Hamish & Andy - Hamish & Andy 2023 Ep 239

Episode Date: November 22, 2023

1. Darcy under the microscope - robot vacuum 2. Upset Andy 3. Must be very nice merchandise infomercial 4. Best phone number 5. Sea-Monkeys dig in 

A list-knife production. Activate your internet. Cos the Hamish and the podcast starts in 3, 2, sorry, still buffering. 1. A hoi to my lion, Hamish. Rawr. Yes, good choice, sir. That's what I'm doing with my son at the moment, actually.

Say lion and then he goes, Rawr. Oh. Well, you've got, consider yourself to have two sons now, then. Because I'm just as good. Ahoi to me, scarecrow, Jack. Well, we haven't got up to scarecrow yet. We wouldn't have a clue what sound it makes.

Dingo dango I think. It plays cool to me anything. Any guesses? Yes, we're always... We're always at the boss. I am the tin man. Or wicked. I haven't seen wicked today up here in Wicked or no.

I haven't seen any either. They do appear at Mike's just winked at me. LAUGHTER LAUGHTER Wicked is thing. The musical. You smartest musical in soccer. Peter in the world. Oh, yeah, they appear, they appear, can't unsee that. Yeah, it's the 10 minutes the oil is crouched as in the middle of it. 10 man, I mean, famously, where's no pants? You never thought about this, but he's nude and so is the lion.

The lion, yes. He's nude too. Oh, yeah, they appear, they appear, can't unsee that. Yeah, it's the 10 minutes the oil is crouched as in the middle of it. Ten man, I mean, famously, where's no pants? You never thought about this, but he's nude, and so is the lion. The lion, yes. He's nude too. The scarecrow, the only one with the decency

to put some clothes on for the trip. LAUGHTER Hoi also to Kathy from London, who uploaded what she's been up to at the Hamishneed.com world on Kathy's. Hi boys, my name's Kathy. I live in London, but I'm originally from York in the north of England. I'm calling in on behalf of my boyfriend, Miles, who's a massive fan of yours, showed me a lot of clips on YouTube from the radio era.

But he's only recently ish discovered, the podcast and is getting through it at a rate of not so to say at least several episodes a day. Last I heard he was on the first episode of 2022 so I thought it'd be quite fun to see how long it takes for him to hear this message. Ahoi males, I love you. Love you boys too. Thanks for keeping him entertained. Tora for now. To our final.

Oh, it was lovely. It did feel like she was coming to pick up Miles from our house while we've been looking after him while because she had a longer shift at work. Thanks for keeping him entertained. I know he can be a bit of a handful, but I hope you had a pleasant afternoon. Hey, I wanted the top of today's show for something that we have done a couple of times.

So far, the person involved doesn't like us doing it. Oh, good. Let's cut into this. Good. You're the microscope right now. A powerful microscope. We're all going to be under a microscope. You know what? I think, I think maybe it's time you put... Darsie.

Under the microscope. You know what, I think maybe it's time you put... Darsie. Under the microscope. I have to check. I mean, Darcy, welcome, first of Hoi. Hoi, Darcy. Hoi, Hoi. You obviously work on the audio production for us. That bit where it says Darcy. Is that from... Is that Mr. Darcy or like Pride and Prejudice?

Is that where that... I'm sorry. ...made this one because it was done in secret. Oh, man. We know if you made this one, you would have pride and prejudice. Is that what that was? The match you made this one because it was done in secret. I think it is. I think it is. If you made this one, you would have edited it out. Yeah, sure. This was my start of this, all of the bitch.

This is what's out of this. You trying to remove yourself, comments about yourself. You're the last gatekeeper. If you're the last person to hear it, you press send to the internet, and then you used to just take yourself out. How'd it go? You like being off the grid, but you're on the grid now The last Darsie under the microscope was because I kept wriggling, but I've stopped wriggling

I thought I thought I'm dead In fact, he said yes, we'll do whatever we need. He's like now I've just you know, I didn't edit Darcy on the market, so I put it to, I think it was like really big about it. We're like, hey, it's okay, mate. You don't have to try and, you know, pretend that you're loving it now, so we don't do this anymore.

We didn't expect you to edit any of the vodka in the podcast. That was the problem. Now, that's it. It feels a bit like something at Middleton from SAS Australia would do, just to be like, you're scared of this, you tried to edit yourself out the only way to face it. You've got to face yourself, you've got to

put yourself right back in the pond, girls. Andy, what have you got? This is the fun part of this because Andy works with Dars' fiance. She feeds him on the hundred. She feeds him information, classified information about Dars' that he then has to face in a public forum to satisfy Aunt Middleton. James being great with this. James being great with this face. What started out with just her venting about you? Yeah.

