Hamish & Andy - Hamish & Andy 2023 Ep 206
Episode Date: April 5, 20231. Sightings of Andy in the wild 2. Bunnings sausage follow up 3. Up yours to voice notes 4. Nosferatu 5. The cordial chronicles - James’s special skill 6. Mike’s friendly fish catch ...
Transcript
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A least-knife production.
Activate your internet.
Cause the Hamish and the Podcast starts in three, two.
Sorry, still buffering.
One.
A hoi to me, Philbert.
Hamish. You give me a bit. I'll fill it. Ahoi to me Dagger. Jack. Oh yeah. I'll
stub it. Where ready? You are tools. Are we on a fan? You're a fan, but not in the fan that we've
done we've done it both of you guys, but not in the traditional sense of a fan. We're a fan, but not in the fan that we've done, we've done a fan of both of you guys,
but not in the traditional sense of a fan.
We've done a, an oil rig.
No, three tools, probably a very similar handled,
all three tools, the tools, the Philbert, the fan, the dagger.
Oh, we, similar handled tools.
Oh, we watch making tools.
No. Leather craftsmen, we watchmaking tools? No.
Leather craftsmen, we are painted oil painting.
Use your silver for the finer details.
The fan is mainly used for blending
and the dagger just for a paint paint application.
Yeah, right.
I had to correct you, but they're actually all just paintbrushes.
And you use your thickie for coloring in first, medium for some of the hills, and then
you're thinny.
He's the thinny for the birds in the skies.
Birds and pupils in eyes.
So, yeah, sorry to have you.
Rare we don't ride you, but they actually have three other names.
Oh, you also had a Caroline who went to Amishney.com to upload what she's been up to.
Ahoy, Hamish, Andy and Jack.
This is Caroline reporting in from Melbourne, Australia.
Now, you might know that the Spotify rap has come out and my stats were very interesting.
I listened to 10,000 and 19 minutes of your podcast this year.
So this equates to approximately 6.958 days of my year that I spent listening to you guys.
And I simply thought maybe I am the power listener of the year that I spent listening to you guys. And I simply thought maybe I am the power listener
of the year.
And I would like to know if anyone else has
listened to more of HeyMish&Andy.
So let's find out.
Tuck soon.
A-hung.
10,000 minutes.
That's what she said.
We encourage people to go back to the start.
But I wouldn't have thought we've done that
a man of minutes, have we?
We can't get the archive on Spotify, can you?
No, I guess she's repeating episodes.
I mean, I often go one and a half or two times speed.
Is it possible she's listening on 10% speed?
I'm taking her hours and hours and hours to get through it episode.
So she wants the heinous and inequality, but the Joe Rogan Lank. So she listens on 10% speed. I was in, I was in, I was in, I was in, I was in, I was in, I was in, I was in, I was in, I was in, I was in, I was in, I was in, I was in, I was in, I was in, I was in, I was in, I was in, I was in, I was in, I was in, I was in, I was in, I was in, I was in, I was in, I was in, I was in, I was in, I was in, I was in, I was in, I was in, I was in, I was in, I was in, I was in, I was in, I was in, I was in, I was in, I was in, I was in, I was in, I was in, I was in, I was in, I was in, I was in, I was in, I was in, I was in, I was in, I was in, I was in, I was in, I was in, I was in, I was in, I was in, I was in, I was in, I was in, I was in, I was in, I was in, I was in, I was in, I was in, I was in, I was in, I was in, I was in, I was in, I was in, I was in, I was in, I was in, I was in, I was in, I was in, I was in, I was in, I was in, I was in, I was in, I was in, I was in, I was in, I was in, I was in, I was in, I was in, I was in, I was in, I was in, I was in, I was in, I was in, I was in, I was in, I was in, I was in, I was in, I was in, I was in, I was in, I was in handle it. Yeah, exactly. Like, you don't have to slow it down.
There's not a lot of complex stuff.
You can go one speed.
Yeah.
Hey, speaking of one speed, I'm going to change speeds here for a second.
And last week we have a very exciting game over who did I see?
Yes, from me.
You all perspective back from the US.
Yes.
Go into America.
Looks like our listeners, I'm just going through my side of the emails. Our listeners
have been playing a similar game, but it's when did I see Andy Lee? I don't know why, but
I've seen to be getting a lot of sightings of you coming in the old inbox. Really? Now
and of course, I'll of course give you the bride of reply. First one comes in from Thomas Jacobs. Okay. All right.
I'll paraphrase if Thomas is all right with that.
He says he was playing golf.
That sound like the kind of area you might be seeing in here.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
At the Cups in Rye.
Oh, yeah.
And nine whole course.
Yes, that, yep.
I've played with him.
He first noted, and this was over the government mandate break. He first noted, this was over the government mandate break.
He first noted that I was very common man of you
to be playing in nine holes.
Nine holes, probably.
When we, when we know you have several memberships
to some of the more ivory towering courses,
hope to be invited as a guest one day.
I think I'm beginning to prove my worth to come along.
And obviously I won't be able to sit in the club room with you,
but even just to wander the grounds would be a real,
would be a treat.
He's playing the cups and he says they're on the,
the, the, the third hole,
so you're on the third hole teabox.
They were on the fifth.
