Handsome - Elliot Page asks about ghosts

Episode Date: October 3, 2023

Elliot Page asks Mae, Fortune, and Tig if they believe in ghosts. Plus "Puttin' on the Ritz," Biggie, and spectral fashion!Handsome is hosted by Tig Notaro, Mae Martin, and Fortune FeimsterFollow us on social media @handsomepodEmail the show: [e-mail]'t forget to rate & review Handsome wherever you get your podcasts!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Welcome to another episode of Handsome. I'm Mae Martin. I'm joined, of course, by my handsomest friends, Tig Notaro and Fortune Feimster. Here we are. Well, well, well. We're together again, you guys. I've missed you. And I, you. You too. And you. And you.

And you, and you, and you. And you, and you, and you, and you. Is everybody feeling handsome? Yeah, you know what? Yeah. As long as I don't glance at myself, sure. I saw somebody say on the handsome page that they were thrown off or somewhere that they were thrown off seeing videos of us not in suits and drinking whiskey. So I'm wondering

if we need to, you know, pull it together a bit. I think you're right. We've dropped the ball. We need to be wearing like three piece suits. Now, I don't know if we have that many suits to be able to do that but we should once in a while be like this is the suits episode where we are but also why can't you just reuse the same suit i feel like i have suits that i've gone to wear more than once and i've maybe gotten a note from someone oh you wore that to the whatever premiere. I'm not somebody that cares about that. Yeah. Also, we only need the top half. We could be just wearing our sweatpants.

I thought you said all we need is the top hat. And that would be a fun addition to the handsome beam. Is a top hat. I wore my suit that I wore for my wedding at like 10 other events. Same. Same. I think that was even pre-getting married. Yeah, it is.

Oh, that was pre-marriage? I think I wore it for like seven things before marriage, wore it for the marriage, because we got married in the middle of the quarantine pandemics. Right. And then probably wore it like seven more times afterwards. And then where is that suit now? It's in the closet just waiting for my next marriage. Just kidding.

Oh, don't even joke about that. I'm kidding. What if I was like, or is it, Fortune? And then I pulled it out and I somehow had your suit. That would be a good prank. Pretty cool. And what an elaborate prank. I know.

I'd love to prank you guys somehow. I don't know how, but... Y'all are really dying to do pranks. Maybe that, like, because Tig, I think you could pull something amazing off if you... I'm almost scared to invite the prank for you. Yeah, I know. I'm not asking for it.

Why am I the prank? I mean, I do love a prank. I got that from my mother. My mother was a full-blown prankster. But is it because I've told you I like pranks? I think so. Yeah, right? Yeah.

Okay. And I like a long play out of a prank where you don't quite know why something's happening or you're seeing someone or something appears and then boom. Oh, you like the long game. Four years go by. Something where you really unravel when you find. Oh, you're like the long game. Four years go by. Something where you really unravel when you find it out because you're like nothing I believed was real. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, I want to be in a straight jacket after this prank just in a padded room. So you would essentially have had to break into Fortune's house, go through Fortune's closet, and look on instagram or google what fortune's wedding suit looked like get that then get out of the house yeah and then slowly lift it up on our zoom you have to get past my guard dog oh i know biggie i'd have to get past Biggie. We are looking at Biggie once again, completely unconscious.

Biggie is on his back, belly exposed. He's here for most of our recordings. Yeah. On my desk, passed out. I don't see anything that looks like a private part on Biggie. If I didn't know Biggie was a boy. He's like a Barbie. He's just smooth down there.

It's just furry. It's just furry. It's just furry, furry, furry. He's like a Barbie. Yeah. He doesn't identify as anything but adorable. Exactly. Do we really need to promote the Barbie movie anymore? That movie.

I haven't seen it yet. Is that bad? Girl. I haven't seen it yet. Is that bad? Girl! I haven't seen it either. I know. I want to see it. And I love that it crushed and made so much money.

But yeah, I still haven't seen it. Cash we are not going to see. I know. We have no stake in that. They didn't have a handsome Barbie. I feel like we talked about this. Yeah, you almost became the handsome Barbie. That's right.

I forgot about that. I saw someone be like, I can't believe Mae wasn't in that. Yeah. It would have been perfect. It's weird. Like the things that people online are like, oh, you should cast Mae in this. And then I'm like, how do you see me? Because people used to say I looked like the villain in Toy Story 1, like that little evil kid. There's a little evil redhead kid in Toy Story with them.

Anyway, we'll cut that out. Whatever. no we won't but may you do look like you could be related to margo uh robbie really i'll take that as a as a high a high compliment you could be yeah like uh margo's barbie bro barbie bro barbie Bro. Where my Barbie Bro's at? But don't you think that they might have a sequel because that was so popular? And I feel like... Of course. Barbie Bro would probably make that movie.

Okay. I have to get this... Copyrighted? Copyrighted, yeah. Oh, we already have competing movies. Yeah. Guys, I just got back from Torontoonto and so many people i say so many two people came up to me and said they love the podcast and one was uh on my flight the flight

attendant came up and she kneeled down in the um aisle which is kind of alarming at first yeah you feel like you're in trouble right yes i what have done and then i was like half asleep and she was like i love the pod um and yeah i know it was so nice and uh yeah i know i've gotten really really great feedback from people and i've even been closing my my live shows yeah before i take my big final uh bow or do you take my big final bow. Do you take a big final bow? I do. I have a gown on and I curtsy. That's more reason to come out and see the show is just to see the gown that I wear live in concert. And your pigtails.