Then it became a segment she's so now she knows that if she's annoyed with you at all, she comes back. You've started feeding the pets, are you here? Oh, yes. So that was an update on the last, on the one that we did last time, which was that I wouldn't get up in the morning to feed the pets.

Update on that one, the cat now is starting to get up at 3.30 in the morning and demanding breakfast. So if there are any vets out there that know how to make your cat stop getting up so early, I'd like that to be enough. What do you mean get up there? Do they sleep all day? No, not at 3.30 in the morning.

The cat walks up and starts pouring my face, wanting dinner. And then that one's up as well. And the dog's like, oh, this is what we're doing now. OK. Like, do you know? Cat's not like a junior investment banker or something. He's like trying to get in by five o'clock to the boss because the New York markets

is still open. He could put a little finances in the house. That would be a yes. Does yes. Do you have any inclination of why you're here? I did have I did have an idea but it doesn't involve Jane. No, go on a minute. Well, we're just, no, I'm not going to get myself in trouble. Why is it moving? Why is it moving? We can sometimes get people with that trap. I can see any guys getting wild like, oh my God,

could we get a 2-4 here? What have I got? Do you wear a robot vacuum? Oh, yeah. So does Jack. He owns the same one. Right. Yes, so.

So much of a skatejack too. I mean, nearly. Good defense. Yeah, Jeff, we've got him. Yeah, who's in charge of Jeff in the farm in charge of Jeff? You're in charge of Jeff. Yeah, right. There was a big mirror in your head. Yeah. It was like a floor to it. Not a floor to ceiling, Miller, but it was higher than human height. Yes. And it just rested. It didn't have a, it wasn't connected to the wall or anything. It was just resting up against the wall.

Important mirror for Jane to check how she looked. Usually. Yes, these are the houses only full length mirror. Yes, that's very important for a woman. I have figured that out now. Who purchased that mirror? It was Jane. Jane.

Jane purchased that mirror. Yes. Would you say Jeff? Would you say Jeff respects mirrors? Maybe he's your employee. Yeah. Well, he's, he's, he did venture too close to the mirror. Yeah.

Yeah. Respect for a wained for sure. So what happened in the mirror? Well, he, he just charged into it. Doing his job diligently as he does. Do you think there was another, do you do like the canary thing where he thought there was another robot and he went to a duck. There was another room that he was entering into.

Who is this other robot? He played in the other room. I'm the only Jeff around the appell. And the mirror broke, didn't it? I, yeah, it was, it went everywhere. Like a glass shattering into a million pieces. I, it fell on top of Jeff. So definitely it feels like a fight that got way out of hand. Yes. It went Jeff in the mirror. And this is why you guys were out. I assume. I, I was

home. I had it happen. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. The idea of the robot vacuum thing. I thought you were meant to put it on when you left the house and the, the pleasure is just knowing that the house has been clean. But do you sit there watching Jeff go around? Do you just feed up? Enjoying the... Yes, yes, yes. Yeah. And then did Jeff start cleaning up the mess straight away? Or was he...

Conquered. He... He carks it at the slightest of like anything scares Jeff. Quite a tough one. He's like... Shoelaces, bits of rug, they're like a thread coming out anything just to give it to an absolute tailspin. He's immediately on work as a compote.

I've been injured at work. I'm not working for the rest of the day. So he cleaned up the mirror. You? I cleaned up the mirror. Yeah. I'll see. But I didn't.

Yeah. That didn't replace it. No. So you told Jane that she has deals hers. She paid for it so she has to replace it. She says that's how it works. She said that Jeff, which is yours, you admitted that at the top of the, yes, he's destroyed the mirror.

He's destroyed the mirror. You should have to replace it. Yeah, that's true. I, yeah. And this is the beginning of the month. I just thought of my employee. I bought Jeff for the house. It's a house present. And I think what is ultimately has been my undoing is giving Jeff or the robot vacuum a persona of a

human, which has made Jane very, it's very easy to target something that has a name to be post-analysis. Yeah. Whereas, you know, if it was just the robot vacuum, I don't think it would be such an issue, but I reckon you analyzed it. So that's what she's asking you. Would you consider removing your name? So Jane doesn't target you for these days. Maybe.

Maybe. I bet in a situation like this where you've got such a, you know, such a problem. And, you know, who knows how this is going to turn out, but you know something's going to change here. You've got to's such a problem. And you know, who knows how this is gonna turn out, but you know something's gotta change here. You've gotta make the call here, it does. I think you're either gonna have to replace the mirror because you're Jeff's boss. Or Jeff steps down. Or do you do you put Jeff,

do you just say, look, I understand what my employee did. It's unforgivable. Obviously, Jeff's not in a position to pay for the mirror. He doesn't have any money, so he can't reimburse you. I think just definitely lay the blame on Jeff, but then go, he's gonna, we're gonna suck him, or we're gonna send him away, you know, he'll step down for two months, so I'll do a review, suspension, and he can only do bedrooms until he behaves himself. But just so that there's been some discipline reaction. I don't know what is standing down at all. He's such a good boy.

