Hamish & Andy - Hamish & Andy 2023 Ep 230

Episode Date: September 20, 2023

1. Darcy under the microscope…again 2. Driveway is in use 24/7 & respecting the orange bollards 3. Bec in the bath - too rude for instagram 4. Power moves 5. Floor napping in domestic terminals 6. Mike's rat test 

A list-nuff production. Activate your internet. Because the Hamish and the podcast starts in three, two. Sorry, still buffering. One. A Hoi Timi Nano, Hamish. Ah, I hope our iPod is to be honest. A Hoi Timi shuffle.

Yes! And iPods. And I'll be a mini. Probably the least popular of the mini. I would say so. Yeah, you're rare for you to put yourself in that rank. Just the way the Crookie Grumble today. I can hardly remember what they all had. I think they just got to be team-en,

he didn't their tour yet. Yeah, it did. But let me take you a wonder back there. The first generation NANO had a capacity of one, two, or four gigabits, like it later on. Which was enough, which was enough? You know what? I was a big fan of the NANO. That was the tiny one that was almost like you just clip onto your shirt.

That wasn't it. Like it was the tiny one that was almost like you just clip onto you shirt, wasn't it? Like it was the size of a badge. Yeah, yeah. Because I only listened to about four albums on repeat. It was jagged little perfect. It was just perfect. It just, let's have fun re-master. Just the same old stuff when you just, you know, just, just same soundtrack.

And that's not dissimilar to a lot of people. Like my wife is very good at playlists and she needs new music all the time. I'm just, I'm set with my four. Yes. Jacko, the shuffle you launched in 2005, Sally, a capacity of just 512 megabytes. Ooh, and didn't have a screen either. No, you never did the nano.

I don't think the nano did, or did the nano have a screen, no. And maybe I'm thinking of the iPad shuffle as the tiny little one You clipped onto your shirt. I think that might have been shuffle. Yeah, that was my favorite shuffle forced you to shuffle Didn't you you couldn't you couldn't listen to an album even if you wanted to I think you were forced shuffle really? Do you reckon I think so because that would be like a forced maybe like an I and I I pod like a podcast by it It's forced two times speed I think that's because if you never screen you couldn't go and select the album you want to so it's just like put your song time

But we'll choose the order for you. That is true. I think it was the yeah, it was the lucky dip Well the mini I replaced you have I replaced the nano And it was the most popular And it was the most popular. And it was the most popular. Oh, here we go. That's the way the good old cookie crumbles. We weren't actually the Microsoft Zoo. After all, my dad had the zoo.

Yeah, he loved the zoo. Well, you didn't love the zoo, you loved that it wasn't an iPod. Well, you had mini discs as well. I remember when we first hung out, I was like, oh my gosh. 2000. You were saying 2001 or 2002. I remember when we first hung out, I was like, oh my gosh, I need to have that. 2000, what was that? 2001? Yeah, or 2002. That's when, because when the first iPod came out,

the very first one was like 10 gig, or maybe it was one gig, but it was huge, and it was like a thousand bucks. Was that brick? The brick one would go, You were gonna lose that much 10 gig. Yeah, because Ryan, no, sorry, I think it was one gig. I think it was one gig,

because Ryan, our mate Ryan had one. He bought one, I was like $1,200. Yeah, that Ryan, no, sorry, I think it was one gig. I think it was one gig because Ryan, our mate Ryan had one. He bought one. I was like $1,200. Yeah, that's wild. That seven pin fire wire, like huge fire wire, like undersea, the kind of cables they used to run, like internet from Australia to New Zealand. It was massive cable. And it always couldn't believe the capacity of this thing that it could do that. And I was still, because I worked my casual weekend job

as a Sony store. I incorrectly, as it turns out, was constantly highlighting what a mini disc was a superior format. A whole new MP3. A whole new MP3. A whole new MP3. A whole new MP3. A whole new MP3.