They glance over at the group and they were just about to shout out and say,
Hey, Andy, when he saw a plume of vape smoke.
All right, it's not true.
It's not true.
My mates go, it can't be Andy Lee.
I said to my mates, it can't be him.
He quit smoking years ago.
I never smoked my life yet.
I see the smoke are from mate to mate
until it finally reaches Ando, who with gusto you might say takes a long city drag of the vape.
He said, look, now I don't want to do I mean, but he said it was on this day I lost my innocence.
On one hand, I thought Ando equipped it on the other. I'm sure he's attempted to break the habit
by transitioning to vapes, although I think he's still got some more to do.
Now, Andy, would you need someone that could this be a mistaken cloud?
I think it's a mistaken cloud.
I don't think, I don't think, I don't think, remember being with anyone that vaped.
He's, I mean, he was two T-boxes away.
It's a long way away.
You know a long way that that's how golf courses.
A lot of smoke is produced by vapes.
So you can see them.
You can see signaling.
Well, not guilty.
So you're saying, did he see Andy Lee?
Or did he not?
He did.
I don't think he either saw a look alike vaping or he saw me and was mistaken.
Andy's blaming it on the vape goat.
Okay.
Second siding.
Second siding.
Hi guys.
This is from Darren Shrek.
Okay.
During the recent government mandate a break,
I was enjoying a quite meal in Ligon street when I spied Andy.
He was having a meal a few tables over with Beck.
I should point out, I'm not 100% sure I know what Beck looks like, but I was very confident
this was Andy.
After finishing my meal and settling in the count, I cited up to Andy's table and politely
asked him for a dollar.
I was bluntly told he didn't have a dollar.
Therefore I requested the obligatory bail.
This time there was no response.
How rude I thought.
Clear this guy's lost touch with the common man.
Come on Andy, you could at least give me a bow.
I suggested at this point, Andy slowly rose to me seat.
I thought he was going to bow, but instead I was grabbed by the collar and told through
a gritty that if I didn't f-off, I wouldn't be able to bow for a month.
That's what I mean.
The sky has lost touch with the coven Eyeside because that was not me.
It was that Andy.
It wasn't me.
I was.
It was this mistake.
It's definitely a mistake about Andy.
I wasn't in like on the street over the Coven and the outbreak.
I don't know.
It was a long break.
It's a long break.
You can't track where you you always go, but no.
Is it possible, Orlando?
You'd played nine holes and you were dizzy from Amy and you flavor a vape or a new type
of vape.
And then when you got to dinner with Beck, you were disoriented.
No.
Is that possible?
It's not possible.
But it was the same day and you just had a bad day.
Was it?
No, I didn't throttle any of my pants until the f*** off. And you just had a bad day. Well, it's a good day. And
No, I didn't throttle any
fuck until the
fuck off.
To be fair, we don't know
where the F stood for.
You just write the F off.
Okay, well, I certainly don't
want to, I don't want this to start.
Okay, I think you've addressed those.
I'm satisfied.
Please don't just fly in all these Andy's sightings.
You know, if you can see it in Andy's sighting,
it has to have happened.
And I'll be the judge from there.
Yeah.
[♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪
Hey, a few weeks back on the podcast,
I mentioned that I was at Bunnings,
which is a big warehouse
full of do-it-yourself items for people who don't know what Bunnings is, how overseas
whispers.
Okay, you're fair enough overseas, fair enough.
Fair enough.
Yeah, hard to dodge what Bunnings is if you're Australian.
I was like, wow, that is a real pause for inclusion there.
Where there's often sausage sizzles out the front.
Sossage sizzles, of course, steam. That's the thing you actually need to explain to
the citizens. We can't be with that app.
With someone, we'll get 300 of the cheapest and most delicious, by the way, sausages sizzle
them in such a way that it will cook them through and through or not.
Not always. Nearly through if they're in a hurry to raise money
for a local charity.
You'll then take the sizzled sausage, put it in bread.
It's a delicious wheat and a lot of paste.
Flats.
Flats.
Snack.
It's cooked.
It's room temperature for the time you get to the bread.
The bread will be folded around the sizzled sausage
and some tomato sauce or ketchup or ketchup.
If you're from the deep south,
we'll be hopped on that sausage.
I heard someone go up there and say,
I'll have a sausage, no sausage.
Yes, that baffled us.
It's baffled us.
A lot of people have reached out and saying
that this happens and they've done it
and they've also
witnessed it. But Sally joins us right now. Oh, how do you, Sally? Well, I do. How are you?
Really well. Thanks for contacting me. Oh, how do you? You say that you are that person
that goes to Bunnings and says ask for a sausage no sausage. I am certainly that person.
I don't say a sausage no sausage I just say I'll have everything
bar the sausage thanks and they don't even blink an eye they just go and get me a piece of bread
loaded up with onions mustard tomato sauce and pay my money and off I go. Now it's a hot onion half
sandwich. It's generally not that hot. It's so an hour, I've heard a cook down the
and comes from the sausage.
The only thing that's been a cook,
but a cooked onion, just for again, for overseas listeners,
onions, of course, a very popular bowl,
a bowl based plant,
can be deliciously cooked.
The first time you did this, were you nervous?