He's such a good boy. So what do you think we solved this one? Ah, it's a good question. I think you know, as a fiance, you guys could probably all agree the easiest thing to do is just by mirror and let's move on. 100%! I only think to do it. probably all agree that easiest thing to do is just buy a mirror and let's move on. A hundred percent. I see the only thing to do.

I can't believe he tried to do it. I didn't realise how important full-length mirrors were to go to the moon. The most. Until they got on. Yeah, yeah. The most. God help you if you say something like, well, why don't you just go in the lounge room and use the window like it's dark outside.

No, no, no. No, no, no. Thanks, guys. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Everything is neat and practical Cause that's the way he likes it But what if it wasn't? Upset Andy! Can I start one? Yeah, go for it. I've actually gone too I've gone as well

Okay, great Does this annoy you Andy? We have lived in, we moved house maybe six or seven months ago Since we have, we have never fixed the letter box. It's on a slight lane and about one in three letters falls out the back of it. Instead of fixing it, I've just put a pop plant underneath it so it catches the letters in the pop.

Smart. That's great work, Jack. Let me ask you this, Jack. Let me ask you this, Jack. Some will get wet. May, name one letter you actually did. You don't do that, man. Getting the mail is the biggest waste of time.

Go to the letter box. Thank you for something that you did from your mom say, I love you so much. Call me mom. Drag it in. Open bin. Open bin. Open bin. Like what?

I like a system. I like a system. What a pointless system. And when people go, no, but we send it registered mail. I was like, congratulations. You've just seen it the worst way you can send something. You've sent it the least effective method. People must know that no one opens the mail and it just sits on the counter and it's

healthy. It's just about covering your mouth. Well, I sent it. Usually now I don't even get it inside. I'll just go past the bins on the way inside and I've actually. Tell you what, Jack, get your wheelie bin and cut a little little little hole in it and just leave that at the front of your property. You should pop it straight in. You will laugh at me for this, but I don't receive an email. It all gets into my parents. So it's my

email butler and my dad, Mark Lee, mail male Butler. He does, he scans everything that comes in and emails it to me. That's so annoying for him. And then you delete it. What? Can we put more useless actions in this chain of irrelevance? Then he puts the scanning and then he sends it to me.

And I shred that, take the shredding, then I recycle that turn it into new paper that I put into the printer to repeat the process again. And here's one, overnight time, after we've had dinner as I and I are heading to the couch to watch whatever we're watching, we'll get the bowl of chocolates, bring me my bowl, we'll be the chef from one of us.

And I often like to have maybe a yoghurt after dinner. Maybe some berries or something in it. Just kind of it's like second dinner, because what about three dinners? I eat whatever the kids don't eat, then we have our dinner, then I have something else. As part of the yogurt, I like to have crushed up almonds on the top.

You can't really buy crushed up almonds. I suppose you buy the slivered ones. Anyway, we've got the whole ones. Crushing up nuts is a pain. Like, I don't even know. I assume what you would do is you would get a bag and a hammer or something and bang them in the crush. I think is that what a, like, I don't even know how to pronounce it. Mortar and pestles. Is that what it is? No, that's for seeds and herbs. Is it? Mortar and pestle. Yeah, right. What about the

one of the great power moves? Which one's the more to which one's the pestle? Two gears. And whatever, whatever someone says, you just say it's the other way around. Yeah. That was one of the good ones. And what about this quick, quick and the blender? Oh, Jack, I don't know what your evening's like, but I don't have time for that. Get the blender out just for some nuts.

No, what I do is I get about 10 nuts, right? I've got the bowl of yogurt. I've got the bowl of yogurt, the berries in them, and I'll just put some nuts. What I do is I get about 10 nuts, right? I've got the bowl of yogurt. I've got the bowl of yogurt, the berries in them, and I'll just put the nut. Why would you get a blend and when you got two perfectly good moles in the back of your mouth? And I'll just crack the nuts one at a time,

and you're a little bit of a sped on them, not too bad. I just crack them, I just let them fall out, crunched up, and it's like, it's actually like, restaurant quality crunching like there. That worries me now. And now every time I am out at a restaurant and something arrives, I'm just gonna pitch a bach,

