
Give hogs a week to decide whether he was gonna be the king of distribution for us
Before we announce what type of merch it is. We've got him back. Horgs, Horgs, Horg, hello, Jens. Horg,
go, firstly, this is a happy birthday, by the way. Happy birthday, Horgs, but I feel like
this is like waiting to see who the World Cup host will Yeah. We'll have you decide it. Yeah.
Hopefully it's a transparent process, although we know we could send you a gift or something
that would help us lubricate the the wheels.
You are going to see whether you're, sounds like are you out at the warehouse now?
I am.
Come.
It's, can you hear the trucks in the background?
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Can't stop a good man working. I am calm. It's it's can you hear the trucks in the background? Yeah, yeah, yeah
Time stuff a good man working. Are you are you out there seeing whether your facility can house the merch and
Distribute it with minimal class. Yeah, just telling the team
They really excited about
One day one One name won here, so you can hear the hutch exciting background.
So, Hogs, first of all, do you think that you'll be out of
management?
On, on confident.
Now, there's obviously, there's a few things we're going to
work through, but yeah, no, what do you need to work through?
Because obviously, it would have been worked through.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Now it's worked through, but I mean, you haven't even told me what I'm sending out.
Well, I have, but you're keeping the illusion.
What do you know?
We've never talked to this just yet. We just haven't told the list this year. That's exciting, that's an exciting leading into the announcement of the new merch.
There will be new teas.
We have done black with white writing, we've done white, with red writing and it would go,
oh that's it, all the colours have been...
No, there's more colours. We looked at the rainbow.
We got a box of turments and we went...
We found another colour.
We've got these colours.
We are going to release a blue t-shirt.
Collector's Edition.
Mm-hmm.
With gold lost touch with the common man embroidery.
Gold shiny.
Yes.
Like shiny, gilitary lost touch with the common man.
This one's a collector's edition because that's the golden writing.
Yes.
Not actual gold in it.
Glittery.
Yes.
As a gold effect.
And then there is a more bronze colour.
Tarnished.
For the lost cut.
Tarnished.
The in touch.
Sorry, the in touch has the tarnished sort of bronzy print.
As always, in touch of the common man is printed.
No need to show off.
Lost touch of the common man, any embroidered,
golden, luxurious fit for a king type of thread.
Yes, to show that the recipient of the T-shirt
or yourself has lost touch.
Perfect, common man.
Perfect for a first date.
Really sets a huge impression.
Great, come Christmas time.
If you're catching up with Reli,
if you haven't seen for a while,
and you want to let them know exactly how good things are going, or I'll also score a union. Or if you want to do it Reli, if you haven't seen for a while and you want to let them know, it's exactly how good things are going.
Or if you want to do, yeah, that's great.
I mean, I don't know if we're talking about lost touch or in touch.
Lost touch.
Yeah, good news guys.
I know it's cool.
I've seen pretty darned worth a lost touch.
A thing's going well for them.
I've managed to lose touch.
But here's the big announcement.
That's sort of the on-t. That there's new collectors additions in touch
and lost touch with the car mantichets.
The big news is there must be nice hats.
Yes.
Chuck them over here, Andy.
Got two in the studio right now.
We have a fishal,
Hamish and Andy must be nice hats.
Yeah, looks good.
Three colors to choose from.
Blue, white and green.
Yep.
Two styles.
Two styles.
Yeah.
The five pound.
Yep.
And then the other hat.
It's a, well, it's dead hats, they call.
Yeah.
And a baseball style cap, we would not recommend you playing baseball.
People would not admit you do any teams.
You still must go through the selection process
if you wish to make a baseball team,
but it is a baseball style hat.
And then we've got what they refer to as dad hats these days,
but you do not have to be a dad.
Have to be a dad to what I said, dad style hats.
There he is.
Baseball style hat, a dad style hat.
Well, if I'm a dad that likes baseball, get to you idiot.
That's the obvious answer.
So hogs, now that you do know the merch,
do you think you'll be able to deal with that?
