Handsome - Ego Nwodim asks about doing bad things

Episode Date: December 31, 2024

The hilarious Ego Nwodim of SNL asks a question that's perfect for New Years... plus Fortune's mom Ginger's Handsome plans, mo' motorboating, and Jen Aniston's holiday party!Handsome is hosted by Tig Notaro, Mae Martin, and Fortune FeimsterFollow us on social media @handsomepodMerch at handsomepod.comWatch Handsome on YouTubeThis is a Headgum podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter, Instagram, and Tiktok. Advertise on Handsome via Gumball.fm.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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I'm your host, Fortune Feimster. I'm your other host, Tig Notaro. And I finally am your third host, May Martin. Woo. Yee-haw. Look at us, we're all in green. Earthy, foresty. Earthy colors. I'm in gray. Oh, that's gray? I wish're all in green. Earthy, foresty. Earthy colors.

I'm in gray. Oh, that's gray? I wish I was in green, because green is my favorite color. Green is a good color. Yeah, I think I told the story on here about how I was in a green jacket, green pants, had my green suitcase, and the woman at security, or TSA,

was like, is your favorite color green? Yeah, how'd you know? You're dressed in it head to toe. Oh, right. Head to toe. I really like the, you know, I'm always looking for the perfect tee, the perfect cut, and I really like the length

that your sleeve there take. That's good. Oh, that's too short for me. Really? See, I think it's like a James Dean kind of crop. It's good. No, you too can rock those type of sleeves. I need a little bit more coverage.

You gotta hide those guns. Yeah, I don't wanna show too much. You know, I scare people, give away the milk for free. Yeah, you gotta work for Fortune's Milk. But I also wear a lot of men's t-shirts, so those sleeves are often longer. I get a lot of t-shirts tailored,

like even if it's just- You do? Yeah, yeah, like even if it's a shitty t-shirt or like not really worth it, I'll go spend 25. I don't think, I know you could tailor a tee. Yeah, just take it to like a laundromat that does alterations, you just get this- And then what do they do to it? Well, I always get an inch and a half off the bottom

and then I'm getting sometimes the sleeves shortened a little bit too. Really? Yeah. Wow. This is blowing my mind. Yeah. I have to wear a long tee,

otherwise my belly shows. A long tee is good though. I need a longer tee. Yeah, I just buy a shirt and put it on and head out. Head out the door. Yeah, I just buy a shirt and put it on and head out. Head out the door. Yeah, yeah. I mean, if something rips, I go get it tailored. Yeah.

Do people care about, I've had like suits tailored and, but not in general. I'm not out getting things tailored. I just had two blazers tailored because we're handsome. If you begin to entertain the thought, do people care? Then our whole careers just crumble like a house of cards. I guess you're right. Does anyone care about anything we're saying?

Yeah, sometimes I hear myself, I'm like, shut up. Yeah, that's why I try to avoid listening to myself because I can't do it. I cannot do it. I'm always like, how are people into this? Really? Oh my gosh, yeah. That's so funny.

Podcasting, stand up, acting. I mean, and I'm not like really attacking myself because I don't feel like I'm really that hard on myself. But I am a little like, I think it's just because, I'm used to myself. So it's hard to imagine that somebody wants extra. I haven't done stand up, or hadn't done stand up in like six months.

And then I did a set recently and- How'd it go? It went pretty well. I truly, I mean, I told the bear story, um, you know, about the bear portal and the painting and, but I really had, I heard myself saying, wouldn't it be funny if, uh, the way the moon like waxes and wanes, like the moon gets full and then if like our bums did that, like if our bum became really round, yeah, like for the, no, not bum holes. Like if the full moon, we had like a round bum

and then it went anyway. And that was a moment where I had outside of myself. I was like, what is, why do you think you need to say that into a microphone? Like no one is laughing. That's the beauty of art. You just say whatever you want. Working out new standup.

Yes. I will tell you guys this. I just got off the phone with my mother. How is Ginger? Ginger Famester. How is she? She's good. I'm about to go spend four days with her.

So hopefully I have some fun stories for you because she's a doozy. Yes. And she said, um, I saw that the handsome pod is go and I'm like, get to it. What are you asking? Cause everything's very drawn out. Well, I saw that the handsome pod is going to be performing in April at the Ryman. And I go, mm-hmm. Well, I love the Ryman, but I have never been.

I go, then how do you know you love it? I just know I love it. And I wanted to go there and I didn't get to go when you did it on your tour last tour and I think I know Tig and May, they like me. Do you know that? Do you know that for sure? They like me and they would want me to come see that show. Yes, we would. I said, this is an actual conversation. I had this right before.

I went to get a coffee. Tig and May like me. I know Tig and May like me. I know Tig and May, they like me. They would want me to be there. We of course want her to be there. 100%. So she's already plotting and planning for this April gig.

She's not gonna come out for Austin? No, she can drive to Nashville. She likes to drive to these places. Would she come on stage? Yeah, oh God, yeah, now she's really good. Now she's really gonna sell triple fast. She will die if she gets to be on stage at the Ryman. That actually is a pretty fun idea.

Yeah, oh my God, yeah. Maybe ask one more question. That'd be great. Yeah. Gosh, maybe when we. That'd be great. Yeah. Gosh, maybe when we're in Austin, I could get my aunt to come up on stage or something. We have different family members coming on stage. I get my whole family to come on stage in Austin. Well, my mom, my mom just had a knee surgery. So her whole thing about having the knee surgery was that she was going to be

turning over a new leaf and once her knee surgery, she goes, you know, I had a surgery recently. I go, you did? Yes. I had my knee surgery and I'm losing weight. So that means that I can come to more shows. I was like, Oh, good for me. Now, does she listen to handsome? Is she getting her?