A whole new MP3. A whole new MP3. A whole new MP3. A whole new MP3. A whole new MP3. A whole new MP3. who use the very easy to use system at habishniady.com to upload from North Sydney what she's been up to. Hi boys it's Jess here just on a lunchtime walk around North Sydney, just walk past Leonard Park and the Harlebridge and I've passed the bow of the original HMA Sydney. Good to know that the bow is actually the fun of the boat and not back. I'm not a fan of the boat, I'm not a fan. Yes, a little bit. Everyone does know that. At Darcy, our sound engineer here who nipped out,

he's the last person to use the scissors, and nipped out. In the middle of the night. Just before the podcast was published, he gently lifted out the part where he was corrected. We incorrectly, despite his shame, he was obviously very shamed because he was a rollover at school and he was not able to correctly label the ends of the boat, confused by the fact that some participants in the sport are rolling a facing one way and going backwards

and others are facing the other way. He's brain got scrambled, forgot where the bow was and he just decided to keep that information from the public. And keeping the shipping analogy is going, he nipped it out in the dead of the night, but it set off a beacon for me that he doesn't like being a part of the podcast. Yes, and Andy, Andy at Harbor Control, something with what's this unauthorized access on the dogs. Who's Danny? And hence, I've got a new segment,

which I'm bringing back out again today. Yes. Yes. You're the microscope right now. It's a powerful microscope. We're all going to be under a microscope. You know what? I think maybe it's time you put... D' D' D' D' D' D' in. Now, hey, you weren't privy to this.

Couple of weeks ago, we had Darsie under the microscope. We recorded it. And in the post-show meeting, I know. He talked to Darsie again. I don't think it's too long and for balance, we should I think it's too long and for balance, we should... Oh my god! I'm just not getting that up for a critical response to the show. How is his comeback? How is his episode? Because, Dowsie, don't you know, mate, where there's smoke, there's fire,

and when there's wriggling, you've got Andy's attention. It's the wriggling that excites him. If you want to leave your loan, play dead. Don't. wriggling the big, big sides. If you wanted to leave your lone play dead. Keep your wriggle out of his grip. He knows you're alive. Incredible. And at the end of the meeting, it somehow was on the bench, wasn't it? It wasn't included. Dacia the

Microsoft was taken out of the shows. We wiggled it out. Only upon reflection during the week, executive producer Carly said, no, I think Dacia be better in for balance. And so it has seen. We very rarely, just if you were getting the insight into the show, as we record the episodes, you know, just more so for viewer of listener enjoyment that we don't blow out and dish you up just, you know, an indigestible hour, 20 minute episode. We'd like to keep them at a certain length. Very, very rarely are we way too long and something will sit on what's known as the bench. The problem with the benches,

if a segment sits out on the bench, like there wasn't room for it in a show, it seems like the bench is made from quite a smelly wood. If you sit on the bench for too long, you get a stink about you and you just go gee, that's been on the bench for a while. And those the bench, eventually we just asked the bench bits to go and sit somewhere and it stinks less. In the bench. So it does sort of know in this and quickly tried to put his segment on the smelly bench. And things moved down the bench further until the years done and then they got.

There's been at the end of the bench and at the end of the year we left up one end of the bench and everything slides into the bin. But no, Darcy under the mic goes back and I got the moment your fiance is still working with me on the 100th TV show and so she gives me tidbits and I sit there and go, oh, okay, I might put that in my book. Because I haven't, I've had mates reach out to me after this segment aired and then have been sending Jane bits and pieces

about me that she'll go onto the microphone. That I think just feels. I'll under the, they're just bullying. Really? It does seem like it's Australia's hardest subject. So the dossier bill, they didn't know this, Jane. This is going to be tough for you now knowing that you're engaged to and living with the mole. There's no safe space for you anymore.

That's true. Darcy, let's just talk quickly though for this week's Darsie over the microscope. You've got two pets? Yes, yes. So we got Olli, which we, as we said last time, Adriel Gold retriever and Pat the cat, a small kitten. They both like being fed pretty early in the morning. Yeah, yes, they do. What time do they like breakfast time? Five, five, thirty. Isn't that crazy? Yeah, would you say? Sorry, just if you can hear a slight whirring, guys, that's the Microsoft zooming in. Any focusing as we get closer to what the charges are? The allegation is that you never feed them

breakfast. That's true. And it's luckily that it's happened today because I did get up and feed them this morning. Really? Yes, I did. You pretend, I heard that you pretend to be asleep. I don't pretend. I don't pretend I'm a pretender. It's even when we're chasing.

How do you do, by the way, yelling? Jane and I, we say, I think I have early on set, narcolepsy. And it kicks in about 5 a.m. When a cat wants food. It's a pretty convenient time, technical epilepsy. And it kicks in about 5 a.m. when a cat wants food. It's a pretty convenient time, but yes. So you're unwaikable at 5.30. It just doesn't bother me. Like the cat will jump up on the bed and pour Jane's face. It doesn't really pour my face. Because she knows that you're getting up. And I can just ignore them.