Because people may order a tea and the hat and there is,
you know, you're worried about how many SKUs
is the term used in distribution?
Is this going to crumble the system in there now that we've
got three hats, two different, three hat colors, two different styles and two styles of
teas?
Well, the thing is with the books obviously, because the books are still on sale.
They're in a package that can't damage the books, which is great. Yeah
and the t-shirts
They're hard to damage aren't they because he's put him in a bag and that's I'm worried about the hats
What am I how am I sending them out? That's your problem
We're
Organizing the facelina can must be nice hats. Yeah, must be nice hats and they are of the highest quality
We did not manufacture a hat box.
We thought our shipping person would do that.
Yes.
Normally in the shipping terms and conditions,
you guys would have to supply the packaging.
That's not true.
I've bought lots of hats that just come in the Express Post bag.
Do they?
Yeah, I don't think we're not worried about.
Jack, you've bought hats online.
Yeah, I mean, that's why I like a hat kind of really get that damage. Yeah, it's on a top hat.
Like it doesn't, it's doesn't have to be kept in a special box for the wedding day.
It's also got the cardboard inner lining that's true. We have taken it upon us as a pre-reinforced
for it. So is that okay? That's great. Yeah. So it comes with the cardboard
reinforcement almost like a bulletproof vest that hats wearing on the inside. Yeah. So all clear
from your hogs? I've got one more question for you. Okay. Or query. Can we, do we have to have like
an invoice or a picking slip in there and we just send whatever they've
ordered.
What would no receipt?
No.
Correct.
What?
What?
Why?
Oh, it's just another layer.
A work common layer.
I mean, I, because I don't want to make junk from China, they send the invoice.
Yeah, no, but you can of, you're buying it online.
You'd think you guys would send out the invoice.
Right.
But isn't that just another layer of checking
as the guys putting it into the box?
We didn't see that it matches up with the invoice.
Yeah, like when you order the fish and chip shop,
isn't it nice to see the receipt on the bag to be like,
yes, two calamari, two kids bags.
Where do we don't have a checker anymore?
We go on computer rost.
But can't the computer print one?
It can.
I just prefer not to distract it.
Okay.
I mean, if you get a slip, it's true.
I only have a look at it.
What is the slip?
I've usually forgotten what I've purchased by the time it turns up. So I only have a look at it to make sure that it's all in there.
And if it wasn't there, I'd just go, I guess this is what I bought. Yeah, but if you go back,
you have your email, like whoever's sent the order confirmation. You got the order confirmation.
I think it's fine.
Well, where we thought through. All right, all right. Like how much does that save you time wise?
Well, where we thought through, all right, Augustine. Like, how much does that save you time wise?
Oh, it's just, you can, we can scan it and then put it in
and then close the box and, and away we go.
It's like, oh, shit, where's the printer, you know?
Okay.
Yeah, no, look, I've never, I've never, I've never
run a warehouse. I don't know.
I guess I'm only imagining how difficult it would be
to find and connect a printer.
But if it is that tricky, yeah. I hope we're not looking back on this next year going,
why did we let dogs do it without a checklist in each item?
But if you say there'll be no errors, then if you can guarantee us no errors,
you don't have to put a slip in.
Garantite. And also better for the environment.
Yes. There you go. That's good.
Okay.
Reason.
Hogs, that signs you off. That's good. That's the reason.
That signs you off.
Now, I'll show you until everybody, Hey, that's great.
Hawks will let you go.
Thank you, mate.
That's great news.
Okay.
So the warehouses are set up.
Yeah.
Or you just got to let them know when it's coming as well.
Yeah, that's the next one.
We'll stick around and listen to this.
Okay.
Have a listen to this.
Have a listen to this.
This.
This appeals. Now, the hats we're really excited excited about we took a bit of time to get them perfect
Yeah, there was a couple of back and forth like arc. We make it this way
We wanted them to be great hats and they are great hats
That's fantastic and that's from two guys wearing hats right now. Yes, of course everyone wants a must-be nice hat
Wouldn't it be the item ultimate present for Christmas?