Okay. So she's going to hear this. Ginger, get yourself listen to handsome? Is she gonna? She sure does. Okay, so she's gonna hear this. Ginger. She is. Ginger, get yourself out to Nashville. Get yourself. Oh God. This is gonna be expensive for me

because I have to pay for her hotel. She's staying with me. Oh good, man. Yeah, man, come on now. Hang out with Ginge. Yeah. Well, so there you go. I've never been to so many parts of the States,

but in Nashville, are we gonna do something like music-y? Like it's a big music town, right? You should bring your guitar if you want. Well, I wasn't so much thinking. Oh, that. We should probably invite Dolly. Oh my God. Oh yeah, could Dolly come? What if Dolly asked us a question?

Oh, that's the dream. Oh my gosh. Hi, handsome. Andlly asked us a question? Oh, that's a good dream. Hey handsome. And then she plays the nail. Oh, that was good, Fortune. Let's hear it again. Dolly has a very specific accent. I don't think I'm going to do it. Well, y'all.

Yeah, I can't do Dolly's accent. No, you just did it perfectly. Hey handsome. Hey handsome. Everything's sing songy. Yeah. When I went down to the market. She plays her nails. That famous song when I, when I went down to the market plays her nail.

That famous song when I went down to the market. That is really a catchy tune. When I went down to the market. Do y'all know her foundation gives away like millions and millions and millions of dollars worth of books to kids. Yeah. She's unbelievable. She really is. I love that woman. I'd motorboat her. Wait, I'm sorry, what? Who said that? You would motorboat?

I would motorboat. Yes. You just went in from her foundation. Her foundation and her charity work. Well, you can love people without motorboating them. There are so many people that I love. I didn't do a good job of the grammar in that sentence. I love her and all the altruistic stuff she does, period.

I'd also motorboat her. No matter where the punctuation went, Fortune. But that's how you show your love, Fortune. It's a really specific thing to you. It was, you're a motorboat. I love a motorboat. That's so funny. So I'll never know your love.

Yo, what am I gonna, what are you gonna smack me around with? What'd you call them? Garbage tits. Dumpster tits. Dumpster tits. Dumpster tits. That's yours.

What are you gonna hit me with your dumpster tits? Oh my God. If I can find them in the alleyway. They're there. I'll get them out. You know they're still there. They're still there. Nobody's motorboat, nobody's doing it to me.

There's too much space here. You've never been motorboated? No, I don't think no, because there's not a lot to work with. Yeah, but like if Jax really wanted to make it happen. If Jax wanted that, I would give it to her in 2.2 seconds. So he would like to have a good motorboat. And yeah, if that's what she needs and wants, I will do that for my wife,

but she's never gonna ask for that. Okay, we need to, I'm gonna DM Jax and be like, fortune's too embarrassed to ask you, but she wants- I think I have her number. I might just text her directly. I'm gonna DM Jackson, be like, fortune's too embarrassed to ask you, but she wants- I think I have her number. I might just text her directly. Yeah, text Jackson. She's gonna say, what are you talking about on-

Can I text her right now? Yeah, okay. But you know the, you know when you- I actually don't know if I have her number. When you, look. But you know when you want your partner to do something, but you want them to wanna do it. And like, it's just ruined if you have to ask for it.

Like it has to come from them. Jack, I want you to want to be motorboated. I want you to want to motorboat me. I want you to motorboat. I need you to motorboat. I love you to motorboat. I love you to motorboat. God, should we put this on nice? I'm begging you to motorboat. I do love a motorboat.

Sorry, y'all. I love Cheap Trick. That's a good band. Dream Police. Do you like that song? I don't know that song. Never heard of it. That's a good band. Dream Police, do you like that song? I don't know that song. I've never heard of it.

It's real good. Do you think Cheap Trick is a reference to sex work? I do. Have you guys ever been asked to sign someone's boob? Yes, many a time. Really? Have you not? But I have to say I think I have.

You say no? Yeah. Even if it's over the shirt. I would do it like up here, but I can't sign the boot. That's it. That was in my marriage vows. Oh, I was like, if anyone asked me to sign their boot. Jax, I will never sign a tootie. For the rest of my life.

I will not sign my name within an inch of a nipple. I swear to thee. I met someone after a show who had got a tattoo that said feel good in the font of the show and it was like up on her bum cheek. And did you sign it? I did actually. Yeah. Did she ask you to sign it or you're just like, yeah, she did. Give it here. Give me that marker. Back in the back of my single days, I signed some boobs. Now I'm- Good for you, girl.

Now I'm dead inside. Wait, are you really not allowed to sign boobs in your marriage? I just had to respect I don't sign boobs. What if Jax was there and the person wanted both of you to sign? I don't care if she signed the boob, but she would have to,

I would have to make sure it was okay with her. Normally if someone's like, will you sign my boob? I go, how about your back or your shoulder? I just pivot. I don't not sign. We just pivot. Speaking of marking up bods,

I got a tattoo recently. Oh! A new one. What is it? I got two actually. What is it? Like a hot dog bun or something? Can we see it or is it?

It's really, why? Cause it's so random, the ones I get? Yeah, like you have some oatmeal. I have oatmeal. I don't know. Is this one we can see or is it in a private part? It is online. Cause we're happy to sign it.