I don't know how you guys go with your pets, went wanting breakfast in the morning, but I just, you can just ignore it. Yeah, well, we're going to do states when we're ready. She didn't get to the dog that she didn't get to dictate times, but I'm sorry. We don't have a cat anymore, so pretty quiet on that front.

We'll be more of a haunting at this day. I remember we got the cat, they're pretty much the day that me and Albert died. And I said, should I show him? I miss the photos and they're like, no. No. No. No.

So I'm one of them. He's a last bit. There was an argument. Was there over you not eating, and not feeding the animals? Oh. And I heard that in the argument, you said, well, I don't know how much to feed it.

So I can... Oh, yes, learn how to... Yes, that's right. The same reason I didn't make popcorn at Hoyt is no one ever taught me to make popcorn. So I never had to serve the popcorn. This is a classic one in our family. When, like in the 80s or something, like the mid 80s, before the mid 80s, there used to be a petrol station, they would serve you, right? They would come out and they'll pump your petrol.

Then self-serve petrol became a thing, and for a while, you could go to both. Like, it used to be advertised in the late 80s, oh, self-serve. I remember we used to look at it in the car. My grandma, when self-serve came in, drove the car up to the local petrol station one evening to get petrol, I probably on the cheapest other week, drove the car up and some went on her foot and she drove back home, said, well, I'm not doing that again, it went on my foot. The next 40 years, like Brad Brad, I had to go and fill up her car. It pays, it pays, it pays, unfortunately. Unfortunately, there's incentive in it. What, what I find out.

I get so much stuff at home because I didn't do well on the first, and I'm telling you about it. I haven't done, I don't do the school lunches. I'm essentially banned because I was like, I want to make sure they're getting done well. Yep. And, and I just slink him to the background. Yeah. At least, you know, when Zoe's away and then I do them and then she leaves me very strict instructions.

Just a handful of lunch money. And then I send pictures of the kids lunchboxes full to the brim of marshmallows. Darsi, thank you for going on to the Microsoft again. I promised you for last time I'll do it. Okay, so we'll pack this microscope up like the ones you get going on to the Microsoft again. I promised you for the last time I'll do it. Okay, so we'll pack this microscope up like the ones you get for Christmas from DixMeth. Never used to be.

And we've discussed for many years. It's come up before that I don't respect a ballad. That's a policy. The orange ballad, sometimes people put them out to buzz car spaces on busy roads, and I will move a ballad. Let's say let's just really clarify this, portable ballads.

Because they're not big, large, large, large ones. The plastic, I respect those ballads. The plastic orange wobbly one can easily lift up, with the kind of the octagon base. Extended, which is that, essentially? How's this? The other night I was in a mate's house for dinner, his parents were there. And he was telling me about how when he takes his boat, he's tinny out, fishing. Near where you put it in the boat ramp, he goes, I go, what are the witch's hats for? So I've noticed him in the driver, he goes, I put the witch's hats in the car park. If I see a good car park,

I'll buzz them. Then I put the tinny in the water. Then I go back to the car park with the trailer and stuff. So he's like, I want to make sure I've got the park before I back it in because he's trying to do it one man. Yeah, okay. So if you put the boat in the water, then you drive off and you can't get a park. This is just, if I said,

oh, risky, anyone move me, because he didn't move, which is that. So I said, I definitely move, which is that. And then he's, my mom pives up and goes, I move, which is that because they don't move, which is that. So I said, I definitely move, which is that. These mum pubs up and goes, I move, which is that, I don't care about which is that. And I said, right. And then out of interest, I said, would you move a ballad?

I wouldn't move a ballad. Oh, okay. So her line is between which is that and ballad. It's a height-based thing or a weight-based thing. From what I gathered from interrogating this a little while, she can move a ballad easily. Very vibrant woman. But has more respect.

Just has too much respect for the ballad and no respect for a witch's hat. The guy comes from ancient times when we didn't like witches. Guy up the road from me, just in Richmond, two white buckets. He puts out, as he leaves every day. That's a big thing. That's so interesting. No respect for that. And I also went on to say, I don't respect black and yellow tape.

Of course, police tape, sure. But you're not, you're not scaring me with black and yellow tape. They're not moving that every day of the week. Yeah. What it comes to you, is it's these are, I realize there's another thing that comes in this category that I often smirk out and I wanted to bring up with you. How, where do you sit on the driveway,

no parking driveway in use 24-7? Cause I always look at those, those sounds are inherently flawed because, Driveway, no, driveway, you know, so it's like a garage door or something. It's like no use. Like, you know, this driveway is no parking across us. This driveway is in use 24-7. And you always look at you go, well, you're not because there's no one there now.