I'm gonna shift out the bags, it's all the, it's a hundred times faster. I do myself the courtesy of sucking, like, to drawing out the mouth a little. Yes. Just said, do you not drooling into the yoga, but just... Yeah. And every time I'm doing it, I go, I bet you, if Annie and I live together,

he'd have an issue with this. Yeah. Walking into the kitchen and seeing this. So I'm not going to say mine, because I'm already getting too rolled up. So for you a lot of time, Sam, Sam has got something to upset you. Always, Sam. Oh, hi, boys. Gusto to you got something to upset you. Oh, Sam. Oh, boy, boys, gusto to you. gusto to you. gusto to you. That's great. I don't know if we've done that before, but it feels very

man. It's like a fun version of handmaid style, isn't it? Under his eye and gusto to you. gusto to you, Sam. What have you got? I don't know how much you'll'm going to say to you Sam, what have you got? I don't know how much you'll be able to relate to this one Andy, he's trying to use more of a garage operator. You know you put parking permits that you put on the car every year, so it's a park on street, had them before you. Every year instead of taking the old one off and putting the new one on, I'll just go a little bit further up the window and...

It might fit quite on that. It might fit quite on that. At one stage, we'll get to, what percentage of the entire front windscreen are you prepared to take off with the stickers? Not not going to happen, I'll just move a little bit over to the right. It'll affect the vision a little bit, but I can do it. So we can see that. I think by the kind of type of intuition, where you've just got a small slit in to the right. It'll affect the vision a little bit, but I can do that. So we can see that. I think by the time you start to intuition, where you've just got

a small slit in the middle eventually. Like a tank. I hate it. No dramas. Absolutely. I hate it. Sam. We're very hard to get off those permits, mate. I feel you, you feel like it's going to take a whole year to get off. And by the time you get it off, the time for new permits. Thank you, Sam. Thanks, Sam. Thanks Sam. Kirin. Kirin. Kirin. Hi. Hi boys. Here you go. Yeah, good. Very good. Customs to you. Customs to you.

What? What? What? What do you got to say Andy? When the air laws come around, you know, they'll be nice and bring like nice coffee rolls and stuff like that. But when my father-law is about to apply the butter to the ice rolls, instead of like just scraping off like a little bit of butter, following the uniform line of the butter inside the butter tub, he'll just like stab it and get out like a chunk of butter. I hate that. I hate that. And then I definitely know. I don't think the butter's there to be used. I have been known when there's a big cavity chunk out like a crater in the butter.

I've been known to pop it in the microwave just to level. You feel your divot? You feel it? You're a plain kid. You just put some sand in it and play on it. Very, very hot jack. Jack, and please mark down this date. That was Jack's first golf reference

Well, they get into the game Since I have said that I got clubs people have been asking me don't make it a golf podcast now because you were the only one standing on the outside of golf And I said you did no, no, no, that's the last one you'll hear from me. Okay, that's fair I'm lucky. We do bounce around a bit. We're very fishing focus for a while. We're there. Oh, hi, boys. Here we go. Yeah, good mate. You got something to try and upset me. So far, everyone's been smashing it. Okay, so some of the cricket not too far away. Yes. As you quite aware, one of my mates insists that he said self the quicker wicked in his backyard, but when it comes to the stump, he doesn't use the traditional upside down bat

and use the handle. He will then use the face of the bat and create several... To knock a stump in? To knock the stump in. I hate that. I can't say I love that. Yeah. And the only... Can I just ask the grip, this is a very quick and specific question, but the grip at the

top of the bat has that kind of like foreskinned over, so it's tough to get, you know, any contact between... I would suggest over the only reason, but generally there is a little bit of wood there that can be a little bit of purchase, not for something. Okay, there's enough wood on the handle, he just chooses not to. And you just fall back, I think there is a little bit of wood there that can be a little bit of purchase if not for something. Okay, so there's enough wood on the handle, he just chooses not to. And you just fold it back, I think that is. I know that he's a more skid, but... LAUGHTER

Yeah, I hate that. I had to actually probably the worst one. I had a kid do that with a new bat and about under 14. A new bat would be outrageous. I mean, at least do the back-yard cricket bat. It's often like the 10-folder New bat would be outrageous. I mean, at least with the back yard cricket bat, it's often like the 10 fold is bat in the house. Yeah, but still, don't put chunks in the middle of the bat. Um, I'm curious.

I'm gonna put the bat in the microwave. You're gonna put the bat in the microwave. I'm gonna put the bat in the microwave. I'm gonna put the bat in the microwave. I'm gonna put the bat in the microwave. I'm gonna put the bat in the microwave. I'm gonna put the bat in the microwave. I'm gonna put the bat in the microwave.

