Hamish & Andy - Hamish & Andy 2023 Ep 237
Episode Date: November 8, 20231. Croc wars - The journey so far 2. We finally get a hold of Tony 3. A Spectacular croc tour with Wes 4. Discussing the plaques 5. Peace talks with Tony and Wes  ...
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A list-snap production.
Crocs!
Crocs!
Rare, historic animals capable of leaping from the water to eat a raw chicken off a stick
to the delight of tourists in a nearby boat.
Apart from the chicken, a situation in which everyone wins.
Or so you'd think. These displays have been the lifeblood of two of the Northern Territories' proudest businesses for decades.
Spectacular crock jumping tours and original crock jumping tours.
However, sadly, the small business waters between the businesses have historically been anything but calm.
Years of hygiene and tricks, some verging from cheeky to dirty have created a rift between
these two dions of the airborne clock tourism game.
A rift many thought could never be repaired. But not the Hamish and Andy podcast.
Refusing to take the several good opportunities
to let this story arc Peter out,
the boys now venture to Darwin
to achieve what many believe impossible are truce.
Can Hamish and Andy do it?
Can they bring peace in the North?
And then if time permits and only if time permits.
Gone a two-hour jet ski tour
and have a big night out at the Caz.
We'll find out soon.
But first, let's catch you all up and go back in time to May 2023.
When on a routine and yearly trip to Darwin, some afternoon entertainment was required.
We decided to go on a crocodile jumping tour.
We get dirt bikes and you jump over a crocodile.
No, no, no, you're in a boat.
That's the trick.
That's the trick.
That's the trick.
That's the trick.
That's the trick.
The naming of the two tours and their origins was intriguing.
There were two tours to choose from.
The company called the original crop jumping tour.
OK.
That's what I wanted to call a chicken.
I want more original.
Croc jumping tourin' Tor.
Or its direct competitor, spectacular.
Croc jumping tour.
If you were opening a one of a kind tour,
you would never think to call it original first.
Yes.
Without competition.
And you could never call it original if you were second to mother.
Because you're not.
Yes.
And it was fun to imagine some decades old feud
at two ends of a bridge over the Aralade River.
If it's war, it's war.
We're going to call ourselves the original
crock jumping tour as brackets.
It will also happen to be spectators.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Or to go extra to, like, to remove your hands
completely of any wrongdoing.
You just include quotes from customers
that all include the words spectacular.
That's the best.
The most spectacular thing I've ever seen.
Boy, boy, now this is spectacular.
I've never seen anything so spectacular.
But the boy is soon discovered
that reality would deliver them
just the river rivalry they were after.
I got an anonymous tip, the Kevin Marshal of the fence,
which says, look, I work in the church
in the tourism game.
And they are big rivals, these two companies.
Yeah. We've got a trade show each year
and they have to separate them
so there's no beef at the trade show.
It's a wrong read, but it's not like,
like, it's not a dictatorship
where you're going to go and like,
someone's going to get shot
for crossing the line.
Like, it's not going to happen like that.
In saying that, there definitely would be a,
like, you don't come on my turf, I don't go on your turf,
there's an understanding. It's like the DNZ.
You're not crossing the line.
And the bomb tells from Bill, getting in there.
The original fun fact is not actually the original.
Oh, hang on a sec, this is much.
Hang on a sec, and so is spectacular the original?
spectacular is the original.
Then what is going on with the original?
How are the original calling themselves the original?
Your guess would be as good as mine.
Information started to come in from informants left, right, and center,
and some clarification was offered.
There was two going at it, Frontier and Adelaide River.
Frontier went out of business.
So Adelaide River have called themselves original,
but they've only slapped original on their name
when...
It's spectacular, Camel.
But they're still more original than spectacular.
I think so.
That's...
Yeah, that is fun.
But... And also, that's obviously not as catchy a slogan.
No, yeah.
More original than the other guy.
They're not V-original, but they're more original.
Now you get into shades of originality that is interesting.
But the clock was got even more interesting
with information from a source deep within the NT government.
Back in the day, things got so bad between the operators, we had to officially step in and
mediate. The bridge is in fact now an official no-mansland and neither shall pass onto
other side. The person who said that there is a big rub between the operators wasn't exaggerating.
Back in the old territory days, there were lots of shenanigans going on between.
And if this show loves anything, it's shenanigans.
Sources have reported to me that in around the COVID times,
there were some ported dealings in shenanigans with signs.
Oh, so the defacing of signs or the defacing of signs are they jiggly.
The pods inside a kip also got some intel of incursions into each others' territory.
Original what they said to me was they're happy where they are, but they do go north from
time to time.
Spectacular only went up north from what I could see.
Do you get the feeling from Spectacular that when original does go north of the bridge,
that's kicking the horn, it's nest a bit, and spectacula doesn't like that.
That's the feeling on the water hand.
Yeah.
In any investigation, misinformation soaks doubt,
and insecurities can start to rise.
But anonymous emails help steady the boat.
P.S.
Don't give up on the crock thing you're closer than you think. LAUGHTER
Just, it's out there and it's similar.
Yes.
And people are thinking about it.
And the more the boys thought about it,
the more they knew what they had to do.