So I don't believe any of you so. Because 24-7 means constant. And I'm standing here looking at the garage door and drive away. That's not being used. Yeah, that's a... See, full of shit. It's a scarecrow. It's a human scarecrow. And that's what these things are, which has had to scare crows. It's meant to scare you off. The ballads are scarecrow. Yeah. In use 24-7, is a bit of a scarecrow.

Yes. Now, I actually think a better sign would be no parking, drive-way and use every 15 minutes. Yeah. Because then you go, oh, okay, I must be here in the lull, but they're going to use it in a second. I don't. Yeah. That I would believe more. But I feel like you would still run the gauntlet on that home and go, I would care.

I would care. I would care. I've got 15 minutes. I can't, I've been there just 15 minutes. I've got 14 and half here, and Rick and they just used it. Guys, there's some accents in life, where your partner doesn't, and it's fine, but if you had done the exact same thing, you'd be sentenced for life in prison, no parole. Most of them. Most accidents. Yes.

In my house. So something happened about four weeks ago, five weeks ago, and enough time has passed on how to talk about this. Did you do it or did you back to it? This is why it's so brilliant. Right. Beck launched a new razor brand,er brand called Louis, right? And I've made a little video for Instagram to say how proud I was.

And in the video, there was a picture of her in the bar on a computer, like a video. Okay. And I had put two rude over the rude bits, and it as like a bit of text title. Yep. Over which, I mean, does it matter which rude bits or? There was no... Oh, I'm just asking. There's no bother. Half, right?

I'm not trying to paint a big. I'm just saying it might come into play. I'm about to hit, you know, post. Mm-hmm. And I'm like, I should just check where the Bix worried about. I mean, I think I saw this video too. It was like a montage. You could also just take it out, right?

I could. I could. But I said, hey, Beck, I had this in the video. You count all with that. I filmed you in the bath. I'm going to show it to Australia. How do you feel? And she was like, oh, yeah, okay.

And I said, tell you what, you can decide. You either take it out or you put the two-rood exactly how you'd like it. Keep it all delivered. And then you press post, just so I'm fine. Right. She says, all right, she adjusts the bit of two-rood, make it a bit bigger.

Hits post. And as she's watching it back, for some reason there's a glitch on Instagram, and the two-rood has moved so far away, and it's post-opress. Dale. I hear the biggest squeal. Like, I said, what's happened? She goes, there's been a glitch, there's been a glitch, and I said, delete, delete, delete, delete, delete, delete.

So, he's keep it or delete it. So, she deletes it. Do you see before she deleted how many people had seen it? Well, it's like one second, like it was like literally, you know how when you post something, it's like a bird's got a copy of it though. You know, it's like a bird's got a copy. So, he's my predicament, right?

So, I go, no, I'm gonna say it. Yeah, back's business partner's there and she said, I'll look back. Now, you got it down so quickly, it was like instantaneously, right? Yeah. Although it is launch week, I mean. Then we want to make a bit flash.

Anything for buzz. I then, and this is the part I haven't told back. I'm like, back, this is fine. Let me ask you this. Wouldn't the video have worked without the footage of her in the bar? Sure. Fine. Yeah, yeah. Could have taken it out. Yeah. Then during the week, like about eight days later, made it mind-tom, you know, goes,

did you post a bit of a whoopsie? I didn't. What do you mean? My fingers are clean. Because what do you mean? Said, did you post a bit of a whoopsie on Instagram? I was like, no, what do you talk about? Like, because I'm still playing the whole, it goes, like, maybe you didn't have the

two-rood banner perfectly across where the root bits. It's like, I use a word. Because I was a picture of back to topless and you'd written two-rood on the wall. What was on the wall? Yeah. And I was like, are you saw that, did you?

He's like, yeah, yeah, yeah. My partner, Mel, saw it. And she alerted me to it, I was like, oh, that's good. Good for her. And that's when I went into my direct messages. And there are a bunch of people saying, how you might want to not, or take that down immediately.

Yeah, because even if it's 10 seconds, people, if you're scrolling at that time, you're gonna see it. Yeah. So, he's my question to avoid. Have seen the nipple freed. And you guys, you released it Andy. Yeah, well, I didn't.