I actually didn't even think about it
because I just love the taste
of sausage oil and onions cooked in sausage oil, but I can't stand the thought of eating a sausage
from us. So are you vegetarian? No, not at all. I love meat, but I just can't stand the thought of
those horrible orange sausages. But I love the smell of them and I love that oily taste.
And so I just thought, well, I'm getting my kids
from the sausage.
Why can't I just have the bread with the onions
and the sauce?
Because that's the sausage.
Exactly.
So you've got a line that you draw.
And look, I do this too.
Like, I know you shouldn't eat bacon.
Like, we all know.
We have lines, but yeah, sausages is one.
Yeah, sausages is one.
We all know when I eat bacon.
When you're, well, just, I mean, yeah, you shouldn't eat, I mean, literally, if you go
on the World Health Organization website, it gives you cancer.
So like bacon?
Really?
Yeah, yeah.
No, not good process meat.
I mean, just don't know.
We all know we're doing this.
Well, I mean, the healthiest thing in the world, but it, no, yeah.
But that's what I mean.
That's where my line is.
I'll get it at cafes and then I'll go, all right, we'll just have a nibble.
Yes, and sov at half a little.
I'm not a packer day man.
I think I'm going to get a cart all of our lives freaking out of that.
Yes, I might be a packer day bake man.
I have to.
They should have a warning on the top of that bed.
And a big pork, big pig, as a, yeah, they don't want you to know.
I mean, they put a lot of effort into it, but now you'll see nitrate, nitrate-free.
That's the stuff that gives you a right.
Basically, they're just like, hey, there's, we'll be honest with you guys here.
There's no two of us better.
It's Colin.
It's not going to be Colin.
Okay.
But nitrate-free doesn't taste as good though.
I know, that's what I mean.
That's what I'm with you.
And we have the lines that again,
how bad could just the juice be?
Because we do like the essence of the oil.
So when you say they don't blink an eye,
when you off-order everything but a sausage,
um, do you think they're being polite,
or do you think it happens so regularly
that they're not blinking an eye? I would like do you think it happens so regularly that they're
not blinking your eye?
I would like to think that it happens so regularly because I think there's a lot of
vegetarians and vegans and things like that out there.
So surely they're just getting bread and onions, aren't they?
They're not getting the onions if it's as you say with the essence of sauce juice.
Look, I think we talked about this last time.
You know, you'd hope for more onions to sort of balance the books a little bit in terms of the cost.
Pretty scum of it, the onions generally I find.
You know, your sausage content equal value in onion.
Sometimes you'll get an eye roll then, but generally they're pretty good.
Is it a different price point, Sally?
To be perfectly honest, I have thought about one such wise saying should I get a discount because I'm not getting a sausage
But then I feel really bad because obviously it's charity. So it's going to be a big icon to the much of dollars 50 and
What what bunnings are you mostly at? I have three different bunnings that I frequent so
One at Carindale Mount Gravat and Ken and Hill
What's your face? Oh? So, one at Carindale, Mount Grivat and Kennen Hill, and the Kennen Hill one, they've got a really greasy barbecue.
So, there'd be a Facebook group and this would be sure, just greasy bunnings, barbecue.
Who's got the greasiest one?
It's an entity put your make.
Unions are so good on the sausage, but they are an effort.
They take longer than a sausage.
And hence, it's...
Are you making labour costs to hire your reckon?
Absolutely. The actual chopping of it, but also just...
And they reduce. They reduce so much.
They reduce... You can have a whole onion on a sausage do.
They're not expensive at the moment, too. So, you know...
I wonder what level they sit there and go,
because the annoyance and the labour costs of having to produce more onions.
I think they get an extra sausage that they can perhaps...
That's it, end of the day.
If I was working the sausages and I haven't manned the bunnings grill,
but if it was the charity that I was involved in and I was working the grill,
I would welcome the no sausage customers, and I'd say,
you know, give that a big bite of it.
I think Bokeh is extra greasy today.
You're gonna love this.
We've all been commenting on how greasy it is.
He's your onions.
A little bit extra in there because of no sausage.
I wouldn't put that much extra in,
but I'd let the person know.
Then the next person that came along,
if they looked hungry, possibly hung over
because that is one of the best time to eat one of these sausages,
I'd go, tea one I might double sausage for you.
They would be blown away.
They would be blown away.
Just with all the energy.
Little by no, I'm just balancing the books for the movie.
Would you charge the mixture for a double sausage?
No, no, I just make their day.
I just make their day.
And they'd probably go and spend more of Bunnings.
Would I see a cent?
I would not.
That's the problem with the system. Sally. Slightly. Slightly.
Slightly.
Slightly.
Slightly.
Slightly.
Slightly.
Slightly.
Slightly.
Slightly.
Slightly.
Slightly.
Slightly.
Slightly.
Slightly.
Slightly.
Slightly.
Slightly.
Slightly.
Slightly. Slightly.
Slightly.
Slightly. Slightly. Slightly. Slightly. Slightly. Slightly. Slightly. But she didn't want the onions, obviously she actually just wanted a piece of bread with butter mustard and
That's that's not I'm giving the bacon thing with butter, but I don't think that's true. That's got any animal product
I think it's just chemicals, so it's probably fine
Extra greasy extra greasy barbecue. It's just a smear of your chemical
Extra greasy, eh, extra greasy barbecue and just a smear of yellow chemical. Yeah.