Yeah, no, I can show it. It was really impulsive. I was just walking by. You know, I had this godfather in Greece in a little rural village in Greece. He died a couple of years ago. I think you told us in early episode. Well, I've been trying to think,

how could I get a tattoo to honor him? Because he was such a larger than life character. And I was thinking he was in the Navy, the Greek Navy, and he was a chef in the Navy. And one time the food was too salty. And one of the sailors angrily got up and stabbed him in the chest with a fork. And so as a kid, I used to love hearing this story. It electrified me and he had a scar on his chest of four from a fork. And so I got tattooed on my chest

like a... What? It's pixelated. Oh, I see dots. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, wow. Like a fork. It looks like someone stabbed me with a fork.

Anyways, and then I got to take your face. Over your heart? Yeah, over my heart, yeah. Over my heart. Wow. And then I wrote the, over my heart, yeah. Over my heart. Wow. And then I wrote the word bear. Oh yeah, here we go, now we're talking.

I got the word bear. God, man, you're so fit. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Because of the bear. It's ripped. Oh wait, so you got two tattoos?

Yeah, bear and fork scar. Wow. Anyway. Good for you. Wow, okay. They come over you. Wow. Good for you. Okay. They come over you in the morning. Sometimes you think I gotta get one today. Oh really? Is that how it works?

I've never had a tattoo. I haven't either. Put it on the list, Thomas. Not for me. My body's a temple, can't you tell? What about if Dolly Parton said, I will spend a week hanging out with you and Jax. Yes, I would get face tattoos.

Oh no, don't get a face tattoo. If Dolly said she would spend a week with you and Jax, yes, I would get face tattoos. I would get a tattoo, but not on my face. What if she said that you gotta get my signature tattooed on you? I would have Dolly's signature. Yeah.

It has like a heart or something on her. What if she says you have to get my face tattooed on your face? I don't want a face tattoo. Oh, okay. I love Dolly, but that's a lot. I have to live with that for the rest of my life. We would have to live with it.

I know, we got a podcast with you. We gotta look at it. We gotta look at it. We gotta look at it. You just see Dolly right here. Mm-hmm. All my cheek. We've played before the game I invented called what would you let Jennifer Aniston peer pressure you

into doing, right? Yeah. I think on an early episode, yeah. Do we have another situation? Well, face tattoo's a good one. If she said matching, she was like, honey, let's just get two small little tattoos on our faces, just tiny little ones and best friends for life. You know I'm doing it. You think Jen's going to do that to her face?

In this scenario, she is. I mean, Tig, I feel like you're like, well, I'm already friends with her. I mean, Tig, I feel like you're like, well, I'm already friends with her. I don't. Yeah, I'm already friends. So I don't, I mean, if she was like, we gotta do this to be friends for life, I would be like, what about all the other stuff you already said I was already in for life?

What about the 10,000 promises you made? Yeah, you've already made 10,000 promises, Jen. Why do I have to get a matching face tattoo with you? We get tear drops. Yeah, I know. Me and Jen have. I love Jen, but I don't want a face tattoo. Mm-hmm.

I love her too. And I won't do it. I'm not doing it. I mean, I'm not even gonna consider it until I get invited to her holiday party. Oh, you didn't get the invite? Oh, shut up. Are you serious?

You've already been invited. Oh, you already got the invite. Oh, fortune, what are we gonna do? I was definitely busy that night. Can I be your plus one? Yeah, can we be your plus ones? Ha ha ha. We promised to be cool. We won't be weird. Yeah, we'll be cool.

We won't be weird. We'll be cool. I mean, it totally comes across like you would totally be cool. I wouldn't bring up the game. I'll just let her hear this. I'll let her hear this. I'll be totally cool.

No, I'll let her hear this episode. I'll see her and be like, I'll do this. What's up? That would be good, Fortune. I won't even act like too excited to see her. What's up Jen? Yeah, hey Jen. What's going on?

Or Stephanie can come and ask Jen if you can get a plus plus. What about me? I said plus plus, well, plus plus plus. What about me? Plus plus plus. Maybe Fortune can be your plus one. Guys, I don't think you're gonna be at Jen's party. No, I don't say that.

I just don't, it's not looking promising. Well, can I work in the kitchen? Can I drive you two there? I have a good idea. Here's how you could get in. The horse costume. Oh, the horse costume. The Trojan horse in Jen's party.

That is the only one. Here's our plan. I'm gonna drive you and Stephanie. Okay. And then we pull up to her house. Again, I'm not seeing me in this equation. Thanks for coming, we'll text you. Yeah, but there's a whole security gate situation.

I'm like, I'm going up through there. And then when I'm up there, I'm like, oh, I gotta pee. And they're like, ah. And then I go, Jen, what? Oh my God, so good to see you again. And then the security starts dragging you off the property. She goes, I'm gonna see you.

Oh, honey. I must've invited you, I don't remember. Okay, what about this? And then I'm there. I dress up as either Max or Finn and we pass me off as one of your children. You'd be Finn. I'd be Max then.

Yeah. I bring my sons Max and Finn. And for some. Oh my God. Okay, well. That would be so funny having you both in car seats in the back. Well, me and Fortune are gonna have our own holiday party. Yeah, we're gonna watch Jen Anderson's movies.

Yeah, yeah. She's not invited to the party, but we're gonna watch all her movies. She is gonna be so upset, you guys. Yeah, well. Anyway, so frustrating. I was thinking that maybe we got invites this year because she was on the handsome pod.