Yes, the self the friends perfect Chris Gringle whatever we thought so too
however yourself, the friends, perfect Chris Gringle, whatever. We thought so too. However, there is
just due to how long it sort of took to get things going. We all know logistics at the moment,
you know, can't get a Melbourne to Sydney fight. So things are tough out there in terms of moving
stuff around. We've had the situation before where there was a slight, a longer than expected delay
on some angle. We weren't, let's just be really clear with the fact that when can they be delivered turns out it's in January.
That's not, which we know is after Christmas, after Christmas.
That's not a terrible thing.
No way.
Because it actually made us realize this gives us
the perfect opportunity to let people give something
when they buy the gift zone that's actually
even more powerful than that.
Yeah. More beautiful, more collectible,
yeah, more special this Christmas. Here it is in Adform.
This Christmas is only one thing on people's Christmas list.
The Hamish and Andy must be nice hat.
Yeah, I do want that.
But wouldn't it be better to be given the knowledge you own the hat right now
to get the physical hat later?
I think so, but explain more.
Due to the Gistical reasons, our production facilities can't build hats right now.
But boy, can they build suspense like an absolute master's showman.
The Hamish and Andy must be nice hats.
Won't ship until January 2023.
But they're available
to buy for that special someone right now and you can show them it's on its way!
How?
By giving a screenshot of your order confirmation page, the Hamish Nady web team have worked
over time to ensure you can purchase a must be nice hat for a friend, colleague or someone
who needs hat-based informing that they are living out of touch with the common man.
Then, upon checkout, all you have to do is take a screenshot to prove your generosity.
Don't look for a special button or anything to capture the screenshot.
Just take the screenshot the way you normally would.
Then, this Christmas, don't add to the clutter under the tree, keep it simple.
Given that screenshot, your friends and family
will be blown away by the screenshot
of the autocomformation page of their brand new,
must be nice hats, in one of three stunning colors
or two stunning styles.
Whoa, how's the resolution on this screenshot
of the confirmation page?
I wish I could print this page off and wear it as a hat.
My very own autocomformed screenshot must be very nice.
Given the only thing they want this Christmas,
a screenshot, then eventually a hat.
Give a screenshot this Christmas everybody.
Give a hashtag, give a screenshot.
It's the only thing that people want.
I know I'll be busting for a screenshot and given a few myself.
Give it a couple
of screenies. Get lost in the clutter of present.
Great. It's something wrapped. Oh great. I get it today. And I'm bored of it by Boxing
Day. No, no, no, no. You get the knowledge of owning it today, but the excitement of
receiving it in mid to late late jam. The equivalent of Harry Styles tickets.
Exactly.
He's the ticket.
Exactly what I was saying.
Oh great, I'm looking forward to this event.
Anticipation is the present.
And so is the hat.
It's a different presence.
It's available now at www.avg.com.
Right now go www.avg.com.
Boom.
Get your hat.
Just try and get it.
Just try and get it.
Just try and get it. Just try and get it. Just try and get it. Just try and your hats. Just try and get them. I reckon so do get the must be nice hats.
Give the screenshot this Christmas.
Light up someone's life literally.
Yeah, because it's a scream.
Horg, does that cover everything off?
Oh, he's gone. Sorry.
He's gone.
Yeah.
Ah.
Halfway through the air guard.
And don't think that he did this.
Halfway through the air, God. And I think that is a bit of a...
Hey, Mish, we're not famous for a lot of things,
but the things we are famous for and proud of.
And one of that's the gifts.
Obviously, one of your great concepts.
And in fact, let me let the founder explain it quickly to everybody, the Gohan and Susty Seconds.
Gohan and Susty Second seconds is a body movement system, a body waste expulsion.
Yep.
Really way of life.
It's sort of, it's a more of, it's not even the culture it's sort of a club you belong
to.
And if you do make it a way of life where you are able to do a number two in under 60 seconds
in the toilet at a
public, at a restaurant or a cafe. So no one suspects what you've been up to in there.
And someone's house. I think it's also good at someone's house.