My braided pigtails and my bonnet. But I do. I say also check out the new podcast, Handsome. I mean, I'm going for it. That's so nice. Then I'm going to add that to my live shows. I haven't even thought about doing that, but that makes sense. You know what I even say?

You know what I even say before I do my closer? I say, well, I'm about to head out, but when you're driving home tonight, and you're thinking, what did Tig tell me to check out or subscribe to? It is my handsome pod. All right. Now, let's finish this show. Get this closer. And you know, you're in front of thousands of people.

And then, you know, they're driving home and they're like, what did she say? That's so good. Yeah. I like, you know, before I go and change into my gown for my final bow i just want oh right i'm in army pants for the majority of the show then i do my costume change just for that handsome announcement yeah you plug the pod then you go off for 20 minutes and change get full makeup yeah come back out i make my handsome announcement in a gown with a bonnet on and braided pigtails. And if this is the first episode you've listened to, listen to the others for that to make sense.

I hope it becomes like a cult thing where they screen videos of us making the podcast in like a cinema. And then three actors sit on stage and kind of act it out. It's going to happen. Lip sync it, you think? It's also going to be Handsome on Ice. Yes. Oh, wow. Ice skating?

Well, you know how they have like Disney productions on ice? Right. Handsome will be on ice eventually. I just hope I don't have to ice skate at any point. It'll be all three of us in um wheelie chairs like wheelie office chairs and they just wheel us out on the ice i feel like may can ice skate i was gonna say may should ice skate you know i'm accident prone and i have my health issues so we want to keep me safely off to the side so fortune and i will sit in chairs on the side like commentators on the side

bubble wrap yeah a best in show type of situation in bubble wrap while may is out skating yeah zooming around there's our little handsome one in one of those like disney like tuxedo kind of i would love that and and tuxedo tails. Yes. And they're playing putting on the roots or something like some or singing in the rain or something. Putting on the roots. That's my ice skating song. Putting on the roots.

If we could have this singer. Oh, my gosh. Look at these dance moves. Look at these. Oh, we're putting on the ritz. And if we could take a moment and, you know, Thomas, drop in a moment of that song. So for people that aren't familiar with it, they'll hear it now. It's a banger.

Come let's mix. We're Rockefellers. Walk with sticks or umbrella's in their midst. Putting on the ritz. And we're out of putting on the ritz. That's my tune. That's my tune. Actually, I was doing press for a docu-series that my friend made.

And she's like one of my oldest friends, 23 years. Actually, it's a docu-series about figure skating too. But 23 years I've known her and we were doing one of those things you do with in press where you have to like play games like like how well do you know each other kind of thing and so they said what's may's favorite song and she wrote down on her whiteboard or whatever and like she knows me so well and we've talked about music and she turns it around she's written someone's knocking at the door this like paul mccartney song oh someone's knocking at the it's so not me i don't

even know that song you don't no somebody ringing the bell yeah it's i don't know i was like do i have this like jaunty energy like i guess putting on what is what is your favorite song if it's not that excuse me guys i'm taking a solo over here sorry continue talking over my solo okay we don't want to pay for the rights man what is your favorite song you have one yeah i've got two so it's uh well three okay benny and the jets okay uh a day in the life wait what is that your favorite is that tig's favorite benny and the jets yeah man uh when i was i don't know three or four i think it maybe is when the song came out i was out of my mind over that song. And the way it creeps in, that piano.

Yeah. My mother. Fortune. Fortune. And now I'm trying to sing. Tig. Someone's knocking at the door. Benny.

Somebody ringing a bell. Putting on the lips. We blend them all together oh my gosh somebody make a mashup but yeah my mother would i remember she'd be pulling up in her car and benny and the jets would be on and she would crank it and turn or roll her window down she'd be like benny the jet and i would drop everything i was doing or she'd come out of the house and tell me when benny and the jets was on anyway wow yeah it's got that like driving beat like that slow steady piano thing yeah I have a less um pure experience of it because it was oh anyway it doesn't matter well when I was like yes it does

when I was like 15 or 16 that was sort of like a druggy song for me and no one I knew was doing hard drugs but I quietly privately was secretly and then I would blast that song and I really was like this song is what it's all about like that's that lyric um you fight where you fight your parents out in the streets to see who's wrong you're doing hard drugs to soft rock. Soft rock. The Benny and the Jets. I know you're right, actually. Now that you say that, it's not like I was like death metal. Benny and the snort.

Or techno or something. But it is kind of a cokie song. I mean, I don't condone it, obviously. You're like, I am just wrecked on coke listening to James Taylor. And Carole King king putting on the wrist what's the other one a day in the life but also um great gig in the sky pink floyd i want that at my funeral i think oh what about you guys favorite tunes well benny and the jets tig i can't believe we have that in common we got it kid tig got so excited when you said that, like, your face lit up like it was Christmas.

I mean. I loved that. You went. Oh, Benny and the Jets. That's my tune. Do I have a favorite song? Hmm. Oh, weirdly enough, my favorite, one of my favorite songs, I actually got to sing with

the band this week. I saw this on Instagram. What? Tell us about that. I've been listening to the Chicks since I was like 18 years old. And they have a song called Goodbye Earl. Sure. It's a great karaoke song because the whole crowd will yell like, Earl had to die.