Wouldn't it be an incredible feather in the hat
of the Hamish Nandisho?
If we could travel to the territory and negotiate a peace deal.
Bring peace to the region, Ian.
Bring peace to the territory.
That's our best shot at a Nobel Peace Prize.
Like bringing down the Berlin Wall, do we bring down the Brit?
I know, you need that.
You can feel the Briton being dead.
It's one of the main stuff.
Anyway, you've had the last thing we've got to say is,
make a bridge forever be down.
What are you doing? That ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha and then the town celebrates and we all party into the night. It's like, it's North Korea, isn't it?
It's very North South Korea that you meet,
or Berlin, really.
I've got a pretty big view guys in Viziki.
Basically the bridge from Old War movies
between East and West Berlin, right?
It's like a very well used highway.
Like a road bridge.
It's a road bridge.
Cars, we're in the middle of it. Cars are skater road bridge. It's a broken bridge. Cars.
We're in the middle of it.
Cars are going at 130.
I'm right.
It's a freeway.
It's quite a...
I still like it, Jack.
I still like the idea that maybe we meet under the bridge.
We do that.
I'm very hatched, I'm with the cross-leap.
Let's put the cross-leap.
And so a peace mission was decided upon.
Flight swabooked, sunset jet ski tours were arranged.
The whole team was down in bound on the first weekend in November until...
Press release from the original Adelaide River Queen jumping crock cruises.
The original.
The original for sure.
Yep.
The original. The original. The original for sure. Yep.
The original.
It is the original jumping crocodile cruises will close on the 31st of October 2023 after
38 years of operation on the Adelaide River.
Unbelievable.
We're still going or we just take your holiday?
Well I mean we've booked it and we've got so when we were looking at, like, we're, again,
like, it's really the first forced Peter out.
Usually we're in a second.
It is, it is.
So I can charge you about Peter out.
We're, for the first time ever,
we're the opposite of a Peter out.
We're, we're the ones clinging on.
Yes.
And someone else has opened the door and Peter's left.
And clinging on, they did.
They found any excuse to go.
But it doesn't necessarily mean that we can create peace between the two businesses.
There'd be a nice way to go.
Oh, one doesn't exist.
Yeah. It does seem like an easy piece deal.
Just, just as he's taking his cardboard box for the stuff to his car.
Anthony, do you agree to peace?
Yeah, mate, whatever. See ya.
Well, we got it. We got it.
We got peace.
Ha ha ha.
Sure mate, I have a hundred of them.
You beauty.
We did it.
We did it.
I'm off.
But nothing would stand in the way
of these brave warriors of peace.
And we've had to think about it.
And we're still gonna go up.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Jack wants the two of us. Jack wants the two. Yeah. Jack wanted the two of us.
Jack wanted the two of us.
And so we don't know.
Will we try to...
I can't even be out of Croba.
Some kind of peace talk, and claim a triumph.
Probably.
So their mission was clear.
Heating the north, peacing the north.
He-he-he, peacing the north.
And no one could tell them otherwise.
We got accused on email of boarding fourth lipis for the want of a fun trip to Darwin. Now that
could not be what? Yeah, because of the jet ski tours. Yeah, that could not be further from
That could not be further from Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
He's me with a wife and two kids
Wife and two kids are like, oh, let me you know
I'm just gonna go to Darwin
Just because we're standing in the casino
You know?
That's gross
That's gross
No, you're not the only one crying
I'm crying too Because that's a really helpful thing to say.
Oh boy.
No, please teach.
Rip those things to you as a force.
No, I got that.
Do this for small business peace.
You can't get it.
It's just being trivial anyway. And not her.
More of a need than ever, there is.
More of a need than ever for this.
And so our heroes set forth on their journey north.
We will not rest until a piece is bought on Saturday afternoon.
At the end, we will not rest because it was day that I could see.
But then we will rest and then we'll go home.
LAUGHTER
You! You for peace! But then we will rest and then we'll go home.
You for peace!
We join our worries of peace now at the Howard Springs Tavan outside Darling, where they're chatting to the locals as they wait for their parmer and chips.
Hey, it's hot.
It's hot.
We're here.
The Howard Springs in the Houghty.
I've always just called it the Houghty.
We're sitting with Renee.
Renee, how are you going?
I'm marvelous.
I'm marvelous.
Yes.
No one of the bartenders here, Renee.
Have you heard of spectacular jumping croc tour?
I have.
I have.
It's one of the good ones.
What about the original jumping croc tour?
Yes.
One of the better ones as well.
OK, great.
They've been feuding for many, many years.
They have.
Do you know whether it's eat?
Yes, they're all feuds.
Well, I mean, we heard about the feud.
Obviously, we're just lowly East Coasters,
but we heard about the feud, and we've
been following it all year.
Wow.
Now, Renee, we've come here to negotiate a piece
between original and spectacular. Oh wow, this is interesting. Do you think that's
achievable? I think if anybody can do it, you guys can. Yeah, thank you. Do you feel
like the territories behind us as we try? I feel like 100%. I live under a rock and
I'm sure everybody else knows what you're doing, about 100%. If you can make these guys sort that.
Yeah, you should have him sort of get.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That'd be great.