I guess on that day they must have just really loved it when we walked off.
Yeah, it's two sausages for the extra barbecue.
They're like, triple-past.
We can lose the bread out of this world.
I'm trying this thing for free.
Thanks so much, Shelley, really appreciate it.
Right, Sal.
Don't worry, thank you.
Have a good day.
Bye-bye.
Don't worry, thank you, have a good day. Bye-bye. I'm getting a vibe that is the world over people
fed up with this, which is the voice note.
Lazy people that don't want to text anymore
that just send you a voice note of them rambling on,
they normally have three or four questions in there, which is bloody annoying because
you have to go back to listen to them to actually reply.
There is definitely two types of people in the world.
Now, voice note is a non-voice note.
And I think we'll, it's not uncommon for friendship groups to see skirmishers across
these battle lines.
Yes.
Where they're like, hey, hey, hey, I'm not a voice.
Don't voice that me.
But then other people love them.
I mean, we just can't get enough of, I mean,
Jez, who is our technical wizard on the show,
he's a big fair voice.
And he described it as like an on-demand phone call.
We just pick up and you listen to someone
talk for three or four minutes and you hear their voice.
And these are fan of just having the conversation,
having that side of the conversation,
when you feel like it, but it's not a conversation.
No, it's not.
There's no back and forth.
There's no give and take.
These are the conversations sometimes I would have
with my grandma when she was live on the phone
where she could talk for 10 minutes without ever.
I think I would talk to you about it.
I had a shower once and I put her on mute
and I had a shower and got back out and she was still going. Yeah. Because she would take a breath
not in a convenient time for you to interrupt. No. Like she would go and then I spoke to
them, then I spoke to Maureen and then I said, well, if you're going to do the
you can't get in, you can't get in on the breath. So that's what it feels like,
that's what it feels like with the voice note. It's just a one-sided conversation.
It's people that like often they just do it
when they're walking or something,
or just walking to the end.
They're doing it on their time frame.
They're doing it on their time frame.
They'll add questions for you that you can't remember
because they do two and a half minutes a side of it,
which is inappropriate waffle.
Do you know what though?
Here's my biggest thing,
because it's obviously transitioning from text to now voice
notes.
Here's my biggest annoyance.
I come back to my text at the end of the day.
Yeah.
I just think if you're doing so further, you can go back and look at a message and get
back to someone.
You can't with a voice note.
You can't just sit quietly and get back, because it's not listed.
If the voice note came with a transcript, I would accept
it. Yes. Yes. Yes. The other part is I like sneaking back answers when I'm meant to be doing
something else. You can't do it self-driciously. You can't sit there and listen to one. So you're
bound to wait. A friend of ours, Hugh, had sent me one. I said, I'm not doing this.
Yeah. I mean, it's so funny you brought up here because he, I had this discussion with him over
a year ago.
He said to me, he said, he said, he said, he missed you said this.
No, I'm out.
I said, I'm going to do voice.
Don't do text.
Text me.
Don't do the voice, these voice things.
I can't, I can't handle these.
People wouldn't be aware of his, their incredible podcast, Humor I and Josh's podcast, The
Imperfect.
Yeah. Hugh Van Colenberg from that.
He does love one.
Love's way.
He probably introduced me and now I see the spot fires pop up other places and I've learned
you've got to put them out quick.
We mentioned that Hugh had sent one and then Jack, you said that you go on from here this
week.
I'm only new friends with Hugh and I'm not stopping.
He's not stopping.
And mine was, it's so disrespectful how long he speaks on that.
Anyway, Ironic that his job is public speaker
because when it gets to the voice notes.
That's why he's so good on stage.
He's practicing.
Yeah.
I mean, you look at his Amazon special.
I haven't watched his Amazon special yet,
but it is out recently.
But I know if I watch, I'd be like,
oh, he's doing my, he's doing the voice notes.
He did that to me a year ago.
No, I feel like I've watched the Amazon special.
It's fantastic, it's called Jim,
but his voice notes are rambling.
He, on stage, he knows what he's saying.
He's Pacific.
I'll play you the voice note.
I send him a simple, simple text that just said,
do you want to catch up on Friday for lunch
or Sunday for breakfast?
This is his reply.
I'm sorry, just a quick voice,
man, I'm in the car at the front at home.
And I front as a possibility, I'll just have to see if my mom and dad can come in and look
up for the kids.
The kids.
Sunday mornings are actually Sunday morning might work because I think Penny's dad's going
to come over and take the kids for a walk.
So I come up to Sunday mornings a chance.
Let's say Sunday morning for now, let's pencil it in for like a 930. Oh hang on. Can I send you back some times?
By the way, fight us till a chance. So we're still a chance of Friday. Okay,
let me start again. No. Hey guys, thanks for seeing us for those times. Friday lunch.
Yeah, I'm a chance. If mom and dad can come over, let's definitely do it. That
sounds great.
Sundar can't do it because Penny's dad's usually comes out
to walk the kids but he's not this Sunday.
So I'll get back to you tomorrow if that's okay about Friday.
Okay, see you mate, bye.
I have no idea when you're catching up.
No, I did.
That's the first time I've listened to the message
the whole way through.
You have to stop.