What is this song? You've never heard it before no is it one of those story songs like yes oh i love that i love that for years that was like my go-to karaoke song because it was in a key that i could you know hit yeah and it's just a fun crowd pleaser who doesn't want to scream sing earl had to die yeah i was a fan of that band forever and became friends with nally mains and then ended up on their last show of their u.s tour that's just wrapped after two years they let me come on stage in nashville and sing go by earl with them were you nervous that's like teen fantasy. That was so nerve wracking. I was like losing my mind because I was like, I kept picturing me at 18, listening to them

in my car, like scream singing all their songs. Scream singing. Crying. Because, you know, they have so many good, they have so many hits. They are so good. They're really good and i just kept picturing myself as a in college and it was like a real surreal trippy moment but then i would remember i had to sing and it was the last song in the concert so i was trying to enjoy the concert

but i was so nervous and i just didn't want to mess up right because it was their final song of this tour and then once I got on stage it all just melted and I had a blast I was really kicking and now it was like yeah I noticed you hamming it up okay what's up oh my god it was like a like a dream thing that's so dreamy it did make me realize that I am meant to be a comedian not a singer because touring as a musician is a whole other ball game and it's way harder a lot more work a lot more time consuming so scary i mean it's like that fantasy when you're a kid that i or i used to have this fantasy that because i love third eye blind that band from the 90s i would picture it so clearly being at their concert and then suddenly they're

like oh no guys the lead singer's sick we need someone to step in and then the spotlight would find me and i'd be like i can do this and then i'd get up and that was my dream right maybe tig at your uh or fortune at your next like at the end of this tour the stand-up tour for your last joke you get natalie mains up on stage and she does it take out the indigo girls which they're all closer to finds another favorite of mine and that goes right back to the barbie movie here we are promoting it again we just can't stop promoting it we've been talking about it on the podcast. I've been treading water lately. Just a few minutes out of my day that I take for myself to do something that's good for me.

I wake up feeling better. I have more energy. And, you know, small actions like that can have big benefits. Like how taking care of your gut can support whole body health. Well, Seeds DS01 Daily Symbiotic benefits your gut, skin, and heart health in just two little capsules a day. Now, I've been using Seeds DS01 Daily Symbiotic, and it's great. My skin feels better. I feel better. It's just good. So trust your gut with Seeds DS01 Daily Symbiotic. Go to seed.com slash handsome and use code 25handsome to get 25% off your first month. That's 25% off your first month of Seeds DS01 Daily Symbiotic at seed.com slash handsome code 25 handsome. I love the show hacks and it is back

baby for season three. That's right. We are going to see what kind of antics Debra Vance is up to this season. She is such a treat to watch because who doesn't love Jean Smart? She is so freaking talented. Now, season two left off with Ava being fired. If you haven't watched any of Hacks, guess what? It's on Max. You can catch up, and I highly recommend that you do so before season three starts.

There is also an official Hacks podcast. In each episode, Hacks creators Lucia Agnello, Paul W. Downs, and Jen Statsky speak with cast and crew members to unpack the Emmy-winning comedy series. So check out that podcast, but watch Hacks streaming exclusively on Max and listen to the official Hacks podcast on Max or wherever you get your podcasts. Do you remember that story song like it sounds like it's in the same vein as earl had to die uh the leader of the pack and bet midler would sing it the leader of the pack i love a song that has a room room in it oh sound effects yeah yeah i feel like that time period when leader of the pack came out i feel like there were a lot of songs where there was always some bad guy named Johnny

who needed to not meet the girl's parents. Yeah, just like, and then somebody's always like, Johnny, no! Like, I know that's very much that song, but I feel like there was a lot of mention of like... A lot of bad Johnnies. Yeah, a lot of bad Johnnies during the a lot of bad johnny's during leather jacket it's raining men had thunder and lightning rising these days i feel like modern day johnny's don't connote bad boy anymore johnny sounds like little johnny like it doesn't sound like watch out for john Johnny. Dirty dancing. Johnny. Johnny.

Oh, yeah. He was bad. Yeah, he was a bad boy. Johnny is so frustrating. With a heart of gold. So frustrating. So many. Here's the thing.

Because he's misunderstood. In the 50s, it was little Johnny. Right. You pat him on the head. But guess what? When he grows up in the 50s, it's, Johnny, no. He doesn't care. Switchblade, leather switchblade he's getting the heck out of here he's done with these people yeah yeah don't get too attached smashing the window and driving off

because he forgot his keys um what is my favorite song oh my gosh there's so many i mean that's the thing yeah i could name like 10 songs but i won't one song that is you always think is going to be good at karaoke and then it is not is um ground control to major tom that one because it's a lot slower than you remember and there's long parts that are just like 10 9 and everyone's like's like, oh, come on. Another crowd pleaser, Total Eclipse of the Heart. Oh, yeah. Here's my karaoke song.

Johnny D's on the back up. Drug free, so put the crack up. No need for speed, I'm anti-D-R-U-G-G-I-E. My body's healthy. My rhymes make me wealthy. Anyone? Anyone know what this is? I'm in shock.

Was that another karaoke song shock what is that well we'll leave it to our listeners to write it and tell us what that song is tell us what and and who knew that tig went so hard oh yeah look i love 70s rock that is my sweet spot but then throw in a little donnie d's on the backup was it donnie or johnny in that song donnie i miss the days like around that era like salt and peppa when there would be a little skit in the song like a little scene i saw salt and peet in concert once and was just scream singing their songs too. Let's hear some. If I love a song, I'm scream singing it. Can we hear some?

Oh. Push it! Push it real good! I try to do that. Oh my God! Fortune, that side of you makes me not want to upset you ever. Like the delivery of that is that little Johnny's ball went into your yard. Now let's go back to you telling Johnny to get that ball off your yard.

Johnny, I'm going to need you to get that ball off my yard. Push it real good off my yard. Push it real good. off my yard. Push it real good off my yard. Push it real good. Off my yard. These are all my favorite songs. Yeah. I love Oh My Men by Barbra Streisand.