Well, as soon as I walked in,
the Jack who works behind the bar,
he looked me and said, you hear for peace.
And I said, yeah, that's exactly what we're doing mate.
So, Renee, we wanted to get a territory
and a member of this fine establishment.
We wanted to get their blessing as we head out,
because our next stop, we're heading out to the river.
Well, you're gonna need it.
You're gonna need my blessings.
Yeah, you're gonna need my blessings.
Have you heard of the, what have you heard about the feud?
No, I just heard it, nobody can get along.
Yeah, right.
And then it's devolved into possibly dirty tricks.
And the thing is, that is fertile ground for peace, isn't it?
I think so. We're now in, can get along.
I mean, you would have seen a few scuffles here at the bar over the years.
Uh, every Wednesday night.
Wow, Wednesday night.
Five nights.
Wednesday night, Tiddy night.
Oh.
It brings out the best in everyone.
Gotcha.
All the worst.
Gotcha.
Well T, well that's a good news plan B.
I think it's we're not trying to solve this thing and get a piece of your dollar to Wednesday.
Yeah, you don't want to do it.
Keep it to a Saturday.
As they say at the UN, pointless trying to negotiate peace on Titi Noth.
It worked your first day lunchtime, whatever it was, it cooled down.
Alright, thank you.
We had some bad news earlier in the week.
In fact, I think we're going to play that if we're ever ready.
Yeah. So we're heading out to negotiate peace between Wes and Tony. And we hadn't spoken to Tony
from original. We heard earlier in the week, a couple of days ago, Tony wanted to talk and we
jumped into the studio and had a chat to Tony. Have a listen to this for now.
An emergency jump back into the studio today, guys. Lovely to see you both.
Yeah, you too. Good to see you. This one said, guys. Lovely to see you both.
Yeah, you too.
Good to see you, this wine set.
Yeah.
People will be hearing this, knowing that we're already in Darwin.
Yeah.
But a vital piece of the puzzle is not going to be there.
And we thought, let's capture this moment,
because I never thought that this was going to play out like a true crime podcast,
but it's saying to have those pieces, isn't it? We have to like have the phone calls
and the bits of evidence and the pieces of the journey.
What?
This is the bit where we've just found out that as we are about to head
in a couple of days to Darwin to visits the owners of spectacular
crock jumping tours, that's where's an original crock jumping tours.
That's tiny to negotiate peace between the businesses businesses. Tony's not going to be there. Now this is our, this is our, we've,
had this weekend blocked out. We're very excited about this weekend, as has been previously
discussed, excited for the notion of peace. Turns out that he's on the sunshine coast
his way. Yeah. But can we do something still? I mean, if COVID taught us anything, you don't
actually have to be in the physical location. We're still, we're going to be there, we'll be in
Darwin. And I think we've still got to commend for WES to join us in neutral territory between
the two businesses. I'm not sure if WES knows that Tony's not going to be there in person.
Don't tell WES because we need WES to show up. We're going to look like absolute idiots if we
Don't tell wears because we need wears to show up. We're going to look like absolute idiots if we are that we fly all the way up from the
eastern coast.
We're the only two guys standing out there in a field and jacks holding a laptop or something
and no one's there.
Well, we've had further contact with Tony.
He's happy to take a call from us.
That's what we've raised back in the studio.
Let's give him a buzz now and find the label and this is the owner of original.
What are we trying to get out of him?
Just a commitment
would he like to zoom in or face time? Is he open to peace? Yeah, and that's it. Is he
open to peace? Would he virtually? Tony Loems. Tony. It's Hamish Daddy here. Yes,
Hamish Daddy. Get a Tony. What an honor to speak to you, sir. Well, I would say it's a
real honor. A lot of people would think it's a down market.
Not us mate.
For us, Tony.
We've dedicated a lot of time to this.
We've found out that you're not going to be there on what we know.
Okay, so, Tony, we are heading up.
We're going to be in Darwin on Saturday to hold a piece summit, a small business
piece summit of which you would have been an hour, a 50% of the esteemed guests at the
piece summit between original crock jumping and spectacular crock jumping. Given that you
can't be there, can we just ask you this? If you had have been in town, would you have been open to attending the Peace Summit?
I wish you guys had a talk to me way back in the early days because
it was spectacular. Well, it's spectacular.
We'd love to file this whole journey, but we on the table on the 80s, Tony. Our parents would have found it weird. It's two four-year-olds charged off up north with
some recording here.
Tony, tell me the truth. Is it a publicity stunt or are you actually closing it down?
We don't do publicity stunts.
Okay.
All right, so really, okay, so the situation has got untenable for you there on the river
and you're closing it down.
And we read your press release,
you make a lot of great points for safety reasons
and that's why you have been forced into this position.
Can we take you back a bit, Tony,
to the days when spectacular and original were,
there was some shenanigans between the companies.
We heard, we can't remember who did what to whom,
but we did hear that someone used to drive a sign down
and put it over the other person's sign.
Oh, I did more than that.
What was your best shenanigan, Tony?
Can you tell us now that you've closed down?
What was your best shenanigan?
Well, it wasn't a shenanigan, it was self-defense.
Oh, basically, yeah, they put up a song,
we put up a song to counter it, you know,
and they just went on until the corner of Anzac.