I know, if only that was how it worked, then we'd be invited to Tom Hanks' party. Yeah, so many- Arnold. Melissa McCarthy, I heard, throws a good party around the holidays. Oh man, where's our invite? I got invited to Arnold's house. Okay, well, I feel like it's,

now it's gonna get out there that we're just desperate. I'm not desperate, I don't wanna go. Yeah, I don't actually wanna go, I'm busy. I'm super busy. Yeah, who cares? I'm gonna be in Toronto anyway. I got a lot of boobs to sign. Oh, you're gonna miss the party? I got a lot of boobs to sign. You're gonna miss the party? I got a lot of boobs to motorboat.

Yeah. Are you gonna for real miss the party because you're in Toronto? I don't know yet. I'm missing Zoe Deschanel's party, not to brag, but I'm gonna be in Toronto, I'm really sad about that. I was invited to that one too. I wasn't.

Wait, you're gonna be in Toronto then too? Good for you guys. Okay. I'm gonna eat my scone. I'm going for like five days or something in December. Okay, what are you doing? Doing a charity, actually yeah, a charity music show in honor of my friend who passed away

who was an amazing musician. And it raises money for this very cool charity that helps people with mental illness produce their music and people with addiction and stuff. It like gets their music, gets their music made, get them in the studio. Yeah, so I'm doing that and going into the edit to watch some of the cuts.

I've been editing remotely, like online with the editor in Toronto for Wayward and I'm gonna go in in person and watch my face twitch on a big screen. Now wait, it's called Wayward? Why did I think it was called something else? It was called Tall Pond. Oh, okay.

Everybody thought that was too much like Twin Peaks. And so we called it Wayward, because the show is about Wayward youth, you know. Because I was gonna suggest the facts of life. Oh, that's, hang on a sec. Let me text. Good times. Yeah, good times. Oh yeah, good times would be a good one. What about happy days?

Or the nanny. Is it in my imagination or were you really into the Fonz for a while? I mean, I loved happy days, but Sarah Silverman kind of refers to me as the Fonz. but Sarah Silverman kind of refers to me as the Fonz. And then Kate Mccoochie's parents call me the Tig. Love Mccoochie. The Tig? The Tig. Yeah, I like that.

Kind of like the Fonz, they said. Yeah. It would be good if my parents had a nickname for you guys and if you had a relationship with them. I know. Yeah. When can that happen? I would like to have a nickname from both of your parents.

Yeah, I'll get on that. My dad would be like, what? Do you want a what for what? Is he gonna come out to the Ryman? He definitely will not. Why? He didn't listen to any of this stuff. So what?

My radio show, I mean, I don't even think he's seen my specials. I don't think he has Netflix. Really? Or maybe he watched at my mom's house. I'm not sure. But even though he doesn't follow the show, can he just come out and visit us? I mean, we're his three. He hates to travel.

Oh man. He's really making this difficult. He's a very simple guy. We're going to have to go to him, Teg. I'm about to go buy him a pair of Skechers tennis shoes this afternoon. That's so nice. He likes Skechers? He wants to try those slip-ons

that are like lightweight tennis, tennis, so you don't have to like worry about all the hubbub of. Dragging those heavy shoes around. Yeah. Should we hear from our questioner? Mm-hmm. Yes, please. Today's questioner is an actress and comedian who's been a cast member of Saturday Night Live since 2018. She's also appeared in films like Players, Genie and Good Burger 2.

Eggo Wodum is asking today's question. Nice. Hello, handsome. My name is Eggo Wodim is asking today's question. Nice. Hello, handsome. My name is Ego Wodim. You might recognize me from Saturday Night Live, among other things. But here's my question for you. When's the last time you did something you knew was not good for you, but you did it anyway, and what was the thing?

Ego is so funny. Have you seen her Dionne Warwick impression? Yes. No, but I is so funny. Have you seen her Dionne Warwick impression? Yes. No, but I would love to. It's so good. I love Dionne Warwick. And they've had Dionne Warwick on the show where Ago's dressed up as Dionne interviewing

Dionne. Amazing. Yeah, she's so funny. I met her at that, I went to this charity event, Big Slick in Kansas City, and she was there. And she's just so like effortlessly funny and talented. And it's such a staple on that show. She's got just an aura. Like she's got the X factor for sure.

She's really close with our old assistant. Oh, really? Yeah. Yeah. So I would hear about her, I think even before she got on SNL. Oh yeah. Yeah. It's a really good question as well.

I feel like in a, oh I was about to get really, well here we go. I feel in a constant state of shame because I feel so aware of all the things that are bad for me, especially like just on social media, like it's, like we know what would make us happy.

And it's like eat balanced whole foods, get good sleep, drink water, meditate. And it's just hard to do all those things, you know? I know I'm on my phone too much. You know, I had a tough summer, I was smoking cigarettes. Like, I just know these things. But then the shame spiral is useless as well. Cause then I'm like, well, you know,

what's the point of anything? So it's like thing by thing. And then like the other day I, on Instagram, I saw advertised this thing called like a grounding sheet. It's like a bottom sheet that you put on your bed. Have you heard of this thing? I have one. I ordered one.

I don't know what this is. It's like, apparently we're all charged with static electricity all the time and because of all the electronics around us and all the shit we do. And so this sheet is the same as like walking in bare feet on the earth and it, I don't know, like grounds your ions or something,

you plug it in and but then so I bought it and now I guess I'm less electricity. But I was like, I was like, I wish I never knew that I'd been walking around the lousy with electricity all this time. Like it's endless the things that we are having to do to be healthy. And it's a full-time job. And I feel guilty for not meditating and all that. I just have to get all that off my chest. Do you like, do you find your, cause they showed a video of

like a scan they did that showed all the electricity in someone's body and then on the grounding sheet, they're like neutralized. Do you feel better, Tig? I mean, I haven't really noticed anything. The first time I used it, I did have a really good night's sleep, which is unusual for me. And then I didn't notice anything after that,

but I just am like, I'll just keep at it just in case it's doing something that might be helpful. Same. Yeah. I've not heard of this, so. So I guess my short answer to that question is like daily. Always everything. Yeah, just on my phone before bed.