What a tune. The end of Funny Girl. When her hands go up and her voice catches. Oh, man. When I'm doing karaoke, people want and expect me to do boy bands and Bieber. And deep down, what I want is to do Barbra love guilty yeah guilty yes and we've got nothing to be guilty Get off my yard! Four, three, two, one. Waiting, baby. Putting on the wrist.

Look at Thomas' face. Adam's cheating everybody he meets. Got a heartache of their own. Oh, this is my favorite part of the song, Guilty. We are really singing today. There is a line in that song that says make it a crime to be lonely or sad can you imagine the cops pulling up arresting lonely sad people there'd be a lot of people to do excuse me ma'am excuse me excuse me It looks like you don't have friends And maybe it's making you a little sad

Get in the back of the car You're going right to the clink We got a report that you're going to movie theaters alone With a pumpkin spice latte Well I invited my friend And they didn't want to come And so I was like well I don't want to miss this movie Are there going to be people there I can hang out with

Yeah I guess it would be a whole prison of lonely people. Yeah, maybe it's a great way to meet because social media these days is really disconnecting us as a society. All right, Guilty is my favorite. I do love a duet. Yes. And I also love the Michael McDonald

and Patti LaBelle duet on my own. Well, if you're going, you know, full circle Elton John, don't go breaking my heart. I wouldn't if I tried. Or with Miss Piggy.

Who? On the Muppet show. He did it with Miss Piggy. It was amazing. I wish I could go on the Muppet show. I filmed a thing with the Muppets. You did? I'd be more starstruck than any.

That was a pretty surreal thing i'd film with kermit and fozzie bear what were they like in person great no it's very magical there's all these rules and stuff and they keep track of like you can't just improvise things about them they keep a like strict record of their history like things about them history things have been said about them so that they're never like you know oh kermit went to school no he didn't go to school you know what i mean you can't take pictures of them when they're not in their full situation yeah i love that they keep the magic of it it's pretty great and the guys that that do them they um direct

themselves they're on these like dollies and they have monitors and they are having to direct themselves where to go. And it's all this, they coordinate for hours how to hand things to each other and move. It's pretty wild. That's amazing. I love that a Muppet is like, no, no, no, don't take my picture.

Don't take my picture until your hand's on my ass. Okay, I'm ready. I think Tigger had coffee today. I just am energized from all that singing. I'm in a great mood now. Oh my God. After I rapped and sang duets, I did have coffee, but I'm the annoying order that's six shots of decaf. What? Do you have that?

I have that. I like strong tasting coffee, but it's not for caffeine. I don't have caffeine. What? So, okay. Six shots though. That's crazy. But maybe there's trace amounts of caffeine in the decaf. So then the six altogether equals like a millimeter of real coffee.

But, you know, real coffee is stronger than shots. Huh. And your favorite fact is wild blueberries are healthier than regular blueberries. That's right. I'll always remember that now. A lot of people wrote in about that going, that's good to know. I'm going to add blueberries to my diet. Oh, nice.

Yeah, I saw a lot of feedback on that. We're saving lives here. On our social media? Yeah, on the old handsome pod social media. We've gotten some great interactions interactions going on there guys so if you haven't followed us on the old instagram or facebook do it or twitter whatever you're into i'm checking it every day i love reading the comments it is fun to read the comments it's cool like uh i got excited when because jennifer garner shared a video and then so then I DM her.

Oh, thanks. Or something. Something electric like that. And then she and then she hearted the thing. And I thought, that's cool. She's really cool. Yeah, she gave a she gave a shout out to the handsome pod. She said, I love these three funny people.

That was really nice. That's us. That's us, guys. Actually, it was Tig, fortune and thomas that she met no we're all handsome should we get into this week's question yeah yeah i'm so excited because i have a question from my friend elliot page i'm so pumped that he did this he's also one of the funniest people that's so cool Elliot

I did a thing with Elliot oh what'd you do Tales in the City oh yeah yeah yeah I did something with Elliot but I don't know what it was

really wait guys I think I've done a couple of things with Elliot and one of them was with Jennifer Garner too

we did a live reading of Juno oh nice but yeah he's great May how did you and Elliot become friends is that a Canada connection it's such a Canada connection yeah it was well I always knew and told the story that like I met Elliot when I was 19 we we had a mutual friend and we went to a bar in Kensington Market in Toronto and met and had a fun night in that bar. But I didn't think that he remembered that.

And then years later, like years and years later, I guess he watched Feel Good and DM me and was like, hey, cool stuff or something. And I was like, we've met. Do you remember that we've met? And then he was like, oh, yeah. And then and then, yeah, we became friends. That means no. That was like, yeah, you're right. You're right.

No, I think he did remember but um yeah then we we just have a lot in common we're very i think kindred uh interests and yeah yeah we went up to a cottage and he's such a good-natured person i i was trying to choreograph a backstreet boys dance and i just i i found the vid in my memory we were all doing it everyone was having a great time and then i i found the video the other memory. We were all doing it. Everyone was having a great time. And then I found the video the other day. And it is just him sitting on the couch patiently. And I'm doing it for myself pretty much.

Anyway. Elliot Page, you know him from movies, Juno, Inception, Hard Candy and his hit TV show, The Umbrella Academy. Really, what I'm most excited about is his new book, Page Boy, that is so good. It's so well-written, and you should get the audio book as well. It's very sexy as well.

Very good. Oh, nice. Anyway. I can't wait to read it. Here's his question for us. Hey, Handsome Podcast. It's Elliot, and my question for us. Hey, handsome podcast. It's Elliot.