I'm gonna put the bat in the microwave. I'm gonna put the bat in the microwave. I'm gonna put the bat in the microwave. I'm gonna put the bat in the microwave. I'm gonna put the bat in the microwave. I think is going to upset you, Andy. Here we go. I, when I was back at Easter time, I went on holidays to the beach and when I went, I just took like a reusable shopping bag as my beach bag that I had for the week. Okay. And I liked it enough that I thought it would be a good work bag for me to have like my laptop and my phone and everything. So since then I've had it as my work bag, but I just never cleaned it out after the beach.

So I just take my laptop out every day and brush some sand off in the keyboard. It's not important and I got that like, hey, not too many dramas here, I don't think. I think at the end of the day and there, it's, sand is very big and a lot of the technology is so good now that it's cracks are very, very thin. So it's very rare with a piece of sand get into technology. I think fine, Andy. No, no, no.

I feel on holiday, you know? No, no, no, no, no funny. It just adds sand to your regular life, so you still feel tropical. All right, Esther, I think got one more. Esther, what have you got to upset Andy? Oh, boy. Hello, we have. So this actually happened a while back when I didn't have Spotify premium. So what I would do, I would actually pre-record like, like, YouTube songs and like clips onto my voice memory app on my phone. And essentially when I was like in the car, I could just like play it for free.

Oh, just by voice memory recordings of songs from YouTube. Literally, I had like a bunch of voice memories. That was like in my like app. And it was all like different music and stuff. So then I'll just like ones like Ork's Court and start playing music. I don't think so. We've closed it. It's not...

It's quite clever. I mean, obviously, it's not as high a fidelity as sound that I would appreciate, but I do love the ingenuity ham. Or just taking a voice memo down. You and I like a loophole and we like it. I love a loophole and... like it. I love a loophole And and you know a lot of people would come listen to us on Spotify

And I'm not saying Spotify is the man, but it is always fun to stick it to the man Esther yeah, I think you might have pleased me accidentally know what I've just said so much upset again It might be nice to just finish on a pleasurable note How was that Jack happy with this scorecard for that round? I thought I'd do it. Hey, I'm something we have to clear up, obviously, not long ago. We released. We spent 50% of our time on this show,

Macon's Bills and the other 50% clear in the mouth. Right up. We are, yeah, we mean well. We mean well. We release a new line of merch going very well. Must be nice, T's, bucket hats and hats. It's actually was brought to our attention. We made a big deal about it, we launched it with...

One of the biggest deals we've ever made. We put all this effort into this, like making it sound like it was like to our tension. We made a big deal about it, where we launched it with... One of the biggest deals we've ever made, we put all this effort into this, like making it sound like it was like an Apple launch. Yes, that it was a new 10 character t-shirt with a must be nice being 10 characters long, streamlined, fast. Got what we got carried away. And we got so carried away.

The character count that we... It takes so many things. That was our main selling point, the number of characters on a t-shirt, which you don't see very often. Like, I remember back in the days of working retail very rarely when I go, look at our quick silver teeth, like, look at the characters on that as opposed to Rusty. You get far more characters on the quick silver teeth. I think we were arguing that it was less was better for fast breathing. You're right, I don't know.

Anyway, the merch has arrived. Yep. Many, many people have obviously purchased the Tamsciana. Come, but also noticed. And noticed. Noticed. But it's not must be nice written on the front. It must be very nice.

No, that was the whole point of the new merch shop. Yeah. Because it's a new slogan. New slogan. Look, we have had, I'd say, tens close to a hundred emails about it. Yep. I think Matthew Thompson, he says it best. When he said, I recently put it to when he's sure it's with the iconic must be nice slogan, only to realize that the word very had snuck its way onto the fabric. Now, I'm not one to nitpick, but I distinctly remember your podcast featuring a certain team, let it count as not including spaces must be nice was how it read.

So, imagine my disappointment when I saw the shirt that apparently had a VIP section for the word very. Did the podcast changes name to the very Hamish Nanny podcast? Did I miss the memo? So, or did I miss the memo where you declared the extra adjectives were required for all merchandise? And now it's 14 characters, but look, might we say too? That's four, that's an extra four characters at no cost to the consumer. Not at all, not at all. And look, we thought- That's from us to you. When companies make these kind of mistakes, often they go, well, they obviously have to apologize or state reasons. And the best forum to do that is Morning Television, where no one's watching in the form of an infomercial.

Hello, welcome to the program. Joining me from the Hamish Nanny Shop is the head of T-shirts and bucket hats. Hamish Blake, good morning to you, Hamish. And good morning to you, Andrew, great to be here. Now you've joined us today to respond to recent complaints over a certain line of T-shirts that your group has released. Ah, yes, that's the must-be very nice collection. It was originally promoted as a ten-character, must-be nice range, but we've since reviewed that, be very nice collection. It was originally promoted as a 10 character must be nice range, but we've since reviewed that and we have changed the character count.