I'm smoking at the moment, like two cigarettes a day and I hate them and I know I should. And I got hypnotized to try to quit. And I went to see this hypnotist and she was like, I'm gonna put in your brain a trigger where when you think a bad thing about yourself, you see blocked and you don't wanna smoke. And I don't know, I haven't seen that blocked thing.

I don't know. It hasn't come up. No. Have you ever been hypnotized before? No, it was pretty cool. I wanna go back, like I was lucid. I was in a deep state of relaxation for sure. Like on the cusp of being asleep

and then she was kinda walking me through like visualizations, have you done it? I haven't, I think it's interesting. I don't trust that I would be able to be. To let go. To give over to it. Yeah, I just don't, I can't picture myself in that state. I could just picture myself relaxed.

Feels like it would require a lot of concentration. This is kind of an extension of what I was saying. I'm just beating myself up through the whole hypnotism being like, I don't think I'm doing it right. I don't think I'm relaxed enough. I think I'm still, you know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah, but I think you guys could do it.

It was like, she kind of overwhelmed me with a bunch of rapid fire questions. And then really fast she goes, okay, now look at the ceiling, pick a spot. And then she's counting back from 10. And she said that overwhelming was part of it she like overloads your brain so then when you get a break your brains like yeah I know one of yours may but we can cut it if you don't want me to share it what I

could tell you and then you can decide well but may was going through something and read us a long text and Ting and I both go, don't send that. Oh man. And then you sent like an abbreviated version of it, but not that abbreviated. Here's the thing. I'm a texter, but also I'm like, I don't want to play games. I want to say how I feel. But sometimes, you know, and sometimes I know like, oh, the way to get through to this person is to be like,

hey, cool. Yeah, whatever. I'm like, no, I'm sad. I got to say how I feel. I don't want to play games. But yeah, you guys were all like, don't send that. We're like, don't send that. May, put the phone down.

Walk away. And I was like, yeah, of course, of course. And then two minutes later. You were like, yeah, yeah, yeah, you're right down, walk away. And I was like, yeah, of course, of course. And then two minutes later. Yeah, you were like, sure, yeah, yeah, yeah, you're right, you're right. And then I was like, still like that long? I was like, no, I really shortened to you guys.

And also sometimes my friends are like, just be firm. And I'm like, yeah, I'm gonna be pretty strong worded here. And then I'm like, you know, really, if you'd like. If it's okay with you. If it's okay with you, it would be really nice to connect. Yeah. I'm free anytime. Yeah.

But I get it because we've all been in those situations where somebody's ruling you. Yeah, and you're just like, you know that you shouldn't overdo the thing. Just be like, yeah, great. But you're so in it that you can't. I like you just wanna like word vomit. What you said that was good for some of the, or maybe it was you Tig, someone said, you can't say the wrong thing to the right person.

I liked that. It was me, I'm so smart. It was really smart. It's like you shouldn't be- Wait, let me write that down. Yeah. Hold on one second. Along with live, laugh, love.

Yeah, wait, it's, you can't say. But yeah, it's just so interesting how other people can see like, oh, they shouldn't do this. Don't talk to that person. The path is so clear, because all of us have been there. Yeah.

And when you're not emotionally involved in that thing, you go, yeah, this is so clear what this person should do, but man, when you're in it, is it hard? It is impossible. Impossible. It is truly like moving a mountain. I mean, same with just like healthy habits with my friends. I'm like, if you could let me inhabit your brain

and I would just make some choices, I'd fix up your life, just give me a couple days. And I know that my friends could also do that with me, but it's just hard to take your own advice. Well, we're also creatures of a habit. I mean, listen, the amount of times I've told myself, don't eat that cheeseburger, go for the salad. I mean, that's my internal dialogue

that's constantly battling. Yeah, and then how do you, and then like the shame spirals, and it's like, and then that's not helpful. Yeah. Yeah. Do you feel like it's more of a struggle for you like to say, to be like, don't eat that cheeseburger or like don't call that girl, you know,

like what struggle would you say would be harder? That would have, it would depend on the time of my life. Pre-jacks, I definitely spiraled over some people. We're in hindsight now. I go, oh my God, what was I thinking? Yeah. You know, where you're just like, Jesus, that was wild. Yeah.

Um, yeah, you just can't like you're a whole other person. Yeah, when you come out of it, you're like, I'm sorry, that, and not to like be rude to, you know, nameless, faceless people, but I mean, it is crazy when you reach the other side and you're like, yes, why did you have a hold on me? There are definitely people in my past, like from my twenties who I're like, why did you have a hold on me? There are definitely people in my past, like from my twenties who I was like,

I will never love again. And then looking back, I'm like, this was it, the one that got away. It's also funny to think about how everybody is also somebody that you've been somebody that somebody wanted or wanted to be back together with. And it's funny to think that they're looking at you going, I can't believe I was.

I was. I was. So hung up on that. Yeah, that I was hung up on Tig or May or Fortune. Like we're just like these hilarious afterthoughts. Like so much of that is ego, like so much of trying to convince someone to love you or to his ego and like wounded self-worth.

If you actually can release your ego and be like, yeah, if you'll be happier without this guy, be my guest. No, but in a genuine way, like, yeah, I'm trying to. I know, I've seen a few people in my life go through just horrible heartache and do it with such. Grace?