Mate, at the start he goes,
I'm just, I was just sending you a quick voice note
because I'm out the phone with the house.
You as Shimi's got home from work.
I'm surprised the message didn't end with him going,
oh my God, I forgot I forgot to work.
I forgot, I forgot to go in the house.
I'll be on the phone all night.
I forgot to go and see my family.
Shit.
I gotta start doing these a bit quicker.
Yeah, it's wild.
I mean, not to throw everyone to the show under the bus.
He should start again.
In fact, he started again, but didn't start again.
I mean, I won't raise the start of that and start again.
Yeah, maybe he thinks he's doing it to a secretary or something.
They're going to edit this letter.
Jack, I mean, I won't make everyone listen to this,
but Ryan Scheldt from the imperfection.
He's on air partner.
Ryan came and visited us in Sydney like a week ago.
Come and say in Sydney, as he was at the airport,
the thank you, rather than like thanks,
that was a great time, but he's sung a ballad,
a two minute ballad about, like I got it as a voice note
and I opened it up foolishly at like 10 past six,
so try and put the kids to bed.
And it's honestly right, improvising.
Improvising is the key.
A long, slow song.
About how much he enjoyed it.
And I said, oh my God, made a huge mistake.
He listened to this.
Why did I pick this phone up during like bath and bed?
I don't have too many time to do it.
And he's a man who's at an airport who has a challenge.
He's a challenge. He's a killing time. I'm bailing. And I don't have two minutes. And he's a man who's at an airport who has an alley. He's a killing time.
He's a killing time.
I don't even have a second to say.
And do you feel like there's a weird thing on some of the voice notes where it says,
this will disappear in two minutes or keep you view of seeing that?
Yeah, that's on Apple.
I think they expire.
Yeah, they expire.
That's even worse.
Yeah. Because then you's fire. Yeah. Yeah, that's even worse. Yeah.
Because if you ask, they ask three questions and then it's as
expires in two minutes, I'm like, well, oh, I'll no idea what
you'll ever have asked then because it's gone.
Anyway, collectively, the three of us were against voice
notes.
For those that are, I think is the majority, we put something
to song.
I don't feel this passionate about something, and it does
sometimes the muse
is sparked, isn't she?
Yes.
And fingers get, fingers get guitarry.
Speaking of ballads.
And he is one for you and Rob.
Here's the difference, is you wrote this.
Yeah.
When it comes to communication, there's a new fat going round that says, my time is more important than yours,
and I love the way that I sound.
Yes!
I use voice notes, because I'm a lazy twat.
I can reply with a quick tick,
but I send a mini podcast bag.
Oh, hang on.
Okay, let me start again.
For you, Hugh.
Off yours to voice notes. Hang on. Okay, let me start again. For you, Hugh. Accept if your table and run, we'll accept them from you.
And, O. How's your dog?
Henry's good.
Yeah.
She's just got over on each where we tried many different injections.
She's always just sensitive skin doesn't she?
She's a sensitive little girl and she's not as tall as you guys would have thought she'd
got but they're still time to grow.
Now cool, gonna need to borrow her for a few days mate.
If that's cool.
Well, if we're going away, that would be very handy for how long, how long do you need
for? Yeah. Maybe three days. Maybe three days. Well, if we're going away, that'd be very handy for a how long, how long, how long you're beautiful.
Yeah.
Around trips, three days.
Three days.
I'm taking a round estate.
Take a take.
Okay, back we'll have a problem with you just.
I'm going to need, get an age, get an age your assurances here because I've made a promise.
Okay.
In what way?
Well, I've committed to a listener.
No.
You can't just take the dog. I'm not giving the dog to a listener, but I need the dog for something.
Okay, if it's to do with breeding, it's time. No one's banging your dog.
No, no, no, no, and just a simple interstate walk mate. All right, let me explain.
And just a simple interstate walk mate. All right, let me explain.
I recently received an email that, and I warned you, a good luck, you mean, you'll go,
why, where is this come from?
And I've racked my brains and I can't figure that out.
So I just encourage you to go with it.
Just go with what this person's thinking.
This is what they think and who are we to stop people from thinking what they want to
think? Exactly.
Got an EMR from Tess.
She sounds lovely.
Hi there, I'm a massive fan, right?
This happened to fall on my side of the fence.
And I'm aware that Hamish's dog is called Nosferatu.
And so is the distillery that I run.
It will be so cool to get a photo of Hamish and his dog out the front of the distillery
with the massive vampire and the word Nosferado next to him. I realize you're really busy,
but it would absolutely make my year. Nosferatu forever, kind regards the test. Sure enough,
he is a photo of Nosferatu distillery. Giant, as you can see, this giant roller door,
big sign, the vampire, they make gin.
Where is it?
They're in Queensland, right?
Okay.
So earlier today though, I rang test.
At first I was going to break it to be like,
I don't have a dog and I don't know where this has come from.
But then I thought, you know what?
That's not going to be it.
I can get a dog.
That's going to ruin me.
And if that is what test wants,
who am I?
I don't want to be the dream destroyer.
I actually want to be the dream enhancer.
So I gave test a call.
Good morning.
This is Test Fembrutian and Nasserati.
How can I help you?
Is that test?
Yes, it is.
How can I help?
Test, it's Hamish Blake here.
How are you, mate?