Every year was pretty much all songs.
They put a song, you put a song in front of that,
they put a song in front of that,
and you put another song in.
I heard a rumor that you put a song up their driveway
that said, wrong way, turn back.
There he is. Yeah, that was that was the frontier days. Yeah, good. We had a sign more in the
frontier days too because they were right next door. Okay. It's kind of the the wrong way
you go back was it was very effective. Wrong way.
I love that. If you've got any other tales for us. Yeah, what else other tales for us. What did they do to you? What was the dirtiest
trick they did to you? The problem, I guess, was the fact that we could see very early on
that it wasn't going to work.
As I had the bridge, I think I had it at that one day, there was 13 cruisers went up.
And made you can only feed crocodiles so often.
Yeah.
Now if a crocodile didn't jump, he didn't have a product.
Yeah, exactly.
So they're eating four pigs, they don't need to jump.
Yeah, exactly. It just doesn't work.
You know, and it's kind of, if you've never seen it before, you can sort of say,
Oh, yeah, well, that was really good.
But, you know, crocodile might slip a meter or so out of the water.
Oh, yeah, they've got a good photo of that.
But, you know, in this day and age like this this last year there's there was five or six
miles competing for space on the river you know and and once these caught we could get these six
meter crocodile once jumped almost as high as the top deck of the boat. Wow. I think you know and I mean that's pretty spectacular.
The other car is now complete. Complete miss you.
Was there ever a situation where one company was like feeding the crocs too much so they wouldn't jump for the other company. Well, the behaviour was that there was only one boat that they had that could get under the bridge.
And then from time to time, they would come under the bridge and they would make a nuisance of
themselves. Yeah. And what, why? Just feed the crocs. Well, it's not just feed the crocs. It's actually shadowing our vessels
and getting in front of them, you know, seeing a crock out in the distance and getting in front of
them. Oh, crock hogs. Well, are you familiar with whes over at Spectacular, Tony? Yeah, I know,
we're seeing. Okay. Well, here would be the other participant in this piece summit that we're holding.
Would you be willing, I know you're going to be on the Sunshine Coast, but would you be
willing to zoom in, like virtually join us perhaps via Zoom or FaceTime to sit down, look where's in the eye and just go,
it's been a wild ride,
but I officially come here in the name of peace
and you give each other one compliment
and we all shake hands and peace is struck in the North.
Mm.
It, I guess, I don't know.
I'd probably like to think that one through a little bit.
All right. Yeah, you can take that on through a little bit. All right.
Yeah, you can take that on notice and have a think about it.
And then hopefully, on Saturday, at around about 3.30, we hear you log in.
And I mean, if you'd like Tony to make it even feel like you're there, we could get a mannequin
and replace the head with a computer.
So it's just your head and we could dress the mannequin like you dress.
What kind of outfit do you normally wear?
I'm a dreadful dresser.
Okay.
Would that help?
No, not really.
We still might do that.
I mean, just for the respectable.
It would look great.
Yeah. We do that. We're going their spectacle. That's for their spectacle. That's for their spectacle.
That's for their spectacle.
That's for their spectacle.
That's for their spectacle.
That's for their spectacle.
That's for their spectacle.
That's for their spectacle.
That's for their spectacle.
That's for their spectacle.
That's for their spectacle.
That's for their spectacle.
That's for their spectacle.
That's for their spectacle.
That's for their spectacle.
That's for their spectacle.
That's for their spectacle.
That's for their spectacle.
That's for their spectacle.
That's for their spectacle.
That's for their spectacle.
That's for their spectacle. That's for their spectacle. That's for their spectacle. That's for their spectacle. That's for their spectacle. That's for their spectacle. That's for their spectacle.
That's for their spectacle. That's for their spectacle. That's for their spectacle. That's for their spectacle. That's for their spectacle. That's for their spectacle. That's for their spectacle. That's for their spectacle. That's for their spectacle.
That's for their spectacle. That's for their spectacle. That's for their spectacle. That's for their spectacle. That's for their spectacle. That's for their spectacle. That's for their spectacle. That's for their spectacle. That's for their spectacle. That's for their spectacle. to close the chapter to this great territory story.
Leave it hanging with me till Friday. Yeah, can I say, it's not a no.
You might join us on Saturday.
Yeah, I might.
Yeah, I think that's probably the best way to do it.
And I'll make a decision to what I'm gonna do
probably Friday night.
So that is still, you know, it
doesn't, it gives you enough time to give it a, to give it a, give the story a decent burial.
We'll be there. We'll be there in the dry scrub land. On Saturday afternoon, we'll hopefully still have weas will wait for your call. Obviously we can't force
your attendance but you know we're to find us at 3.30 on Saturday afternoon.
Yeah well that's that's probably the best word. Love it. Peace is always a positive step.
Thanks so much mate for taking our call. We will wait with Bated Breath to see what happens on the weekend.
But take care yourself mate.
OK.
All right.
Good on your turn.
Bye.
Take care. Bye.
Peace in the North.
Oh.
I thought it was going to be more of a yes.
Yes, I.
LAUGHTER
I'll be honest with you.
Are you all right?
Thought it was a formality to be honest.