So yeah, first, he's the headline gosh, I'm so happy that I'm past that over to Beck. Of course. And she was in shock. I mean, because if they ever have thought to do that, like, I mean, doesn't that tell you that there's a shoot? That's just an orange flag anyway. If you're going, I'm making you hold the gun. So I'm not the criminal. And if someone gets shot, unfortunately,

you are holding the gun. It's like, that's just, I always feel in those moments, you're like, well, this is the one where we go. Something, if there's something so worrying about this, we could just, but I've never heard of anyone handing it over to go, you press the button. I don't want to go down the mystery of the guy that dropped the bombs. You do it. But it was legitimately just for some reason the title shifted. Like we watched it as it was draft,

for some reason the title shifted. So it was a glitch that caused it. Second, you just quickly... I'm going, so it was a glitch that caused it. The second you just quickly linked it. You're forgetting. Here's my other question. Since Tom said, did you do a whoopsy, I went into direct messages, which I don't normally look at, and there is some people who fans. Whoopsy fans.

Whoopsy hunters. There was maybe seven or eight people that had reached out. All quite complimentary is the wrong word. No, all quite helpful saying, hey, you might want to double check that. Something's happened. Do I tell Beck? Because at the moment, we're still working through a worst move at least out. You know, she's got to wear it that's got free. I think what you're doing right now is a better option to put it on the podcast. So she then it's up to her. You go, well, if you support Mike, I did a nice video for your career. You support Mike here at Listen to me talking about how I posted your boobs. Then you take this down later. So people are hearing this, they'll know that Beck hasn't complained.

down later. So people are hearing this they'll know that Beck hasn't complained. It's not. To do advice from the master. Hey, we haven't done these for a while and they've been piling up so let's get into them. A wonderful thing before we do. A lot of people have been taking advantage of Hawkes as God-mad and taking advantage of a mad, man-adition of Power of Moves Volume 2. Hey, missionary.com, if you want to get it for a, well, a crazy price.

It's price to clear, Andy. It's priced. It's approaching cost. It's well and truly. At Ben, wrote in to us and said he's taking cost. It's well and truly. Ben wrote into us and said he's taken advantage, he's loving the book. He also wrote a song to... Did he really?

Yeah, I think it's been a crush of conscience for him, the fact that he's been taking advantage of Mad Man at such a low price. Yeah, yeah. And he wanted to put it to music. Do I feel guilty? Do I feel bad? They said took advantage of a man who's gone completely mad.

What a great deal. Couldn't say no. I've learned so many great savings tips from listening to your show. Free popcorn from hoids. Ghost out of tarpacks. Trading sushi for autographs. I love saving money as much as I can. Didn't mean to take advantage of a madman.

And being called a cheapskake was a part of my plan. Call me common man. I'm so common man. I'm common man. Oh, good. He's a bad man. I really like, really like, common man, be mad man. Great build too, like, new Jack, you're very good at writing music. Music, that structure is...

Yeah, but it's an existing song, so he didn't make this song. Is that an existing song? I'm not going to give it. He's not a teller, so it's an existing song so he didn't make this song. Is that an existing song? I'm not gonna give it. Is that a Taylor Swift song? Because I was like, he's got talent here. This is a really good build. Yeah, she's probably one of the best songwriters in the world. Yeah, I know who she is, Jack, I just haven't heard all the songs.

But I can't even self-jack a good power move. Do you explain who Taylor Swift is to someone? Hey, pal move, this one came from Simon. Sorry, because I was about to go, look, do you think it's J post-level? So you could have stayed there and gone, look, I think a song like that, he's up to my level.

Yes, yeah. Musically. Hey, I'm kicking yourself. What's the song? What's the Taylor Swift? I think it's, I'm just a sort of a tired of basically saying, if I was a man, I'd get there faster. Okay.

Yeah. I think it's called the man. Well, musically, there's a reason it got me. Not often you album either, been re-enfor-all. Like I said, I don't listen to every single one of the songs, but I'm well aware of who she is as an artist, a successful person, whatever it is. The again, again, not that's not my priority each day. But even like just hearing it in a shop

or something playing on the radio. Do a lot of online shopping. Ah! Ah! Ah! And only of listening to the listener app in my car. Ah! Ah!

Ah! Ah! Which I know has music available, but I don't listen to those stations. Fair enough. From Simon Ham, definitely an asshole move for real. They are. This is the definitive list of moves you can use in social situations to give yourselves the upper hand. Sometimes they're harmless. This one certainly isn't.