It's such a fast time. The house can be troublesome with smell. With a cafe, you can always
just pretend it was someone else. Yep. You can pretend it was so fast there's absolutely
no question that you could have been doing in there. and that's why it's gone in 60 seconds. As I always say, it's not pleasant,
it's not comfortable, there are concessions you have to make, there are sacrifices you have to make,
that is the price of success, that's the price of greatness. One of your key aspects to it was
preparation. You always have to be starting the next action while you're doing the current action
And that includes on your way there mental signaling. Yeah, open the bomb by doors
Don't start shitting pants
That's not what I'm saying just for the clout this for clarity
But I am saying mental signaling because what happens to the human body is you sit down and talk then you begin to relax then
Sometime later the movement happens this happens. You don't have that time to spare any guy in 60 seconds.
You have to start the relaxation part
as you're heading in.
So the other time, your thighs touch the plastic
of the seat, that's the dream that is bombs away.
That's the part I wanted to concentrate on.
Young man called Lachlan came up to me at the pub
and he said, I just think you should
have been alerting us to a potential problem with the opening phase of a kiss. And I felt
it was irresponsible of you and I haven't probably the show is on large. So I said, I'm
telling you the incident. He said, we've at work got a new receptionist, he said, she's beautiful.
Really into it, we're all trying to flirt and so on.
But the problem is, there is only one toilet, and it's next to reception.
She knows the work purpose.
So you have to walk past the desk to get to this blue, and then she knows exactly how long you've been in there.
And he said, so he's like, a slink pass like a naughty dog if you've been in there for, you know, 10 minutes.
Yes. So he's obviously there goes, that's not an option for me because I'm trying to impress this girl.
I'm very keen to ask her out. So I remembered the great teachings of the Grandmaster of the
Guest Hamish Blake. And he said, don't try to get first one at work. Yeah, but you keep going. He said I was walking through reception and was smiling to her and began the mental
side of things.
We also have to verbally call to people.
I'm off for a week.
I think you have to do that.
It certainly helps.
As any magician knows, that's part of your pattern.
I think you do that when you're leaving a table, we're just walking past reception.
I don't think you need to say.
Offer way.
You inception it gently in her mind.
That's all.
But you're suggesting that the mental stimulus, you got to tell your body that this is about
to happen.
That's coming down.
Yep.
Stop relaxing.
As he went past, maybe he smiled at her.
He's let off.
There is. The biggest, longest fart. As he went past, and he smiled at us, he's hit off the biggest, longest fart he's ever.
He's a catwalk.
I'm not a charge of his aim, I'm sorry.
At some point, you have to take responsibility
for your own equipment.
But relaxation was something you affirmed just now,
really strongly, that's important.
Begin the relaxation.
That's a Bombay door open.
Okay, that's, you look at aircraft carriers's a Bombay door open. Okay, that's you look at aircraft carriers
like you look at the the the the the the Navy guys are like there. The Bombay doors unopened is
they're taken off. Okay, it begins to happen when you near target or on target. Yes, you don't
that's just sloppy unfortunately. That's porcephalic control. That's what it comes down to.
And look, they take practice.
They're going 60 seconds to take practice.
It's not the kind of thing you can just rock up to and nail at first time.
It's a pleasure being at the guy that I saw the other day.
Me and Jess, WebKeyes and Jess were having coffee.
Jess had to go and see them by myself.
I hear a very loud voice from one meter
to kind of my left and behind me.
The guy, someone has approached a waiter at the cafe
and it said very loudly, excuse me mate,
where are the toilets?
I just need to have a wee.
And my ears, Victor, I think I know what's going on here.
I turned my body, he turned the guard walking past,
looked at me, winked and went, start the time.
Right at the moment, You got it, pal.
Hit the timer on my watch and just started filming.
I don't know where the toilet is.
This is the first time I've been there.
I'll give you the benefit of the doubt.
I'll allow a, when the door opens the door closes,
that's 60 seconds.
It doesn't have to be from the table.
Some walks along the numbers.
When it got to a minute 30, I went, well, we're looking,
he's fallen well outside here.