Yeah, like... Yeah, that's what I'm trying to do. Yeah, where I'm truly blown away. Yeah. And of course, they're suffering privately and whatever, but the way that they dealt with the breakup is so... I'm friends with a lot of my exes, and I think I do like the approach of like,

well, if you do really love this person, then if you're able to put your ego aside, then you can, you still just, you want them to be happy. And yeah, yeah. Okay, so Tig, what do you do that is bad for you that you still do? I mean, this is such a boring topic and I apologize, but I think that my insights really were wrecked

when I got really sick in 2012. And there are certain foods that are so painful for me to eat. And I mean, painful. Like a certain, like gluten and stuff or? And certain fried, like sometimes when I have fried food and yeah, probably some gluten and, but I'll be on the straight and narrow for a long time. And then I'll go out.

Like I went to the morning show rap party and just I'll go to things and I'll just be like, I'm just gonna enjoy myself. I'm just gonna eat whatever. And then sure enough, you know, I'm standing there and I turned to Stephanie, I'm like, eat whatever and then sure enough, I'm standing there and I turn to Stephanie, I'm like, I am in so much pain. Oh man, dang.

Yeah. Isn't it always the way it's like when you feel your best, you're like, you feel invincible. So you're like, yeah, I can do this. Or I just see other people just like, and like my weakness is like chips and salsa and chips and guac and all that stuff. And so I'm just looking around, everyone's eating it

and I'm going for it. But half the time, it's so crazy, I forget, I will completely forget that these foods cause me severe pain. And I'll turn to Stephanie and she's like, I was watching you thinking this is here we go. And I'm like, I truly forgot. I was just like in the moment, just like mindlessly having these chips. And then, and it's not immediate like one second later,

but it, you know, like I'm hanging out an hour later as the night goes on. I'm like, oh gosh, acid is burning a hole through me. It's so hard when as a partner too, when you see your partner doing something, you don't wanna be the naggy likes. You're like, they're a grownup. Let them make their choices because you don't want to be like, yeah, should you be eating that?

But I know I do appreciate it when Stephanie leans over and is like, just remember, you know, like, because half the time I'm unconscious and I'm just not thinking about it. And I and then other times I am aware and I will still just be like, whatever, I'm just gonna do what everyone else is doing. And then, so yeah. Will she say occasionally, hey, just. Oh yeah, definitely.

When we were at the morning show, we were standing at a bar and there were like two or three people between us when I started going at the chips. And so she said she saw me, but she just continued her conversation. I couldn't reach you. But yeah, those moments pop up for me where I'm like, I know I'm gonna be in some pain. Yeah. I think I like a harm reduction model rather than an abstinence model for a lot

of things because I feel like it's for me, it's the shame spiral that really like, like if someone's like, if you have another cigarette, I'm not gonna date you, then I don't know, then I'm gonna be hiding it. I going to feel, I remember being at a, yeah, like a dinner party with Parv and having a cigarette and she hates smoking, but she was so chill about it. And I was like, let's see that makes me, yeah, not want to smoke instead of wanting to rebel. Yeah.

I mean, mine's always like food-based. Like I will order whatever I want. And then afterwards it'd be like, why can't you make better choices? Right. And I know like it's not the good choice, but I was like, don't care. Yeah. So I wish I were like a little bit more disciplined with myself in that way, but even like life things, like I'll kind of know that like, all right, you're like

very tired today and you didn't get enough sleep. So maybe don't call your mom today and then, or like answer the phone and then she'll, you know, cause moms know how to push the buttons. Oh, right. Right. So I know I'm, it's probably not the best time to like talk and I answer anyway. Yeah.

I'm like, why did I, now we're fussing at each other, why did I do that? You know, like I could have just texted, hey, let me call you tomorrow. Yeah, yeah. But yeah, we all just kind of get in these habits. And how are you guys with your phones? Like are you before bed playing best fiends?

I was really bad about it for a while, where I was like just mindlessly scrolling. Yeah. Because I find when I'm like crazy busy and like my days... Minds racing and... Yeah, my days have been like packed to the minute for the last month. And so when I would have that like end of the night, I'm finally lay on the couch, all I do is just mindlessly scroll

because I don't want to think about anything. But I'm like so not present for Jackson, my home life, and I was doing it right before bed. So we've been trying the last like two weeks to go to bed a lot earlier. And I'm trying not to, when I go to my bed, not to be on my phone. Yeah.

You reading or something or? Yeah. Or making it. Boy is it hard, I just love looking at dumb shit. Yeah, phones are TikTok. What are you looking at when you say you're scrolling? Are you looking at your friends' pages? Oh, oh, I see.

Oh, you're TikTok, yeah. Oh, TikTok isly addicting. And I was like late to the TikTok game and kind of was like, what is this? And then in the last year, I started being more active on it. And it does have this way of sucking you in where you just like, you just scroll up and it's video after video after video. But the algorithm is so sophisticated that it knows, like it just starts taking you, you watch one thing,

it's like, oh, we're gonna give you eight more of these kinds of things. I know, it knows exactly what you want. Yeah. And so what is it that you're liking that you're watching? Is it like comedic stuff? It is the craziest stuff I would never think to wanna watch or be interested in, but suddenly I'm watching people eat a triple dipper

from Chili's. And half of TikTok is people eating food and it's all over their face. Oh my God, I should start a TikTok account where I eat food and then I'm in pain. Yes, people would relate. Guys, I- It's hugely popular on TikTok.

I went to, just remind me that I went to Denny's for the first time in my life. What do you think? I kind of, I love- Were you in pain? Yeah, I was in a huge amount of pain after, but I had a- I call that a Denny's gasket. You blew a Denny's gasket.