And my question for you is, do you believe in ghosts? We're getting upon that season, that ghost season. They only come out in October. Is that right? Right? Isn't that how ghosts work? Yeah. right right isn't that how ghosts work yeah i feel like if i had to guess if you guys believed in ghosts i would say that yeah you do you're guessing that about both of us yeah just my guess is that that you do and i bet fortune you've seen one and tig you didn't believe in them for

years and then not something happened and you did. Is that accurate? Well, Fortune, let's hear your answer. Okay, I would think that Mae would believe in ghosts because I think you're kind of up for anything. You think I'd have sex with a ghost? Based on the fact that you are up for anything. Yeah, that I'd have sex with my clone and a ghost. I definitely believe in ghosts. But wait, what is your guess about me fortune well i would

originally say maybe no but then you're from i feel like there's a lot of ghosts where you're from and the deep south they do seem to hang out there you know right there's a lot of old stuff they're kind of military already dead and they know the hurricanes can't get them. Yeah. You know, it's like they're just probably it's fun for a ghost in hurricane weather to just whip around in their little skirt. Yeah. So I feel like you may I feel like maybe you've even seen a ghost. Now, I believe in ghosts for sure.

But it is totally blind faith because I've never actually seen a ghost. I'm actually talking about it in my live show right now. And I have people in my life who've seen ghosts and their stories are like my mom has seen several ghosts. What? And although she is kind of I would be like, oh, my mom's not that fanciful, but she she is. So I don't think she's making up, but she could be is basically what i'm saying yeah but she swore up and down that the house that i grew up in was super haunted and i knew as a kid it had weird energy like i'm an energy person i can like go into a house and feel if there's like a heaviness in there yeah or there's

a weird like vibe but i can't i've never seen a ghost i do feel like some people are more susceptible to it um and she said like she would hear things going up and down the stairs and we'd all be sound asleep they love going up and down stairs what else is there to do they gotta get their steps in up and down there's always like a child in some victorian outfit yeah now my grandmother was not a frou-frou person like hippy dippy whatever and she and my she and my mom both claimed to have seen my grandfather after he died oh wow he visited them both shortly after he died yeah yeah at their house on separate occasions a lot of what i hear is that ghosts it's either right after they die they've got like some

unfinished business they want to come say goodbye or do something or it's like the ones that are really around haunt talking about this so confidently it's because they uh they don't even know they're dead like they're confused or they're kind of stuck and yeah i have never i have never seen one i'm so i'm desperate to i feel like if i were a ghost i would be a confused ghost wandering around going wait what happened yeah where where how come i'm in my what house is this house. It does feel like an in-between, right? Like, yeah, you didn't end up where you're supposed to be. Like there's an opportunity to move on and you missed it. Yeah.

Like did we miss the portal? But also, if that's true, that people, you know, from Little House on the Prairie times, like if you die and then you have unfinished business and you're just kind of hanging around to get it finished, why are all the people from the 1800s wandering around like what what on earth is it going to take to finish their business you know i know it's been a long time it's been a long time you would think that you'd more likely see you know very recent 80s new waivers yeah i'm not i'm not yeah i'm not hearing about ghosts with airpods in no yeah you're right it's always rattling chains and yeah yeah chains all those old

1800s and they would be i mean if they were haunting our houses they would be stressed by all the gay stuff going on right like if they're from another time wait and all the new electronics and the furniture that we have right that too can you imagine some ghosts it's like what's all this gay stuff yeah they would be so homophobic unless they're wait you two ladies are living together i don't want to be a part of this world and yet and then they go and then they move on yeah that's it i'm so upset i'm gonna rattle a chain and not to mention non-binary or christmas carol type of ghost i know

that is apparently so insane apparently one in five americans say they have seen a ghost that seems like a lot wait a minute that's a may fact that is a may fact if i've ever heard one may fact we can't ever guarantee that these facts are accurate yeah but may said it so therefore we can guarantee it's a fact came out of may's mouth i googled it Okay, and these are the two facts. Okay, the first one sounds sort of official. One in five Americans say they've seen a ghost. The second one I cannot back up, but it made me laugh. Ghosts love the smell of lemons.

Oh, okay. I can get on board with that. I read that on a list of facts about ghosts. And they love the smell of lemon this part of the pod is brought to you by lemon pledge even ghosts dig it yeah i don't know why that would be but use lemon pledge to clean up your creaky wooden floors well lemon has stood has been around for many decades. That's true, fortune. So all those Christmas Carol ghosts have probably smelled lemon in their lifetime.

That is a fortune fact. Lemons are not new. Why do we have friends that, like, if they've seen one ghost, they've seen, like, ten. Yes. And then other friends that have seen none. That's why I think some people have that thing where they just see them. Yeah. If you've seen one ghost, you've seen them all.

That is the thing. One of my friends, like, if she goes to like a weird hotel, I'll be like, I know she's going to see a ghost. And then sure enough, she's like, yeah, saw a ghost. I'm like, what? Why do these ghosts only go to you? Hotels and theaters. They seem to be- Theaters are very popular. Haunted a lot. yeah saw a ghost i'm like what why do these ghosts only go to you hotels and um theaters they seem to be very popular haunted a lot oh those lights remember you know how at the end

of the night um a lot of theaters will put a lamp on the stage oh the whole theater's empty then they come bring a lamp and turn the lamp on on the stage and leave. And that's ghost related. Oh, so the ghosts can hang out? Well, I don't have any facts. That's your job. All I can do is rap. The ghost lamp. Well, I definitely, you know, the energy stuff is for sure real. And when you go in an empty theater,

you can feel almost the energetic echo of the hundreds of audiences. Like, I guess there's been so many people gathered there and like laughing and having emotions and crying okay thomas says a ghost light is a single bulb left burning whenever a theater is dark so far take your own point some argue its function is to chase away mischievous spirits others insist it's to light the way for the ghosts that are said to inhabit virtually every theater keeping them happy and contented huh okay well i don't i don't think i believe in ghosts oh really wow yeah really your personality was i was thinking no but then being from mississippi and close to new orleans i was thinking no, but then being from Mississippi and close to New Orleans,