I bet the door can't be that far.
The toilet can't be that far away.
And he came back and I said,
you know, it was like a minute 50 or something.
I said, what happened?
Like, you know, did you do two?
Did you take a long phone call in there?
He came and he went,
mate, the door's such a slow door on the toilet.
Because if you've been to this,
it's so heavy, so heavy the door.
Not 20 seconds.
He was claiming, dude, you have a sort of 15 to 20 second door
in it.
Oh wow.
Like it was a rock in front of Jesus too.
I mean, that's a like a roll open.
They get into the door and roll it back.
Yeah.
But what happened was the competition,
the excitement of the day went to his head.
He's gone, oh, there's the founder.
I'm going to show off here and do my first one ever.
And it just doesn't often work like that.
Like practice.
So that's the real it at home.
And again, sacrifices have to be made
because drilling at home, you're like,
but hang on, I love doing going to the toilet at home.
Take my phone, it's been 15 minutes,
it's a really relaxing time.
I'm not giving that up.
Well, that's the price of greatness.
That's if you want to be doing it out in public,
that is what you have to give up.
Except for you, Jack,
you probably hate pooing as well as fighting, don't you?
I like a poo.
Finally.
He's human. Hey, if you have a special skill, hit us at www.hamishnirty.com.
There's a drop down tab.
Special skills.
There is.
I don't think there is actually, but there should be.
There should be.
And your brother builds the website.
Go on to it.
I want to talk about this afternoon.
But essentially, you can fill out some details.
Be a part of the show, including something
that your brilliant hat that regular people fail to recognize you for.
There's no arena.
The AIS won't give you the scholarship.
Yeah.
And the Olympics won't admit it.
The X-Men are fictional.
So what do you do with the call and call?
You just got to get put through.
No.
And people at Marvel, you know, explain it to you thoroughly.
And you go, okay, well, thank you.
The movie's presented as a very real thing.
I understand now.
You stop calling them.
So you just go, where do I take this?
Where do you go?
Where do I take it?
And that's why you take it to HamishNarity.com.
Bendy just that he joins us now
from the British version, Ireland's been.
Oh, no, UK.
Okay.
Okay, well, something on the phone system's re-routing.
So no doubt an interesting tax loophole, Annie, we'll talk to you about off air.
Then, Ahoy, do you? You wrote in, you can convert different currencies in your head. So,
we can pick a currency from anywhere in the world and you can convert it in your head. So we can pick a currency from anywhere in the world and you can convert
it in your head. From any currency to any currency bit?
Yeah, well, I've just been told you want to do it to the dollar, the Australian dollar.
Yeah, we wanted to do it to the Aussie dollar because we think it's going to be easier for
everyone to follow. So essentially, if I said I wanted to buy something for a certain amount
of Chinese yen, you can go to me, bang. That's this amount of Aussie dollars.
It's the wine, isn't it? The Chinese yen is an interesting hybrid.
Japanese yen, sorry, it's the wine. I'll get Chinese yen.
Yeah, you would go, geez, you don't hear me. I'm just trying to get these days.
So, how come, Ben, what are you doing in life, your regular life that requires you to know
all these currencies?
Well, when I was at a weed boil, I used to trade currencies.
I mean, not anymore, because I mean the pounds don't start somewhere in the place, but...
Then it says on your phone that you're 20, you used to trade currencies,
what, like, as a 10 year old no
It's been 17 and you actually trading currencies like not just playing a game
From the from the pound usually against the dollar really
Yeah, you know just keep my own all the other currencies well
I mean did it too well feel like do we, do we, we like, buying your
first car because there was a, there was a great swing against the Euro or something?
Yeah, it would have landed over. That was quite cool. Oh gosh, it was just playing Xbox
or something. I was, I was trading weapons on Golden Iron in 1064. There we go. Okay.
Ben, what we want to do is set up, look, a simulation here where I'm going to walk into
five different stores that are country themed.
Around the world.
I'm going to ask the buy something.
Hamish the store owner will tell me what it is in that particular country's currency.