He said, power move, teaches at school assembly power moves. So it's specific for teachers. It's a very specific situation. If one of your teaching colleges had to change their name after a divorce, in group settings, keep referring to them as their married name, and then pretend to catch yourself and say, months. LAUGHTER

MUSIC Battle Helper? Yes, that's again. Well, appreciate it. Hey, Hal. Hey, Hal, move. Um, another naming based one, and oh. It comes from Dave, oh, hey, Dave. He said, I work at a large, well-known sporting organisation in Australia.

Recently, we had to have some internal promotions amongst current staff. Good bit of background, because I know, it must be nice. So a lot of people have got job bumps. Said, I have found it both to be very funny and humbling to refer to them as the former role from which they'd been promoted. For example, I refer to our new general manager as the former regional manager.

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Really, what should make it like annually, formally, of take 40 Australia or whatever like. Yes, when I was pressing buttons for Colin Jackie on the back of the day. Hey, Mrs. Tom, killing back.

Do you see that? Power move. Simply text a friend, hey mate, are you free tonight? When they reply, reply, yeah, want to catch up. That's right. No thanks. I'd enjoy your night off. No thanks.

That's all I want. Now I move from back to heating. I said, often on the phone, you have to spell out a word for someone. Instead of using the typical phonetic alphabet, i.e. A for alpha, B for bravo, C for cell, et cetera. Use the silent alphabet. So that's k-finiting, g for known, P for psychology, et cetera.

LAUGHTER MUSIC Jack, are you tired of now that you do breakfast ready? I'm not. I was just saying, literally, over lunch, I was saying, Andy, I'm tired all the time. And I do nap if I can every day. Okay, so have you napt in your car?

Yep, I did. Today, all of a sudden, today, before coming into the podcast. I mean, I take, I think when, like, I take, because sometimes you get woken up throughout the night with your kids, I'll take a nap. I've pulled over with the kids in the car and gone, I just need the 10 minute app. I've never done that pre-kids, a genuine 10 minute power nap.

And well, though, I'm, I pads on, risk having that. That's that, okay. They do, yeah. And I, because I get a thing where I get hit by a wall of fatigue and if I just jump on it, I just got a surf of for 10 minutes and then I come back roaring. But if I miss the wave, I get hit by a wall of fatigue and if I just jump on it, I just got a surf for 10 minutes and then I come back roaring. But if I miss the wave,

I don't get on the wave. Like I'm in the toilet sometimes. Yes, the window. You need the window if the window's upon you. Get there. I've always appreciated that working with you, and for 20 years we've always respected a window. Yeah.

I'm the only one who's supposed to be and you have got a window and I'll say, go, do whatever you need. And I'll hold your body's on. Your body's on and your body knows what to do. Because if you neglect the window, force it shut. So many people I think in the workplace are forced to do.

You get a very confused body. And your body sometimes won't give you another window. Sometimes for another day. Well, you can, I don't know if you still believe this, Hamish, but used to tell me that if you leave a poo undone, that it goes toxic and to make you sick. It can't be reabsorbed. Yeah, yes it is.

I'm not sure if that's entirely true. And you start to sweat a thin vignette. Oh no, no, no. But yeah, if you have a window, I would happily do four more minutes of small talk with Kesha while she we were. Oh, we never, I never left an interview to do a poo. Just the start of it she might have arrived early. Yeah. Well yeah that's true. I mean I don't even know that any of those but just on the day to day grind. Yeah you know you can

always take a window. The reason I ask about napping is where do you go stand on this? The floor nap at the airport. No. Okay. Like lying on the floor for a nap, I understand things and get pretty desperate the airport. I saw a floor nap the other day in domestic. No, no, no, no, no. But they can't have gone with this. You are not waiting for, you flight will be in an hour.

It can't be really more than an hour or two. You don't need to floor nap at domestic. Was I two in the afternoon? Yeah, no, you can't floor nap. It's the same rules apply. You can't fly and you can't wash two in the afternoon. Yeah, now you can't floor nap. It's the same rules apply. You can't fly and you can't wash yourself in the things. And you can't at the airport. Yeah, the two.

I just think there are different international terminal and domestic rules. Yeah. If it was two a.m. in Dubai, and you saw someone floornapping, you're like, fair said, they might have been there for 12 hours already. Yeah, and they've just got a horrible layover.

But it two o'clock in the afternoon, it's Sydney domestic airport. Like, why did you? You flew in from Aubrey and you're waiting to go to Adelaide and 50 minutes just seems, seems, yeah, unapproachable. Like even if you desperately need to nap, find a wall.