I was thinking maybe you've seen something. Well, you know, when I first got together with Steph, I can't say I don't. Stephanie has a very kind of, you know, she's into ghosts and spiritual stuff. And, you know, what are those rocks crystals yeah you know she has handfuls of gravel you know sand in her pockets and she's that kind of person no she she's into that stuff and i i think before we were together when i would meet people like that or go out with somebody that was like that, I was like, maybe. But Stephanie brought this groundedness with her mystical beliefs.

And I remember when I was doing my original podcast that was, I mean, so long ago. doing my original podcast that was, I mean, so long ago. But when I first met Stephanie, I was listening through to an episode for, you know, to put in edits or whatever. And I was talking to my co-hosts saying that Stephanie saw a ghost. And I was laughing about it on the recording. And Stephanie was in the kitchen and overheard this, and she said, can I ask you something? And I said, yeah, sure. I wasn't thinking anything. I was just listening to this conversation

and me laughing about Stephanie seeing a ghost. And she said, do you think I'm crazy? And I said, no. And she said, do you think I'm a liar and I said no yeah and she said then why are you laughing about me saying I saw a ghost yeah I love that and I was like oh that's oh my gosh yeah that is like the epitome yeah of what I love about her is just that pragmatic like yeah she was just like if you're laughing then you're essentially saying oh stephanie's crazy yeah also it's like we don't know like and and increasingly we are understanding more and more how little we know about everything

from the origins of the universe to the way everything works. And I feel like science is kind of bridging the gap now between, say, like quantum physics and metaphysics and like Eastern mysticism and things that spiritual people have been saying for years. So they're like, we keep finding these links. And so I feel like it'd be arrogant to just write it all off. But I have not had a firsthand experience, but I really want to. I haven't, but it did change the way I go about my thinking or my response when people say that they saw a ghost. Also, what ties in so nicely is that whenever I say, oh, I'm so sad that my mother never met you or that she never met our kids. Yeah.

And Stephanie is very much like, I feel like she's who brought us together. And I think she sees us. And I remember we were at dinner once and I said, oh, my mother loved this song. And then the next song that played, I was like, oh, she really loved this song too. And I was like, oh my gosh, she really loved this. And Stephanie just looked at me and she said, and do you think that's just

by chance that those are playing? And I said, um, and she said, I, she said, I do not. And then that's kind of where she leaves it oh is jack's kind of witchy like that my girlfriend's very very witchy very open to all this girlfriend um she's she's never seen a ghost honestly i'll have to ask her i don't know if she's like a crystal oh well she's not a crystal type of she's very jack's very cut and dry very yeah she's not uh frou frou like i that

she's gotten a little bit of that living in la yeah yeah like la is the place like when you go hang out with people and you have a dinner they're like everyone let's go around the table and say one thing that and she's like oh my god here we go again i always um found chateau marmont kind of creepy and whenever i've been there i get a weird vibe and i have friends also who are like i don't go there it's just got a weird energy you know dark stuff's happened there and then i was reading about how um there was a family staying there and the little kid was um playing like a make-believe game and was like i'm playing with john and it was john belushi he was playing with the ghost of john belushi and he kept talking about he described him and the mom was like holy shit and it turned out he died

in that room oh my god you know what was a play date like with a child and john belushi that's such a good question so you're fine honey i'll be back in a little bit i think what freaks me out and partly has stopped me from fully believing in ghosts is just my fear of like i don't want to get stuck and and i i don't like to think of my loved ones as being like stuck but i think it's more yeah what people people are like no it's not like they're here all the time and they can just they're on another dimension oh i definitely just think there are things we can't explain in that way you know that there are things where you're like oh i don't that's not that doesn't seem of earth you know that there are things where you're like oh I don't that's not that doesn't seem of earth

you know yeah I used to find jack of diamonds cards on the street all the time and that is a strange thing in my family like um my parents in their 20s went to San Francisco to visit a friend called Hector and they kept finding jack of diamonds and it was a very cursed trip like they lost all their money in a casino and it was a very cursed trip, like they lost all their money in a casino. And weird stuff was happening. And they're finding these cards and, and then they couldn't find their friend who they'd gone to visit. You know, he wasn't picking up the landline. This is before cell phones. And so they just couldn't find him. And like months, they ended up going home. And months later, he oh sorry i got anyway hector became a thing and

then they recently googled that um the official name of the jack of diamonds is hector prince hector so that's a weird coincidence and i've i often find jacks of diamonds well i don't have any story like that but i do have a story about a rock. Great. I thought you were going to say, but I do have a rap about a rock. Speaking of singers and songs I love, Edie Burkell, you know her? No. Who's that? You sing that song, What I Am.

What I Am. Anyway. Look her up. You look so disappointed in us. We're sorry we let you down yeah but she mailed me a present that i opened and this was the epitome of the difference between me and stephanie i opened this present stephanie said what is it and i said i don't know it's a rock and she was like let me see and she said oh my gosh it's a crystal and i was like okay i said but what is it and she said it's a crystal and i was like well i know but what is it i like i truly yeah it was so not this is actually this present present opened the world of crystals to me.