I truly did. Moves over my hammy. Oh man, it was great though. I Googled it, started in 1953, Denny's in California. Sometimes you just want breakfast for dinner. Oh yeah. That's the kind of place that you would get that at. I think I would probably go to IHOP over Denny's.

Wait, no, because I've been to IHOP and hated it. Oh, you hated it? I'm shocked, Fortune. So you like Denny's better. The atmosphere is way better. Truth be told, I haven't been to a Denny's in maybe 20 years. Okay, so IHOP is like brightly lit.

I have no idea when I was last into Denny's. The last time I was in an IHOP was I think the last time I saw my father before he was dying. Like he had come to the city and surprised me where I was doing stand up. And I remember I got up stage and I was walking to the green room and I saw this guy leaning up against the wall and I was like, God, it looks like my father. Oh my God.

Boom, it was. And wow. That's amazing. Yeah, and then the next morning he had gotten a hotel and he took me to IHOP in the morning. That is so sweet. When you actually break that down and you think about the stages of planning and the decision that he made to surprise you

and that's very sweet, I like that. Yeah, my dad would never do that. Well, there's a lot my father did not do in decades that I didn't see him. So this is the least he could do. I remember it was so embarrassing because I was sitting with him, I was doing a club. This was so long ago.

I was doing like,. This was so long ago. I was doing, it was like Christmas, you know, when they have Christmas parties at clubs. And so both shows, early and late show were sold out and my father was like so impressed. And I was like, no, no, no. I was like, nobody, they didn't buy tickets to see me. This is like holiday parties. Right. He, I could not convince him. He thought like I was the biggest star in the world. And it was so embarrassing because somebody came up

and interrupted us while we were sitting, you know, at a little table talking and asked me to sign my autograph on a glass they had bought at the bar, at the club. Yeah. And I was, I was so embarrassed signing, cause I was just telling him that I'm not a big deal, you know? And then now I'm being asked to sign my autograph.

And it was also so odd to sign his last name in front of him. That's so weird, yeah. Yeah, because I wasn't, I was, you know, he just was kind of in and out of my life. And so it was so weird trying to explain, I'm not a big deal. And then signing an autograph with his last name on it.

Yeah, but as a parent, you would love that, I think. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Weirdly, the only person who surprised me at a show like that is my godfather, who I mentioned, who I had never seen out of the context of this tiny rural Greek village in Corfu. One night in London, I look, it was so weird seeing him out of context and he's sort of, yeah. And he acted like, yeah, yeah, man. Yeah. I was like, what, Philip? And he was like, yeah, you know, somehow really, you know, I thought, you know, I'd come, you know, see you do, you know, comedy.

That's how he. I just got off the boat. Yeah. He just, I got a fork sticking out of my chest. Yeah. He could catch flies in his hand. He could roll a cigarette with one hand. He was very fucking cool.

Dang. Yeah. That was cool. My father carried a pistol in his cowboy boot. Are you serious? I am very serious. Into like... And knives, he'd have a knife in his cowboy boot.

A dude with a random knife just on their belt or something is wild. He also had like a chest holster. Jesus. Yeah. And was he, were they loaded? I don't know. I mean, my father was a real interesting character. How old were you when they split? I was six months old. Oh, okay. So you never lived with him?

No, he would just, no, he would just pop up and pop out. And, um, he sounded like Crocodile Dundee of Mississippi. Well, he claimed to be part of the Mississippi mafia. Wait, you know, honestly, he probably was. I didn't know there was a Mississippi mafia, but he was Italian, right? Yeah. Italians love mafias.

Yeah, there's the Dixie mafia, the Mississippi mafia. Anyway, we sat at IHOP and he told me about his days there. Oh really? Yeah. Hilarious. Was that the last time you saw him? When he was, yeah, healthy and then I went, like right before he died. I saw him.

Yeah. But yeah, he was. He was in the Mississippi mafia. Interesting character. And I went to IHOP with him. Anyway, that was the last time I was at IHOP and my father was like, this is my treat. And I was like, oh, okay.

Even though you're so fancy, it's not an autograph. So yeah. Well, should we hear Ego's answer? I forgot what the question was. Oh yeah, yeah. What do you do? Doing things that are maybe not good for you.

Guilty as charged. My answer is that I, notorious for having stomach aches and a sensitive stomach, yesterday decided I wanted to make my stomach hurt more than it already did when I woke up. Stomach kind of hurt in the morning. And I decided quite arbitrarily, quite destructively, that I wanted to have a sandwich. I'm rarely ever craving a sandwich. That's a whole other story and another topic for another day.

But I decided to go get a sandwich from a sandwich spot in the West Village. It was called the Capone. It had soppressata on it, salami, another pork item. I don't know if that's not necessarily the problem here. Maybe. But then I had provolone and mozzarella. I'd asked for no alterations to this sandwich. Provolone and mozzarella. I'm kind of lactose intolerant. In fact, I am lactose intolerant and I'm in denial about it. And I know that it makes my stomach hurt when I have a lot of dairy. So I had not only one type of cheese, I had two types of cheese.

And I saw the guy slicing the cheese and I saw him put extra on it. And I wasn't like, oh, no, that's enough. I was kind of like, let's be destructive. And then I got it on Shabbat. I had all kinds of bread options. Didn't even ask for a gluten gluten free bread, even though I have a gluten sensitivity, which is really tragic to me. Didn't even ask for that was like, I'm gonna I want Shabbat. Thank you very much. And of course, today, my stomach hurts more than it did yesterday. But I can't be mad at anyone because I did it to myself. But can you please share your tales of something similar so that I don't feel so alone in my destructive ways? OK, bye bye, handsome. I am and right on the notes.