Well, yeah. That's where you do slouch in it. And slouch, the full night feels like it's more than 10 minutes. The full night is given up. You don't care about dignity at all. And I've been in it. He's sending an alarm, generally, for a full night. I agree with him.

You're so desperate. You're on some crazy layover, somewhere in the middle of the night, in the middle of the world. And you're just like, I don't care what people think of me anymore, I just gotta get some sleep. I've never seen more floor napping than Ibiza Airport.

Yep, yep, oh yeah. That's yes. And I got, we were going back early. So it's a borderline medical evacuation, a lot of the time flying out of Ibiza. We're going back early, Jack, and so we got there extremely early, and there would be 80 people for law mapping. And I spoke to one of those who said someone who released a chloroform member who was crazy.

And I spoke to someone who said, what's going on here? And they said, most of us won't book accommodation. They fly from party in West London. They fly from England. won't book a accommodation. So I'll fly over from party in Spidey, England, and nightclub party like through the night twice, and then go back to the airport. And then go to the floor that life feel like they should have

pamper floors there. At least they should be crash mats. Yeah, at least the playground floors. Yeah, this fungary play equipment floors. Yeah. Because you know they're getting on a Ryanair flight to and it's just going to cram. They don't have a Mr. Jeffries, do they? Yes, Mr. Ralph. He's the Ralph. By the way, great news. He passed back. Quick update on Jack's and annual legal airfare hookup. Just quickly, have we been talking about Mr. on air or I think we've mentioned him.

Have we never mentioned him? I don't think so, but this is the answer. Mr Ralph, tell me if this is our understanding. As I was trying to explain Mr Ralph to Zoe the other night, where someone in Bianca's family has a family connection to Mr Ralph. So to you, he's your like wife's cousins, you know, husband or something.

Absolutely no relation to me and I've never met him. Okay, I find business class because of him. Yeah, there's some hook up somewhere in the family could Mr Ralph either work for United or American or something like he was high up and he has the lifetime 10% deal. Where whatever he wants to like whatever% deal. Whatever he wants to,

like whatever he wants, whatever airfares he wants. Sufferings in family, yeah. It's even better than that. I don't know what he wants. He gets a free, you just pay taxes or something. Ex-pilot or something, he gets a ridiculous deal on the flights. And you're so loosely linked to him.

It's like Jack then Kevin Bacon. Yeah, so far away. But somehow through the family, you can get to Mr. Ralph, but he only has a certain quote on it, doesn't he? And so the family, there's a bit of politicking each year to make sure you're in on the quote. Yeah, that's right.

You can't overuse, like you can't, at the start, we thought Mr. Ralph was an unlimited tap, but he's not. And then you would, I was telling my brother, my mom, like everybody get on the Mr. Ralph and then the tap turned off. He's having healthy shoes.

Yes, I'm worried. He's in his 80s, so then he said, you know what, I'm too sick to deal with the free flights. So he did turn off the tap. And we thought, he stopped contacting me as we said. I'm going to 300 emails a day. So then we sadly mourned the loss of him.

Even though he was still alive, he turned off the tap for the fly. Did you? Did you get a memorial service for the free tickets? Just. But I'm still here, not really. Last week, my wife rang me, I'd never heard her so excited. Guess what, guess what, Mr. Ralph is back in business.

He is risen. He is risen. Oh, look, look. That tick's miss. Tick's miss. Oh, look, look. Oh, that's Tixmas. Tixmas. Oh, praise the bro. Amazing. Yeah, okay.

Well, it would have been floor naps for you, a plenty Jack, but great to hear that Mr. Ralph is back here. Back up the point, I think. Yeah, he's a real fighter. Yeah. So, I mean, we need to touch on quickly, I mean, we have a last week. And look, it is to do with a rat test, not rapid antigen, just rat the ranks test. People that had last episode would be aware that was, you know, Mike was on podcast Mike

and the reason where it's like he hasn't done to do this is because the rats away at the moment. Yeah. But as the saying goes, the cats will play. I thought I'd say ghost at all. That's true. Actually, we're not scared of the rat. But the rats away, so he can't defend himself.