Because Stephanie was like salivating as she opened this box. And she was telling me more about crystals. And now it's on our mantle at our house. And it's really beautiful. But I was like, but I kept saying, but what is it? Because to me, I thought Edie had just sent me a rock right in the mail yeah like thanks for nothing feels like a threat almost like a rock in a box now when I am traveling and I see crystals I mean I actually even sent one to

Edie but I've gotten Stephanie many crystals now over the past handful of years and my son our sons are very into crystals now and do you have like sort of secret superstition like like if you're in a crystal shop looking for one for stephanie are you kind of like which am i drawn to like which is no no really you just grab one this is well no this is pretty yeah this is yeah this is pretty isn't pretty enough for a pretty little lady in fact i was a little insecure when i mailed a crystal to edie yeah because i was like i don't know anything about crystals so i don't know if i'm sending her a low rent crystal that she's like oh boy yeah you know this is this isn't quite right yeah so it's solely based on if i think it's pretty yeah i don't know enough about them to know what's what but i know they have all kinds of

healing powers and energy some people like really swear by them yeah yeah so i mean if there were as many ghosts as like you know one in five people seeing them like would we have figured out by now a way to prove it? Like, I know on those ghost shows, they have all those devices and they see like energy and stuff. Well, Stephanie's friend sent her a video the other day that Stephanie showed me and she was like,

oh my gosh, look at this. So-and-so's friend caught footage of a ghost. Was that you? That was me, yeah. Oh yeah? Oh. I sent, I don't know why i haven't brought it up oh okay yeah i saw that video you didn't know it was from a maid didn't know that they said did you and it's insane right well it just looks like a lady would just walk down the

hallway okay so i'll just the context is a friend of a friend no it was so my best friend went out in la to he wanted to meet girls because he's british he was like i'm just gonna go out and be british in a bar and see what happens sure enough they do well we've all been there and he meets these you know he's out putting on the wrist british in a bar british in a bar and he uh he meets these two girls right away and they're really getting along and somehow they start talking about ghosts and they kind of go away and they're really getting along and somehow they start talking about ghosts and they kind of go quiet and they're like, well, yeah, our friends actually just got a video of one

in their apartment and they broke their lease. They went, showed the video to their landlord. He was like, I can't explain this and he let them break their lease and they were like. Oh, because they were scared. They're like, we don't want to live here.

Yeah. And he was like, yeah, fair enough. But what is the worst? He said, fair enough. That is a ghost. Fair enough. See, I was like, that looks like somebody walked down their hall. It just looked like a person.

Yeah. She didn't look like she was from the 1800s. She didn't look like a punk rocker from the 80s. She's in a nightgown. A nightgown with long black hair. So basically, they're doing a TikTok dance. In the black hair. So basically they're doing a TikTok dance. In the apartment? Yeah, so they're filming this TikTok dance

and they think they're home alone. And they didn't notice this until later when they showed it to their friends, but they film and the camera kind of pans over. And just as it pans over, you see what looks like the most solid human being, but with no feet glide past the door. And it's a nightgown,

long black hair, and it's goose bumpy. I did not see gliding. I saw a person walking down the hall. But also my question is, what is the worst thing a ghost can do to you?

There are some evil spirits out there, I believe. But what can they do? You can run your hand scare the shit out of you yeah okay so you're scared but are you gonna die i don't know i've watched horror movies it seems like they've got powers but clearly this let's say this is a ghost yeah we're just two girls trying to get out of their lease yeah trying to go viral and get out of there see what happens when you're british in a bar this is a good idea for someone trying to get out of their

lease yeah if i were a landlord though and i saw a woman walking down a hallway i wouldn't be like okay i see all the proof i need don't sue me i'll let you out immediately because there i have no questions like did you have a friend over? Is this a viral video? Because, you know, so many people try and make viral videos. And also, why are ghosts always in nightgowns? I know. Why?

I know. Why? If I was a ghost, maybe I would want to be just a generic, like, rattle a chain. Nightgown-y. Put on a nightgown. Yeah. I think it's kind of like aliens. Like, it's the people who are doing hoaxes and making fake videos

or being crazy that give the real ones a bad name. Like, because I'm sure there's aliens. And some of those videos are real. There's got to be some cool ghosts out there. Yeah, there's got to be some real. There's got to be cool ghosts in skinny jeans somewhere. There's got to be. Oh ghost in skinny jeans somewhere. There's got to be. Oh, my God.

I totally died. And I don't know where I am. Do you know where I am? I don't know whose house is this. I never lived here. I'm not carrying this chain. Why are they doing all this gay stuff? Oh, my God.

These are two girls. Even the ghosts are homophobic in some of these scenarios aren't homophobic they think they're always popping in on slumber parties right they would never assume that it's uh yeah they're from the 1800s they're just like yeah you guys braiding each other's hair right now yeah yeah yeah ghost yeah ghost there's definitely been yeah ghost that's yeah ghost is up there with clone for me clone yeah ghost is the new yaz queen yeah ghost Should we hear what Elliot said? Yes. Yeah. I gotta say, I kind of believe in ghosts. I feel like there are so many stories that have no explanation. And this life and world is full of so much mystery.

I'm kind of like, why not? Thank you so much. I can't wait to hear about your thoughts on ghosts. Yeah. Elliot's like me. There's things you can't explain. It's the why not thing that I like. Nothing would shock me.

Like if a little worm crawled out of my ear and was like, hi, I'm your soul. And I've been conducting this experiment of life. I'd be like, all right. Yeah. Really? Yeah. See, up for anything.