And I'm going to turn to you and go,
oh, Ben, you're good with this stuff.
What is it an Aussie dollars?
So we want you to convert everything back to Aussie dollars.
This isn't in the days before, yeah,
the days before being on a have your phone on you overseas,
that you're sort of like the perfect travel companion
that can instantly give you the exchange rate.
We've got five different countries.
Obviously, we've locked it to today,
but we'll give you 10% either side
for an error rate. Is that fair? Great, yes, that was good.
Okay, I want to call that the spread in the Forex game, yeah.
In the game, yeah. Yeah, good. 10% for YouTube.
Well, maybe we could maybe he'll come over to your house and we'll buy land roads.
Yeah, that'll be good.
Maybe he'll come over to your house and we'll buy land roads. Yeah, that'll be good.
Hey, five, how many, four out of five for the win?
Four out of five.
Four out of five for the win.
Let's jump into it.
It could be in Africa,
or Poland,
but Ben doesn't care.
He'll convert the currency, baby.
Polgies for that, Ben that Ben okay heading into the first store
Hi, not to the accent
What mate welcome to uncle Charlie's bees and Bobby's UK you can do the UK
Uncle Charlie's Bitties and Bobby's there we we go. We're a gift shop in the U.K.
Oh hi there.
May I buy a B-feet as hat?
Do you have one?
So in the can, that's 46, so 46 pounds.
LAUGHTER
Okay, 46 pounds.
46 pounds, I've been my friend here.
What's that in Aussie Dollars?
Oh, that's, £76?
That's £76 you mean? Aussie dollars?
Oh sorry, £76 yeah.
I'm going to give it to him. It's $80 bucks.
We had it at obviously a different rate, but that's within £10%
So we'll bring... OK, you got it?
It's happy. OK.
We'll start with an easy one. You started with an outta.
You're getting outta.
Andy planted it, he's planted it.
Now he travels.
Yes, I'm going into a different store.
Oh, hi there.
Can I make welcome to get it India.
Indian artifacts and treasures.
From all across the country.
Wonderful.
I was hoping for a replica Taj Mahal. Just a small one please. You're in luck mate.
Please sell the greatest replica Taj Mahal's. How much?
What am I supposed to be? You won't find them in the better price anywhere else.
Across the subcontinent. 78,000 Rupee.
Then, how much is it?
78,000 Rupee in Aussie dollars?
I'm going to be around about 1200 Aussie dollars.
I've got it at 1450, mate.
No, listen to your friend, it's about 1200.
But I, it's a fail.
It's a fail.
We got a fail unfortunately.
Yeah.
I mean, you're in the rural.
You're in the ballpark, really.
The fact that you...
Especially the countries that have thousands and thousands of.
You just have no idea.
Yeah.
Again.
Okay.
You must be perfect from now on in the...
Let's head into another stall.
Oh.
Oh.
Can I make...
Welcome to Yes Way. I'm going to do yes way.
Norway's greatest.
Norway's greatest gift store.
We're in Norway, Ben.
I'll yourself in.
Yes, I would like to buy a Viking helmet, please.
Well, as we always say here, yes way.
We have a Viking helmet available. Which is-croner. Oh Ben, what's a 150-croner?
No engine croner. No engine croner in Aussie dollars.
Errrr...
700 croner. No engine croner. No, I did.
Sorry, chap. No, that's quite alright. We can do it.
Well, do we just do the sale anyway with that hearing from the friend?
About about 21 bucks Aussie.
Oh, no. Do you want to go into the last couple of stores?
Yes, sure it, though. You're sure?
No, no. Okay. Yeah. Because it, though. You're sure? I'm not okay.
Because at the moment, with one victory and two fails,
you're staring down the barrel of wood.
It's dishonor, it's certainly dishonor.
But you can beg some honor back here.
Let's head into another store.
Pfft.
Good day boys, welcome to Hungry for Bargains.
Hungry's number one gift shop.
Great. I was wondering whether you had a, you're simply the pest,
a Buddha pest t-shirt available.
One of our most popular sellers. It's 28. Hungarian foreign.