Yeah. And the cats will certainly have a group meeting in the rats absence. We can't promise a law of positive news for the rat. But that's nature too. and the cats will certainly have a group meeting in the rats absence. We can't promise a law of be positive news for the rat. But that's nature too, that you can't be a rat hoping that if you see three cats having a meeting, that they're going to be just going to see you favorably. They traditionally aren't a fan of you. So there's a bit of a theory flying around. I can't remember who brought it up or whatever, but it's caught fire, but Mike could be a rat.

Possibly bring the show down from the inside whilst appearing to be a good friend of ours and a positive contributor to the show. All the best spies do that. It would be too obvious if he was throwing obvious haymakers. So the listeners, you know, people have caught on and people are sending in lots of, you know, quite interesting evidence from different episodes about where some rat-like behaviour might have occurred. Again, with often no evidence, but that's just the way we like it.

Only circumsadential. One thing that caught a lot of people's attention was last week, Mike came in to defend himself on different rat charges, but was talking when he got the neutrons electrons protons definition wrong. He came to Apologiser, he did his apology song and he mentioned in that interaction that coming up with the things we do at the start of the show that you read down under the us having three titles, us being three things that are connected somehow, he mentioned that that was a very, very difficult part

of his day. If you aren't familiar with the audio, this is what he said last episode. Well, can I say, and you know, probably agree, these are the hardest parts about making these shows. Not so much, the hardest part. The hardest thing about the edition of the Hollywood God.

I'm skeeze guy I'm skis I'm a toboggan. You're a snowball. In the outt people use in the snow. That's not hard. No, but now to 20 more. 20 more times. I have to get my rank to be fair. 20 more times a week.

After the crank, 20 more times. We'll rank for you. We'll rank for you. We'll rank for you. We'll rank for you. We'll rank your things out. We'll rank your things out. We'll rank your things out. We'll rank your things out. We'll rank your things out. We'll rank your things out.

We'll rank your things out. We'll rank your things out. We'll rank your things out. We'll rank your things out. We'll rank your things out. We'll rank your things out. We'll rank your things out. We'll rank your things out.

We'll rank your things out. We'll rank your things out. We'll rank your things out. We'll rank your things out. We'll rank your things out. We'll rank your things out. We'll rank your things out. We'll rank your things out. We'll rank your things out. We'll rank your an hour. Yes. I could crank out 20, I'm confident in 20 minutes. Anyway, if he had to produce that abnormal amount of, as he sort of, like, he's sort of

portraying his like that sweatshop level of work, he's only going to do that twice a year because we do only do 40 episodes a year. So you'll notice in that audio, he tried to get some support from me. Hey, he said he said, and I think Andy will agree and I think I'm agree. Quick inspection of quick inspection of Andy, shake of that. Quick shake of that. I won't agree that that's the hardest part of the show at all. But anyway, a lot of people, the reason it rolled up the list is because people do send them in.

People have an idea and they go, oh, I got a funny idea and I'll send them in. So they'll either dn Andy or they'll just send them through the gothamshanny.com. Yeah, and I'll pick them to Mike. I'll pick him to Mike and Carly and go, hey, Mike, can you add this to the list? This is a good one that's been sent in all the time.

I'm not even gonna give you the complete list here, but if there's supposed hardest part, this impossible work order to fulfill for Mike, who's acting like he's the only person at the Tesla factory in Elon's God, or we promise shareholders, we're doing 100,000 cars this year. And he's having gone,

mum, mum, me, Mr. Elon, too many cars to promise. I'm but one man. Right? That's no one's going, yeah, this is a very, very fast list. A mean cells in the body sent in by Flynn, Apple store employees sent him by Brenton, Jesus apostles by Alan underground miners. That was from Harry Ultimate, Frisbee, Andrew people in birthing room. That was

from Emma, banana farmers was from Jethro Dragonboat racing for Bobby firefighters, Sam, members of an ambulance, Caitlin parts of a tooth Sandra, him's worth brothers, Lily, lacrosse players, don't get operating theater stuff, at least not. That's not even the difficult people list. Okay. It goes on and on and on. These are all the people writing and going, hey, all the ones who have used, which is, we, we contribute these. So if Mike's can't try to claim this as the highest part of his job, that is squeaky behavior. Yes. Very squeaky with a long tail. Right. behaviour. Yes. Very squeaky with a long tail. Right. So what's he really doing with his daily? Why is he so keen for us to think this is the hardest part of his job? Because what's it covering? Yeah. Interesting. As we'd like to just get no conclusions, it's just a big

question to end on. Anyway, I'm sorry it's not a rat thanks for listening the Hamish Nandy podcast will return next week catch up or contribute at hamishanandie.com