I'm excited.
So Tony, the owner of Original,
had made a lukewarm, sort of,
definitely maybe commitment
to join the boys on Zoom at 3.30 Saturday
for peace talks with Waze.
I don't know. I'd probably like to think that one through a little bit.
And he really liked the idea of the mannequin dressed like him with an iPad for a face.
Surely it was all pointing to him turning up on Zoom.
Yeah, I might.
Well, that's good enough for this podcast.
So it was time to hit the dirt roads
out to spectacular crock jumping tours
to try and lock in ways.
All right, Ando, we have just pulled down
the three kilometer corrugated dirt track
to your liking, not great,
to get here to spectacular
crock jumping tours. Yes, Jack keeps asking, can we stay to
Wednesday? I don't know why. Jack, why, what's happening Wednesday
night at the pub? Why did you book a flight back for Wednesday
morning and ask if you could do your radiation for me on Thursday?
I don't know. What's Ch what's, what's Chippy night?
You keep telling us.
Oh, I know what you're saying.
I know what you're saying.
I actually don't know what happens on Wednesday night.
Oh, I heard.
Wait, you don't have to do your rehearsals to us.
Just say it for the first time to Bianca
and just say it as if you believe it.
Jack, well, you weren't there when we heard from Renee,
but I'm from the schoolboy giggling up the front,
like guessing what it's about.
I mean, it was one of the great lines.
But anyway, here we are.
Here we're here, it's Saturday, so tops are on.
We're here for, unfortunately, for tops on Saturday.
Although, I mean, tops are on,
but sleeves are never on in the territory.
We look like an absolute couple.
We look like a carload of idiots
for walking around in t-shirts instead of singlets. However, we are not playing favourites here,
but we want to experience tour and of course original has shut down.
So the inconvenient timing of our piece to up. We want to confirm
the business is here and that he'll come to the peace treaty meeting.
Yeah, now here's another update. We haven't heard from Tony. He said,
he said, try to think about it. I'll think about it. He said, he'll tell us Friday night.
He hasn't. He said, he's still thinking about it. We're trying to meet the 330 timeline.
All right. So here we are. We're at Spektak. I can't believe we've talked about this place all year.
Spektak, you know, Croc jumping to us. We're in the car park. We're about to go in.
We're about to see a croc jump out of the water for a chicken on a stick. Get fired up. Get fired up about the concept.
I mean, that's the business side of things. And here, where's a side of the story?
Where's face to face. Like a lot is about to happen. We're going to here, where's a side of the story.
Reconfer, reconfer, reconfer that it's 3.30 at the... You got the parks, boy. Yep, I got the parks.
3.30. That is when the peace talks are on.
We've been to the pub.
We've met Renee.
Let's go meet Wes.
Let's see a croc jump.
Yeah, great.
Reku, how are you feeling, Jack?
What do you need?
This is going to sound a bit weak,
but when the road out here was really bumpy,
I've actually hurt my neck.
What?
What?
What?
What?
What?
What? What? What? What? What? We are made with trying to win a peace prize.
We just do not hear many peace convoys go, I'm sorry,
in North Korea. I'm not going to be able to make it.
I stopped my toe. I'm just finding it hard to look as far left as I can right.
So which side of the person would you like to ask to?
Which side of the boat do you need to be on there?
You just keep a look out on my left side for crocs, I guess, because I can't.
No, no, no.
So they don't come at you.
You don't have to protect yourself.
So why don't you just sit facing out
and we'll ask you if the crocodile's could leap up
on the side of the boat you're on?
Yeah, well, if I need to see, I can see him on any side
just by turning my whole body, but I can't move my neck
as freely as I usually do.
Sorry, I thought it just, I thought it would.
Is he, is he, is he, is he, is he, is he, is he, is he,
is he, is he, is he, is he, is he,'s good to get some taxi to get us to come back on Wednesday.
I know the real test, bring him back on Wednesday and put them to his left.
Oh, see the next better.
It's whipping all over the place now, first.
All right, let's go see.
All right, you brave souls, let's go. Oh, now wound in warriors of peace.
Jumped on board a spectacular boat
and headed out onto the Adelaide River
where they were joined by the CEO of Spectacular.
Well, where's...
Where's Spectacular the day for it?
Oh, is it a good day Adelaide River?
Mate, Spectacular.
It feels wild to be here after so much thinking about this day.
We're finally on the river.
We're on board spectacular crock jumping doers, not because we're playing favourites, just
because you're open.
You're open.
First thing we have to do is we say we saw the bridge.
Now we obviously viad straight away from the bridge.
We went north.
That's a good thing. Ab away from the bridge. We went north.
That's a good thing.
Abiding by the rules.
Absolutely.
When did the bridge rule come in?
Long before I took over with Spectacular.
So I've been here for five years.
And what do you think bought on the bridge rule?
I've heard lots of different stories.
And when I took over here, I've got email chains that go back many, many years.
Give us your best. The crocodile, crocodile.
Oh, thank you, Jack.
It's all right.
It's all right.
It's out to Jack's right.
That's how he saw it.
Local territory and jack posts.
Always on the look out.
Good spot, Jacko.