Of course, you've had to, but why did you have? Well, an independent watchdog in conjunction with the Department of Health felt that our original must be nice phrase was undercutting the consumer and it was depriving them of vital characters that they need for daily life. And we agreed. Of course you'd agree. So what's the plan from here? Well, we're excited to announce today

that all shirts in the range have not won, not two, but four extra characters added, so that we meet our consumers daily character requirements. Four extra characters, that's extremely generous. I know, but that's just the kind of generosity that people can expect at the Hamish and Andy's shop. So what characters did you decide on Hamish? Great question.

Well, we'd never used a V before or a Y or an R on any of our collections. So that's pretty bold for us to use those three. And then we wanted to add a VAL. And so we think our consumers appreciate and they're familiar with the very common man vowel of E. That's very smart. Thank you, very, very.

And what did you say to those that suggest you forgot that you'd printed thousands of shirts with the longest logo on it? And generally only realize the T said must be very nice as opposed to must be nice when the first samples arrived during the week. I mean, there's lots of things you can say that that lots of great arguments you can make

and unfortunately we're out of time. It's actually my job as a host to wrap it up, but I agree, we are out of time. Thanks so much for joining us, Hamish Wake of the Hamish Nanny Shop, and you can go to hamishnanny.com right now to grab your must-be nice teas. No, it must be very nice.

Always. My dad, sorry. See, it's a very easy mistake to make. Yes, it is. And we sh very easy mistake to make. Yes it is. And we shan't persecute anyone that makes it. We shall understand and appreciate them for what they do. Guys, what's the best phone number? Oh, my mums is close. Let's hear it, okay.

I can't see anybody. Can I know, yeah, how can I do it in a way? Well, this is what's being figured out. The most famous phone number growing up for us was of course Pizza Hut 13 of a wonderful six. I don't know if that was just Victoria, because we were up in Melbourne. But I've got a feeling that was national. Let's talk just mobile then. My mum's in mobile. How about

I say it? We beep it out and you guys just give you a reaction. Okay. 0401. So already you're right at the start. You don't have to beep that bit out. Okay. 0401. I thought that was the most. So just after the beast was over 01, 4 of the same number, then 2 of another number. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's got a quad, you know, but I tell you like, you're not forgetting that. I'll ask you next week, what my mum's number is and you'll remember. I can remember it now. No, you can't.

I can't remember. I can't remember when I heard it. Well, here's the thing, Jacko, you're much better off going, because phone mobile numbers are in the 433 format, which I don't always respect, which upsets Andy, but you have that. No, it has to be read out as 433. Anyone who has that, I hate.

Beck, Beck goes three numbers, then a two, then a two, then another two. Yep. So you could do that with your two, two, four, I think she is. You could do that with your, your mums, because yours is a three, a four, then a two. Yeah, you're right. That does lend itself. That's what I'm saying. But I'll wait, keep it in, people know the format for three, three, exactly. Keep it as that.

What a, I mean, I've also, they've got a friend who's got an O4, double one. And the next starts with one. So I always had it, I've for triple one. Yeah, that was before. And I remember that us learning the same friends phone number that way, but it was before we all agreed it was going to be four, three, three.

Back then, you were doing any type of which way. My first number, my deck. I don't remember agreeing, but I'd stick to 433. No, it's a tiny change. It's not up to you, society agree. Yeah, because when you're keeping me in so far, that haven't been kicked out yet. When you're giving your number, like when Beck is on the phone to someone,

like leaving a number for a restaurant or something like that, she always says 044, 0 0, and then the person goes, sorry, sorry, hang on, was it 044, 044, and they always do zeros. You always do zeros because o's and o's can kind of sound like a, what about a four, right? You say any beginning for, then triple number, different triple number. That's, that's like triple three, triple two. Like that's got to be one of the best. Let me throw some numbers out. You until tell me whether you think it's good.

Okay. Because you can pay for good numbers. Oh, triple four, triple four, triple four. Oh, triple four. Well, you broke in the format. I know. I don't. Straight away. No, it's too many for his.

Because I remember actually once I had a last word. That is too many for. No, no, no, no, it's too many thoughts. Because I remember actually once I had a password. That is too many of us, isn't it? No, no, no, but it's just like too many thoughts. Oh, oh yeah. When you're typing it in, you don't know. Because once I had a password that had like 10Os in a row and it's actually really annoying to like, you're on the metal. Yeah.