Yeah, and you, kid. Yeah. Yeah. Very messes up a lot of people. Mine wasn't dairy, but yeah, yeah. Yeah. Dairy and gluten can really tear up some stomachs and some buttholes. Yeah.

And lives in general. It'll just destroy people's lives. Is that new though? Like how, like that sucks. I think it's the stuff that's in the food. Yeah, it's just like, cause a lot of people that have like dairy or gluten stuff here can go to Italy and be totally fine.

Yeah, yeah. Eating, eating people that can't eat the bread here, just like wolf it down over there. I just break out if I eat a lot of dairy and gluten. Yeah. Well, anyway. I'd love to see that. I just push through. I eat a lot of dairy and gluten. Yeah. Anyway. I'd love to see that. I just push through.

Well, that sandwich did sound good though. You know, and when sometimes that little dopamine rush when you take the first bite, maybe it's worth it. And I'm actually not too far from the West Village right now. Oh. Somebody might be getting some stomach aches. Hello.

Hello. Well, that was a fun episode. It was. Fun question and something I think a lot of people can relate to. Yes. Well, you guys know what today is, right? Is it your birthday?

No. Although it's close to my half birthday. Do we do half birthdays on this podcast? Why not? Then it's tomorrow, my half birthday. Happy birthday to me. It's New Year's Eve, guys. Oh my lord.

So I know everybody's going to get wild tonight. I'm going to go hog wild. That really matches our question today about resolutions. People are going to be making some bad choices. We hope you make good choices. Be safe. I'm definitely over like getting wasted on New Year's Eve because starting the year hungover is so bleak.

Oh my God. Starting any day hungover. Oh my God. Jax and I are are gonna be making vision boards probably tomorrow or the next day. That's our beginning of the year routine. I like a vision board. That's a good idea.

We have a stack of magazines that we collect for last month and we both have a piece of big white paper. We individually cut out our things and then we tape it and then we tell each other what our hopes are for the next year. That's awesome. Yeah, it's our one hippie dippy thing we do. That's really good. Because Jax is not a share of feelings.

Yeah, and she's sort of anti-crystal healing. Yeah, she's not into the woo woo. She doesn't like to hug. But vision board. Yeah. But vision board, baby. And at the end of the year, we do look at the old ones and go,

oh, interesting, yeah. So this is, we're about, it's a time to shine. Yeah. Love that. Well, I hope you guys have a lovely New Year's Eve. I hope that for both of you as well. I usually get dim sum and I get a little fortune cookie. I like that. Well, I hope you guys have a lovely New Year's Eve. I hope that for both of you as well. I usually get dim sum and I get a little fortune cookie. I like that. Ooh. So I'll let you know what it says.

Yeah. Please do. I hate when it's a joke fortune. Like you'll have a good food in the meal you're having currently. Well, that's a bad example, but you know what I mean? I know what you mean. Some of them say like an actual fortune and some are just like, it's blue is a great color.

Yeah. But guys, if you want to see maybe Ginger in Nashville on April 6, we'll be doing our live handsome show and then in Austin on April 12. Oh, yeah. Can't wait. Never been to those cities. Oh, man. These tickets are going fast.

Yeah, let's sell them out. Yeah, and then as always, you know, feel free to get my album. Hello again, it's audio version of my latest special. My special, Crushing It, is streaming on Netflix. Please watch it if you haven't, tell your friends. And I'm on tour, I'm in a bunch of clubs the next couple months

around California and then a big theater tour starting April 1st where I'm coming to a bunch of cities. So go to fortunefuture.com to see where I'm coming. And if this episode has got you thinking about addictive tendencies, you could watch Feel Good on Netflix. It's a comedy drama that I made about addictive behaviors, kind of. So if you're hungover, just put that on. Have a great New Year's Eve. And thank you for all the support this year for the pod. We're heading into next year feeling energized,

full of vigor, pumped to do more cool stuff with you two. Yeah, what an awesome year it's been doing Handsome with you guys. Really great, and until next time guys, I mean, shall we? Keep it Handsome. Handsome is hosted by me, May Martin, Tig Notaro, and Fortune Feimster.

The show is produced, recorded, and edited by Thomas Ouellette. Email us at handsomepod at gmail.com, and please follow us on social media at handsomepod. What a podcast! What a podcast! What a podcast! What a podcast! What a podcast!

What a podcast! What a podcast! What a podcast! What a podcast! What a podcast! What a podcast! What a podcast! What a podcast! What a podcast! What a podcast! That was a HeadGum Podcast. Hey, hey, I'm Lamorne Morris. And I'm Kyle Shevrin. And we're here interrupting your workout to tell you about the La Morning After podcast,

now on HeadGum. That's right. Every Wednesday a new episode drops and we... Wait, Lamorne, what are you doing over there? It's nothing, just polishing my Emmy. Why? Because we're now the only official Headgum podcast hosted by an Emmy winner. Is that true?

Probably not. But Jake Johnson's on Headgum. Does he have an Emmy? No. But he has been a guest on The La Morning After. Which might be an even bigger honor. I mean, and we have other amazing guests like Glenn Powell, Raven Simone, the cast of New Girl, and many, many more.

Plus we play games, we tell stories, we poll the fans. For questions. We poll them for questions, Jance D. Polling them constantly. Up and down, sideways, backwards. It's a lot less weird than it sounds. You'll see. Subscribe to The Morning After on Spotify, Apple Podcasts,

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