No, as far as I'm aware, there was a previous manager here
between the previous owners of Spectacular
and a Ricky Aboriginal Corporation taking it over.
There was a great deal of fighting between the two of them and it resulted in all sorts of silliness.
Give us the top three sillianced incidents.
Well, as far as I'm aware, that particular altercation wound up with original coming down below the bridge about 15 minutes before each tour.
So basically fill up the crocodiles,
this end of the river with food before our boats went out.
Full crock won't jump.
Well, basically there's no point if you've already had a fed,
why would you go and do some more work?
Yeah, that's a good sneaky trick.
So that apparently went on for a while
and that resulted in all sorts of fights
and bits and pieces.
Jack, is that the crocodile you called?
Yeah, I'm a little bit...
No, it's a goanna.
It's a baby, right?
Well, in some respects, harder to point out, Jack,
so that would be not as exciting.
How old is that crocodile with?
I genuinely think it could be, I'd say...
10 minutes?
Maybe under three or four years? What are you reckonin' with, you? Yeah, two to three, 10 minutes. No. Maybe under three or four years.
What did you reckon, Wookie?
Two to three at most.
Yeah, really.
OK, so sorry.
We were...
God, it gives it some realism, though,
doesn't it?
Having a chat with the crowd?
We had it randomly turned up.
We heard from a bloke at the pub
was that said there was a side swipe
from one boat to another at one point.
Did that ever happen?
I'm not aware of it.
He thought it was like in the 90s.
Well, it could well be.
I personally worked for Tony down at the original.
Really?
You jumped ship?
Well, literally.
Twenty years ago.
Twenty-six years ago.
Okay.
Were you part of the Shenaticeticans at a Ritual?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I was loyal to a paycheck.
Boys, that's a smart guy.
Good men.
You've conducted operations on both sides.
I did for a little while.
I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I wanted a poaching. Well, we get it. What did you do? So, it's things like move.
We had it used to have a huge road sign
on the back of a vehicle,
and it was really silly,
but we used to have to go down and park it at our front gate.
It would drive the three or four Ks down the road every day
and park it at our front gate.
I think it's a spectacular side.
I can expect a spectacular side gate.
So you cover their sign.
Yeah, great.
Because we noticed out on the highway now coming in,
there's still a sign
from original saying, hey, as you head down here to spectacular, there's a sign that goes,
if you're looking for original turn around and go another three kilometers. That's a bug bear
of mine. That's how when you are coming into a live situation that needs peace when you've got
competing signs, steering each other away from each other's businesses. The sign, the sign thing has always been a constant fight between the two of them.
At one stage, one of the operators here, I think, had 16 road signs in a 2-kilometer space.
Okay.
It seems to me you know how they talk about like, I look, Russia and America might not go
to war, but there will be a cyber war.
Yeah, right.
It seems like a cyber war.
This is a cyber war.
This seems like a sign arms race.
It seems like the main weapon is science and science.
It is like Crocs isn't it?
Very territorial.
I'll give him for credit for some of the things he's done in the past.
How is your relationship with him now?
It's not bad. I get on all right with him.
I don't have to duck the next time I see him.
Well, we hope that could be this afternoon,
whereas because we're here, we're on the river.
We've come to make peace.
Even though he's not in business currently,
we still think peace is a worthy pursuit.
Oh, absolutely.
Thank you, guys.
I think he's talking to his world.
He does, that's it, but we said yes.
So it's not just a trip, so we can come up here and see
crocodiles and ride jet skis this day at the casino.
It's a real peace trip.
And we want it to happen this afternoon
in about, well, about half an hour's time.
All right.
We've got our location.
You're willing to be there, Wiz?
Absolutely.
Tony says he's thinking about it. That'll be interesting.
I've got five different plaques that will celebrate
the various outcomes depending on whether or not Tony was there.
But I needed you there, whereas we needed you there.
Because we can't have a piece deal without any
you signing parties there.
Let's do it.
Let's do it.
Let's do it.
All right.
Well, we'll finish the tour.
We'll hop off and go and get organized.
Fingers crossed, Tony shows up. Let it be known. We can still do a piece tour with one side,
and you do agree? Absolutely. And can I just say it's spectacular
at here? It is spectacular at here. I'll recommend it highly enough.
It's a very original tour. Well, that is debatable.
Alright, thanks for seeing you at the piece tour.
Alright, look forward to the 3.30pm peace summit,
which was to be attended by WES from Spectacular.
Absolutely.
And maybe by Tony from original.
Yeah, I might.
So in the shadow of the disputed territory bridge,
we join our intrepid peace mission from the car park of the
recently closed original crock jumping tours. Where's the original? Yeah.
You do this? Yeah. We can see we can see the boarded up original crock jumping
tours in the background. Where's was happy to come to original
turf? He's happy to play it away game, which was nice of him. Yeah, especially
because the guy who's playing a home game isn't here.
That is rare, isn't it?
Rare for the home team to take all the day.
For the big match.
However, we push on with negotiations.
Andy, 15 minutes we've got, by the way.
Yeah, 15 minutes.
And then we either know with it.
We're meant to call him in 15 minutes.
Yeah, the pick's up, he doesn't.
Yeah, peace or not?
I can't believe it. Just take a moment for a second to think about how long this has been.