After about four, your eyes can't tell how many numbers you've done here. So are we saying, in fact, what we should do here? Let's let's arrive and we think the best number and then we'll give them a call until we're going to do that. What's not that? So are we saying we don't want four four after oh four? No. Say, oh four four four. I think that's hurtful. Oh triple four. Yep. So I would take an O triple four if you then had triples after that. So I'd take

O triple four triple five triple six. That rolls off the tongue nicely. That's not bad. It's a triple four triple five triple six. Like I feel like that should be a company's number. So triple four triple five triple six. Yeah. That is where you get trunsticks. Yeah. I hope it's Bob's drum heaven. What about 0412345678? Still doesn't have the... It doesn't have a bounce. Hams has a rhythm. Interesting, but it doesn't have a cadence.

I think you've got it then, Ham. OK, so we're picking... O, triple four, triple five, triple six. Or is effectively the best number in the world. Or Australia, obviously. Imagine someone picks up and goes, you found me. Legend has it that if you're the first person to call this number, the number you are calling is switched off,

or not in a mobile service area. I reckon it's again later. Do you know what I reckon it is? I reckon it's one of the ones because you can buy, you can pay to have a premium number. And I bet you that's got a huge price on it. Like an NFT and no one's willing to pay for it. How do you find out? Is it like I think when you sign up to the go to the Telstra shop or whatever they go look do you

want a normal number or you get it's like buying personalized number plates or do you want a premium number. So they that's a little that's a catchier. And just a pretty good way to make money, to be honest, from the phone companies. I don't know anyone that has a premium number, but I have, you know, you've been given numbers before and I've gone, do you pay for premium? And sometimes they say yes. Warny, Warny used to have one.

A premium? Yeah. He's a number. Did they retire his number? They should. They should have. Because his number was 23 all the time Yeah, he applied he's was 0 4 2 3 20 3 23 23 23 3 So he had oh wow that's pretty good. Yeah

I hope no one's Unless you've worked in radio or podcasting You will never know the awkwardness that happens. After someone says another folk number on air, that you're not sure if you should have said, it really just hangs out there, doesn't it? Yeah. Call it.

Okay. Call it, and if it's the problem with, I mean, it has to have been retired. Yes. The problem with this number is, as soon as somebody knows warning's number, like even he's close friend circle, it's to have been retired. Yes. The problem with this number is, as soon as somebody knows warning number, even his close friend circle, it's so tempting to go like, you know warning number is 0-4-2-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3- should you bank off? Zero, four, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three.

The hour can probably be retired. It's retired. As it should be. BELL RINGS BELL RINGS Hey, I actually only got one more show left for the bloody government mandated break comes in. Well, we should say, obviously, it's still fighting it, but it looks just had a text from our lawyer.

Doesn't this quickly read it here? Oh, I pulled a bad judge. That's annoying. That's annoying. No, I won't pour it over with the details. They're having to get a certain judge, but he's just saying that they're filing into the courtroom now to appeal and not looking good.

OK, it doesn't matter. We'll keep you updated on that. We'll try to keep you distracted. But in case we're coming towards the end of the year and for real, and we have to take the mandate of break, obviously next week, traditionally on the final show, we tarp some loose ends. Oh yeah.

I've got a pre-luse end. Well, it's an open issue and an open topic that we've received considerable blowback from. Oh, it's not. We're not going back to it. I don't know. It's not GPs. We were going to say that.

That was the word we weren't allowed to mention. No, all good there. Jokes were made. Jokes were, jokes were taken seriously. Jokes were rescinded. And as you remember in that, there was the decision that digging or apologised. Apologised or digging and apologise. We are a dig in.

A lot of dig in, but I said, no, no, no, look, if things were taken far more seriously than they're intended to be taken, the apology happened. But this is, this could be another digging or apologise situation, but can you think of anything we've discussed recently? I would say I was the lead on this again, disappointingly. Jack, you were right there near with me in fierce agreement, and ando, you were probably third most culpable.

Okay. It was a clue. I'll just say it. The C a community. Mate. Like, I'll just read you a few, I'll just read you a few of the first sentences, right? Yeah.

So it doesn't mind me of what was said, because I'd have never had sea monkeys, but I think, well, there was the worst. I mean, that adds, I'm just paraphrasing what we shared at the time. Oh, I love it. Oh boy, oh boy. When one has read it, Reddit exploiting on that.

Simply they were advertised as fun lizard type creatures who lived under the sea and they would live in your field of tank. Yeah, Tuxedo's on and sepis and crowns and sepos. The kingdom, it was a pink, it advertised as a pink animal like sort of like cartoony like animal on the front that lived a wild life. Found a story and it would be very entertaining, but really they diswell. They're back to dust.

We called them back to dust. That comes up a lot, Jack, and now you might have been the one that's it does, but they I tried to grow some for my daughter. They just turned it to dirty water. Throw them out. I was like, this is just such a, this is an absolute, this is an absolute disappointment. Mm-hmm.