You wouldn't try and get out of your lease? You just accept it? I would call my landlord immediately. If I saw a ghost, I would probably want to get out of there. I would not be into that. The place I stayed at in Toronto, the closest i've ever been to seeing something was uh it was our first week there and i saw a shadow go into the bedroom oh and i thought it was jacks and she was she was on the top floor it wasn't her i go wait what do you why did you go into the guest room she goes i

i wasn't in the guest room and i saw a shadow go in there and then uh like an hour later we were on the couch there's no uh air vents anywhere near that vicinity and a cold air went over my uh arms in a very like specific way that like stood out where i was like whoa i go oh the air must have kicked on and i looked up and there was no vent anywhere so i there was something you held on to that story for the whole pot i know but it wasn't like a ghost ghost you know what i mean like i didn't see a an actual thing it was just like there are these some things happening that were weird but then i never i was there for another four months and never saw anything again or felt anything again. I hope people write in and tell us their ghost stories. Because also,

sometimes when people tell you a story, you can just tell from how they're telling it that it's real. You know what I mean? Is that a bad that I am I really gullible? No, my mom loves telling people about her ghost sightings. Yeah, yeah, I want to know and I'm and I'm open to it. Yeah. And and also don't be shy to write in if you had a worm crawl out of your ear don't be embarrassed if a worm crawled out and said that he was your soul just put in the subject line yeah ghost yeah ghost yes ghost my godfather was this hilarious greek man he lived in a little village in Greece. My parents used to live in Greece. And he was full of stories. And he would just like hold court at the he ran the

local taverna. And he just sit there the whole night telling stories. And one night, and he had a funny way of speaking because he learned to speak in the Navy. And so he'd go, you know, man, really, I can say somehow, you know, the other night, really, I'm walking home. And I could feel you know, somehow, you know, someone following me, I turned around, there was a cypress tree, walking, following me down the street. Anyway, he thought a tree followed him. And the way he told it was so real. This tree that way, he was drunk. Yeah, he was wasted. Yeah, let us know on our social media accounts. Have you seen a ghost? And we might read your response on a future episode.

Yeah, we'll read our fave. Yeah, because Halloween is coming. Yeah, ghost. Also, write in if you haven't seen a ghost. Yeah, just write in, no, I haven't. And we'll read that. But also, ghosts are year-round, apparently, not just in October. So it doesn't have to just be Halloween for Halloween.

Whoa, what is that accent? I've never noticed your accent. I thought you had a different one. Yeah, I like it. What do you do in school announcements? Morning announcements? Hi, everybody. There's a few soon to ghost. Hi, everybody. you had a different one yeah i like what are you doing school announcements morning announcements hey everybody there's definitely a ghost hey everybody halloween's coming up so make sure you bring your ghost in if you want to join the ghost club they're gonna be meeting tonight at

3 30 in the school library bring a white sheet and wear it over your head well let's be specific oh god oh shit yeah oh shit yes i forgot i forgot we're in the oh boy oh dear oh boy let's leave the white sheets at home my god the ghost club has been canceled it's true what a fun episode yeah that was a super fun episode yeah you guys i learned so much thanks to elliot fortune do you have any uh things coming up you want to promote yeah i'm on my tour if you want to see some stand-up comedy you guys i'm coming uh in mid-october on uh to sioux falls south dakota oakland california evansville indiana dayton ohio charleston west virginia uh just added a bunch of shows like saint petersburg orlando and jacksonville florida and we just put the chicago theater up on sale that's gonna be in february nice and those theaters could be haunted yeah oh and uh i guess you go to fortunefamster.com for tickets may do you have anything you want

to tell our lovely handsome listeners i'd like to say uh on the 8th of october i'm doing the la folk festival it's a music festival and i'm gonna yeah i'm gonna do some stand-up and also um play some tunes uh which is always very scary for me and then on the 10th I'm doing improv at the Elysian with Stephanie Allen famously a ghost head um and uh Alana Johnston yeah ghost and then I always plug these Largo shows but I'm there on the 12th and the 22nd and tickets are at the Largo website. Tig, what about you? Oh, yeah. Thanks for asking.

I am going on my European tour. October 5th, I'll be in Stockholm. October 6th, Brussels. October 8th, Copenhagen. October 9th, Lisbon. October 10th, Amsterdam. October 12th, Berlin. October 15th, Oslo. October 17th, Brighton, October 19th,

Manchester, October 23rd, Dublin, October 26th, London, and then I'm back in the States, October 28th, La Crosse, Wisconsin. Then I am going to be recording my next stand-up special in Brooklyn, November 4th. Get your tickets now. Yeah. Also, before we go, again, because we've gotten so much great feedback from listeners, if you have one friend, if you have two friends, if you have three friends, if you have endless amounts of friends or family that you think would enjoy the show, tell them to check it out. Send up an episode and be like, hey, this is so funny. I think you would laugh so hard. You'd really relate to this, whatever it is.

But follow the show on social media. And most importantly, subscribe. Subscribe to the show on social media. And most importantly, subscribe. Subscribe to the show because then it'll just appear in your podcast inbox or whatever the terminology is. We'll take it. Yeah. Yeah. But tell people and let's build our little handsome community. Yes.

Because so far, so good. It's going great. And by the way, Tig put on a dress just to make that announcement. Yeah, Tig changed it. I did. I had a wardrobe change. Also, tell the ghosts in your house about it. We need some ghost listeners.

We'll take it. We'll take anything. We just appreciate everybody who's been listening. The response has been incredible. And we can't wait to just keep going keep doing this and to also keep it handsome handsome is hosted

by me Mae Martin Tig Notaro and Fortune Feimster the show is produced recorded and edited by Thomas Ouellette email us at handsomepod at gmail.com and please follow us on social media at handsomepod.