And how many options we had to peter this thing out.
And we didn't take him.
That's really like, that's one victory for the show, isn't it?
Is there a plaque that reflects that?
The plaques are pretty triumphant.
Great. OK, well, here is the thing.
Yeah.
I got us five plaarks that I think cover off most of the permutations that we could face.
I realized they didn't have one that covers off.
We're saying I'm not coming either.
But you know what?
I might actually have that in.
Okay, plaque number one.
If things go really well, we will lay this plaque down in 15 minutes
time. On this site, a business piece was negotiated between spectacular crock jumping tours
and original crock jumping tours by the Hay Missionary Podcast. The piece is valid regardless
of operational status of either company. Date of peace, mid to late 2023. Now I did that,
so in future generations, they don't pin the date on us to go hang on.
Didn't the original close the weekend before?
Yeah, well, it's just keep the dates vague.
That's plaque one.
Keep that on hand.
Yeah. Because that's the one we...
That's the one we hope to lay down.
As we try Tony for the fifth time, he hasn't picked up.
So we can start to probably put that plaque back.
If we can't get Tony on the phone, we then move to this.
On this site, a small business piece was proposed by the Hamish-Nadi podcast and two local
crock jumping operations.
Sadly, due to logistical difficulties, not everyone could be present to achieve a definitive
result, but the feeling on this day was certainly one of these, which counts.
Great.
Data feeling, mid to late 2020. Mark number three. Great. Data feeling made to late 2020.
Mark number three.
This keeps it vague.
On this site, the concept of business piece between Spadek and Glockoach, I mean, it was
an original clock having to us, was discussed and celebrated as a concept, as a facilitator
by the Asian-Aidie podcast.
That's if neither of them rock up and it's also if they turn up and they say,
where's isn't, they're not that keen.
Yeah, or they don't give compliments or something.
They're not willing to follow through
on all the stipulations of the piece.
But we can still say without lying,
it was discussed and celebrated as a concept.
If one calls the other one a c***, that's not it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's what we're reaching for.
Because we'll be facilitating piecesibrating pieces of concept.
And the discussions were facilitated by us.
So that's a good not-life.
I feel like we've got all bases here.
But I still see two more plaques.
Okay.
On this side, plaque number four,
small business piece was rejected by one or more parties involved in the Hamish
Neparkas.
And that's more if we want to go honest.
Okay.
Broke it in the piece in the North Crocs jumping business peace talks.
Data of rejection.
This is actually the only plaque
that covers a flat out loss.
Wow.
Which I just thought of throwing there
as an option.
I'm not, it's I'm not a fan of it
because it paints us like a failure.
Failure, yeah.
But I don't mind the idea of-
What does the-
He's not.
I don't mind the idea of being the world.
I would say only plaque.
The commemorates something that it did have a-
The chief. On this site we invited the prime minister to come and open the building he couldn't make.
I like the idea of a very honest plug. That's good. Yeah.
Final plug is just the best not lying I could think of.
Right. This makes it sound, no matter what the result, this just makes us like a win for us,
boys, regardless.
On this side, the Hamish and Andy podcast
weighed up all available evidence
in the rivalry between original crock jumping
to us and spectacular crock jumping to us.
And we're very happy to triumphantly proclaim.
Peace in the North.
That's perfect.
Don't have triumphed.
Mid to late 2, 3, 3, 3, 3, 3.
So when you dig into it, all we have to do is weigh up the evidence.
And see if we were still happy to triumph and leap a claim,
peace in the North.
And I got a good feeling that we will keep going.
Well, let's just see which one we go with.
Yes.
Well, let's set up a table outside.
We've got a mannequin, yeah?
Yeah, got a mannequin.
We're going to gaffer-tote the iPad to its head.
And I think we've got the best replica we can of Tony's clothes.
So I think Wes might not even tell the difference.
Yeah, he should fall for it.
You guys ready to bring peace to the North?
Yes, he's boys. Peace to our peace to our...
Yes, JetSkey to it is also in two out.
JetSkey soon, then we go check in at the cast.
OK.
And so it was time.
Manic in in place.
Zoom meeting online.
Agents of Peace set the ready.
All the boys needed now.
Was both Tony and Waz to come together
in the name of Peace in the North.
Here we are at the negotiating table.
Waz is not here yet. The Zoom waiting room the negotiating table. Where's he's not here yet?
The zoom-weighting room is where it ready.
We've just set everything up.
We've got a giant crox skull on the table.
I think a perfectly portioned mannequin for Tony
with a shirt that he would normally wear.
And I've had Gaffa tape to the head of the mannequins.
Where's his arriving?
Yes.
That would have been the all-time stitch-up if he just told us to our face that he was going
to come and then didn't turn up. We have the plaque for it though. We do have the plaque.
We have the plaque for it. What have we got? Jack, you've got the plaques.
I've got all five plaques and from here we've got a great view of the actual bridge as well,
which is the dividing point between the two. You can understand why now we wouldn't do a meeting on it.
It's like a thorough journey. You can't. You've been no make no sense for this table and these chairs set up
to be in the middle of the bridge. Nor does it make sense for you to be strapping C-4 to it right now
to blow it up. I don't know. Having been here and seen the people use it to get from one side of
the river to the other, I don't think we should blow it up. One of those bridges.