And I was like, who really? He leased, sheaam. Sh absolute disappointment. And I was like, who really? Ely said, share. And shocking disappointment. Who really, we mean it can't, you could say that word, because the manufacturers would have to stand in court, point to the front of the box and go, no, that's the animal, we're selling. And it's not, it's sea-lice.

Right, so it's a pack of powdered sea-lice eggs and then men to hatch in there. And you're meant to be mesmerized by watching the sea monkeys grow. Now, Jack and I both have very disappointing experiences with this. Not so everyone else. So, like the email's coming in, so like, you know, I found so disappointed. So disappointed. You see monkey tags.

You take. You see some mixture of people who work for C. Monkeys incorporated or just like people? Georgia. I can't believe you don't appreciate the magic of them coming to life out of a packet. You said that their grains of dust, no one's kept them alive for long and 14 days, might have gone being strung for two months now. That's from Connor. I agree, Jack. This smelled a lot like the people that work at C. Monkeys headquarters, but they're coming in from all countries of the world. Right. So, and we just not grown them properly, Hamish. No, hang on. Like, I'll get to some of them, finally, details. First, we have to decide,

Jack, do we apologize here for our comments and see monkeys or do we dig in now to make the, to make the situation easier, have invented a randomized wheel that has both dig in and apologize on it. We'll take it. We'll take whatever stance it is. And we can use the wheel going forward, I suppose. Diggin or Apologize. Let's see what it says for the C-Monkey's issue. Mm-hmm. P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P Apologize, apologize, apologize, apologize, apologize, apologize, apologize, apologize, apologize,

good to dig in, it's so shit. They're asking, they don't look like they do on the box, it's just sea-lice. Anyway, but to have a little listen of some of the, to have a little listen to some of the, to have a little listen of some of the feedback here. This is from Jordan.

Hey, Michelle, so you know, he goes hard going, you know, I've currently had mine for nine months, they're still going strong, right? So I'll acknowledge that these people are looking after them better than we did, Jack. Of course. And people say, we should take that back.

They're not saying no. They are sea-lice. They just don't look like cartoon characters that bounce around and entertain you all the time. No one can say that the characters on the front of the piece. Yes. Okay. So they're not. No, if you were buying them thinking that's what you're getting, what I mentioned was like nowhere on the back doesn't say by the way they don't look like this. No. I think you just meant to assume you meant to know. I mean imagine the sadness of the box with the real thing on the front. That's why they do it. I think they give them little personalities in the front.

But some people running and going, look, I've had mine for over a year. Hamish mentioned they weren't entertaining. Number six also agreed. Again, very harsh. I hadn't my sea monkeys die a few months ago, but then the new baby's re-spawn from the dead mama week later after she died. That's even more mesmerizing than a coppersphere. So there's stuff going on there. How is this from Hugo? As a passionate C. Monchioauna, three different aquariums.

That's three different boxes of it. You go, you are misled and misinformed. Or just shit owners of an incredibly basic and self-sufficient life form. Which maybe we are. Those little artemia, which I guess is there, I'm technically going to grow quite large and a pleasant addition to any desk or podcast studio. They each have their own personalities to some degree. Some float lower than the others. And this is where this is where he's like, all right, I guess Hugo knows.

They have their own personalities and tend to participate in orgies. I've seen in excess of four having added with each other. Shame on you, calling them specks of dusks, disgruntled listener, C monkey advocate. When he says they grow big, relative to what? Because mind what? The biggest grain of rice.

I'm not joking, we probably got over 12 emails on this. This is the biggest they go. Someone, this is from David, he goes, huh, not big. My C monkey's been alive for a month now. They're big enough to see from across the kitchen table. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. So you have to be pretty close the kitchen table. No, no, it's a jet. Weakly, with legs, with face.

You have to be pretty close to them. The aquariums they came in were plastic containers. And they had built into the surface, little magnifying glasses. Yeah, not right. So you know straight away they're going to be tiny if they have to build in magnification into the product. Yes, that's true.

Look, I don't deny that and I'd like to say that people have enjoyed their ownership of C-Monkeys. Good for you. That's great. We also, it actually came to our attention because we're talking about, they're called the original C-Monkeys. Oh, right. And so I was like, it came up in the original crock jumping stuff.

Someone's mentioned that the original could be there because they could be a similar spectacular original case to answer for because there's also something on the market called Aqua Dragons who maybe a competitor to C monkeys. Well, yeah, and that's what made more exciting, doesn't it? That's what made the manufacturers of C-Monkey's put the original on the front. Aqua Dragons also have, you have to be honest in saying like quite a fantastical illustration on the front compared to what the actual animal is. Well guys, great dig in and a great one to tie up. Next week, hopefully it's not the last episode

because we hate this government, we're dead, we're gonna break it. But if we do lose that core battle, we'll see you next week, type more, we sense. Yeah. you