28 Hungarian foreign,, do you say?
Ben, what's that in Aussie dollars?
Clint Shit, that's gonna be around about 8 cents.
He's got a...
Oh, I said to you French.
It's a cheap shirt.
Shit.
Well, he's back here, and well, that's exciting.
OK.
OK, very good.
When I did the commercial that I thought he was right on there
Wonderful t-shirt all right one more store. Let's go in
Hello fellas mate welcome to tan out of tan
Zeneer
This is a grie this shop is the best. Bargain store in the world. Tan out of tan.
What can we sell you here in Tanzania?
I was hoping for a fridge mag that said you didn't make it up kill him in Jarro.
For my mate, Dunk.
Yeah, I heard.
Who did you make it?
You're losing near the sun.
Yeah.
We're still talking about it.
We're still talking about it. We're still talking about it.
But many other people he thought were less athletic
than him did make it.
Yes.
I think you're fair.
I know your friend.
I know your friend, don't.
We still speak of him very, very nervously.
Yes.
Do you have a fridge back?
Yes.
It's big.
We need a big fridge because it really rips into it.
Yet 55,000 Tanzanian shillings.
55,000 shillings.
Tanzanian shillings?
Well, it is a very, very big insulting magnet.
Ben, what is that cost in Aussie Dollars?
Umm... Oh, Tanz's it in shipping?
Hey, it's got me. How's it in shipping?
What did you guess, please?
So just these kind of shilling things.
I'm just showing you how to use in Tanzania.
I know it's around about 25.
About 2500 to the pound.
What's the Australian dollar to the pounds around about 170?
It's gonna be around about, say, $50. Look, it's 30, 37 bucks, but you're doing some great stuff in that heavy horse mate.
And we're gonna have a-
Because you're going to pounds first, and then to dollars, there's two.
Yeah, I sort of work off the pound.
I go from the dollar, sorry, from the Tanzanian shilling to the pound.
Before the rear one.
And another bucket to another bucket.
There's going to be some spillage.
Then it's one of the rear ones where I've been
super impressed that you can't have a coin.
You certainly will get a token of no value.
I'm tempted to place a little bit of value on it,
but it goes against the show's structure and politics.
You could place some value on it, but it's obviously pegged at a floating rate.
Mate, thank you very much for joining us. Well done. We'll send you a token of no value.
I think you can keep saying that you can do that.
Good on you, mate.
A slight admin is been gotten.
Sorry, I'm overing the bill, but just a slight bit of
administrative feedback for you there, Andy. Great job setting up that segment, but you've
done the items and you've done the maths on the, you know, you've written the shillings
or whatever. On the Tanzanian shillings, we've done 55 comma in four zeros afterwards.
Now I was in all sorts there, so you've made been meeting? Have you been five hundred and fifty thousand?
Well, does he just not know how many zeros he's in a thousand?
Okay. So, sharpen up.
We're doing math stuff.
Get it right. Ring your bell.
Hey, next week, uh, final show of the year.
We're going to be doing the emergency slide party. Finally, we're probably the number one thing people thought was a peater out.
And it roared back to life a month or two ago and we will be taking people down the emergency
slide off a big plane. Yeah, 4.7. The doors will be flung open.
The slide will be inflated and then we'll evacuate, evacuate, evacuate.
But you won't see panic.
No.
You'll see glee as people slide down the slide that we've all thought about sliding down
in our lives.
And finally, we get to do it.
That's a nice little present before the government come in and try and shut us down for
the government mandate to break.
The letters continue to back and forth continue to won't bother you with the legal chat,
but one thing that is available, Andy.
Another little present.
Another little present is, of course, the remembering project.
Yes. This is our other podcast that we've done.
Sometimes it's only on less than that,
but at the moment, now those episodes are available everywhere.
Yes.
Where we sit down and we pick a date in history
and we look back at all the possible shows we've done.
Sometimes it's like eight shows across two decades.
Our producers so great back then,
they'd write one sentence describing the break.
So we have 28,000 talk breaks
with a single sentence describing each of them.