Hey, how are you?
Yeah, great.
Hey, I got your email about my dog and about the distillery. And so, yeah, so not so lucky is the distillery
that I run, like I run the cellar door here.
And I'd had no one in your dog
who had the same name, that's so cool.
What are the chances?
I mean, and I was gonna call my dog four pillars.
Ha ha ha ha.
No.
That's what you did, that's what you did.
No, no, no, of course not.
Yeah, so I was reading this and I was like,
I just didn't think anyone else really used,
I've never met another dog called Nosferado,
let alone a gender stillery.
And then I saw the pictures and I thought,
I have to bring Nossy down.
Oh, that would be awesome.
So the tricky thing is,
because you guys in Queensland?
Yeah, we are, we're in Brisbane. No worries, happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy.
I'm so happy.
I'm so happy.
I'm so happy.
I'm so happy.
I'm so happy.
I'm so happy.
I'm so happy.
I'm so happy.
I'm so happy.
I'm so happy.
I'm so happy.
I'm so happy.
I'm so happy.
I'm so happy.
I'm so happy.
I'm so happy.
I'm so happy.
I'm so happy.
I'm so happy.
I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so know, I look, I saw the front of the distillery and I thought, this has to happen.
Awesome.
Got to get a shot of Nossy in front of the distillery. You know, we can even hop, you know,
some water or something in a little gin bottle and make it look like she's having a drink
of her name, say, distillery. Now, I don't know if you need to know the type of dog, but
she's quite a tall terrier. But it looks like you've got quite a lot of garage, height,
clearance there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We've got quite a lot of garage height clearance there.
Yeah, yeah, we've got heaps of space and we've had like dogs from Malibu's to German
shepherds, two hours and stuff come in. Great, so she made it through the door.
Yeah, totally. Yeah, great. Yeah, I mean, well, I mean, thanks for the opportunity to do it.
She's, she'll love it. Oh, I got that. It's amazing. You have
literally just made my day. I'm pledging to bring her. Awesome. Cool. Well, we'll look forward
to seeing you out the front of NOS with NOS. Who's the boss? Always NOS. Always NOS.
Always NOS. Sort of bit of a saying. We've got an outhouse. Okay. Great. Awesome. It's a
complete promise. Awesome. Fantastic. Well Well let me know when you turn like two awesome dates and stuff and we'll get things going.
Thanks, Jess.
Awesome, thanks Hamish.
Bye.
It's a ninja dog promise.
That's why I need your dog.
So you can either flyer up to me, put her in a box, flyer up.
I'll take her from Sydney to Brisbane.
Or what?
My least preferred. My least preferred.
Yeah, or fly, we'll fly to Brisbane. You bring Henry up, that'd be great. Actually,
then I didn't have to do any of the dog stuff. And then I'll just pop on a lead, walk around
the corner, you know. Get a test, this is nice for us. Put a little vampire cape on her.
Just, I just don't want to wreck. I don't know where Tesco is idea, but I'm certainly not here to shout of that dream.
So, yeah, what are you reckon?
No.
But so Tesco, you're listening?
I didn't squash the dream.
The Game of Thrones
The Game of Thrones
I'm very excited to have James join us in the studio.
An amazing special skill we talked to you on the phone just recently with to do with
Cordial.
James, how are you?
How are you?
Very good.
Jimmy, big day for you already.
It's a huge surprise.
It was a team that's available.
You're from Sydney, you're coming down to Melbourne.
Yes, I'm there.
I'm 5.30, 5.30.
5.30.
Yeah.
We're Jetsa or Rayak, so.
Jetsa. Jetsa. 5.35. 5.35. Yeah. And we Jetsa are rex. Oh, yeah. Jetsa.
The Bogan Missile.
But good on you.
You get, it's that thing of like you get there that early and, you know, you make it
over. You make it.
Yeah.
I have a camera.
Three.
And we'll enjoy, especially that terminal to it, sitting with Jetsa goes from, I mean,
that that's actually a superior terminal food court wise.
Is it?
Two quannets.
Yeah, you've got a lot of selections there.
What'd you go for?
Well, I waited till I got here because Carly told me to go to get a sandwich down the road,
but it was a good plan.
What do you think?
At three o'clock in the morning, bread rooster is not a...
But you're here now.
You're here now.
And we've got five cordials in front of you.
Yeah, I hope you didn't have too much to drink at the airport
It was you got a lot to get through here. Yeah, they are three parts water one part cord you as you asked for
Perfect. Yeah, and you said on your special school. You can tell everybody what was your special school?
Well, yeah, I can taste the the flavor of the cordial as well as the brand and then whether it's sugar or no sugar
So that's what that's what the claim is anyways. You can take a sip of one of these five multicolored cups
and basically tell us what the front
of the bottle would have said.
Brand, flavor, sugar content.
Ain't four out of five do we think?
At least, mate.
No, that's not what I can do, right?
We think we just get 112 dollars for an airfare,
I don't know what I'm doing.
You got a proof yourself.
I want a five. James, you ready to go?
Ready to go.
We're ready to jump into it.
You're a like this one.
If you want to identify,
cups of sweetened water with a pal.
Do you know where it's going?
Think I know where it's going.
You should go on James,
and James won't let you down
because he knows Cordial.