Jack has positioned himself on a folding chair so
he can look directly at the bridge without having to turn to his left. Still nursing.
That's slight neck injury. He's getting better though. That's good.
That's good. It comes with. It comes with.
Thank you, mate. Welcome. Thank you for coming to the talks.
We have two minutes from when we said we'd try and connect Tony if he decides to connect.
Where's just quickly? Does that look a lot like Tony?
Yeah, if you squint hard enough, yeah, that's pretty fun.
Yeah, it's a shirt like that.
Okay, we've set up a zoom.
Oh, he's sitting locked.
Oh my gosh.
Oh, there we are.
Tony, can you hear us?
I certainly can.
Oh my gosh.
Tony, can you see us?
Yes.
And you've got where's here? Oh, can you see us? Yes. And you've got Wes here.
Oh you Mr. Blombs?
I've got Wes here too. How are you buddy?
Good I never wears.
This is beautiful. This is lovely.
Just quickly Tony, how are you feeling? How are the emotions?
Oh look, I guess I've got to say I'm bored hell as hell.
Just waiting for you to turn up.
Well, we first want to recognise both of you, gentlemen,
the great spirit and the good will which you've shown coming together to sit here at these two plastic outdoor tables covered by an official cloth.
We followed the dramas, our listeners
have followed the dramas, and the stories,
the stories of decades of shenanigans.
But today, I think there's a wonderful mood in the air
as we put that all to bed, Andy.
Yes.
We thought for ease, gentlemen, we're
going to read out something, kind of like a marriage.
And all you have to do is say, I do and and I do. So Hamish, you've got the
details there. Are you ready to read that out? So what do you wear? Do you agree that all small
business shenanigans between spectacular and original up to and especially including sign-based warfare are officially in the past.
Absolutely.
We have one.
I have one.
Tony.
Tony.
Do you agree that all small business-based shenanigans
between spectacular at original up to
and especially including sign-based warfare
are officially in the past?
Well, yeah, they are.
Just the way they are, it's fine.
That's the tour we did, yes, sir.
Okay, we got two yeses.
Now, the final bit of the piece process
is the passing of a compliment
from one to the other.
Wes, we'll start with you.
Do you have a compliment for Tony?
You look fantastic, Tony.
That's great.
That's nice.
Tony.
Do you have a compliment for where?
Where's is the best operator on the north side of the bridge
and on the best operator on the south side.
I reckon that's pretty beautiful.
Thank you, Tony. Since the pledge has been agreed to
and the compliments have been exchanged. One last thing to do,
Hamish, would you remove Tony's arm
so where's can shake it?
Yeah.
Can do.
Sorry about this, Tony.
I think you'll...
You may drop him if you go that way, do I?
There we go.
Perfect.
Oh!
Tony, would you mind just mimicking hand shaking
just so it looks like you are as well?
Just reach out and put your arms right in.
Lovely.
Okay.
By the power invested in us as peace envoys, we now declare peace in the North!
Peace in the North!
Hazah!
Hazah!
Peace in the North!
You don't expect Tony to be triumphantly raising his arm up.
But...
But...
John, you're a legend.
Oh!
So with peace, very much intact. John, you're a legend! Oh!
So with peace, very much intact and the mannequin, less so, all that remained was to lay a plaque commemorating
the heroic efforts of our peace force in the North.
What plaque did you choose?
We were able to do the best case scenario,
what were we doing?
This is the best of the best.
Park, we have now sunk into the dirt outside.
The location was on this side.
A business piece was negotiated between spectacular
crock jumping tours and original crock jumping tours.
By the Hamish and Andy podcast, this piece is valid
regardless of operational status of either company,
date of peace, mid to late.
22 weeks.
Congratulations, Phil.
What a guy, I'm really proud of the date.
Peace in the North. Well done. I'm really proud of him. Well, it's a guy. a guy, I'm really proud of Pate. Peace in the North.
Well done.
Really proud of us.
Well done, Jacko. You did it wounded.
Yeah.
See you.
Where am I?
Yeah, Nick.
See you, Jacko.
Just quickly for you, Jacko.
As peace discussions were unfolding,
we were just quickly scanning all five plaques
like which ones are going to be here.
Yeah, yeah.
Because at the end you handed me the perfect bar.
Yes.
So well done.
Thank you for making me feel like I had a valid role
because for a lot of that I sat there and it's true.
I wasn't doing anything.
So thank you for making me feel included.
Let me be really proud about this.
We've been called...
Clark's election was very critical.
And but on that, we all had a very valid role.
Yes.
Having said that, he is now a chief.
So I suppose with some time left in the day.
Have we got to... Oh, I do have bitterspeed.
Oh, my gosh, I've got to get out.
Jetsky Tourist, still.
Is that still on?
Oh, great.
LAUGHTER
Three cheers for PC.
Yes, three cheers for PC.
Who's like a great Northern?
Yes, PC. Yes, PC.
LAUGHTER Yes, three keys a piece. He's like a great Northern. Yes, peace. Yes, peace. Ah! Ha!
Ha!
Ha!
Ha!
Ha!
you