And we look at them and try to remember
what the hell we were talking about.
Now, with one little snippet we wanted to play for you guys,
to celebrate the fact that now these episodes are everywhere,
was this is the bit we remembered back to. I it's from about 2014 okay and it was a segment called
Winds of Glory wonderful which is where people did amazing thoughts and
amazing places I think we should bring it back for this part but yes I never
remember it getting old we did cover it on the remembering project the eighths The 8th of August, 2014. What's that smell?
This is the winds of glory!
Now, I'd like to just actually just point out to my mother that this is not low brow.
This is actually very clever.
It's really clever.
So if you're going to, after we've done this segment and you've heard it, mum, on the
way home, don't just say, you don't have to do poo talk.
This isn't.
This isn't a poo talk.
No.
I mean, the most things go terribly wrong because it's incredible farting achievements.
Exactly.
And we are the guys that are put a very high bar on this segment.
Mum.
If a lot of people just chuck in random toots they've done at us and it's not good enough,
they don't make it to where.
We are very stringent with the facts we put to where.
You have to have farted in a remarkable place.
We've had farted in a remarkable human.
Yes, or at a remarkable human.
We've had prime ministerial farts.
We've had the couch of friends.
That's a well-documented one.
Abraham Lincoln's Wood Cabin, et cetera, et cetera.
I think it was Abraham Lincoln's.
I think it was Wood Cabin. I think it was in both places that they did farted. I think it was a red thing. I think it was in wood cabin.
I think it was in birthplace that they did a farting.
I think it was the statue.
Yeah, I think I would have never told anyone
to go to his birthplace in the wood cabin.
Maybe that was in your own time.
Even though we've just given the specific rules,
I'm about to nominate a man for Winds of Glory
who breaks them.
He has not done a fart in a memorable place,
nor has he done it on a memorable person but he's timing
and the effort he's going to create a spectacle is exquisite he joins us now LJ how are you mate
boys how's it going would you like to in light mandy as to as to what you've been up to
2010 11 12 and 13 new year's eve the very last thing I've done for the year is a fight Wow
So how many years for you?
For you running so I assume you time it to the countdown. Yeah, like 5 4 3 2 1 5
The last bit of business now
Tell me it's like make just the post. Was the first year, obviously, by accident.
Oh, first year you had one, you went,
hang on, this would be funny, I'd imagine.
Yeah, and then, second year round,
I just kind of happened again, I was like,
Oh, I'm waiting right now.
I have a friend.
Yeah, exactly.
So two plot points.
That's how tradition start in many cultures.
Do your friends know about what's going on, LJ?
Like, do they?
No, I've never told anyone until the winds of glory.
Oh, that's a nice place to be.
And I see there's the extra pressure now
on bringing in 2015.
Yeah, I mean, yet we've looked at this in the years.
Yeah, what's that?
What's that?
Well, the big question is, are you gonna do it again?
Hopefully.
I'll try.
I'll do my best.
Well, well done, LJ.
Best of luck.
Well, of course, of course,
everyone's gonna be thinking of you this year.
It's a show's going to get next year. I suppose we'd have to have him show one,
segment one. Very first show of next year. We're going to have you on the stage. You've completed five in a row.
What's the smell?
This is the winds of glory!
As with many things on our shows, we forgot to call him back to next year,
but we did call him eight years later
on the remembering project. You can see how that went. We won't give it away, but we will say
he was aware. He hadn't forgotten about it. He hadn't forgotten about it. You can check it out
just typing home. Tell you what happened to the podcast. If only you have podcast apps, Spotify as well.
Strengthen your ankles. Boys, do your last calf raises because we are heading to the slide party next week.
Huge show. Huge show around out the year. There is a chance we'll be shut down mid broadcast
from the government because we might, it might go too long and incur into the government
mandate a break. But if your pals, hey, machine, any can promise one thing and Jack, we promise
this, we will fight to the absolute death.
To keep that show on before the Boston Shutter's down,
join us for the resistance next time.
We'll see you later.
at www.hamishanandee.com