Cordial.
He was handed a little bit of whistle at the end.
Okay.
Very good.
James hit into Cordial number one.
Number one.
Okay.
Now I'll go descriptive here for a bit.
It's a, I'm not giving you an advantage.
James, but I don't think I am by saying,
it appears to be a kind of a white slash, you know,
lemony flavoured, but I don't want to lead the witness,
but that's the kind of flavour you usually get
from that colour cordial.
James, is having a scene?
That's a Coddy's lemon line normal sugar.
Incorrect.
C'mon. He doesn't know Coddy's lemon lime normal sugar. Incorrect. Oh, come on.
Oh, he doesn't know Coddy, you know.
Yeah, that is golden circle.
Oh, no way.
Yes, lemon lime?
No, it's just lemon.
Have another sip.
But it is sugar.
Yeah, I can taste the sugar.
Can you taste the absence of lime?
Yeah, very much so.
That's like an appraisal.
Okay.
Tough one.
Okay.
You know what I think it is.
I looked up at Andy when I was...
I thought you were gonna say, you know what I think it is?
I think it's cold, so.
Lemon?
Cold sugar, lemon.
No lime, just lemon.
I'm actually going to get it out.
It's looked up at me and did I palm?
No, no, no, no, no, I looked up to you as a child
and when I heard you started smoking cigarettes,
I took it up for a while.
I think it's time to finish my palette over time.
I didn't even.
Yeah, I smoked seed.
You haven't had much day and that's
and we have a plan to try to fix it.
You got a seed.
Go to number three.
Number three.
The cup goes up now.
This is a green cordial.
He needs every single cordial from here.
Have two sips if you need it.
That's Coddy's no sugar line.
He's got it.
He's got it.
That's the fact.
That's the fact.
You do need to use the cordial.
Cooler cordial.
But it is lime flavor.
Yeah, so I'm caught. You're right. That Coddy's cooler cordial. Cool the cordial. But it is lime flavoured. Yeah, so lime flavoured.
Yes, it's the one.
You're right, the cordial cordial was my favourite going up.
Yeah, James.
You're back in here.
We had to make our way.
I'm going to make our way.
Very interesting.
We'll have to come up.
The worst of all back yard fruits.
Chef's choice mate, which one do you want to go next?
We're going number two.
Going number two.
This is an orange ink color.
In color, yeah, but don't let us throw off.
Could be barbecue flavored.
Lips are open.
Contact is made with mouth.
A little choke there.
Condom plate.
There's so many orange cordials.
That's diet right.
Fruit cocktail. You're's diet right fruit cocktail.
He's right with the fruit cocktail.
Do you wanna have another think about the brain?
Fruit cocktail.
Have another sip if you need it.
Pfft.
And not to, I don't have a sip, fetish.
I know I keep encouraging you to have sips and it makes sense.
The difference is there's fruit cup,
which is the coddies and golden circle.
And then diet rights for a cocktail.
So I'm assuming it's going to be...
I might have got...
When I said you were right about the three coddies.
For coddies, it's not exactly a cocktail.
Yes, more of a cup.
But the brains, what am I after?
I'm going to have to go with coddies again.
Pips.
Okay.
I've never had pips in my entire life.
Oh.
Maybe that's it.
I think the two ones I saw at the supermarket
on Australia on the past the other day was Viva.
Never heard of it in my entire life.
Yep, yep.
And pips.
I think it's pips.
I mean, could pips.
I've never heard of pips.
Could pips be state lines? I mean, I don't even heard of pips either. I don heard of pips. Could pips be state lines?
I mean, I don't even heard of pips either.
And from Queensland as well, so maybe that's a...
It could be in the words.
It might not reach the notes.
Okay, if he gets the last two from two...
Pips is... I've given that,
because I'll put my hand over there.
I've never heard of pips.
Yeah, thanks.
I've never heard of pips.
Is it some sort of pre-premium chicken and sweet corn soup?
You know, you were twenty-two.
He'd heard of it. It just wasn't seen as in-reach.
It was, Jack was already practicing in touch.
Way before.
Yes, I was very in touch, child.
These pips are...
These pips are posh version of cordial.
I don't know, because I haven't heard of it either.
Let's play on.
You've got two to go.
If you get two from two, we'll give you a coin.
Let's start with that reddish-cover-looking one.
James, have you sniffed?
Now he's sniffing.
Now he's sniffing.
Oh, he's looking at it.
Now he's going up to his room.
We have glass on lips.
Again, I don't have a fetish.
Oh, jeez.
Oh, he doesn't like it. Something's hit wrong there. I don't have a fetish. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't have a sip fetish. I want to say big fids.
I'm thinking it's just raspberry.
He's got it.
Oh!
Big fids raspberry doesn't have sugar.
I think it's normal.
Yes, it's normal.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, because their big fids is the premium line, isn't it?
Yeah, it's the glass bowls, everything.
So it's Amber's taste.
And they don't, and so they do not do diet, do they?
No, they do diet, but they don't know sugar.
Yeah, that's the kicker.
Okay, your last one, it all comes down to these.
It's, that was, that previous one was the most impressive,
because you could see, you could tell those a man not,
this is not, Big Fizz is not your go-to cordial,
but it's something that you must know about
as a professional audio-similiar
Doesn't love having a two-handed back in but we'll bring it in
It's part of the game. It's part of the game. Number five. Have a sneak if you want him. We have described that color
urinary
That's big for the world and that's lemon line
I can't give it to you.
It's shwap.
Shwap's through a cordial?
I don't think you know cordial.
Oh!
Oh no, no, it's just shwap's through the SS.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's the premium line.
It's lime juice premium cordial.
Oh, I can't.
Stumble it the lime.
No, no. It's it. I can't. Stumble the line.
No.
No.
And the set.
Yeah.
Did you say lemon line again, or did you just?
Yeah.
Well, I think it just flows off the tongue better than all.
So was that just lemon, just ropes lemon?
Just lime.
Just lime.
So you do probably, if this was a clinic that you'd come to,
like a high performance clinic.
So you haven't come, you haven't like won the Olympics.
It's more of a, you've gone to altitude training somewhere.
And the feedback at the end of us running
this elite cordial camp would be,
look, learn broaden your range.
You obviously didn't know about this,
but if you want to be the best in the world,
you will have to know about it.
You'll have to draw my eyes.
And, and you've got a pretty bad case of ghost citrus.
Where is?
It's true.
You will often introduce another citrus that isn't there. So you've got a sort you ghost citrus, whereas you will often introduce another citrus that isn't there.
So you've got to sort your ghost citrus out.
Pour in your range.
Come back and you take the five.
I think that's fine, James.
To be clear, lemon and lime, you need to start to limiter.
You're a very good amateur, but you're not a pro. Just quickly, Mike, we gave you, we're back in the studio,
we gave you the job of talking to both the fishermen, one that accused the other one of cheating
during the fish identification special skill, you're going to take a, you're going to chair, we're really mediate.
I caught a casual off air catch up.
I had a guy.
Yeah, you know, you for them to both establish whether one of them would accept
that the other wasn't cheating or whether we want to pursue the fact that they
may have been cheating using an app to identify fish.
Yeah, it went really well.
No, we're both great guys.
We did it on Friday.
Yeah, I thought it was good fun.
Awesome.
And did you, we listening to it,
and I'd be the reason we cheered,
you was like, Michael, do this really well.
Yeah.
And he'll be great eyes
and he is in the meeting.
But the idea was it's a time saver
for the listeners too, because...
Yes.
We just all felt that the fish content
had got too high this year.
We were trying to, like, shunt a bit of that off here.
Did you feel like that was the right decision to push it off here?
I think so.
I actually tried in the call to keep fish out of it, because we wanted to get them to
get to know each other, just base level stuff.
Great.
I did try really hard to keep fish out of it.
Just take a listen to what happened.
Is there anything you'd like to know about Joel
that you want to ask him?
What was your first fish you're mambicating?
It doesn't have to be fish related.
It can be general getting to know you related.
Like, you know, and how many siblings do you have or whatnot?
Because we know a lot about your fish life, but not much about your your life.
I should have asked him to at least see.
What's your favorite hobby apart from fishing?
I really like hiking.
Are you gonna meet her?
So they work on your long common ground, common high ground. Um, I really like hiking. Are you going to meet her?
So they were. That's nice.
Come on ground, come on high ground.
Nice work, Mike, because obviously if they kept going back to fish,
you would come back to the fuel of their argument.
And there was a visual, then it was Brendan,
so you just declared that it was Brendan that we're they'd raised the concerns
hasn't hadn't that Josh might have been using that app.
So once you soften the conversation, they got to know each other.
Was there a moment where Brendan accepted that there wasn't any cheating?
Well, we actually did a live test where Brendan could test Joe with Joel's eyes closed.
So we'd re-staged it as though we were on air.
Trusted, been established.
Exactly.
And we all came to the consensus that this was clearly a false accusation.
And there's another little grab resolving it here.
I think I'm going to have to admit defeat and say,
I think the show can go ahead, the fishing show and Joel's, yeah, you checked out.
Yeah, great.
So you can tell the boys that, yeah, a vouch for him.
He's now going to
that brings us now about now that is a huge turn around, isn't it? Yeah. What a
feel good segment this is. Well, there is one more little bit if you just want
to hear how good it's gotten between the two of them. Okay. So if there's ever
like a Hey Mission Andy party, you guys aren't going to get into a brawl, we
can safely invite you both and you can
stand side by side.
Yeah, and I think you did too many chalazies off with fishing stories.
Probably.
Who knows if you might go fishing one day.
If we ever go to a party Brendan, I'll buy a beer.
Sounds good, I'll buy you one back.
Oh wow, look at that.
So that's a beautiful gesture.
Typically for us, because we don't have to pay for these beers.
You're just great. And both those guys end up not really out of pocket
because they're beer exchange.
They trade between the vibes of their.
Yeah.
This is what I like most about this isn't it?
You get to know your enemy.
And you know, you'll find you've got more in common
than difference.
Out of interest, I mean, at risk of introducing fish back into it,
which fish was Josh able to identify to
Brendan's satisfaction.
Couldn't tell you I zoned out.
Yeah, and that's the worry, isn't it?
Yeah, that's what we're doing.
For the non-fisher, but we don't want to go back into that.
The Hamish Nandy podcast will return next week.
Catch up or contribute at hamishanandie.com.